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Devils' Food By Curtis Lemmon Satan slammed the fork down on his plate, smashing it. "Dammit, doesn't anybody cook from scratch any more?" he bellowed. His minions cringed, especially one particular little devil, who had just served his master dessert. It was Satan's favorite food - Devil's Food Cake, of course. But the Prince of Darkness had become increasingly frustrated with the quality of his favorite. Her personal chef had hoped that he'd like this one, baked from Betty Crocker's "New and Improved" recipe. "Bah, 'New and improved' my ass," the Dark One muttered. "That's just a way of saying, 'repackaged and re-priced.'" Of course it was. That was one of Satan's own tricks, one he came up with back when he spent so much time on Madison Avenue. Nobody reminded him of that now. No, Satan could be a witty and charming spirit when he wanted to, but in the throes of a temper tantrum, he was simply evil and irrational. The little devils scurried away, hiding under chairs, behind rocks or even diving into a firepit to escape his wrath. All except one little devil. He braved the glare of his fuming Master as he approached, holding something on a plate. "What the hell is that?" Satan thundered. "It's a piece of Devil's Food Cake, your wickedness," the horned minion said, raising the plate and bowing his head. "It was just about to win first prize in the Pillsbury Cookoff up on Earth... I was able to snag the last piece for you." "Hmmm," Satan rumbled, resisting the urge to blast this little weasel into an eternity of pain and suffering. "Let's taste it." No wine connoisseur ever savored his favored drink with anything like the care Satan examined the slim sliver of dark cake. He noted the rich, dark color - surprised and intrigued by the flecks of red - cherries? - in the icing and the white spots in the dark cake itself. He tested the texture with his fork, approving of the moist, yet firm cake and the soft, swirling icing. His excitement growing, Satan leaned over to sniff the offering. "Ahhh, this is the way Devil's Food Cake is supposed to smell," he said, causing his cringing minions to creep back out of hiding. Licking his lips, he prepared for the first taste, a small forkful, carefully chosen to include the right amount of icing and one of those curious white patches in the cake. He gently placed it on his forked tongue, closing his mouth to savor the flavor. He didn't have to chew... it was so light it dissolved there in his palate, releasing a burst of flavors that almost caused him to plotz. "Oy vay," he muttered. "I haven't felt like that since I was kicked out of heaven. The white is white chocolate... amazing. And the icing is almost a chocolate meringue - I can taste the bits of cherry and just a hint of orange." Satan smiled, and then dropped his fork. Instead, he lowered his head and simply inhaled the rest of the small serving. In seconds it was gone and he was licking the plate clean, anxious not to miss a single gram of that heavenly concoction. Ahh, gluttony was such a satisfying sin. Finished, he turned to the little devil who was still standing at attention beside his table. "Very nice, little one," he said. "Now get me more." The little devil cringed. "I'm afraid that's all there is, Master," he said. Satan's red eyes glared. He reached one of his claws forward and grasped the small devil by the throat. No words were spoken... none were needed as Satan simply drained all knowledge from the smaller devil. "I see," he said. "I see. You had better hope that I'm able to convince the artist who makes this to make me more of that magical cake. Now, leave me... I'm going to Earth." Satan arrived in Minneapolis one day after the completion of the Pillsbury Cookoff. Naturally, he was in human form, disguised as gray-haired gentleman, nattily dressed as always. He was waiting in line to check into the Hilton when a newspaper headline caught his eye: Cross-dressing housewife wins Pillsbury bakeoff In smaller type, the subhead explained: Winner disqualified after being exposed as a transvestite The article explained that Mrs. Robin Mallory, who claimed the Pillsbury Blue Ribbon with her white chocolate Devil's Food Cake, was disqualified after it was discovered that the "charming young mother of two" was in fact a cross-dresser, living in a homosexual relationship with another man. Satan read the quotes from the Pillsbury spokesman with mingled pride and irritation: "Our company represents true family values to millions of Americans and we can't allow our good name to be besmirched by a sexual deviate." The article explained that not only was "Mrs." Mallory expelled from the contest, but her winning recipe was destroyed - and since by contract all recipes submitted for the contest belonged to Pillsbury, this Mallory person wouldn't be allowed to publish anywhere else. Satan heard the chuckle behind him. He spun around and saw a shriveled old man in glasses, mouthing an unlit cigar. "Hoist on your own petard, Lucifer, my friend," the old man, who looked remarkably like George Burns, said. Satan chuckled. He never could get mad at God. "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time," he said with a little laugh. God chuckled too. "I have to admit it's a good one," he said. "Your anti- homosexual campaign has engendered more hate than anything since you had the racial fires burning." Satan shrugged modestly. "Well, I had to do something," he said. "With the fall of the Soviet Union, it was hard to maintain anti-Commie hysteria, and while there are still plenty of racists out there, it was becoming so unfashionable to be a bigot... well, I had to find somebody for people to hate. Why not fags - they're harmless, they're outnumbered 10 or 15 to 1 and I even found a few passages in your Bible that seemed to be anti-gay... it was a no brainer." God clapped Satan on the shoulder. "I always said you could quote scripture for your own purpose," the Lord said. "It's just so funny that you're screwed by your own plot. That was good cake, wasn't it?" Satan got a faraway look in his eye. "The best I've ever tasted," he admitted. God laid a fatherly hand on Satan's shoulder. "You poor devil," he said. "You were my favorite you know... and you've been a worthy adversary all these years. I'll tell you what, let's drop in on this Robin Mallory and see what's up." Satan had just a moment to give the Lord a searching look. True, God was capable of infinite mercy, so maybe his pity was real. On the other hand, he could be a devious son of a bitch (just read the Old Testament sometimes) and Satan wasn't sure what the old man was up to. But he had little time to think. In a blink of an eye, there were in a large, airy kitchen in a middle-class American home. A pretty young housewife - slim and blonde... about 25 years old... perhaps a bit overdressed in a white, floral dress and matching sandals with a three-inch heel - was bustling over the stove. The kitchen table was tastefully set with four places. The juice was already poured and glasses of milk stood by two of the places. "Where are we?" Satan asked. "River City, Iowa," God said. "The home of Gabe and Robin Mallory." The implications of that statement struck home. "That's Robin Mallory?" he asked in disbelief. God chuckled. "Pretty little thing... especially for a man," he said. Satan knew God wouldn't lie to him, but he had to see for himself. He used his x-ray vision to look under the woman's housedress. He saw a small pair of breasts (implants?), a narrow waist and slim, boyish hips. When he first looked beneath the panties, he saw a smooth female front... but upon closer examination, he saw that was an illusion, created by a rubberized restraint. Beneath that, he saw a limp four inches of evidence that Robin Mallory was, in fact, a man. Satan jumped at an unexpected noise... it was the toaster, popping up four pieces of toast. Robin pulled the toast out, quickly spread each slice with a yogurt-margarine spread and dropped it in a basket with four other slices of buttered toast. She... Satan found it hard to think of this feminine creature as he... placed the basket on the table, alongside several opened jars of All-Fruit. "Breakfast on the table... it's getting cold," she shouted in a clear, feminine voice. Almost immediately there was an answering rumble, like an earthquake. Satan realized it was the noise of two children - dressed as little girls (yes, he did a quick check and learned that these were, in fact, girls). They clattered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where they plopped down at the table. Robin immediately set a bowl of steaming cream of wheat in front of each girl. Satan realized that the two were twins - each about six or seven years old - and they bore an amazing resemblance to the woman who was serving them. "Mommy, can I please have some Maple syrup?" one of the girls said in a sweet voice. "Sure, Emily, dear, " Robin answered, getting the plastic bottle of Log Cabin out of the refrigerator. "How about you, Alex?" One of the little girls - the one wearing a pink jumper - took the Maple syrup and squeezed a stream of the brown liquid on her cream of wheat. The other, wearing jeans and a blue Disney t- shirt, cocked her head and made a funny face. "Do we have any honey, Mommy?" she asked. Robin looked back in the refrigerator. She reached for something. "Just a little bit left," she said. "Will this do?" The one called Alex examined the little plastic pooh bear critically. "Yes... thank you, Mommy," she said. The pretty transvestite leaned over and gave the little girl a peck on her cheek. "Honey for my honey," she said. "I'll get some more at the store today." The two girls were eating industriously. The cross-dressed "mother" returned to the stove. "Gabe... if you don't get in here now, you'll be late," she shouted. The man - a tall, broad shouldered man of about 30, appeared to materialize behind her. He was wearing a conservative gray suit, a white shirt and a red power tie. He was holding a folded newspaper. "Right here, sweetheart," he said, enfolding her in his arms and planting a peck on her cheek. Robin twisted in his embrace and the little peck turned into a deep, passionate kiss. "Mommy... Daddy, we're going to be late," Alex said with a hint of exasperation in her sweet little voice. The two adults chuckled, and then the man patted Robin on the butt and took his seat at the head of the table. He poured himself a cup of coffee from the silver pot and added one lump of sugar. He sipped the coffee, and then chugged down his orange juice in one gulp. By the time he was setting the glass down, Robin was placing his breakfast plate - half of it filled by a fluffy three-egg Western omelet, the other half filled with orange and green melon slices. After serving Gate, Robin picked up her own plate - filled with nothing but melon slices. She did take a slice of toast and spread a thin layer of All Fruit strawberry over it. "Jeez, this is like something out of Leave it to Beaver," Satan said to his companion. God chuckled. "Except I don't think June Cleaver had a prick under her dress," he said. The little girls chattered about one thing or another as they ate their cream of wheat and washed it down with a big glass of milk. Gabe was reading his paper, but he would occasionally interrupt and join the conversation. Robin was mostly silent, nibbling her melon slices and watching her little family with a beatific expression on her pretty face. "So what have you got planned today, darling?" Gabe finally asked the cross-dressed person across the table from him. "Oh, just the usual," Robin said, her hand fluttering in a feminine gesture. "The gym... a little grocery shopping... then I've got to pick up the twins after school. Alex has piano and Emily has soccer practice." "I might be a little late," Gabe said. "The chief has some big operation running today. But I'll call and give you some warning." "That would be nice," Robin said with a smile. "Hmm. Maybe I can fix something Cajun tonight. A little gumbo or etouffee? Then it won't matter if you're late." Gabe took the last bite of his omelet, laid his paper on the table and drained the last of his coffee as he was standing up. "That sounds great, hon," he said, walking around to kiss Robin on the cheek again. "Okay, girls... you ready?" The twins hopped out of their chairs and started to follow their father. But both paused to give their mother a big hug and a kiss as they left. "Be good, girls," she called after them as they went out the back door, grabbing their book bags as they left. Robin's eyes stayed on the door for a few minutes, a small smile on her face. Then she sighed, stood up and began ferrying the breakfast dishes on the sink. Moments later, she was singing softly to herself as she rinsed the dishes. "So what's the deal here?" Satan asked. God shrugged. "Well, I've temporarily erased that little fiasco in Minneapolis," he said. "I just set that up to get you here anyway. Nobody here knows the truth about Robin Mallory." Satan nodded. He had been wondering how the Pillsbury people had learned that this lovely creature was male anyway. "Obviously, you have something in mind," he said. God smiled. "You want her Devil's Food Cake, don't you?" God asked. "More than anything," Satan said. "Well, all you've got to do is convince her to go with you," he said. Satan nodded. That was standard. He and God had played this game a million times. "What stakes?" he asked. "I'm getting tired of AIDS," he said. "If I win, I give them the cure." Satan grimaced. AIDS was one of his nastiest inventions. But, oh, the memory of that Devil's Food Cake... "And if I win?" God shrugged. "Well, you get her cake," he said. "And... Oh, let's say Ralph Reed gets to be President in 2008." Satan smiled at the though. Just imagine the mischief his minion could work in such a powerful office. "Deal," he said. "Will 12 hours be enough?" God asked. "Plenty," Satan said. "If I can't land the little pervert by then, I don't deserve her cake." God looked at his watch. "Well, it's 10 minutes past eight... I'll leave you until 10 after eight tonight," he said. "I'd wish you luck, except..." Then he was gone. Satan took a few minutes to consider his plan of attack before materializing himself. First, he decided it would be a mistake to appear in his old man guise. He chose a new form - sort of a cross between Tom Selleck and George Clooney. He figured this little fag would go for that. He sat down at the table and took a deep breath... then materialized into the human world. "Good morning, my dear," he said brightly. "Oh, my God," Robin said, turning around and holding one hand to her chest. "Who are you? How did you get in here?" Satan smiled and did his favorite little trick. He flexed his fingers, allowing just a small spurt of flame to escape, and then materialized a gold-engraved business card. "Permit me to introduce myself," he said suavely. "I am the Prince of Darkness. I have many names - Lucifer, Satan, Old Scratch... When I'm in this realm I usually go by the name Nick Applegate." That was the name of the card he forced into her quivering hand. "What are you doing here?" she said in a voice that wasn't quite as frightened as it should have been. "I'm here because you make the best Devil's Food cake since creation," Satan said. "I had a taste and I had to have more." She surprised him with a smile. "So I suppose you're here to spirit me off to hell," she said in a surprisingly calm voice. Satan favored her with his most disarming smile. "No, I can't do that," he said. "No one goes to hell unless they want to." "Who would want to?" she asked. "You'd be surprised," Satan said. "Not that people say, 'I want to go hell.' It's just that God makes it so damn easy to get into heaven that you almost have to ask to go to my place. But quite a few do." Robin Mallory shook her head. "I'm afraid I won't be one of them," she said. Satan smiled. "You haven't heard my offer yet," he said. She gestured to the sink. "I have work to do," she said. Satan sighed and snapped his fingers. The dirty dishes were cleaned, dried and stacked in their places. The food was back where it belonged and the counter was wiped clean. A brand new red-checkered tablecloth covered the kitchen table. "Okay, Mr. Applegate," she said, plopping into a chair opposite him. "You just saved me 10 minutes. Make your pitch." Satan chuckled. He liked her matter-of-fact attitude. It was such a nice change from the typical run of terrified or greedy humans that he usually dealt with. "How can I do that before I learn what it is you want?" Satan said, smiling broadly... turning on the charm. "And, by the way, call me, Nick... Can I call you, Robin?" "Please," she said, offering him her hand and a broad smile. "Well, Nick, if you're not going to kidnap me to hell or make me an offer for my soul, what do you propose to do?" The Prince of Darkness shrugged. "I want to follow you around all day and observe your life," he said. "That should help me discover what it is you really want... then I can give it to you." Robin nodded, then stood up. "Fair enough," she said. "Right now, you can follow me upstairs. I have work to do... and no more finger snapping - you want to see my life, this is it." Satan followed Robin upstairs to what had to be the master bedroom. He watched her strip the sheets off the king-sized bed and toss them in a pile in the hall outside. She replaced the sheets with fresh ones from a closet, quickly and expertly making the bed. She tidied up the room, humming as she went, then moved to the bathroom where she picked up several damp towels, plus several items from the laundry hamper and carried them to the pile of laundry in the hall. Before moving on, she replaced the towels with fresh ones and wiped the sink. "I'll do the heavy stuff tomorrow, the tub, commode and the like," she said, turning off the bathroom light. She led Satan down the hall - she did let him carry the armload of laundry - to the twins' room, where she again stripped and re-made the beds. She also picked and re-hung several items of clothes and put up several toys. "They're sweet girls, but they're still slobs," she said, starting on their bathroom. "Especially, Alex... Five minutes in a room and it looks like a hurricane hit." Actually, Satan was surprised how neat and well-ordered the girls' room looked. But he didn't say anything, merely observing as Robin finished upstairs. She helped her guest carry the dirty load to the laundry room in the basement. She separated the colors on a large, flat table, and then loaded the whites in the washer. "Well, we've got a few minutes," she said. "Would you like a cup of coffee? "That would be nice," Satan said, following her back to the kitchen and sitting at the table where she served him from the silver pot her husband had used earlier. "Sugar? Cream?" she offered. "No, I take it black," he said, tentatively taking a sip. She poured herself a cup and sat opposite him. "Forgive my curiosity," she said. "But I was just wondering... where was it that you got a chance to taste my Devil's Food Cake?" Satan explained that he had obtained the last piece from her winning entry for the Pillsbury Bakeoff. "That's funny," she said. "I was thinking about entering that. But I decided not to... for obvious reasons, it's better that I keep a low profile in the community. I don't understand what you mean by my winning entry." Satan smiled. "Oh, the Almighty just had a little fun re-arranging reality," he said. "It's a little complicated, but let's just say I tasted the cake you would have made if you had decided to enter the contest." She nodded, still a bit confused. "Let me ask you something," Satan said. "How did you come to this... living as a woman and a wife and a mother?" Robin took a long sip of her coffee, obviously pausing to marshal her thoughts. "It's funny, but I don't fit the classic clich?s," she said. "Growing up, I never thought I was a girl in a boy's body or anything. I had a strong father and everything and a good, normal mom. I don't even think I was gay... not at first. "But guess I did grow up as a sissy. I was sickly as a baby and I grew up smaller and weaker than the other boys. I was never able to engage in the games and sports that make boys into men. I grew up small and effeminate. Everybody told me I was a pretty boy." Robin smiled and took a sip of coffee. Satan could sense a little of the pain behind the smile. He could imagine how tough it must have been for the young sissy, struggling with his identity. "I kind of drifted into homosexuality," he said. "I was so lonely and none of the girls were interested in such an effeminate date. But there's a certain type of man that lusts after pretty boys." "Perverts," Satan said, trying to sound disgusted. "Not really," Robin said. "I don't understand why certain desires are okay and other desires are perverted. I mean, some men lust after women with big breasts... others like oriental women... or women with big butts. Some like blonds. Some like redheads. Yet, all those are 'normal' while a man who likes other men is perverted. We're all the way God made us... we can't help what turns us on." "That's the way I figure it," Satan said, pausing to sip his coffee. "I never could understand why God's minions were so judgmental." Robin gave him a sharp look. "But you were telling me about yourself," Satan said, unwilling to be drawn into a theological argument just now. "Well," Robin said, getting a faraway look in her eyes, "When I was a sophomore in high school, I was seduced by an older boy. He was really sweet, but he was a football player and he was very much in the closet. He liked me to dress as a girl for him. I liked it too because it was the only way we could go out together, once I got passable. "You know, it's awfully easy to pass when you're that young. It got harder as I got older and my body started to change." Satan could understand. Humans were really very androgynous through their early teens. It was only then that the sexes began to differentiate themselves - the girls growing breasts and acquiring the feminine shape (narrow waist, wide hips); the boys growing facial hair and developing masculine muscles and a deeper voice. "Yet, you have maintained a very feminine appearance," he said. Robin's face clouded over. "I'm afraid my appearance is only due to a tragedy in my life," she said. "You see, when my parents were alive, I could not go beyond dressup. They didn't understand. I'm afraid my father was very disappointed in me... what man wouldn't hate to learn that his only son - his only child - was a sissy who preferred to dress and act as a woman?" Robin looked in her coffee cup. "Then God took Mom and Dad away from me," she said in a soft voice. "They were killed by a drunk driver when I was 18, in my freshman year in college." Robin stopped, unable to speak for a few seconds. Satan reached a hand a gently patted her hand. She favored him with a sweet smile. "You have to understand," she said. "Their death left me all alone in the world. I didn't even have Bobby - my first boyfriend - any more. But I had decided that I wanted to live my life as a woman. So I used my inheritance - Dad wasn't rich, but he carried a lot of insurance - to transform myself into this..." She used a sweeping gesture to indicate her new body. "It took three years of drugs and surgery to turn the boy I was into a girl... or at least a pseudo girl," Robin said. "The money ran out before I could take the final step. You understand, to me at least, looking like a woman was more important than actually being one. I used my last funds on cosmetic surgery, rather than... well, you know." Satan nodded. He knew. "I'm rather glad I did," she said, smiling again. But before she could explain, the washer downstairs buzzed. Satan had to wait until she ran down to put the first load in the dryer, then put the colored items in the washer. "Now, where was I?" she asked, refreshing their coffee. "You were about to tell me why you're glad you spent your money on cosmetic surgery and not on a sex-change operation," Satan said. Robin smiled, a bright happy smile. "Well, I imagine you saw the reason... the two reasons," she said. "The twins - they're yours?" Satan asked. "They think I'm their Mommy, but the truth is I'm their Daddy," Robin said with a chuckle. "Not legally, but biologically." "How is that possible?" Satan said. "Well, while I was completing my transformation, I met Sandra," Robin said. "She was a nurse, working for my cosmetic surgeon." Robin got a faraway look in her eyes. "Sandy was a pretty little thing, a tiny blonde with the most beautiful blue eyes," she said, blinking back a tear. "It wasn't just looks... she was a beautiful sweet person. I can't imagine how she stayed that way. She was a victim of abuse from a very early age. First, her father, then her two brothers... then she was practically sold as a child bride to an older man who treated her like a whore and beat her to make her obey him." Satan gave a sympathetic grimace. But secretly he chortled to hear the story. He'd have to look up Sandy's tormentors when he got back to hell. "Sandy was 19 when she finally escaped," Robin said. "Somehow, she put herself through high school, then nursing school. She was almost 30 when I met her - still beautiful and still sweet and loving. Her problem was that she was almost pathologically frightened of men. Yet, she wasn't a Lesbian. You can imagine how lonely she was." Robin sipped her coffee. "I was just as lonely, stuck in the middle of a sex change that wasn't going to end in a real sex change," she said. "We were both outcasts. We saw a lot of each other and just somehow, gradually, fell in love." Robin chuckled to herself. "It's funny... I was a gay boy-girl, who fell in love with a pretty girl," she said. "She was a straight girl, who never thought she would be attracted to a transsexual. I guess that proves that love does conquer all." Satan forced a smile, but all the talk of love made him queasy. "We got married - I was still legally a man at the time," Robin said. "She was almost 10 years older than me, but it didn't matter. I had dropped out of school, so she was the breadwinner. She made enough to support both of us, so I stayed home as the 'housewife.' I found I liked making a home - the cooking, the cleaning and all the rest. "Then Sandy got pregnant," Robin added, her brow clouding again. "The doctors warned her that it might be dangerous. She was very afraid... You see, I don't know how to describe this, but you see, in all those years when she was abused by men, she got pregnant several times... but those monsters who ruled her life made her get abortions each time. Apparently, one of those butchers did something to her... messed her up inside in a way that made pregnancy difficult and risky. "But Sandy so wanted a child. As scared as she was, she was determined to have our baby. So she quit work and moved home to rest. That meant I had to get a job. I found work as a secretary for an investment firm. They thought I was a woman... especially my boss, who was always trying... well, that's not important." Robin sighed. "Well, the day finally came - the most wonderful and terrible day of my life," she said. "Sandy was rushed to the hospital and delivered twins - the two most beautiful girl babies I've ever seen." "Emily and Alex?" Satan asked. "Actually, Amelia and Alexandria," Robin said. "But, yes, my sweet darlings were born on they day their real mother died. That's right, the delivery killed my lovely Sandy." Robin closed her eyes and mouthed a few silent words. By the pain Satan felt shoot down his spine, he knew she was uttering a prayer for her lost wife. The evil one forced a smile. "If it's any consolation, your Sandy is not in my realm," he said. "She must be... up there." Robin gave him a smile... not so much grateful as he'd hoped for. "Thanks for saying so, but I knew that," she said. "Sandy was an angel, even here in earth." Satan shrugged. "That's possible," he said. "One of the angelic virtues is that I can't distinguish them from humans. You wouldn't believe the number of times I've had some long-planned scheme foiled because one of my victims turned out to be an angel. They're all over the place." He squinted his eyes and looked hard at the cross-dresser sitting across the table from him. "You're not an angel, are you?" he asked. Robin appeared amused at the suggestion. "No... at least I don't think so," she said. "Would I know?" Satan nodded. "Oh yes, you'd know," he said. "Furthermore, you wouldn't be able to lie about it, not to me anyway." Robin chuckled. "Then I'm not one," she said. "I didn't think so." The noise of the buzzer from downstairs interrupted their discussion once again. Satan followed Robin downstairs as she emptied the dry white things on the large laundry table, and then switched the colored items from the washer to the drier. Robin began to fold and stack items on the table. "I'll iron these later," she said, nodding to the sheets. "So what happened after the twins were born?" Satan asked. "Well, that was tough," Robin said. "I had to quit my job to take care of them. But I had to work at home to keep us off welfare. I was afraid social services would get interested - you know, a transsexual father raising two girls. "I had a tough six months before I met Gabe. It's funny - he came over one day for the same reason you did... I won a cooking contest. Just a little local one, but it got his attention, especially when he heard that the winner was a pre-op transsexual. Robin smiled again, a happy smile at a happy memory. "He just swept me off my feet," she said. "It turned out he was especially attracted to girl-boys. Yet, he was a conservative businessman who wanted a fairly normal home life. Not too many transsexuals want to be homemakers and very, very few passable ones. "We were made for each other. We took it slow, but he helped me get over Sandy and well, it wasn't that long after we met that he helped me get my sex changed legally, so we could be married. He adopted the twins and took care of things so that legally he's their father and I'm their mother. "The girls don't know anything about my 'special' circumstances. To them, we're a perfectly ordinary family - and that's the way I want to keep it." Satan held him arms out in a helpless gesture. "Hey, I'm not here to threaten that," he said. "I want to help you." "In return for my soul," Robin said. "In return for your Devil's Food cake," Satan said with a grin. Robin looked at her watch again. "I've got to vacuum upstairs," she said. "Call me when the dryer buzzes." Satan let her go, understanding that she was using the time doing the routine chore to think about things. He used the time too, wondering if perhaps he should offer her the chance to be a real woman - a functional, biological woman? No, he decided. That wouldn't work. She loved her family... including her gay-oriented husband. The one thing he couldn't change was a person's inner self - if he changed her to a real woman, her husband Gabe wouldn't be as attracted to her. He would have liked to have brought Sandy back to her. That might have worked. Too bad the little bitch was in Heaven, not hell. He could have re-animinated one of his minions, but he couldn't touch one of God's souls. True, he could fashion one of his devils into a physical reproduction of Sandy, but the trouble with such doppelgangers was that it was impossible to duplicate a soul's personality. The new Sandy would still be a devil, not an angel. No, Satan knew he still had to discover the key. Whoa, it was past 10, leaving him less than 10 hours to go. He clicked his fingers to speed up the dryer (if there was one thing he could do, it was to heat something up). Instead of calling Robin, he pulled out the colored items and folded them on the table. Only then did he call her down. She gave him a suspicious look, but didn't say anything, taking most of the folded items upstairs to the storage closets. The rest she left next to her ironing board. "Well, if we're going to stay on schedule, the next stop is the gym," she said, grabbing a small bag and heading for the door. "My aerobics class begins at 11." Satan followed her to her car. He was pleased to see that it was a gas-guzzling SUV, one of his more clever creations. "Would it be too much trouble for you to turn invisible again?" she asked, carefully steering down the tree-lined street. "I don't want to explain to my friends who this handsome young man following me around is." Satan shook his head. He could go invisible, of course, to everybody except her. But then he couldn't talk to her. Well, he could, but if she talked back, people would think she was going crazy. "Hmmm," Satan said. "Let's try this instead." He thought hard, shifting his shape to its new form. "Well, what do you think?" he said in his new voice. Robin snuck a quick glance, her eyes going wide. She waited until the next stoplight to give her companion a closer look. What she saw was a pretty, athletic young woman, wearing a sweat suit and tennis shoes. "I'm your niece... Lucy," Satan said in his new feminine voice. "I'm visiting for the day and you brought me along to join in your workout. Will that work?" Robin smiled. "Almost," she said. "Better be Gabe's niece. My friends know I don't have any family left. You promise you won't do anything to embarrass me?" Satan favored her with an innocent look, wasted as she kept her eyes on the road. "Who me?" he said. "I told you, I'm here to win your favor. It wouldn't be in my interest to embarrass you." Robin, pulling the SUV into the parking lot of the strip mall where the health club was located, nodded. "Okay, Lucy," she said with a smile, "Let's us two girls go have a good sweat." "Lead on, Auntie Robin," Satan said, adding a girlish giggle. Robin, slinging the little gym bag over her shoulder, did lead them to the front door of the health club. She stopped at the front desk to sign in, then to pick up a visitor's pass for 'Lucy.' The feminized devil followed Robin down the stairs to the women's dressing room. The room was divided into about two dozen small changing cubicles... not completely private (they were open on one side), but private enough that Robin was able to change from her dress into her leotards without exposing anything. Not that there was much to see - she was wearing a flesh-colored gaff that covered her remaining male parts. Satan could see that the rest of her was all feminine - from the fairly small, but clearly female breasts (B cups?) to the slender waist, the rounded butt, the long, slim shaved legs and the small feet. No wonder no one suspected that Robin was, in fact, a male. There were half a dozen other women changing in the locker room. Robin appeared to know most of them, exchanging friendly greetings and introducing Lucy as her husband's niece. "She's a junior at NYU," Robin said, lying creatively. "She's pre-law... Lucy, you really ought to meet Gwen Henson." She introduced Satan to a trim middle-aged woman with the short-cropped hair. "Gwen's just about the best attorney in town, aren't you Gwen," Robin said. Satan noticed the lustful look in the older woman's eye as she checked out the pretty coed he was pretending to be. So that's the way she swung... he made a mental note to visit her (as Lucy) after this little caper was over. Lawyers were easy pickings. Robin and Gwen led Lucy upstairs to a large room with mirrored walls, where perhaps a dozen women in workout gear were already loosening up. Several waved friendly greetings to Robin, who began her own stretching routine. The class started at 11:30 on the dot. Satan was surprised how strenuous it was to follow the leader - a trim little redhead with her hair done up in braids - through the workout, while rock music pounded over the speakers. He felt the firm athletic body he had assumed start to burn, then turned off the pain and went through the rest of the workout on autopilot. He observed Robin, sweating heavily, but maintaining the pace while many of the other women slacked off. The torture lasted 20 minutes, and then it was over. Robin, wiping off the sweat, paused to swig half a bottle of water (not, Satan saw to his disappointment, one of the over- priced brands that he had foisted on the public), then began another stretching routine as she cooled off. Satan, pretending to do the same, didn't say anything with so many women around. He followed his prey back to the locker room, where he watched her strip, then don a bikini bottom (a full one, not a thong) and wear it into the shower. He followed, totally nude - and liking the way Gwen Hanson kept sneaking glances at his nubile, female body. Several other women were wearing swimsuits or bikini bottoms, so Robin's modesty was not out of place. "You doing anything for lunch?" Gwen asked Robin in the shower. "Not really," Robin said. "Lucy and I were planning to grab a bite before we hit the grocery store." "Why don't you two join me at The Garden House," Gwen said. "That's on your way to Kroger's. Satan wanted to refuse, but before he could say anything, Robin accepted, looking at him with an arch expression. Damn, it was after noon already... less than eight hours left. The Garden turned out to be one of those ritzy "women's" restaurants. Gwen was obviously a regular. The maitre d' fawned all over her, leading them to a secluded table, surrounded by potted plants. "As you can guess, the salads are wonderful here," Gwen said to Lucy. "The grilled fish is excellent too." Gwen ordered a chef's salad with a lo-cal ranch dressing. Robin, appearing amused at the interplay between the older woman and "Lucy", ordered a plain baked potato with a serving of no-fat Italian dressing on the side. "I'll have the 12-ounce strip steak, blood rare," Satan said. "Fries on the side and a house salad with blue cheese dressing." Gwen looked at Lucy curiously. "How can you eat like that and maintain such a lovely figure," she asked. "Oh, Lucy's got one of those metabolisms that burns up everything," Robin answered, "Don't you, Lucy, dear?" Satan gave a little shrug. "I'm just lucky, I guess," he said. Gwen chuckled. "You must be an expensive date," she said. "But that's good - make the boys pay." Satan decided to tease this old dyke. "Oh, I don't have time for boys," he said. "You know how it is. They all want the same thing... it's just so tiresome. Plus, they're so disgusting." Gwen swallowed hard. Satan continued to tease and tantalize the older woman throughout lunch, but he had to be careful not to go too far - he had to remember that his goal was to win Robin over. The middle- aged dyke could wait. The steak was good - Satan would have preferred it uncooked, but that might have shocked his companions - and Gwen graciously picked up the check. "It's my turn, Robin," she said. "You got it last time." Robin only put up a polite protest. Then they were in the SUV, headed to the super market. "She can afford it," Robin said. Satan gave his companion a curious glance. "A couple of slices of melon from breakfast... a baked potato for lunch," he said. "Don't you want more?" "Oh, I'd like more - your steak smelled heavenly by the way," she answered. "But a girl has to work hard to keep her figure. I have to watch my diet and work out every other day to keep my shape." Satan gave her a sly look. "You don't have to, you know," he said. "I could fix it do you have you have your perfect figure for the rest of your life, no matter how much you eat or how little you work out." Robin snuck a sly glance. "Gluttony and sloth in one fell swoop, huh?" she asked. Satan shrugged. "If it feels good, do it," he said. Robin didn't answer. Instead, she pulled into the parking lot of a giant supermarket. Satan - still disguised as Lucy - followed her in, grabbing a cart and pushing it toward the produce section. "I just love shopping," Robin said. "Most girls do," Satan answered. "Oh, I don't mean shopping for clothes and shoes and jewels and such," Robin said, bagging several Vidalia onions. "That's fun... but walking down the aisle of a supermarket, buying food for your family... that's heavenly." Satan put on a smile, as if he liked hearing her comparisons to his rival realm. He maintained the smile as she babbled on about her family's likes and dislikes. "It's amazing... the twins look so much alike, but they're so different," she said. "Alex loves apples and bananas and anything with tomato sauce. Emily is a nut for oranges and she prefers a simple grilled meat." "What about your husband?" Satan asked. "Oh, Gabe... he'll eat anything I set before him," Robin said. She paused at the seafood counter, picking up a pound of big shrimp, plus some fresh crayfish meat. "With a little chicken and some andouille sausage, we'll have a nice gumbo," she said. "And for dessert..." She looked at her companion with a twinkle in her eye. Satan bit his lip in anticipation. "You will be joining us for dinner, won't you?" she asked. "Is that an invitation?" Satan answered. "If so... I accept." Robin nodded. "In that case, I need some brandied cherries, a little semi-sweet chocolate and a bit of white chocolate," she said. "Don't forget Alex's honey," Satan said. "Oh, what a dope I am," Robin said, grabbing two plastic bears of honey off the shelf. "I almost forgot. Thank you so much for reminding me." "You owe me one," Satan said with a grin. She looked at him critically. "No tricks now," she said. "Not if you want me to make that cake tonight." Satan did his best to look hurt. "You misjudge me," he said. "I just meant you owed me a favor. Believe me, I can't trick anybody to go to hell. It has to be a conscious choice." Robin paused; ignoring the strange look Satan's words drew from a passing shopper. "I'm sorry," she said, favoring him with a nice smile, Satan smiled back, confident that his charm was working its magic. He tried to pay for her groceries, but she wouldn't allow that. She did, however, let him push the loaded cart to the car and load the bags into the back. In the car on the way home, he reverted to his masculine shape. That made it easier to help her unload the groceries when they returned home. It didn't take long to put the food up - some in the cupboard, some in the refrigerator. "Oh, look at the time," she said, grabbing her keys from the counter. "Let's hustle." Satan followed her out the door. "Where are we headed?" he asked. "To pick up the twins," Robin answered. "School will be out in five minutes... and we live 10 minutes away." They were only a couple of minutes late, thanks to one of Satan's tricks, distracting a policeman who might have pulled them for rolling through a stop sign and doing 45 in a 35 zone. When they pulled up to the school, there was still a line of cars - mostly station wagons and SUVs - lined up in what the sign called a "No parking... kiss and drop off only" zone. This was pick up and it appeared to be working like a well-oiled machine. As each vehicle pulled up to the front of the line, one or two or sometimes more of the kids in the mob just outside the school's front door would detach themselves and climb in. One middle-aged teacher supervised the entire process, waving friendly greetings to the familiar drivers - mostly moms. "Robin!" she waved to Satan's companion as they reached the pickup point. "Hello, Dana," Robin answered. "How are you?" Behind them the twins clamored into the backseat of the SUV. "Hey, Mommy," they said in unison. "Jinx!" Emily shouted, an instant ahead of her sister. Alex groaned in frustration. "Well, hello..." the woman named Dana said with a leer in her voice, leaving over to address the words to Satan. "Robin, you're holding out on me... won't you introduce us?" Robin, who had been twisted around, checking to make sure her daughters were belted in safely, gave her companion a mischievous look. "Oh, this is Dr. Applegate," she said. "He's an old friend, just spending the day with us. Nick, this is Dana Welles, the assistant principal here." Behind them, then next car in line beeped. Dana made a dismissive gesture at the impatient mother, and then turned back to Satan with a hungry smile on her face. "Are you going to be around long?" she asked. Satan could sense the interest in her eyes. He looked deep and saw that Dana was basically a good person, but she was so, so lonely. That made her vulnerable. It wouldn't be hard to lure her to damnation. He flashed her a smile that promised interest. "Not long enough," he answered her question. "But I might be back in town." Behind them came another honk, longer and angrier this time. One of the twins (Satan was watching Dana and didn't see which one) whined, "Mommy, I'm going to be late." Robin shifted into gear. "I'll see if I can set something up," she said, slowly rolling away. "Gotta run, Dana... bye!" Without taking her eyes off the road ahead, Robin addressed the twins in the backseat. "Girls, say hello to Dr. Applewhite," she said. "Hello, Dr. Applewhite," Emily said politely. Alex remained mute. "Alexandra!" Robin said sternly. "She can't talk, Mommy," Emily said. "I jinxed her." "Well, you unjinx her right now or a certain young lady I know will have to miss soccer practice," she said. "I'm sorry, Mommy," she said. "You're unjinxed... Alex." The other twin let out a long breath. "I'm sorry, Dr. Applegate," she said, the words tumbling out of your mouth. "It's-so-very-nice-to-meet-you-and-I-would- have-said-so-before-but-I-couldn't-talk-because-Emily-jinxed-me- and-when-you're-jinxed-you-can't-talk-until-the-person-who- jinxes-you-says-your-name." Satan laughed at the girl's passionate adherence to the rules of the silly game. "That's all very well, girls," Robin said. "But we've talked about being polite to adults. You can't let your little games interfere with that. Do you understand?" "I understand," they said in unison. "Jinx!" Robin shouted. She gave Satan a big smile. "Now we can drive in peace, undistracted by the chatter of magpies," she said. "I rather liked their chatter," Satan said, turning to see the two girls giggling in the back seat. "As a favor to me, won't you unjinx them? Please?" "Only if they remember to behave like little ladies," Robin said, still not taking her eyes from the road. "They're nodding, yes," Satan said. "They promise to be good." He exchanged a wink with the twins. "Okay, Emily... Alex," Robin said. "Thank you, Mommy," Alex said. "And thank you Dr. Applegate," Emily added. For the rest of the drive, the two girls chattered about all the momentous things that had happened to them in school that day. Satan could see by the look on Robin's face how much she loved hearing their childish prattle. Less than five hours left and he was beginning to realize how tough his job was going to be. Then finally stopped on a quiet, tree-lined street in front of a neat, wood-framed house. Robin helped Alex out of the backseat, then dug out a large notebook out of the back of the vehicle. "Don't forget your music," she said, handing Alex the notebook and taking the girl's hand and leading her up the short walkway to the front door. Robin punched the doorbell and within a few seconds, the front door was opened by a fairly attractive young woman. She gestured Alex into the room, shook hands with Robin, and then waved to the parked SUV. "Hello, Emily!" she could hear the woman shout. "Hello, Ms. Levitt," Emily, behind Satan, yelled back. He could see the woman staring at the SUV as Robin leaned over and whispered in her ear. He could have eavesdropped had he desired, but he knew she was telling the piano teacher about the handsome man in her front seat. "Now who was that?" he asked when Robin returned to the car. "That's Margaret Levitt, Alex's piano teacher," she explained. "Lovely woman. Graduate of Julliard. She should be playing for an orchestra somewhere, but she gave up her career to marry a man who turned out to be a real crumb. They were divorced last year. She gets by on a little alimony and by giving piano lessons." Satan could sense she wanted to say more, but was inhibited by the presence of her other daughter in the back seat. "Emily, dear, your bag is in back," she said, pulling to a stop beside the large playground area. The little girl pulled out the gym bag and was helped down from the SUV's high back seat by her mother. Robin, again taking her daughter by the hand, led her to the small concrete restroom near the parking lot. "Nick, if you don't mind waiting, I'll only be a minute," she said. Satan gave her a casual wave as she took her daughter inside to change, then disembarked from the vehicle and sauntered towards the soccer field, where a dozen girls were already at work under the watchful eyes of two adult men and an elderly woman. One of the men came over when Robin emerged from the restroom, carrying her daughter's clothes over one arm. The younger girl had changed into a soccer outfit - green short- shorts with a white T-shirt and black and white soccer shoes with high, thick green and white socks. "Hey, Emily!" the man shouted at the little girl. "Passing drills." "Okay, coach," Emily shouted, racing to join her friends kicking the black and white soccer ball back and forth. "Hello, Robin," the man said with a smile, but with a hungry look in his eyes-a look that was very familiar to Satan. "Hi, Jack," Robin answered. "Have you met Dr. Applewhite?" The man called Jack turned and offered Satan his hand. He was smiling, but the eyes said something else... jealousy? "Jack Burns is a sports writer," Robin explained a few minutes later. She had returned Emily's clothes to the car, and then led her guest to the small bleacher section, where they sat and watched the girl's workout. "He knows a lot about soccer," she continued. "I think he used to play in college. Whatever... he's been a great coach for the girls. "The little redhead... No. 33, that's his Kimberly," she said. "Sad story... Jack is a single father. 'Bout six years ago, his wife ran off with another man, leaving him with a little baby girl to raise. He's done a wonderful job with Kimmie, but I think it's kind of cramped his style a little bit. He's an awfully lonely man." Satan's ears pricked up a bit at that. Whether or not he got the cake, this was turning into a most useful reconnaissance mission. "He lusts after you, you know?" Satan said to his companion. Robin looked embarrassed. "He can't help how he feels," she said. "He's always been a perfect gentleman." "And you're never ever tempted?" Satan asked. "Tempted? Maybe a little... a girl can fantasize a little bit too," Robin said with a bit of a smirk. "But I'd never do anything that would hurt Gabe or the girls. Besides, Jack - and the others - all think I'm a woman. How would they react if they learned what's really inside these panties?" Satan didn't say anything for the longest time. He watched the little girls running and kicking the ball over the clean grass field, thinking it out. Finally, he turned back to his companion. "What if I could offer you a way to live out those fantasies - without risking your family and without worry about... you know?" he asked. "You could do that?" she asked. Satan shrugged. "Not easy, but, yes, I could fix it so you could seduce any man - or woman - you lusted after... without consequences," he said. "I could set up a mental barrier that would prevent your husband and children from knowing or even suspecting your trysts. I could fix it so you would be irresistible to the object of your desire. I can't change a person's desire, but I could fix it so you would temporarily become what your target wants you to be. For Jack there, you would be the woman he thinks you are. For another gay man, like your Gabe, you would be the she-male you are." Satan gave her an evil look. "Just imagine the possibilities," he said. Robin smiled back at him. For an instant, just an instant, he thought he had her. "I can imagine," she said, closing her eyes. "That's just it. My imagination's so strong; I don't need to live it. Not really. In fact, I think imagination is better than reality... less chance of anybody getting hurt." "But I told you, your husband and children would never know!" Satan protested. "Not them," Robin said. "What about, say, Jack? I know him. He's a good man. He's not looking for a one-night stand... he wants a woman to share his life. Part of the reason he's so attracted to me is that he looks at me and sees the wife and mother he wants in his life. I couldn't give him that - not without giving up Gabe and the twins. And I'd never do that." Satan heard the iron in those last five words (well, six if you count the contraction) and gritted his teeth. For a moment, the anger and frustration overcame him and he started to fume. "Do you smell something?" Robin, crinkling her nose, asked. Satan pretended to sniff, knowing that she was smelling the sulfur stink he exuded when he let his temperature rise. Quickly, he cooled down, conjuring up a brief breeze to blow the stink away. "I don't smell anything," he said, adding to distract her. "How long has Emily been playing soccer... and how come Alex doesn't play?" That set her off, a long dissertation about how different her twin daughters were. He face lit up, talking about her girls, but Satan tuned out the drivel - although careful to keep an interested expression on his face. "Ohmygod, it's almost four," Robin exclaimed. "I've got to go pick up Alex." So Satan followed her back to the SUV and sat quietly during the short drive back to Ms. Levitt's house. They arrived to find the student and teacher seated on a front porch swing, each sipping a glass of lemonade. "Hey, mommy!" the little girl screamed in delight, racing to hug her approaching mother as if she had been separated for weeks, instead of barely an hour. "Maggie, I'm sorry to be late," Robin said to the teacher, who was now standing by the swing. "No problem at all, Robin," the woman said. "I don't have another student today and Alex and I were just hanging out... right girlfriend?" "Right!" Alex answered with enthusiasm. Robin introduced Satan to Maggie Levitt. Her response was polite, but the evil one was surprised that she showed absolutely no interest in his handsome male form. Hmmm, he wondered, how would she react to Lucy? Robin eyed him curiously as they climbed back in the SUV and returned to Emily's soccer practice. They were just in time to see Jack Burns gather the kids around and deliver a final prep-talk before dismissing the team. The parking lot was packed with mothers and fathers, waiting to pick up their kids, and Satan was a bit dazzled by the all the introductions. Everybody seemed to know and like Robin Mallory. Obviously, the pretty transsexual had carved a comfortable place for herself in the community. What, Satan wondered; can I offer her to make her give this up? He didn't feel any more confident after watching the Mallory family interact before and during dinner. He watched the two little girls help their "mother" in the kitchen - setting the table, fetching items for the gumbo... even stirring the pot. "The secret is a rou?," Robin solemnly told her two attentive children. "You start with equal amounts of good olive oil and flour over a low heat. Then you stir until it's the color of chocolate sauce." Alex was looking at the bottle of olive oil. "What does extra virgin mean, Mommy?" the little girl asked. Robin gave Satan a little wink. "It's the first oil pressed from the olives," Robin explained. "That makes it the sweetest." Alex appeared to consider that. "But, Mommy," she said, "Cindy Fletcher said a virgin was a girl that hadn't been kissed yet." Satan guffawed. Robin shot him a dirty look. "That's not quite true, darling," she said. "You know better than to listen to Cindy." "Because she's a slut," Emily chimed in. "Emily! What a terrible thing to say," Robin said. "But, Mommy," Emily said. "Daddy said a girl who gives up her virginity before marriage is a slut... and Cindy told us she's not a virgin... she kissed Bart Simpson one day in the cloakroom." Robin rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. Satan was trying very hard not to laugh. "Girls, listen to me," she said in a calm voice. "In the first place, Cindy Fletcher doesn't know what she's talking about. Kissing a boy is not how you lose your virginity, Understand? Cindy is a silly girl, but she's not a slut... and I don't want to hear either of you talk that way about one of your friends again. Understand?" Satan listened to the exchange with interest and amusement. Robin had to explain that while kissing a boy wasn't the same as losing one's virginity, but that the twins were too young to start kissing boys or even talking about such things... and oh, by, the way, who wanted to tear up the lettuce for the salad? That distracted them. Robin gave Satan a rueful look and shook her head. "They grow up so fast," she said. "Too fast." Satan nodded, watching carefully as Robin got the gumbo going and began work on the Devil's Food cake. He knew from experience that merely copying the recipe wouldn't be enough. Some cooks just had the magic touch... and it was obvious that this young "lady" did. It took almost an hour to get everything ready - the gumbo (minus the shrimp, which would be added at the last minute), the salad and the cake (icing in the fridge, the layers of cake cooling on their racks). Satan then joined her two daughters in the study, where they listened while Alex demonstrated her latest accomplishments on the piano. The girl was surprisingly good. Satan knew enough about music - the gift was often enough to purchase a wayward soul - to understand that the girl possessed a touch of greatness. Not Mozart or even Van Cliburn greatness, but enough of the gift to become a celebrated and accomplished pianist. "You ought to send her to a special school," Satan said. "A school of the arts." "No," Robin said firmly. "She belongs with her family. She deserves a normal life. There will be time to exploit her talent when she's older, if that's what she wants. I've never understood the motivation to rip a child away from his or her home and force them to build their lives around a particular talent, whether it be musical, sports or acting. Do those children really have better, happier lives?" Satan knew that in most cases they didn't. "Well, they have a better chance at wealth and fame," he said. Robin shook her head. "And how many people have confused those two false goals with happiness," she said. "Surely, you know better." Satan did... but so many people didn't, which was one reason Hell was so well populated. Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Robin's husband. Satan was almost trampled by the two little girls who sprinted across the living room, screaming, "Daddy! Daddy!" each reaching to grab the man at the same instant. He enfolded each in his arms, and then handed his briefcase to Emily and his overcoat to Alex. The two girls happily carried their father's treasures away, while the middle-aged man enfolded his young wife in his arms and kissed her as if they had been separated for weeks, not hours. "Love 'ya," he told her as they clinched. "And I love you," she answered. Satan watched the little scene with disgust. But he faked a smile when Robin introduced him to her husband. "Dr. Applegate... it's a pleasure," Gabe said, making it sound as if it really were. Satan took a closer look at the man than he had that morning. "You look familiar, sir," Satan said. "Have we met?" Gabe looked his guest over. "No, I don't think so," he said. "How long have you known my wife?" Satan flashed his best smile. "Oh, we go way back," he said. "I knew Robin before... you know." He was curious to see if the revelation would have any effect on the gay husband of this little family group. But Gabe merely smiled without the slightest hint of embarrassment and clapped his guest on the shoulder. "Well any friend of Robin's is welcome in my house... any time," he said. "If you've known her that long, you know how special she is." Satan was surprised to see Robin blush. "Gabe, stop it," she said. "You want to clean up, relax a bit before dinner?" He shook his head. "Actually, no," he said. "I've been dreaming of your gumbo all day. I'm starving!" "Me too," Emily, returning from her task, added. "Me three," Alex, tagging along with her sister, added. "Me four," Satan added with a smile that made the twins giggle. Robin shrugged. "Well, everybody wash your hands and take a seat," she said, heading back to the kitchen to put the finishing touches on the meal. She returned to sit and hold hands with Satan on one side and Emily on the other as Gabe said grace. Satan felt discomfort, as he always did when someone offered a genuinely felt prayer, but he survived it without too much trouble. Robin served the salad and they started on that while the shrimp cooked in the gumbo and she heated the loaf of crusty bread. She served each a bowl of gumbo with a sprinkle of fillet. "Nick, I know how spicy you like it," she said, handing him a bottle of Tabasco. "But you might taste it first." Satan did, admiring the delicate flavor of the Cajun dish. It could have been hotter, yes, but he didn't want to spoil his palate for what he knew was coming next. Instead, he politely consumed his bowl of gumbo, listening as the family around him engaged in the kind of typical family banter that should have been so common, but was so rare in these days of single-parent households and working mothers. The father eagerly questioned his daughters abo