Jamie
By Karen Elizabeth L.
Copyright 2000
Being a four foot, ten inch tall boy at the age of thirteen isn't
easy. I got teased a lot and I've never been able to put up with
all of the short jokes. Worse yet, the doctor's told Mom that I
couldn't be expected to grow more than two to three inches even
with my upcoming growth surge. I was stuck as a midget forever.
Tom Morris and George Harlon had just finished their daily round
of abusing me, you know the routine; "Does your Mommy know you're
here?" and too many other stupid jokes to talk about. This time
though they were going to pay, just like every other kid who had
abused me had paid.
Tom's red sportscar was the love of his life; I doubt that he
thought as much of his girlfriend as he did that car. That was
what I'd use to make him pay. I carefully gathered up a few piles
of dog crap in a plastic bag then dumped them all over the front
seat of his precious little car. I knew that he had a habit of
jumping into the car without looking so he'd never know what was
waiting until it was too late. Just for added measure though I
stuck the end of a pair of nail clippers into the valves on two
of his tires, flattening them.
George, as Tom's best friend, got a ride home every afternoon in
Tom's car so he'd also share in the delightful little trap I laid
on the front seat. Of course, the day being very warm and muggy
would only add to their enjoyment when they got into the car!
With two flat tires and only one spare they'd have to walk home.
A hot sunny day, smelling like fresh dog crap, my targets would
certainly remember this day!
Unfortunately, their parents were none too thrilled about
cleaning the clothes that Tom and George wore or the front seat
of the car. I got called into the Vice Principal's office the
next day along with my mother.
"This makes the third time this month I've had to discipline you
Jim," The vice principal solemnly intoned. "What do you have to
say for yourself?"
"Only three times" I joked. "Guess I'm having a bad month, I'll
try harder though!"
For some strange reason the Vice Principal didn't think I was
funny. "No, you won't try harder here young man. I've had nothing
but trouble with you for the last three years. You spend more
time in my office than I do."
"Do you see a problem?" I asked flippantly. "Let's hope the
principal doesn't find out that you're shirking your job."
His face turned the same color as Tom's car and his veins bulged
in his neck. "You won't be the one to tell him," The vice
principal screamed. "As of today you have to find another school.
You're expelled!"
"Please wait," Mom pleaded. "He'll change, I promise he will."
"I'm sorry Mrs. Koor, but you've said that too many times." He
told Mom as he handed her the official papers. I'm afraid it's
just too late. I wish you luck with James but I doubt you'll have
it."
Mom was in tears as we left the school. Who would've figured
they'd actually expel me? Didn't I have a right to an education?
"We'll work something out," I casually remarked as we got into
our car. "Riverglenn isn't the only school in the world."
"It's more than that you troublemaking little snot!" Mom snarled.
"There's a summons waiting for us at home. It seems that Tom's
family has decided to press charges for the damage you did to his
car."
"Hey," I shrugged. "He shouldn't have been messing with me. He
got what he deserved."
I got the back of my mother's hand across my mouth. "You don't
get it, do you?" She screamed. "They want to have you declared
incorrigible and sent away to a juvenile detention center until
you're eighteen. Then they'd like to have your useless butt
thrown in jail for the rest of your life!"
"Never happen," I said flippantly just before Mom's hand lashed
out again.
"Just shut up!" She yelled. "Not another word until I say so!"
When the hearing finally came I was stunned. The judge heard
everyone's story then pronounced me guilty as charged. One week
later Mom and I returned to hear the judge pass the sentence he
had decided on. Not only could I be sent away, the judge was
recommending it! I wanted to cry when I heard the judge sentence
me to the next five years in a detention center.
"Please your honor," Mom begged and cried. "He's all that I have
since my husband died years ago. I know he's a problem but for
God's sake there must be another way. I couldn't go on without
him."
The judge thought for a moment then shook his head. "I don't
think that he deserves it, but I will give you another chance. My
secretary will give you the name of a psychologist that has
worked wonders with delinquent boys in the past. Make an
appointment and talk to the lady, if you can reach some agreement
I'll suspend the sentence."
"Thank you, your honor." Mom cried. "I promise that we'll work
something out, whatever it may take."
I felt like Mom had sold out by giving into the judge but I
figured that seeing a shrink was better than five years in a
kid's jail. Mom made an appointment but to my surprise the lady
wanted to see Mom alone for the first several visits. It was only
after Mom had met with her five times already that I was to go
one the sixth visit. Seemed goofy to me, if I'm the one who has
to see a shrink, why was Mom the only one going? Of course, it
didn't matter, I really didn't want to see a shrink, and it was
just a way to stay out of kiddy prison.
Mom gave our names to the receptionist and we were led to a small
office where we met the shrink, a woman named Mrs. Donigan. She
and Mom talked for a few minutes about how I'd been a problem
since my Dad died four years ago.
"Without a male influence, he's become uncontrollable." Mom told
her. "I hope this will work."
"It hasn't failed yet," Mrs. Donigan smiled. "Fifty patients in
the last three years and not a single complaint."
"Then let's get on with it," Mom sighed. "I just wish..."
"I know Linda," The shrink told her. "If there was any other way,
we'd certainly try that first."
Turning to me she smiled. "I'd like to speak to your Mom
privately in the hall. Would you give us a minute please?"
I shrugged and nodded my head. Mom brushed my long, unkempt, hair
away from my eyes and gave me a funny look before she walked out.
Mrs. Donigan smiled at me and put a CD into a stereo behind her
desk. "Something to listen to while I talk to your Mom." She
smiled at me one last time then followed Mom out of the office.
I heard a familiar hit song start to play but that's all I
remembered until Mom and the shrink came back. By then the music
had stopped and I was rubbing my eyes, feeling bored and a little
sleepy.
"All right Jimmy," Mrs. Donigan told me. "I guess you want to
know what's going to happen to you?"
"Hey, I talk, you listen. What's so tough about that?" I asked.
"No dear," Mom said firmly. "Mrs. Donigan and I are going to make
some changes in your life. You probably won't like them now but
you'll get used to them and you'll probably even start to enjoy
your new life."
"What new life? I thought I was coming to talk while she
listens."
"No dear, that's not it." Mom said softly. "I've had a few
meetings with Mrs. Donigan here and we decided that there wasn't
a thing to talk to you about. You and I have tried that in the
past and it never worked. It's time to quit talking and make a
few changes."
"Like what?" I asked, feeling ticked off. What nerve they had to
talk about me behind my back.
Mom started to talk but she couldn't seem to get the words out
right. "You're too aggressive... I can't handle it... going to
calm you down..."
She shook her head and gave up. "I can't do it," She told Mrs.
Donigan. "Will you please take over?"
Mrs. Donigan nodded to Mom then turned to me. "What your Mom is
trying to say is that you've become far too aggressive since your
puberty started. You should have had an adult male to channel
that aggression but that couldn't be. You're mother and I have
agreed that if your over aggressive male behavior is left
unchecked, you'll end up either in prison or dead. Since she
doesn't want to see either happen we've decided to take steps to
calm you down, make you easier to get along with."
"We're going to turn you into a little girl." Mom blurted out.
"Are you nuts?" I laughed. "Just wave a magic wand and make me
into a sissy?"
"Not a sissy Jamie," Mrs. Donigan said firmly. "Only boys can be
sissies and you won't be a boy."
"You're nuts, both of you!" I shouted. "You can't just start
calling me Jamie and expect me to be a prissy little girl, it'll
never happen."
"Watch the tape Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told me as she turned on the
small TV next to her desk and slid a tape into the VCR.
I couldn't believe my eyes! There on the tape was a boy who
looked just like me being led into a room by a woman who looked
just like my mother. The woman told the boy to go behind a
screen, take his clothes off and hand them to her. She then
handed him back a pair of girl's underpants and a Tee shirt. He
stepped out from behind the screen dressed in girl's underwear
and stood calmly while the woman put a slip, dress, socks and
shoes on him. She kissed him on the cheek and pointed to a table
filled with baby dolls. The boy skipped over to the table and
spent a long time playing "Mommy" to his "babies".
"This is a fantastic tape," I laughed. "It's great, but it's not
me."
"Take off your shoes and socks Jamie." Mrs. Donigan ordered.
Suddenly I felt like I just had to get my shoes and socks off and
wasted no time in doing so. When I peeled off my socks I couldn't
believe my eyes, my toenails were painted pink!
"Loosen your belt and open your pants Jamie." Mrs. Donigan
ordered while I stared at my toes. "Feel your underwear."
I did as I was told and recoiled in shock as my hand touched a
pair of silky, girl's underpants!
"How?" I stammered. "How could you..."
"The music you listened to hypnotized you Jamie." Mrs. Donigan
explained. "It made you temporarily willing to do anything your
Mom asked of you."
"It better never happen again!" I insisted. "Do you understand?"
"No Jamie, you better understand." Mom broke in. "From now on
you'll do as you're told. The music also left a post hypnotic
suggestion in your brain, it can't keep you calm forever but it
will keep you obedient long enough to make a sweet little girl
out of you. After that, the hormones will take over and you won't
have a choice."
"I have a choice now and I won't do it." I insisted. "I'll run
away, you can't stop me from doing that."
Mom smiled. "All right Jamie honey, put my lipstick back please."
I thought she was nuts until I saw the tube of lipstick in my
hand and tasted it on my lips.
"Tell me I didn't just put your lipstick on." I asked hesitantly.
"Mom smiled again and handed me her compact. Sure enough, the
face staring back at me had lipstick on.
"I don't remember anything," I cried. "What's happening to me?"
"Just a demonstration of how obedient you really will be," Mom
smiled. "Besides it's already too late to run away."
I looked at her quizzically.
"Do you feel just a little soreness on the inside of your left
thigh, right about here?" She asked, motioning with her hand.
"A little, now that you mention it. Why?"
"A time release implant of female hormones," Mom coldly replied.
"That's why it's too late to run away; you're already on your way
to becoming a girl. You'll probably notice the mental changes
first; you'll take more of in interest in pretty clothes, and
playing girl games. The physical changes will happen in a couple
of years when you go through puberty. Right now there won't be
anything unusual for a nine year old girl though."
"Nine year old girl, what are you talking about? I'm going to be
fourteen on my next birthday and I'm a boy." I protested.
"No dear, you're my nine year old daughter Jamie." Mom corrected
me. "You haven't done well in school since you were nine so I'm
staring you over at that age."
"Not many people ever get the chance to go back and correct
mistakes made when they were younger Jamie," Mrs. Donigan told
me. "You're a very lucky girl."
"No!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "I'm a boy, a boy, a
boy!"
Mom gave me that strange smile again. "How old are you?" She
asked sweetly.
"Four... I'm nine but I'll be a big girl soon."
"And what's your name?"
"Jamie Lynn Koor." I heard myself say.
"Are you a girl or a boy, Jamie?"
I wanted to scream "Boy" but I couldn't, I just couldn't, the
words wouldn't come out. Instead I heard myself giggle and say,
"That's silly, I'm a girl."
"What's happening?" I cried, terrified of what had happened.
"You've just witnessed what will happen whenever anyone asks you
those kinds of questions Jamie." Mrs. Donigan said with a smile.
"You know you're really a boy, you know what you're real age is,
but you'll never be able to tell anyone."
"From now on you're my pretty little daughter, Jamie Lynn.
Right?" Mom asked.
"No!" I hissed. "I'll never go along with this stupid idea of
yours, I'm a..."
Suddenly I stopped in mid sentence. I opened my mouth to finish
what I started to say but different words came out. "I'm a nine
year old girl, my name is Jamie Lynn, and I like kitty cats and
puppy dogs."
Mom smiled at me. "I suggest you sit quietly and listen Jamie
dear, there's no point in trying to argue."
Mom and Mrs. Donigan explained everything in chilling detail. Mom
and I would be moving to another state where no one knew us,
instead of going to the ninth grade in the fall, I'd be starting
the fourth grade. The hormones being released into my body would
eventually change my shape into that of a little girl. As time
went on I would experience the same changes that any other girl
my age would experience. My body would round out, and I'd settle
into the everyday life of a girl.
"Before your body changes though you'll experience some mental
changes." Mrs. Donigan explained. "You'll be much calmer, far
easier to get along with, and you'll see the world differently.
In short Jamie, with each passing day you'll become a sweet
little girl."
I was horror stricken. "You can't really do that, can you? I mean
I'll always be a boy."
Mom shook her head "The hormones will do it Jamie, and no, there
is no stopping them. Soon puppies and kittens will be very
important to you, as will baby dolls. It's all part of being a
girl."
"No way!" I retorted. "I'll never play with baby dolls, no one
can make me do that!"
I saw Mom's lips move but I don't remember hearing her say
anything. Suddenly I felt very odd, I was holding something that
I didn't remember picking up. Looking down in my lap I shuddered
as I saw the baby doll that I was cradling in one arm while
feeding it a bottle. I tired to throw the doll away but instead
ended up holding it and pretending to burp it.
"What happened?" I asked trying to clear the cobwebs from my
mind. "Where did this come from?" I asked while still cuddling
the baby doll.
"You've been holding it for close to an hour now Jamie," Mrs.
Donigan told me. "You asked for your baby, said she was lonely."
I would have sworn she was nuts but I checked the watch in my
pocket and the time was right. An hour had passed without me
knowing it! Mom didn't know that I carried the watch so there was
no way she could have reset it.
"Why don't you just tell me that I'm a little girl," I asked "You
can make me dress like one, and play with baby dolls. Why bother
telling me about it?"
"The hypnosis would never last that long Jamie," Mom explained.
"It will last long enough to over come any temporary objections
you may have though. Once we get past them, the hormones will
take over and you'll start to think of yourself as a girl."
"My company has a division in Arizona," Mom explained. "I
explained everything and they've been sweet enough to get me a
transfer to that division so that I can have the privacy which
I'll need to raise my daughter properly."
"Am I going to be a girl forever?" I stammered.
"The arrangement with the court is until you graduate from High
School." Mrs. Donigan told me. "At that time you can make your
own decision as to whether or not you want to be a male again."
"That's in four years," I found myself thinking aloud.
"No, that's in nine years," Mom said. "Remember, you're just nine
years old."
"Please don't do this to me Mom," I sobbed. "I can't be a girl,
everyone will know and laugh at me."
"No one will laugh Jamie," Mom told me as she pulled me close for
a hug. It was then that she dropped her bombshell. "No one will
ever be able to tell. You're going to have an operation that will
tuck everything away and make you look like any other girl. If
you ever decide to be a boy again everything will be put back to
normal and no one will ever know."
I don't remember much of what was said after that, I was too busy
crying to hear what they were saying. Finally Mom dried my tears
with a tissue, thanked Mrs. Donigan for her help and walked me
back to our car. I was in a state of shock all the way home and
collapsed on the sofa as soon as I got in the door.
"Jamie, please come here." Mom called from my room.
For a brief second I thought about ignoring her but instead I got
off the sofa and walked to my room. It was like having no
willpower of my own.
"I bought a few things for you earlier in the week," Mom said as
she gestured towards clothes on my bed. "Aren't they pretty?"
I looked at the ultra fancy party dress, the socks, girl's shoes,
and underwear on my bed and wanted to run. Instead I just nodded
my head like a good girl and agreed with Mom.
"Let's get you all prettied up, okay Jamie?" She asked. "I just
know you're going to look so cute."
"Do I have to Mom?" I asked, saying a silent prayer. "What if
someone sees me?"
"No one will see you dear," Mom told me as she began to unbutton
my shirt. "And it wouldn't matter, we won't be living here after
a few weeks anyhow."
She slipped my shirt off my back and reached for my belt.
"I can't do it Mom," I said as I held onto my belt. "I just
really, really can't."
There was that smile again.
"I just really, really, can't wait to see how pretty I look!"
I wanted to die. Imagine me, a fourteen year old boy, standing in
front of his mother and practically pleading to be dressed up
like a little girl. Beaten again, I undid my belt and jeans. I
stepped out of my jeans and stared down at the mint green panties
with yellow flowers that I wore.
"How did you get these on me?" I asked out of morbid curiosity.
"You put them on yourself," Mom said with a silly looking grin.
"I just thought you'd like to wear something soft and pretty and
I was right."
I was about to make a smart comment but I found myself rubbing my
butt through the panties. "They are awfully soft, and silky. Mine
don't feel anything like these."
"They do now Jamie, " Mom laughed. "These are what you'll be
wearing. Do you like them?"
I wanted to scream at her and demand to be given my old underwear
but the silky feeling seemed to take over my thoughts.
"Yes, I guess so." I said timidly. "They feel different, nice, I
guess."
Mom pulled me close and hugged me close. "Everything's going to
be okay Jamie, I promise. No one will laugh at you or tease you
anymore. You're going to be a cute girl and I'll take good care
of you."
"But what about school and my friends Mom?" I asked through my
tears.
"Name two people who would miss you?" Mom quizzed me. "Any two,
teachers, other students, it doesn't matter."
I thought about it for several minutes then broke down into sobs.
"I can't Mom, there aren't two people who would care if I lived
or died."
"That's not true Jamie," she told me softly. "I love you and care
about you. I care enough to help you."
"By making me into a girl? How would that help?" I asked curtly.
"You're too short, and too thin to be accepted properly as a
boy." Mom explained. "Other boys would keep picking on you and
you'd keep retaliating. It would never end."
"But I don't look like a girl, do I?" I was afraid of the answer
but somehow I just had to ask.
"I'm sorry honey, but yes you do. You're actually a little
shorter than average but as a girl, that won't matter. You'll be
a sweet girl that everyone will love."
"But how can I be a girl Mom, I don't know anything about being a
girls."
Even while I tried my best to argue my way out of the situation I
was holding up my arms while Mom lowered this really fancy thing
she called a petticoat over them.
It must have been another of her suggestions but I just stood
there feeling silly in a sea of ruffles and nylon.
"You will sweetie, just wait. You're going to be taught all about
being a girl; you'll learn about clothes, and games, and how to
act and talk just like a girl. While you're learning these things
you'll also be conditioned to think of yourself as a little
girl."
"It's bad enough that you're going to turn me into a girl but I
would've been in high school, now I'll be some little girl in
Elementary School!"
"Don't worry honey, you'll grow up and be a young lady soon
enough, for now though you have to relax and trust me." Mom said
as she picked up the dress she wanted me to wear.
"Please Mom, not a dress like that." I cried as she picked up a
yellow dress with sheer, puffy sleeves, a skirt that seemed to go
on forever, and a bright yellow satin sash.
I had seen little girls wearing that type of dress. They always
looked so delicate and angelic, neither of which I wanted to be
or even look like. I couldn't even hope to pretend to be a boy in
a dress like that and something told me that if Mom ever got that
dress over my head I could forget about being a boy for a while.
I started to struggle but it was no use. Once again Mom smiled
and said something I didn't understand and the next thing I knew
she was buttoning up the back of the dress. Beaten, I stood
meekly while she tied the sash into an enormous bow then sat like
a good little girl, my hands folded in my lap, while Mom put lace
anklets and a pair of black Mary Jane's on my feet.
Thoroughly humiliated, I sat while Mom brushed out my long hair
then tied a yellow ribbon into my new ponytail.
"You look so pretty Jamie, why don't you look in the mirror!" Mom
told me after making sure my dress covered my petticoat.
I tried not to get up but my feet had a mind of their own and led
me straight to a large full length mirror where I saw this cute
little girl all dressed up for a party. I broke down and sobbed,
there was no way that little girl could have been me but she was.
I was a fourteen year old boy damn it, but the mirror said
otherwise. No one would look at me and see anything but an
adorable little girl.
"Tell me you honestly don't like the way you feel right now
Jamie." Mom pressed. "Try to tell me that you don't like the way
your panties feel and that you really don't like feeling the cool
air as it swirls under your dress."
"I don't like it Mom," I screamed, amazed that I had gotten away
with it. "I don't want to be a girl, get me out of this stuff!" I
twisted and turned, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't
reach the buttons that held me in my frilly prison. Without help,
I was stuck. Stuck as a nine year old girl in a frilly dress and
even frillier underwear!
Mom shook her head in dismay. "Calm down Jamie, I don't want you
messing up your new dress."
I refused to calm down though and began even wilder gyrations,
trying to remove the hated dress.
Mom said something, then she smiled at me and I immediately
calmed down. I stared in the mirror for a few seconds then my
hands began to flip my dress back and forth. Soon I was smiling
and giggling, twirling back and forth in front of the mirror,
like any other girl, thrilled to be wearing such a pretty dress.
"Good girl," Mom exclaimed happily. "I knew you'd love the way
your new clothes felt. It's fun to be a girl, you get to wear
such pretty clothes and they'll feel so much better than anything
you've ever worn before."
"It's such a pretty dress Mommy, I love it!" I exclaimed as I
rushed over and gave her a kiss. "Can we go out somewhere so I
can show everyone how pretty my new dress is?"
The kiss jolted me back to reality. What had I done, calling her
Mommy and begging her to take me out in public, dressed like
this? I couldn't help myself though; Mommy's suggestions just
seemed like so much fun!
"How about a trip to the mall, we can shop for some more pretty
dresses, would you like that?"
I managed to call up enough reserve will power to break though
the fog. "What have you done to me?"
"Nothing much," Mom said with a sly grin. "Just made things a
little easier on you. Shortened your adjustment period you might
say. You're going to think of yourself as a girl for a few hours
while we go shopping. And you'll call me Mommy from now on, I
think it sounds so cute."
Promise me that no one will know who I am, please Mommy?"
There were times I had begged Mom for a special present for
Christmas or my birthday but that begging was nothing compared to
the intensity I poured into my begging now.
"It's okay Jamie," Mom said softly. "Relax and be a girl, relax
and be a girl."
I stared at Mommy for a little while a feeling of warmth and
security flowed over me. What was so bad about going to the mall,
I wondered? Mommy would be with me and she promised to get me
some pretty dresses.
"Can we go now Mommy?" I asked. "I want to look at all the pretty
clothes!"
What was I doing? I didn't want to wear these clothes, I didn't
want to go anywhere, and I sure didn't want to shop for more
dresses yet I couldn't stop myself. I felt all excited about
going out with my Mommy, showing off my pretty dress, and
couldn't wait for Mommy to buy me more pretty things.
"Here's a nice little purse for you Jamie," Mommy said as she
handed me a yellow, patent leather purse with a big flower decal
on it. "I put some tissues in it for you and even a little
wallet."
I was so excited as I opened my new purse. Mommy had placed a
small package of tissues in it along with a yellow change purse
with some coins, and a yellow wallet with a dollar bill in it.
"Thank you for the money Mommy!" I squealed in delight. "Maybe I
could buy an ice cream cone while we're shopping?"
"It's your money Jamie," Mommy smiled sweetly. "You can spend it
on anything you like."
"Just like a big girl!" I exclaimed.
I held Mommy's hand and skipped through the parking lot at the
mall. Once inside I kept a very tight grip on Mommy's hand, there
might be bad strangers around and I didn't want to be separated
from my Mommy.
It was fun walking through the big mall with all those people. A
lot of ladies that saw me and Mommy stopped to tell me how pretty
I looked and what a pretty dress I had on. I wanted Mommy to be
proud of me so, like a big girl, I smiled and thanked all of the
ladies who stopped to talk to us.
We bought lots of pretty stuff for me like underwear, and PJ's,
dresses, and some play clothes too. I guess lots of girls like me
must like Winnie the Pooh because the stores had all kinds of
stuff with Winnie and his friends on them. I got a nightgown with
Winnie on it, another with Tigger, and a third one with Roo on
it. They're so pretty and comfy, I can't wait to go home and put
one on but I don't know which one I'll wear first since they're
all so cute!
Mommy let me pick out some underwear all by myself, which was
really neat 'cause I picked some real pretty panties with ruffles
and bows on them. Mommy said they're made of something called
Nylon, just like the panties I had on and the silky part of my
petticoat.
Mommy went with me into the dressing room and helped me out of my
dress and petticoat so I could try on lots of other pretty
dresses and clothes. I hated to take off my pretty dress and
especially my fluffy petticoat but Mommy said that if I didn't I
couldn't try on any new ones so I was a good girl and held very
still while Mommy undid my dress and helped me out of my
petticoat.
Mommy picked out a light purple dress that wasn't anywhere near
as pretty and fancy as my party dress but the material was so
soft that I just knew it would be so much fun and comfy to wear.
Next I had to try on a white skirt and pink top, which was soft
and comfy, like the purple dress so I asked Mommy to buy them for
me.
Mommy made me really happy when she handed me this cute blue top
with a big picture of a unicorn on it. It felt so nice and comfy
and when I put it on it fit me perfectly so Mommy said since I
was such a good little girl I could have that one too!
I also got a couple of shorts sets that were made out of a silky
material that gave me goosebumps when I first tried them on! They
looked so neat, I'd seen other girls wearing them and had always
wanted a pair, now I was going to get a whole bunch of them in
pink, purple, red, and light blue.
Mommy said that I didn't need dresses for school since I'd have
to wear a skirt and blouse uniform in my new school. I can't seem
to remember much at all about my old school, but Mommy said it
wasn't very nice and that I was going to have a good time in my
new school so I guess it's not that important.
I got lots of neat stuff that night, a couple of skirts, some
dresses, oodles of undies, shorts, and tops too. Mommy even
bought me a couple of pairs of stockings like big girls wear; she
said I could wear them the next time I get dressed up. When Mommy
finished paying for everything we took all of my new clothes to
our car then went back for the ice cream Mommy promised to let me
buy.
"Mommy, I have to go to the girl's room." I told her as I skipped
back to the mall. "Can you come with me?"
"Of course I can honey," Mom told me. "I don't want you getting
lost or meeting up with any mean strangers."
When we go to the ladies bathroom I sort of felt that something
was wrong but Mommy squeezed my hand and told me how much she
loved me which took away all of the bad feelings. I went into a
stall, picked up my dress and pulled down my panties to go, then
I put everything back the way it was so that I'd be just as
pretty as when Mommy put my dress on me. I wouldn't want anyone
to see me without panties on because Mommy said that I'm just a
little different than other girls but we're going to get that
fixed real soon. That night I put on a blue nightgown with teddy
bears all over it, curled up under my sheets, gave Mommy a
goodnight kiss, then went to sleep dreaming about all of my
pretty new clothes.
The next morning I woke up because I had a bad dream. I dreamed
that Mommy and I were shopping for new dresses for me when
everyone started to point at me and laugh, saying that I was a
sissy boy in a dress. I couldn't figure out why I would have such
a horrible dream until I got up to go to the bathroom and saw the
nightgown I was wearing. That was bad enough but when I got into
the bathroom and lifted the nightgown I found that I was also
wearing a pair of pink nylon panties with ruffles across the
seat. It hadn't been a dream, it was a nightmare I found when I
went to my closet and saw all of the new clothes. Mommy really
had taken me to the mall as a little girl and bought me girl's
clothes!
"Mommy, what happened?" I screamed from my room. "Please tell me
you didn't take me anywhere!"
"Calm down Jamie," Mommy said as she came into my room. "You were
the perfect little lady and had a wonderful time."
"But people saw me in that yellow party dress you made me wear!"
I cried. "They must have laughed their heads off."
"No one laughed at you Jamie," Mom said firmly. "Several ladies
did stop to compliment you on how pretty you looked. You were
such a sweet girl, smiling and thanking them. I was so proud of
you!"
Memories of holding Mommy's hand, skipping through the parking
lot, a breeze gently lifting my petticoat and blowing across my
ruffled, pantied butt, came rushing back to me. I could see the
ladies smiling as they approached us, leaning over to get a
better look at my dress and telling me how cute I was and I could
hear my girlish sounding voice thanking them.
"How Mommy, how did you do that to me?" I asked in wonder. "I
remember being such a little sissy in that dress, then trying on
other clothes."
Mom shrugged. "It was easy." She said with a laugh. "One of the
suggestions Mrs. Donigan and I planted in your brain was that
you'll become a little girl when ever I tell you to. You'll
forget all about being a boy and be the sweetest little girl a
mother could ever hope for. You spent half of yesterday afternoon
and all of the evening as a nine year old girl."
"Oh my God," I lamented. "You can turn me on and off like a light
bulb?"
"Sort of, " Mom giggled. "But don't worry; I won't do it to
embarrass you or anything. You're going to be reluctant to do
what needs done at first Jamie, so I'll need to use it to help
you over the rough spots. Once you get used to being a girl and
the hormones start to wok I won't need it as much."
"No Mommy," I started to shout. "It isn't right, you can't make
me think that I'm a little girl."
"You mean you're not my little girl?" I heard Mommy ask.
"You're silly Mommy," I giggled. "Who else's little girl would I
be?"
"Damn!" I hissed. "Quit that!"
"Just as soon as I'm sure you're really my little girl Jamie."
Mommy said slowly. "What do you want to wear today?"
"It sure won't be that dress again!" I told her. Suddenly I felt
confused. I loved my pretty dress, what was wrong with wearing it
again?
"How about one of your pretty new running shorts sets?" Mommy
offered. "I'm sure they'll be comfortable and I'll bet you'll
like they way they feel too."
"Okay Mommy, I'll wear the pink ones!" I agreed and rushed off to
change.
My ruffled panties didn't look good under my shorts so I pulled
out a plainer pair from my drawer.
"Now how did I get a drawer full of panties?" I wondered to
myself. "Mommy must have unpacked for me," I thought suddenly.
"She so nice, I'll have to give her a couple of extra kisses!"
I changed m panties and pulled on my shorts, noticing that they
looked so much nicer without the bulges from my ruffled panties.
I hated to have to take off my ruffled ones because they made me
feel so good but even these plain white ones made out of that
nylon stuff made me feel so pretty!
I brushed out my long blonde hair, grabbed a hot pink ponytail
holder off my dresser (I don't remember them being there before
but suddenly I've got a dozen in all different colors.), and then
ran out to show Mommy how I looked.
"Mommy, Mommy, my new shorts are so nice!" I called out as I
rushed to her open arms. "Thank you Mommy," I said as I smothered
her with kisses.
"My goodness, I'm getting all kinds of kisses," Mommy laughed.
"What's the special occasion?"
"I just wanted to say thanks for all of the pretty clothes you
bought me and tell you that I think you're the most wonderful
Mommy a girl could have!"
"You're most welcome Jamie," Mom told me as she held me tight.
"I'm just happy to have such a sweet, pretty little girl like you
for a daughter."
We hugged each other for a couple of minutes before I suddenly
realized what I had done. I started to tense up but then I heard
Mommy's soft voice.
"Calm down Jamie," She was telling me. "Everything's okay."
"How can it be okay?" I sobbed pitifully. "I'm all dressed up
like a little girl waiting for her Mommy to fix her ponytail. I
just took off a pair of sissy looking panties, but put on another
pair of panties instead of my own underwear. Speaking of which,
how did I get a drawer full of panties and where is my
underwear?"
"You are a little girl Jamie, there's nothing wrong with dressing
like one. Your old underwear, and all of your old clothes are
gone. You have a lot of pretty outfits now so you won't need
those ugly boy clothes anymore."
"No, you can't do this Mommy, you just can't." I screamed through
my tears.
"That will be enough of that young lady," I heard Mommy say in a
stern voice. Then she whispered those words again, "Relax and be
a girl Jamie, relax and be a girl."
I started to feel funny. I knew she was making me think I was a
girl again but this time she wouldn't get away with it. I was to
going to fight these feelings with every ounce of strength I had!
A fog started to cloud my mind. I knew that if I let it in, I'd
become a little girl named Jamie again.
"What do you want to do today Jamie?" I heard Mom ask through the
descending fog. I concentrated as hard as I could but all of a
sudden I heard myself say, "Can I get my ears pierced Mommy? A
lot of girls my age have their ears pierced."
Good grief, what in heaven's name was I doing? I couldn't believe
I was asking Mommy to let me get my ears pierced. Hopefully she
hadn't picked up on what I had said.
"That's a wonderful idea Jamie!" Mom clapped her hands in glee.
"I think you're big enough to wear pierced earrings. We'll get
you several different pairs so you'll be able to match them with
any outfit you wear."
"Oh joy," I thought to myself. "Earrings for every outfit, what
more could a guy ask for?"
"Thank you Mommy," I found myself saying. "I can't wait to see
how pretty I'll look."
It was as if I was another person altogether. Where were these
thoughts and feelings coming from?
"Mommy," I asked. "Could I ask a question please?"
"Go right ahead sweetheart," Mommy smiled. "I'm listening."
"Why did I ask for pierced ears? I've never thought about them
before."
"Yes you have sweetie," Mom explained. "All of the things that
you've seen or heard little girls do as you were growing up were
stored in your brain at some point. When I tell you to be a girl,
you start to act the way you think a girl would. Don't you want
to wear pretty earrings?"
"Yes, I do Mommy!" I giggled excitedly. "I can't wait to get my
ears pierced and wear earrings like a grown up lady."
"Then it's all settled, we'll get your ears pierced this
afternoon and maybe an ice cream cone for being so brave!"
"Goody, goody, Ice cream!" I shouted while jumping up and down.
"I love ice cream!"
Once again, reality crashed in on my new little world. "Tell me I
didn't do what I think I just did." I asked lamely.
"Afraid so," Mom said with a sheepish grin. "Sorry, but you were
getting to be a pain in the butt for a minute there. I missed my
sweet daughter."
With no more room for discussion and no stomach for a tantrum I
waited for Mommy to dress then followed her to the car and off to
get my ears pierced.
Once we got to the mall I was dragging my feet, trying to delay
what I knew was unavoidable. Mommy had to ask me to walk faster
several times and I could tell that she was becoming irritated
with me.
"Pay attention young lady," She said sternly. "You can either
quit stalling and get this over with on your own or once we get
into the mall, I will put you over my knee, pull your pants down
and spank you! Do you want everyone to see your pretty panties
while I spank you?"
"No Mommy, I'll be good." I promised. "Please don't spank me."
"Good girl," Mommy told me as she patted me on the head. "Now
take my hand and walk with me."
I hesitated for a second or so until Mommy turned and gave me
that look. Before she could say anything I quickly grabbed her
hand and promised to be a good girl. What's really weird is even
though she hadn't told me become a girl I suddenly felt happy and
secure holding her hand and walking with her. Could there be some
left over effects of thinking of myself as a girl, I wondered?
Mom wasted no time, taking me directly to a jewelry store that
had a big sign advertising ear piercing. As we walked into the
shop I panicked and began to pull back. I ran out of the store
and sat on a bench. Mommy looked at me very crossly then leaned
over and whispered to me.
"You don't want to be nine years old, do you Jamie?" She asked.
"How about being fourteen and in high school?"
I nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please Mommy!"
Mommy had an evil grin on her face. "Fine, you can be a fourteen
year old girl in your old school. You'll look great with a cute
figure. I'll bet some of your old classmates would find you quite
attractive. You have ten seconds to get over there and get your
ears pierced or you're going back to your old school young lady!"
I didn't need any further prodding; I was on my way back into the
store before she could count to two.
"My daughter would like to get her ears pierced," Mommy told the
clerk.
"May I pick out some pretty earrings too Mommy?" I asked without
being prompted, hoping to make up with her.
Mommy smiled at me and I instantly felt better. "Sure sweetheart,
once the lady's done with your ears I'll let you pick out any
five pairs that you like."
"Thank you Mommy," I said in as sweet a little girl's voice that
I could. A second later I felt something cold against my ears
then felt a brief, sharp, pain. It was final, I now had pierced
ears.
That shopping trip ended with five pairs of earrings as Mommy as
well as a new hairstyle.
Mommy had kept the hairstyling a surprise until the very last
minute. We were walking through a department store hand in hand,
headed back to the car when suddenly she pulled me off to the
hair styling department.
"I'd like to change my daughter's style a little bit," She told
the stylist with a smile. "Something a little shorter, say about
to here." She pointed to just below my ears.
Mommy and the stylist looked over several books while I had to be
a good little girl and sit quietly. Finally they decided on a
style and I was led back where my hair was shampooed and styled.
Thirty minutes later I was walking back to the car with a typical
little girl's hairstyle of bangs and ends that curled over.
Mommy's last surprise was a bow, which perfectly matched my
running shorts, and top, which she tied into my hair.
"Was the haircut necessary?" I asked when I got into the car. "I
was behaving wasn't I?"
"You were wonderful Jamie," Mommy said proudly. "But I want to
make sure we remove all traces of the old you. When you look into
a mirror the only thing you should see is a pretty little girl."
She told me as I stared at my reflection in the car mirror.
She was absolutely right of course, with my new hairstyle, gold
started earrings in my newly pierced ears, my size and clothes; I
was the picture of a cute little girl.
"But I don't know anything about being a girl Mommy," I sighed.
"someone's going to notice that this pretty little girl acts just
like a boy."
"No they're not Jamie," Mom smiled as though laying down a hand
filled with aces at a poker game. "Aunt Patty is going to be
staying with us for a while to teach you how to be a girl."
"No, not Aunt Patty," I screamed. She was my favorite Aunt. "I
never wanted her to find out about this. Why did you have to tell
her?"
"She understands Jamie," Mom assured me. "She loves you and she's
willing to help you."
"By teaching me how to act like a little girl?"
"Would you rather act like a teenage boy in a little girl's
dress?" Mom asked.
Why did she always have such good comebacks? I could imagine the
laughter if people thought that I was really a teenage boy
wearing little girl's clothes.
"No," I said beaten. "But Aunt Patty? I'll be totally humiliated
if she sees me in a dress."
"She'll think you're a doll Jamie dear," Mommy told me.
"Actually, you look so much cuter as a little girl than you were
as a boy."
"Somehow I don't feel any better." I said as I absent mindedly
toyed with the elastic leg of my panties under my shorts. "When
is she coming?"
"Monday morning will be the start of girl classes for you honey."
Mommy announced. "You'll have to pay close attention because
we're moving in about six weeks."
I was up bright and early Monday morning so that Mommy could help
me pick out something to wear. I wanted to wear a pair of shorts
but Mommy insisted that I wear my pink dress with petticoats.
"Not that Mommy," I complained. "I feel so silly wearing that
dress."
"But honey, you look so adorable in that dress. I want to have
you looking just right when Aunt Patty meets her new niece."
Mommy explained as she undid a few buttons on my top.
"Please no Mommy," I pleaded. "I feel like a baby when I wear
dresses like that."
Mom thought for a few moments. Would you like me to help you
honey?" She asked in a soft voice.
"How?"
"I can fix it so that you'll like wearing a pretty dress like
that." She said slowly. "Would that help?"
"You'll turn me into a girl again," I said as tears started to
cloud my eyes. "Then I wouldn't be able to enjoy being with Aunt
Patty."
"No honey," Mommy promised. "You'll still enjoy being with Aunt
Patty, I'll just fix it so that you'll like wearing pretty
dresses."
"I'll still be me and have fun with Aunt Patty?" I asked
hopefully.
"You'll be James but he'll want to be Jamie and wear pretty
dresses, okay?"
"Okay," I agreed. Anything to spend time with my favorite person!
Mommy sat down on the bed next to me and began to talk to me.
"You've always liked wearing my clothes, you love pretty dresses
and wish you could be a girl."
I had very pleasant memories of making Mommy laugh by putting on
one of her dresses and walking around the house in her heels. She
would put makeup and perfume on me and call me Jamie. I always
had such a good time pretending to be a girl and it was going to
get better 'cause my Aunt Patty was going to spend time with us
and teach me how to act like a girl. Maybe Mommy will let me go
out as a girl again next Halloween!
"Time to get dressed honey," Mommy said to me. I hurried over and
got my petticoat, shoes, and socks.
"Can I wear that real fancy dress you bought me Mommy?" I asked
sweetly. "I got my petticoat and shoes and socks all by myself.
Mom nodded and I quickly pulled off my top and shorts and slid
the petticoat over my head. "It felt so nice to wear such silky
things," I though as I pulled it down and reached for the dress.
"Girls are so lucky."
"I hope Aunt Patty thinks I'm pretty," I giggled as I pulled my
dress over my head. "Can you button me up Mommy, please?"
I was all dressed and feeling so pretty later on when the
doorbell rang. I saw Aunt Patty's car in the driveway and rushed
to open the door.
"Hi Aunt Patty!" I smiled, as she looked me over carefully. "Like
my new dress?"
"It's beautiful Jamie, and so are you." She said as she gave me a
hug and kiss. "I've got a surprise for you."
"I love surprises Aunt Patty!" I giggled. "Can I have it please?"
"First I have to see if you're going to be a good girl," She
teased. "I don't give surprises to bad little girls or good
little boys."
"I'll be good, and I'm a girl!" I insisted, fluffing my skirt to
show off my petticoat.
"You're a sweetie," Aunt Patty laughed. "But you're still a boy."
Turning to Mommy she winked. "Do I have permission to make a girl
out of him?"
"I suppose it's okay," Mommy winked back. "But maybe we should
ask him."
"Please make me a girl Aunt Patty," I begged. "I'll be such a
good girl and I really, really, like to wear pretty dresses."
"I'm glad you like wearing pretty dresses Jamie," She told me. "A
pretty girl like you should wear dresses whenever she can so
people can see how pretty she is. Your Mommy tells me you're
going to start wearing them a lot more soon. Is that right?"
I couldn't believe it. I could easily call up memories of my
pending conversion from a teenage boy to a nine year old girl but
they no longer upset me. I was looking forward to being able to
wear pretty dresses, silky underwear, and be a girl.
"That's right Aunt Patty, Mommy's going to let me start fourth
grade over as a girl! Isn't that wonderful?"
"Yes it certainly is," My Aunt agreed. "But you'll have to learn
your lessons well, we wouldn't want anyone to know that you're
really a boy."
"I'll study real hard Aunt Patty," I swore. "I'll wear pretty
dresses and I'll act just like a girl."
Aunt Patty smiled, reached into the bag she had brought with her
and pulled out several baby dolls.
"What do I do with these?" I asked puzzled.
"You pretend to be their Mommy," My Aunt said as though I should
have known. "You hug them, sleep with them, and even have tea
parties with them. They're the best part of being a girl."
I shrugged my shoulders and took the dolls from my Aunt. I had
promised to be a good girl and I didn't want to upset Aunt Patty
so I held the dolls tight just like I had seen little girls do. I
don't know why but I felt good about holding and hugging my new
dolls, maybe this girl stuff wouldn't be that bad. Mommy had to
leave for work so I gave her a big hug and kiss then hurried over
to start learning how to be a girl.
For the next couple of weeks my Aunt taught me everything there
was to know about being a girl. I learned how to sit and stand
like a girl, how to throw a ball like a girl, and especially how
to dress and act like a girl. One day though I was feeling really
sad and when Aunt Patty asked what was wrong I blurted out. "I
don't want to be a girl, Aunt Patty. I want to stay as a boy."
"You can't do that Jamie," She said softly as she pulled me
close. "The judge said that if you didn't become a girl he'd send
you to jail."
"Then I'll go to jail." I insisted. "This is silly, I'm wearing
dresses and girl's underwear and even playing with dolls."
"You're a little short and frankly you're sort of cute Jamie."
Aunt Patty told me. "Do you know what the bigger, older boys
would do to you at the detention center? You'd end up being one
of their girlfriends. How would you like to be the steady
girlfriend of some guy who can't wait to get to your pretty
little butt? You could be his personal baby doll, I'm sure he'd
enjoy playing with you."
I felt sick to my stomach thinking about what my Aunt had said.
How could I have been so stupid? If the guys at school picked on
me, what would they do to me at the detention center? I could
imagine a few unspeakable things that they'd want me to do to
them and that was enough for me.
I straightened out my skirt and apologized to my Aunt. "I'll be a
good girl, Aunt Patty. I promise."
"I'm sure you will Jamie," She told me as she kissed my cheek.
"You'll be a pretty one too."
At that moment nothing in the world meant more to me than my Aunt
telling me that she thought I'd be a pretty girl. I became
determined to do anything I had to do to stay out of the
detention center. I wasn't about to become any one's girlfriend,
that's for sure!
Aunt Patty taught me how to play jacks, jump rope, hold tea
parties with my baby dolls, and the joys of Barbie. We used to
sit and play jacks with our skirts spread out around us or go
into my yard where no one could see us and jump rope or play with
the baby dolls she had given me. If it was a rainy day we'd spend
it inside playing dress up with my Barbie's or sometimes playing
with a toy makeup kit Mommy had given me.
Aunt Patty would sometimes take me on shopping trips to the mall,
just to get out of the house. One day I got really scared when I
saw a boy I knew from school walking straight towards us. I had
been out of school for almost two months and had completely
forgotten that it was a scheduled day off for my old school.
"Aunt Patty," I whispered fearfully. "I know that boy, he'll
recognize me in a second."
"No Jamie," My Aunt told me as she squeezed the hand that she was
holding. "Trust me, okay?"
I couldn't do anything else since by then the kid was right in
front of me. I wanted to turn and run but he looked right at me
and then past me as if I wasn't there. He passed us without a
second look and I finally started to breathe again.
"What did I tell you?" Aunt Patty asked. "Do you think that he
recognized you?"
"He looked right at me, but I'm not even sure he saw me." I said,
barely able to conceal my wonder.
"He saw a nine year old girl out shopping with her mother." My
Aunt explained. "He didn't know me so there was no reason for him
to look at you. You're very cute, but you're way too young to
interest a teenage boy." She laughed.
"I still don't believe it." I said in shock. "We went to school
together for eight years, we were in the same classes, but he
didn't know who I am."
"Face it Jamie, you don't look anything like you did. Would he
expect to see a boy he once knew all dressed up like a little
girl in a cute top, pleated skirt, knee socks, and saddle shoes
walking though the mall, his hair curled with a ribbon in it?"
I reached down and ran a hand over my skirt. I didn't know if I
should be happy or sad, all I knew for sure was that as far as
anyone was concerned, I was a little girl. Something inside of me
though found the experience thrilling and I asked Aunt Patty if
we could try to fool some other kids.
"Don't try too hard Jamie," She advised. "You don't want to give
them a reason to take a good look at you. Let them decided for
themselves that you're just a little girl, it's safer that way."
I was a good girl and behaved myself for Aunt Patty but I did
have one run in with a girl from my old class while I was trying
on a dress. I had unzipped it just a little too much and was
having a hard time reaching the back zipper to pull it up when
the girl saw me and offered to help. "That's a cute dress," She
said with a smile. "And you look very nice in it, I hope your Mom
buys it for you."
"Me too," I said in my best little girl voice. She smiled again
and walked away never realizing that we once went to a dance
together.
When we got home I was so worked up that I just had to rush over
and tell my baby dolls all about my adventure. I have to admit
that after weeks of playing with them I was getting very attached
to my baby dolls, all of which I had named. I took them to bed
with me and talked to them about being a girl before I went to
sleep at night. They were always very polite and good listeners.
One day my Aunt said she had another surprise for me. I thought
it might be another baby doll, which would have been okay since
my old ones kept asking to meet new friends. Instead she went to
her car and brought in this dress that made my heart pound.
It was very soft and looked just like a light pink velvet
material. I didn't even try to resist the urge to try it on; I
just wanted that dress so badly.
"Wait a minute here," My Aunt laughed. "Aren't you the boy who
hates dresses?"
"Not me, Aunt Patty, I'm a girl." I laughed, pretending to be
insulted. "I love pretty clothes, especially pretty dresses like
that one."
"My mistake," My Aunt laughed. "Someone told me that a boy lived
here."
I shook my head. "I've never met him, now may I try that dress on
please?"
"You'll need these too," My Aunt reached into a bag and pulled
out a package containing my fist pair of stockings and a pair of
shoes with a low heel. "I wanted to give my favorite niece her
first pair of heels."
"I love you Aunt Patty," I kissed her and rushed off to my room
to change. I was so excited, my fist pair of heels! I was going
to dress up just like a big girl in a pretty dress, stockings,
and heels.
Rushing to my room I quickly pulled off my sleeveless top,
stepped out of my denim skirt, and kicked off my sandals. I found
a pretty full slip with a little lace trim and a pretty pink rose
at the front and slid it over my head. In just a few weeks, with
Aunt Patty and Mommy's help, I not only learned to put up with
wearing girl's underwear, I actually came to enjoy it. The feel
of my pretty slip as it slid over my bare chest and rubbed
against my legs was so nice, much nicer feeling than anything
boy's clothes I wore. Now, as I sat on my bed and carefully
pulled on 1y first pair of stockings, I could hardly calm down.
Mommy and Aunt Patty trusted me enough as a big girl to buy me
special things like these pantyhose. They promised me that I'd
love the way they felt on my legs and probably wouldn't want to
take them off again.
I carefully pulled and tugged until I had the pantyhose all the
way up to my waist, just like the package directions said, and
boy were Mommy and Aunt Patty right! I couldn't believe how silky
my legs felt and when I looked in the mirror my legs looked so
pretty.
I carefully pulled on my dress then tugged it so that my slip
wouldn't show under it. Mommy said that a girl should never let
her slip show because it makes her look sloppy so I'm always
careful to check my slip after I put on a dress or skirt.
The dress was just so soft I couldn't believe it. It was lined on
the inside too so it felt like I had on an extra slip because it
was so slippery. I carefully put on my new shoes and stood up,
not sure if I could walk in them because they had a heel and none
of my other shoes did. Lucky for me they really weren't too much
different than my other shoes to walk in. Looking in the mirror
though, they were so different than my other shoes, so grown up
looking, not something for little girl, but shoes a big girl
would wear and I was the big girl wearing them. I brushed my
hair, carefully put in a pair of pink earrings Mommy had bought
me, put a ribbon and barrettes in my hair to match my dress then
hurried to show off for my Aunt.
"How do I look Aunt Patty?" I called out excitedly as I twirled
around and around making myself dizzy. This is the prettiest,
softest, dress I've ever worn. It's my favorite from now on."
"Come on Jamie," Aunt Patty took my hand and led me to the table.
"I'm not done with you yet. She told me as she painted my nails
to match my dress. "Don't touch anything with them for about ten
minutes," She advised. "They need to dry."
I nodded happily, unable to talk because I was about to burst
from joy. My nails looked so pretty and the shade was a perfect
match for my dress. Aunt Patty had obviously planned everything
out, no wonder I loved her so much.
I sat quietly watching TV and talking to my dolls while waiting
for my nails to dry. I wished that I understood why I felt so
happy wearing a dress and girls underwear, but I couldn't figure
it out. I should be out riding my bike, climbing a tree or
scaling a wall, but I was just so happy to be all dressed up and
looking so pretty that I couldn't imagine doing those things. Why
climb a silly tree and risk falling down when I could have so
much more fun having a tea party with my dolls? Mommy had
promised that once we got to Arizona she'd buy me a new bike, a
pink one that said "Barbie" in real big letters so I didn't mind
waiting.
"I talked to your Mommy Jamie, she can't wait to see how pretty
you look in your new dress." Aunt Patty smiled. "She wants the
three of us girls to go out to dinner tonight, okay?"
"That's so nice, Aunt Patty," I started to cry. I was so worked
up and confused. I wanted to show off my new clothes to
everybody. I wanted them to stop Mommy and Aunt Patty and tell
them that I was the prettiest little girl they'd ever seen. I was
a teenage boy who wanted to be the world's prettiest little girl
and I couldn't help myself, it was exciting to see people I knew
and not have them recognize me. Sort of like being invisible, I
guess.
I'd have bet the girls at school would have flipped if they knew
who the little girl watching them adjust their pantyhose and bras
in the ladies room really was. Too bad I couldn't tell anyone.
Mom was acting a whole lot different towards me. We didn't argue
back and forth much anymore, unless it was over what I was going
to wear. Sometimes she wanted to make me wear such babyish
outfits when I wanted to wear what other girls my age wore. Other
than that we were getting to be so close, I helped zip up her
dresses or do the clasp on her necklaces and she'd help me with
my outfits.
The best parts of it all though were the times when we'd just sit
and talk. Sometimes she'd let me lay on her lap while she brushed
my hair and other times we'd put each other's hair up in curlers,
especially if we were planning on going shopping or seeing a
movie the next night since we both wanted to look pretty.
By the time Aunt Patty left she had completed her job - I no
longer had a problem thinking of myself as Jamie Lynn, a nine
year old girl. We had spent weeks playing house, jump rope,
jacks, Barbie's, and any other game a girl my age would play. We
had gone shopping, to movies, and dinner with Mom, and no one had
ever thought I was anything but a little girl.
Aunt Patty did come to visit me one last time before we moved.
The day I had the operation to make me look like a real girl,
Aunt Patty came with Mommy and me and held my hand until I fell
asleep. Afterwards I woke up to see her smiling and holding my
hand again. "I brought you a little going away present," She
smiled and handed me a pretty pink bag with tissue in it. I dug
through the tissue and started to cry when I saw the blue and
yellow, two piece bathing suit she had bought for me.
"You'll drive the little boys crazy when they see you in this
sweetheart," She promised. "And when you get a little older, I'll
get you a sexy white one that will drive the big boys crazy!"
"Thank you, Aunt Patty," I wept happily. "It's so pretty, I can't
wait to wear it!"
"We're going to have to get you some new panties honey," Mommy
told me. "Your old ones will be a little baggy on you now. I hope
you understand."
"It's okay Mommy," I smiled cheerfully to make her relax. "I saw
some pretty bikini panties when Aunt Patty and I were shopping.
Could I get some like them please?"
Mommy's face instantly relaxed. I guess she was worried that I'd
be upset or something. She leaned over and held me so tight I
could hardly breathe. "We'll buy you the prettiest ones we can
find Jamie, nothing's too good for my little girl."
My bedroom at our new house would have made me furious just a few
months back but when I saw it I had this irresistible urge to run
in and explore every corner. I thought that the pretty pink walls
and white curtains looked so cute and my new bed was a canopy
style with ruffles that cried out for a little girl to bounce on
it. Mommy told me that I'd have to be very careful not to mess up
my white rug; she bought it since it looked so nice with the pink
walls. I promised to be a very good girl and make sure all of my
babies did the same. I didn't want anything to mess up my pretty
new bedroom.
It was so easy to make friends as Jamie and soon I had made lots
of new friends, we spent every day together playing with our
dolls or going to the pool. Mommy was so happy that I had
friends, I never had any before, and I guess no one wanted to
bother with me then. Now though, my friends and I had so much in
common; we all liked Barbie's, we all liked to look at and giggle
about the cute guys at he pool, and we all liked to dress up in
pretty clothes.
One day we were all at Nikki's house playing Barbie's when she
suggested we play dress up. I was sort of afraid to say anything
because I didn't want them t think that I was a sissy. While I
was sitting quietly worrying though another girl, Mandy, spoke
right up.
"I've got this pretty dress my mother likes me to wear, it's
green and has a real fancy kind of skirt and puffy sleeves. It's
so dreamy, I feel like a princess when I wear it!"
"I have this to die for dress that is so cute!" A girl named
Cindy added