Rebeccas Insel
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Rebecca's Story free porn video
Rebecca's story
Chapter one
Looking back over the last two years I guess you could say I have done
some pretty stupid things, but hey that's what's being young is all about.
It's my eighteenth birthday next week and I am having a party, and it was
while I was lying in on the bed in my room planning, that I began to think
about how I arrived here.
I was the youngest in the family of mum dad and two children, a boy and a
girl. There was two years age difference between the children due to the
fact that I the youngest wasn't planned, and not really welcome!
Dad was a heavy drinker and once drunk became violent and aggressive
and took his anger out on who ever was the nearest. Often mum would end
up with black eyes and heavy bruising and crying while she hid in the
bathroom.
My sister was the apple of her dad's eye and was treated like a princess,
lavished with gifts and praise, while I was just ignored and just given
chores to do around the house. As I grew up I became shy and timid a
recluse locked in my bedroom dreaming of escape, I hated my sister for
being lucky enough to have been born a girl and I hated myself for being a
boy.
Christmas was the worst time for me, as my sister unwrapped pretty
clothes and jewellery. I tried to keep mum happy by looking pleased with
the airfix model and a football I received. What made it all the more
difficult for me was that my sister wasn't in the least bit feminine and
didn't appreciate the gift she had been given.
I remember one particular Christmas I was about ten years old and were
opening our presents in the sitting room, as usual I was more interested in
hers than mine.
She tore open a small brightly wrapped present which contained a pair of
red nylon panties and a matching slip, she gave them a brief glance and
then cast them aside and continued to rip open the rest of her presents. I
had trouble tearing my eyes away from them desperate to rescue them
from her.
We continued to open the rest of the presents and mum came in with a bag
for the rubbish I helped her to clear up and waited for my sister to leave
the room. She did leave but unfortunately took all of her presents with her
up to her room, my heart sank and I to picked up my gifts and climbed the
stars to my room. I put my things down on the floor and laid on the bed
wishing I could be given such beautiful gifts, I began to daydream when I
was pulled to my senses by my father who was shouting from the bottom
of the stairs. He was asking if my sister wanted to go out with him to drop
off some presents for my Gran who was in a hospice, I heard her burst
from her room and thunder down the stairs and with a slam of the front
door they were gone.
I ran out of my room and over to the hall window and watched the car pull
away, as soon as they were out of sight I ran to her room and opened the
door, as usual it looked like a tip there were clothes and records spread all
over the floor and school books all over the bed.
I looked at the fresh pile of Christmas present also piled on the bed and
found the slip and panties they were untouched and still had the labels
attached. I grabbed them and run back to my room my heart was beating
fit to burst.
I didn't want to ruin this moment in my life by being dirty so I hid the
undergarments under my pillow and went down stairs and checked were
my mother was, she was busy with the Christmas meal and her sherry, I
quietly went back to my room and undressed I grabbed a towel and went
to the bathroom and took a shower.
I towelled myself dry and put some of my sisters pretty peach talcum
powder on and then returned to my room, I retrieved the underwear from
under my pillow and slowly I pulled the knickers on and then the slip I
had never felt like this before and it was a defining moment in my life.
There was nothing sexual about this as I was only ten but somehow I
needed to do it, dressing this way felt so normal to me that I knew I never
wanted to stop.
I managed to wear these two sensual garments for about an hour when I
heard the car pull up, I reluctantly removed them and put my own clothes
back on I don't know if it was a conscious thing or not but I took my time
and I didn't have chance to return the underwear before my sister
thundered back up the stairs and into her room.
I waited quietly in my room for the trouble to start but nothing happened
for half an hour and then my mother shouted that dinner was ready and I
made my way down stairs.
After dinner I went back to my room took the underwear and returned it
back to her room, I hated her even more now because I knew in my heart
that once she had worn these delicious undergarments I could never go
near them again.
I made a decision at that moment that I would get my own clothes and
dress in secret whenever I got the chance, and slowly over a period of
months I managed to acquire a collection of underwear that I wore
whenever I could.
I also managed to get hold of a pair of sandals from a bag of jumble that
was left out for the refuse collectors.
By the time I was twelve I had a fair collection my main source of
clothing came from a house three doors down, a large family with four
girls lived there and I used to be friendly with one of the girls called
"Janet" I think she used to feel sorry for me as she used to mother me.
I used to be there as much as possible, I loved to go round her house to do
my homework with her, we used to sit in her bedroom and talk. She shared
a bedroom with her sister who was older and the opportunities to steal the
odd pair of knickers or a slip was always present and to be honest they
never seemed to notice.
As Janet was a year older than me I learnt a lot from her she loved it when
I showed an interest in her make up or clothes and would happily show off
her new additions or the latest piece of makeup she had got, unfortunately
she never gave me the chance to wear or use any of her stuff.
There was one thing Janet did for me that I thank her for eternally and that
was pierce my ears, we sitting in her bedroom one Saturday afternoon
when she started going on about her dad not letting her have her ears
pieced at the top.
I said that I would do it for her if she pierced one of my ears like all the
guys at school have, we made plans for the next Saturday to pierce each
other ears and Janet arranged to get hold of some sleepers.
When the day arrived I was so excited I was fit to burst and was knocking
on her door at eight in the morning, her mum opened the door and let me
in I ran upstairs to her room and went in. Janet was still in bed but her
sister was getting dressed she looked up and smiled at me, she was
wearing the most beautiful bra and briefs I had ever seen all lacy and
feminine she pulled on a dressing gown and left the room.
It was funny really but all the girls in that family undressed in front of me
and never worried or at least they didn't seem to.
I went over to Janet and shook her shoulder gently she turned over and
opened her eyes and said hello, I smiled and sat on the floor at the end of
the bed and watched as she climbed out and pulled on her dressing gown.
She moaned on about the time and without saying anything to me she left
the room and left me alone, I lay forward onto my elbow and waited for
her to return. My eyes were able to see under her sister's bed a flash of
colour caught me eye.
I got up went over to the bed and retrieved the item it was a pink bra all
fluffy and dirty from being under the bed for a long time, I quickly lifted
my trouser leg up and tucked it into my sock and then looked under the
bed again to see if there were any more treasures hidden there.
I found a large hairgrip and a pair of dark pantyhose I hid them in the sock
on my other leg and returned to my waiting position. Not letting this
opportunity go by I also looked under Janet's bed, there was a load of
books and magazines and a pair of shoes that looked fairly new I left them
be and waited for Janet to return.
She came back in the room carrying two cups of tea and handed me one I
thanked her and sat on the end of her bed and sipped it while she got
dressed. She obviously slept in her panties as she just pulled a pair of jeans
on and then with her back to me she fixed a white bra on and then a denim
t-shirt.
She turned smiled at me and then sat down next to me and held her hand
open so as I could see what she was holding, her hand was full of sleepers
of all shapes gold and silver studs and hoops. I smiled at her and asked her
if she would pierce both of my ears like she had, she looked at me grinned
and nodded.
We drank our tea and then set to work I had bought a can of the freeze
stuff that sports people use and Janet had made up some ice blocks, we
decided to do Janet first so she held the blocks of ice to the top of her ear
until they began to melt and then I sprayed them with loads of the
numbing spray.
Once we were sure she couldn't feel any thing I took the needle and the
corks I had bought with me dipped them in the sterilizing solution and
while she directed me using a mirror I pushed it through her ear. It was
like trying to push through a piece of gristle but I pushed hard and it went
through, as soon as a hole was made I cleaned the earring she had chosen
and fitted it in her ear.
I pierced the top of her ear three times in all before the feeling started to
return and she looked in the mirror admiring her new golden hoops.
I was next and my nerves were jumping I held fresh ice blocks to my right
ear lobe again until they started to melt and then Janet sprayed the stuff on
and set to work
She worked a lot quicker than me within second I heard the stud clip shut
and then another click I looked at her wondering what the second click
was she smiled and held two fingers up to say my ear lobe now had two
holes in it.
She did the left ear the same way and again she pierced it twice and fitted
two gold studs we both admired our handy work in the mirror, my hair
was quite long and covered up the studs, but just to be sure we got some
skin coloured fabric plasters and cut little patches to hide them.
My heart was full of joy, my first un-reversible change to my appearance
and a very feminine one. Janet looked at me and we cuddled for a moment
I felt like crying and wished I could be with her always, I always felt so
lonely and on my own when I wasn't with her.
Soon it was time for me to get home and start getting the tea ready before
mum got back from work, it was my job to do the potatoes and vegetables
and then to set the table. I left Janet and walked back home, as soon as I
got through the door I ran to the kitchen and filled the sink put some
washing powder in and washed the new additions to my wardrobe. I
washed them twice and then rinsed them I couldn't wait try them on so I
put them straight into the tumble dryer and while they were drying I set
the table and did my chores.
As soon as I had finished I switched the dryer off took my prizes out and
run to my room, I lifted the floor in the bottom of my wardrobe and
retrieved my collection of clothes I didn't have much new stuff but what I
did have I looked after like it was gold. I chose my white bikini style
panties and pulled them slowly on tucking my small penis out of the way,
and then started to put on my first bra; enjoying every moment I carefully
fitted this most feminine garment to my body.
Once I was sure it was on perfectly I stood in front of my wardrobe mirror,
I was so happy I removed the plasters from my ears and tucked my hair
behind to show off my earrings. The panty hose was next I knew how to
put this on as I had seen Janet's sister pull it on a hundred times before,
and so for the first time I wore pantyhose, it felt like nothing else and I
somehow felt very much like I was actually a girl.
I couldn't stop now so I put on the only skirt I owned which was a blue
washed denim knee length with a split up the back, and then a white gypsy
style top, both of these garments had come to me from the laundrette
where people had left them in the dryers and while helping mum I had
stumbled across them.
Last thing to put on were my wedge heeled sandals I had found in the
refuse they were a bit big for me but that didn't matter as I walked around
the empty house enjoying every moment, but all to soon it was time to
remove these wonderful clothes and return to my miserable life.
My thirteenth birthday came and went and when I got the chance I dressed
and walked about the house never daring to go outside.
Since I had known Janet she had always passed on her teenage magazines
to me and I had a large collection hidden in my room, I would get them
out at night and read them from cover to cover picking up tips on make up
and hair care.
Even though I hadn't any make up of my own I was quite familiar with
what to use and how to apply it, and I was saving hard for a make up kit
that was in Argos the catalogue store, which also contained a red and a
pink nail polish.
The catalogue stores were a good place to buy jewellery as well, I was
never brave enough to go to a regular shop and buy clothes or make up in
case I was found out. I think Janet thought I was a bit of a sissy but didn't
see it as a problem to her as it always gave her a willing companion when
she needed it. I never thought Janet and I would stop being friends but I
knew that as she was getting older her interest in boys was growing and
being seen with me didn't do her chances much good.
I must admit that at times I was very jealous of Janet, the way she could
wear what she wanted when she wanted, she didn't have to hide away if
she had painted her nails or put mascara on her eyelashes.
One day late in the summer just before new school term Janet asked me to
give her a hand to clear her bedroom out I didn't need to be asked twice as
was round there in a flash, we spent hours sorting out drawers and
cupboards the wardrobe and the dressing table, I held a black plastic bag
open while she filled it with all sorts of old clothing, bags, shoes and make
up.
When we had finished we shared a can of cider and sat and talked on her
bed after a while her mum called to say her lunch was ready and we said
our farewells. Janet passed me the two black plastic bags and asked me to
throw them in the rubbish for her.
I didn't hang about I just took the bags and left her house walked straight
past the rubbish bins and made my way home. No one was home so I ran
straight up stairs and went through the first bag there must have been at
least a dozen skirts, I tried them all on and three fitted me perfectly the
others were miles to small I never bothered to try on the jeans or trousers
but I did try on both the dresses from the bag. Both of them fitted me
though one of them was a little to big around the top but it was so lovely I
just had to have it.
When I had finished sorting through the bag I ended up with a collection
of assorted make up, loads of half full bottles of nail polish, three skirts
and the two dresses plus a summer top and a pair of two inch heeled
wedge sandals.
I knew the second bag would contain much more for me and so I opened it
up and tipped the contents on the bed, five pairs of panties, four bras, three
pairs of panty hose and one white half-slip. The rest of the contents
consisted mainly of jumpers and a cardigan plus a puff jacket with the zip
gone. I decided to keep it all so I packed them all into my secret hiding
place along with the make up and the other clothing from the first bag.
Over the next few weeks I washed ironed and repaired all of the clothes
and neatly folded them and hid them away.
Once school started Janet and I didn't see so much of each other and when
she started going out with a seventeen year old guy named Dave who had
a car I hardly saw her at all. She did remember to send me a fourteenth
birthday card inside was some money and a note which said buy yourself
something nice! I did buy myself something nice. I went to the Argos
catalogue store and bought a gorgeous pair of earrings two gold hearts on
very fine chains I still have them to this day.
Janet was always in my mind though as most nights I wore her old panties
and read her magazines, I considered myself to be quite a convincing girl
when I was all dressed up. I was still small for my age and because my
parents never really had time for me I had got away with letting my hair
grow fairly long. The school had sent a letter about it to my home but
because I was always home first I had intercepted it.
My sister was still ruling the roost and took up most of my parents time
with her constant demands, my dad was now drinking much heavier and
his bullying was getting worse. I lived most of that period of my life in my
small bedroom.
I saw Janet twice over the space of three months and that was only for a
few minutes as she was preparing to go out.
I was bunking off of school most days and spending the whole day
practicing with make up and wearing my favourite skirt or dress. My sister
had now left school and was working in a shoe shop in the town.
My toenails were always painted and I wore a very light brush of mascara
and always wore panties underneath my trousers, sometimes if it was cold
I wore a bra as well under a thick sweater so my straps wouldn't show.
My sister's behaviour was getting quite bad by now and she was mixing
with all sorts of guys some of them must have been in there early twenties.
Mum was worried about her getting pregnant so she arranged for her to go
on the pill. My sister didn't worry about it and she never bothered to take
them so when she was out one day I stole them from her room, she must
of thought she had lost them because she never said nothing to anyone.
I had read somewhere that the birth control pill contained female
hormones so everyday for six months I took one they made me feel less
desperate and I dreamed of the breasts that I may grow if I could get my
hands on some more.
I was slowly changing my appearance as much as I dare; I was slowly
thinning my eyebrows down and shaping them into thin arches. I was
letting my nails grow longer and shaping them and I cleaned my face with
deep cleanser to prevent spots.
I don't know if it was the effects of the pill but I found myself looking at
boys and worse still I was looking at there crutch I didn't know what to
think and felt very confused.
When my parents were about I wore my hair in a ponytail and fixed up
inside a baseball cap. I didn't want to but if my parents saw how long it
had got they would have dragged me to the barbers and got it all cut off
which would have killed me.
The rows were getting more and more often and my sister never came
home most nights, which made my father drink even more.
I used to steal some of his whisky sometimes and drink it in my room late
at night I got drunk very easily and the drink gave me courage. Sometimes
while I was drunk I dressed up in my room and while the rest of the family
were asleep. I climbed out of my window on to the coal-shed roof and
then down onto the ground.
I would then wander around the garden feeling the cold air against my legs
and my long hair blowing in the breeze.
One particular night I even sneaked out to the park and walked around
with my denim skirt on with gypsy top and sandals, I also wore my puff
jacket and my gold heart earrings. I desperately wanted to share my life
with someone but was to afraid of exposure to tell anyone my secret.
The fifty percent of my life I spent as a girl were my happiest memories,
the other part of my young life I prefer to forget.
I needed to do more but I dare not in case I got found out and punished.
To be continued
If you wish me submit the rest of my story please let me know
[email protected]
Maris
- 31.05.2021
- 17
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