The Master of Self Deception LoPR Part III
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This is a story that spanned for more than a year. So, to make the reading easy and appealing I’ve written this story chronologically like writing a diary in parts.
If you are not familiar with the location of engineering colleges in Chennai, let me tell you that first. Most of the colleges are on the outskirts of the main city, say about 20 to 25 km. So, to reach the college at 8 in the morning, one has to wake up at least at 6 (minimum) to get ready and catch the bus on time.
All the engineering guys from Chennai or TN will agree on this. The traffic due to the yellow buses (All college buses are supposed to be painted in yellow) in the morning and evening is a different story. Enough of the background. Let’s get into the story.
You’d have known by now that I am an engineering student. I am in my final year now BTW. I elaborated on the timings before because for me the time period between 6 to 6.30 am is heavenly. That’s because I get to see my goddess angel during this time. At times even before her husband sees her for the day.
Every morning she cleans the veranda and waters the plants wearing a nighty. Sometimes, quite a low neck. Our houses are opposite to one another. And for me luckily, my room is on the first floor with a window and balcony facing her house.
I get up early every day just to get my morning titillation by seeing my darling bending over and sweating. It can’t get more natural. Also, I can’t expect more happiness, given the boring journey I’ll have to endure until the next sight of delight. This happened daily for quite a long time.
She’s a Mallu. Probably 42 to 45 years old with a really good set of assets. She has two children, both studying in college from the hostel. Her husband is a central government employee. As far as I’ve seen he’s slightly hot-tempered. But as neighbors, he shares a good rapport with us.
She often comes to our home when I and my dad are gone and talks with my mother. My conversations with her have been very limited, given that I am mostly ambivert. I am also out of home for most of the day. But, whenever we met, the main topic of discussion would be about my studies and my plans for the future. I would be more than happy to see her closely.
Once she came to our home with some problems with her phone. Luckily for me, I was there at that time. My mom was on the terrace. So I thought this was a small opportunity for me to look her more closely. So, I asked to show me what was the problem. She was wearing a V-neck maxi.
She held the phone up near her breast and I moved to her side. I got what I planned for. As she was explaining her problem, I, being taller could see the deep cleavage from my eye level. That was the first time ever I saw cleavage so close. I figured her boobs were actually bigger than I had imagined.
I could have kept on seeing heaven forever. But I quickly regained my senses and at the same time, my mom was about to open the door. So, I moved slightly away from her and took the phone. It was some network issue and I resolved it quickly.
She thanked me, asked about my studies, talked for some time with mom and went way. That night, I got stronger feelings towards her (thanks to the morning incident). I developed a kind of possessiveness for her. I fixed in my mind that I will have her body at any cost. I knew it could be next to impossible.
But my heart convinced my mind to try. She became my lust goddess and I wanted to worship her at least once in my life. And thus, I began my big deception game. During that incident, I was in my sixth semester. I decided to join the gym in order to build a good body to woo her.
After a couple of days in the gym, I realized two things. First, it will take me several months to attain almost 50% of the body I wanted. Second, working out won’t serve to my actual goal if I couldn’t show it off to her. (I believed working out will attract attention).
So, I tweaked my approach and quit the gym. I bought few sets of dumbbells and decided to work out in the morning in my balcony from where both of us could see each other. This plan did work to some extent. Now I could look at her from open. And she also got a glance at me sweating every morning.
This went for a few weeks. One day she caught me staring at her cleavage from my balcony. It was just a second, that I turned away when she saw me. She didn’t react much and went in. I just wanted to bury my face in the deepest hole. But the line had been crossed.
From the next day, she started wearing a dupatta over her neck to cover her modesty. I got shattered. I knew it was because of me. Not only did I lose my day’s happiness, but also, I had degraded my image in her mind. I couldn’t face her. I felt lost. I wanted to apologize to her.
But I felt it would be better if this matter just fades away by not talking about it at all. My heart convinced me it’s still possible to reach my goal. I mustered all the hopes and started from level zero again. I knew if I stopped working out, she would understand my dirty intentions and that will be the end of all.
So, I continued my morning activities as usual and she went on doing her work. This went on for a month or so. My semester exam began in the following month. So, during those days instead of working out in the balcony, I started to sit and study there.
I did it intentionally to make her believe that, what happened that day was because of some sudden involuntary reaction. I didn’t have any evil thoughts. The game worked. She started smiling back at me whenever we crossed and talked like before. But she continued wearing the dupatta in the mornings.
Still, I felt happy that I had my image cleansed in her mind. That was a big progress in my deception. From that incident, I understood a couple of things. First, her thoughts could be manipulated with the correct triggers. It is hard, but not impossible.
Second, it is very important to make her build an image of me in her mind, in a way I want it to be. This will make her thought process about me in the way I want her to think. If I wish to tunnel her thinking towards my goal, I had to play with these two factors cleverly, in both emotional and subconscious levels.
To be continued.
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The Deception of Choice. Episode Two, comprising Chapters 3, 4, & 5. Preamble David's life might be thought, by those more concerned with physical rather than mental deprivation, to have taken a more promising turn. Perhaps so but David is less than convinced; indeed in his mind the confusion mounts. And the sweet reasonableness of it all so difficult to resist. Chapter 3. The perfumed warmth of the room engulfed him. It was an alien place after the cell. The warmth...
The Deception of Choice. Episode Three, comprising Chapters 6, 7, & 8. Preamble Some light is cast onto the general background, but not enough to provide real illumination. And, alas, none appears at the end of the tunnel for David. Indeed it is generally a rather dark episode; with nothing in it to provide comfort for those who enjoy a happy ending. Although I suppose such depends on your point of view and where your sympathies lie. With the Foundation or with...
The Deception of Choice. Episode Five, comprising Chapters 12, 13, & 14. Preamble Such hard work learning to be a girl. So lucky that everyone wants to help. So many things to remember though. Even Grace de Messembry is moved to propose a useful intervention as an aide memoire. Not that David is at all grateful. Such a pity that his trivial, oh-so-futile, gestures asserting masculinity should be viewed so seriously. Chapter 12 Silence lay heavy, almost tangible,...
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The Deception of Choice. Episode Nine, comprising Chapters 23 & 24. Preamble In which dreams are dreamt and then discussed. Their immediacy though is less disturbing than that of more physical simulations of the feminine experience. Coralie, less prone to the niceties of inner debate, continues to test the skills of all who would help her to come to terms with her new circumstances. All leading to a violent and bloody confrontation on a May morning. Chapter...
The Deception of Choice. Episode Ten, comprising Chapters 25 & 26. Preamble After the attempted knifing, Grace de Messembry visits David in the Venumar Foundation's Hospital Research Facility, but does her gratitude lie deeper than her words? And what does she know about the knife? Emma has some rather exciting news, and some bad too. Coralie is seemingly broken just as the inscrutable branches apparently are. Otherwise nothing much happens. Nothing good from David's...
The Deception of Choice. Episode Eleven, comprising Chapters 27 & 28 Preamble: David, back from his sojourn in the Venumar Foundation's Hospital Research Facility feels a sense of homecoming on his return to the comparative privacy of the Holding Wing. And such a welcome from all the girls! Not to mention Dr. Tabatha and his instructors. Escape seems further away than ever and sometimes that seems less important. Oh and Coralie returns, but alas no longer the girl you may...
The Deception of Choice. Episode Fourteen, comprising Chapters 33, 34 & 35 Preamble David arrives at the Finishing Centre. So much more freedom there. If he can just hold true to his resolve, all will surely be well. Or will it? Life is never quite so straightforward. Particularly not for David. And freedom is anyhow only relative. "Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage;" Chapter 33. He was above all conscious of how different the sensation was. Around...
The Deception of Choice. Episode Fifteen, comprising Chapters 36, & 37 Preamble Another day in the life of our hero. Or heroine as The Venumar Foundation would wish him to be known. Anne acquires a longed-for companion and unburdens herself of childhood's memories, whilst David finds confirmation of a sort. Together they try to form a hypothesis. But alas unsuccessfully. Unless.... Otherwise Life pursues the even tenor of its ways. Anyone for tennis? Chapter 36. David...
The Deception of Choice. Episode Seventeen, comprising Chapters 40 & 41. Preamble. David's friends lend sympathy and help. For which David is duly grateful but does it solve anything? Is it all too late with the Government seemingly now involved? Hope eternal springs in some breasts whereas David's breasts seemingly just spring .... Helen offers an explanation, but you will have to decide for yourselves.... Chapter 40. Anne, there before him, was sitting at a table...
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