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PENPAL LETTERS BY JENNIFER SUE ************************************ LETTER #1 September 12, 199- Dear Susie; My name is Jennifer Sue. My Mommy told me to write you because we may share similar interests and might have a lot in common. For your sake... I hope that isn't true! I'm a very well-behaved twelve year old who is NEVER allowed to wear pants, not even shorts! Not only that, but every bit of my clothing is decorated with lace and/or ribbons. Mommy insists that I be a sweet, adorable prissy girl at all times. Mommy insists that I spend at least two hours a day playing with my dolls, even after getting home from Parochial School, piano lessons, and ballet lessons! On non-school days I must spend at least eight hours playing with my dollies! Oh how I long for the days when I was free to dress and to come and go as I pleased. It seems as if that freedom was ages ago, almost as if it were a dream instead of reality. In fact, it's only been since July! I really miss riding my dirt bike. That's what mommy used to determine how much time I now spend with my dollies! Back then I spent about two hours each day after school and about eight hours on non-school days riding my dirt bike and raising hell. I'd be willing to bet that you'll never guess what caused this drastic turnabout, only Mommy doesn't allow me to bet anymore. It happened because of French Fries! Sounds weird, huh? Well, it's the truth! I never lie... anymore... Mommy is making SURE that I never lie again! But can you believe that French Fries caused this entire mess? I NEVER, EVER, want to see French Fries again! I guess I should explain what happened. You see, Mommy is quite well off. My grandfather, her daddy, left her his real estate/insurance business. Since Mommy likes to be free to take in shows and work for charities and such, she doesn't get too involved in the day to day operation of the business. She leaves that to Daddy. Daddy had nothing of his own so Mommy had him sign one of those pre-nuptial things just to make sure he wasn't after her money. Mommy is a real B----! (I'm not allowed to use bad words anymore...soap tastes simply horrid! I won't get into trouble for hinting about this since Mommy readily admits it's true.) Anyway, Daddy apparently became interested in a woman from the office and began an affair. Mommy became suspicious and one night while we were sitting at the supper table she calmly accused him of running around and neglecting me! Dad almost choked on his food! She told him that without a father's guidance, I was getting into trouble and becoming wild. Naturally Dad started to protest but Mommy curtly told him to shut up, dump the broad, and spend more time being a good father! Well, that weekend Daddy took me to the season opener baseball game in Philadelphia, about an hour away, just to shut Mommy up. To put it mildly the trip was a fiasco. Daddy wanted to be with his girlfriend and I didn't want to be held on such a tight rein. The result was that we fought like cats and dogs. We were both quite frustrated. However, the outing did give Daddy an idea. He told Mommy we were going to make an entire day of our next trip. I was apprehensive, but he told me to shut up, wait and give it another shot. With Mommy backing him, I had no choice but to agree. The one thing I'd learned was to NEVER cross Mommy! So the next Saturday we left home for the all day outing. I'll admit I was quite surprised when we picked up Dad's girlfriend! She was gorgeous, young, wild, and game for anything. I liked her immediately. As we drove to Philadelphia, Dad explained his plan. First he'd drop me at the stadium for the ball game, then afterwards I'd take a taxi to a movie where he'd pick me up. I knew what he and his girlfriend were going to do! After all, I'd just turned eleven! I knew I had Daddy! If I told Mommy what Dad planned, his butt would be hers! I smiled and leaned back in the seat, folding my arms behind my head. Calmly I told them I'd cooperate with his scheme if she'd give me a blow job while we traveled and Daddy gave me 75 bucks for mad money! (If you haven't guessed by now, I should tell you that I'm a boy... at least physically.) Naturally Dad was P.O.'d, but the girl laughed. She reached over and squeezed Dad's crotch and told him that I was a chip off the old block. That made him laugh! Dad pulled over to the side of the road and she joined me in the back seat to take care of her part of the deal. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say it was my first time and it was great! After that, every home game we'd go to Philly. I had a ball... in more ways than one! So did Dad and his girl. In May I asked for a dirt bike. As I expected Mommy immediately said no, and as usual Dad had to agree. But I had a plan! Later when I was alone with Dad I smiled and reminded him that I was a chip off the old block. He ruffled my hair and laughed... until I told him that unless I got the dirt bike, I'd have to tell Mommy ALL about our trips to the ball games. Needless to say, I got the dirt bike and Mommy was furious! Daddy told her that she told him to spend time with me to straighten me out, and a dirt bike would give me an outlet for my aggression and give me some responsibility. Then he told her that boys had to be boys, that I was a boy, and that she should expect me to be a boy! At the time I thought it was the greatest thing I'd ever heard. Now I know it helped put me in dresses! I remember that fatal day in the first week of July as if it happened yesterday! I was in the stadium, and as had become my habit I bought a soda and soft pretzel before heading for my seat just before the game began. You know how crowded it gets with people heading to their seats. We were heading down the steps when the klutz in front of me dropped his French fries... only I didn't notice. Do you know that French fries are really greasy and slippery? I didn't, but I do now! The last thing I remember was somersaulting down the concrete stairs surrounded by scattering French fries, pretzel, and soda, knocking other people into the seats, and hearing screams and curses! I woke up in the infirmary, blood soaked. They asked where my parent was since no one came to claim me. I hurt bad, my head was throbbing from the big bump and gash I received when I landed, plus at least two dozen other bruises and scrapes. I was real scared when they told me I couldn't be treated without parental consent. I had no idea where Daddy was. I panicked and gave them Mommy's phone number. To make a long story short, she rushed to Philly. I was patched up, but not before she'd weaseled the entire story of what Daddy and I were doing, including my little trysts in the back seat of the car. I never saw Mommy so mad! I knew I was going to be severely punished, so I decided to cooperate as much as possible in the hope that she'd go a bit easier on me and concentrate on Dad. I guess you could say I was a coward, I prefer to think of it as cutting my losses. I went to our meeting spot as planned. Mommy and a policeman hid inside the building. I was standing on the corner waiting nervously when Dad pulled up. Naturally he saw the bandages and bruises. He and his girlfriend jumped out of the car and asked what in the h--- happened and how was he going to explain my injuries to Mommy. I couldn't answer. It was at that point that Mommy came out to confront Dad. You should have seen his face when he saw her coming towards him as he stood there with his arm about his girlfriend! Then he saw the policeman following her. The s--- really hit the fan! Dad and his girlfriend were arrested and charged with negligence, child abuse, and corrupting a minor. Mommy had connections with the legal system through a girlfriend who is a judge. Bail was not allowed for either. Since they were caught red-handed, they had little choice but to plead guilty. The girlfriend was sentenced to three years in jail. Daddy was never sentenced, the case is on indefinite hold... as long as Daddy does exactly what Mommy tells him to do. Now Daddy is virtually Mommy's slave. After the hearings, the judge brought Mommy and I into her chambers. She told me I was devious and deceitful for extorting sex from Dad's girlfriend and the dirt bike from Dad, not to mention that I was lying for Dad. At first I was surprised when Mommy defended me by saying that I was just being a boy... like Daddy had told her when he explained why he got me the dirt bike. Then she became real cold and furious. Mommy looked straight at me and said she didn't want a son who lied and did all the bad things that boys do. The judge asked Mommy if I was too difficult to control. Mommy said yes. I was shocked and terrified as the judge ruled that since Mommy admitted that she couldn't handle me I should become a ward of the State. Juvenile services was awarded custody of me since the judge claimed I was an incorrigible boy. I wound up in a terrible foster home that specialized in handling problem boys. I quickly discovered that I wasn't as tough as I thought I was. The next two weeks were sheer hell! Then I was brought back before the judge for a re-evaluation. Even though I promised to be a good boy and begged and pleaded for Mommy to give me another chance. When the judge asked Mommy if she'd take me back she refused to accept me. I was near tears and dropped down on my knees and begged Mommy to take me home. You might think me naive, but when the judge came to my aid, I was thankful. The judge told Mommy that she felt I'd learned my lesson and asked if there was any way she'd take me back. Mommy looked me right in the eye and said she'd take me back if I'd promise to do EXACTLY as she told me to do. I was so desperate to get out of the horrid foster home that I promised to do whatever she wanted. I really didn't think anything was wrong when the judge made my promise an official act of the court making it legally binding. The judge warned me that if I mess up and do not keep my promise to do whatever my mother said, it's off to reform school for me! I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that I'd leapt out of the frying pan into the fire. There wasn't time for me to worry, but did things change once everything was settled! It was only after the paperwork was signed, sealed, and entered into the official records that I discovered Mommy would only take me back if I were her daughter instead of her son! I realized they'd had everything arranged in advance since they had even altered birth certificate to show I was born a girl! My name was changed from James Samuel to Jennifer Sue. Of course I protested. I told them they couldn't do this to me. I told them I'm a boy, B-O-Y, boy, but that didn't seem to matter to Mommy or the judge. They just laughed. Then the judge looked at me and asked how I'd like to go to reform school, to be put in with all the toughs bearing the name Jennifer Sue. I just shivered and shut up real quick! Even though I don't want to, I'm now legally a girl! Satin and lace, ribbons and bows are my life. Now instead of the sheer hell of the foster home, it's sheer lingerie! What a difference! This entire situation is really strange. I don't really understand what's happening to me, but maybe you can at least appreciate my confusion. At first I absolutely hated all the girly junk, but after my first week in dresses I sort of started to like it. Lately I find that I'm not comfortable unless I'm dressed like a perfect angel. This whole thing is really scary. Actually, it wasn't too bad having to dress up like a girl at home for the summer. No one saw me. Mom was relentless in making sure I moved, sat, ate, played, and talked just like a prissy girl. I figured that when school started, I'd be allowed to become a boy again. WRONG! At least she didn't make me go back to my old school. I think I'd have died if she had! I was enrolled in parochial school... as Jennifer Sue. I was petrified that first day, but Mom simply told me to behave, move, and talk like a girl just as she had taught me during the summer and no one would know that I was really a boy. It makes me angry to admit that she was right. No one has the slightest idea that I'm not the prissy girl I appear to be. It's scary, but I have no choice but to be a girl! What's even scarier is the tiny purple pills Mommy has me take every day. The doctor who prescribed them says they're necessary for me to grow up like a normal girl. I'm afraid I know what they are doing to me. I'd rather not think about it, but it's difficult no to do so. Lately, my penis doesn't want to work and I could swear it's shrinking. My balls have slipped up inside my body too. But it's like Mommy told me when I began to cry about the changes, "Your panties fit better now." Some consolation, huh? My training bras are getting tighter too. I think my boobs... er breasts... are growing! When I relax in my daily lilac scented bubblebath and the foam washes over my nipples they really tingle and make me feel warm and mushy all over, especially when I rub them. Heck, I've only been taking the pills for seven weeks! How much will I change after taking the pills for a couple of months? Last night Mommy caught me rubbing my breasts through my pink satin babydoll nightie when she came to tuck me into bed. I was scared that she'd be mad but she smiled and said it was all right and that I should enjoy myself! When she said most girls my age like to play with their breasts, I turned beet red. I'm not sure I like doing what's normal for girls my age... yet I can't seem to help myself. It's really frustrating! Why just last week after checking my budding bosom during my monthly check-up the doctor laughed and said I'm starting to look like a normal seventh grade girl! Mommy was thrilled by the that revelation but she became angry when I started to cry. I've been begging her to let me be a boy again. I keep promising I'd never, ever do anything mean and nasty, and would be polite at all times. She just laughs and says that's the way I behave now so why should she change me. Yeah... I mean... what can I do? If this keeps up, I soon won't be able to go back to being a boy. I was thinking about all the changes last night after Mommy left my bedroom. I feel more relaxed and seem to think better while fondling my breasts. I was peering out through my lace curtains at the full moon pondering about all that has happened. Suddenly I realized I couldn't remember what it felt like to wear pants! No matter how hard I tried, all I could remember feeling about my legs were skirts! That was the first time that I realized that I'm in BIG trouble. I spent most of the night thinking about how Mommy is making me be a girl. The more girlish I behave, the happier she is. The happier she is, the better she treats me, I guess you could say she pampers me. I like being pampered and hate being punished, so I act like a girl. Only the more I willingly act like a girl, the less I'm acting! If I can't stop this vicious circle soon, it'll be too late! I'll become a girl! Of course I do rebel if things go too far, after all, I'm not a sissy! Somehow I have to convince Mommy to let me go back to being a boy. I know she'll never do it unless it's her idea. Maybe if I can convince her that I like being a girl, and then if I do something wrong as a girl, she'll punish me by making me be a boy! I know it sounds weird, but it's the only way I can see that might possibly work! What I'm thinking is if I stop fighting being a girl and cooperate to the point of going too far... like getting myself a boyfriend... that would scare her into letting me go back to being a boy! Today I checked out the guys in my class at school. After just a week of school I can already tell that most are just macho jerks always showing off and strutting about like dorky peacocks... I hate to admit it but it's a lot like I used to do. I can understand why Mommy didn't want me as he son since I behaved like them! Anyway, I'm going to avoid them, I KNOW what they want from girls! There is this one guy who's a real nerd, but he's kind of cute. I don't think it'd be too difficult to flirt with him until he'd ask me out. I'm sure I could control him... you know... not let him do anything I don't want to do... you know... like going too far. If we make out a bit... like if I come home from a movie with a hickey or something... Mommy will realize things have gone too far and that she has to let me return to being a boy! The only thing that worries me about this plan is that every girl thing I've tried I found out I liked! What'll I do if that happens with dating boys? Yuck! Yet I'm real scared that might happen! After all, I get all hot, warm, and gushy inside when I play with my pert breasts... how will it feel if a boy touches them? I remember how good it felt to play with my penis... when it still worked... and how much better it felt when Dad's girlfriend played with it. It was so much better when someone else does it! I'm afraid it might be the same with someone playing with my breasts. But I have to give it a try... it's my only hope. Well, I guess I've burdened you enough with my problems. I hope you understand, or at least can sympathize with what I'm going through. Maybe what we can do is set up a regular correspondence between ourselves and any other boy who is going through the same thing. If we feel free to tell each other our problems, we'd feel better, knowing we aren't alone. I know it helps to unburden yourself. Goodbye; Hoping to be your petticoated friend; Jennifer Sue ************************************ LETTER #2 October 8, 199- Dear Susie; I'm writing again because I need someone we can talk to so we can unburden our worries and concerns. I now have several girlfriends at school, but they don't have the slightest clue that I'm not the prissy miss I appear to be! I could never tell them my secret! I need someone like you who's going through the same things! I'm also willing to listen to your problems and concerns as a true friend should. Any story about a boy being turned into a little girl is hard to believe! For such a thing to happen is simply horrid! I know EXACTLY how they feel! At least I now know that I'm not the only boy to suffer the same fate! I've found it's not too bad to be taken out in public dressed as a prissy girl. In fact, at times it's even fun! I hate to admit it, but the more I do it, the easier it becomes and the happier I am. That's a bit scary when you think about it since it means I'm becoming accustomed to being a girl! But it would be simply devastating to be taken out in public dressed and looking like a pretty girl, doing your best to play the part so that no one will discover the humiliating truth only to bump into one of your old buddies and have him recognize you! I remember the time it happened to me! Only it was just one old buddy, it was the whole gang! I'd only been in skirts a ten weeks. Like I said in my last letter, I was thankful Mother enrolled me in parochial school instead of sending me back to my old school. I think I'd have died if that had happened! I quickly discovered that if I behaved like a prissy girl, no one would know I was a boy! I guess I was getting a bit over-confident in my ability to pass myself off as a girl. Mommy gently chided me for becoming a spoiled little girl. I didn't realize she was so determined to crush every bit of my boyishness, so I just gave her a cute pixie like smile. She always likes them! Anyway, Mother announced that I had been doing quite well in behaving in the manner she wanted, so she decided to give me a reward by taking me to see a game of the local minor league baseball team. While I wasn't thrilled about going to see a baseball game after what had happened at the last game I attended, I was eager to do anything that seemed to even remotely involve masculine interests. Naturally, I was pleased to get this respite from little girlhood. Even though I understood I'd have to appear at the game wearing a cute blouse and jumper while playing the role mother had designed for me, I looked forward to attending! I can't prove it, but I think Mother might have planned the outing just to humble me because the night she took me to the ball game was LITTLE LEAGUE night! But since I was not allowed to read the sports pages, I had no idea the players of all the local Little League teams had been given free passes. Mother insisted we arrive early to avoid the crowds, and so we found great seats just behind first base. The first five rows were reserved, but at the time I was so excited about simply being there that I had no idea it was Little League night. All too soon the boys began to arrive. As they started to noisily charge into their seats, Mother excused herself to go to the rest rooms, leaving me all alone. Now after a month in school I was confident enough in my masquerade not to worry about being discovered, but to my horror, my former Little League teammates charged in and took the reserved seats directly in front of me! I almost wet my silky nylon panties when my best buddies sat in the seats right in front of me! Naturally they all noted the pretty girl in the short jumper sitting all alone behind them...ME! They began to whistle and hoot a couple of them even smiled and winked at me! I could feel myself blushing, bit my lip, lowered my eyes, and tried to ignore them. I knew I couldn't leave until Mother came back or I'd be in BIG trouble. When they saw I was trying to ignore them, they thought I was being a stuck up goody two shoes. They leered at me as they elbowed one another and made snide comments about the cute girl behind them. Even the coaches smiled at me! I wished the seats would collapse! Twice I caught the guys trying to peek under my short skirts! I made sure to keep my legs together and my hands folded on my lap! The game began before mother returned so their looks and remarks lessened as they began to watch the game. Even though it had only been three months since I'd played on the team, I looked so convincing as a girl that they didn't even suspect I was anything but a cute girl! By then my nerves were virtually shot. It took all my will power to keep from wetting my panties! The only saving grace was that they hadn't recognized me! At least they didn't until Mother returned! "Jennifer Sue," she loudly called out to me as she climbed to our seats past my former buddies. "You'll never guess! Tonight is Little League Night!" I'm sure mother knew the guys would all recognize her. It sure didn't take them long to figure things out! They knew I'd gotten into such big trouble with Mother that I'd been yanked from school and all activities. They also knew from past incidents that when I was being punished I was not allowed out of Mother's sight. Since I (as James, my boy self) was not with Mother, they immediately wondered where James was and who the cute girl she was talking to might be. As mother took the seat and placed her arm about my shaking shoulders the guys figured out that pretty Jennifer Sue, the girl with whom they'd been flirting, was their former buddy! I thought I'd die as the guys started to jeer, hoot, and holler! They became so noisy they actually disrupted the game! Of course, by then I was in tears. Mother took my hand and ushered me higher into the stands to get away from the jeers and catcalls as the bewildered coaches, who had no idea what was going on, tried to restore order. I clung to Mother and buried my teary face in her bosom as I shook with humiliation. Mother kept trying to soothe me by telling me was that I had nothing to fear and that it was a good thing I was no longer one of those crude, nasty, dumb boys! I'm sure Mother knew exactly what she was doing, because not only did she destroy any hopes that I harbored of someday returning to my buddies, but the entire team was booted out of the park for being so disruptive and rude to a pretty, innocent girl! I know the guys will never let me live down the fact that I'd been out in public as a girl; but the added stigma of them getting into big trouble over my sissy appearance placed an impassable gulf between us. I knew that I'd never again be accepted as a guy by any of my old gang. All bridges to my past as a boy had not only been washed out, they were totally destroyed! I hope you've had better experiences. You can be sure that I'll sympathize with any tales of woe that you've encountered during your odyssey into girlhood. I'm really looking forward to hearing from you! Goodbye for now; Your petticoated girlfriend in satin and lace; Jennifer Sue ************************************ LETTER #3 November 20, 199- Dear Susie; After the experience of your first day in a dress, it gets a little easier. I guess we learn that Mothers like ours do not bluff! If you're like me, you'll soon give up all hope of getting back to boyhood. As far as our mothers are concerned, we're on a one way street to girlhood. It's not a great thought, but after a while, once you stop fighting it, you actually do get used to being a girl. It's been only a few months for me, and already I have trouble even remembering what it felt like to wear jeans! I'm so accustomed to the tickling of my skirts and slips that I know I'd feel funny wearing pants. It's scary, but I find myself checking myself out every time I pass a mirror. I make sure the ribbons on my ponytail are set just right, I make sure my skirts are fluffed, and I even practice making cute faces! I really get angry with myself when I catch myself doing that! But Mommy makes sure that EVERYTHING I do is girlish. She told me that the reason she didn't send me back to my old school was that they were too lax in their discipline and probably won't let me wear dresses even though the court legally changed my birth certificate to show that I'm a girl. Instead I attend a very strict Parochial school where only a few Nuns know that I'm really a boy. I'd simply die if my classmates discovered I was really a boy! It makes it easier dressing as a girl when everyone thinks you're a girl. As far as they're concerned, I'm just one of the girls. Sure, the guys tease me, and a few have flipped up my skirts, but for the most part they're the jerks of the class who are always getting into trouble anyway... just like I did before... well, you know! It's really hard for a boy to successfully masquerade as a girl before people. But it's a lot worse when they know you're really a boy who is dressing as a girl! Especially if those people are ones with whom you had run-ins with when you were still a boy! That time at the ball game when my former buddies saw through my masquerade was just the first time Mommy humiliated me like that! The next time was even more embarrassing! I guess I'd better explain things a bit first. The Parochial school I attend has a really cute uniform. The first time I saw myself wearing it I was humiliated and scared since I looked like a real cute girl! I must have stared at my reflection in the mirror for ten minutes, not wanting to believe that I could look so much like a girl! Heck, at first I didn't even realize it was me! The girl I saw really aroused my male libido! Of course, I still had a male libido back then. What I saw was a demure and quite lovely pre-teen girl clad in the school's cute uniform. The sight of her gave me a boner right inside my satin panties! The snug sleeveless scoop necked hot pink velveteen jumper fit snugly about her pert torso while the gently flaring pleated skirt swung saucily about her smooth thighs two inches above her knees. The soft pale pink nylon blouse had a wide Peter Pan collar of delicate lace that lay atop the shoulder straps of the jumper. The flaring two inch cuffs of the blouse's long billowing sleeves were made of the same fragile lace. The pale pink nylon kneesox and T-strap hot pink patent leather shoes matched the colors of the jumper and blouse. Her bouncy blonde ponytail was secured by intertwined ribbons, one of pale pink and the other of hot pink, formed into a bow to complete the matching outfit and add to her fragile girlishness. I thought I'd die when I realized it was me! Suddenly my arousal seemed disgusting! But the more I tried to will my arousal away, the more intense it became. Mommy laughed and said I'd grow to love being a cute girl! That was just the beginning of my being turned into a provocative seventh grade girl. Once I began attending Parochial school, Mommy insisted I become a cheerleader! Me, a cheerleader! Six months before I had been a great quarter back for my midget football team! I'd liked the cheerleaders in their skimpy outfits, now I was to be one! To make matters worse, the cheerleading outfit is even sexier than the school uniform! I wanted to die when I first put it on. Of course, by then I'd been taking those weird little purple pills for two months so my training bra was quite filled with MY flesh! The cheerleading outfit was designed to make the wearer look girlishly ALLURING, even... if like me... the wearer wasn't a girl! The first time I scampered out onto the football field with the other cheerleaders the cheers and leers I received made me want to die! I felt obscenely exposed in the snug hot pink long sleeved stretch lace blouse since the light pink satin-lined bodice reveals yet enticingly veils every girlish curve. I, like the rest of the girls on the squad wore a loose fitting but alluring see-through white lace vest with a white satin back that adds to the barely hidden seductive mystery of the outfit. Hot pink lace trims our swirling light pink pleated satin mini-skirt which is held out by an exquisite white Chantilly lace petticoat layered for fullness. But the worst is the snug light pink satin panties that are teasingly revealed beneath the hot pink lace stretch nylon tights. All it does is show off our long shapely legs. When we do a routine, our hot pink and white saddle shoes adorn our fluttering, dancing feet to make us look childishly innocent. Completing the provocative outfit is a frothy hot pink lace and light pink satin ribbon hairbow which, on each of us, secures a high, bouncy ponytail at the back of our perky head. Naturally, we giggle incessantly. It's so humiliating for a boy! I was a with the cheerleaders when next Mommy decided to humiliate me before my old gang. The junior high football team from my new school came to my old school for a game. I wanted to stay home that day but Mommy wouldn't hear of it. She said no one would recognize me. When I persisted in begging off, she grew angry and said I was being a bad girl. I knew then I was really in for it. I had no choice but to scamper out onto the field with the rest of the cheerleading squad. Naturally, the guys hooted and hollered at us cheerleaders since our outfits are so sexy. But Mommy was right in that no one from my old school recognized me! The butterflies in my tummy faded after the first quarter, and I really got into the game. The game was lopsided. My new school trounced my old school. I was a bit saddened since I felt that if I had been the quarter back for my old school (As I'd planned to be before this entire mess began.) the game would have turned out differently. But I knew that was now an impossibility. The memories of the humiliation I suffered at the baseball game just a few weeks before still made me angry. Most of my old gang was on the football squad so it was easy to thrill to the defeat of those rude clods! I thought all was well until Mommy came over to the bus as we were boarding. I shivered in my satin panties as Mommy asked the cheerleading squad coach if it would be all right if she took me home now since we lived nearby. She explained it was silly for me to ride a bus for half an hour to return to the school with Mommy following to bring me back. The coach said she understood and let me go with Mommy. I made a BIG mistake when I grew petulant and stamped my pretty foot insisting that I wanted to ride the bus with the rest of the squad. I knew instantly that I'd blown it. The coach saw me shrink under Mommy's withering glare, and didn't even bother to reply. Mommy took my hand and led me over to her car. As we drove off the parking lot, I waited for the inevitable scolding, but instead Mommy was cheerful. First she gave me the old I TOLD YOU NO ONE WOULD RECOGNIZE YOU routine. Then she smiled and stated that I'd been flawless in the performance of the routines and cheers and deserved to be rewarded. Of course I was delighted with the praise instead of being punished, but I discovered my Mommy was devious! Instead of going home, she pulled up before the local Ice Cream Parlor! I immediately began to beg her to go home, but she insisted I had to be rewarded. Still wearing my cheerleader uniform with the name of my new school emblazoned upon it, Mommy led me into the store! The place was jammed with kids from my old school, bemoaning their loss, including most of the football squad and the cheerleaders! The last thing they wanted to see was one of the cuter cheerleaders from the winning school invade their turf! The place fell silent as all eyes were upon me. Several of the guys whistled and made suggestive comments. The girls just glared. Then the guys I'd gotten thrown out of the baseball park recognized Mommy. It didn't take long for them to realize that the cute cheerleader was me! The place began to buzz as they spread the word about who I really was! Everyone in the place had known me as a macho, arrogant boy, and now here I was appearing to be a sexy girl! I wanted to die! Mommy led me to a booth and made me sit across from her while everyone whispered and stared at me. I knew I had no choice but to play the girl Mommy wanted me to be. When the waitress came, Mommy ordered for me in a clear voice that carried over the entire shop. "Jennifer Sue did such a good job cheerleading I thought she should be rewarded! She will have a Kiddie Sundae and a Shirley Temple." The place erupted in jeers and catcalls until mother swept the room with a stern gaze. Once everyone was quiet she stood and smiled. "I see most of you recognize my darling daughter. Jennifer Sue is very timid and shy because she is afraid of reactions like this when her old friends discover that she's now a girl. Now I'm growing tired of keeping her cooped up in our home. A girl her age should get out once in a while, but I can only do that if I can trust you to treat her like a proper young lady. I hope you can accept her as the girl she's become so I can let her come here and other places about town. To prove that I'm willing to give you a chance to show her that you understand that she's now a girl, I'll pick up the tab for everyone if you agree to be nice to my darling Jennifer Sue!" The place was silent for several moments as I tried unsuccessfully to sink into my seat. Then it suddenly erupted into cheers. "Here's to Jennifer Sue," someone shouted as they held out a milkshake to toast my new persona. The next hour was sheer hell as all my old friends came to our table and greeted me, complimenting me for being such a pretty girl. I'm sure Mommy knew my old buddies were lying through their teeth, but she seemed to accept their words at face value. I knew they were teasing me! I also knew that Mommy would make me venture into town on my own dressed as a girl! I was sure my every move would be reported back to her, and heaven help me if I failed to behave like a prissy girl at all times! Speaking of being a prissy girl, I have to take private dance lessons three times a week. Ballet on one night, tap on another, and jazz on the third. Mommy picked out a song and insisted my teacher design a routine for the year ending dance recital. It's an old song from the early sixties! It's called CHANTILLY LACE by some guy called the Big Bopper! (I thought the rappers had weird names!) My costume matches the song and I have to dance about and flirt with the audience as if I were a big tease! It's so humiliating! In case you never heard the song, (I didn't until Mommy played it for me!) here are the words of the chorus. "Chantilly lace and a pretty face, with a ponytail, a hangin' down, with a wiggle in her walk and a giggle in her talk, makes the world go 'round! There ain't a nothin' in this world like a big eyed girl to make me act so funny, make me spend my money, make me feel real loose, like a long necked goose, as a girl, Oh baby that's a what I like!" As you might guess, I'm the girl in Chantilly lace with the pretty face and big eyes. My ponytail hangs down. The choreography has made sure that I have a wiggle in my walk. Several times during the routine I have to stop and giggle like a silly boy crazy girl! It seems that Mommy is doing everything she can to make me not only look like, behave, and act like a cute prissy girl, but she wants me to feel and think like one too! I don't know how much longer my boyishness can last. I'm scared, really scared! Well, I've spilled my heart out enough for now so I'd better end this letter. I'm hoping to hear from you soon! Your girlfriend in satin and lace; Jennifer Sue ************************************ LETTER #4 January 10, 199- Dear Susie; I delight in receiving letters. It's quite reassuring to know that I'm not the only boy being made to become a girl. Not that it makes our ordeals any easier, but just to know we're not alone. Mommy has me write to a lot of people to tell them what I am going through. I think there might be an organization of women who like to turn boys into girls! Some of the people I've written to have responded with stories about some boys who are made to dress and behave as girls who are younger than their real age. Why some of them even have to wear and use diapers! They eat baby food and drink from baby bottles! I think it's an absolutely horrid practice! I think I'd die if Mommy ever did that to me. She knows how I feel about it, and has told me in no uncertain terms that if I don't willingly behave like the prissy daughter she expects, she will put me back in diapers and start from scratch to raise me to be a well behaved prissy girl! She even bought a supply extra large cloth diapers which she keeps in the linen closet of my bathroom. Every time I get a clean towel, I see them. It serves as a very vivid reminder of just how fragile my situation is. Even though I think I have it bad now, I know it could be much worse. It's really tough on me because I was always ALL BOY and hated anything even remotely sissy-like. Now I have no choice but to be a sweet, cooperative, prissy girl. Despite my initial distaste, I've found that dance class is a lot of fun. I'm really getting into my CHANTILLY LACE number. The boys at my parochial school are starting to whistle at me because 'the wiggle in my walk and the giggle in my talk' I developed for my recital routine have carried over into my everyday life! No matter how hard I try, my backside betrays my submerged boyhood by swaying in a way that makes the boys notice I'm a girl. The cute pleated skirt of my school uniform accentuates even the slightest sway in a most provocative way! I'm glad that Mommy says I'm too young to date. If I wanted to, or I guess I should say if Mommy wanted me to, I'd have dates with different boys every night of the week. I find myself in quite a dilemma. I LIKE the attention the boys pay me! I know that sounds as if I'm really sick or something, but I do look like a pretty girl, and my body is developing like that of the other girls. Mommy says it's the female hormones I'm taking. Not only are they changing my body from a boy into a girl, they're starting to change the way I think and feel! Quite often I find myself thinking how cute certain boys are. I'm able to join in gossiping with my girl classmates about boys and fashions. In fact, it's fun to gossip. I guess I'm really becoming a prissy girl. Mommy certainly is making sure I have every opportunity to do so! After the incident at the ice cream parlor after the football game, Mommy's been making sure I get around to all my old haunts. The roller skating rink is the worst! Mommy bought me this kicky little pink skating outfit. The top is a soft, light pink, fuzzy angora sweater with one of those cute big eyed kittens embroidered on the front. The sweater fits me like a second skin, hugging me right to the flesh, even between the firm mounds of my pert 'A' cup breasts. It's embarrassing since the pupils of the kitten's huge eyes are centered right on my nipples! Mommy makes me wear a sheer nylon bra under it so that the nylon teases my nipples and makes them stand out. It looks like the eyes of the kitten are bulging out. But all the guys know it's my breasts since they saucily bounce and jiggle with my every movement. As if that weren't enough, the skirt is a simple hot pink satin circle skirt that would reach to mid thigh if it could. But it has a built in light pink tulle petticoat that holds it out so that it barely covers my bottom! Satin sissy panties, the kind with rows of lace ruffles across the backside, are revealed with my every step, or more appropriately, every skating glide. Light pink lycra stretch lace tights cover my smooth, shapely legs down to my hot pink roller skates. Mommy takes me roller skating every Saturday morning. She rents the entire rink and invites all my former classmates and their friends to join me in free roller skating. She even rents skates for them and provides soda pop and snacks for us! They only need treat me as if I really were the cute girl I appear to be. Needless to say, the old gang eagerly accepts Mommy's terms! Mommy doesn't want me to go out in the rink unescorted. What I don't understand is that it's no problem getting a male partner to skate with me. The guys line up to take me out on the floor! I sometimes think Mommy pays them to take me out, although I'm not sure. Mommy insists they hold my hand or slip an arm about my waist while we skate. It's simply horrid because even though I don't want to, I get all warm and mushy inside when they touch me, especially if they put their arms about my waist. I'm glad my penis stopped working, because if it did I think it might get hard! It's really hard to handle, I mean, I am a boy, but I'm getting turned on by guys treating me like a girl! Of course, there are real girls at the rink too. At first they teased me worse than the guys, but that quickly stopped when they realized I had no choice in what Mommy was doing to me. The first time I had to go potty, I was too embarrassed. Now I was familiar with girls rooms from parochial school, but there no one knew I was really a boy. But Mommy knew I had to go and asked several of the girls to escort me to the little girls room and to make sure I relieved myself. She made sure that everyone heard her orders that I should be a good girl and cooperate. Did the guys ever get a chuckle out of that! The girls Mommy asked to take me to the rest room are like me, not boys but, you know, prissy girls, not even remotely tomboyish. Well, they were giggling like crazy when they took my hands and led me into the girls room. Anyway, the girls led me into the end stall and tugged my panties and tights down. They laughed and giggled at my tears and humiliation until they saw me. Then they became real quiet and serious. You see, my penis has shrunk, I guess due to the hormones. Heck, I HAVE to sit to relieve myself, it's too small to pull out! On top of that, my scrotum has gotten smaller and real tight which forced my testicles up inside my body. Mommy said it's all part of my becoming a proper young lady. Yeah. Anyway, when the girls saw what happened to my male equipment, they looked at me with pity. I just stood there crying as one of the girls lifted my sweater so they could check out my breasts. They were quite shocked to see that my 'A' sized bra was not even slightly padded. They were quiet as they pulled my sweater back down and had me sit. When I finished they watched in stunned silence as I daintily dabbed myself dry with tissue. I needed no help to restore my tights and panties. Every one of them apologized for teasing me and promised to do all they could to help me to adjust to being a girl like them. The girls have been real nice to me since then. They treat me as if I'm really a girl, just one of them, even though they know I'm a boy, or that I used to be a boy. It's nice not having to worry about keeping my secret. They must have spread the word about my lack of masculinity because everyone has been treating me nicer, as if I were a genuine prissy girl instead of a fake one. It's begun to get downright embarrassing since the guys have begun to take liberties with me! Whenever I take a break from skating, the guys crowd about me on the benches. Mommy smiles when she sees a boy with his arm about my shoulders and his hand inching down to my breast. I've learned not to stop the boys when they do this, which only encourages them do it more. The first time it happened, when the boy's hand brushed my breast, I squealed and jumped. Everyone chuckled, and Mommy scolded me for being impolite right in front of everyone! I broke right down in tears, and Mommy scolded me more for acting like a baby! I knew that was a veiled threat to put me into diapers so I bit my lip. Then she made ME apologize for being rude to the boy who was only trying to be nice! Yeah... he just wanted to cop a feel! After that one time, I knew that if I ever did that again, I'd get a lot more than a scolding! It didn't take the guys long to figure out that they were free to 'cop feels' of my very real girlish breasts when I was seated. Of course, I can avoid it by staying out on the floor, but the guys seem to intentionally tire me out so I'll take a break with them. Then it's paw city while Mommy watches and the guys laugh. I've discovered just how the term 'roaming hands and rushing fingers' came about! What really frightens me, though, is that it sometimes feels good when they squeeze my breasts. Sure, some of the guys are real clods, but a few are quite sensitive to what makes me feel good. I guess Mommy approves of what I've started doing, because she just smiles at me, which really makes me angry, but I have to smile back. The way things work out, the guy that's skating with me when I finally have to take a break is the one who gets to slip his arm about me on the bench. Through experience, I've discovered which guys can make me feel good, so I make sure one of them is my last partner when I take a break. There are four guys that even get me squirming and moaning! Now when I go to the girls room, my girl friends crowd around me to sympathize with me. It really burns them up to see the guys taking advantage of me like that, after all, I'm one of them! But they're also jealous of all the attention I receive. Thankfully, they understand that I have no choice. I've gotten real close to them. They're better friends than my old buddies. Heck, my former best friend is one of the worst guys when it comes to pawing me! I really hate it when he blows in my ear while he's fondling my breast! Yet he's the guy who makes me feel most girlish! His touch is so tender, I almost swoon. Last week, near the end of the skating session, I was really exhausted. I sat down with him, and his arm went right around and in seconds his hand groped my breast. It felt real good, and I found myself wishing we were alone. Well, I guess Mommy knew, because she called the other guys away to do something for her, so Peter and I were left alone. Without the crowd around us, I relaxed and closed my eyes. My entire body was tingling from the way he caressed my breast. I was so tired and he was making me feel so relaxed and warm that I closed my eyes and moaned, giving myself over to the pleasure. Next thing I knew my head was resting on his shoulder, his tongue was squirming about in my ear, and my hand was resting on a very hard bulge in his lap! Needless to say I yanked my hand back to my own lap and sat up, turning beet red in the process. Peter laughed and kissed me, right on the lips! It was just a little peck, my first kiss, but was I shook up. Then I saw Mommy standing there watching us. She'd seen the whole thing! So did my girl friends, they were just staring at me, shocked by what I'd done. I just wanted to die! Thankfully no one said a word about it. All I wanted to do was to go home, but Mommy had other ideas. Oh we did leave the skating rink, but Mommy took me to see a doctor, a specialist. I learned what a GYNECOLOGIST is that afternoon. I also learned that it was now virtually impossible for me to ever go back to being a boy! My male hormones have been shut down, maybe permanently because of the shrinkage of my male genitals, the doctor called it atrophy, is virtually impossible to reverse. She said it was because Mommy had started me on the female hormones before I was fully into male puberty. Apparently the female hormones shut down what would have been a normal male puberty and re-routed it into a normal female puberty! So now I know that I'm going to be a girl for the rest of my life no matter what I want. I guess it makes me feel a little better to know that my the hormones have been changing my mind as well as my body. At least it makes what I did with Peter a little more palatable. As we drove home Mommy told me how delighted she is to finally have a sweet daughter. Then she asked if I'd like to return to my old school for the coming year. I couldn't answer, I mean, how could I? At least she didn't press the issue, telling me I had all summer to make up my mind. I'm not sure what to do. Parochial school is real strict and I'm not really close to anyone. The guys want to take me out, but I'm too scared in case they get too pushy and discover my tiny secret. If I return to my old school, everyone will know ALL about me, but then they already do. I have several close girlfriends, and many male admirers who know the truth. If I date them, I won't have to worry about my tiny weenie being discovered. Of course, I have no doubts that they would feel no qualms about using me sexually. After all, they already paw me! As for Peter... well, maybe it would be nice to return to my old school. Oh! I'm so confused! Part of me, the new, growing girl part wants to dress pretty and date boys. But there's still enough boy left in my head to scream SISSY, FOUL, VILE, DISGUSTING, QUEER, and FAGGOT! I just can't decide! I need some advise, from someone who understands what I'm going through. What do you think I should do? Please write to let me know! Thanks... Yours in ruffles, frills, satin and lace; Jennifer Sue ************************************ LETTER #5 February 15, 199- Dear Missy Sue; Your attendance at Melanie's birthday party sounded horrendous! I really feel sorry for you being turned back into a prissy 6 year old! I just hope my mommy never does that to me! Maybe if you try to cooperate with EVERYTHING your mommy wants, to prove you'll be a good girl, she'll let you go back to being a 10 year old girl. I don't want to burst your bubble, but I really doubt that either of us will every be boys again, but at least it'll be better to be your real age. My life is really a mess. Mommy decided that since I was getting along with my former friends at the roller skating rink, I could get along with them at school! So, when the semester ended, mommy pulled me from the parochial school and re-enrolled me in my old class in the local public school! Of course, the school wouldn't let me enroll as a girl since I had been a boy, but mommy took care of that. She took me to the doctor right after I wrote the last letter and... well... I'm not the boy I used to be. No, they didn't cut anything off... yet; but they sure re-arranged things! First, the doctor slit open my scrotum. I was strapped down and gagged, but wide awake. They even placed a mirror so I could see EVERYTHING. I was really afraid they were going to castrate me, but instead she made another slit in the muscles in my groin under the scrotum, and shoved my testicles inside my body! Then they took my useless shriveled penis, cut loose the urethra, then skinned it! I almost passed out fearing they were going to cut it off but instead they shoved the raw the meat into the slit too. The doctor and mommy were laughing at my bulging eyes. Then she took the skin and sewed it together to make a tube which they turned inside out and slipped into the slit! They said it will serve as my... vagina. They took the urethra and my scrotum and sewed it up to look like a girls groin. It only took a week to heal, now I HAVE to sit to pee, and they have me wearing a tampon in my fake vagina to keep it open. The doctor said the boys will never know the difference between me and a real girl. Am I pleased about that! Once the doctor sent a letter explaining my new condition to the school. She said that I was a hermaphrodite, a person who has the sex organs of both sexes, but that my male organs were incomplete so they had them removed so I could be a normal girl. The story spread like wild fire all over the school and the town. Needless to say I was welcomed back. Now I even have to shower with the other girls after gym class. They all stared at me at first, but once they saw me, they accepted me as a real girl. As far as they're concerned I'm just one of the girls. Of course, the boys heard all about the change. Peter, my former best friend, has announced that I'm HIS girl! Now when we go skating on Saturday mornings he's my constant partner. The other guys leave me alone, other than to gawk at the cute naughty outfits mommy makes me wear. The other girls now have boys to partner with. It gets pretty steamy during breaks because everyone is making out! Peter loves my breasts, and in spite of my misgivings, I'm growing to love the way he touches me there. Each time I resolve not to let him get to me, but once his fingers touch me, I melt. It just feels so yummy! I've been telling myself I could handle Peter, that I was letting him touch me because mommy was always watching and smiling. I'm afraid I was just deceiving myself. Last night was the big Sweetheart Valentine's Day dance at school. Naturally I was Peter's date. Mommy picked out my outfit especially for Peter. I was horrified when I saw what I looked like when I was finally allowed to look in the full length mirror. Of course, if I'd have been the guy I should be looking at the cute girl I'd become, I'd have jumped my bones in a minute! I wore a soft, pink pleated cotton miniskirt that barely covered my bottom. It swirled saucily with my every step. The dainty lace trim of my equally short pink nylon halfslip peeked enticingly beneath the whirling pleats. From the short hem of the naughty miniskirt to the tops of my pink lace topped anklets was more of the soft, hairless flesh of my smooth, curvy white legs than should have been legally allowed... but the school did! My daintily sheer anklets disappeared into the unbelievably shiny white patent leather of an adorable pair of flat heeled baby doll single strap Mary Jane shoes. The short sleeved off the shoulder peasant styled mid-drift blouse I wore was made of a sheer pink satin. A wide ruffle edged the open neckline that extended to include two inches of the delectably soft, hairless white flesh of my arms. The ruffle barely covered my firm pert breasts which let everyone know that I was obviously not even wearing a bra! The constant friction of the ruffle against my perky breasts caused my nipples to swell and jut out defiantly so that they were clearly visible beneath the sheer satin. Between the seemingly innocent (at first glance) sexy blouse and the provocatively short skirt was the firm taut white flesh of my bare tummy. The dimple of my cute belly button twitched bewitchingly with my every breath. As if all that weren't enough, my long blonde had been styled in a most babyish manner. Softly curled bouncy bangs whispered against my delicately thin eyebrows. A part down the center of my head separated the full shiny tresses into twin ponytails. These were formed just above and behind my ears, secured by shiny lace edged pink satin ribbons tied into delicate bows. This created fountains of silky hair that seemed to erupt from my head to scintillatingly cascade down to barely kiss my exquisite exposed shoulders. What really set off the discordance of the erotic/pristine image I projected was my face. A soft hint of light blue eyeshadow made my already sparkling clear baby blue eyes seem huge with childish naive innocence. Baby pink lip gloss accented my all too kissable pouty lips. But what cinched my obvious youthfulness was the hint of retained baby fat on my rosy dimpled cheeks. Peter got a boner the instant he saw me. We cuddled in the back seat as his mother drove us to the school. It took every ounce of courage and willpower to keep him off me! When we arrived at the dance, the guys all crowded around until Peter made them leave us alone. But they still gawked at me, undressing me with their eyes. The other girls were really pissed. We danced EVERY slow dance, Peter's hands rubbed my silky bottom as he pulled me against him. He's taller than me so he was rubbing his boner against my bare tummy. God it felt so hot! I wanted to hate it, but it just felt too darned good! I was so humiliated. Then he started kissing me... hot, probing tongue kisses that took my breath away. I was so far gone I didn't realize he'd lifted the back of my skirt and was fondling my butt cheeks! In a way, I was glad his hands were covering me because everyone could see the slinky pink satin panties I wore. I just couldn't bring myself to stop him from having his way with me. During the fast dances we'd sit, me on his lap, his hand under my skirt. At least he didn't slip inside my panties. But the sheer satin of my panties did nothing to reduce the heat of his wiggling fingers as they traced the outlines of my groin. Peter now has no doubts that I'm ALL girl. During the last dance, a real slow, long number with the lights turned low, he rubbed against me so much he shot his load! It was horrible. At first, I felt this twitching against my tummy but didn't know what was happening. Then he stopped dancing and pulled so tight I could barely breathe. Then he moaned real low and guttural and I felt a sticky wetness against my bare tummy. Then I knew he'd come! I almost passed out as I realized what happened! He wouldn't let me go was it off. All the way home he cuddled me and held my hand on the big sticky spot on his pants. Then he made me put my fingers in my mouth. I could taste him, and when he left go of my hand, I kept my sucking on my fingers. He just smiled. I'm really scared now. I know the female hormones has been making my body girlish. Is my mind changing too? I reacted like a real girl with Peter! I even dreamed about doing more! But I'm a boy, even if my parts are now tucked away. I'm a boy... aren't I? Help... I'm sorry for spilling my heart out to you, but I needed to get it out. I'm so scared. I guess it's useless to fight it any longer... mommy has turned me into a girl. Please write me... Your girlfriend in ribbons, ruffles lace and bows; Jennifer Sue (the end)