Tabloid Tales Memphis Interlude
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Tabloid Tales: Hey Presto free porn video
Tabloid Tales: Hey Presto!
by Paul1954
The Wheatsheaf Pub, Wapping London - November '99
It was a cold and wet winter's night in London's Docklands, and Mike
Langston and Tom Walters were grateful for the warmth that the 'real
flame effect' gas fire gave them, as the flames leapt around the fake
logs.
"Christ Tom - are you going to get me another pint or what!" Mike
said, as he rattled his empty glass on the beer stained table that they
were sharing.
Picking up on the less than subtle hint of his friend, Tom Walters
finished off the dregs from his own glass and pushed his chair back,
the squeaking of the chair's legs against the wooden floor making
Mike's teeth curl. He had just started to fish around in his pocket for
some loose change when he heard a call from the other side of the
pub.
"Hey - don?t worry Tom, I'll get these"!
Both the men turned their heads to see their young colleague Tony
Franks walking towards them, accompanied by an attractive young
woman.
(Author's note - for the story of Tony Franks read The Sultan's
Choice by the same author)
Mike whispered under his breath to his good friend and colleague:
"I don?t believe this Tom - he has broken the eleventh
commandment. Everyone knows that there are no women allowed in
our closed circle of journalists that meet here. Women just can?t cut it
in this honourable, but cut-throat, profession of ours. All they're good
for are the agony aunt columns, and articles on fashion and 'women's'
problems!
Tom looked across at his friend and tried to remember how many
drinks he had taken - even he was finding his misogynist stance a
little hard to accept! By this time Tony was walking towards their
table with a tray of drinks - three pints of best bitter and a 'g and t' for
the lady.
"Now before you say anything I haven?t gone completely mad. First
let me introduce you to Faith, you most probably know her better as
'Faith Hope', the new agony aunt for the Daily Herald - you know -
the advice column 'Faith and Hope (and a little Charity!)'".
The young woman nodded to the two men who gave her a curt
response, making her feel uncomfortable.
"Now ease off guys - I know that I've broken all the rules here but I
don?t think that you'll still think that that's the case once you've heard
her story".
There was only so much that Mike could take and his short fuse
finally gave way.
"What! You mean you've brought her here to add to our ever-
growing list of tales - I don?t think I've ever heard such sacrilege in
all of my career. It's an insult to our select band of professionals -
everyone knows that a woman just can?t tell a decent joke or a good
story. They'll always screw up the punch-line, or the ending of
whatever they're telling you"!
When she had walked in she had come across as one tough cookie -
Mike's tirade had seemed to have a derogatory effect on her though,
and she started to cry a little.
"I..I'm so sorry" she spluttered and turned towards Tony, "I..I think
I'd better go - I shouldn?t have come"!
"No, no - please don't go. Ignore these insensitive brutes" he said, as
he put an arm around her shoulder protectively. He turned to his
colleagues, the annoyance he felt etched clearly on his face.
"Now just you two pack it in and read this article. After that Faith has
a story to tell you".
He threw down a five-month old version of the London Evening
Standard, already folded back to an article, which bore the headline:
"Fay conjures up blow for women at Magic Circle" by Gary David.
"Hey wait a minute -- weren't there some rumours about a group of
journalists going missing a few days after attending some press
conference or other around that time. It was some magic convention
or something wasn't it?" Tom piped up.
"Yeah" Mike suddenly caught on, "wasn't Gary one of them? He used
to be all right did Gary!" Mike exclaimed.
With that Faith started sniffling again and stood up quickly, a tissue
held against her nose.
"E..excuse me - I'm going to have to go to the ladies washroom" she
said, stumbling from the table. They watched her stagger towards the
men's washroom before shouting across and warning her. This simply
seemed to make her even more upset!
Mike shook his head and muttered "bloody women"!
"I'd be a little careful of what you say if I was you - just you wait
until you hear what she has to say"! Tony grinned to them.
It was another ten minutes until the men watched Faith leave the
washroom and walk back to their table. All three of them appreciated
her long brown hair, the cut of her suit, which emphasised her
generous bosom and long sleek legs, but Tony seemed a little less
enthusiastic than Mike and Tom. She sat down demurely, smoothing
her skirt beneath the legs that were tightly held together, and placed
her shoulder-bag on the side of the table before patting a few loose
strands of hair back into place. She looked every inch the young
professional woman, although she still seemed to be a little nervous.
"Okay love - what's with the headline then - spill the beans!" Mike
said rather abruptly.
* * * * * * *
Faith took another mouthful of her drink
"W..well Mike" she said with an unexpected familiarity that surprised
him, "it all started when I was sent on an assignment to interview
some members of the Magic Circle. Apparently some woman, who
used to be a man or something - what do they call them - tran..
transsexu".
"Transsexuals!" Tom interrupted her, as his colleagues looked at him
in surprise at his knowledge of such things!
"Thank you - transsexuals. Well this transsexual, Fay Presto was her
name, was after making some sort of history by trying to become
elected as their first female president. Apparently the last incumbent
of the post was trying to make one hundred thousand pounds
disappear - the trouble was he was trying to make it disappear from
the local bank vault and into his own account and he was caught red-
handed"!
The men laughed at what they thought was a joke but Faith remained
straight faced and continued.
"Well with men being what they are, there was a lot of opposition,"
she said curtly. "There was no way that they wanted women doing
anything in magic other than prancing around in skimpy costumes
and posing to make them look clever. Now one of what used to be
their own was betraying them - he had changed to the other side and
now wanted to run the whole show - where would it ever end, they
thought"!
"Well they thought they would all get some good PR if the two
opposing factions gave a press conference. I was one of a group of
reporters who was assigned to do this, in what I thought was a pretty
safe, showbizzy type of affair. The trouble was they wanted to fix the
interview so that they would be made to look good whilst she would
be made to look ditzy and fluffy" Faith said. "This would damage her
credibility and she would never get taken seriously after that, and
would no longer be a threat to their male bastion"!
"If we agreed to help them with this then they would get their top
magicians to perform for a charity of our choice. Well you know how
we newshounds love our charities don't you!" Faith said with mock
gravity.
"Wait a minute - you?re young and pretty and a woman. Why would
they want another woman's angle on this - surely you would have
been sympathetic to her cause, not theirs!" Tom stated.
"Just hear me out and all will become clear" she replied patiently,
before continuing.
"Well it was all going according to plan. There were six of us
interviewing them - one from each of the major tabloids - and we
asked them the questions that were planned beforehand. It sounded
pretty impressive, even if I do say so myself. It was when we started
on Fay's interview that the trouble all started!" she said, her voice
threatening to break again.
She took another drink to compose herself. Tony was looking smug
as he saw that his 'senior' colleagues were hooked on this tale - he
knew that his gamble was the right thing to do!
"We started off asking her a few serious questions - we didn?t want to
make what we were doing too obvious - as you know, our integrity
and the trust we enjoy from the public must remain unimpeachable.
No, it was when we could see that she was taking this bid of hers so
seriously - I mean, she really believed that she could drag this
collection of boring old farts screaming and kicking into the twenty-
first century. Some chance"!
"It started to all go wrong when Harry, Harry Farraday .."
"Harry Farraday - God, I haven?t seen Harry around here for a while.
What on Earth has happened to him?" Mike interrupted.
"As I was saying, Harry Farraday made some comment which upset
her - I can remember it now:
"Fay, we all know you used to be a man - why don?t you show us if
you can still piss standing up without making a mess. That would be
magic!" he said, guffawing loudly".
"She managed to ignore this lewd comment with great dignity, and I
even started to feel a little sorry for her when Charlie Brewster called
out:
"It must take a lot of balls to take on these men in a male
environment, but I suppose the only balls you've still got are those
you juggle with""!
"The room erupted into laughter again and some of us were already
trying to compose the sarcastic headlines which would undermine her
campaign as she rose from her chair, her face scowling like thunder".
"You may all live to regret what you have tried to do to me tonight.
Don?t think I don?t understand what is going on here. Well hear my
curse - if the headlines appear tomorrow, that make a mockery out of
me or my cause, then you will have good reason to understand a little
more about my condition" she cursed them all.
"I tell you - the only laughter afterwards was that of the nervous
variety as a loud explosion rocked the room and the lights
momentarily dimmed. It had been raining outside and we assumed
that it must have been a clap of thunder. We did think it was a
damned co-incidence though"!
Mike and Tom were looking puzzled at each other. As Faith got more
excited she sounded less and less like the girl she appeared to be,
masculine colloquialisms had started inflecting her vocabulary! She
continued.
"Well we were hardened hacks weren't we!" she said, as the men
looked at each other in puzzlement again, "and her feeble threats
were not going to stop us from pursuing our noble trade, so the
following day the headlines appeared as you've read. My own was as
follows:
'Fay conjures up blow for women at Magic Circle" by Gary David
Magicians are being urged to elect the first woman president of the
Magic Circle. Their candidate is well qualified for the job -- her
greatest trick was changing herself from a man into a woman.
Magician Fay Presto who had a sex-change operation in 1986 wants
to
modernise the 95-year-old society. ....'
"I managed to get my headline in first, working for London's evening
paper, and went to bed a happy man. The only trouble was I didn?t
wake up that way!" she said looking down at her body.
"Th..then - t are you trying to tell us that .."?
"Yes -. No, when I woke the first thing that I noticed was a strange
feeling that everything had grown somehow. As I turned my head a
long lock of brown hair fell in front of my face, I?d been grey and
bald when I had gone to sleep the previous evening. I sat up quickly,
feeling a strange movement from around my chest, and as I leapt
from the bed I noticed an unused to void between my legs. I ran to
the mirror and found that I was no longer Gary David - fifty-two year
old man, hardened hack and friend of your goods selves. No, I was
now the twenty-four year-old female you see sitting in front of you
now"!
"Good God!" Mike gasped, "you - you?re Gary David - but how?" he
spluttered in shock!
"Well you've been listening to what I've told you. Maybe Fay had
more up her sleeves than a few pigeons" Faith replied.
"But Faith Hope - why?" Tom interjected.
"Well a girl's got to earn a living and the press is all I know. It helped
secure me the Agony Aunt's column in a major daily didn?t it!" she
stated.
"B..but you know nothing about women's problems and things!"
Mike said disbelievingly.
"Mike - believe me, a girl soon learns" she said, her suffering drawn
clearly on her face, "It's still a man's world you know".
"But what about the others" Mike interrupted again.
"Well they didn?t all fare so well as me. It took another day for their
headlines to hit the streets, and by the following day we had all come
together again, to see if all of us had been affected in the same way.
Our fears were realised as all we could see were beautiful girls of
some form or another".
"Charlie now works as a model, you've most probably seen her
topless on more than one occasion in one of the dailies. Harriet,
formerly Harry, couldn?t quite get herself together and is now
working as a secretary on the same paper she used to work for. Of the
others, well ones a waitress, ones a barmaid, and one ran away with a
film star - she's been labelled Hugh's mystery girl, as you might have
read".
There was a stunned silence around the table.
"Of course" Faith continued, "Fay got the presidency with an
overwhelming majority. Once word got around of what had happened
the Magic Circle elected her virtually unopposed. What man would
dare to do otherwise. She's been a great success ever since".
"Well Gary .." Mike started.
"Faith please - I'm Faith now!" she interrupted.
"Sorry .. Faith, well it has been good to see you again" Mike said
inadequately, for once lost for words.
She held out a limp hand, which he shook gently.
"Likewise Mike, Tom" she replied and smiled shyly.
Tony stood and helped her get her coat back on.
"Well we're off now chaps. I've promised to take Faith to a nice little
restaurant I know in Lewisham" he said to them.
"But .. but - don't tell me that you two are going on a date. For
goodness sake, how could you - for one thing you?re a married man
and you Faith - well you?re a gi.. a gir.." Tom called out after them.
"A girl - exactly Tom. It was hard for me too tell you this tonight, but
as you can see - I'm adapting. Ciao" she finished, and blew them a
kiss as the couple left arm in arm.
* * * * * * *
It was a good five minutes before either managed to find something
to say to each other. Tom finally broke the ice.
"Well I don?t know about you old man, but I could murder another
pint"!
The End
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