A Helpful Change
By Peachy
Part 1 Chapter 1
I knocked on the door of old Mrs. Storey's house and waited, feeling
anxious. I would have liked to have had a different placement but I
hadn't really had much choice. Our school had a work experience program
and it had been just my bad luck to turn up to the hall late, so I had
gotten stuck with being a home help for this seventy year old lady
whose house I was now waiting outside. I'd already picked out my future
career as doing caring work, so my placement had to be something in
that area, but I wanted to work with kids not old ladies! I didn't mind
the prospect of it too much, but I'd felt embarrassed because I knew
that everyone thought this kind of work was for girls, not a guy like
me. I'd had a lot of people at school snickering at me for taking this
on, and I was often called a pansy as it was as I didn't like sports
and stuff and was quite skinny. I hated school and couldn't wait to
leave, although I enjoyed my studies.
I had reluctantly committed myself to two months with Mrs. Storey,
three sessions a week, two after school in the week (Tuesdays and
Thursdays) and the whole Sunday. The whole Sunday! It was too much. The
only good point so far had been meeting Natalie, the lady who worked
for the caring agency that had set this up for me, it sent school kids
out to help old people. I say lady, but she was only twenty and really
cool. We had hit it off immediately, not in that way but we got on
really well. Id always seemed to get on better with girls, she had
seemed like the older sister I never had.
Id' met with Natalie a few times both at school and at her offices in
town, and she had eased my worries a little bit by giving me as much
info as possible about Mrs. Storey. She had been totally honest with me
about her, which was one of the reasons why I liked Natalie so much.
She was very straightforward and seemed to have a naughty sense of
humour. She said that Mrs. Storey could be quite quick to anger so it
was best to contradict her as little as possible. Also she was a little
short sighted, which was partly why she needed home-help. But apart
from that, as long as I was nice to her Natalie assured me that she
would be lovely.
I waited for the door to open, straightening the tie of my school
uniform and tucking my almost shoulder length brown hair back behind my
ears. Mrs. Storey probably wouldn't approve of boys having long hair, I
thought. Finally the door began to open slowly. A little old woman,
slightly bent over screwed up her eyes and peered at me.
'Yes?' she said. 'What do you want?'
'Hi, erm, Mrs. Storey?' I asked nervously. Mrs. Storey nodded, but
didn't say anything. 'I'm Sam, from the school for home help? Natalie
said she spoke to you?'
Mrs. Storey's face brightened quickly. 'Oh yes, yes!' she smiled.
'Natalie, she was a lovely girl on the phone, yes! So you're Sam, is
it, that's what you like to be called?' I nodded. 'Come in, come in!'
I stepped in and she closed the door. She stood there peering at me
quite closely, screwing up her eyes. 'That's a lovely smart school
uniform isn't it? Good to see a tie for a change! Very nice!' she said.
I nodded. 'Most children look very scruffy nowadays, but you've made
the effort there haven't you! Not sure about the trousers though,' she
mumbled, turning away and shuffling toward the kitchen.
I looked down at my trousers, confused. My long hair was ok with her
but they weren't? What was wrong with them? They were perfectly normal
grey school trousers, clean on today. Maybe the old girl was a bit
senile, I thought. I took pride in my appearance and for some reason, I
quite liked wearing a smart school uniform. Nobody else seemed to
though, and I got often called weirdo and snob for it.
Mrs. Storey fussed around in the kitchen for a while showing me where
things were and what she wanted me to do, a bit of light cooking,
cleaning and basically helping her out, nothing too bad it seemed. I
was quite happy to do the work as id always been quite able at domestic
chores, it was second nature as I helped out all the time at home. This
was another thing I often got a bit of flack from my mates about as
everyone thought such things were 'feminine' but I didn't care, I felt
comfortable and confident in the kitchen. Mrs. Storey then said she was
off to watch her TV programs, saying (rather bluntly I thought) that
she didn't want to be disturbed. She invited me to have a look around
the house and familiarise myself with the place. It was really a nice
old house, very neat and tidy with everything in its place, which I
liked. There were many photos of her family everywhere, a sweet looking
and quite beautiful blonde lady was a common one. She looked to be in
her mid thirties and I guessed that she was Mrs. Storey's daughter. The
other pictures were mainly of a handsome, confident looking man who
looked to be in his early twenties.
I finished looking around and returned downstairs. Mrs. Storey
announced that she was going to have a bath now, she would call if she
needed help and could I make a cheese sandwich for her for when she got
out. I told her it was no problem and she slowly went off upstairs.
I took my bottle green school blazer and jumper off and got to work,
having a look around and familiarising myself with Mrs. Storey's
kitchen for the things I needed to make her sandwich. Again everything
was very neat and tidy, and I felt quite comfortable. After about forty
five minutes I hadn't heard anything from Mrs. Storey so I thought id
better go up and check that she was ok. I headed upstairs.
Sam? Is that you dear?' Mrs. Storey's voice came through the bathroom
door. She sounded worried.
'Yeah, its me Mrs. Storey,' I shouted, moving closer to the door. 'Is
everything all right?'
'Oh...yes its fine, I'm ok,' she said, but she didn't sound very happy.
'Are you sure Mrs. Storey? Is there anything I can do to help?'
'Well...' She said slowly. 'It's nothing, but I'm having a bit of
trouble getting out of the bath. Should be ok.'
I paused, not sure what to do. Should I ask to go in and help her?
Wouldn't she be embarrassed? Id have to see her naked, and that would
be embarrassing for me too. I heard her trying to move and then a thump
and a slight moan of pain. This seemed to be getting serious.
'Do you want me to come in and help you Mrs. Storey?' I asked,
swallowing nervously. 'I don't mind.' There was silence for a moment
and I was worried.
' I suppose you'll have to dear' she said reluctantly. 'Go on then,
come in, quickly. Lets get this over with.' I pushed the door and saw
Mrs. Storey sitting naked there in the bath. She looked embarrassed and
a bit angry, but I felt it was important to keep my cool. 'Come on
then' she said. I unbuttoned my cuff and rolled up my shirt as I didn't
want to get it too wet. I walked over, being careful not to look. I put
my arm around her shoulders and she put hers round mine and we lifted.
She rose up slowly and I passed her the bath towel. She wrapped herself
in the towel and I turned away quickly to give her some privacy. 'Thank
you ever so much dear', Mrs. Storey said, in a nicer mood now. 'You're
very kind. I'm so glad that the agency sent a girl as my home help or
that would have been so terribly embarrassing. You made it easy, and I
wont forget it.' she ushered me out and closed the bathroom door to get
dressed.
I was frozen, staring at the wall. I knew I hadn't heard her wrong. She
thought I was a girl! I could feel my face getting redder and redder,
and I was glad she couldn't see it. How and why did she think I was a
girl? I knew I didn't look very macho or tough but nobody had ever
thought I was a girl before, had they? It must just be because she was
short sighted...my mind was racing. Knock on that door and tell her
you're a boy, now! My mind yelled at me. But I couldn't, not after what
had just happened. She'd be so embarrassed, and probably really mad at
me. Id already left it too late to tell her. Not knowing what to do I
walked downstairs slowly, shocked.
I paused in front of the mirror to take a good look at myself. My wavy
brown hair was parted in the middle and tucked neatly behind my ears,
where it stopped just above my shirt collar. That's why she hadn't said
anything about a boy having long hair, I realised. I had a round face
which I had always felt was quite plain, but id been told a few times
that my brown eyes were my best feature. They were quite large and
round, accentuated by my brown hair and eyebrows, which were barely
visible for some reason. My lips were a bit pouty actually. Did I look
like a girl? I forced the question out in my mind. Not really, I
answered. Well, maybe a tiny bit.
I moved away from the mirror to look at my body. I was very slim and a
little small for my age. I moved around and noticed that my hair fell
from behind my ears to obscure my face from the side. I supposed that
from the side or back I could possibly be mistaken for a girl, but not
if you got up close, surely?
I pulled myself away from the mirror and looked around. What should I
do? I wanted to leave right away and never come back, but I couldn't
bring myself to just run out the door there and then. Mrs. Storey may
phone and ask Natalie or the school about that girl she had had in her
house, and it could lead to all sorts of embarrassing questions. I
decided that I would finish up today as best I could, and then think
about how to get out of the whole thing after I left. But, I realised,
I had to do a work experience placement like this to get the experience
to go into Caring work in the future....
Then I remembered that Mrs. Storey wanted a sandwich, so I went and
finished preparing it. As I was doing so the reason why she had
objected to my trousers came to me. She probably thought that girls
shouldn't wear trousers to school, I realised, and sighed. Did my voice
sound girlish as well? I pondered this to myself along with other
questions. I didn't feel very happy.
I finished the sandwich and cleaned up, just as Mrs. Storey came down
the stairs. My heart was racing and my face reddening as I thought of
how to behave. I didn't have to tell her that I was a boy, I thought,
there was no need to embarrass me and her. I just had to wait to get
out of here and never come back. The thought of pretending to be a girl
for any length of time though was not at all a welcome one.
'Thanks again for your help dear, you've been very kind.' Mrs. Storey
said. I smiled and blushed, lowering my head. I didn't feel like
talking. 'No need to be embarrassed at all about anything, I'm not!'
Mrs. Storey said. 'Ooh, you've made me that sandwich, lovely! You can
make yourself something too you know, and then you can come and sit
down and tell me all about yourself Samantha.' she went and sat on her
couch and switched the TV on again.
She was calling me Samantha! This was beginning to feel like torture. I
had to get out of there as soon as possible. I made myself a glass of
orange juice and followed her. (I had lost my appetite). I sat down on
the chair opposite her and sipped my juice.
'You don't want anything to eat dear?' She asked. I shook my head, but
then realised that I had better say something as I hadn't for a while.
'Oh I'm not hungry thanks, I don't eat all that much.' I tried to
lighten my voice a little and hated doing it.
Ill bet, you've got a lovely slim figure!' she said with a smile,
tucking into her sandwich. I tried to smile too but I felt very
uncomfortable. 'I looked like that when I was young too you know! The
boys were all after me, ill tell you. Any special men in your life?'
I couldn't believe it. Could this get any worse? 'No, not at the
moment,' I said blushing again.
'Well, I am surprised.' Mrs. Storey said. 'A pretty little thing like
you? You'd probably do better if you wore a skirt to school you know,
the boys would like that. I do think girls should wear a skirt at
school and not dress just like the boys, but I'm just old fashioned I
suppose.' she took a sip of her juice.
I supped my juice too, not wanting to think about what I had just
heard. It felt just too weird being described as pretty, and as for
being told to wear a skirt so the boys would like me! I was so out of
here. I finished my juice and stood up.
Erm, sorry, but I think I have to go now,' I said. 'I've got a lot
homework to do.'
'Oh!' Mrs. Storey said. She looked genuinely upset. 'We were just
getting to know each other!'
I was surprised to notice that I felt a little guilty, and sad. Despite
my excruciating embarrassment I realised that she had been being very
nice to me, the girl-me at least! Well you'll see me again.' I blurted
out. What! Why did I say that! Idiot idiot idiot I cursed myself.
'Oh well of course, that's alright then,' she said, her face
brightening. 'It was two times in the week and on Sunday wasn't it?
You're very kind to give up your time for me. Ill see you on, Thursday
wasn't it?'
'Yeah, Thursday, after school,' I said. Anything to get out of here, I
told myself
'Ooh, before you go...' Mrs . Storey said. She reached over on the
couch to her handbag and brought out her purse, from which she bought
out a ?10 note and offered it to me.
'Oh, no thank-you Mrs. Storey , I cant accept that, we're not supposed
to take money.' I said, backing away. Mrs. Storey stood up and held the
money out to me firmly. 'No, thanks all the same but I cant take it,
its ok really.'
'I don't like being treated like a charity.' Mrs. Storey said. She
sounded a little bit angry and I felt uncomfortable. 'You've worked
hard and been very good to me so you deserve payment. Take it, and if
your school or whoever want to complain then they can come to me.' I
looked at her and she held my gaze.
'Ok,' I said slowly. 'Thanks ever so much.' Her face fell into a smile
again and she waved me toward the door.
'Go on then, ill see you on Thursday,' she said. 'Don't work too hard,
remember, all work and no play makes Samantha a dull girl!'
I said good bye and she shut the door. I walked to the bus stop to
catch the bus home, my head in a complete whirl. What would I do?
Chapter 2
At school the next day all I could think about was getting hold of
Natalie and asking her advice, so at Lunchtime I left the school
grounds and took the short trip into town to speak to her at her
office. After waiting in the reception area for a bit Natalie came out
of her office.
Hey Sammy!' she said beaming. She was wearing a red skirt and jacket
suit combination, and her long brown hair was tied back in a ponytail.
'How's things? How was Mrs. Storey? Come in, sit down.'
I went into her office and she shut the door. She sat behind her desk
and I sat in front. 'Well?' Natalie said, crossing her legs and leaning
back in her chair. 'How is the old girl?'
She's, umm, ok I suppose.' I said, looking around nervously. I didn't
know how to say it, it was very embarrassing.
'But?' Natalie said, leaning forward. 'She smells? she's nasty? she
cooks and eats kids, what?'
I laughed and relaxed a bit. 'How about mistaking me for a girl?' I
said, looking sheepish.
'What!' Natalie cried out. 'No way! You're joking!' she burst out
laughing, she thought it was hilarious it seemed. Her laughter was
infectious, I couldn't help smiling a little bit too through my
blushes.
'Well, she is a bit short sighted I suppose.. come to think of it I
don't think I ever mentioned that you were a boy over the phone. Sorry
about that!' she started laughing again. 'What did she say when you
told you the truth, tootsie?'
Tootsie? I thought. 'Umm, I didn't actually tell her, that I umm,
wasn't a girl?' Now I really did feel stupid.
Natalie's eyes widened even more as she glared at me and dropped her
jaw in comedy fashion. 'You mean you actually let her think you were a
girl? Why?'
'Well, it seemed a lot easier to just let her think it, cos I'm not
going to go back there again.'
Natalie frowned a little at this. 'Are you sure? Why cant you just tell
her you're a boy?'
'Well, its not as easy as that. I had to help her get up out of the
bath, so obviously I saw her naked, and then she said that she was glad
that your agency had sent a girl otherwise she would have been really
embarrassed. And you told me not to argue with her!'
Natalie clapped her hand to her forehead and leaned back in her chair,
shaking her head and smiling. 'Oh, my poor little Sammy. What are we
going to do with you? I didn't mean that you shouldn't question her on
something like that!'
I felt really quite stupid and embarrassed now and a little angry at
Natalie for taking the mickey out of me.
'Well, I don't care anyway cos I just came to tell you that im not
going back and you've got to get me something else!' I said, annoyed at
the whole silly situation.
Natalie saw that I was upset and embarrassed and stood up and came over
to me. She put her arm round my shoulders and pulled me close.
'Hey, come on.' she said. 'Sorry for taking the mick.' she pulled her
chair round to sit in front of me. 'Lets talk about this, huh?. I'm
afraid I don't have any other placements at all, and I know you needed
to do this for experience to study for your social work diploma. Is
there any way you could just go and tell her that you're a boy?'
'Maybe...' I said. I didn't relish the thought though. 'I did sorta
want to continue doing it...she was a nice old lady, and she even gave
me some money.'
'She gave you money?' Natalie said, frowning a little. 'You're not
really supposed to accept that.'
'I know, but she insisted. She got a bit angry when I refused.'
'Poor old you eh?' Natalie said. She leaned forward and touched my
shoulder. 'Cant say no can you?' She was right, I had always hated
confrontation. 'Well, I wont tell anyone about the money if you wont.
If you go back you may get more you know!'
'Yeah..' I said. 'Maybe ill give it to Charity or something.'
'There you go then!' Natalie said. 'Works out good for everyone. Ok,
why don't we say that you give it one more go, and tell her you're a
boy? If you tell her why you didn't tell her before I'm sure she'll
understand? Go on, one more time for me eh? And yourself? I know you're
good at this kind of thing, and these people could do with the help and
companionship, There's no one to replace you you know, No kids want to
do this kind of thing. You're one in a million!'
I couldn't really refuse after she put it like that. Natalie was great.
'Ok then sure, one more time.' I said. 'Ill tell her I'm a boy.'
'Yay!' Natalie cried, jumping to her feet. 'You're a good un. Want a
drink or something? Can of Coke? I've got a bit of time before my next
appointment?'
'Yeah, thanks.' I said. She went outside for a minute and got me a can
from the machine. She came back in and closed the door.
'It is funny that she thought you were a girl though!' she sat down and
passed me the coke.
'I don't think so,' I said.
'Why not?' Natalie said. 'What's the big deal? So what if you get
mistaken for a girl, what's wrong with girls? You've been mistaken for
one before right?'
'No!!' I said. I laughed but I was a bit put out. 'What are you on
about?'
'Well, you do look a bit girlish, what with that hair and those big
cute eyes of yours! So what?' She shrugged her shoulders.
'Natalie!' I admonished, blushing, but I couldn't think of any words. I
wanted to be angrier, but hearing this from Natalie I didn't really
mind and couldn't be offended. She had such a honest and
straightforward way of putting things.
'In fact,' she said, leaning forward and smiling wickedly, 'What would
it matter if Mrs. Storey went on thinking that you were a girl? Where's
the harm in that? Sounds like a good bit of fun to me!'
'I'm not going to pretend I'm a girl!' I said, shocked. 'Why would I
want to do that? That's crazy!'
Natalie held up her hands and laughed. 'Just a thought! Thought it
would be a laugh. Id love to be let loose on doing you up, clothes hair
and make-up, the lot. You could be cute little Samantha!
'Actually,' I said, 'Mrs. Storey did call me Samantha.'
'Oh my god!' Natalie said, and laughed yet again. I loved it that she
was always laughing.
'Yeah,' I went on, 'and she suggested that I wear a skirt to school and
not trousers!' I felt a lot better about the whole thing now, Natalie
was right, it didn't really matter all that much. I'd tell Mrs. Storey
the truth tomorrow and that would be that.
'Oh wow Samantha, that's funny, really.' Natalie said.
'Don't call me that!' I said to her, laughing.
'Ok, ok!' Natalie laughed. 'I'm afraid I've gotta kick you out now,
gotta get ready for another appointment. Give me a call on Friday or
pop into the office to let me know how it went. Whatever happens, you
don't have to do it for long. Its only Tuesdays and Thursday
afternoons, and all day Sundays for two months isn't it?' I nodded.
'And then after that you're done, you don't have to go back and you've
got some good experience there haven't you?' She said with a flourish.
'I suppose so.' I said, brightening.
'No suppose about it Sammy! And I'm only a phone call away to help you
out.' She stood up and opened the door. 'Now go on, shoo! I've got
other things to do you know!'
'Thanks a lot!' I said. 'I'll speak to you tomorrow.'
'Look forward to it Samantha!' She patted me on the bottom and closed
the door. I whirled round and she stuck her tongue out and me and
slammed the door. I laughed and headed out toward home.
Chapter 3
I got home about half an hour later to find my Aunt Marie cooking us
dinner, and I went into the kitchen to give her a hand. It was just me
and my aunt in the house, my mum and dad had been killed in an accident
when I had been just 1 and a half years old. All I had to remember them
by were photographs.
Me and my aunt Marie had always gotten on very well but I don't know if
you could call us particularly close. She was my mothers sister and I
always felt that she slightly resented being thrown into this position
of having to look after me at this early age, but she never came right
out and said so. She had always been good to me though, and raised me
to be independent and to be able to look after myself. It seemed that I
had always been surrounded by women, the only other family members who
we saw occasionally were female cousins of Marie's. My dad's family
lived in Australia but I got birthday and Christmas cards from them. My
aunt didn't have to work because she had inherited a great amount of
money from my parents death, but she seemed to live a fairly lonely and
quiet life, apart from various close female friend's of hers that came
and went over the years. She hardly ever seemed to have more than one
friend at a time, at the latest one was called Susan who had been a
regular visitor to our house over the past year.
Because of this I had suspected for quite a while that Aunt Marie was
gay, but she was certainly not about to raise the subject and so I
never knew whether to or not. I don't know why she seemed to have a
problem with it, I certainly didn't. I didn't want to pressure her
though.
I felt very comfortable being around women and domesticity, and felt
quite the opposite being around almost all boy's of my age. I only
really had one good friend at school, called Michael who was quite
'macho' but for some reason we still got on, I wasn't sure why he liked
me but I was glad he did. He was doing his work experience at a Garage
working on cars. It was only Michael really who stopped me from being
completely excluded and bullied by the main group of boy's in our year.
I got quite a lot of comments for being a 'sissy' but I didn't really
mind too much. I was quite happy with my lot.
After helping Marie prepare the dinner we sat down to eat fairly
quietly. She was polite and enquiring about my day but never intrusive.
After dinner I washed and cleaned up whilst Marie relaxed, and I headed
upstairs to do my homework.
I sat down at my desk to my work, still wearing my school uniform. I
wasn't sure why but in a funny sort of way I liked wearing my school
uniform and took rather a good deal of pride in it. Maybe it was
because I liked my school, which was one of the best in the county, and
I liked learning, I got almost the best grades in nearly all of my
classes. Maybe I just liked looking smart, I don't know. Our uniform
was bottle green and red, consisting of a white shirt with green, red
and black striped tie, green jumper and blazer with red piping, and
grey trousers. Whereas most of the boys wore their ties very scruffily,
I hated to wear it like that and it was always buttoned up to the
collar, like the way most of the girls wore it. The uniform rules were
quite strict, especially for the girls who had to wear a green pleated
skirt, white ankle socks and plain black low heels. Under no
circumstances were they allowed to wear trousers, even if it was very
cold, but they were allowed to wear tights, black ones only.
I usually wore my school uniform all throughout the week, and felt
quite comfortable in it. At the moment I was wearing my trousers, shirt
and tie at my desk as it was too hot for the jumper. This saved washing
of my other clothes (which I did myself anyway, I did all my own
washing and had done for years) and felt more fitting to do my homework
in.
After I had finished my homework for the night I got ready for bed and
lay back to read before I went to sleep, but I couldn't really
concentrate too much as I was thinking about things that Natalie had
said and what I would tell Mrs. Storey tomorrow. Despite the taunts I
had received over the years about being a 'sissy,' I had never really
paid much attention to them. But now that I had actually been mistaken
for a girl by one adult and told by another that I looked 'girlish,' I
felt a bit disturbed. I wasn't a girl and I didn't want to look like
one. I started to feel angry and embarrassed all over again. Maybe I
should start acting more like a boy? But I wasn't really sure how to do
that, should I cut my hair? But I liked my hair as it was, I had always
had longish hair and Marie said it suited me, she said it was like my
mothers and so I didn't want to get rid of that part of me that was
like her. But it couldn't go on being thought of as a girl, it was
ridiculous. I turned over to sleep, vowing to myself that I would
definitely tell Mrs. Storey tomorrow. But how?
About half an hour after school ended that Thursday I arrived at Mrs.
Storey's house. (it was quite a way away from where I lived and went to
school). I rang the doorbell and took a deep breath. I would tell her
straight away, I decided, but I still hadn't thought of a good way to
say it. It was a while before the door opened and when I did I was
surprised to see that that Mrs. Storey was crying.
'Oh Samantha dear, I'm so happy that you're here. I'm sorry for the
state that I'm in but I've just had some terrible news. I've just heard
that my sister Betty had passed on. It's a terrible shock. I knew she
was unwell but I didn't know it was that bad...' she started crying
some more.
I felt terribly sorry for her and immediately forgot all about my own
problems. 'Here, come and sit down.' I said. 'I'm very sorry to hear
that. Can I get you anything, a cup of tea?'
'That would be lovely.' Mrs. Storey said. 'You're a good girl.' I tried
to ignore what she said. This wasn't the time for my own little
problems. I made her the tea and came back and sat down next to her.
She took it gratefully.
'I'm so glad you're here,' she said. 'I don't know what I would have
done without you, its very good of you to come. I'm all on my own here.
My daughter's caught up with her work at the moment and cant come down.
Maybe my grandson will come down soon, I don't know.' She looked very
sad and my heart went out to her.
'It's ok, I'm here.' I said warmly. I put my arm around her shoulders.
I figured that she was too upset to look closely at my face and see
that I was a boy. I felt quite close to her all of a sudden. I had
never known any of my own grandparents.
You're terribly kind,' she said. 'I never had a granddaughter, but If I
had I would have wanted her to be just like you. I knew you were a good
sort as soon as i lay my eyes on you.'
Tears immediately sprang to my eyes, and I wasn't certain exactly why.
It was if she had read my mind. That was one of the nicest things that
anybody had ever said to me and I felt very pleased that I could be
here to help, but in a little way it pained me that she thought I was a
girl. I felt that there was no way back now, I couldn't tell her after
we had shared a moment like this together.
'Ill make you something to eat,' I said rising. I needed to have a
think.
'Thank you dear, just a sandwich would be lovely,' Mrs. Storey said. 'I
haven't had the strength myself all day.'
I got into the kitchen, leaned against the worktop and sighed. What
now? There was absolutely no way I could tell her the truth about me
now, or in the future. It would be hideously embarrassing for her, as
well as painful and confusing after what had just happened. Maybe
Natalie was right. I only had to be here for two months, and that was
it. After that id be gone, id visit occasionally if I had to. Nobody
except Natalie would need to know, as the school dealt with the
placement through her. I didn't really have to act any more
'girlishly,' I thought sadly, as everybody said I already did anyway. I
basically didn't have to do hardly anything more, I figured. My school
uniform meant I didn't have to wear any girlish clothes, and I could
try to wear unisex stuff on Sundays. That was it. I looked at myself in
the reflection of the kitchen window and resigned myself to being
'Samantha' while I was in this house. I felt I had been forced into
this decision, I didn't feel like I had any choice really. This felt
very much like the right thing to do. Without consciously thinking my
hands rose to my hair, which had been tucked neatly behind my ears. I
fluffed it up a little and let it fall around my face.
I finished making Mrs. Storey's sandwich and took it out to her. For
the rest of my visit there I listened to her talk about her sister
Betty, and when she had finished she gave me a big hug which I
returned. Again she forced ?10 on me and I tried even harder to
decline, but she tried even harder to force me to take it. I thanked
her and promised id be there early on Sunday, and I left to get the bus
home.
Chapter 4
That next Friday afternoon I went to Natalie's office's in town,
feeling quite nervous and excited about what she would say when I would
tell her about my decision. Id explain to her how I hadn't really had
much choice, but I knew she'd just laugh and think the whole thing was
a big joke.
I sat nervously outside and waited for her to call me in. Her office
door opened and she waved away another client of hers, a boy a bit
older than me.
'Sammy!' she said. 'Come in, come in, I've been itching to hear all
about it.'
'Hiya.' I said, walking into the office and sitting down.
Natalie jumped up onto her desk in front of me and peered down at me.
'Well?' she said swinging her legs in front of her and back. 'What
happened? What did she say when you said you were a boy?'
I gulped and looked down at my feet. 'Oh my god!' Natalie cried out,
her open mouth extending into a giant grin. 'You didn't tell her did
you! I cant believe it, she still thinks you're a girl?' I nodded
wearily. 'Why?' she asked.
'I just couldn't tell her.' I groaned. 'Her sister had just died and
she was really upset, and she was really kind to me and glad that I was
there. She even said I was like the granddaughter she'd never had.'
'Ohhh man.' Natalie said, she hopped off the desk and walked around the
office. 'Tough break Sammy, really. I feel for you.' She stood behind
me and put her hand on my shoulder, which made me feel better. 'Real
shame.' she said. 'So you wont be going back then?'
'Umm, I dunno..' I said. I couldn't put into words the plan for my
future time with Mrs. Storey.
'You mean you still want to go there, even though she thinks you're a
girl?' Natalie whirled round to face me, her eyes bright.
'Umm, yeah?' I said blushing, looking into her face for understanding.
'Like you said, its only two months and I need the experience. I don't
really have to do anything do I, just answer to 'Samantha.' I smiled
sadly. 'And she's a really nice old lady, I never had a grandma either,
and she's all sad at the moment because of her sister, and she's
lonely...'
'And she gives you money.' Natalie said, clocking me on the shoulder.
I smiled, I knew she wasn't totally serious. 'Yeah, but that's not
why.' I said.
Natalie nodded. She drew back and stretched. 'Wow.' she said. 'I cant
believe it! if that's what you want to do! I'm actually really proud of
you, you're really brave, I couldn't see anyone else doing this. Really
mature.'
I felt a little happier about it now. Natalie went and sat back behind
her desk. 'So you're sure you want to do this?' she said.
'Yeah,' I said. 'There's not much different I need to do is there?'
'Hmm,' Natalie said. 'Cos Mrs. Storey's short sighted I suppose not.
Shame, id just love to give you a makeover! Cant I?'
'No way.' I said firmly, although I was smiling a little.
'Oh come on!' Natalie said. 'If you're going to be a girl you might as
well do it right! I reckon you could look really cute you know,
seriously.'
'Aww, shut up,' I said, waving my hand and blushing.
'No I'm serious!' Natalie said. 'Like I said before, there's something
in you isn't there? You cant deny it can you, after all for three days
a week you are going to be a girl after all!?'
'I day and two afternoons!' I corrected her quickly. She seemed to have
a point though.
Natalie waved her hand dismissively. 'Pah. I'm just thinking...Wouldn't
it be better if you got into the role and everything, you wouldn't want
her finding out would you?'
'I don't really see how she would,' I said.
'But if she did find out...' Natalie said slowly, 'there would be a
terrible fuss and bother.' She frowned and stopped, thinking to
herself. She suddenly looked quite serious. Natalie's moods seemed to
change quite quickly, she was an impulsive and exciting character. 'If
she did find out Id get into real trouble, my arse would be totally on
the line wouldn't it? How would I explain it?'
She turned to me and frowned. I started to feel worried, she had a very
good point there. It could be very troublesome and embarrassing for
everybody if I was found out. The last thing I wanted to do was to get
Natalie into trouble.
'So, If were going to do this I really think were going to have to do
it properly...' She said. She leaned forward and put her face in her
hands, staring at me with the trace of a smile.
My stomach sunk as I realised she was correct. We couldn't risk anybody
finding out.
'I mean, you're pretty much ok,' she said, 'As you don't really act
very boyish, if you don't mind me saying.'
'Yeah, I know,' I said miserably.
'And without make up and clothes you could still be mistaken for a
girl, by short sighted people like Mrs. Storey. But what if she gets a
decent pair of glasses? She's likely to sooner or later isn't she?'
I shrugged my shoulders and nodded, feeling queasy. I wished she would
stop. What had I got myself in to?
'In for a penny, in for a pound, that's what my Nan used to say.'
Natalie said, and then we were both quiet for a moment. 'Oh! Just
realised!' she said suddenly. 'What if anybody else came round the
house while you were there and said you were a boy in front of Mrs.
Storey?'
'Ok, ok! I get it!' I said. I was stuck in this thing now. I wished
that I'd given it more thought.
'You still wanna do it?' Natalie asked. 'If you do you've gotta do it
right I'm afraid.'
'I don't feel I have much choice, I promised her id be back on Sunday.'
I sighed. 'I hadn't really thought about everything though.' I paused.
'Yeah, ill do it.' That was it.
'Yay!' Natalie said. 'This is gonna be a lot of fun! There's no way
anyone will find out, It'll be fine! All you have to do is turn up and
act like you, but put just a little bit more 'girl' into it.'
'But how am I gonna do all my clothes and makeup and stuff...' I
trailed off as I realised this was a silly question, as Natalie was
looking down at me with eyebrows raised and hands on hips. She couldn't
wait to get hold of me. I groaned and she clapped her hands together in
delight.
'I'd be delighted to help you out there Samantha! I can pick you up
after school on Tuesdays and Thursdays to sort you out, and you can
come round to me on Sundays before you go. Id been meaning to tell you
actually, I should be transporting you there after school anyway, as
its far away and costs you so much in bus fares. I drive a lot of my
other kiddies around.'
It was all fitting into place too perfectly, my sinking feeling had
reached its bottom.
'Hang on a minute!' I suddenly realised. 'My school uniform with
trousers will do after schooldays wont it?' I said desperately. 'I
don't need a skirt!'
'Friad you do Sammy, I know your silly school policy, girls have to be
in skirts!' she smiled sympathetically.
'But ill be alright!' I said. 'What if I...'
'No Sammy,' Natalie interrupted me. 'I said you've got to do this
properly.' she said firmly. 'Even though you pretty much act the part
already the clothes and make-up will top it off and make you feel even
more into it. We cant take any chances.' I realised she was right. 'And
anyway it'll be so much fun!' She came over to me and squeezed my
shoulders. 'I cant wait to make you pretty!'
I groaned wearily. All the energy to resist had gone out of me. Id done
it all to myself though, I realised. Natalie was just trying to help
me.
'The only downside I can think of is that I have to be up early on
Sunday morning to get you ready,' Natalie said groaning. 'And we'll
have to get you a new wardrobe, which will cost a bit.' She tapped her
fingers on her chin, thinking. 'Hey! Have you spent that money yet that
Mrs. Storey gave you?' I nodded my head no. 'Well then hand it over
girl!' Natalie said. 'Seems only fitting that we put that money towards
clothes and gear for Samantha doesn't it?'
'I was going to give it to charity...' I mumbled.
'Yeah, you are, the charity of Natalie! It's gonna cost me a bit to kit
you out! Clothes aren't cheap you know!'
She was right, again. She had been good to help and good not to ask me
for any money.
'We've gotta get you a school skirt, and a gorgeous dress I saw in
Topshop the other day...and there's that lovely Sophie range for teen
girls... Ill go into town tomorrow and get you something to wear on
Sunday! What would you like?'
My eyes widened in horror. I wouldn't like anything!
'Ok, ok, I know things are moving a bit quickly.' she said. 'Leave it
up to me, ill get you something for Sunday. Ill let you go now, I've
got other stuff to do.'
I was glad to go, I just wanted to go home and lie down and try to cope
with all this. I stood up to leave, but Natalie wasn't done yet.
'Ooh, I need to have a look at you for measurements.' she said. She
looked me up and down and span me around. 'You've got a lovely little
figure you know. Tiny waist and a cute little bum.'
'Can I just go now?' I groaned.
'Yeah, yeah, ok!' Natalie said. 'You've got to get into this and take
it seriously though, you know?' She put both hands on my shoulders and
stared at me intently, but I looked away. 'Look at me Sammy.' she said
firmly. 'You've got to put the effort in, ok? I understand the position
you're in and why, you're a good kid and I think you're doing the right
thing. This is your decision, I'm not forcing you, I'm trying to help
for both of our sakes. You're sure you want to do this? Speak now or
forever hold your peace.'
Yeah,' I said, sighing. 'But its all a bit much at the moment, I just
need to go home and relax for a bit.'
Natalie softened and smiled. 'Ok, I understand. don't worry, everything
will be fine. Ill come get you at Eight thirty on Sunday morning and
bring you to my place. My flatmates away at the moment so we'll have
privacy, and plenty of time. You don't have to do anything just yet,
Ill sort you out. And be a bit more positive about it eh?' She pulled
me close and hugged me. We pulled away and she ruffled my hair. 'Go on,
get!' she said. I left the office, not knowing what to think.
It was late Saturday night and I was lying in bed, unable to sleep. Id
actually avoided thinking about Sunday until a few hours ago, but now I
had started I couldn't stop. I forced myself to face up to and deal
with the fact. Tomorrow I would be dressed up as a girl and would have
to pretend to be one all day, and not just for one day, for two
afternoons a week as well. It hadn't seemed all this much when I had
decided to commit myself to this at Mrs. Storey's the other day. Just
acting as a girl toward somebody who already thought you were wasn't
too bad, but to have to dress and look just like a girl as well was a
frightening prospect, especially if anyone else were to knock on her
door or something. I was scared of going too far and losing myself, as
people already said that I acted girlishly. What if doing this sent me
too far that way? Hopefully Natalie had got me some trousers to wear,
just maybe some girls jeans wouldn't be too bad, and not too much make-
up.
But then I thought about what Natalie had said. 'In for a penny, in for
a pound.' if I was doing this I had to do it properly so that there
could be no risk of anyone finding out. If they did it would be just
awful for everyone. Natalie had been really lovely to me and was being
very helpful, so I shouldn't be giving her a hard time about it by
moaning and being reluctant, it was my decision after all, as she had
said. I always liked to think that I gave my all to things, so why not
this? It was only two months, and I had to admit that I was a bit
curious to see what I would look like. Natalie had said that I could be
pretty... a quiver ran through me and I began to tingle all over. My
heart began to thud quickly in my thin chest. I frowned and rolled
over. I wouldn't think about it any more I decided, I would wait and
see how I felt tomorrow when I was dressed up. I fell into a troubled
sleep.
Chapter 5
I woke up to the sound of my alarm at eight and rubbed my eyes. I
slowly remembered what today was and my heart began to thud. I rolled
out of bed and looked at myself in the mirror, wondering what I would
see looking back at me in a few hours. I began to feel scared and
depressed, but then I remembered Natalie's words. She was right, I was
doing the right thing I realised. And what was so bad about being a
girl? I tried to think of it positively, as a challenge. I pulled on a
t shirt and some shorts, as it was a hot day and it obviously didn't
matter what boys clothes I put on as I would be out of them soon.
I had told my Aunt Marie all about my work experience, leaving out of
course the bit about me being a girl, so there was no worries there. In
fact there were no worries at all, this whole thing was working out too
conveniently, I thought to myself over breakfast, waiting for Natalie
to pick me up. It seemed that nobody would find out, we were all
covered. Any reports on my stint as a home help could easily be altered
slightly through Natalie, as she was very hands on and was the only
person at her company who dealt with kids work experience. As caring
work wasn't very popular with kids she didn't have much to manage, so
she did it all herself. I as bought out of myself by a beeping of a car
horn. I put away my breakfast things and went outside to Natalie. She
was looking very excited and pleased to see me.
'Ooh Sammy!' she trilled. 'Are we gonna have a ball! I've got you a
choice of three outfits, and some great make up, and...'
'Can we leave it until we get to your place please?' I asked, blushing
and clambering into her car quickly. 'Someone might hear.'
'There's nobody around,' Natalie said. 'Relax! Ooh this is gonna be so
great! How you feeling?'
'Ok,' I said. 'A little nervous.'
'It'll be fine, try and have a laugh. See it as a challenge.' she said.
'I had been thinking that actually,' I said, smiling. 'That's the
spirit!' Natalie said. She reached over and ruffled my hair.
We got to Natalie's flat after about five minutes. It was very spacious
but such a mess! There were clothes strewn all over the floor and
beauty products everywhere. Waiting to be used on me, I thought and
gulped.
Well, what do you think?' Natalie asked. 'Want a cup of tea?'
'Yes please,' I said. 'And the place is great...not the tidiest though
is it?'
'I'm a busy girl!' Natalie called from the kitchen.
I laughed. 'And your flatmates away for the weekend yeah, is that why
its untidy?'
'No!' Natalie laughed, 'She's just as untidy as me!' She bought out my
tea, cleared some space, put on some music and we sat on the sofa
together.
'Well,' Natalie began. 'Where do we start eh Sammy?'
I sipped my tea nervously, grasping the mug with both hands. I've been
thinking about different looks for you,' Natalie continued, 'and had
planned you out as a conservative kinda girl, blouse, jumper and skirt,
pretty but posh, what do you think? But its up to you, wanna be a
trendy, modern girl with big earring's and denim? Or we could do you up
as a little sexpot, got you a lovely little red dress, but I dunno if
you're ready for that yet eh?' she nudged me and laughed.
I didn't know what to think, that had put me in all of a whirl. What
kind of girl could I be? I had no idea, and didn't really want to know.
As I didn't say anything, Natalie decided for herself.
'Ok, We'll see you as a blouse and skirt kinda gal, yeah?' I shrugged.
'Right then, First things first,' she said. 'Lets have a look at your
legs, I imagine they need a shave.'
She stood me up and looked down at my legs, frowning. There wasn't much
hair then to begin with, just a little fuzz and barely noticeable, but
Natalie decided it had to come off nonetheless. I groaned as she pulled
me into her bathroom and got out a razor. Natalie sat me down on the
toilet and proceeded to take all of the hair off of my legs. 'A girl
would usually wax for best results, but you're ok cos there's not much
there,' she said. I was fascinated in spite of myself to see the
transformation my legs underwent. When she had finished she squealed in
delight and clapped her hands together.
'Ooh, you've got lovely legs, come and have a look,' she pulled me
toward her bedroom and the full length mirror but then stopped. 'No,'
she said, 'We'll wait until you're completely finished before you see
yourself I think, it'll blow you away! But give them a feel, go on.' it
was weird, they felt very smooth.
'Right, top off' she said. 'Any hair under your arms or on your chest?'
'Do we really have to go that far?' I asked. This was surely too much.
'Yep, you never know.' she said firmly. 'You've got to be the best girl
you can be. You know how much trouble ill be in if you're found out,
and how weird the whole thing will look? To pass fully as a girl you've
got to feel like a girl as well, through and through, because when
you're there I don't just want you to act like a girl, I want you to
feel like a girl, think like a girl and to be a girl, understand? Ok?'
'I don't know...' I said. This was sounding really scary to me. 'I
don't want to lose myself, y'know, I am a boy and everything.'
Of course,' Natalie said. 'But I reckon you should just go with this
thing, its only for, what is it, two afternoons and I day a week for
two months! That's not much. And I think it's a really good experience,
a good opportunity to learn about yourself. Not many other boys have
done it ill bet! And what's wrong with being a girl eh? So what if you
get carried away? Have fun with it! I think you're a natural anyway!'
'Ok, ok go on then.' I conceded, pulling off my shirt. I had precious
little underarm hair and chest hair but Natalie quickly disposed of it.
She even ran the razor across my face, although at my tender age there
was nothing there anyway.
'Ok, you're done!' Natalie said. 'Smooth as a babies behind!' I
laughed, and went to put my shirt on. 'you might as well leave that,'
Natalie said, 'as ill probably have to give you a hand with your bra.'
'Bra!?' I almost shouted. Natalie gave me a look and rolled her eyes.
'What did I just say?' she said, playfully whacking me around the head.
'When are you gonna stop complaining and get used to this?'
'But most girls my age don't have breasts, do they?'
'Some do,' Natalie said. 'Little ones. Even if they don't they often
start wearing a bra at your age. I did, and you're going to as well
Samantha. There's nothing that will make you feel more like a girl than
wearing a bra.'
She was certainly right about that. I couldn't imagine a more girlish
thing to wear. My heart sunk even further as I realised that if she
wanted me to wear a bra, she would probably want me in girls underwear
also.
'I know what you're thinking.' Natalie said with a mischievous smile,
'Yes, you'll be wearing knickers as well! All the way baby!'
'Ok, ok.' I said, resigning myself to the situation. I was going to be
a full on girl, Natalie wouldn't settle for anything less, and she was
right to do so.
'Now your clothes, they're all in my flatmates room.' Natalie said.
'We'll do your make up last.' My heart began to thump and for the first
time I felt really nervous about my impending change.
We went into her flatmates room. Natalie had laid out all my stuff
neatly (for once) on the bed. I gulped as I looked them over. There was
a short sleeved, white open necked silk blouse, a red plaid/tartan
pleated skirt, a pair of silky white knickers and a lacy white,
slightly padded bra. The underwear made me shudder most of all. There
was also a pair of simple long white socks and some low heeled black
shoes.
'Well, whadya think?' Natalie said. 'Plaid skirt and white blouse is a
simple but classic combo, kinda the American schoolgirl look. I got you
these shoes and socks cos you can wear them to school as well as on
Sundays. I think you'll look darling, very smart!'
She picked up the bra. 'Ok, stick your arms out in front of you. This
is pretty easy to do, but as I said this first time I'll sort you out
with everything. What you do when you're on your own is put in on the
wrong way round, fasten it across your tummy, then pull it round to
your back and then straighten the straps.' She pulled the bra on to me.
I could feel the straps tightly on my shoulders and winced slightly as
Natalie fastened it around my back.
'I think it's a little twisted.' I said.
'No problem,' Natalie replied. She ran her fingers around it, front and
back to straighten it out. 'Better?' she asked.
'Yeah, its ok, a bit tight.'
'Its best that way, Its a push up bra to give you a little help. I
didn't have much more than you there when I was your age but I wore one
just like this! With a bit of fiddling we can bring out some little
boobs for you Sammy.'
She walked around to my front, fiddled with the lacy padded cups and
pushed out and up the flesh around my nipples to bring out some small
mounds on my chest. The padding in the bra made sure they stayed up.
'Wow,' she said, smiling as she concentrated. She stepped back and put
her hands on her hips. 'Looking good, if I do say so myself!' she said.
'Try to always stand up straight and stick your shoulders back, good
posture is important.' I did as she said. 'You got a nice little pair
girl! Even without a top on you look fine and normal!'
The bra felt strange, but not altogether unpleasant. I felt quite
secure in the way the pads gripped my chest. It felt very odd to have
this new chest, but I was strangely pleased by Natalie's praise and
glad that she had done a good job. I had quite a strong urge to feel
them but didn't want to while Natalie was standing there.
'Can I have a look?' I asked.
'No, wait till you're done!' Natalie cried. 'It'll be better. I suppose
I'll leave you to do the rest.
'Do I really have to wear the knickers?' I protested. 'No one's going
to see down there are they?' As I said this my stomach flipped over at
the thought of anybody seeing my behind in these.
Natalie sighed and rolled her eyes. 'Do I have to keep repeating
myself?' She said, irritated. 'All the way, baby. What if your skirt
flips up or something huh?'
I nodded wearily. 'Ok, then get a move on,' Natalie said. 'Get dressed
sharpish and then come out for your make-up. And promise not to look
before the end. ok?'
'Ok, ok,' I muttered.
'Good girl,' she said, 'Oh and Sammy?' I looked up. 'They're panties,
dear, not knickers! Ta ta!' I stuck my tongue out at her as she closed
the door.
I lay down on the bed and sighed. I slowly raised my hands to my
shoulders and traced my fingers along my bra straps and then slowly and
gingerly over my new breasts. A shiver ran through me as I felt the
lacy material that now encased my nipples just above the padding. I
stood up and puffed out my chest and sucked in my stomach to see how it
felt. I realised that I would always be conscious of the bra straps
pressing against my shoulders, and ruefully understood Natalie's
insistence that wearing a bra was important in making me look and feel
girlish. I sighed again and looked over the clothing. I pulled off my
shorts and pants quickly before I could think about it too much. I put
on the small pair of silk knickers, sorry, Panties. I'd never worn
anything like them before and again was surprised that they were quite
comfortable. They were fairly snug and for once in my life I was glad
that my penis wasn't very big, as once I had the skirt on I didn't feel
worried that anybody would be able to spot my true gender. I longed to
look at my figure but Natalie had made me promise not to look and I
couldn't see a mirror in this room anyway.
I opted for the blouse next. This seemed to be made of the same silky
material as the panties and I had a bit of trouble with it as the
buttons were on the other side to boys shirts. It fit me ok though and
was comfortable enough. I straightened my bra straps and noticed that
you could just about make out the straps through the thin material of
the blouse, which I didn't really like. I ran my hands over the mounds
on my chest through the blouse and pulled them around to make myself
more comfortable.
I looked at the tartan skirt with something close to dread. Somehow to
me it seemed to be the worst item of clothing, the nail in the coffin
that would mark me as a proper girl. All the other items felt like you
could just about get away with wearing without feeling too weird, as
with lots of clothing i could hide the bra, but wearing a skirt
definitely marked a person out as a girl. I decided to put it on last.
I pulled on the long white socks which stopped a few inches below my
ankles, and then squeezed my feet into the black low heeled shiny
school shoes and fiddled with the buckle. I stoop up, nearly complete
except for the skirt. I didn't even want to touch it, just doing so
seemed like I was betraying myself. I picked it up, and it felt
horribly alien to me with its soft material and pleats but at the same
time kind of familiar, I didn't know why. It had a flat panel at the
front and pleats starting from the side which ran round to the back,
and it seemed way too short. It seemed easy enough to put on though,
with a zipper at the back with a button at the top.
I stepped into it with my eyes shut and wiggled it around and up to my
waist. I supposed that you put it on like a bra, with the back bit done
up at the front to make it easier. I zipped it up, buttoned it and then
wiggled it around to my back so the button was even with the small of
my back. I instinctively tucked in my blouse and straightened myself
up.
So this was it, I was fully dressed. I didn't want to move so as to be
conscious of the skirt. I had thought that id feel really uncomfortable
but everything seemed to fit too well, really snug and felt almost
controlling, restricting. The skirt was a little tight but I was
comfortable with that as it held the blouse in. The hem of the skirt
wasn't as short as it had seemed but I would have liked it a little
longer, as it was it stopped a few inches above my knees. I walked
around the room a bit to see what it felt like. It was an odd feeling
to have the skirt brushing against my bare and now very sensitive legs
as I moved, very but not a really bad one somehow. I felt quite free
and unrestricted but strangely, at the same time it made me feel
vulnerable and defenceless.
I remembered Natalie waiting outside and I left the room. Natalie had
been lying back on her double bed reading a magazine, but she dropped
it when she saw me.
'Oh my god you look darling!' she yelped. 'Wow! Give us a twirl!'
I slowly moved around, my hands holding the skirt to my legs as I
didn't really like to feel it flapping around.
'How do you feel?' Natalie asked. 'And don't hold the skirt like that,
it looks weird. Just let it go.'
'I feel ok, a bit weird.' I said. 'Cant I wear trousers? What does it
matter?'
'Do stop going on Sammy, you know what I'm going to say. You look
lovely as you are, everything fits perfectly! You look like a member of
Tatu with your socks pulled up like that!' I quickly bent down and
rolled them down.
'Come on then and lets get your face on,' Natalie said, 'Although I
think you barely need any.'
This comment made me pleased and scared at the same time! I didn't want
to wear loads but thinking that I looked like a girl without make-up,
well...
'On the bed.' She said. I hopped on and sat down cross legged. The
skirt rose up awkwardly and almost exposed my panties, but I didn't
care in front of Natalie. She did though.
'No no Sammy! You cant sit like that with a skirt on can you! You've
got to get into it. Well I suppose it'll help when you see yourself
when I'm done. Go on, sit properly. Fold your legs under yourself.'
Sorry,' I muttered. She was right, I hadn't been thinking.
'Now just sit still, I've got it all ready,' she said, fussing around
the various tubes and things. 'I don't think you need too much make-up
as when I've done you're hair you'll look passable enough, but I'm just
dying to go to town on those gorgeous eyes of yours, be a crime not to!
You'll also need a bit of foundation and some light lipstick. '
'Ok, whatever.' I said meekly. Natalie told me not to speak as she
applied everything to my face. I didn't know what she was doing to me
but I let her get on with it. She applied a light red lip gloss to my
lips ('lasts longer than lipstick, you wont have to keep re-applying'
she said) I sat patiently while she drew around my eyes, brushed my
eyelids and put some weird contraption on my eyelashes to make them
stick up. 'I wont be doing this for you all the time,' Natalie said as
she worked, 'and as I said its maybe not always going to be necessary.
But this first time is special and I want to go the whole hog.
There...were done! Now the hair.'
She hopped around behind me and began to brush my shoulder length light
brown hair. 'You've got lovely hair,' she said. It actually felt really
nice and relaxing to have Natalie brushing and playing with it, I could
have sat there for ages. 'It could do with a really decent cut, but
you've actually kept it pretty well.' She brushed it all back tightly
from my forehead, pulled it up tightly on top of the back of my head
and tied it into a ponytail which reached just nearly to the nape of my
neck. Then she pulled some hair from the sides which hang down beside
my face to tickle my cheeks. She then hopped around to my front again,
looking me over diligently. She tucked the strands of hair behind my
ears. 'Look's a bit cuter.' she muttered. 'Wow,' she said, smiling. 'A
fringe would look even better, but I don't spose you'd go for that.' I
nodded my head no. I was starting to feel weird now and both
desperately wanted and dreaded to see what I looked like.
She reached over to her desk and grabbed a pair of tweezers. 'Hold on,'
I said. 'What are those for?'
'Just a few last minute touches, on your eyebrows,' she said. 'Its very
subtle, it wont notice when you're a boy. Hold still.'
If its so subtle what the point in doing it then? I thought, but stayed
silent. Natalie also clipped some earrings on me, and again I couldn't
be bothered to protest.
'Ooh, gotta do your nails as well!' Natalie squealed. 'Hang on!' she
applied pink nail polish to my already fairly long nails. (I never bit
them). I looked them over with mounting worry.
'There, we're all done!' Natalie said. 'God that was so much fun! Like
having a little sister to play with.'
'Glad you enjoyed it,' I muttered. 'Can I look now?'
'Yeah, yeah, hang on!' she said. She pulled me up and fussed over me
for one last time. She insisted on pulling my socks up nearly to my
knees, tightened the scrunchie in my hair and smoothed down my skirt.
She walked me over to the full length mirror and told me to close my
eyes. she stepped back from me and told me to look.
I opened my eyes and stared. I couldn't quite take it all in - what I
saw was both me and not me. I was looking at a cute young girl who
looked as if she was just becoming a pretty teen. My face looked soft
and round, I could see my cheekbones and my eyes looked enormous. I
opened my mouth in shock and the girl in the mirror opened her soft red
lips too. I raised my hand to my face and brushed my strand of hair
gently against my chin and then behind my ear, which had a clip on
round red earring. The ponytail on the top of my head was secured by a
red scrunchie which I ran my hand over gently. There was a neat
uniformed look to me as the red scrunchie matched my skirt and the
white socks with my blouse. My legs looked way too long but very little
girlish with the high knee socks and shiny buckled shoes. I looked over
at Natalie in astonishment, feeling horrified, but somehow the
sensation was thrilling also. Surely no one would think I was a boy. I
could just about see my boys face but it seemed as if now that face had
forever been changed.
Natalie jumped up and down in glee, clapping her hands together. 'Dont
you look great? I'm so proud!'
I was too shocked to speak. I backed away from the mirror and sat down
on the bed. Natalie sat down next to me and put her arm around me. 'Are
you ok?' she asked softly.
'I dunno...' I said. 'Its really weird. I, I look just like a girl,' My
stomach flipped over and my heart was banging fit to burst.
'That's what we want isn't it?' Natalie said. 'You have to look like,
feel like and be a girl for this, you know that. Its not that big a
deal is it?'
'But I don't want to look this much like a girl,' I said quietly. I
meant to say that I didn't want to look so pretty, but I couldn't get
the words out.
'Why not? What's wrong with looking like a girl?' she said, throwing
her hands into the air. 'You look great, enjoy it! You look prettier
than most girls I know, you should be happy!' 'Bit it feels so weird,
being, umm, pretty,' I said. 'I didn't imagine that I'd look like
this.' I didn't want to accept that image as myself, it felt scary.
'I think you should feel good about yourself, I don't see anything
wrong with it, for all intents and purposes now you are simply a very
pretty girl. You know what, you look like Buffy!'
I laughed, in spite of myself. Natalie did have a funny way of putting
things that actually made me feel better. I feared identifying myself
with that image in the mirror, but the way Natalie put it made it seem
ok. Really, what was wrong with looking like a girl? Nothing really, I
answered myself, but how about liking looking like a girl? But I don't,
I answered myself, not really.
'It's ok if you like looking like this, you know.' Natalie said
quietly. She had this uncanny knack of reading my thoughts. 'Anyone
would, you know, you look good girl! Just chill out and enjoy it!'
I had to go with what she said, it seemed to m