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Operation Bella By Sophie Michelle We all knew why we were called into the schools assembly that morning. It was not the fact that the girls had not been called, only the boys. We knew because we had all seen the news the previous day. "Today in Parliament finally passed the 'Re-alignment of the sexes act' by a majority of 4, and moves are already afoot for Operation Bella to be launched in schools tomorrow." This new law had been argued about in parliament for months, if not years, though we never sure quite whether it would happen. We joked about it in the football team though. "Hey, Steve, got yourself a bra yet" "Hey lads, this must be Andrea!" Not that Stephan Jacks or Andrew Westman were likely girls, but we were all subject to some of the teasing. It all started before we were born, of course. There was this drug that a lot of men took so they could be sure of having sons. Y-Selection factor they called it. My Mum never really explained why this was such a big deal then, and she said my father never took it anyway. It had started in America, but it was only six months later in early 2002 that the drug reached the UK and my generation was the first set of British kids to be effected. Result was in my year of 150 pupils, over 100 were boys. In the US they realised something had to be done, and so the GBRA - or Gender Balance Restoration Act - was made law. There was plenty of argument about the rights and wrongs in Britain. Now we knew which side had won, and we had got our version. We were all year 7 students by this stage, aged 12-13, so the onset of puberty was imminent. That was why Operation Bella, the result of this new law, had to be set up fast. The idea was to deal with my school year first, then take two years at a time until children were treated at 8 or 9, as in America. We all sat quietly in the hall waiting for the head teacher to arrive. Normally a group of boys of our age would have been noisy and boisterous, but this time we waited with an air of expectancy, and a lot of nerves too. We really did not know what Mrs Dobson was going to say. When she did spoke it was in her kindest voice. She said a lot of stuff about the background that we knew, but I could tell she was not sure how to tell us straight. So she put on this video. And that told us straight! The woman on the tape explained that because two thirds of children of our age were boys, it would be a good idea if some of us were girls. Then she that grown-ups had decided that some boys would be helped to change into girls if they wanted. For the rest of the film a lot of girls were interviewed about why they liked being girls. The audience got a bit restless at this stage. I wasn't surprised. Twelve year old boys are not interested in why girls like being girls. The last two girls were American, and I had a good guess that these had been boys changed because of the law in America. They looked just like girls to me though and talked about what they liked, just like all the others had. After the video, Mr. Gatting the Religious studies teacher gave us a talk on how important it was to get married, and how difficult it would be for us to find a partner with so many boys but not many girls. Then we all returned to our classes. I played football that lunchtime on the school field just like always. I had been in the school team for my year, as the right back, until Darren Collins in class B7 had got a bit stronger, and better than me. I needed all the practise I could get. Before afternoon class a piece of paper came round announcing a meeting after school 'for all boys who want more information about the video this morning.' That is what the note said. We all guessed they were asking for volunteers! I said to my best friend Peter. "Lets go and see who goes to the meeting." It would be a chance to start spreading the rumours round school. "Yeah Harry, what if Collins is there, you'd get your team place back " he said with a laugh. I wasn't sure there was much chance of that but we said we'd meet by the old oak tree. We could see the entrance to the hall from there. At 3:50 I took up my position. So far I had seen no boy approach the hall, which didn't surprise me. At least Peter had not missed much. Late again. Then I wondered if a spot closer to the door would be better. Where was Peter? I looked towards the science building where he had his last class. That's how I missed Gatting coming round the corner. "Come on Henry Chappell. You're late." With that he ushered me into the hall. What was I doing there! The meeting was just like the morning really. There was a video again with yet more girls talking about, well, being girls. My mind wondered and I looked around the room. There were four other boys there. I don't know how they sneaked in past my guard. Billy Spencer lived with an aunt and three female cousins. The poor lad probably felt left out. Edmund Allman had always been the weakest boy in the class. The other two, though were a real shock. Chris was the year brainbox with a really bright future. And then there was Darren Collins. After the meeting there was more talk about the importance of the program, though I it was all a bit in 'grown-up' talk. We were asked about what we felt, and after an embarrassed silence Chris said something about the good sense of the scheme. I left the meeting in a bit of a daze, so I barely noticed when I signed a register as asked by Mrs Dobson. Darren Collins?! The two smaller boys left quickly so the three of us stood there together. I asked Chris if he'd really meant what he had said. "Sure Chaps, its not logical to grow up alone." Then he must have realised it was not logical to miss his tea, and went home on his bike. Then there were two of us. Rivals for one place in a team. Not bitter rivals, we were both to friendly for that and, so it seemed, not rivals for much longer. Darren explained as we walked home. "Please don't say anything to the team, Harry. They'll know soon enough, but the thing is, well, I've always wanted to be a girl. I've been praying for this law to come in. I can't explain why." As we passed the park, he beckoned me behind a bush. I hope nobody was watching, but if you were I assure you that one twelve year old boy showing another inside his trousers was quite innocent. He showed me he was wearing girl's panties. Then we parted, and as I walked home, a thought struck me. Neither of my classmates had questioned why I was there. The next day Mum was waiting to meet me from school. This was unusual but she was wearing her kind face so I was sure there was nothing wrong. We walked to the car and I guessed she wanted help with shopping. My sister worked away and my brother could be difficult, so I often helped at the supermarket. She was chatting away in an unexceptional way, but then we drove right past the car park for the shops. The conversation dried up for a moment, or rather Mum stopped talking and I was thinking. Then she said: "You never said you went to that meeting yesterday." It had not crossed my mind to. I had not gone winningly. " I, err.." We arrived home and as she put on the handbrake, my mother looked at me and smiled. "You know you can tell me anything, Love." "Well, I was just passing and Mr. Gatting thought and ..." Mum did not let me finish. "You should think about it though." I was gobsmacked I can tell you. I did some homework and then went round to Peter's because he has Sky TV and there was a match on. We talked football all evening and though he gave me a couple of strange sideways glances, we didn't talk about his non-appearance the previous afternoon. And I couldn't even mention Darren being there. It was too complicated. It was on the way home though that things started to go really amiss. On the corner of my street I met my brother and two of his mates. Charlie was a layabout and a rebel, and his mates were bordering on thugs. We were not close! He never gave me trouble - Mum would draw the line at that - but he probably saw me as a swot and I knew I did not want to grow into him. As my closest family role model he was not what I'd have asked for. "Oi! Harry." I went towards them. They were reading something, or at least looking at pictures because I saw it was a Mayfair or an Escort or something like that. Yuggy, the tallest of the three was waving a picture of a blond girl in my face. She looked barely eighteen and naked, her legs were slightly apart. "Harry, is this what ya gonna look like one day, eh?" asked my brother. I turned and walked as fast as I could to the house, though I still heard what they shouted after me. "Or should that be Harriet?" If were to put bad reactions to my attendance at that meeting on a scale of one to ten, big brothers pushing pictures in your face is about nine and a half. What was waiting for me when I got home was off the scale, man! There was Mum and Alan and they were sitting in the lounge. I like Alan. He had been with Mum for six months at that time, and since Dad had died when I was four I liked my mother in a relationship again. It made her a lot, lot happier. It was not the cast of this scene I objected to, it was the script, though the fact that this was two of my favourite people in the world didn't help. Mum beckoned me into a chair and then explained why she had been at the school gates that day. "I was called to your headmasters office today. All the mums of the boys who went to your meeting were there." I gulped. "Its all right love. We only want the best for you." Her words seemed to dry up and Alan took over. "The headmistress showed your mum the form you signed yesterday." I hadn't signed a form. I had signed a register. I said so. "No, you signed a form, expressing an interest in Operation Bella. A personal interest." "Alan?" There was a note of reproach in my mothers voice. "OK. Harry, I have to give it to you straight. You signed an agreement to be part of Operation Bella." I stood up, I could take no more of this. Alan waved me down. "We don't know if its legally binding." "It can't be." I felt desperate but I was trying to keep it out of my voice. "What we do know is that the two together will be very hard, and very expensive, to get out of." "Which two?" I was losing the plot. Fast. "Harry, dear. Oh I feel I've made a terrible mistake." "Your mother was given a form to sign saying she accepted your wish." "You signed it, mum? Mum!" "I thought it was what you wanted, Love. I thought I was showing my love for you." "You might have asked me first!" I stormed upstairs A little later, Mum came to my room. I sensed her placing some leaflets in on my desk. "Mum?" was all I could say through sleepy eyes. She sat down on my bed. "We'll talk about this more, Love. But you have to think about it. Mrs. Dobson has explained to you how your chances of finding a girlfriend or wife later are quite small when there are twice as many boys as girls. And the idea of you turning like Charles, oh look these are big things to talk about now. See you in the morning love. Get some sleep." But I was wide awake now. When I heard her bedroom door shut, I turned on my light and went to the desk. For an hour or more I was lost in study. The amused curiosity of recent weeks has now become a matter of urgency. The first document I picked up was the form I signed. I had held out a hope that it had been a trick, that my signature had been transferred by computer or some other way from something else. But I recognised this form now. Though I hadn't been paying so much attention when I signed it, the pale yellow background and the dark borders were now familiar. Had the other boys read the document and then signed. Though the layout looked like a proper form, the words used were quite simple. They said: I agree to take part in Operation Bella. I have been told and understand that for the good of the country some boys will have to become girls. I am happy to be one of these boys. By signing below I consent to have a course of injections that will make my body more like a girl's, then later to have an operation that will make me exactly like a girl. I accept that at some point soon the law will say I am female and that for the rest of my life I will be a female. Signed Harry Chapman. Then I picked up the form Mum had signed. It was written a lot more officially, of course, but I picked out a few lines. It said things like "I hereby accept my son's desire to undergo gender transformation" and "I promise to give all the support necessary for this difficult process." Then near the bottom it had penalty clauses. From what I could make out Mum could go to prison if between us we went back on the agreement. There were a couple of other leaflets about how things would happen. I was getting tired again, so I read through them quickly, then found something called a timeplan. This said that the treatment could start in three weeks, but this had been reduced to a week because at twelve puberty might strike anytime. Then it gave how long it should take before a name change was good idea. And how long the whole process would take. A name change? The whole process? I'd kind of got use to Harry (though I'd never been keen on Henry). And what 'The whole process' meant I didn't want to think about. As far as I could tell, my mum was going to prison. Or I was going to be turned into a girl. I had a hard choice. If it was going to be my choice, that is. The next day at school was quite strange. The word must have got out that I was at that meeting. People seemed to be keeping their distance from me, but nobody was openly hostile. Then as I was preparing to go, I saw a small group crowded around Darren. This was it. They'd take him first then they'd come for me. I might last until tomorrow if I was lucky. Maybe I should not wait. I should go and help him now. Then I realised they were all shaking hands with him. And heading towards me. It was Stephan Jacks who spoke first. "I think you've been very brave, Harry." "Yeah, it's kind of a sacrifice." Said Andrew. I suppose he saw it as a relief for him, but I'm sure I noticed respect in his voice. "We girls will give you advice if you like." I hadn't seen Alyson, a small girl at the side of the group. They all shook hands with me as they had with Darren. When they left me he came over and he was clearly excited. "Isn't it great, we're going to be girls." he said. I was beginning to think he might be right, but it didn't seem so great. Over tea Mum asked "Have you thought more about it?" I said I had which was about as truthful as I could get. "We'll have a family meeting tomorrow night. Amanda is coming over." Mandy is my sister, nearly ten years older than me. She works as an airline stewardess. I always thought she was glamorous and worshipped her from afar. After I had eaten I went to do my homework. We had rather a lot that night. I remember that because Peter and I had agreed not to meet after. I did it in double quick time because I wanted to investigate what Mum had put on my bed. It was a pile of my sisters old books. I started to read. The books I usually read were adventures, or about boys playing football. The results for the team were more important than the characters. These books were really different. The girls in the stories talked to each other about things and you could really start believing they were real. By the time Mum knocked on the door to ask me if I was OK it was past midnight and I started my fourth title. All the next day I spent thinking about the stories. I wasn't ready to admit it fully, but in one of the girls in one of stories I had seen something of myself. The following evening was Friday, and as Mum promised both Charlie and Amanda were there. Charlie was wearing a suit which seemed a strange gesture for the occasion. I didn't even know he had one. After tea we all went into the living room and the conference began with a little speech from Mum. "You all know now that Henry has put himself forward for Operation Bella, though he did not really mean to at the time. Alan has been doing some research, and it seems the get out clauses are very difficult. I just want to say I will be with him whatever we decide." Then Amanda said: "Well I'd love to have a little sister. I think this is all a smashing idea." Charlie said, "You won't get any trouble from me, brother, I mean, er.. or the Lads." He tailed off. He might have been saying what he had been told to, but he sounded genuine enough. "And sorry about last night." I gave him a nod though the memory was still a raw one. "I know you are not particularly keen, " said Alan. "But I've been reading these testimonies from the States. There are a lot of examples of boys who were very strongly against, who now admit they are very happy as girls." I drew a deep breath, as anyone is surely allowed to before life changing speeches. I wasn't really thinking of the consequence of what I was saying. "I got the family into this so I can hardly expect anyone else to get me out. I've been reading those books and the leaflets and today I watched the girls in my class and I wondered and...." It was time to get it over with. " I will do this. I will let them turn me into a girl." The family all cheered but I felt drained. In the morning, when I had recovered my strength, the whole family started making plans. Mum said that for what I was doing the whole of the country were going to be grateful, so the least my family could do was make a real fuss of me. A calendar was drawn up, and with the help of the timeplan leaflet we wrote on when various stages that I would go through and on what dates. It was now September 24th 2016. I would start counselling almost straight away, and blood tests would be needed so my injections could be worked out. Dates were written on as to when I would start wearing more feminine cloths, when I would start attending school as a girl, when the whole process might finish. Though I helped by writing most of it on, my head was in a whirl. Then we went shopping, just for groceries. I helped as usual, but I could tell Mum was treating me a little differently. Usually she would send me off on errands for this and that, but that day she kept me by her side and asked my advice of what we should buy. For the rest of the weekend I read more Mandy's old books and watched some TV. Then on Sunday afternoon I knew there was something I had to do. I found my brother watching motor sport. "Charlie, can you do something for me?" When I explained what it was I wanted, and why, he winked at me and went up to his room. Moments later he knocked on my door with a pile of magazines. The thing was that with my sister a lot older than me and neither she nor Mum in the habit of touring the house with no clothes on, I was quite naove about what a girl's body was actually like. I'd seen pictures like the ones Charlie had leant me - They'd been passed around the football team, but I'd never really looked at them. Now things were different. Now it seemed that I really was going to become a girl. I needed some physical sense of what that would mean. I thought some of the pictures were horrible with the girls made to look dumb, like toys. There were others though where older teenage girls stood face or side on, a nice enough smile and of course naked. I traced the lines on their breasts and looked studiously at where I had a penis. Of course I knew that was one main difference - I wasn't THAT stupid. But even so, I examined the shape of a girl there. This was not the most usual way for a young boy to discover girls. In the evening we had another little meeting, just Alan, Mum and me. Alan brought out a booklet. "This came in the post yesterday morning with the letter confirming your first appointments." He showed me the cover "A parents guide to Operation Bella" "There are a few suggestions here. I'm not sure you'll like all of them, but I think its best we follow them as closely as we can." I nodded, wondering what I was letting myself in for. I saw Mum had a parcel by her side. "It says that you should not rush, but that time is quite short. It makes a point I didn't agree with a first, but I understand now. Although in society today it is quite possible for gender roles to blur a little, results from America's program show this program works best if the boy aims at being a feminine girl rather than a tomboy." "I'm not quite sure what that means, Alan." I did really, but I needed it spelt out. "It means if you throw yourself into this and not hold back, you'll accept yourself more quickly." "I.. I.. " I wanted to say something but the words would not quite form on my lips. " I see what you mean. I'm just not sure I..." "That's OK Harry." Said Mum. "It will take adaption. The secret is going to be reading all the books and leaflets we get and talking with your councillor" "Are that brings me to something else, your name. We don't think we should call you Harriet. The book suggests you choose name a bit different from what we call you. It shows acceptance of a new role." "But the initials can stay the same," added Mum. I sighed with relief. I knew I didn't want to be Harriet anyway. Charlie's call that night was one thing, but no girl my age had that name. Mum must have seen my smile. "You have something in mind?" I had. "Helen," I said. It had been the name of the girl in the book. The one who had first showed me how I might accept all this. Alan gave a little clap. "Bravo". We had a little discussion about a middle name, something the replace James. I didn't like Joanne and we all agreed Jamie wasn't right. I was going to agree to just plain Jane, but then in a flash I said Jade. I knew that's was right. It wasn't really a reward for choosing a name for myself so readily - I was going to get them anyway. In the parcel, was a girl's hair grip, a make-up box and a pack of girls knickers. "You're not quite ready for these yet, but I thought it best to show we all mean this." said Mum. Nevertheless, I wore the panties to school the next day, under my boys uniform. I decided the 'In for a penny in for a pound' approach was a good idea. The following week was uneventful. On Monday the school doctor took a blood sample from the five of us. Then on Wednesday I saw the councillor. She was OK, just got me talking about myself. "Don't feel you have to put on an act, love." she said. The five of us formed a little group, though the too smaller boys were quiet and Chris seemed happier to be studying. None of them had thought of a name yet, and I kept mind to myself for now. I don't know why, I already knew I'd chosen right. Darren was full of it though. At first I thought his enthusiasm might rub off on me, but it got a bit irritating after two days. First he was going to Karen, then Diane. Then he admitted it was anything but Mary because that's what his Dad had chosen for him! After three days of this I asked Peter if I could join in the football again. He wondered why I hadn't so far. I knew it would have to stop soon if I was going to keep my promise, but for a week or so? That would do no harm. For a while life became routine again. I had injections every Friday and counselling sessions every Wednesday. Every second Monday there was a support group for parents and assignees. I had little battle with Mum over magazines. She wanted to replace my 'Shoot' with something called 'Sugar'. In the end we compromised. I would read 'Shoot' and 'J-17' for a while. I think it was unspoken that this was for a limited period and Mum asked if J-17 wasn't perhaps a little too old for me until Amanda had told her that all girls read mags that are meant for three years older. I remember the first week when both magazines were delivered. I started of with the best intentions and open the girl's magazine first. I studied the entertainment pages which had gossip that wasn't very entertaining, read the horoscope then studied and interview with the latest boy band sensations - Torn Apart? You remember them? Weren't very good, were they? I looked into their eyes to see if I could see anything I'd not seen before. I couldn't. Then I read 'Shoot' from cover to cover. Then I went back to J-17 and cut out all the articles about make-up and stored them in a shoe box. I was saving them for later at Mum's suggestion. It wasn't that I was going back on my promise. I had grown used to the fact that I was changing. It was just that I didn't feel much like a girl yet. I followed the news regarding Operation Bella. Most schools had more than five boys changing, though a few had found no volunteers. About 5% only of my age group had volunteered and it was agreed that next year there would have to be boys forced to take part. I went to support meetings and saw my councillor and took my injections. Every few days Mum and I would look at the chart. The more serious moves seemed to be getting seriously closer. As November passed I did spot one thing that was curious - Time spent reading 'Shoot' declined and I was finding more in the J-17 I found interesting. It was a gradual thing really, I never really noticed when the news from Chelsea got boring and I wanted to know more about fashion tips. Also I can't quite remember when the last time I joined the guys for playground football was, except that it was after I told Mum I had stopped. One lunchtime I noticed I hadn't gone out to the playground for a day or two, and didn't want to. I just found I preferred to chat to some new friends than run around. These new friends were the girls in my class rather than Darren and company. On the last Wednesday of November I put my 'Shoot' aside barely read. That afternoon I told my counsellor I felt ready for the next stage. The following Saturday was when my Indian summer of boyhood was over for good. That morning, by agreement, Mum took me to her hairdressers. I had needed a haircut when I first signed up, but it was decided to leave for a while so my hair could grow out. I chose a style from the magazines in the shop and sat there passively for my first big change. Two hour later - much longer than I was used to for having my hair done - I came out with an attractive bob cut. Then we went cloths shopping. With my help, Mum chose no end of skirts and dresses. I never realised I'd need so much. Then on the way home we made one more stop. It didn't hurt so much as I thought and then I had pierced ears. When we got home I changed into a denim dress. Over tea I had two announcements to make. "I think its time we stopped 'Shoot', Mum. I'm losing interest in football a bit now." Mum smiled. "I noticed you hadn't read it much this week, dear. It so good you have reached that decision for yourself." She then presented me with a small box. It was a lovely pair of earrings. "Oh thanks Mum". I gave her a hug. I held them in my hand and then remembered I had something else to say. "I know the official date for this hasn't arrived yet, but I'd like it if from now on you'd all call me Helen." I got the biggest round of applause of my life. From that moment Mum and Alan respected this wish, and took to referring to me as 'she' and 'her'. That evening I looked in my mirror. Though I still looked like Harry really, with a different haircut, I did feel different inside. I was still two months off my thirteenth birthday, but I knew something that I wouldn't have imagined on my twelfth. I was changing from a male to a female and not only did I accept it. I wished it. The following morning I woke with a terrible fever and was rushed to hospital. I don't remember much of the next two days, I was tossing and turning. Though I'm assured my life was not in danger, you could have fooled me. When I woke up, on the Thursday I think, the first person I saw was Mrs Wood, my counsellor. "Hi Helen," she said. I realised she was talking to me and gave a smile, just a small one but it was all that I could manage. She came back three hours later and we talked, and talked. "What I don't get is how I went from 'OK, if I have to' to 'yes this is what I want' so quickly." "That was fairly common in America too, Helen. Sometime from a starting point of absolute hostility." "Just by talking to a counsellor?" "The hormones mainly. Maybe I have played my part." I smiled and wanted to say thank you, but found myself without the words. Instead I started to cry. She let me carry on for a while, and then she said "You had a fever, Helen." "That's all?" I thought I was dying. "Well, the doctors thought the fever was also reacting with the mixture of chemicals in your body." "That doesn't mean I have to stop having the injections, does it?" "Haha, well no. Though you will be taking the hormones by tablet form from now on. That change would have been made anyway. The injections are mainly to make sure the hormones go in. None of the hiding under the tongue business, but that's not going to happen with you now, is it" I laughed and confirmed not. "What the doctors had to do was removed your testicles. Your balls, Helen" "Oh!" It was an involuntary noise, but Mrs Wood took it as surprise. "You were quite ready in your emotional development, or I wouldn't have sanctioned it. You sanctioned it when you signed that form." So I did. I spent the next two weeks in hospital, and then resting at home. I might had been well enough in some circumstances to return to school, but when I did it was going to be a grand entrance! So I read a lot and tidied up my room. Well, cleared out my room really. A lot of things were thrown out and the room was redecorated. "Your child's room should be redecorated in an unambiguously feminine way" said the 'Parents guide to Operation Bella', and I went at it with gusto. All bed linen and wallpaper was replaced with delicate pinks. All rock music and fantasy posters were replaced by pictures of kittens and horses. Yes Horses! These were things I'd have certainly turned my nose up only three months previously. Now, they just reflected the way I felt about myself. Then, as a joke, I put up a picture of Adam Neilson, not the lead singer but the best looking out of 'Torn Apart'. Then when I saw it there I like the look he was giving me so I left it up. Still hated their music though. My ballsack certainly felt curious, and first of all I'd hold it between my fingers, just getting used to its emptiness. But soon my body asked me to get used to something else. With no testosterone my tablets had their way. To put it another way, I bloomed. The other thing I did then was shop. All my male clothes were now given away so I had a whole lot to buy. Amanda took me once when her schedule would allow it. It was that day I was measured for my first bra. I wasn't even wearing jeans these days, just dresses and skirts. I was given a lot of encouragement in this, and all the adults concerned with my case praised me for my choices. I'm not sure how much influence this had. I just felt like a real girlie girl. I'd more or less mastered make-up now, probably ahead of other girls of my age anyway. The Wednesday before Christmas I went with Mum and Charlie - Alan was away on business and it annoyed him that he missed it - to a small room in the town hall and signed another bit of paper. Only this time I knew exactly what I doing. It was a formality really because those first forms said this must happen, but this all made it legal and I did it happily anyway. Mum and Charlie were witnesses. Then the man gave Mum a piece of paper, which she handed to me because she knew how much I wanted to see it. It said that Helen Jade Chappell was born on January 16 2004 and that she was female. Under the terms of the act, birth certificates were to be changed - it was a sticking point right up to the last minute. According to this document, Henry James Chappell had never existed. For Christmas I got... Do you really need a list? Tops and skirts and dresses and jewellery and bracelets and hairgrips. I got my supply of feminine toiletries and more make-up and the Boys book of the Countryside 2017. Ugh, no I didn't really. I don't have any out of touch aunts who didn't know what had happened. I had a whole family round me who seemed to like having a new sister, daughter, niece, granddaughter. So I must have been doing something right. Three days after Christmas, Mum and I went shopping (Yeah, again, yawn!) and had our first mother-daughter bust-up. I needed a new bra - I was growing quite fast and now filled a B-cup comfortably and I bought two sensible ones and on that was quite lacy and cute and Mum didn't bat and eyebrow. It was the length of the school skirt that did for us. I wanted mine to be halfway up from the knee and she wanted it covered. Tried for a compromise - one of each. Not taken. I sulked. She got mad and called me a tramp. Uh! I got nervous the night before going back to school. I even had a bit of a cry. Was I missing Harry? Maybe, though for the last time I should think. I wasn't at all sure how I would adapt to familiar surrounding when I now felt like a different person. When I was last there I had just admitted I was ready for the next stage. Now I felt like a girl, through and through. In the mirror, with make-up, I looked like a girl, and my chest wasn't going to let anyone think different. But it was all quite easy. I said 'Hi' to Peter who then went off to play with the lads and I fell in with Fiona Simon's crowd. Just like that. I even managed - by showing how I stood out - to get Mum to get me a shorter skirt. For my birthday I got more girlie things and more, but that was fine by me. I kept taking the tablets and seeing Mrs Wood, though more as a friend now. I felt a whole lot older than the boys I'd played football with, and I suppose I was, with what I'd gone through. The only boy who called me Harry got a thick ear. From Steven Jacks. Alan bought me riding lessons, going on my choice of pictures more than anything I'd said. They were OK but I never persuaded my friends to come along so I stopped after the one course. I developed a crush on Adam Neilson and then tore his poster down when I heard one of their records at the youth club and remembered how BAAAD they were. (No, not because he came out as gay, that was the other one.. Kevin?) then I got a crush on James Granger, the formula one driver - note lack of boys in my class in this list! But, I was still only thirteen. If you're still reading, there must be a reason. Want to know what happened to the other four? Was my change complete? What am I doing now? Well they all went through with everything. Only Sophie (Chris) stayed at our school. Stayed logical! Didn't get popular. Chose her name from Classical Greece, she said. Hmmm! I still keep in touch with Daisy (Darren) - Yes I did try to talk her out of the name - and she is finding girlhood much as she'd hoped and she did have high expectations, remember! Bianca Spencer and Emma Allman are happy, somewhere, as far as I know. Was my change complete? Of course, though I did seem to have to wait a long time. First my hormone levels weren't quite right, then Mum thought I only wanted girl bits for sex. What, with the boys in my year? Anyway, the 'completeness' argument finally won out, though only just in time because Fiona's Mum said she'd take us both to the canaries for Easter 2018, and I wanted to wear a bikini in comfort. So a week after my fifteenth birthday, and more than a year after I became female as far as anyone could tell, a kind doctor (and you can look away now if you don't want to know the details) made a cavity between my legs, inverted the skin of my penis, used my ballsack leftovers for labia and made me a nice sensitive spot out of some left over glands. Just so two out of three boyfriends I might have can fail to find it. How sweet. When everything had calmed down swelling wise, a rather fussy nurse pointed out me where I could find my vagina and clitoris, then she took me to the Ladies and stayed in case I couldn't work out how to pee. But I had to laugh. Sitting there I felt so happy and complete. My face sort of filled out - OK I paid some money - your money! for a man to change it a bit. I suppose I do look a bit like one of the girls in our Charlie's mag - the one he showed to his brother Harry. But I did turn down Mayfair's offer when they were planning an 'Bella Babes'. So you'll have to imagine me nude. Long blond hair, 19 years old, 36D chest. No that's it boys. Quite enough detail. Mrs Dobson said I was a credit to the school and to Operation Bella, which was kind. When I qualified to do English At Oxford - Sophie is doing her Classics at Cambridge, thank God - she put my name forward as an ambassador for OB. Its still running though the percentage of boys who have to take part is falling away each year. Y-Factor lost its appeal when a possible trace on it was found and in 2025 the whole thing will have had its day. So in this year off my job is to visit boys who have just been forcibly assigned and help to soften the blow. It can be a bit traumatic sometimes, and there are some stories I can tell, but they will have to wait for another time. I do feel I'm the woman for the job though. I feel exceptionally natural as a female. I'll do it for nine months and then my rewards in the summer will be, and this is me as guinea pig again, to be the recipient of a womb and ovaries transplant. A woman I do not know, and who doesn't want kids, is the donator. Its a bit of a first for this country but I'm game. (Oh, and I want kids.) And when I make the news, remember where you heard the name first. Helen Jade Chappell. Post Script. Medical history was made today with the first birth given by an Operation Bella woman. Helen Emery gave birth to a 7lb boy, named Simon Henry. Mrs Emery, the former Helen Chappell, met her husband Ian while working on this paper. Mother and baby are both doing well. The End