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Life in a full circle Part one Holding the scissors in my hand. I heard my mother and my mother in law banging at the door screaming, "Honey, are you ok in there" They must be thinking I am hurting myself in the bathroom. Since the day my husband died two weeks ago, there were numerous times I thought about ending my own life. I really wish I have the courage to do it, but I know Andrew wouldn?t want me to hurt myself if he is looking over my shoulder. I took a deep breath, look at the mirror one last time, and I cut off my long beautiful black hair. I gathered all the hair that felt on the floor, put it in the garbage can, and I told myself, "May the new life begin." Chapter one - The first beginning I opened the door; I saw my mother and my mother in law?s face were pale white. I don?t know if it has something to do with my new look or were they scared of me hurting myself in the bathroom earlier. They were obviously shocked. I walked over to them and gave them a hug, and said, "Don?t worry, I won?t think about hurting myself anymore. I think Andrew in heaven would like to see me be strong, and move on with my life." Both of them started crying, and my mother in law Denise gave me a kiss on my forehead, and said, "Honey, you really scared us, don?t you ever do that again." We hold each other for a long moment, wiped our tears and walked to the kitchen. Not having been having a real meal for the last two weeks, I can hear my stomach grouching, however, my stomach was so empty that I can?t really hold any solid food. "Mother, do you mind warming a glass of milk for me, I want to take a bath and go to bed early." I lay on my bed, holding on Andrew?s pillow, wishing I could still smell the scent of my lost husband. My mother came in, gave me a couple of sleeping pills, and I felt asleep peacefully. In the middle of the night, I heard someone said, "Alex, wake up." It?s my biological dad (Now my mother). Wait a minute, the picture looks familiar; It is the night my daddy told me mother had left us. A memory that I left behind many many years ago. "Daddy, what?s wrong?" I said. "Honey, I want you to go pack all your things, we have to leave town tonight." Daddy looked a little panic. "Where are we going? Where is mommy?" I asked. Dad was obviously quite angry. Before I began to ask another question, he hold onto my hand firmly and said, "Stop it, right now. Be a good boy and pack all your things in the bag, we have to leave now. Mommy won?t be joining us, I will explain later, OK?" I know something had happened to mommy, I started walking to my room crying. I packed all my clothes into a large black bag that daddy gave me, along with my few toys. I walked to the dinning room with my pajamas still on, holding onto the bag, which was literally taller than me. I sensed that Daddy do not want to see me cry at the moment, and I tried stopping myself, however, being a 5 year old boy losing his mother for the first time, my tear just flooded from my eyes uncontrollably. Daddy came over to me and said, "Alex, you are a really good boy. Now, I want you to do one more thing for daddy." "What is it daddy?" "When I opened the front door, I want you to follow me as close as you can, and walk very quietly to the car, will you do that for daddy?" I nodded. I don?t know what is going on, but looking at daddy?s face, I am very scared. I try to walk as quietly as I could, but every step I took sound as if I was stumping my feet on the floor. Dad opened the door very quietly; he looked left and right, we walked quietly to the car, got into the car. The moment daddy started the car, we heard some guys slammed on the trunk and yelled, "Stop it right there, asshole" Daddy shifted to drive and step on the gas like Jeff Gordon, all I heard was some guys screaming from the back, "You are dead meat, you and your fucking wife are dead fucking meat." Daddy kept looking at the rear mirror and I could see his hands shaking. We drove and drove for hours, and it was the first time I saw the sunrise. Chapter two ? Being a girl for a day After hours and hours of driving, we pulled into a junk yard. A very disgusting man came out, took some paper work from daddy, and we were off to go. We took a cab to the nearest town, got a motel room, and ordered a pizza to our room. There were so many times I wanted to ask Daddy what happened? Where are we going? However, looking at daddy?s face. I know I better kept my mouth shut. I felt asleep right after lunch, and when I woke up, I saw daddy holding a bunch of different soft fabrics, and start cutting away. Since my father was one of the best tailors in town, it wasn?t really an unusual site. The unusual part was that I thought daddy only make suits for customers, it was the first times I saw him using such delicate fabrics. May be daddy is making mommy a new dress, and surprise her when she returns. The thought of mommy was going to join us; I was in a better mood already, so I went off to watch television. I felt asleep again after a couple hours of cartoon. When I woke up in the morning, I had to go to the bathroom really bad. I must have too much soda the night before. I was actually quite proud that I didn?t wet the bed. Banging on the bathroom door, I was screaming, "Daddy, I have to use the bathroom." I heard a fairly unfamiliar voice coming from the bathroom saying, "Wait a minute honey, I am almost done." When the door opened, I rushed to the toilet bowl, dropped my pants and peed like a racehorse. I turned around and about to go washed my hands. It scared me shitless to see a lady by the bathroom sink. When I collected myself after a few seconds, I realized that is no lady, that?s my daddy. My mouth was wide opened, why is daddy dressed like Ms Jenny, my kindergarten teacher? "Alex, go brush you teeth and come out to try your new clothes on when you are done." The image of my father dressing as a woman had obviously shocked me quiet a bite. I was so shocked that I actually brushed my teeth for a full five minute. When I came out of the bathroom, I took a good look at my father again. He had multiple curlers on his hair, make up on his face, a pair of large earrings, and wait a minute, the dress that he made last night for actually for himself? "Daddy, why are you dress like this?" I asked. "Honey, there are some really bad people waiting for us in the airport, and to avoid those people, we have to dress like this for a day. Do you understand?" "But daddy, I am not a girl, and I hate girls, they are always so mean." "Honey, mommy is waiting for us at the airport, if we don?t hurry up, she is going to catch the plane without us." Hearing daddy mentioned mommy is waiting for us at the airport; I went over to the chair and tried to put the dress on right away. With all the laces and ribbons on the dress, I had quite a bit of trouble putting on the little dress. The next thing I know, daddy was brushing my shoulder length black hair to two pigtails, and started tying pink ribbons to the end of them. Next, he held on to my hands, and applying pink nail polish to my nails. When he?s done, he stepped back a couple of steps, took a good look at me and said, "Honey, you look adorable, you look like a Barbie doll." She gave me a little peck on the face, went to the bathroom, took off his curlers, and we were off to go. When we arrived at the airport, daddy put a Barbie doll in my hand, and told me to hold on to it. My tears were rushing to the corner of my eyes, but I know Mommy is waiting inside. I tried very hard to contain myself. When we were at the ticket counter, daddy said in a very feminine voice, "Two tickets to California, please." The lady in the uniform smiled and said, "And your name, Madam?" "Mrs. O?Connor, Beth O?Connor, and this is my daughter, Alexis O?Connor." Wait a minute; I thought daddy?s name is Ben. Before I opened my mouth, daddy spoke, "Honey, do you want some ice cream later with mommy?" I nodded. The lady in the uniform smiled again, "She is such a cute little princess. How many bags will you be checking, Mrs. O?Connor?" "Just two, we are moving to California, my husband left a week ago to settle in first, we are really looking forward to the warm weather." While daddy was chit chatting with the lady, I kept looking around, and see if mommy is anywhere in site. What I noticed was, there were a few familiar faces. They came to my father?s Tailor store every other week to collect money. Every time after they left, daddy and mommy will go to the back fitting room shouting at each other. By the look on their faces, they looked like they were looking for someone. I think Daddy has noticed that also. After we got our tickets, we waited in line and got ready to check in. I started to get worried; I thought mommy is waiting for us here. "Where is Mommy?" I asked. Although daddy had his make up on, I could tell he was a little nervous. He brushed my hair a little, and said, "Mommy is waiting in the plane, and we need to hurry." Before we went in to the gate, we saw the mafia looking giants grabbing a thin man on his arm and shove him onto the floor along with his young son. Daddy held on to my hand, and we rushed to the back waiting area. (Keep in mind; this is twenty five years before 9-11. Securities in the airport aren?t really their main priority.) Finally we were on the plane, mommy was nowhere to be seen. I started crying. Not knowing my father was trying his best to protect me, I hated him at the moment. I started yanking the ribbons off my dress, and I was making a big scene. Daddy knew if he doesn?t get me under control, we might have a chance of getting kicked out of the plane. So he took me to the back of the plane, on the way, he got a bottle of apple juice from the flight attendant. We went into the bathroom; he tried to comfort me as much as he could. The next thing you know, the flight attendant started knocking on the door. Daddy handed me the juice, and asked me to drink all of it. After ten minutes of crying, I was actually quite thirsty. I downed the whole bottle of juice, and the next thing I know, I was sleeping like an angel. A lovely angel on the sky heading towards her California dreams. Chapter three - California Dreaming The first week in San Francisco weren?t really easy for us. We had no one to contact, no place to live, and we were running out of money. We stayed in a really cheesy motel where people would come in and out to do drugs or spent an hour with the street hookers. During the day, daddy and I would try apartment hunting; at night we would stay in our motel room. Hearing these people screaming and yelling from next door, it was like living in hell. Fortunately, our luck has changed. The next day while we were out hunting for apartments, we saw a bunch of angry women protesting on the streets. Many of them took off their bras and panties and burned them in public. Sometimes things worked in mysterious ways. The protesters actually gave daddy an idea. However, it was an idea that I really didn?t like. The following day, daddy woke me up early in the morning. "Oh my god, not again." I saw daddy was dressed in that beautiful dress that he made for himself, applying make up on his face, and styling his should length brunette hair to the most feminist style. Looking from the back. Daddy can be easily passed as a young beautiful woman. He was slim, curved on the hip, and he has the long slender legs that any woman would die for. Well, next thing you know, he put me on that damn pink dress again. Daddy bought a newspaper, and we started going around town looking for apartments. Daddy pretended he was a single mother from out of town, struggling to find a good home to raise her little daughter. I played along; I was acting as cute as I could. As a matter of fact, a few owners dropped the rent and beg us to move in. Knowing the strategy worked, daddy wanted to try a couple more places closer to downtown, so he doesn?t need to get a car to work. After a full day of walking, we were heading off to go get some dinner. When we were walking down the hill, Daddy slipped on the sidewalk. His three-inch high heels snapped, and he was on the pavement in some serious pain. His ankle was swollen like a balloon. I asked people to help, and a gentleman came to us and said, "Miss, are you ok?" My dad was in tears, he couldn?t even lift himself up, he said "My ankle is hurting quite a bit, I am afraid I have to sit down somewhere." "If you don?t mind, my apartment is just upstairs, you and your daughter can come up and rest until your ankle feels better." Father knows we don?t have a whole lot of options, and while he struggled to lift himself up. The gentleman carried my father in his arms and head towards the elevator in the building. When we were off the elevator, we saw one door to the left and one to the right. The kind man put my father down and head to the door to the right. "Holy smokes, the apartment was huge", I thought. After we sat down, the kind man went to the kitchen and got my father a bucket of ice. My father looked around and said. "You have quite a place here." "I didn?t expect guest coming today, Let me clean up a little bite. " "Are you living here by yourself?" "No, I have two boys, and they are about your daughter?s age. They should be home pretty soon." While I was walking around playing with their toys, my father said, "Thank you for helping us, you are very kind. By the way, I am Beth, and that is my daughter Alexis." "Nice to meet you both, I am Dennis Franklin." "By the way, do you know any small apartment for rent around here? We are from out of town, and we had a heck of a time finding a decent apartment that we can afford." "As a matter of fact, I do. I was trying to rent out the apartment next door. My wife used to use the apartment for sewing and storing things, but she passed away a year ago, and I don?t have any use for the place. We can go take a look when your ankles feels better." A moment later, we walked next door; we were amazed how big the place was. "Wow, the place is huge, I don?t know if we can afford this. In fact, I am still trying to find a job in town." "Don?t worry about the rent, you can pay me when you get a job. I rather have you and daughter live here than just putting it to waste." While we were looking around, we noticed there were boxes and boxes of clothes, and obviously no one had lived here for a while. "Are all these clothes belong to your wife? I am sorry, I don?t mean to be insensitive." "That?s Ok. Well, those are the clothes that we couldn?t sell. My wife and I own the boutique and the gallery across the street. My wife used to custom design clothes for customers, but since she passed away, business has been dropping quite a bit. Good tailors are hard to find, and I am thinking of closing the place down." "If you don?t mind, I would like to try out for the job. I used to design clothes when I was in New York. "That is fantastic." While Mr. Franklin was telling my daddy about his boutique, we heard the elevator opened and two boys rushed out to the elevator and ran toward Mr. Franklin. "Oh, the monsters are home." An older lady followed them and said. "Mr. Franklin, I am so sorry I have to get you out of the shop early today. My husband caught a cold yesterday, and I want to head home and see how he is doing." "Don?t worry, Linda. I can handle it from here. I hope Tom feels better. Oh, by the way, let me introduce you to our new neighbor, Beth and Alexis. Beth will be working in our boutique starting Monday." "Daddy, daddy. Who are they?" The younger of the two boys asked. "They are our new friends, and they will be joining us for dinner tonight.?" The older boy came to me and said, "I am Andrew, and this is my younger brother Jack. My dad just bought us a new set of Lego, you want to play with us?" "Your boys are so cute. Especially Andrew, he is a very polite young man." My mother said. "Since their mother passed away, I have been really worried about them. Good thing Andrew is looking after his younger brother, which really helped me quite a bite. By the way, how is your ankle? Why don?t you wash up, and I will prepare dinner." Chapter four ? Busted After a delicious dinner, Mr. Franklin insisted to drive us to our motel and picked up our stuff. We took one long last look of the motel and wished we would never come back again. After a long day, I was quite tired. Daddy cleaned up the apartment a little bit, and we head to bed. The next morning, we heard someone was knocking on the door. Daddy jumped off the bed, and yelled. "Who is it?" "It is me, Dennis. We were wondering if you and Alexis would join us for breakfast." "Just a second,." Daddy ran into the bathroom, quickly checked himself and see if he need to shave, and covered himself up with a bathrobe. Good thing the bathrobe was thick enough to cover you know, "His morning woody." I opened the door, and Mr. Franklin came in and said "Good morning sunshine, are you ready for breakfast?" Next thing you know, Jack rushed in and tackled me to the ground. We were on the ground laughing. Then Jack asked, "Daddy, can we go watch TV now?" We ran back to Mr. Franklin?s place and watched Saturday cartoon. "Do you have a good night sleep? I hope the bed isn?t too hard for your back" "The bed was fine, in fact, it was the best sleep I haven?t had for weeks. I want to thank you again for helping us. I don?t know how we can ever repay you." "Don?t mention it." Mr. Franklin said. The next couple of weeks, we settle in quite nicely. Daddy started working in the boutique, and the customers loved her. Not only she had kept all the old accounts, but she also managed to bring in a bunch of new customers. Mr. Franklin was so happy with my daddy?s work; he gave daddy a pay raise after a month. While daddy was working hard in the boutique, Mr. Franklin managed to have Linder babysat me along with Andrew and Jack. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- --------- One day, while we were having lunch. Jack accidentally knocked on the table while I was drinking my milk. The whole glass of milk spilled all over my clothes. Ms Linder hurried to the kitchen and tried to get a towel. After cleaning up, Ms Linder brought me to the bathroom, and said, "Honey, while don?t you take off your clothes, and let me wash them." She turned around and said, "Andrew, honey, can you go get Alexis some clothes to change." I started panicking. What am I going to do? Ms. Linder came over and took off my top, and she said, "Honey, you are soaked, why don?t you take shower." When Ms Linder?s hand got close to my pants, I hold on to my buckle, and started crying. "What?s the matter, honey?" I tried and I tried very hard to keep my pants on, but Ms Linder somehow got my pants off, and oh god. She froze like an icepack. "What the hell?" While both of us were frozen, Andrew came in, and he saw me buck-naked. His mouth was wide opened and he immediately dropped the clothes to the floor, and ran back to the dinning room. A few hours later, Daddy and Mr. Franklin got home. Once they opened the door, I started crying, and ran back to our apartment. Mr. Franklin asked what happened? "Dennis, can I have a word with you." Ms Linder said. Daddy noticed something was wrong "I better go see if she is ok." Daddy came in and asked me what happened, I cried and cried, and after a few minutes, I managed to tell daddy what happened. Daddy sighed, "Honey, it?s not your fault. I am a fool to think we can keep our secrets forever. I guess we will have to look for somewhere else to stay." Twenty minutes later, Mr. Franklin came in; he headed over to me, brushed my hair and said, "How is my little princess? Are you ok?" I don?t know what to say, I nodded, and I looked at daddy. "Why don?t you go play with Andrew and Jack. Me and Mommy want to chat for a little bite, is that OK with you?" I nodded, and head over next door. "I guess you finally find out. I am so sorry I lied to you. Can I ask you for one more favor, can we stay until the morning? We will leave early tomorrow, and you will never see us again" Daddy said. "Beth, don?t be silly. I know. As a matter of fact, I know the first time when I met you. Remember? I carried you to the elevator. I am glad that it happened. Now, you don?t need to be worrying about getting your cover blown." Mr. Franklin said. "But why? Don?t you think I am sicko dressing my son as a girl?" Daddy asked. "I am sure you have your reasons. As a matter of fact, I haven?t been completely honest with you either." Mr. Franklin said. "So, you are saying you won?t kick us out?" Daddy said. "Only in one condition. You keep working in my boutique. I can?t afford to lose you from the store. What am I going to say to all the customers when they all come in and ask for you." Daddy finally smiled, " Dennis, you are very kind. I must have done something right my previous life, to let me meet the kindness person like you. And since we are friends, I don?t want to keep any secrets from you." "I am actually a man, just like Alexis." Chapter five ? No good wife It all happened about a year ago. My wife, Alexis real mother, she had a gambling addiction. At first, she would only go to the casino for fun with her girlfriends during weekends. After winning a couple of times, she was hooked. She had completely changed to another person. All she could think about was gambling. Not only she had lost all our savings, but she started borrowing money from the loan sharks at the casinos. At first, I would make free suits for those guys as interests. (You know how mafia like their white suits. All the Pacino wanna be). After a while, the debt was out of control. There was no way we could pay it off. Those guys started to come in and smash things around in front of the customers. After a month or so, all my regular customers had gone somewhere else. I was desperate; I don?t know what to do. One day, the guys came in and did their usual thing, smash things around and trash my tailor store. I went to the register and got my gun, I told them to stop. Then they started laughing, "Look at him, he can?t even hold the gun right. What are you going to do, shoot us? You are as good as dead now." My wife started screaming, " Stop it, stop it." I point the gun at my own head and said. "Fine, I will shoot myself, and you won?t get a penny out of me." A very creepy man in the back said, "Well done, Mr. O?Connor. I admired your courage. I have nothing against you or your wife. But you have put me in a very tight spot. To tell you the truth, I really like your tailoring skills. You have no idea how many ladies I have picked up with the suits that you made. I have a proposition for you. I have a shipment in Florida that I need someone to deliver to New York. If you do that for me, we will call it a wash." "What kind of shipment?" I asked. They all laughed, "What do you think?" I really have no choice, so I agreed. We flew down to Florida the next day, it was a wonderful day in Miami, however, I wasn?t in the mood of checking out any young hot girls in their Bikinis. We drove to the warehouse district; pick up the shipment, and started driving back from Florida. I almost shit in my pants when the cops pulled me over. I made up some stupid excuse that my father was sick in the hospital, and I have to get there before he passes away. The officers looked in the car, saw my wife and my son. They figured I couldn?t be do anything illegal, so they wrote me a ticket and let us go. I dropped off the package in a bar after we got back to New York. I told myself, "Finally, the nightmare is over." Things were back to normal for a good couple of weeks, until one day, the mafia came in to my store again. The creepy man walked up and said. "Mr. O?Connor, we meet again." "What the fuck did you do this time." I stared at my wife, and said. "I hate to interrupt your family business, but unfortunately, your wife has borrowed another $50,000 from us, and today is the due day." I scream, "No, I have no more money. You know what, I am not responsible for her debt anymore." The creepy man said, "Very well, you have given me no choice but to put her on the street. She is a little old, but if she takes 20 customers for me a day, she should be able to pay off her debt in a couple of years. Gentlemen, please escort Mrs. O?Connor to our private guest house." The big men started yanking my wife on her arms and drag her out of the door. She screamed and screamed. It was the most horrible sound I have never heard. "Ben, you have to save me. I promise, this is the last time. Ben, please." I said, "Wait a minute, here is a thousand dollars. It is all I have on me right now. Give me two days, and let me call around. I will have your money." "Good, I like doing business with you. You have two days, but meanwhile, I will put you guys under a tight watch. You better don?t think about running. Otherwise, not only I will put your wife on the street, but I will also put your son in the market. I know quite a few rich men in Texas who are really into young cute boys like your son. Gentleman, let?s go. I will see you in two days, Mr. O?Connor." I shouted at my wife, "What have you done to us. What are we going to do now?" "Call your relatives, and see if they can loan us some money." My wife said. "Everyone I know, I had borrowed money from them for the last year to pay off your debt. Do you really think they will loan us any more money." "May be if we deliver another shipment for those guys, they will call it even." My wife said. "Are you out of your mind? No way, if you want to do it. You go right ahead, but I won?t do those kind of things anymore." That night, I put Alex to sleep, and after shower, I lay on my bed and started thinking what I need to do. Should I really reconsider delivering another shipment? What if they say no. They look like they really will take Alex away. I fell asleep after an hour. I woke up in the middle of the night, and my wife was nowhere to be found. I checked around the house, and I saw a note stick to the bathroom mirror. "Ben, by the time when you are reading this letter, I should be on to way to the port. I am so sorry I put you and Alex into this mess. I really tried to quit, but I can?t. I know you will never forgive me for what I have done. I am going to leave the country, and I don?t know if I will see you guys again. I have one last favor to ask. If Alex ever asks about me, please just tell him I am dead. I don?t want to ruin his life by having a no good mother like me. And you, I wish you will find a better woman, someone who is a thousand times better than me. I called my cousin from New Jersey, he managed to steal a car for me and park across the street. The car key is sitting in the car compartment. I wish you and Alex a happy life. Love, Susan." Chapter six -The truth revealed When daddy was telling the story to Mr. Franklin. They had no idea that me and the boys were listening behind the door. I was really sad. I started crying quietly. Andrew came over and gave me a hug and said "It?s ok, Alexis. If your mother doesn?t want you, I will take care of you." "Yeah, Alexis, me too, I will take care of you too." Jack said. Both of them gave me a hug, and we quietly walked back to Mr. Franklin?s apartment. "The rest of the story, I think you can figure out from here." my father said. "So what are you going to do from now? Are you going to live your life as a man again?" Mr. Franklin asked "If you asked me a month ago, I would say yes. But now, I am not so sure. One reason is, I don?t know if those mafia has any connection to any gangs in here. I certainly do not want them to recognize me as Ben O?Connor. After a month being in the female clothing, it doesn?t seem to bother me anymore. As a matter of fact, it really helps me design female clothes when I think of myself as a woman. Besides shaving my legs every couple days, I really enjoy the experience of being a woman." "What about Alexis? I mean Alex?" "That?s what I worry the most. I know he is wearing those clothes just because I asked him to. I certainly don?t want to force him to become someone he is not. I guess if he decides to live as a boy from now on, I will just let it be." "Beth, if you really want to live a woman, I think you should really consider having a new identity. I have friends that work in the state department. May be I can help." "Dennis, I don?t know what to say, you have help us so much. If I am ever interested in guys, you will be the first one I want to marry." Mr. Franklin smiled, and said. "Beth, remembered I mentioned earlier that I haven?t been completely honest with you. I want you to close your eyes, and give me your hands." Daddy closed his eyes and raised his hands. A few seconds later, Mr. Franklin walked right in front of my father, and put my father?s hands on his chest. Daddy?s jaw dropped to the ground, and said. "Dennis, you, you have breasts." Mr. Franklin blushed and said, "Yes, Honey, I am just like you. I am in transition to become a woman." "But why? I mean, you are such a gentleman. You really have me fooled, Dennis." "Since I was a little boy, I always felt I am a girl. However, to be the only child in the family, I really have no choice but to live my life in a lie just to please my parents." "Has anyone seen you dressed as a woman?" "My wife had. At first, she was a little freaked out. But after a while, she accepted me as who I am, and she actually have me modeled for her while she was designing her clothes. When I saw you the first time, I knew you are not a genetic woman. I guess another reason I wanted to help you really is to help myself. To make myself feel better, so that I don?t feel like I am having this transition all alone." "Do Andrew and Jack know?" "Andrew is the quiet one, but he is the smart one. I am sure he knows a little, but he is too embarrassed to talk to me about it. As far as Jack, I suspect he will turn out just like us. And if that day comes, I will accept it as it is. "I hope you don?t mind if I ask. Are the breasts real?" "They are 100% natural. I have been in hormone for about 9 months now. At first, my chest and nipples were a little itchy. After two long months, they started developing. Now they are in A cup, which is not quite visible yet. I am sure in a few more months; I won?t be able to hide them anymore." "What about the, you know. Are you planning to have that ??.removed?" "That is something I am still debating with myself. As far as my sex orientation, I haven?t been with a man before, but lately I have many fantasies being with a wonderful man, and just cuddle and lay in his arms. I know I am a woman, but I am still quite scare of the idea being with a man. As far as my genital, I don?t want to make any radical decisions, but if one day I decide to have the SRS. I am sure I won?t miss it much." "Dennis, I wish I am as clear headed as you are. I have only been as a woman for two months, and I am obviously still pretty confused." "Don?t worry; Beth. You have plenty of time to figure it out. I think your main priority now is to have a new identity for you and Alexis. Trust me, everything will be Ok. And by the way, I prefer you call me Denise when no one is around. We are sisters now." "Thank you Denise. I think we better go check on those monsters, otherwise they are going to burn the building down." Daddy and Mr. Franklin hugged each other and they hold hands walking back to Mr. Franklin?s apartment. Chapter seven ? It?s official. "We are now girls" That night, before we went to bed, daddy came into my room, clean up my toys and he tucked me in. "Alex, can daddy asked you a question?" "Yes, Daddy." "Do you still want to be a girl?" I blushed and I said, "I want to be a girl if daddy wants to me a girl." Daddy smiled, "Are you sure about this. You can?t change back once it is official." "I want to as beautiful as you, mommy." From that night on, I have decided I want to be a girl, I want to be the most girlish girl in the world. Things went very well for the next couple years. With Mr. Franklin, I mean Auntie Denise?s help, we have received new identifications. On my birth certificate, I am listed as "Alexis O?Connor, Female". I was registered to the same private school where Andrew and Jack go. Both of them love me like their sister. They seem to have very little problem with their father?s transition, and they have no problem calling him mommy. Andrew is a very smart and determine young man. Not only he was a straight A student in school, but he is also very athletic. On the other hand, Jack seems to be completely the opposite. He seemed to have more interest in my girlish things than his brother?s science projects. Every time when we play house, he would fight to be the lady of the house. Most of the time, I will let him, and he would beg me to let him try on my clothes. At 7 years old, a year younger than me, Jack is a very good artist. If Picasso is alive, he ought to check out this boy?s work. They were unbelievable. Our favorite thing is to do in our spare time was to sneak into our mommy?s room, and try on their make up. Ms Linder (Our babysitter) and Andrew would laugh and laugh for hours, cause our faces would come out looked like some money asses. As far as my mother and Auntie Denise. They look better than ever. My mother had started Hormone therapy about a year and a half ago. I don?t know if it is the hormone or the good food in west coast. Mommy has put on a couple of pounds, and they all landed in the right places. Mommy was way too skinny before, and now she is just right. Her breasts have developed to an A cup, and with her long brunette hair, beautiful face, and killer slender legs, she looked much better than most models that you see on magazine covers. As far as Auntie Denise, since her voice was much deeper than my mother, she had her vocal chord shaven, and her testicles removed. Along with a couple of facial surgeries and breast implant, she looked like she is a goddess now. Because of their good looks, they have attracted a lot of new customers to the stores. A lot of male customers would come in to spend a lot of money, just hoping they could get my Mom and Auntie?s phone number. But my mom and Auntie Denise would nicely turned them all down every time. May be they are not ready for a relationship yet, or may be they haven?t overcome the fear of being with a man, I don?t know. All I know is, they are closer than ever. Chapter eight ? Puberty Time really flies when you are happy. At eleven, I am the most beautiful girl in school, and most of the boys at school have at least once asked me to be their girlfriends. Besides all the beauty tips that I learned from mom, I have also learned how to tease and turn boys down nicely. Jack has also come out as a girl this year, however, since the school has a reputation of being conservative, they asked Auntie Denise to transfer Jack, now Jaclyn to another school. After a long battle with the local school board, Auntie Denise and my mom had given up. With the help of our mother?s friends, Jaclyn and I were enrolled in a special institute for girls like us. The institute was funded by a large group of unknown organizations. From what we heard, most of those organizations were run by their former alumni. With all the powerful connections that the school has, once you are enrolled, you are almost guaranteed to have a bright future. One night, after supper, me and Jaclyn decided to spend more time on the school project that was due the week after. After finishing the dishes, mother told us that they are not going to interrupt our work. She and Aunt Denise have some work they have to finish, and they will be right next door. Both Jaclyn and I have inherited our mother?s artistic genes, and we are not much of a math magician. While we were struggling with our science project, we saw Andrew walking out of his room getting a glass of water. We immediately beg him to give us some help. Instead of doing the project for us, Andrew patiently guided us step by step. Looking at Andrew, I suddenly have a strange feeling, a familiar feeling that I started to have about a month ago. I felt like my heart was beating faster, and my blood was boiling in my body. Am I attracted to Andrew? I asked myself many times. But Andrew is like my older brother. Every time when I came to that conclusion, I would calm down a little. With Andrew?s help, we finished the project at no time. Jaclyn decided to go to bed early, and I wanted to go home and take a shower. I opened the door; our dinning room was pitch black and I heard some classical music was playing. I figured Mommy and Auntie must be in the work room scratching their brains out. When I walked down the hall to my mother?s work room, they were not there either. I slowly walked to my mother?s room, and I heard some strange noise were coming out from the other side of the door, besides the classical music in the background, I heard Auntie Denise said, "Oh baby, that feels so good." The door was opened just a crack, I walked up very quietly, and the picture horrified me. My mother?s room was light up by many candles. Although it was a little dark, I could see clearly what they were doing. Mother was on her knees, and she, she had Auntie Denise?s penis in her mouth! Aunt Denise?s hands were holding on mother?s hair while my mother was bobbling her head up and down on her penis. "Beth, where did you learn this, this is so??.. good." Aunt Denise said. Mother?s body was all wet, while she was bobbling her head. Her right hand got a hold of the champagne bottle, which was sitting in a bucket of ice. She started licking auntie?s mushroom, and she took a sip of champagne. She held the champagne in her mouth and started bobbing her head again. A couple of minutes later, her left hand reached to another bottle, which was obviously hot, cause steam was coming out from the bucket. She took another sip of the warm milk, and she started bobbling her head once again. Looking at Auntie Denise?s face, she was obviously enjoying the "Iced Fire" sensation. She was standing right in front of my mother with her eyes closed, with both hands playing with her own erected nipples. Both of Auntie Denise?s nipples were pierced, and she had two different length of gold chains connected to both loops. While mother?s left hand was holding auntie?s shaft, and focus sucking on the cock head, her another hand was on her own 6 inch penis stroking away. "Honey, slow down, I am going to cum." Mother slow down her pace a little, and a minute later, she stood up. They started kissing each other with a lot of passion. Meanwhile, Auntie Denise reached to the bed, and got a bottle of lotion, she squeezed a good amount on her hand, and she started licking and sucking on my mother?s nipples. Mother looked like she was in some kind of a pain, she was biting herself. I later on found out it was a posture cause by the most desirable pleasure. Auntie Denise moved her head lower, and mother seems to know Auntie?s next move, she raised her right leg up, and welcome auntie?s fingers into her sissy cunt. While Auntie?s fingers were slowly inserting into my mother?s ass pussy one by one, auntie?s mouth was on my mother?s cock sucking away. After aunt Denise inserted all three of her fingers into my mother?s sissyhole, I heard mother moaning heavily. "Baby, I want you to fuck me good. I missed having your handsome cock in my pussy." Since Aunt Denise had her testicles removed, she seemed to have a little trouble keeping her hard on, and I think mother also noticed that. "Honey, lay on the bed, let me suck your baby a little more." My mother said. While mother was working hard on auntie?s shaft, she licked her fingers a little, and started poking on auntie?s ass pussy. Aunt Denise obviously could feel the excitement; her pricklet was once again stood like a monument. My mother took no chances; she stood up, and aimed her sissyhole right on top of Aunt Denise?s cock head. She slowly sat on the 5 inch monster. When the whole thing was in, both of them were moaning like crazy. My mother started moving faster, she was sitting up and down on Aunt Denise?s shaft, with her hands reaching forward for support. While she was backing her ass up, her B cup titties and her 6-inch clitty were bouncing up and down along with the motion. It was the most beautiful site I have never seen. My mother would pause every couple minutes, and shake her ass in circle motion to catch her breath. While mother was moaning like a cat in heat, Auntie Denise reached up and cupped my mother on her breast. Aunt Denise sat up, leaning again the headboard, and she pounded her hip into my mother?s wonderful ass like a jack hammer. Every time when aunt Denise?s meat poked all the way in, you could hear the "Slapping" sound coming from my mother?s ass. After a good half an hour of pounding, my mother was ready to execute. She reached forward, and she was on all four, and said. "Honey, I want you to cum in my pussy. I want you to make me your girl again." Auntie Denise brushed back her long blond hair; placed both hands on my mother?s hip, and pounded away. My mother was definitely in ecstasy, she kept screaming, "Yes, baby, cum in my pussy. Yes baby, that?s it, cum for me." Auntie Denise started picking up the speed, and she moaned in her high pitched voice, "Baby, I am going to cum." "Yes, baby, cum for me." Auntie?s hip buckle, and she gave it one last push. While she was cumming violently in my mother?s pussy, my mother?s cock was shooting loads and loads of white stuff on the bed sheet. Both of them collapsed on the bed and breathing hard. "Honey, I am so happy. I really missed you fucking me in my pussy. I know with your condition, you can?t do it very night. And I know I have to be the aggressive one. But I want to be on the receiving end every once a while, I want to feel like woman too, you know." Aunt Denise kissed my mother and said, "I know baby, I know." I quietly walked back to the dinning room, opened the front door and slammed it hard. I yelled, "Mom, I am home." I walked into my bathroom, shut the door, and let the water run in the tub. I sat in the hot water for a good half an hour, thinking about the images that I just saw outside of my mother?s bedroom. On the other hand, I wanted to give Auntie Denise enough time for an escape. The whole time when I was in tub, I can?t stop touching myself on my hard and erect clitty. All the sudden, I heard mother knocking on the door, and said, "Honey, can I come in?" "Yes, mother, the door is unlocked." "Honey, how are you doing?" My mother said. "What do you mean, mom?" I replied. "I know you were outside peaking earlier, and I am glad you did." My mother said. My face was bright red, I was busted. "Honey, don?t worry. There is no shame to that. Both Auntie Denise and I have needs, and since we are not dating anyone, we would get together everyday and help each other release. You know, we special girls need a milking at least two or three times a day to maintain our good figures." "Mother, what?s a milking?" I asked. Mother walked closer to the tub, and she was shocked. "Honey, you are so hard. You must be suffering really badly. Let mommy give you a milking now, you poor baby." Mommy walked into the tub, and sat right behind me. She had my head rested on her shoulder and her breasts were like massagers on my back. She skinned my uncircumcised clitty back, and she started stroking away. Her other hand reach to my erect nipples and started pinching it a little. Oh my god, it was the best feeling I have ever had. After a good 30 strokes, my body was getting a little tensed, and I think mother noticed that. She stroked even faster, and said, "Honey, let it all out." My head was spinning, and my hands started cupping my own chest. I cum a bucket, and I was exhausted, my head was spinning for a good five minute. And I heard mother said, "Honey, you are a grown girl now. And girls like us need milking everyday. But remembered, it is not right to milk yourself. I will be giving you a milking 2 times a day from now on. If you need more, don?t hesitate to ask me or Auntie Denise. Also, Jaclyn had started her milking routine about a week ago, and if we are not available, you girls can help each other out, ok." "Thank you, mommy." "Alright, let?s clean you up, and go to bed." Chapter nine ? Fall in love The next day at school during lunchtime, I walked up to Jaclyn and said. "Jackie, how come you didn?t tell me you started the milking routines a week ago." "I thought Aunt Beth already started milking you a long time ago, I guess not." Jaclyn replied. "Actually, she did, but not until last night. And guess what I saw last night?" I said. "What?" Jaclyn asked. "Our mothers were making love to each other." I said quietly. "Jesus, where have you been, Alexis? I knew almost a year ago. Mommy told me everything." Jaclyn said. "Well, my mother is not as open as your mother on things like that." I said. "I know, Aunt Beth seems to be a little conservative compared to my mom, but she is a very classy lady." Jackie said. "I know, I am kind of that way myself. I guess like my mother like daughter. My mother also told me last night if we ever need any help milking while they are not home. We can help each other out." I said. "Really, that will be so much fun." Jackie said. We finished our lunch quickly, and we went back to class. The rest of the afternoon, all the students in my grade were sent to the school doctors to have our body check up. While I was in the doctor?s office, the school nurse helped me get my clothes off. She measured my height, chest size, and my blood pressure. A minute later, the school doctor came in. She was a very tall beautiful lady. She asked me to lie down on the recliner, and relax. While I was laying down looking at the ceiling, she went to the cabinet and got a couple of unusual objects. "How are you doing, Alexis?" "I am fine, thank you." "I am going to ask you a few questions, and do a couple of tests on you. Just relax, they are very simple." Doctor smiled and said. "Alexis, since when have you started dressing as a girl?" "Since I was five years old." I said. "Were you forced by your parents to dress in the girl?s clothes, or did you want to." She adjusted her glasses and asked. "Because of some family issues, I was forced to dress as a girl. But after a month, I liked it more than I thought I would. And now, I really think of myself as a girl. There is no way I can give up my silk panties for the boy shorts." I said. The doctor looked at my panties and said, "Wow, these are really nice panties. Where did you get them?" "My mother made them for me, she designs clothes for my auntie?s boutique." "Nice, you are a lucky girl. Honey, would you mind turning your body sideways, and let me do a couple of tests on you." Doctor Jennings put the gloves on her beautiful manicure hands, and she said, "Alexis, have you been milked before." I was a little embarrassed, but I nodded. She opened up a couple of small packages, and she got really close to me. She spoke right next to my ear." Honey, I want you to close your eyes and relax." She put an extra small condom on my erected penis, and she applied a good portion of lubricant on my virgin sissyhole. Without a warning, she slowly inserted her middle finger in my ass pussy. I am telling you, it hurt quite a bite, and she noticed that from my facial expression. "Honey, take a couple of deep breathes." She said. While Dr. Jennings expertly stroking my erected penis, she managed to insert another finger into my sissyhole. After a few seconds, the pains seem to go away and followed by an indescribable sensation. She slowly moving her fingers in and out of my virgin pussy, and god, I was in heaven. I thought last night was good, but this is even better. The whole time I was in ecstasy, I thought about Andrew making love to me. Wait, a second, why would I be thinking about Andrew. I don?t care. I was enjoying the moment. The doctor speed up the pace, and a few more strokes later, I shot six spurts of cum into the condom. She removed the condom and put it in a small container. She labeled the container and put it in a refrigerator. Then she wiped my ass, and my pricket. Give me a little peck on the cheek and said. "Alexis, you did very well. We are all done now, why don?t you put you clothes back on." While I was dressing, she washed her hands, and went back to her desk. She quickly typed something up in the computer and printed it out. She stamped the document, and she wrote another note, put them together in an envelope, seal it and gave it to me. "Alexis, please give this to you mother. It?s your body check up record. You are all set to go." I walked out of Dr. Jennings office a little tired. What really bothered me was, why was I thinking about Andrew earlier? Ms Linder was waiting for us outside of the school parking lot. We said goodbye to our friends and we went into the backseat. "How are my beautiful princesses doing in school today?" Ms Linder said. "Fine." We both said at the same time. "Alexis has her body check up today." Jackie said. "How did it go, honey? Is everything ok?" Ms Linder asked. I looked outside of the window and said, "Dr Jennings said everything is fine, she has a note to give to my mother." Jackie is such a chatterbox, while she was chatting with Ms Linder the whole time; I was still bothered by the illusion of Andrew making love to me. I kept asking myself, am I falling in love with Andrew? What if he only thinks of me as his sister? I will be so embarrass, I can never see him again. After twenty minutes of driving, we stopped in front of Andrew?s school. He got into the front seat and said, "Hi everyone." I was a little scare to look at Andrew, and my face was red. I opened the window and let the Pacific Ocean breeze clear my mind. To be continued???????..