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When Worlds Collide Deanna Lea (c) 2002 This is a work of fiction, it does contain adult language, which is why I have chosen to give it an "R" rating. If you feel this subject matter is not for you then please find another story to read, or a site to visit. He was full of fear Filled with doubts and no Place to hide. She was free from A burden that really changed her life. On a fateful day at a certain time They were to meet and that's When their worlds would Collide. Chapter 1: Beginning On a certain day at a certain time events take place for two people that share similar backgrounds yet are so totally different. When these events take place the ultimate result will be that two worlds will collide. At a club on the near north side of Chicago called Gentry's a small party is taking place upstairs away from the regular crowd. A curious patron strolls upstairs to check out the action when he notices a group of women dancing and enjoying the evening. One of the women is dancing like there is no tomorrow. She's tall, looks Latin. She has gorgeous red hair that falls sexually off her shoulders. This very pretty woman is wearing a peasant blouse that falls loosely off one shoulder, and a skirt that is full of reds, blues, and yellows that are mixed in patterns of a happy South American celebration. Unfortunately the celebration comes to an abrupt halt when our young woman loses her balance and falls to the floor only to land very unladylike, on her butt with her legs spread, and her knees pointing toward the ceiling. Our lady also has her wig falling off the back of her head, and that's where our curious patron discovers the true identity of the young lady. But our story doesn't end here. As a matter of fact, it's just beginning. You know it's going to be a bad day when the phone rings before you've had your morning coffee. Bobby Montero was just thinking about getting out of bed when the phone rang and he slowly lumbered his way across the room to pick up the call. "Hello." The twenty-five year old from the Dominican Republic said in his broken English. "Hi Bobby, this is Brent Miller from WTRB and I've just received a phone call from someone that says they saw you last night at a club, and-well-Bobby-this is kinda tough to talk about but I'll just come out and say it, the caller said that you were in drag. Bobby, is that true?" Bobby's response was silence, without a word he hung up the phone. The phone rang off the wall for the next hour and a half and all Bobby could think about was the shame and dishonor he had brought to his family. Not to mention the fact that this could end what would otherwise be a fantastic career with the Chicago Cubs. Phone calls number two through two hundred were reruns of the first. Interspersed with calls from the Cubs head office. Bobby Montero signed a 16 million dollar contract with the Chicago Cubs in 1998. The same year he won Rookie of the year honors. Then in 1999 he won the Golden Glove award and in 2000 he won the MVP for the National league as they swept the Boston Red Sox in the World Series. It would appear as if Bobby Montero's future was sealed in success and fame, but he had secrets, secrets held deep within his heart and soul that would now be revealed and these secrets would prove to be his undoing. Bobby knew that he would have to pay the price for his indiscretion but he also knew that none of this would come to any good end. He walked from his bedroom through his living room filled with a big screen television, brand new stereo system, and every convenience imaginable, then to the garage where he kept his brand new metallic blue Mazda Miata and headed out towards Lake Shore Drive. Chapter 2: Not so nice running into you. Anna-Lisa Howell was a brand new woman, literally. Having just completed her gender reassignment surgery she was putting the final touches on her journey from being a very familiar face in Chicago sports to a woman that was building a new identity and a brand new life. Anna-Lisa Howell had just left the office of her therapist, Dr. Helen Dennis. The Doctor's office is located at State Street and Madison on the 18th floor of an office building that Anna-Lisa had visited on many occasions over the last two years. This time Dr. Dennis had two pieces of news that would affect Anna's life. The first was that Dr. Dennis no longer felt Anna needed to visit her on a professional basis, yet socially, she didn't want to cut Anna out of her life. The second piece of news was that within the next year Dr. Dennis would permanently move her office to Portland, Oregon. They hugged and cried, and promised each other that they wouldn't lose touch with each other. This was especially true because Anna-Lisa owned a home on Mt. Tabor on Portland's southeast side. When Anna-Lisa Howell left the office of Dr. Helen Dennis she thought to herself how happy and free she felt at that moment. This was a moment she wanted to savor for a long, long time. At approximately 2:45pm Anna was driving down Lake Shore Drive heading towards The Stevenson Expressway when from out of nowhere she saw a car in her rearview mirror moving at a high rate of speed, changing lanes, flashing headlights, honking horn, and driving very erratically. As if drawn by a magnet this car followed Anna as she entered the Stevenson Expressway heading west. Traffic was heavy with the beginning of the day's commute back to the suburbs. Weaving from lane to lane veering left then right it didn't take long before the car was on her rear bumper scaring the crap out of Anna. There was no way to get out of its way. Traffic in the fast lane wasn't leaving room for Anna-Lisa to move over, and truck traffic to the right was bumper to bumper. She had no place to go... The not so gentle tap on her rear bumper felt more like getting hit on the back of your head by a defensive back going 55 mph. That can be quite a jolt. Then the car backed off a little only to come back this time tapping a little harder. As she looked in horror Anna could see the driver of the other car waving his fist and screaming at the top of his lungs things that you'd only hear in a seedy south side Chicago bar. A third time the car came up and this time hitting her rear bumper with blunt force causing Anna to swerve to the right then the left and before she knew it Anna-Lisa was sideways in the center lane certain that her life was over. She sat there helpless, yet staring as this car that bore down on her more than 50 miles per hour Anna-Lisa was certain she was going to die The metallic blue Mazda Miata hit Anna's car near the left front wheel well just in front of the driver's side door. Bobby Montero was thrown from his car being hurled more than twenty feet in the air, landing on his head. Bobby had solved his problem. Chapter 3: Who Am I? After being rushed to Cook County Hospital, which was the closest trauma center, Anna-Lisa could only vaguely understand what was going on. Waking from time to time only to hear the medical team saying 'she's coming around, she's gone back into a coma, she's coming around.' It seemed as if this was her general condition for some time. Exactly how long, she was not sure. Through veils of muffled sounds Anna could hear someone ask, "Do you know who this person is?" "We checked her purse for I.D and the drivers license shows that she is Anna-Lisa Howell. Address is 545 Marlboro Circle, Shorewood, Illinois." Then Anna-Lisa heard someone else say Doctor-I-remember-that-name." Anna knew that they were piecing together the puzzle that she knew only too well. As she lay on the hospital bed Anna-Lisa could once again hear the uttering sounds of her caregivers. In her unconscious state Anna heard, "She was formally known as Allan Howell, ex-defensive end for the Chicago Bears." "That's right," the Doctor said. "Two years ago on the last game of the season Allan Howell announced his retirement from professional football, how did he put it? To pursue deeper issues that had long caused his life much distress." Anna thought to herself, 'Here I am lying on this table with tubes running through my body, all kinds of monitors hooked up to check every vital function of my otherwise mangled body, and they have to discover my true identity.' Fading into a very deep sleep, Anna-Lisa slips back to another time, 1985. Chapter 4: 1985 and beyond Throughout his high school, college, and professional football experience Allan had never told anyone about being Transsexual. Often there was kidding from teammates about not dating girls, or his very private life, and of course Mom always waiting for him to bring home that perfect girl. Well to Allan he was always that girl but there was never anyone he could muster the courage to talk to. That was until one day during his last year at the University of Oregon when Allan met a guy named David Covey. David Covey is a psychologist, writer and researcher in the field of Gender Reclamation and he was the one that helped Anna set a new focus on her life. Anna-Lisa recalls that it was David that confronted him about his/her gender dysfunction. Anna-Lisa mind wanders back to that day when Allan's college football career was soon to end and he would enter the National Football League draft. 'Profound Pizza is located on 13th street just a half block off campus, I was there to catch a slice or two and relax for a few minutes before my final class for the day. Breaking the solace of my sausage and cheese, I heard this voice over my shoulder say: "Hi Allan, my name is David Covey, I'm in the psychology department at the University, can we talk for a few minutes?"' Anna's body was wired with tubes. Monitors could be seen watching each vital sign, yet she still had David Covey on her mind. 'When I glanced up I saw standing before me a bespeckled man of about 35, tall, and starting to put on a few pounds. I thought to myself, typical academia in another few years he'll be so comfortable in college life that he'll lose sight of the big things in life. I would soon learn how wrong I was.' Anna remembered that first conversation, "I'm sorry for interrupting your lunch but I've wanted to talk to you for some time now." He said. I invited David to sit down and asked, "How can I help you?" "For the last month you've spent a lot of time in Sister Kay's Bookstore buying books that have to do with issues not discussed on the football field or in the locker room. I'll come right to the point, how long has gender dysfunction been an issue in your life?" "Okay, you caught me, I'm really a Lesbian." Allan's sharp retort didn't do anything to break David's stride. "You may wonder how I know that you've been a new and constant visitor to Sister Kay's, and I'll be happy to tell you. You see, my sister owns the joint and we had lunch about a month ago and she immediately recognized you. Before I go on, I want you to know that she has told absolutely no one else, and never will. Her question to me was, 'why has he (Allan Howell) been spending so much time in my store and each time he comes in he buys only books that deal with transsexuals?' Allan was agitated by Covey's remarks and was trying to shrug off his comments, he told him, "I'm not sure that makes me feel any better and I still don't understand why you should be so interested in me?" "Allan you're a good football player. You can think on your feet, your instincts are sharp, in addition you are very smart, and you have this deep-seated curiosity about life. Am I right so far?" "And so?" "You are concerned that someday, perhaps very soon, you may have to reveal your true identity. Am I right?" "Who the hell are you to come in here and give me all this crap about my life? I haven't asked for your help, and I certainly don't need your help, so, if you don't mind get the hell away from me, and let me eat my lunch in peace." "Allan, take my card, you not only need to find peace for right now, but you also need peace for the rest of your life. I can help you reclaim your life. I want to help. Please call me after you've thought about the things we've discussed." With that David Covey walked east towards the campus and Allan went back to his books. But the more he thought about it the more he knew David Covey was right. Chapter 5: David gets the phone call. "David Covey's office, can I help you?" "Yes, thanks, my name is Jason Benway, I'm a social worker with Cook County Hospital in Chicago and we have a patient admitted here with Mr. Covey's name to be called in case of an emergency, is he available?" "Mr. Covey is just finishing a class and will be back in his office in about ten minutes, if you want to leave your name and number, I assure you, he will call back." No sooner had Betty Wells hung up the phone, in walked David in somewhat of a hurry. "David you just had a call about one of your former clients that is now in Cook County Hospital and the social worker there wants to talk to you." "Did he say who the patient was?" "Something about Anna- something, I couldn't catch the whole name there was too much noise on the phone line." David snatched the message out of Betty's hand so quickly it actually took her by surprise, he normally files stuff like that, but not this time. "Bet, I'm going to be on the phone for a while, please no disturbances." "Sure, no problem." David Covey was the only person in the world that was allowed to refer to Betty as "Bet" They had worked together for so many years that theirs was not only a professional relationship, they were like family. Only David Covey knows that Betty Wells is the former Glenn Wells from Gordon, Nebraska. "Mr. Benway please." "Who's calling?" "My name is David Covey, I'm returning Mr. Benway's call. I'm calling from the University of Oregon." "Jason Benway here." "Mr. Benway, David Covey from Eugene, Oregon, I understand you have one of my former clients admitted to the hospital. How can I help?" "David, may I call you by your first name?" "Sure." "Yesterday afternoon a patient was admitted by the name of Anna-Lisa Howell, living in Shorewood, Illinois, do you know her?" "Yes, I've known Anna for many years. What happened?" "Anna was hit broadside on the Stevenson Expressway and she keeps coming in and out of a coma, but she keeps saying three names that we have no idea who they are, we're not sure if they're family members or acquaintances we should try to contact." Jason went on to say that for some reason 'these names seem to be important.' "I'll be happy to help in any way I can." Then without flinching David said. "The three names, are they Kimberly E. Stuart, Karen, and Renee?" "Yes they are, how did you know?" "Before I answer that, tell me what her condition is." "For right now she's stable but very guarded. Frankly, she's lucky she's not dead." "Jason, I can help, but I need to catch the next flight to Chicago, let-me-explain-why." David called his wife Elsie, asked her to pack a few bags and filled her in on Anna's condition. The next thing he knew he was on a United Airlines flight from Eugene, with a connection in Denver, and by midnight was registered at the Holiday Inn, just a block from Cook County Hospital. Before checking into his room, David called the hospital and asked about Anna's condition. She was still holding her own, but continued to mention the three names that only David Covey could explain. Chapter 6: "T" time Friday morning, two days after the accident, David Covey sat next to the bed of his long time friend, and former client. It was hard to know for sure what Anna-Lisa was thinking in that deep state, but one thing for sure, David felt she was going back one more time to have a final visit with the three women that helped her set the future course of her life. David explained the therapy he used with Anna and other clients over the years that had been diagnosed with Gender Dysfunction. His work had been regarded as brilliant among clinicians around the country. The gist of his treatment is to help each client realize that they were in charge of reclaiming their own lives and they, the clients, needed to find a way to connect to a source that would lead them on this journey. Each client had their own connection, it could be family, friends, or special events. And David Covey was the transporter of these connections. In Anna's case she had met three women over the years that were important in helping her realize that she could make the right decisions about her life, but each one approached it from a different perspective. David stood up in the hospital room, walked to the window, drew the shade shut and returned to Anna's bedside. He told Jason that he could remain in the room but he must keep absolutely silent, no interruptions, no exceptions. Jason agreed without hesitation. Before he started he told Jason that if he had a cell phone, beeper, or other device that might go off while in session he should take it out to the nurses station with instructions that they were not to be interrupted. Jason left for a moment, even taking David's cell phone with him. He even took his watch that beeps on the hour. The one thing of prime importance is that there must be total silence, no intruders. At this point David wasn't totally sure that Anna-Lisa realized he was in the room, but he very quietly started whispering to Anna as if it was a conversation between just the two of them. "Anna- Lisa, Anna, this is not how we had agreed we see each other again, now is it?" David's voice was soft and direct to only Anna. "Anna you have some very important decisions to make about your life. The first is do you want to live? The second is what are you going to do about it? The third question is do you want help from a few of your friends?" Anna now groggy from the medications forgot for a moment why she was there, she just couldn't figure out why. Her vital signs were getting stronger, but she wasn't coming out of the coma, only David Covey knew that she was going deeper, she was going back to see a few friends, and he had opened that door to help her make connection. Chapter 7: 1986 Naperville, Illinois Karen had achieved one thing if nothing else as a result of her announcement to change genders. Her career as an airline pilot was over and there was no way any other airline would hire her after what she had done. Karen sued her former employer for discrimination and lost. Now her life was very much like most other women that lived in the western suburbs of Chicago. Her life was now filled with work that pays much less than her previous job, she was lucky that her home was paid for, but her lifestyle had been altered appreciably. She now drove a car that was ten years old and required much upkeep. Her clothing purchases were minimal, she had to learn to make do with what she had, and the biggest problem that she had was that she still had lots of work to do in improving her feminization. Karen knew she still had lots of work to do, but was committed and focused on changing her life the best way she knew how. She also knew that she would never make the cover of 'T-Vogue.' Considering all this, for some reason Anna- Lisa Howell and Karen became friends. It all started like this. "Is Karen in?" "Who's calling?" "My name is Anna, Billie St. Croix from Windy City said I should give you a call." "You know Billie?" "Yes, we've met several times and she seems to think that you might be willing share a few insights about your transition experience-listen-I hope I'm speaking with Karen-Right?" "Yes, I'm Karen. Look I'd be happy to meet you someplace, just not here." "That's fine, how about 'Q's' 8pm. Do you know where it's at?" "Yeah, I eat there all the time." "Thanks Karen, I'll see you at 8." "Yeah, fine, I'll be there." Jason was in a far corner of the room listening, not saying a word, when from nowhere he heard a strange sound. Looking up he saw David Covey still in the chair, but he heard a different voice. He heard what he assumed to be the voice of Karen taking over David's body. "Hi Anna-Lisa, Gawd do you look like hell. Hey the good news is the docs say you're going to live, the bad news is, kid, that guy that hit you tore up a lot of stuff. Looks like you've got some busted ribs, broken shoulder, fractured leg, and a bunch of other crap, not to mention all the blood you lost. And then there's the plastic surgery you'll need." Jason swore later that he saw a radiant light that shone from David's hand to Anna Lisa's, trailing from her fingers right up to her head. Karen continued her chatter. "I remember the first time we met and you were so nervous on the phone not exactly sure how to talk to a transsexual, like is there a special language or secret codes that you should use? Then when we met the look on your face was priceless. That expression on your face was one that said: 'What an ugly broad' but you were too bashful to say anything. After we got over the rough spots the conversation became easier, and you relaxed." Anna Lisa is listening from some place in the deep recesses of her brain and she now understands that she has made contact with one of her old friends. "Anna, when you realized that just because a guy wants to be a girl doesn't mean that when they put on the dress and doll themselves up, they become instantly beautiful. Hell, even you had trouble at first with cosmetics, but you did it in your own time." Karen asked a question that Anna had asked many years ago. "That night at dinner you asked me if I regretted my decision about surgery, remember? Do you remember what I said? I told you that I never once regretted my decision because it wasn't a matter of thinking I needed to be a woman, it was a fact, I was a woman, and I was simply following my heart to do the right thing. Remember what else I said? I also told you that if you had one single doubt in the world, one question, one concern, that you should stop and get that question answered before you proceeded." In her deep sleep Anna remembered but Karen kept talking. "About six months after we met, we were having coffee one night. You had just come from your therapist's office and she had explained that transitioning isn't a quick fix. Transitioning from one gender to another takes time. It takes work. It takes focus. Remember, it's like that thing with the onion, sometimes we have to keep peeling away till we get to the heart of the matter." At that point Karen's voice changed. "Gawd all mighty Anna! What ever it is that's keeping you from coming out from under this sleep, only you can make it stop. Come on back, we need you so bad." With that Karen's image and voice disappeared and only David Covey was seen sitting at Anna-Lisa Howell's bedside. David knew that Anna heard the message and she also had to be the one to break the chains that were keeping her from coming back. The Bears faltered in the play-off's and that meant the season was over by late December. In January of 1989 Allan Howell, a.k.a Anna-Lisa was on a plane to San Francisco for a special meeting. Allan Lowell sat in the back of the room, keeping himself quite inconspicuous from the rest of the crowd. Lets face it, if anyone in the room recognized his face, his career, as a professional football player would be over immediately. This was a meeting of transsexuals to discuss the newest techniques in surgery and transitioning. Most of the participants seemed to be anywhere from 25 to 50 years in age, but there was one that stood out the most. A tall, heavy woman with curly brownish gray hair, wire rimmed glasses and a voice that sounded so familiar. As she stood and introduced herself it went something like this. "Hello, my name is Kimberly E Stuart, I wrote a book a few years ago about 'our lives' and I've been asked to chair this meeting. What I'd like everyone to do, because this is going to be as informal a setting as possible, is stand and introduce yourself. You can use any name you wish. We just want to know with whom we are speaking." Her smile was comforting and filled with confidence, but as luck would have it she honed in on Allan and said. "You, in the back row, stand and introduce yourself." "Hi, my name is-An-Ann," obviously stumbling I said "Anna." I sat so quickly, most people didn't even see me. "Welcome Anna, now introduce the woman next to you." This bitch, she can see I'm a wreck, why is she tormenting me? I glanced to my right and saw the nametag of Leslie Porter. "Her name is Leslie Porter." As the rest of the room was introduced I determined that that would be the last time I sit on the end of an aisle. Often mistaken for Julia Child, Kimberly was tall, and spoke much the same as Julia with that well educated but sometimes annoying voice of one that is trying to physically stretch their voice chords to the moon. Anna also remembered that Kim was a good cook too. After the meeting Kimberly walked up to Anna and asked if she'd like to get a cup of coffee. Within fifteen minutes they were sitting in the hotel caf?, and getting to know each other. Kimberly had graduated Stanford University, earned a law degree in Constitutional Law, and had done a number of other jobs either before or after she realized that her life as a man was a ride to nowhere. Her family would disown her, her close personal friends found ways to separate themselves quicker than Moses could part the Red Sea and for the first few years of her journey she wandered-and-wondered about what she should do to right that floundering ship called 'her life.' Not long after she completed surgery she was meeting with friends and they were discussing all the myths and misunderstandings about what it was like being Transsexual and the ongoing confusion about whether or not it was a matter of life choice or was it gender directed? It was at that point where Kim set about the task of writing her book, "The Uninvited Dilemma" A question of Gender. A week after Allan returned from San Francisco he received in the mail a book wrapped in a plain brown wrapper. Simply addressed A. Howell with the correct address. Allan immediately opened the wrapping and let it fall to the floor. Enclosed was the book that Kim had written, with a personal hand written note, which said; 'Anna, I know that right now you are facing a crossroad in your life, and for each answer to each question there will be ten more questions, face it, that's all part of the journey. I hope in some small way this book answers any questions you may have about being Transsexual, and if there is ever anything you want to discuss, feel free to call day or night.' It was a Saturday afternoon and Allan had no place to go, so he made himself very comfortable and set about reading the book he had just received. Allan was so engrossed in the book that he read it in one sitting, something he hadn't done since his college days. Another thing he did was make lots of notes, and with each note was a question about what he'd read. After finishing the book, reviewing his notes, and trying to absorb all he had read, Allan decided that he'd give Kim a call. This was the beginning of what became a long and close relationship and up until Kim's death they had a standing appointment that Anna-Lisa would call Kim every Sunday night. Sometimes they'd talk about how the Bears had been creamed earlier in the day or something special Anna had done to improve 'her' lifestyle. Other times they'd talk about things that had bothered Anna and it didn't take long to learn that Kim was very direct and honest about what she felt, often times challenging Anna-Lisa in ways she'd never experienced on a testosterone filled football field. Because of the financial success Allan had experienced he was able to help Kim when she fell on hard times. Over time they developed a Mother-Daughter relationship that lasted to Kim's final days. Sometimes Moms can say things that other people can't say, and when Kim had grown close enough to Anna-Lisa she said that because of the things she would need to experience during transition, perhaps it would be a good idea for Anna-Lisa to start thinking about life after football. Even her real Mom had not thought that far ahead. At first Anna-Lisa's biological Mom had a difficult time accepting this change in her life, however, over a few years she came to not only accept but embrace her daughter that at one time had been her son. It wasn't always easy but it did happen. Mrs. Howell even became friends with Kim, asking her to move to Portland so that she could help her in her final days. When Kim died, her own two children had her body taken out to Eastern Oregon, buried someplace far removed from their eyes and minds. That was the fond farewell her displaced family offered in her last days. Kim had left a marked impression on Anna's head and heart, if anything, her loss made Anna much stronger as she proceeded down this long and dusty road. The hospital bed was locked in place, the curtains remained drawn, and now it was time for David Covey to once again connect with his sleep-burdened friend. "Anna, Anna, it's David, yes, I'm back and someone else wants to talk to you are you ready?" Once again, the image of David seemed to fade away and this time a burly woman in her late 60's appeared the same way Karen had appeared earlier. Kim began by simply stating that she wanted to thank Anna and her Mom for being such good friends to her especially in those last days just before she died. Then Kim said something that I don't think anyone expected. "Anna, if I could have lived another twenty years I would have preferred that, however, I didn't and I took the ride as far as I could. Now don't get me wrong death isn't everything it's cracked up to be. Look! No more Vodka Tonics, no more manicures, no more anything, you just kind of lay around and do nothing, and for someone like you and me, that's a hard pill to swallow. I guess what I'm saying is that you have way too much living to do to cash it in right now, so would you stop this lazy good for nothing coma you seem to be in and get ready to start over?" Kim continued her speech by saying, "I want to remind you of something you may not remember from our countless conversations. It doesn't make a lot of difference about what you do in life, it's not about gender, it's not about wealth, it's not about how smart you are it's about life, and life is about continually starting over. Come on honey we need you to come back." David was totally exhausted but just before he released his hand from Anna's he thought he felt a slight twitch in one finger. "Let's get some coffee before we continue any further." and with that David and Jason were headed to the hospital cafeteria. Along the way they stopped to check messages. David had two. One message was from his wife, and one was from Betty. Jason had sixteen messages but he wasn't one bit interested in doing anything but spend this time with this very unusual man. David picked up his cell phone he wanted it handy in the event Elsie would call. They were about 15 minutes into their coffee break when David's cell phone went off. "Hello! Oh hi babe, how are you feeling?" Elsie simply said "the baby moved today" and the smile on David's face was enough to light up the whole city of Chicago. "That is so great hon. Yes, I hope to leave no later than tomorrow if all goes well today, Yes, if Anna comes out of her coma I'll tell her you sent your love. No babe, I don't want you doing any lifting or extra work, that's why we hired two extra people for the store, remember?" Jason could not hear the rest of the conversation but he knew that there was something special about the work that David Covey was involved in. After David ended the conversation with Elsie he explained that he and his wife were expecting their first baby within the next 8 weeks and she was still working at the book- store she owned. Elsie had this store prior to meeting David and this too like so many other things in his life was an extraordinary occurrence. After a few moments they finished their coffee and returned to Anna-Lisa's room. "Jason, before I begin this final session I want you to know that it may get a bit noisy in here, please under no circumstances are you to interfere in any way. And I would like you to go to the nurse's station and tell them the same thing I just told you, please?" Before Jason could respond David went on to say that his (Jason's) job would be to watch the monitors to make sure the vital signs were okay. When Jason returned to the room, it was once again in the same design that it had been with the other two visitors. Dark, quiet, sterile, and the only sounds to be heard were those of the machine currently keeping Anna-Lisa Howell alive. "Anna, Anna, it's David, I just won't go away until I know you're okay. By the way, your Mom is on her way to Chicago, they found her vacationing in St. Thomas and she caught the first flight she could." "There is one more special person that you need to speak to, you know who I mean, don't you? That's right, it's Renee. Don't fight me on this one Anna, You need to see Renee one more time. I'm sorry you to left on bad terms, it was one of those things," and once again as before there sat on the edge of that hospital bed in Chicago, Illinois a purple haired, ring nosed, tattoo laden women named Renee. "Hey Bitch, finally got your come up'ns eh? Wish I could say I'm sorry for the shape your in but... Hey, shit happens, right? Look bitch this ain't the way we started off. I thought you and me-were-gonna-be-friends-forever, but then you went and fucked that one up real bad." Renee had to always speak louder and ruder than anyone else involved in a conversation with her. She had to have the last word, and she always, always, asked tough questions. It all started one summer just after Allan Howell graduated from the U of O. He had returned home to Portland for a few weeks before reporting to summer camp for the Chicago Bears. No one was more surprised than Allan that he had gone so high in the draft but he knew that it would require lots more of him to make the team, not even thinking about the starting team that he had worked so hard to attain. This was going to be a really important summer in the life of Allan Howell. Allan remembered Renee from High School. Renee, was what was considered 'queer', ultra fem, and it was mentioned in many circles around Benson High School that Renee was the best at giving blow jobs in school history. Renee was known at that time as Ricky Stark, a quiet, soft-spoken kid that would never make the "cool" list with any of his class- mates. On one level Allan felt deep sorrow for Renee/Ricky because he endured all the pain, the ridicule, the heartache that a kid lost in this maze of confusion would experience. On the other hand Allan knew that if he showed any kind of support at all, it would automatically label him as 'one of them'. By the time Ricky/Renee was a senior in high school he had become a licensed cosmetologist in his Mom's Beauty Salon. He was excellent at manicures and took great delight in helping make his customers the most attractive women in town. He was also on his way to becoming a drug loving booze swigging hooker before he ended his high school education. Molly Stark didn't mind when Renee appeared in the store, she rather preferred it. The customers had known for years that Renee was... well... how did they put it? A little too girlish for a kid that could have had any girl in town. Allan's Mom, was one of Renee's customers, as a matter of fact she started having Renee do her makeovers' and manicures because she thought Renee did a better job then Molly. Molly didn't care because it all went in the cash register. One night in June of that year Allan was walking down the street going home when he heard a loud painful sound coming from the alley. He stopped, looked around and could faintly see two legs sticking out from a pile of rubble behind a trash dumpster. Walking cautiously towards the moaning body he saw Renee/Ricky laying in a pile of blood. Just then two guys came around the corner laughing and joking about their recent roust and when they came in contact with Allan they stopped in their tracks asking what the fuck he was doing with their bitch. Allan stood his ground simply saying that if they didn't leave he would make sure the next time family saw them it would be to say goodbye at their funeral. One guy came at him with a knife and Allan kicked it out of his hand and then landed a left hook on the guy's jaw that sent him reeling against the brick wall behind him. The other guy realizing that Allan was more of a challenge then he was ready for, headed around the corner and out of sight. Allan picked up Renee and took him/her back to her Mom's place where Molly was otherwise entertaining a male client for the evening, and said when inspecting her only child's condition, "What do you expect me to do with this freak of nature... Oh hell, just throw her on the bed, I'll deal with her later." As Allan left the house he could hear Molly Stark saying, "You had better not miss work on account of your fucking around." Off Allan went into the night thankful that his life had not evolved to that point, at least, not-yet. The next day Allan saw Renee at the coffee shop and he stopped in to see how she was doing. When Renee realized that it was Allan she blushed through her bruises and bumps. Allan asked, "Are you all right?" "Yeah, by the way thanks for taking me home." Still going on she then offered an apology for her Mom, "She gets whacked out sometimes and says things that she shouldn't." "Don't worry, the important thing is that you're okay." "Yeah, nothing that time won't heal." At that point Renee went blank and became lost in her own thoughts, simply asking 'I wonder how much time I have?' "Why the fuck didn't you leave me in that alley to die? What the fuck business was it of yours what I was doing there?" It was as if Renee was shaking Anna-Lisa while she was still in a coma and the noise that David Covey mentioned was becoming a reality. Jason remained silent and still in the darkest corner of the room. For some reason when lives collide in this mess called life they happen for a reason, sometimes we don't understand the reason at the time, but there was a reason that Allan and Renee would connect. Over the next few weeks they ran into each other on several occasions. At the coffee shop, in the mall, when Allan would come to pick his Mom up from an appointment at Molly's and each time they would spend just a few moments talking, just getting to know each other. For some inexplicable reason this relationship continued for several years and whenever Allan was in town for a visit he would always end up having dinner or drinks with Renee. One night after an unusually hard game with the Seattle Seahawks Allan took the time to fly down to Portland to see his Mom, and as long as he was there, he decided to hook up with Renee. There was a reason that Renee always sat at the same spot at the counter, each time she entered the caf?. There was a reason that she would sit there for only fifteen minutes and if her connection did not show up, she left. Time and drugs and booze had now taken a real toll on Renee. She was living fulltime as Renee and it was no longer a secret to anyone. She kept her arms covered most of the time to hide the tracks, she was always and forever sniffling, and worst of all she was missing more and more work. On this evening when Allan was in town he saw her slumped over the counter half passed out. "Renee, wake up!" first the cook shouted at her, then Allan tried waking her, nothing seemed to work. "It's the fucking drugs she's on, get her out of here." and once again Allan took charge. This time he took her to Legacy Emmanuel Hospital where she was admitted and placed in the drug rehab ward. After making sure she was safe Allan called Molly to let her know where her child was, and then caught the next plane back to Chicago. "Who the fuck told you to drop me at the fucking place to dry out? Who the fuck told you I wanted to get cleaned up? Who went and made you God over my Goddamned fucked up life?" These were not only words being echoed through David Covey but they were also words that Renee had shouted in Allan's ears on more than one occasion over the next few years. Little did Renee know that through all this each time Allan met up with Renee he saw visions of himself if he didn't get his life straightened out. He wasn't about to get involved with drugs or booze, his/her demon was much larger than that and he needed to start making things right in his life. That's why on his next trip to Portland, he decided that he was going to let Renee know that his life wasn't as perfect as she assumed it was. Three weeks later the Bears were playing the San Francisco Forty-Niners, which they won, but it was a tough game and Allan needed a breather so he caught a flight to Portland. Instead of telling his Mom that he was coming up Allan took a room at The Benson Hotel in downtown Portland and called Renee. "Hey, how you feeling? "Allan, how nice to hear from you!" then a pause and Renee said "I'm twenty seven days clean." "Renee that is so great, you have no idea how happy I am for you." "Allan..." a pause "I'm really going to try this time, I really am." "I know you are Renee, hey listen the reason I called was to see if you wanted to meet me for dinner?" another pause, "I have something I want to talk to you about, can we meet?" "Sure, where are you?" "I'm at the Benson, Mom doesn't know I'm here, and I want to keep it that way." "I'll be there in twenty minutes, okay?" "See you then! Hey Renee?" "Yeah?" "I really am so proud of you!" "Thanks, I'll see you in a few minutes." "Just come up to room 415." At that the phone went silent and Allan was hoping that this impulsive desire to share the most intimate part of his life would go at least reasonably well. "Who the fuck told you that I needed to be saved? Where do you get off being so high and almighty fucking superior just because you made something of your life?" Tension was tight in the hospital room at that moment because things were about to be said that hurled both of their lives on a collision course neither had planned. "When you told me you wanted to be a cunt like me-well, to say the least, you fried my brain more than any drug I'd ever taken. I had never in my life imagined that you would tell me that you were Transsexual, holy shit, it was freaking unbelievable. You know the really funny thing? When we were in high school I always thought you were faking it as the tough macho guy, hell, I figured you might be gay, but never did I think you'd end up like me. You know what Anna-Lisa, you're one hell of an actor. "The meeting at the Benton, dinner, conversation about life, about us, you know who we are, and what we're doing with our lives, shit, it was something I'll never forget. You know why I stopped doing drugs Anna? I stopped doing drugs because you fucking showed me that once I got outside of myself there was a worthwhile human being, someone that I could be fucking proud of, someone that meant something first to myself, then it meant I could start meaning something to someone else. The truth is though I loved the drugs. I loved what they did to me. I loved how they took me away from all the shit in my life, I loved how the drugs, the booze, the sex, and God Almighty did I love the sex, were nothing but excuses to avoid life. It's your fucking fault Anna, hell, I could be dead right now if it weren't for you, but oh no, you had to go and fuck things up by showing me there was one more option called life. "Now listen to me you cunt, I'm not leaving here until you show me you're not ready to give up. We've both seen that the bumps and bruises will go away, and right now, more than anything else, you need to want life! Goddamn it Anna, I'm waiting, show me something, anything!" At that moment the monitor went flat, for just a few seconds... then slowly David Covey motioned for Jason to get the nurse in a hurry. Just as the nurse entered the room, a very tired David Covey moved away from the bed and saw the nurse watch the vital signs bring a message of strength back to Anna-Lisa's racked and battered body. Fingers were flicking up and down, slowly, eyes started to open and within the next few minutes Anna-Lisa Howell was showing signs of life she had not exhibited for about four days. Later that evening David and Anna were visiting and he explained that he had used the same therapy on her that he had used a number of years ago to hopefully bring her life. "How's Elsie?" "She's fine, she called earlier today and said the baby had moved." "David, I'm so happy you came, but something strange happened while I was out. It seemed as if I was continually colliding with someone over the last few days. First starting with Bobby Montero, then well, you know what I mean?" She went on to say, "I'm going to get better, it will take time, I know, but I will get better." At first David was silent but he knew what Anna-Lisa said was true, he squeezed her hand and said, "I know, Anna, I really do know." Epilogue: The news that Bobby Montero was a closet cross dresser made the news for a little while, then like so many other hot stories, it fizzled with time. Bobby's life ended way too soon, and Anna-Lisa and David regretted that they could not have kept the world of Bobby Montero and Anna-Lisa Howell from colliding. Karen and Anna still remain friends, however, Karen can't bring herself to leave Chicago, it's too much a part of her life. She now owns a small engine repair business in the suburbs and is coach of the T-Womens Windy City Softball Team. Kim Stuart died in 2000 and was buried in Eastern Oregon by her children that were ashamed of her chosen life. Renee is now 12 years clean and sober, has her own beauty salon and is soon to be married to Max Wilson, formerly known as Marlene Wilson, and they are so happy it's like love finally collided in Renee's life, and it looks like it will last. Anna-Lisa sold her house in Shorewood, Illinois and moved back to Portland to be near her Mom who by now was reaching her 87th birthday and Anna is busy - busy - busy. Writing a book, teaching at Portland State University and holding hands with a handsome man from Georgia that she collided with a block from her house. David Covey returned to the University of Oregon where he now only teaches part time and councils those in need of gender reclamation. Oh yes, he and Elsie are the parents of little Andy Marie. Who knew? It's simply amazing when worlds collide.