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Once I Was I was busy at work typing up my dictation notes. My boss Ms Anne Butler was someone I learned long ago in another life not to disappoint. I hurried to get my work done for the end of the day. I knew she would be out of HER office as 5.30pm was approaching. We were leaving earlier than our normal 6.30pm ? 7.00pm. I checked the letter and then my hair and make up. It was part of my job to look the part of a feminine and totally complete lady secretary that I now was. But once it was not like this at all. Once I was?., oh well that was then this is now. Shortly she'll be giving me a lift home in her BMW. My own car was being serviced and all the loaners were out said the garage. Bah right. So we drove to her large house that used to be mine once. I live there as well with her. Five years ago I was not Rebecca the 38 year old, brown haired, 6 foot tall, feminine transsexual woman. Oh no. I'm nowadays always a feminine lady and I always wear smart skirts, suits and dresses with my hair and make up immaculate. Once I was the boss called Richard Parson. I was then the big man, the guy who spoke and people jumped. Now I jump and do as I'm told. I'd made two very big mistakes one was underestimating a woman and two was making life hell for her transsexual brother or should I say sister so that Julie ended up killing herself because of through my actions. I'd dated Ms Butler not long after her sister died. At the time I didn't know that the queer in the frock I'd driven to the wall was her brother/sister. We dated for 6 weeks and I was having fun having sex with her. Yet little did I know she'd be the last woman I would ever f- ck. One evening we'd been out for a meal and I'd thought that we'd had a fun night out. I grabbed her around the waist to pull her close but she got hold of my arm and forced me down on the floor breaking my forearm and wrist. I screamed in pain as she did this. Roy my bodyguard rushed in the room and he reached for her as she still had hold of my broken arm. Then she let go and I fell to the living room floor in absolute agony. However she spun round her long elegant feminine stocking covered leg upward towards Roy's face. The 4-inch heel of her shoe caught Roy just under the chin and I heard the crack of his jaw. In one kick, she'd bust his jaw and knocked a couple of teeth out. Roy was 6 foot 2 inches tall, a black belt at judo and weighed 190 pounds of solid muscle yet a woman of just 5 foot 6 inches and 125 pounds had broken his jaw. He grunted with pain and staggered back but unlike most guys he wasn't knocked out. As I watched on the floor through waves of pain, Roy lunged at her and almost hit her. However she dodged out of his way and as he went by she punched him hard into his side. He almost went down on his knees but he came back and hit her across the face. I saw blood spurt from her nose and if he'd hit her with full force she would have been killed. Having her nose broken didn't even slow her down as she hit him with both small but deadly hands on the side of his head. He went down on his knees this time but she found that he'd grabbed her left hand busting both the little finger and ring finger with power of the move. There wasn't even a yelp from her as she calmly got hold of his hand and in a lighting move twisted his wrist and busted it top cause yet another painful grunt from him. Then she forced him down by the arm and wrist. He somehow managed on the way down to hit her in the ribs and I heard a first painful grunt from her as he bust a couple of her ribs. This didn't save him or me as she put one feminine high heel in the back of his neck and in a move almost too fast to follow she reached down twisted his neck and broke it. He died in hurry and I couldn't believe that this guy who'd done time for being a real bad arse had been put away by this slip of a woman. Oh Shit Was I Scared. She came over to me and I tried to crawl away from her. She just smiled as she cleaned the blood from her nose with tissue from her bag. "Don't run away lover," she said as she came over towards me. When she kicked me under the chin, the lights went out. When I came around Anne was standing over me. "My, my lover are you awake baby?" I just whimpered in pain as she spoke again. She'd been to the kitchen and cleaned herself up. "Well your bodyguard was not too shabby. I'm going to feel this fight for a while," she admitted. "Oh you must be wondering what's going to happen as well as scared shitless. Oh how cute you've shit and piss yourself my baby. I may have to put a nappy on you." Ordinarily I would be so mad at what this bitch was saying, I would have beat her like a drum, but I was so scared I crapped myself. I knew if she wanted me dead then there was nothing I could do to stop her. She'd just taken out a real animal and I always thought I could hold my own in a fight. But against her it was no contest. "Ah yes I expect you're wondering the who and the why and what next," she said. "The who, well I am who I say I am. But have you heard of the British Special Security Service? Of course you have baby after they nuked Chicago city centre we were formed. Oh I must stop saying that. I'm no longer a member as such. Anyway they recruited lot of women as well as guys and I was already in the Army so I went into the Service and as you can see they teach us girls very well how to look after ourselves." Yes I thought I have just seen and felt that at first hand. "Oh I must get myself a drink," she said and she stepped over Roy's dead body to get to my drink cabinet and then poured herself a Scotch. "Oh I would offer you one but I busted your jaw and by the look then you have a couple of loose teeth too. Poor baby." I passed out yet again. I was still on the floor when I came to. "Hello baby my you have not got a very high pain threshold, she said. Maybe you're a bit of a wimp so maybe I'm doing you a big favour in giving you this new life. No the life I'll give you means you'll have to be strong. Are you strong enough?" 'What new life.' I thought. I felt I was dead and she was just playing with me. "Now where was I? Ah yes the why. Do you remember a very sweet young guy who worked for you who transitioned as a female, you and it was mainly you, hounded her until she killed herself." I nodded. "That you scumbag," she said grabbing my busted arm and twisting it. I yelped in pain, "was my brother later to become my sister." 'Oh bloody shit I'm dead,' I thought as I screamed and was also sick. "Good for you that none of that puke went on this dress or I would have busted the other arm. Now what's going to happen? Well one, we are going to have a car crash so poor Roy was killed and we end up being a bit busted up. Then two you are going to think hard about your life and become the person you always wanted to be deep down. A girl!" 'Oh no, she's fucking mad. No way!' Then I looked into her eyes as she held my face by my busted jaw in a most painful way. 'I saw she wanted do it but when I got away from her I would fix her.' "Oh I know what you're thinking," she said. "Don't! I won't kill you quick or cleanly if you try fucking with me. Just remember the film, 'Seven' where a guy was kept alive in his bed for months before he finally died. Oh yes we did that to a terrorist scumbag once. The Service has a lot of leeway nowadays but I was the one that did that to him. I took him down and well let's say I asked him in a not so nice way a lot of questions. I think the acid eye drops did it in the end for him not enough to completely burn them but enough to do the job nice and painfully slow." I swallowed. "Would you like that baby? No I didn't think so. Now it was not a nice thing to do but we saved a lot of people doing that," she said. "Sometimes the means do justify the end my dear. Well anyway we were there to save lives anyway we could and so we did." 'Oh God no, she a real mad killer and psycho,' I thought. "I also got the dirt on your drugs money laundering and lots more," she interrupted me thoughts. "You've been a bad boy for the last 15 to 20 years I'd say." I passed out again. So that was the last night I was a free wealthy man and not a work a day TS secretary completely under this woman's thumb. The rest was laid out after the so-called car crash that her friends helped arrange. I was to tell the world how sorry I was for my misdeeds and my hounding of Julie because I knew deep down I was like her inside but didn't have the guts to face it. So instead I hounded the poor girl. My girlfriend in the accident with me was going to help me. In fact she was now taking over the company and had full power of attorney over all my affairs. I was not only going to transition but would become my girlfriend's new secretary after my training. When I was asked, 'why', I was told to say that I didn't want the bother of running the company as I went through this transition. Hopefully this having to give up my big BMW, the other status symbols and being just a working everyday girl would make up in some small way for what I was and what I'd done. God did I hate every moment of saying that crap and telling them to call me Rebecca. But worse I said it dressed in a skirt, suit, wig, and make up just a few months after coming out of hospital. My busted arm had healed up but the jaw was giving bother so I was to going to have cosmetic surgery done on my face to make it look more feminine so it didn't matter. The months went by. I was on hormones, I had breast surgery, and my balls were removed. God how I cried that night and she laughed at that. She kept telling me, "you robbed my sister of the right to be a woman. So you will be that woman. Get with it or kill yourself it's your choice." Some choice. I was really scared of the death she could give me if I screwed up my suicide bid so I got on with the program. Hair, make up the lot. I did not want it and I didn't like it but I would be the best and most feminine woman I could be because my pain free life depended on it. A year into my transition a guy at the company warehouse across Bristol asked about transition so I was asked to befriend Sue as he called himself. I thought she must be mad to want to do this to herself but I was told to be her friend so I did what I was told. So I became her friend and at least I now had a friend to really talk to. Unlike me she was 5 foot 8 inches, a size 12 ?14, had lovely blond hair and was quite cute. She certainly wasn't my size which was a large 18- 20 and I had no fat. I knew I was never going to pass 100% of the time but I did look 100 % presentable. I had to or else. It was then that Anne heard that Sue was being bullied by some guys at work. Jack Dawson a 6 foot 2 inch, 280 pound bag of lard came on fairly strong but he was nothing Anne couldn't put away while doing her nails. So when Ms Butler found out she went white with rage. One cold January Saturday we were at work doing paper work and she announced using a voice that scared me, "get your coat on Miss Parson we're going across town. I have to check out something." Seeing my alarm she declared, "Don't worry kitten you're not in trouble yet!" Then she tickled me under the chin which I hated. It felt so sissy but standing against her that's what I was. I giggled as was excepted and she smiled, "good girl." Then she patted me on the backside, "scoot now!" As we went out to her BMW she said, "If you're a good girl I may get you a pink Beatle convertible with a pink interior and a private plate CUTIE. Is that cute or what sweetie?" "Yes, Ms Butler," I said. "Thank you." I was always a big car guy driving fast and powerful models. Now if I get a car it will be a girly, girly car. Oh shit. Once I used to be a man but not now. She spoke no more and she had a real angry look on her very beautiful face. She wore a light pink suit, above the knees skirt with matching shoes and clutch bag. I wore a light blue suit with a knee length skirt. I sat with my matching bag on my lap and I looked in the vanity mirror to check my hair and make up as I'd been taught. Anne smiled, "Good girl!" I smiled and said, "thank you." I still did not want to be a woman but you can get used to anything in time. I was due for the operation soon and now that my balls were gone it was no use now and never would be. 'Well,' I thought, 'Thank God I'm in her good books and not the bad.' I'd been hand spanked and paddled at first when I started this girl stuff but that had got less as I got more feminine. She could hit and I use to end up sobbing. It was all so shameful to be spanked or paddled and made to stand with my nose touching the wall in the corner with my skirt up and knickers down. So I try hard to do my best as a woman because I've got no choice and to save the pain in my arse. We parked outside the warehouse car park and then walked towards it. "Wait by the gate I'll call you on the mobile in a sec." She ordered. "Ok Ms Butler." "Good girl," she said and then she went off minus her 3 inch heels. She crept inside wearing a low-heeled soft-shoe. She was good at moving fast and remaining out of sight. After about 10 minutes I heard my phone ring in my bag so I answered it. "Just pop along to the canteen and bring my heels with you," she ordered. So I walked as quickly as I could and as I'd been taught in a feminine womanly fashion. In a tight knee length skirt that was the best way to walk and over the time I'd lived like this, it was the only way I could walk. I got to the canteen and what I saw would have once made me laugh. Although I'd been ordered to befriend Sue she was friend and we'd grown quite close so I was quite upset by what I saw. The bullies had stripped her of her work uniform and they'd dressed the poor cow in a cheap French maid outfit. Then they'd made her serve them tea and coffee. I noticed that she had a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth and a red mark across her face where she'd been slapped. Anne was boiling mad. The warehouse manager was away from the site because his wife was ill with breast cancer and these guys were just taking advantage. There were five guys in the canteen led by Dawson and Anne had sacked them all on the spot. They were told that they could pick up their pay slips and tax forms in a few days. "Now get out!" she ordered. "Get off the site!" Lawson stood up and went over to her and shouted right in her face, "Who do you think you are? You're just some silly bit of skirt." She answered calmly, "I'm the boss of this company that's who and you are a homophobic tub of lard." Dawson though made a big mistake by saying, "If you was a bloke and not a bird I'd knock your block off." She smiled, laughed and said, "Don't let that stop you sweetie. I'll tell you what if you have a go and I promise not to hurt you too much?" He laughed. Then she threatened, "tell you what. I'm a sporting woman. If you can put me down I'll let you keep your job. If you lose you are out. Don't ever touch Sue and that applies to your mates too. If you do I'll come along to your local pub and beat the crap out of you. Then I'll strip you naked and dump you in the boot of my car. Then we will have a lovely ride in the country. Then sweetie I'll bind your arms and legs and let you hobble home. Now does that sound fair or not?" He laughed and said, "Yes I don't think so." Anne said, "well try me." He was a bit taken aback and one of guys said, "do her Jack." He was getting red in the face. Anne said, "Yes Jack why don't you do me? After all I'm a silly bit of skirt and a real man like you should have no problem." I thought, 'don't do it you bloody fool. Don't you see you're being set up for a bloody big fall.' He was obviously too thick to see it and swung a huge punch at her. She side-stepped it easily and I'd seen and been on the end of this before so I knew that Dawson was dead meat. Sue put her hand to her mouth in shock at this lovely feminine woman making a fool of the big guy. Dawson's momentum carried him into the door with his fist hitting and busting the door. He must have hurt his fist but as he went at it again she side-stepped again and then again. The guy just could not hit her but after five attempts she showed she could hit him easily. She hit him just under his ribs and then she hit her palm into his nose so we heard it break. Blood spurted from it and splashed her jacket. She then kicked the back of his knee grabbing his wrist and arm before it was painfully twisted into a lock. He was forced down onto the floor and she placed her high heel on his neck so couldn't move. "Well kitten that was easy," she said. "Mind you I might have chipped a nail big boy. I think you're a bit of a sissy, are you not my dear? But I said that I wouldn't hurt you and I keep my word." She let him up but he was beaten and as a man quite broken. He slunk out the door head down .He moved away from the area and we don't know where after that though you could bet Anne did but it wasn't important. There was fear in those men's faces as they slunk out the door. The big guy in the group had been taken down really easy by this woman and they just couldn't believe it. Then she spoke to the other men and women who worked on the site, "Right from now on there is to be no racism or homophobia or any anti transgender behaviour in this company. I will not tolerate any such behaviour as you have just seen. As you know my dear sister Julie died due to bullying. This will never happen again. "Your old boss and my old boyfriend who is now known as Rachel is also transition into a woman as is Sue. So both these people will be treated with respect and if not I will want to know why." She then went onto the new company policy on such matters. The employees having seen how she sorted out today's sat up and took notice. They could all see that this very feminine smart woman was no one to mess with. Afterwards she whispered to me, 'no one will ever hit you but me sweetie trust me on that.' I gulped and said, "thanks Ms Butler." You're welcome cutie," she replied. We then both followed Sue to the First Aid room where we met John Knopp who'd dropped the word to Mrs Butler on what was happening. He'd also tried to stop it but had no chance. He was a nice guy of 24 and married with one 3-year girl. But as Anne would say, he couldn't fight his way out of a paper bag but added that not everyone was a fighter. While Julie her sister would have died to save a life and she could never hurt a fly. Anne also had a lot of time for gentle, kind people but she could be a killer in skirts and such a bitch when she wanted. Sue was sobbing and so I stood there not knowing what to say or do. I thought it was funny that a few months ago I couldn't have given a hoot about her but now I felt some sympathy. Anne went right over to her and held her tight . "You cry it out baby. You cry, no one will ever hurt you again. I promise." Anne then thanked John for his help and took Sue to get changed out of the horrid uniform. She asked John to get a metal waste bin and put it outside. Once Sue had changed Anne took the uniform and dropped it in the bin. "John please bring out a fire extinguisher," she ordered and he went back inside. Then she chucked the BMW keys at me and told me to bring the car into the yard. I had to bring the petrol can from inside the boot. As I pulled into the yard I got out and took over the petrol can to her. "Thanks Baby you're a doll," she said. 'Gee great,' I thought and I smiled sweetly as I'd been taught. "Thank you, you're welcome," I replied. Sue had changed into a nice pair of jeans, white lace trimmed top and smart heeled boots. Her taste of outfit was perfect and she had a real cute black shoulder bag. 'Did I think cute bag? Oh shit I'm thinking like a girl for real.' I watched as Anne poured the petrol over the uniform in the bin. Then she put a match to it and up it went in a sheet of flame. "Sue do you know why I did this?" Anne asked. She shook her head. "Because from now on you can wear what you want. No man will make you wear crap like this again. I'm taking you under my wing and I'll teach you to look after yourself against these pricks," she declared. "Oh and Rebecca will be alongside you learning too. She needs to be able to look after herself as well." She winked at me and smiled. I thought, 'Yes and even if I got a black belt in Judo she'll still be able to kick my arse all around the room. Still it wouldn't be a bad idea to be able to protect myself from dicks like I'd seen earlier.' Once we were back at the main company offices she took me into her office. "Sit down my dear," she commanded. I did as I was told smoothing my skirt under me just as she'd taught me. "Well it's about time we had a little chat. I know you don't like or want to be feminine and being a TS but you have adapted to your new role well." I said nothing and I thought it best to be careful as this could be a trap. "Oh come on speak! I won't hit you so tell me what you think," she ordered. So I said, "What choice did I have? I'm now a TS. My balls have gone and that's why I agreed to the operation in the next few months. My dick's useless to me now. I would never have given up my manhood and life if I was not faced with you day in day out. I know what you can do. If I'm going to or be forced to do this I might as well get with the program and do it as well as I can." She answered, "Hmm logical thinking on your part my dear As you know we are both nasty horrible people. I'm a natural born killer and I can kill if necessary in a moment. Then seconds later sit down, redo my lipstick and not give a hoot. I've always been a real son of a bitch or should that be daughter of a bitch?" She laughed and I shuddered at that laugh because it was so feminine and musical but I'd heard it so many times when she'd beaten me when she began training me to my present role. That lovely feminine voice and laugh scared me and she knew. She continued, "You my sweet are a rat! Ah don't think I'm insulting you, rats are one of nature's great success stories. But like all rats you are a taker not a giver. Vicious if cornered otherwise you hide and take what you can no matter what the cost to others. "So I used my darker side for my country and this company. But I won't lie I enjoy inflicting pain and beating people. I especially love beating men. It might be that I'm proving that as a woman I can't just compete with them I have to win too. But at least I can say I've done my bit until it was clear that I was on the point of losing control and was enjoying myself far too much. So in the end I was given a honourable discharge." 'Oh where the hell was this going now?' I thought "My dear sister was nothing like us. She was a sweet, kind, gentle person. Far better than either of us. That's what you'll become to the outside world my sweet. What you feel inside is up to you but you will act live and do as she would have done. If you've got any sense you'll become that person inside as well but that's up to you. "I'm dammed. I know that it's hell and fire for me when I die but I'll still spit in the devil's eye when I get there. If you don't change then I'll be bossing you about down there too," she laughed and I gave a nervous giggle too. I sat there thinking then I said, "Look you've got me by the balls well. If I still had them." She laughed. "So what you want me to do? I might as well do it. If I try to go up against you I'll just lose. So do or die," I said. "Oh sweetie that's what I love about you." She said, "You see the truth of your position and work with it. Oh you may hate it but you get on with it." So I got away without a beating or a spanking. I always hate these chats .If you didn't say what you are meant to say then oh dear world of pain here I come. "Come outside I have a present for you," she told me. We both walked outside by her BMW and there parked beside it was a very pink Beetle convertible with BECKY as the number-plate. Oh well it was better than Cutie as a number-plate. It was not what my old self would have chosen, but what the heck, I had wheels again. Anne kissed me on the cheek and said the care was for being a very good girl. Then she gave me the keys and the paperwork. I thanked her and kissed her back just like a girl would. Some of the staff were there clapping and cheering. "Take her for a drive cutie," she said. The hood was down and it was cold but dry. The frost though had long gone. So there I was a woman in a smart skirt suit, full makeup and long pink nails driving a pink convertible Beetle around the block. I stopped at the lights and a builder in a battered white van pulled up alongside me. The fat pig and ugly jerk driving this wreck then started to make lewd comments at me. I decided that the only woman this clown would ever have would probably come in a box with an air pump. The lights changed and I pulled away from him giving him the bird as I did so. His old van was no match for my new car. I put on the car radio and tuned into Classic FM. Music was the one thing that Anne and I agreed upon. I listened to the Mozart and started to feel pretty good. I was now a TS woman but not with a 100 % pass rate but very presentable. I also thought to myself that wasn't bad looking and I was alive. I could very, very easily be dead. I knew this was my life and it was on her terms. I would make the most of it. I knew a fork in the road had come. I'd taken the only one that I could take and that was to be as happy as I could. I decided to make the best of it and really start to enjoy being Rebecca. After an hour I pulled back in and went into the offices. I knocked on her door and waited to enter. She said, "come in." So I did so. "Sit my dear." I sat as femininely as possible and I thanked her for the car. "That's ok sweetie glad you like it," she said. I then asked, "Can I tell you what I thought." "She said, "yes." So I told her all about what I'd thought in the car and my decision. She told me, "I'm glad you've come around after all you could be dead or in Prison now. My dear being a girl is not that bad. Look at me am I weak or a loser? No I'm a woman and I do as I please. If I see a guy and like him them I play the sweet little lady and I have him in the palm of my hand. I think you remember that. But if he gets out of hand I show him the door head first. I'll show you and Sue how to look after yourselves. So who knows you may get good enough to even beat me." "Oh yes, pigs might fly," I said. She laughed at that. A few days later in the gym at her house we started training. The gym was very well equipped with weights as well as the normal bike and rowing machine equipment. There was also a punch bag which she used a great deal. In the middle of the floor was a large mat for her martial art practice. She first had me try out on the punch bag. Anne watched as I punched at it. I'd done a bit of boxing in the past before forming the company, sorry her company. Well I had to fight on the street in my younger days as a young crook. I was hitting the bag as hard as I could and of course the hormones had lowered my strength so I couldn't hit as hard as I used to do. Anne spoke, "Stop! You're punching like a guy but that won't work any more. You don't have the speed or the power. Before you may have had the power but you were too slow." Sue then hit it a few times before she was stopped. "Sue you're just like my sister Julie. She was a real girly girl like you which is sweet but that means you hit like one sweetie." Then she started to show us some very simple moves. She was using me as a would be attacker and showed us some basic self-defence moves. So then we had hour long lessons each day and she made us attend a training course to build fitness and strength. Obviously we got much better at self defence over the following weeks but not so good that I could beat Anne. We both found out many times how strong she was. I was bigger than her, yet on the weights she could out lift me while poor Sue had a really hard job with the weights. A few months later Anne and I went over to the warehouse to talk to the Manager. So there I was tagging along to take notes and just ran round after her as her assistant. Out in the yard a small box van had pulled up and was being loaded with 25kg bags of potatoes by Peter Hutton. Then he had a call to say that his wife was finally having their baby and he had to go to hospital. Everybody was really busy and no one was able to help the replacement lady driver with loading the van. We were just walking past when the nice young woman asked us to help. "If I don't leave soon I'll miss my security check point time to get into the centre of London," she explained. "If I miss that it'll be another 24 hours before I can make the trip and another time is allocated." Anne saw that all the men were very busy and as she was there said, "I'll help." Despite wearing a light grey, knee length, skirt suit I dropped my pad and went to help too. "No sweetie doing a light workout will do me good," she said as I stood there watching. The young woman got in the back while Anne started chucking around the bags like they were nothing at all. The young woman had a hard job keeping up with Anne's pace as she began placing the bags in the van. Anne was loaded the 30 bags with no problems. Now and again I spotted Anne's stocking tops and a guy driving a forklift truck nearly lost it when he saw her legs too. With the van loaded the girl was quickly on her way. Anne had done the loading better and faster than most guys could. The word went around the guys that the sexy boss was as strong if not stronger than they were. Later Sue told me that she'd heard all about it and it was hard work. Sue couldn't believe that all Anne had done after loading the van was to repair her make up. After another year had passed I finally had my surgery. In a way it was a relief for me. Sue was by my side when I regained consciousness. She was crying and happy that I was now a complete girl. It was though very painful when I awoke. I felt like shit to feel this great pain. The room I was in was full of flowers and stuffed toys. I also had loads of cards wishing me well. I saw Anne grinning at me and she kissed me on the cheek. She said, "Welcome to the club girlfriend." I felt like a mess though groggily replied, "What club?" "Womanhood silly," Anne answered. 'Womanhood,' I thought. 'Yes I'm a woman now I would never have done this before Anne came along. But I was a woman. A TS woman but a woman. Oh well it don't matter. What the hell. It's? oh crap.' I couldn't think straight. 'Oh shit this was so painful. It was a pain in the butt. Oh well that the way it is for now.' Then a nurse came in and gave me something. I felt a lot better and I then went back to sleep. I was in hospital for 4 days and I went home I had to dilate often. I found that it wasn't a chore because I'd already been trained to take Anne's strap-on dildo and before my operation she'd found men and I 'enjoyed' anal and oral sex. So the only difference is that I could take a man in my new opening. I thought it was ironic that where I once was made to go with men against my will now I was quite looking forward to full sex. So perhaps I must be a woman? I would still rather be a man but I would have to make my life as a woman so I might as well have fun doing it. My new boyfriends were all handpicked by Anne. She told me, "Julie was sweet loving but very cock happy so as her replacement you will be too." I fought against her but after some very hard paddling and her taking me with her strap-on every night I eventually agreed. My first boyfriend was called Jack Danning who Anne picked for me a couple of months after I started living full time as Rebecca. He was 47 years old and just under six foot tall. His face framed by dark hair thinning on top was kind and handsome. He was wealthy and ran a small haulage company with 4 trucks. That first dinner was great and he treated me like a lady when he found out that I was still a pre-op. I wore a black knee length chiffon dress that looked great on me. I had a small steak while he had large one because the restaurant was part of a steakhouse chain. I was happy to get a steak as I was quite sick of eating salads. I had a few white wines and when we got to the club, I had a few more. The club catered for older tastes and I was danced off my feet by him. My heel's were starting to kill me and realised that we girls have to suffer for our beauty. On the way back home we pulled into a lay-by. Then he slid his hand up my dress and it felt quite good even though it shouldn't. His hand slid past my stocking tops and slid into my panties. Even though I'd had my balls removed, I still felt something stir as he leaned over and kissed me. I felt so soft feminine and yielding. Then I had my hand on his penis which was out of his trousers. I soon found myself bent over his lap and I was taking a man's prick in my mouth. At first I was unhappy but then I remembered that Anne had threatened me with a thrashing if I didn't. To think that I was once a normal wealthy man and now I was not only a woman but a cock sucker too. I started to lick his balls as I'd been taught by Anne. Then I licked up and down his 7-inch penis. I brought my mouth down over the throbbing dick then licking all along it and sucking so that he was shooting his load into my mouth. I swallowed as I'd been told to do by Anne. It was in one way revolting but another part of me felt that it wasn't that bad. Then after he'd recovered he took me behind and it was much better than using Anne's strap on. He was very gentle with me. I thought that I might not want to be a girl but being a girl was starting to affect me. I went home that night confused and worried about what I was becoming. I went to bed and I lay there thinking about things. I wasn't going to get my old life back and I knew that it was time to make the best of what I had. I hadn't decided to have the op by that time but then I realised that I had to be the best TS woman I could be as it seemed I had no other choice. That night with Jack confirmed what I deep down I already knew. I went out with Jack for 4 months and when he left, Anne found me another guy called Dave Williams. Although Dave was nice, I think I liked Jack better. I have now dated ten different men that Anne's found for me. I couldn't understand why they were all nice and not horrid. At that time I was going out with John Fairchild who was another nice guy. So I went to her and asked if I could talk to her. She said, "Yes." I said, "Ok I'll cut to the chase. I wasn't keen on going with guys now I feel ok with it to a point in fact where I try to enjoy it. But I wanted to ask you how come all the guys are so nice but horny? I would have thought you would of set me up with horrid men." "Why because of what I did and you hate me?" she answered. Then she took me in her arms, "Oh baby once I did and I still want you to suffer to a point but I don't hate you anymore. You are becoming more and more a woman like my sister wanted to be and that scumbag man that you used to be is so dead." I started to cry and she held me in her arms as I cried. She kissed me and then she lifted my skirt. She lowered my panties and started to finger my pussy so I started moaning. She put me in her bed and fucked me with the strap on. I awoke in the morning and she was lying there with her arm across my tits. She'd made sure I would never fuck a woman again but who said anything about her doing the fucking. . I went to my room, showered and then got dressed in a jade coloured skirt with matching silk top shoes. After applying my make-up I went downstairs and I made us both breakfast. It was just some grapefruit, coffee and a few slices of toast. I took them upstairs and dutifully served her breakfast in bed. "You look nice," she said to me. "Thank you my dear," I replied and then wondered why I'd said that. Oh crap have I over stepped the mark? She looked at me and I thought, 'oh damn! It's a spanking or worse.' I waited as she looked at me and laughed, "My what brought that on sweetie?" I just stood there. "Eer er hmm I don't know." I said. "Ok, ok calm down you're ok. I'm not upset with you sweetie." 'Oh good,' I thought. "Tell you what cutie how about we hit the shops? We'll take your cute ass out and have some girly fun." "Yes great. I think that would be cool," I answered. "Ok scoot sweetie," she said and reached over pat my rear. I scooted and went downstairs. I felt that something had changed between us. I was still very scared of her but there was something else now. I would not call it love but then maybe it was a scary love like loving the female terminator in T3 or something. I think they call it the Stockholm Syndrome where hostages bond with their captors. Was this happening here I wondered? I think wherever this goes it will still be me wearing the skirts! Oh crap I'm so messed up in my head I don't know what's up or down is anymore. I know I just want to be happy. So I perhaps I have to grab it where it comes Anne came down the stairs wearing a very smart light grey trouser suit, high heels and matching bag. She looked just so feminine but yet powerful all at once. Her make up, her hair give her really beautiful look. I felt ugly beside her and started crying. "Oh sweetie what's up?" she asked. I told her how I felt so she grabbed hold of my hand and dragged me to the large mirror. "Look at yourself! Really look," she commanded. "Yes you're tall and you're well built, but you are not ugly. Every woman has her own beauty and to think I have helped you from being that ugly male to becoming such a lovely woman. I still think you were wrong to bully Julie but that was then. I have killed off the old you and in his place you have come into being. For so long I hated you and wanted to hurt you. But I think I love you as the woman you are and I have never loved a woman before." Wow I thought this is a turn up for the books. "Now don't think you can now do whatever you like and play silly games," she said getting serious. "I can still and I will kick you like a football around this house. In this relationship I will always be the Boss but I think you've come a long way and I want you to be mine." 'Bloody hell things are moving fast,' I thought as I realised that I'd just been told in her hard nose way that she loved me. After eating we both checked our make up. I redid my eye make up after my tears. Then we went out to my little pink car and were happy to see that it was a lovely spring day. As I went to get into the car, Anne opened the door for me so I smiled and got in. Then on the drive to the mall, we had to stop for an Army Police checkpoint but it was just a quick ID check and eye scan. Being TS was not seen as a problem because my details were all in the database. So we didn't endure too long of a delay before pulling into the car park. It was an old mall but the shopping was good so we walked into the Mall at the front door. There was the usual armed police checkpoint and it just used an ID thumb print scan. These checks were inconvenient but they'd hit the terrorists hard and made it hard for them to operate. With all this security about, crime had dropped but there was still some about who chanced their luck. We went shopping and I got a few looks being tall but with so many overweight people about they were envious looks. We just hit all the shops and shopping was such fun. I had one of the best days since I'd transitioned as Rebecca. We went into a shoe shop and after trying on every pair in the store, I got a lovely pair of black high heeled boots. 'Did I just think they were lovely?' Then we sat together having coffee and holding hands. I was surprised that she held my hand without busting it, so this was a good day. Then again anyday above ground is a good day, but today has been the best in a while. There I was with the lioness and she loved me. Oh I know I'll still get spanked, paddled and beaten because that's the way she is. If I piss her off I go into the corner with a very red sore backside. But she will at least love me as she was doing it. Hopeful she won't love me enough to put me into Hospital. I also know that she wouldn't only love me but protect me and that's good to know. There was fat chance of getting the company again. I was her secretary and that's all so I had to get used to it. But she loves me. She will always be the boss inside work or out. Yet even so I now know she loves me. I then realised that I loved her. I still fear her but I also love her. I went to the ladies toilets with her to touch up our make up. After we did our business and washed our hands, there was no-one except us. At that moment she took me in her strong feminine arms and deep kissed me. Then she patted my rump, "Come on kitten more shops await." I'd been shopping before on my own or with Sue and it was OK. Sue is mad keen on it but today had just been the best. After shopping in John Lewis for some make up and lovely pink nail polish we went back out to my car where she opened my door again. That was just so nice and I was feeling so feminine. The way Anne had treated me made me feel so good. As I was driving back toward her house she said to me, "Baby I love you. It's so much better than hating. I still like guys and I think you've started to like them too so we will still go out with our boyfriends but we will also have fun ok?" 'As if I had any choice,' I admitted to myself. "Ok," I said to her as I drove towards the Bristol main check point . "Anne we'd better go on the city by-pass route which was part of the old M32 .As we haven't booked for a city enter checkpoint pass we'll get into trouble." "Don't worry baby I've got a pass arranged and we're going into the City for a great meal at the new restaurant that opened at City Point." She replied. "Do they do a good steak there?" She laughed, "Now that's the guy shining though there baby." I drove slowly up to the heavy concrete blocks and the barrier. As expected the security was tight and they were there in full body armour. They were armed to the teeth. We both showed our Ids, retina scans, full body scans and the car was checked out top to bottom. Then they let us through. I was able to park easily in the front of the Restaurant since the ban of vehicles meant that there was always good parking. We walked in holding hands. "You know why I am in trousers sweetie?" Anne asked "Yes," I whispered. "It mean's you wear the pants in our relationship." "Right on baby," she replied. We were shown to a nice table and the evening that had started so well just got better. The meal was just great and she ordered a large steak with all the trimmings for me. She said, "This one time and maybe special occasions otherwise it's salads." We also had champagne but I only had one glass because I was driving. But then she poured another she said, "Sweetie don't worry I have booked us into a hotel just a quick walk from here so you can have a drink too." 'What a red letter day it had turned out to be,' I thought. The meal turned out to be a dreamy night with the wine and music. 'Oh God,' I thought. 'Dreamy? Did I think dreamy? The girl in me is really taking hold. I'd loved being a guy yet now I felt so feminine. Oh bloody hell.' We walked to the hotel. Well she walked, I sort of weaved a bit and she helped me along. I was giggling and trying to kiss her so she just laughed. I wanted to get to bed and I wanted her to take me. We got the lift up to our room and it was just so lovely. I felt her pick me up in her strong arms and took me to the bedroom. It's funny I'm a lot bigger and I'm fit and yet she is much more stronger. It scares me yet makes me also feel safe from others. We made love that night not just sex but love as two women and it was just great. I awoke with her arms across my tits and her head resting there too and it felt so nice. Once up she had a couple of new outfits sent over for us to try. A smart red knee length dress and jacket with matching shoes and bag for me. A mini skirt in black leather, white top with leather jacket, black leather high-heeled boots for her. She look super hot. After she paying the hotel bill she drove my car with the hood up because it was raining. It had been great driving with the hood down and my lovely boss (and now lover) as my passenger. The looks we'd been getting and even I'd had some good comments made it feel fun. 'Why am I thinking so girly nowadays?' On the way home we stopped off at a beauty salon called Beauty's Rest in Backwell to have our hair done, legs waxed and all the works for another girly day! A woman who was a good friend to Anne and Julie ran the salon. She was a 50-year-old lady 6 foot tall but very lovely. However 24 years earlier she was called David while now her name is Dawn Peters. She lived for beauty, fashion and her hunky boyfriend called Richard who she'd known for 9 years. He was 43 years old and two inches taller than Dawn. He was a well-built guy with short black hair so that even I fancied him a bit. Did I think that? We walked in together and were both warmly welcomed. I at first hated these sessions but over time I enjoyed them more and more. I quite liked my shoulder length chestnut brown hair and Anne looked great with her blond hair falling gently to her shoulders. We decided to just have a hair wash without the colour or style being changed. A full leg and arm hair wax everywhere was next followed by having our nails done. I have mine long but not too long and they were painted a lovely red. It's very relaxing having your hair done. However the wax stings and hurts but having your nails done is really nice. I'm thinking so girly now. Dawn made sure we were treated like queens and we had such a lovely time. We chatted with the other girls but all too soon we had to leave and be on our way. I don't always go out just with Anne a lot of times I go out with Sue. My dear friend is such a lovely person and such fun. She'd been taking a lot flack from the jerks at work before Anne sorted it out. But now she's far happier and so full of fun. She still works as a forklift truck driver and everybody likes her because she's a very hard worker. One day I drove over to her flat on Locking Road in Weston super Mare. Her flat was small and rented not far from a small parade of shops near a petrol station. I knew she was home as I walked past her small Japanese hatchback. It was in good condition and she loved her little red car. I went to the front door of her flat. It had been a house built at the turn of the last century and then converted into two flats in the seventies. However the front door had blue paint peeling and was obviously being neglected by her landlord. I rang her bell and I waited a couple of minutes. She came down the stairs and she was so happy to see that it was me that she gave me a big girly hug and kiss. I was invited inside for the first time since she'd moved there from her old bedsit. We went upstairs to her small one bedroom flat. As I walked in it was just lovely because she had it done out in a feminine manner. The colours were soft and feminine with lovely soft drapes covering the windows. I walked into the living room which also had a kitchen area, a shower room and small bedroom.The bedroom had loads of fluffy toys on the bed because she was nuts about teddy bears and dolls. The wardrobe was full of female clothes and some of her stuff was hanging neatly on the wardrobe doors. She made us both coffee and I also had a chocolate biscuit. Sue was wearing a lovely black pleated skirt, white top cut low to show off her breasts just a little. She also had on some black high heeled boots and a cute little black jacket. I was wearing a below the knee length cotton skirt with a flower print and brown suede high heel boots. My black cotton top showed a little of my cleavage and I had my black casual jacket. I like most women unless it's hot weather love boots. There's something very feminine, sexy and empowering about boots. There's me thinking like a girl yet again. Oh well might as well now. After coffee we went down to my car and because she likes the current music I let her tune it into BBC Radio 1. I hate that station but what the hell. We drove to the M4 motorway and then joined it at St George's to head towards Bath. We were two girls out for the day shopping. It was heavy traffic and after nearly two hours we made it to the Park and Ride. I parked up the car and then we waited for the bus. As we was stood there chatting Sue noticed a couple of young guys. One was a dark haired and the other was blonde. They were in their early twenties and very fit. Sue said to me, "Oh they are just so cute." She sure liked boys. The problem for me was that at last I did too and it scared me. One noticed us looking over and smiled back at us. They both came over and that's when Sue and I noticed that they were holding hands. 'Oh bummer they're gay how come all the real nice good looking guys are bloody gay?' I thought. The blonde one said, "Hi ladies I noticed you looking over and we thought you might like to chat. My name's Dave and this is my partner Peter." We both held out our hands and we gently shook their hands which were quite soft. They then asked us if we were going shopping and we said yes. They seemed like a pair of nice guys. A while ago I would have labelled them as poofs or queers but now to me they were just nice guys. I was chatting with Dave and he asked how it had been since I'd transitioned. So I told him that I was annoyed that my height and build gave me away but he'd also sussed Sue too. Sue is very passable girl and to spot her meant that he was good at it. The bus came and we all got on. I paid our fares and the ride didn't take long as we chatted all the way. After we got off the bus, shopping was lots of fun as they were really great guys. Peter was a policeman while Dave was a nurse. When we found out I said, "bet you both look good in uniform." They blushed. Dave then told me at one nurse's party, the girls at a leaving party for a young nurse getting married had him dress in a ladies dress uniform. We laughed at that but he told me he also done some drag acts at different pubs and clubs. That night out was wild he said, "girls sure know how to have a good time." Sue and I laughed at that. We went into Debenhams and tried on dresses, skirts, trousers and tops. We were having a great old time. Dave and Peter were fun company we almost talked Dave into trying on a skirt and top. It's a pity he didn't as I think he would have looked cute. Then Sue and I found this great little shoe shop. Anne had given me a credit card for my shopping as long as it was only spent on feminine things, so I was going to give it a caning. The boys were unlike straight guys and were egging us on. They kept telling us what looked great and what looked yucky. The two shop assistant girls didn't take long to suss out that they were both gay. Sue and I went mental and we tried on every pair of shoes or boots in the place. I got 3 pairs of high heel shoes because I'm not allowed to wear flats and a real great pair of knee length boots with 4 inch heels. If I am going to have to be a girl I will be the best one I can be. I got Sue (and she did not argue) 4 pairs of shoes, two pairs of boots and one pair that would be great with her black trousers that she'd just bought. Well Anne wasn't just her boss but was almost like an Aunt to her because she just loves TS women. After Anne beat up that bully Sue treated Anne as almost a goddess and she worshipped the ground she walks on. So I didn't think Anne would mind a few hundred pounds being spent on her. With the day coming to a close we said our goodbyes to our new friends. We have stayed friends with them because Anne also knew Peter. She knew so many policemen and a lot of the army special forces too. Both Peter and Dave have been to Anne's house to visit us. Although her boss at work, both Sue and Anne are good friends outside. Anne is such a woman of contrasts. On one hand she's a stone cold killer and tougher that the toughest of men I know. Yet she can be so kind and loving to those who can't stand up for themselves. She's been a solider and a warrior yet is still a very feminine and lovely woman. Her body is strong and powerful yet still beautiful. She's unlike some who have served their country and has no bigoted ways about her. I at first feared and hated her so much because this woman had me by the balls then had them removed. I knew she could kill me with one hand if she wanted yet she could also be so kind and loving. Over time my hate slowly turned to love and I still feared her. I was now very submissive towards her. The fear also became a strange thrill for me and I felt an almost electric shock when she touched me. Oh I would never have picked my new sex but please God I now love, fear and need her so much. The man I was she'd broken and remade as a feminine kind loving TS. At first it was just an act but over time a deep down change came over me. I became what she wanted me to be. I'd rather be a man at one level but now there is so much I love about my new life. For the first time I have real friends and not people who wanted me for my money or what I could do for them. I had another friend who has just started at Anne's company. She's a TS too. Eve is 45 and an ex Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineer who does all servicing and maintenance on the company trucks and vans. She's my height but only a size 16 and she was an attractive blonde. Yes another blond TS in the company. She wasn't yet 100 % passable but she was till good looking. Eve like Sue became a good friend. Yet I was also friendly with the other 9 ladies who worked in the office. I was also on friendly terms with the guys who worked at the warehouse and our transport department on the main site. I must admit I loved the way some of them looked at my legs and I knew two liked me enough so I went out on dates with them. I remember the fun I had sucking Joe's cock while Anne was busy inspecting a load that had just come in. We were in the cleaning tools cupboard and while we were in there Anne was busy sorting out the job. I thought I got away with it but did she laugh. A little later in the office she had me across her lap and hand spanked me so bloody hard all the girls knew what I had been up to and that Anne had found out. She just gave Joe a rollicking. She told him that if we wanted to fuck, then we could fuck but not on her time. The old Army Sergeant in her came out now and then. But she liked Joe who was a nice guy in his thirties. He was dark and good looking. The woman that was Anne always surprised me. I came home from shopping with Sue and Eve in tow and we all heard a lovely sound of music. She was in the living room with a lovely new piano and she was playing it like an angel. I knew she could sing and she had a lovely voice but I never knew this new talent. All three of us stood there with an open mouth. She turned to us and asked, "like it girls?" "Oh yes," we all said. "I learnt how to play in the Middle East because you can't go girly shopping there," she explained. 'Is there nothing she can't do?' I thought. She even had a private pilot's licence like me. One day she hired a twin and took us up and I was allowed to fly it. It'd been a while but it was fun. I thought I was good at flying but she was a real top gun as I watched her play. She was an alpha female. So that's my life. I never asked for this I would not have wanted it. Yet I was now a TS woman and I was now a lover of men but I was in love with my ruler and lover. She who was so feared by me and yet now so loved. So as I await my now beloved Mistress to come out of her office. I wait in fear and also with love boiling inside me. In some ways I have never felt so alive. I will never be the rich powerful man I was and in some way I am less but in many ways I was much more than I was. I have been forced into this life so I may as well live it and hopefully love it. What else can I do? So that's my life as a enforced TS woman. But I could be in a worse state dead or in prison. A woman is not bad in fact its in many ways it is so bloody good.