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Understanding the
G-SPOT
and Female Sexuality
A 10-Step Guide
for Unleashing the Ultimate in Female Ecstasy
by Donald L. Hicks
Understanding the G-Spot and Female Sexuality:
A 10-Step Guide for Unleashing the Ultimate in Female Ecstasy
Copyright © 2001, Donald L. Hicks
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without written
permission from the author.
Cover Photo: SuperStock Inc.
Universal Publishers / uPUBLISH.com
USA / 2001
www.upublish.com/books/hicks.htm
ISBN: 1-58112-657-3 paperback
ISBN: 1-58112-655-7 ebook
Material in this book is for educational purposes only. This
book is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the
publisher is engaged in rendering legal, accounting, investment,
medical, or any other professional service.
The G-Spot techniques described in this guide are designed to
help individuals and couples heighten their sexual pleasure and
emotional well-being. Absolutely no part of the program should
cause pain or unusual symptoms. Should such arise during or
after G-Spot stimulation, the affected party is advised to seek
medical evaluation to identify possible causes. No part of this
book should be used as means of self-treatment or as a viable
substitute to or for medical evaluation by a physician. Any use
of the techniques used in this book are at your own risk.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1– Learning the Basics 7
Does the G-Spot Exist? 7
What’s the big deal about G-Spot orgasms, anyway? 9
The Dire truth about conventional orgasms 11
The 92% Factor 14
Why Does the G-Spot Exist? 16
A Side Order to Go, Please 17
Blended Orgasms - A Recipe for Higher Ecstasy 20
To Orgasm, or Not to Orgasm? 22
Intimacy: 101 24
The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation 25
Some Healthy Considerations 32
A Brief History of the G-Spot 34
Chapter 2– The Technique 37
Let’s get started! 37
Step 1: Priming 39
Step 2: Foreplay 40
Step 3: More Foreplay 41
Step 4: Teasing 43
Step 5: The “Go Ahead” Sign 45
Step 6: Hovering 46
Step 7: Locating her G-Spot 49
Step 8: Stimulating the G-Spot 52
Step 9: The “Big-O” Draws Near 55
Step 10: You’re There! 57
Chapter 3– Afterwards 59
The Little Death 59
Sharing the Experience 60
Chapter 4– Self-Application 62
Chapter 5– Exploring Other Possibilities 64
Chapter 6– Problem Shooting 67
Pain or Discomfort 67
Inability to Reach Orgasm 68
The Urge to Urinate 69
Orgasm Anxiety 70
He Said / She Said 71
The Emotional Aspect 73
Chapter 7– Tips From Experienced Users 75
Chapter 8– An Informative Interview
with a Renowned Sex Researcher 80
Chapter 9– Case Studies & Worksheets 88
Female Responses 88
Male Responses 97
Chapter 10– The Ending Climax 104
Voluntary Questionnaire 105
Part 1 106
Part 2 108
Resources for Further Research 112
Reading Materials 112
Web Sites 113
Key Words Glossary 114
About the Author 118
Materials Used in Preparing This Guide 119
Bibliography 119
Endnotes 120
Dedication
This book is dedicated to Arleta, the one person who encouraged
me to write. The wife who never complained about the trough I
wore in the floor while pacing restlessly back and forth, searching
for that elusive word or angle. The woman who never laughed at
the bald spots worn above either ear from scratching my head in
thought. The one person who had unwavering confidence in my
abilities, even when I lacked faith in myself.
Without her patience and understanding, this book would
not exist.
Learning the Basics
Does the G-Spot Exist?
You may be wondering if the G-Spot is real.... Does it exist,
or is all the “G-Spot hype” just a selling tool for magazine articles
or adult novelties? And if the G-Spot does exist, why is it there?
Why is it so easily overlooked? What physical purpose does it
have? Does the penis touch it during intercourse?
And most importantly, if the G-Spot does exist, how does one
find it and coax it from hiding?
This book will answer all of these questions.
You may also wonder about female ejaculations — “squirting”
as the phenomena is often called. Is “squirting” merely more
sales hype, or are female ejaculations real? And if female ejaculation
does occur, why haven’t you seen it? Why does it occur?
What physical purpose is there for female ejaculations?
If you’re wondering about any of these questions, let me take
a moment to congratulate you for taking the time to enrich your
knowledge and understanding of female sexuality. As you will
learn from these pages, the phenomena of the G-Spot and female
ejaculations are not new to society. Documented mentions of
these enigmas can be traced back through history to as early as
Aristotle. And without doubt, millions of people have reached
their graves without ever experiencing the joys and pleasures
offered by the G-Spot.
The goal of this book is simple. We want you to learn, firsthand,
that both G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation do exist
and can be evoked to bring about the ultimate in female ecstasy
and sexual enjoyment. More importantly, you’ll learn why these
two phenomena exist, how they’ve been overlooked countless
7
times in the past, and the important roles they play in the processes
of human reproduction and c***dbirth.
Through these pages, you’ll learn a proven and tested “10-Step
technique” that shows you how to find the G-Spot, how to stimulate
it, and how to drive your lover crazy with ecstasy. You’ll deepen
your understanding of the female anatomy while learning new
methods of rekindling the romance and sexual excitement in your
current relationship.
The G-Spot does exist. Through this book, you can prove it to
yourself, and your lover.
8
What’s the big deal about G-Spot
orgasms, anyway?
“My lover and I have great sex...why do we need to worry about
the G-Spot?”
If you’ve never seen or experienced a true G-Spot orgasm,
imagine for a moment, an orgasm that causes the whole vagina to
spasm violently, often contracting so tightly that it literally tries
to “force out” your finger or any object in the vagina. And imagine
that while these intense contractions are throbbing and pulsing
throughout the vagina, the vagina becomes very wet, often literally
ejaculating a stream or spurt of fluid with each contraction.
Imagine an orgasm that causes such intense ecstasy that even the
quietest and most controlled woman will yelp and buck and
thrash; one that makes normal “screamers” go dead silent—the
scream caught in her throat—a scream that if freed may wake all
the neighbors within a five block radius.
And imagine the satisfaction of never having to wonder: “Did
she just orgasm? Did she fake it, or was it real?”. But instead
knowing the instant her orgasm begins by clear physical signs
that occur involuntarily and accompany the orgasm.
This is the glory of a G-Spot orgasm.
But we don’t want you to take our word for it. We want you to
see for yourself.
Here’s what a few others had to say:
“I didn’t think orgasms like that were real. . . I thought they
only existed in romance novels. . .” — B. R.
9
“It was absolutely the deepest, most wonderful climax I’ve
ever felt! It was like warmth started in my very center and flowed
outward all over my body. I loved it!” — L. K.
“I thought I had wet the bed! And then (name withheld)
explained what had happened and I could hardly believe it finally
happened to me. . . If I have to wash the sheets every day for the
rest of my life, it’s worth it.”— T.J.
“I wanted it to last forever and couldn’t stand another second.
. . both at the same time. It was the greatest!” — M.J.J.
“After that, I’ll never let (name withheld) get away from me!
Our love life has never been better. . .” — K. A.
“She used to just lie there and moan through the whole thing.
It was frustrating because I never knew when she was orgasming
or if she even orgasmed. Thanks to your technique, there’s no
more guessing...” — T.P.
10
The Dire Truth
about Conventional Orgasms
While most men can go from “slightly-interested” to “fullejaculation”
and orgasm in an average of 3 to 4 minutes, orgasms
for women are often more elusive. On average, a women requires
15 minutes (or longer) of combined foreplay and stimulation
before orgasm is achieved. The reward: a clitoral or vaginal
orgasm lasting an average duration of 8 to 19 seconds.
In the early 1970’s, a detailed nationwide study showed that
nearly 12% of women never experienced any type of orgasm! The
same study showed that 16% could have an orgasm during intercourse
(with the addition of clitoral stimulation) and 19%
achieved a rare orgasm through intercourse alone. Only 26% had
an orgasm on a regular basis (30% when including those who
claimed to have vague “good feelings” in the vagina).
Couple this with the brief 8 to 19 second duration of an average
orgasm and you have a very dire picture.
Another segment of the study showed controversy over
“clitoral” orgasms vs.”vaginal” orgasms. The consensus showed
that clitoral orgasms (empty vagina) were largely considered
“higher intensity” than orgasms with vaginal penetration—but
there was a catch-22 factor. During clitoral stimulation and
orgasm, most women felt a strong desire to have an object in the
vagina. The problem with this “vaginal craving” was an immediate
decrease in pleasure if vaginal penetration was made.
Additional parts of the study concluded orgasm intensities
could range from questionable (“was that an orgasm I felt?”) to
pure ecstasy—but the high-intensity orgasms occurred much less
frequently. The study also showed that most women have intercourse
for the purpose of sharing emotional intimacy, while another
group’s primary motivation was to obtain the ever-illusive
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orgasm. One study showed that about 1/3 of the women studied
enjoyed anal penetration while another 1/3 didn’t like anal penetration.
Another study showed that 21% of women desired daily
sex, while 18% —nearly the same amount—were satisfied with
sex 3 times per week. Other studies probed masturbation with fingers
versus objects, sex with the legs together versus spread, and
the preference of different positions during sex.
The relevance of this information is to elucidate the obvious:
we are all different and have different tastes and desires in a partner
and how we interact with that partner. We have different
needs, likes and dislikes. Secondly, it brings to light the sad reality
that many women never orgasm, and those who do aren’t always
satisfied afterwards.
But now there is hope.
Duration in the length of orgasm is one area where the G-Spot
leaps ahead.
Unlike the normal vaginal or clitoral orgasm, the G-Spot
orgasm lasts not a mere 8 to 19 seconds, but often lasts 45 seconds
— with common reports of 2 minute orgasms and rare
reports of orgasms lasting between 20 and 40 minutes! One man
reported:
“She kept orgasming as long as I was rubbing the spot. It
never quit or slowed down. We have a clock radio on our night
table and it went on for at least 45 minutes. I know that sounds
like an exaggeration, but it’s not. I was beginning to think it
might harm her in some way if I kept going. And I was ready to
explode any minute. Watching her thrash around in ecstasy and
feeling how warm and wet her [vagina] was against my fingers
was driving me crazy. Her [vagina] kept contracting and squeezing
and she felt as tight as a schoolgirl again. It was driving me
crazy. I love this G-Spot thing.”
A few women have reported needing to stop their partners
from continuing stimulation because the pleasure was “excruciating”
or “nearly unbearable.” One woman stated:
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“The anxiety was overwhelming. At first I thought it would
never come and when it did, the ecstasy was almost unbearable.
It felt so wonderful I couldn’t stand it. I thought I might go crazy
from the pleasure. I wanted to keep going, but had to stop, both
at the same time. And when it was over, I was exhausted and
totally satiated. Total bliss doesn’t define what I felt. It’s not even
close.”
Beyond driving your lover crazy with long-lasting ecstasy, an
additional benefit of G-Spot stimulation may be a reduction in
risk for cancer and diseases in the female prostate (also known as
Skene’s paraurethral glands and ducts). While the occurrence of
female prostate cancer is low and seldom fatal, any reduction of
risk is still beneficial. According to many alternative health
experts and Oriental practices, massaging the prostate can drain
toxins and stress. In the book, The Prostate Miracle, New Natural
Therapies That Can Save Your Lifei, the authors discuss similar
means for cleansing the male prostate gland and releasing toxins.
Although the female prostate is smaller than the male counterpart,
the two develop from the same embryonic tissue. Because of
their similarity, one might hypothesize that stimulation of the
female prostate and the corollary release of fluids and cleansing
could offer the same benefits as male prostate stimulation. This
topic of women’s health deserves future research.
13
The 92% Factor
Using the technique provided in this book, an astounding 92%
of our respondents reported success within the first 3 applications
of the technique! This percentage includes women who previously
considered themselves either non-orgasmic or reported low occurrences
of orgasm.
In one survey we conducted, women were instructed to grade
“Vaginal”, “Clitoral”, and “G-Spot” orgasms on a scale of 1 to 10
(with 10 being the “most pleasurable” and 1 being “least
pleasurable”). Of the respondents who achieved successful G-Spot
orgasms, the average rating was a “10” (One woman claimed it
was “off the chart”)! The average rated clitoral orgasms was an
“8” and vaginal orgasms ranked third in pleasure intensity with
a “6”.
When asked to describe their G-Spot orgasm experience, we
commonly received the same four statements within most
descriptions:
1. “It was deeper than anything I’d felt before.”
2. “It felt very different from previous orgasms.”
3. “It was more fulfilling/satisfying than previous orgasms.”
4. “It felt ‘better’, ‘more pleasurable’, or ‘more intense’ than
other orgasms I’ve had.”
In addition, many women equated the G-Spot orgasm to a
“whole body” event, whereas other orgasms were “pelvic”. We
received many comments about feeling a “heat” that started deep
within “their core” and spread throughout their body. Coinciding
with this statement, many of the sexual partners (who administered
the technique) made comments such as: “she broke out in a
sweat afterwards” or “she was drenched and exhausted” or “she
threw off the covers”.
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Many women also reported their first (noticed) “female ejaculation”
occurred with the G-Spot orgasm. One re-occurring
comment we received was: “I thought I’d wet the bed. . .”. We
have heard this comment over and over.
While G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculations are separate
entities, the two sometimes occur simultaneously. We’ll discuss
female ejaculation in greater detail, later.
Like finding a half-bloomed rose, you now have a glimpse of
the G-Spot’s glory. Soon the petals will unfold.
15
Why Does the G-Spot Exist?
Beyond the intense sexual pleasure the G-Spot is able to produce,
new studies are investigating the G-Spot’s value in blocking pain
during c***dbirth. In an article titled Beyond the G-Spot: Recent
Research on Female Sexualityii which appeared in the January 1999
Issue of Psychiatric Annals, authors Whipple and Komisaruk
state: “. . . a series of studies has demonstrated that self-stimulation
of the anterior wall of the vagina in women produces a significant
elevation in pain thresholds. . .” and “we believe c***dbirth would
be more painful without this natural pain-blocking effect...”.
This research (which has been replicated by other researchers)
shows the G-Spot’s value during c***dbirth. Because of this, we
feel that the physical purpose of the G-Spot is:
1. To ease pain during c***dbirth (as shown by Whipple and
Komisaruk).
2. To either enhance or provide sexual pleasure.
By stating “enhance” sexual pleasure, we are referring to
“non-direct” G-Spot stimulation. For example, when the penis
swells during normal intercourse, the increased girth of the penis
may partially stimulate the G-Spot and “boost” a woman’s sexual
enjoyment to the point she orgasms with her partner. If your lover
has ever said anything like: “You started swelling and hitting
something up in there that felt great...” you may now understand
what was happening. Likely, the partial stimulation of the G-Spot
enhanced her sexual pleasure.
By stating “provide” sexual pleasure, we are referring to direct
stimulation of the G-Spot. Which, as you will hopefully soon
learn, can provide a stand-alone unparalleled source of orgasm.
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A Side Order to Go, Please
By following the technique outlined in this book, one can
obtain indirect rewards along the way. The Ten-Step system is
designed to teach G-Spot understanding and prowess, yet it also
incorporates the building blocks for enriching and strengthening
relationships.” Heightened intimacy” is a good example. We all
need a partner with whom we can share our hopes and dreams,
our fears and desires, our failures and our triumphs. We need
someone to laugh with and someone to help us forget the pressures
society heaps on our shoulders. Sharing intimacy and having friends
to confide in can be an important element of good emotional health.
“Spontaneous praise” is another suitable example. When we’re
dating that special someone, praise is a wonderful tool. It’s a
great way to evoke a smile, a word of thanks, or perhaps even a
kiss. We use praise to hint our feelings toward that person by saying
“I love this about you” or “I love that about you”. And because of
the smile it often evokes, we freely point out our mate’s beauties,
skills, or whatever qualities we admire in them. They smile, love
us for our admiration, and often return a like sentiment.
As the relationship progresses, however, we tend to withdraw
from praising our partner and she or he withdraw from praising
us. Offering praise becomes similar to giving part of ourselves
away: a silent forfeiture of power. It fosters feelings of inadequacy
because giving praise somehow makes us feel like “less” and the
other person like “more”. Beyond that, the lack of received praise
begins to gnaw at our own self-worth. We start second-guessing
whether our partner still admires the traits she or he once freely
applauded. We vow not to venture out on a shaky limb and praise
him or her if they no longer praise us. The same praise we once
used as a helpful tool has now become a weapon, and we set ourselves
up to have a “praise stand-off” with our mate, like two
petulant c***dren pretending to be gunslingers.
17
With the stealth of a snake, a rift has split the ground between
us and our partner, widening with the passage of time, until we
are separated by an immense void.
But this need not be the case. As we know, the world can be a
harsh place. It continually beats us down. At times, the simplest
word of encouragement from our mate can bolster and fortify us,
giving us the strength to lift our chin and carry on. By recognizing
the fact that we need praise, it’s easy to understand that our mate
needs praise too, in all the same ways. And whom do we want as
the source of that praise: ourselves, or a stranger? What does it
really cost us to give praise? What might it cost if we don’t?
Like most things worthy of pursuit, the rewards you (and your
partner) receive along the way to the G-Spot—pleasure, tenderness,
open communication, increased sexual awareness and sexual
expression—will reflect the effort you extend.
One successful user of the technique had this to say:
“. . . Thanks so much for introducing me to the G-Spot and
sharing your wealth of sexual know-how. You have no idea how
beneficial your time and insightful comments have been in restoring
my marriage. Before reading your book, my wife and I were on
the brink of separating. Lovemaking had become an unimaginative
weekly ritual for us. The fires of romance that once blazed brightly
had dwindled to a pile of cool ashes. We spoke to each other only
out of necessity and both felt we had grown apart. Now, that has
changed. The knowledge you imparted has changed that. By following
your suggested steps, the doors of communication re-opened.
My wife and I discovered that we still have many common goals;
they were just buried underneath the headaches of everyday life.
We were both bored in the bedroom and had little desire to cuddle
or do anything that might lead to sex. Now, we’re like teenage
lovers again. Our relationship is renewed. We take walks together,
talk openly, and have adventurous sex daily (twice if we can manage).
It all started that first night I tried your technique. The seed for
new growth was planted. I (we) can’t thank you enough. ”—G. P.
If your relationship has grown stale and lacks romantic luster,
congratulate yourself for purchasing this book. You’ve taken a
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positive step toward rekindling the fires of romance. And while
buying a book may seem insignificant, remember that knowledge
is a powerful tool. Sometimes the smallest spark can set off the
largest blaze.
The matches are now in your hand.
19
Blended Orgasms
A Recipe for Higher Ecstasy
“What are blended orgasms?”
Suppose for a moment that your mate mentally rates a clitoral
orgasm as a “7” and a G-Spot orgasm as a “10”. What would
happen if she felt both of these orgasms at the same time? The
answer is simple: she would experience an (off-the chart) blended
orgasm.
In the early 1970’s, Irving Singer touched upon the concept of
“blended” orgasmsiii. Thereafter, while studying the continuum
of orgasmic response and the corresponding nerve pathways,
Whipple and Perry validated, defined, and clarified the reality of
“Blended Orgasms”iv .
In layman’s terms, blended orgasms are two or more orgasms
occurring simultaneously (or in very close rotation). Blended
orgasms originate from multiple sources of simulation. For example,
if you perform cunnilingus as you stimulate your partner’s G-Spot,
she may experience a blended “clitoral/G-Spot” orgasm.
While the two obvious sources for blended orgasms are either
(1) “stimulation of the clitoris and G-Spot” or (2) “stimulation of
the clitoris and vagina”, we need not limit our thinking to only
these two combinations. An orgasm can originate from a variety
of sources. For some women, having the breasts massaged or
nuzzled is very pleasurable and can bring about orgasm. For others,
petting and necking (with or without breast stimulation) can
induce an orgasm. Others reported an orgasm during dreams,
while horseback riding, and even while dancingv. And for others,
mental imagery alonevi vii (without any physical stimulation) can
cultivate orgasm.
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Opposite of this, as we discussed in the earlier segment, 12%
of women reported never experiencing any type of orgasm.
Others reported being able to orgasm through only one type of
stimulation, such as clitoral stimulation. Logic would therefore
indicate that not all women are likely to experience blended
orgasms—unless they find new sources or methods of becoming
orgasmic.
We hope the technique you learn from this book will be such a
source; a freshly bloomed rose, filled with sweet nectar.
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To Orgasm, or Not to Orgasm?
That is the question many people ask themselves
during intercourse.
Because you purchased this book, it’s highly probable you
would enjoy seeing your mate experience a “blended orgasm”.
And it warrants mentioning here, your display of unselfishness
and caring is commendable. However, while the thought of seeing
our mate experience a blended G-Spot/clitoral orgasm may be
appealing, we must learn to “walk” before we can “run”.
As we learn to “walk”, the first mental step is learning and
accepting that people choose to orgasm. Deciding to orgasm is a
personal choice. No one can “give” or “will” another person an
orgasm—no more than you could “will” a stranger to remove
their clothing.
We each make individual choices concerning “if” or “when”
we will achieve orgasm—often without conscious deliberation of
the subject. For those who are highly orgasmic, the sheer act of
removing clothing (or allowing it to be removed) may mark the
decision. For others, the decision may not be concluded until
stimulation or coitus is underway and “the waters are tested”,
often mere seconds before orgasm. Others release their reservations
in layers. Like an autumn tree shedding its leaves, they
slowly drop inhibitions, as they grow resoundingly secure and
comfortable with the relationship. And yet others refuse ever to
relinquish control, usually from fear of self-humiliation, or to
avoid appearing too “wanton” or “loose”.
Along the way to making the decision, there are several determining
factors ensconced within the decision-making process. In
order to “let go” and orgasm, most people need to feel secure
with their partner. We need to feel good about ourselves, safe at
the location, and comfortable with what’s happening to our bodies.
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These factors are more prevalent if we’re with a new partner
or trying a new experience. While “new” can be exciting, the
excitement is fueled by the suspense of not knowing what to
expect. And because we don’t know what to expect, we reserve
judgment until late into the process.
All of this is important to consider as you administer the GSpot
technique. As you may recall, one of the four most common
descriptions we receive about the G-Spot experience is: “It felt
very different from previous orgasms”. Because of this, at some
unknown point while you’re applying the G-Spot technique, your
partner will realize something new and very exciting is happening
to her. She will then have to decide whether “to orgasm, or not to
orgasm”.
Deciding whether or not to reveal the G-Spot technique is up
to you. If you tell your mate beforehand of your plans to administer
the G-Spot technique, you may set up to be a victim of
“orgasm anxiety” (discussed later). On the other hand, if she
senses something new and unknown is happening to her (while
you’re applying the G-Spot technique) she may “hold back” and
delay or inhibit the orgasm due to the uncertainty of what she’s
feeling.
It’s a catch-22 situation and you should remember this as you go.
We recommend that you don’t initially mention your plan to
administer the technique. Instead, be aware that at some point
during your administration, she will sense this “new and exciting”
wave of pleasure building within her. Watch for the signs of her
uncertainty. When you see these signs, begin reassuring her that
you know what’s occurring and understand it. (“I know what’s
happening to you. It’s okay. I’m here. Just enjoy what you feel”).
The same thinking holds true with blended orgasms. While we
encourage the pursuit of blended orgasms, don’t overwhelm her
by trying to make the first G-Spot orgasm a “blended G-Spot/
clitoral orgasm”. Take it one step at a time. After she grows
familiar with G-Spot experiences, gaining both confidence and
understanding, she’ll be better suited (if not eager) to explore the
bold world of blended orgasms.
23
Intimacy 101
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word “intimate” as:
“Marked by very close association, contact, or familiarity;
marked by a warm friendship; suggesting informal warmth and
privacy; of very private and personal nature.”
As illustrated through the above definition, people share intimacy
with, not only their lovers or sexual partners, but also with
close friends, family members, and even pets.
Since the subject matter of this book deals with inner-couple
relationships, most references to “intimate” or “intimacy” refer to
the bonding, topics of private and personal nature, or the aspects
of carnal knowledge that occur within a relationship.
This point is being clarified because it’s important to acknowledge
that intimacy need not be linked to sex. Intimacy is the sharing
of one’s innermost feelings and thoughts with someone we
trust. Not only does it erect temporary buffers to the outside
world, it also provides a brief respite from stress. It staves off
loneliness and promotes our self-worth. Conversations are “mindto-
mind”; intimacy is “heart-to-heart”.
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The Phenomenon of Female Ejaculation
Beyond intimacy, one other clarification needs to be made
before we start covering the technique. Modern society tends to
propel the myth that G-Spot orgasms and female ejaculation are
the same occurrence. And while the two often do occur together,
it’s important to realize they are separate wonders—not one entity.
For simplification, we’ll explore this topic through a
“question/answer” format:
If G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation aren’t the same,
what exactly is “Female Ejaculation”?
Female ejaculation occurs when a women “ejaculates” fluid
(usually different than urine) from her urethra during sexual
arousal or orgasm.
Where does this fluid come from?
Surrounding the urethra and running to the neck of the bladder
lies a network of glands, ducts, and nerves called the “Skene’s
Paraurethral Glands”. As we mentioned earlier, these glands are
the female counterparts to the male prostrate. The Skene’s Glands
are the source of female ejaculate.
If it’s not urine, what is this fluid?
The fluid is typically described as “clear” or “milky”, having
little or no odor, and a sweet taste. However, as with male secretion,
the taste may change due to dietary intake or possibly as
part of the menstruation cycleviii.
The primary chemical makeup of the fluid is glucose, fructose,
prostate specific antigen (PSA) and prostatic acid phosphatase
(PAP)ix x xi xii. The fluid may also contain traces of urinexiii.
25
Interestingly enough, fructose is one of the components present
in male ejaculation. Its primary job is to mobilize the spermatozoa.
While it was once believed that male fructose was the sole propellant
of spermatozoa, the presence of fructose in female ejaculate
would evidence the contrary. Instead of passively waiting for
spermatozoa to “swim” to the egg, the female plays an equally
active role in the reproduction process by infusing her own fructose
and ushering the spermatozoa’s movement, thus increasing the
probability for successful fertilization.
Because of this, we feel the physical purpose of female ejaculation
is to aid in the mobilization of spermatozoa. And while it
may not be scientifically proven, it stands to reason that stimulation
of the G-Spot and the female prostate may be a beneficial
pursuit for couples facing problems with conception.
As another interesting note, early forensic medicine checked
**** victims (and/or spots on their clothing) for the presence of
acid phosphatase, to prove **** had occurred. Research on female
ejaculate has since proven this test has no forensic value since
female ejaculation contains acid phosphatase.
What causes female ejaculation?
Since the G-Spot encompasses the Skene’s glands and the
glands are caressed during G-Spot stimulation, fluid is often
released into the urethra as a result of G-Spot stimulation.
However, G-Spot stimulation is not the sole source of ejaculation.
Some women ejaculate with stimulation of the clitorisxiv xv.
Do all women ejaculate?
The evidence is inconclusive on whether all women have the
ability to ejaculate. If the presence of fructose is designed to play
an important role in reproduction, one might hypothesize that all
women should have the ability to ejaculate, barring those with
physical anomalies, removed Skene’s Glands, disease, or hereditary
disorders. However, in some studies researchers did not notice
expulsion of fluid during stimulation.
26
In the Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The Ultimate in Female
Ecstasy, author Leonardi states: “...a combination of physical
technique and psychological security were absolutely necessary
in order for a woman to have ejaculatory orgasms.” Many of the
accounts in Mr. Leonardi’s book indicate the need for a strong
emotional bond to be established prior to successful female ejaculationsxvi.
If this is true, it could explain why some laboratory
studies fail, whereas others (conducted in a more natural atmosphere)
can often succeed, especially those done by researchers
who willingly provide “in home” examination or testing.
(As demonstrated in the 10-step technique, we feel emotional
bonding is a key ingredient to success).
It has also been hypothesized that, because many woman are
reclined during intercourse or stimulation, the fluid is retrogradeejaculated
into the bladder and is later released during urination.
In The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality, the
authors state: “Some women may experience retrograde
ejaculation if the fluid shoots into the bladder rather than out the
urethra. xvii ”. This condition might be characterized by a
woman feeling a need to urinate after orgasm, but, when doing
so, only releasing a small amount of clear or milky fluid.
Along these lines, Cabello, author of Female Ejaculation,
Myth or Realityxviii, tested the hypothesis that all women may
ejaculate, but some may retrograde ejaculate and therefore might
be unaware of the ejaculation, since the fluid becomes mixed
with urine in the bladder and is later released during urination.
Of 212 completed and usable surveys we received in doing
research for this guide, 48% of women responding reported either
they did not ejaculate or were unsure if they had ejaculated. On
the opposite side of the gamut, 5% reported ejaculating before
orgasm and 47% reported ejaculating during G-Spot orgasm. Of
these 110 women who reported ejaculating, 101 reported the incident
was their first known ejaculation. Eight others stated they had
ejaculated in the past, while one woman informed us she commonly
ejaculates with stimulation of the breasts, clitoris, and vagina.
27
A 37-year-old (single) woman reported:
“The first time I slept with (name withheld), I thought I’d wet
the bed. It was very embarrassing for me because I really loved
him and wanted sex to be good for us. And it was good in ways
I’d never dreamed of. I’ve been having orgasms regularly since I
was 16 (years old) but nothing like this had ever happened. I’ve
slept with 7 different men and always considered my sex life as
‘good’ until this orgasm. Now I know what I was missing all
those years. This orgasm was very different and so much deeper
and better than the ones I’ve had before. (Name withheld) is a
definite keeper. . .”
Another woman reported:
“I didn’t know I could ejaculate. I’d heard of other women
ejaculating but had no idea that I could do it until my friend
applied your technique. It was quite an experience. . .”
Does the ejaculation always occur along with orgasm?
No.
In a study conducted by M. Zaviacic (et al.) in 1998xix, a
group of 10 women were studied who ejaculate through G-Spot
stimulation. Of the 10 women, they found that 2 participants ejaculated
within the first 1.5 minutes of stimulation, prior to orgasm.
Five other participants ejaculated after 4 to 8 minutes of G-Spot
stimulation (again prior to orgasm). And the three remaining participants
ejaculated with orgasm, after 10 to 15 minutes of G-Spot
stimulation.
How much fluid is ejaculated?
This is a controversial topic.
Most scientific studies gauge the average female ejaculation as
ranging between “a few drops to one-teaspoonful”— comparable
to the average volume of semen ejaculated by males. An example
of such appears in The G Spot and Other Discoveries About
Human Sexuality (recommended reading). The authors state: “In
28
the cases of female ejaculation observed by Whipple, Perry, and
their colleagues, only a few drops to about a quarter of a teaspoon
were usually expelledxx.”
On the opposite side of the spectrum, we have received reports
of women “drenching the bed” or producing “copious amounts”
of fluid. One man had this to say:
“She left a wet circle about a foot in diameter. We were both
amazed at how large the spot was. The sheets were saturated.
There was no foul odor. No noticeable odor in fact. But the bed
was too drenched to allow comfortable sleep.”
Another man said:
“Sometimes it just trickles out of her and sometimes it gushes
and leaves a big wet spot. It’s great if she’s on top because having
that warm liquid flow down over my testicles makes me [ejaculate]
almost instantly. We don’t mind changing the sheets afterwards.
It’s worth it.”
Another stated:
“This milky liquid squirted out of her and splattered between
her knees. It left a two-foot long wet streak on the sheets.”
And:
“She normally ejaculates between one-half cup to one cup.
But the first time [she ejaculated] it was more, maybe a cup-anda-
half.”
And:
“About a week after we started using your technique, we
bought a plastic mattress liner for our bed. You might want to
recommend this to other people, along with buying a couple of
extra sets of sheets. Otherwise, the center of the bed gets too wet
after a couple nights of fun.”
And:
“She literally drenched the bed. When it comes to volume,
women put men to shame.”
29
A woman stated:
“I don’t mind washing the wet bedclothes every day. This
orgasm is worth it.”
In Tom Leonardi’s Secrets of Sensual Lovemaking, The
Ultimate in Female Ecstasy, several of the interview subjects
indicated “large amounts of the fluid”. On page 114, one such
subject stated: “And the insides of her thighs were dripping wet. . .”
Another said: “She came and she squirted. It hit me in the arm.
It hit my arm and I’m not sure where the rest of it went. . . . from
my forearm all the way up near my elbow.”
In describing the event, Leonardi states on page 57: “At the
very least, her hot liquid will quickly seep out of her, running
down her buttocks and off her body. But most likely, the liquid
will physically fly from her vagina—2, 4, 8, even 12 or more inches
from her.”
The “larger volume” conjecture might also be supported by a
custom called kachapati, which was practiced by the Batoro tribe
of Uganda, Africa. According to a personal communication from
anthropologist Phil Kilbratenxxi, the kachapati was a rite of passage
for young women emerging from puberty into womanhood.
Before these young women were eligible for marriage, the older
women of the village taught them how to ejaculate. The term
kachapati literally means to “spray the walls”. One might conclude,
in order to “spray the walls”, a significant amount of fluid would
need to be expelled.
So how is it that skilled researchers report only a “teaspoonful”
or less while many people claim it’s more?
Considering that most female ejaculations occur in dimly lit or
near-dark conditions—and are coupled with the excitement of
lovemaking (and perhaps the novelty of a first-time event)—we
feel that some estimates of the fluid amount are exaggerated or
over-estimated. In example, if you take a teaspoon of water and
dump it onto a flat non-absorbent surface, the water will form a
circle approximately 3.5 inches in diameter. If you repeat the
30
same experiment, but cover the hard surface with an absorbent
piece of material, (such as a cotton bed sheet), the teaspoon of
water will soak outward and form a circle 8 inches in diameter.
Since many mattresses are treated with stain-resistant protections
such as ScotchGuard™ and are covered with heavy upholstery that
resists permeation, the bed linens often absorb (and diffuse) the
bulk of the liquid. Also, because air can travel through the weave
of many bed linens, the heat quickly dissipates and causes the
area to feel cool and saturated.
Some researchers feel that Urinary Stress Incontinence (USI)
may also play a role, as urine is sometimes released “as” or
“along with” ejaculate, thus increasing the volume. However,
other researchers argue against this, claiming that—because it is
physiologically impossible for a man to urinate at the moment of
orgasm—the same likely holds true for women. (This latter argument
does not account for women ejaculating urine prior to
orgasm).
What’s it all mean?
While the jury is still out on certain aspects of female ejaculation,
advancing research has played a valuable role in the advancement
and betterment of women’s health. In the past, many women who
described “ejaculations” to their physicians were misdiagnosed
with USI and were often directed to undergo “corrective surgery”
for the “problem”. Beyond the embarrassment brought on by their
“shameful condition”, some women faced the wrath of a spouse
who believed his wife urinated on him during intercourse! As
one can see, the plight of these women was unpleasant.
Fortunately, due to groundbreaking research by Addiego,
Holoman, Komisaruk, Molcan, Perry, Whipple, Zaviacic,
Zaviaciova, and other great researchers, acceptance of female
ejaculation is coming about.
31
Some Healthy Considerations
Most medical doctors agree that the the****utic values of intercourse
far outweigh the risks, provided “safer sex” practices are
followed. During intercourse, muscles can receive exercise. Stress,
stored in the muscle tissue, is released from the body. In addition,
the physical stimulation and the movement during both foreplay
and intercourse force the heart to beat faster and breathing to
increase. This causes oxygen-enriched blood to be spread throughout
the body, replenishing cells and feeding muscles.
We’ve all likely heard the office water-fountain jokes that “soand-
so must have gotten lucky last night” because he or she
seems to glow and is unusually cheerful. These statements may
have medical validity since, like all forms of exercise, the release
of stress can brighten our disposition and help make the world
less gloomy and foreboding.
When engaging in intercourse, readers are urged to practice
“safer sex”. If you’re not familiar with “safer sex” practices, there
are a host of informative books available, such as: Safe
Encounters: How Women Can Say Yes to Pleasure and No to
Unsafe Sex (B. Whipple and G. Ogden, McGraw Hill, 1989) or
Safe Sex in a Dangerous World (A.Ulene, Vintage Books, 1987).
Your family physician is also a good learning source. Many
physicians have educational pamphlets available or can provide
information on sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and their
avoidance.
Contrary to popular belief, the risk of heart attack occurring
during sexual activity is very low. In a study performed with
patients who have suffered heart problemsxxii, only .09% cited
sexual activity as the triggering factor. Sexual orgasm has been
compared to “about the same energy required for climbing two
flights of stairs. . . or walking on a treadmill at 3 to 4 miles per
hour”xxiii. Compared to many other activities, the risk is low.
32
If you have a history of heart-related illnesses or other medical
condition (such as blood pressure or blood sugar irregularities),
you should check with your physician to learn safe guidelines.
Also, know your partner’s health. It’s a wise practice to discuss
his/her health status—any sexual diseases and any other health
concerns—before engaging in intercourse.
33
A Brief History of the G-Spot
There’s an adage that states: “To know where you’re going,
it’s helpful to know where you’ve been.” This statement holds
true with the G-Spot. By cultivating a deeper knowledge and
understanding of the G-Spot’s history, you increase your odds for
success using our ten-step technique.
We owe a great debt to the visionaries of our world. Not only
to those who live today, but to those who have come and gone.
Throughout time, gallant individuals have seen beyond common
perceptions and silently shouldered the duty of discovering truth.
In many cases, after enduring countless hours of research to validate
their cause, these selfless individuals stepped forth buoyantly to
declare their findings—only to have their hopes bludgeoned by
ridiculing peers.
Christopher Columbus might serve as a fitting example. At
age 14, he became a sailor. For many years, he studied known
maps of the world; likely doubting the world was “flat” as was
commonly believed. Later, as his theories of a “round world”
manifested themselves, he conferred with European scholars
(who also believed the world was round). Gaining conviction, he
set forth to prove his theory. Yet when he announced plans to sail
to the East Indies by crossing the Atlantic toward the west, he
was persecuted by “flat thinking” peers.
As we all know, Columbus sailed and prevailed. His ship did
not fall off the edge of a flat Earth and into oblivion. And
although he never reached his original destination, he discovered
something greater in the process—a bold new uncharted world.
Like most great discoveries, the G-Spot and the reality of
female ejaculation both follow a similar history. Throughout history,
brave and dutiful visionaries have arisen time-after-time to confirm
the existence of this uncharted sexual continent, often bearing the
ridicule of skeptical peers in the process. Aristotle may be one of
34
the earliest recorded examples by observing that women expel
fluid during orgasm. In the s*******nth century, a Dutch
anatomist Regnier de Graaf described a “female ‘prostatae’ or
corpus glandulosum” which expulsed fluid, enhanced libido, and
caused pleasure. In his findings, he stated: “The function of the
‘prostatae’ is to generate pituitoserous juice which makes women
more libidinous. . .” and “the discharge from the female
‘prostatae’ causes as much pleasure as does that from the male
‘prostatae’.xxiv ”
Long after Regnier de Graaf’s work, Alexander Skene, M. D.,
George Caldwell, M. D. , John W. Huffman, M. D., Samuel
Berkow, M. D., and several others individually studied these
glands and/or female ejaculations and released their own findings.
At the end of World War II, a German gynecologist and obstetrician
named Ernst Gräfenberg collaborated with an American
gynecologist and obstetrician by the name of Robert L.
Dickinson, M. D. In 1950, Gräfenburg wrote about “...an erotic
zone could always be demonstrated on the anterior wall of the
vagina along the course of the urethra...xxv”. According to the
findings, this erogenous zone swelled when stimulated and
“swells out greatly at the end of orgasm.”
In the 1970’s, while treating women suffering from Urinary
Stress Incontinence (USI), John D. Perry, Ph.D, and Beverly
Whipple, R. N., Ph.D, made an important discovery that led them
to the G-Spot. Typically, women suffering from USI have weak
or atrophied pelvic muscles. The strength of these muscles can be
measured through biofeedback and can be strengthened by teaching
women Kegel exercises (a technique for strengthening the
Pubococcygeus or “PC” muscle). However, Perry and Whipple
discovered that some of the women who supposedly suffered
from USI had very strong pelvic muscles. Furthermore, these
same women with strong pelvic muscles often stated the only
time they (accidentally) lost fluid through their urethra was
during intercourse.
Much like Columbus’s epic journey, setting forth for the
Indies and discovering America instead, Dr. Perry and Dr.
35
Whipple discovered their own land of milk and honey, which they
aptly named “The Gräfenburg Spot” in honor of Dr. Ernst
Gräfenburg’s early research.
At the 1980 national meeting of the American Association of
Sex Educators, Counselors and Ther****ts, and the 1980 international
meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex,
Perry and Whipple presented their findings about the G-Spot and
Female Ejaculation. Later, in 1982, along with Alice Kahn Ladas,
they published a book explaining The Gräfenburg Spot, Female
Ejaculation, the Importance of Healthy Pelvic Muscles, and New
Understandings of the Human Orgasm. This popular long-standing
book is titled The G Spot and Other Discoveries About Human
Sexuality and is still in print as of this writing.
Since the release of The G Spot and Other Discoveries About
Human Sexuality, more has been learned about the G-Spot and
female ejaculations. As each new doorway to knowledge is
unlocked and opened, we find yet more another doorway awaiting.
The more we learn, the more mysteries await us. History unfolds
while no one is watching.
36
The Technique
Let’s get started!
Okay. Now that you know a little about the G-Spot, you’re
probably wondering how you can test the G-Spot technique
first-hand.
Let me commend you if you’ve read through this far and
haven’t skipped ahead. One of the most frequent complaints
women voice about poor lovers is having a partner with “vaginal
objective”. This “vaginal marksman” wants to kiss once or twice,
perhaps then fondle the breasts, then skip any other delays and
move right toward the clitoris or vagina. If you’ve taken the time
to read this far, you’re likely not a “Vaginal Marksman”. (They
are now reading “step 10” and will have to back up, re-read, and
likely will never get this straight. A year from now they’ll be the
ones responsible for rumors that the G-Spot doesn’t exist). You,
on the other hand, will find the truth since you have displayed the
two most important attributes to actually being successful in helping
your lover achieve a G-Spot orgasm. These are: patience and
self-control.
Stop for a moment and look at the big picture in logical terms:
if the G-Spot orgasm were something easy to achieve and could
be stumbled upon, nearly every woman on the planet would know
what it is and how to do it. Right? Most would have found this
spot (as they do their clitoris, during exploratory masturbation), and
would be enjoying its pleasures. But as we know, nothing could
be further from the truth. Even in this day and age, the G-Spot is still
arcane, obscure, misunderstood, and a topic of curiosity.
As evidence of this, we will look at an internet educational
service called KISISS (Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information
Service for Students). KISISS allows Indiana University students
to ask questions about sex in an anonymous fashion. After each
37
question is answered, both the question and answer are posted for
other site users to read. Interestingly enough, at the time of this
writing, the #1 most frequently read question is: “What is the GSpot
and Where Can I Find it?xxvi” . The sheer fact that college
university students (and visitors) read this question more than any
other question lends us insight. Clearly, it shows that the G-Spot
is still a mystery.
Like dark ships passing on a night sea, most people repeatedly
overlook the G-Spot. As many women pass through life, they
mature, explore their own bodies, masturbate, have intercourse,
bear c***dren, and often never find their own G-Spot. All the
same time, the partners who shared in the lovemaking have also
overlooked this special spot.
Beyond this, up until two decades ago, many of the very doctors
who examine women daily (gynecologists and obstetricians)
were unsure of the G-Spot’s existence.
In the defense of these physicians, we should consider that (1)
the G-Spot cannot be seen without dissection of the anterior vagina
wall and (2) it is virtually unnoticeable until stimulated. Since
gynecologists and obstetricians are not in the practice of stimulating
their patients, it stands to reason they would fail to notice the spot.
With all this in mind, if you truly want to find the elusive G-Spot
and help your partner feel the absolute best orgasm she’s ever
felt—a spasming, screaming-and-thrashing-in-ecstasy G-Spot
orgasm—you’ll need to have patience and self-control.
Follow the 10 Steps implicitly. After you learn and become
familiar with the G-Spot orgasm, you’ll be able to use the technique
very quickly and effectively to help your lover produce results
much of the time. But like any worthwhile endeavor, the technique
takes practice. The more you do it, the quicker you’ll learn to
identify certain “signs” given by the female body that allow you
to move on to the next step of the process.
The same is true of your partner. If you have a steady sex partner,
after she loses her G-Spot virginity she will also learn to read
her body signs and will be able to hit the G-Spot climax sooner,
and in a wide variety of positions.
38
Step 1
Priming
Although it’s possible to help a woman achieve a G-Spot
orgasm on the first sexual encounter, the surest bet is with steady
partners who are familiar and comfortable together. This is
because of emotional qualities. In order to fully let go, many
women need to feel safe, loved, and secure with their partners’
sexual prowess and understanding.
Recommendation number one: As was said earlier, it’s wise
not to mention the G-Spot orgasm to your partner. If you tell her
you want to “try something new” you’ll be fostering expectations
in her that may be counter-productive when you actually get
down to lovemaking. She’ll feel the need to “perform” without
understanding the details. Therefore, she will be apprehensive and
edgy—when it’s helpful to be exactly the opposite: relaxed and
comfortable.
Instead of telling your lover about your covert plan, set up the
opportunity to “show” her. Sit down with your lover and tell her
that you’d love to take her out for dinner or a movie, then return
home and spend the evening making slow passionate love. Be
sure to mention the second part of this plan so your lover doesn’t
get the wrong impression—that the two of you are going to spend
the evening out together. This will do two things for you. One,
your lover will appreciate your candor and the romance of the
gesture; two, it will prime her for lovemaking. If your relationship
is fair or better, she’ll probably be thinking about the lovemaking
long before you order supper or choose a movie.
Beyond this preparation, be sure to groom yourself prior to
your date. Because much of this technique involves stimulation of
the vagina, be sure your fingernails are short, clean, and smooth
to avoid damaging the soft tissues of her body. Wear your favorite
cologne. Look and feel your best.
39
Step 2
Foreplay
After you wine and dine her, talk about old times and those to
come, perhaps give her flowers, brush the spinach out of your
teeth from dinner, maybe slow dance in the living room and eventually
work your way to the bedroom, be sure to remind her of
how beautiful she is and how much you enjoy being with her.
Boost the intimacy. Talk to her. Remember that for many women,
foreplay is mainly emotional. Spend lots of time on the emotional
bonding. Strengthen your relationship and bond with her.
40
Step 3
More Foreplay
Most likely, with a few more kisses, some light petting, and
additional compliments, the two of you will be stripping each
other as if your clothes are on fire—falling into the bed together
as if it were the only pool of water in the world. And this is when
you need to gently take control. If this is your steady partner and
you’ve primed her the week before your “date”, she’ll likely be
wet and ready to fall into your standard lovemaking. Seize control
by telling her you want to “take it slow” this time. Remind her
that you want to make slow love to her—that you want to spend
some time pleasing and savoring her and making her feel loved.
She’ll love you for that. Ask her to lie back and make herself
comfortable. Remind her that you love her and remind her how
beautiful you think she is. If she has beautiful breasts, tell her so.
If it’s her eyes, her long legs, or her full sensual lips that you like,
tell her so. Praise is a key element within any relationship. It
costs nothing to give but can be priceless when received. It helps
us maintain a healthy image and self-worth while making us feel
respected, desirable, and loved. If you love your partner, praise
her. Tell her what you love about her; not just her physical beauties,
but her emotional qualities, skills, or whatever it is you truly admire.
By doing this, you’re promoting a deep sense of intimacy and
comfort while keeping her aroused. Kiss her. Nibble on her lips.
Kiss her throat, the lobe of her ears, her eyelids—all of which are
very erotic and arousing spots for the majority of women.
In the case of most women, by the time you’ve spent a few
minutes kissing all about her face, nibbling the lips, kissing the
eyelids, perhaps blowing in her ear, and dragging your lips over
her neck and down to her shoulders, you’ll probably notice her
beginning to inch upward or pressing your face toward her
breasts. . . arching her back. If she’s forward, she may seek you
41
out with her hand or guide your hand to her breast. She may even
tell you she wants you—but don’t sell off the million-dollar
orgasm that cheaply. A critical element here is keeping all your
attention, physical and emotional, focused at breast level or above.
42
Step 4
Teasing
So here you are, in bed together, probably naked by this point,
very aroused and ready. You’ve (both) been thinking about this
moment ever since you first mentioned the evening out. This is
the part where both patience and self-control are beginning to
come into play—don’t sell yourself short and give in!
Lavish her with kisses. If she enjoys having her neck kissed,
by all means oblige. If she enjoys breast stimulation, nuzzle and
fondle and tease her breasts. At this point you can “bend” the rule
of focusing all attention at the breast level (and above) by rubbing
her stomach. This is an important step in the arousal process. The
purpose of this step is to increase blood flow in the pelvic area.
Work your hand back and forth across her stomach and down her
abdomen very slowly. You don’t want her to think you’re targeting
the vulva, so move slowly and randomly until you’ve reached the
area just above the pubic hairline. Absolutely DON’T drop your
hand any lower—even if she tries to move it there—even if she
tells you she wants you and starts pulling you toward her.
The reason you don’t want to touch any lower than the
abdomen (yet) is because it breaks the bond you’re working to
build. Some women have experienced the “vagina marksman”
and may be emotionally turned off when interest is transferred to
the vagina (if done too soon). When this occurs, it often signifies
the “end” of the bonding process and the “beginning” of sex. It
can flick as quickly as a light switch. The mist of enchantment lifts.
Continue to nuzzle her breasts, kiss her, nibble at her neck, or
whatever shows your love. Your goal is to continue increasing the
emotional bond between you, and she will u*********sly give
you signs as the strength of the bond deepens. Remember—
you’re about to provide the stimulus for an orgasm that is unlike
anything she’s ever felt. In order to reach it, she’ll be slowly
transferring her trust to you. She’ll need to feel cherished, safe,
and adored in order to do so without holding back.
43
As you nuzzle at her breasts, kiss her neck, nibble her ears, or
whatever it is that turns her on, you are watching for two “go
ahead” signs before moving to step five. The first is the most
important. You must continue stimulation until she is virtually
smashing your head into her chest, breathing heavily, tugging at
you as if she’s trying to pull you inside her. Once you become
aware of this, start watching (or sensing) for the second sign:
movements in her hips. The hips never lie. . . and you want her
thrusting them upward. If she’s not thrusting, arching, or twisting
her hips, she’s not ready. So continue nuzzling and sucking at her
breasts or otherwise stimulating her until her hips move. If need
be, move your hand a little lower on her abdomen to brush the
upper edge of the pubic hair as you rub. Before long, both of
these signs will come.
44
Step 5
The “Go Ahead” Sign
Once you have the two “go ahead” signs of arching hips and
tugging, absolutely don’t break contact with her breasts, chest or
face. Keep your head and face at chest level or above. This gives
the unspoken message that “you’re still with her”—not merely
moving on to focus on her vagina and get your next lay.
With the h