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School Girl By Sissy Baby Paula Chapter 1: The application and arrival I had spotted the advertisement in an international exchange news letter. It seemed to be perfect: A whole free year in an English Hamstead Court fg for foreign students from around Europe. The idea was to give students there a bit more knowledge about different countries in Europe and in exchange give the foreign student a free curriculum and possibility to learn more about England. After several years of studies I was more than ready for a change. Just to be able to brush up my English and maybe go around the countryside for a bit. And all this for free! I had already heard more than enough stories about how hard it was to get into any decent university or any other school - unless one was willing to pay astronomical sums for it. Well I wasn't exactly poor, but still the investment would have eaten up all my savings. So I thought that I can always back out, if I don't like the place. I answered the ad and got an application form. Some of the questions were a bit strange - like my height, weight, eye color, shoe size etc. Then they wanted to know my next of kin and their age. And they wanted a recent photo too! Well I could understand the last one: they probably had some sort of identification card system. But all the measurements felt a bit strange. The only reason I could come up with was that maybe they had some kind of uniform. For a free year I can go around in any stupid school jacket and tie I thought and sent in my application. I was pleasantly surprised to be accepted. I had informed them that I could not start quite at the beginning of their academic year, because I had a job for summer. But even this was no problem: I could start something like two or three weeks later than the other students at the beginning of September. The instructions I received were again slightly strange: I was to take with me only one suitcase with a minimum amount of clothing. I thought that this was something to do with the uniform business and simply thought, "Oh boy, what am I getting into?" Well one suitcase doesn't really take that long to pack and after farewells to my parents I flew from Finland to Heathrow, London. The adventure had begun, I felt! From Heathrow it took me half a day to get to Hamstead Court as I had to travel through London and change trains there. At last I was in a small country station in a small English town. It seemed to contain a shopping street, church, quite looking housing areas etc. Definitely not a big place. I had hoped it would have been a bit bigger, as I hoped to find good bookstores, computer game stores and such places. This didn't look like the town for that kind of shopping, but maybe there was something nearby. Maybe I could even borrow a car, if I ever got bold enough to try the English traffic which is driving on the wrong side of the road for most of us. The taxi driver had looked a bit shocked when I told him the address. We don't have many gentlemen going there, he told me. I wasn't - alas - in any mood for talking as I was tired after my trip so I simply ignored his remark and enjoyed the countryside. At last we were at the school: Big iron gates with a coat of arms and the name "Hamstead Court fg" in bold bronze lettering. And actually something that looked like a country manor house in the background. It did look very impressing, but I hoped that their plumbing was OK and also the heating too. I had heard many stories about how cold and drafty English houses can be. Living near the Arctic Circle I was more accustomed to triple glass windows and central heating. Well in for a penny in for a pound! I kept looking at the school grounds rolling by the slow moving taxi. I was amazed by the amount of rather young girls that seemed playing on the grounds. They all had this uniform thing on with knee socks and all that sort of things. I figured out that they must be a visiting group of children. Back home in Finland in my "alma mater" there was a lot of school kids around to find out what kind of higher education they could get in our university (or perhaps they were enjoying being out of school). Well, these girls are nothing for me to care about, so I started to look at the main building. It was four stories high and seemed to have two wings at each end. Then we were already there, and I got out, took my suitcase and paid the driver. I told he could go, wondering why he even asked whether he should wait for me. I said I would be staying which made him chuckle. "Very well miss," he said and drove off before I could ask him what the hell he meant by calling me - a very obvious male miss. Well he was a strange chap, maybe some kind of pervert. I probable won't see him again so I just took my bag and started up the stairs. I entered the building and found a small office on the other side of the entrance hall. I figured that I could get directions from there and so I knocked at the door and entered when I heard somebody say come in. There was a woman in her mid thirties or early forties in the office. She looked at me - like I was dog turd or something very unpleasant. I had already taken the letter of acceptance from my coat pocket so I simply introduced my self as a new student and gave her the letter. I had never before in my life seen a letter to work miracles, but this one sure seemed to do so! The lady stopped looking at me like I was somebody with an incurable disease and smiled pleasantly. "Welcome to Hamstead Court," she said. Then we proceeded out of the room and up a hallway towards the offices of the student tutor for my year class, as she informed me. The rector himself would see me, but only later on. The student tutor would show me the ropes so to speak. Before we entered the office she informed me that all the students should curtsy in the school for certain persons, and tutor was one of them. I thought I was supposed to bow a bit or something like that, but this lady showed me how to curtsy - a girl's curtsy with bending my knees, looking down and so on. I even had to practice this a couple of times. I mentally shrugged my shoulders and did as I was asked. We entered the offices and I did the expected curtsy as the tutor, Miss Bellamy, rose from her chair to greet us. My escort gave her the letter I had given her and left. The tutor kindly asked me to be seated and started to tell me something about the school history, how the classes were run, outdoor activities etc. There seemed to be a lot to do and somewhat less free time I had hoped. And the discipline seemed to be a bit strict, but she didn't really enlighten me about that, as it was to be the rector's job to tell me all about rules and regulars. I had arrived in her office around two in the afternoon and we stayed there for about half an hour. All this time I hardly said a word and simply listened to tutor's explanations. Thank god, I had eaten on the train as I would otherwise have been very hungry. At last the tutor came to the end of her little introduction speech, as she called it. I had no questions yet I told her, and so she told me to follow her. "We are going to have you fitted in your new school uniform." Oh, just as I thought - well I hope they don't have something ridiculous like shorts with knee socks. I had figured that a school jacket with an emblem wouldn't be that bad, but I wasn't really into shorts and stuff. I like my own trousers better, thank you very much! I was to be "pleasantly" surprised as there would be no talk of shorts or new trousers either. Still that could have been a better option or even just walking out right there and then. I do not know to this day why I didn't walk out, start a riot or anything. Maybe it had something to do with the strict kindness of the tutor and the staff in charge of the school clothing department. Oh, I am getting a bit ahead of what was happening. I was still in my thoughts, a bit tired and just hoping to find a toilet and something to eat in that order. I even wondered whether they had a bar here and if there was a chance for a beer. I happened to be a fan of English and Irish beers with Newcastle Brown Ale at the top of my favorites. Somehow I didn't think that this school allowed drinking on the grounds - so perhaps something was going through my thick scull. Well, anyhow I didn't have a long time for all these thoughts as we came to the uniform shop, as Miss Bellamy called it. She reminded me that I should curtsy to the women inside and then we went in. There were two elderly ladies and a younger one inside. I did the expected curtsy as Miss Bellamy introduced me as a new student. Then she said to one of the women - I think this lady was in charge here - that as a new student I needed everything. The ladies kind of giggled a bit at me and went to shelves to get whatever I was supposed to be wearing. Even at this time it was still a mystery to me. I silently thanked God that I had changed to clean underwear and had gone to sauna yesterday evening. If I had to undress to my underclothes I would still be decent and clean enough. Well, the state of my underpants shouldn't have worried me! Turning towards me Mrs. Bellamy told me in no uncertain terms to strip. Everything off, she said. I started to undress. First I gave her my overcoat, which I was still carrying. Then shoes, pants and shirt. Then I looked at her thinking that this must be enough. But it wasn't - everything she repeated and reminded me that in this school a repetition of any order was a black mark for the student. As a foreign student, I had perhaps not understood the rules clearly, so she would let it go by now, if I obeyed instantly. Feeling rather embarrassed and blushing - with my rather fair skin and golden or slightly reddish hair I do blush easily and noticeably - I did as I was told. It felt strange as I had only been naked among my family members in the sauna. After every bit was off me I noticed that Miss Bellamy had given my clothes to somebody and they were quickly disappearing. They would be burned in the trash burner, but I thought that they were being put into storage. Now it was time for my new clothes. Miss Bellamy instructed me that I must do a curtsy every time I was given an item to try on. We would be spending quite a while here, as I was to try the usual school uniform, sports outfit and a formal uniform. And these all had different accessories, so there would be a lot of changing. I asked Miss Bellamy if there was a changing room, but she stated that I must do it onto spot in front of all the ladies. "We girls can't be shy," she said which I thought meant her and the staff. But then my illusions were shattered completely: I was given a pair of panties or regular knickers as they were called. I started protesting that these are for girls and I am not a girl! Miss Bellamy simply asked calmly that did I now what "fg" in the school name stands for? I didn't and for that matter didn't care about, but it turned out to be enlightening: fg stands for "for girls." This was a girl school and I had enrolled in it without checking what I was getting into! Miss Bellamy wasn't about to leave me there standing and trying to bring my world back in some kind of order. She said in a very stern voice that if I liked to start my time in the school with a severe corporal punishment, fine! Otherwise, do as you are told, young lady! With my clothes gone I really couldn't face the idea of being arrested in a girl's school stark naked so I figured I really don't have a choice. I took the knickers and thanking for them as instructed I started to put them on. Now I understood all about the measurements as these knickers fit me perfectly. Miss Bellamy said that it was lucky that I was small enough to fit right with all the girls and she thought that with my fair complexion I would make a beautiful lady some day. But I would need to lose some weight. She then told me not to worry as I was not the first slightly overweight girl that came to school. They all left the school looking very trim and proper young ladies, I was told. Losing some weight was OK by me, if only the young lady bit could have been left out. Standing there in my panties, doing a curtsy to thank all the ladies for the next item of clothing, I knew that I must play along with the young lady bit too! The next item was a training bra which I put on with some difficulty. When I was younger I had tried my mom's clothes a couple of times so it wasn't a complete novelty, but I had no everyday experience of this garment. I even tried to protest that I really didn't need a bra as I had no breasts. Miss Bellamy told me that it was part of the regular dress and any girl without one would be severely punished. As to the fact that I had no breasts she told me that many first year students felt that way as they were a bit behind other girls in their development. "You will have beautiful breasts in half years time or so. Girls think that it's a secret that the first classers compare breasts in their dorm rooms, but of course we teachers know all about it. You will be as excited as any of the others, when your little buds start to grow," she told me in a matter of fact tone. I could only stare her. I knew right then and there that I would probably be given hormones or something and my possibilities of ever being a man again might be gone for good. And I felt so helpless - there was nowhere to run to in a foreign country with my clothes and papers gone. Even with just passport and wallet I could have cooked up a story of a robbery or something, if I had been able to leave the school premises. Miss Bellamy saw the doubts, fears and excitement in my eyes and smiled briefly. "And do not think that you are the only one. In each age group there are usually two or three girls like you. You can't tell which is which tough, as they all look just like girls. No one will be able to tell about you either when we are finished," I was told. Now I understood quite clearly why the school wanted all these measurements and a picture - they had to judge whether I could be girlish enough. Evidently they thought I could be! Next item was a slip - something no proper girl goes without. I thought it was a bit far fetched because my mom didn't use slips all the time. But in this school I really had no option and actually I didn't really care anymore what I would be wearing. It would be girl's clothes anyhow and I would be a girl. I was already thinking more about whether I would make a passable girl, because the fear of discovery was actually greater than the fear for being a girl. I mean some of my best friends have been girls and they weren't beings from another planet! But a male as a girl... that would really have hit the roof back home! While I was going through these thoughts I put on the slip, a white blouse and a gray pleated skirt, knee socks and black shoes - Mary Janes I was told. And of course the school cardigan. Quite automatically I thanked for each new item and did the expected curtsy. I could see a shadow of a smile playing on Miss Bellamy's lips as she stood there watching me. It would be nice to tell you that this was the end of my period of horror, but no! After I was made to parade for all the ladies - everything seemed to fit nicely - I was told to undress again. I almost started protesting, but one look of Miss Bellamy's now rather stern face stopped me on my tracks. And anyway - what difference did it make? I was wearing a total girl outfit already so anything more was simply adding insult to injury. So I undressed and again everything had to go as it was time to try the sports outfit with sports bra and knickers, white tennis skirt with a matching top and tennis shoes. These latter actually felt funny, because it was closest to man's attire I had so far gotten into. Naturally this wasn't the end. I was grateful that swimming suit and nightie only had to be checked against my body without trying on. But then we started with the formal outfit: it included rather finer looking variant of panties and bra, a very silky feeling slip, a blouse with lots of ruffles (it would really have looked beautiful on a girl...) and dark blue skirt and blazer. The last touch was the school tie - the only thing that any male should have worn. There would also be a formal gown for parties and more formal dancing, but that wasn't for us little girls. I was rather pleasantly surprised that this was to be the last outfit to try on. I felt that I needed to find a bathroom and fast. So I simply asked, where's the bathroom? This almost got me into trouble big time before Miss Bellamy again figured out that I was still only an ignorant boy at best. "You must ask politely for permission to go to bathroom and where it is," she told me in tone that promised a swift punishment, if would follow this advice. So I asked politely and was given permission and directions. After relieving myself (sitting of course) I came back to find a new girl chatting with Miss Bellamy. She was beautiful! This young lady introduced herself as Julia Wells, my new classmate and as the girl who would sleep below me in the dorm. Mrs. Selfbridge (the lady in the hall) had fetched her to welcome her new friend and there she was to give me some friendly hints. With her dark brown hair, smiling face and a ready chuckle she was a much needed liftoff for my spirits. Miss Bellamy told me that Julia and the other girls would know that I am "special," but they would treat me as the girl I am becoming. So there would be no reason to hold anything back from her or my class friends. Julia told me that she had been waiting for my arrival as it was funny not to have anyone sleeping in the upper bed (and not whispering with her after lights out). Her smile and warmness took must of my fears and resentment away. I found myself thanking her and smiling broadly. Then I noticed the difference between our clothing as I was dressed in the formal version and she was wearing the everyday one. A puzzled look, and Miss Bellamy told that the rector wanted to see all the new girls in their finest clothes. And I would be seeing the head of the school after tea break. Before this Julia and I would have time to put all my new clothes into my locker and she could also "brief me in" the happenings and ways of the school. Chapter 2 New experiences - new friends The last thing to do before starting towards my new "bedroom" was the fixing of my hair. It wasn't really long enough, but I had been kind of lazy in having it cut. For a man it looked messy and for a girl a disaster. But some brushing and two small pigtails started to form. They were awfully short and I found them acutely embarrassing. I mean, to see my hair was to laugh at me! But Miss Bellamy didn't share my opinion which she must have seen in my terrorized eyes as I looked at the mirror she hold for me. "Well, dear, you are not the only tomboyish girl to come here. It will definitely grow and these pigtails are only for the first year. By second year you will have a nice hair to try some different styles." The reference to a second year really scared me! I did notice that Julia had the same kind of pigtails with pink ribbons so perhaps it wasn't the end of the world. Miss Bellamy turned to Julia and told her that I must see the nurse before teatime so we couldn't stay in our dorm room too long. So off we went carrying a pile (a neat pile!) of clothes with us. I thanked my lucky stars that even in the formal dress we smaller girls didn't have to wear any heels. I was quite happy with the Mary Janes and their one inch heel. Even that felt funny as I couldn't walk on the backs of my feet but more with the front. I giggled a bit and Julia asked me what I was thinking. I told her that I used to know a girl (I didn't give her any time reference as that would have given away my true age). This girl had walked on such high heels that she looked like a ski-jumper. This didn't mean anything to Julia as she had never watched the sport. So I mimicked it to her: standing almost on my toes with hands behind my back and looking like I was going to jump ahead. It had been slippery at that time in Finland and the girl in question had been forced to walk very very carefully. Now I was in heels too! What actually happened was that these heels slowed me down some. I had always hated slow walking and was accustomed to long striving steps. But even with these very small heels I was afraid of twisting my ankle so I took shorter steps. Outrunning Julia would also have been less than polite let alone strange looking so I slowed down, looked at how she was walking and tried to copy it. Still I didn't seem to get the hang of her feminine grace and I think any outsider would have thought me as an ugly duckling. Julia must have noticed my troubles as she turned to me and told me in a quiet voice that she and all the girls in our dorm room already knew my old status - as a boy! I almost dropped the clothes I was carrying and my face must have been a mile long! She then told me that it was OK and I would simply be one of them from now on. Everyone would help me and they would give me nightly lessons in the ways of the girls. As for my ... my ... thing (as I very deeply blushing put it) - that was no problem. It would be tucked between my legs most of the time and anyway the teachers had told the girls that this was a diminishing feature anyhow. Oh no, another reference to some kind of hormone treatment! What if they castrate me? I'll never be a man again! With these disturbing thoughts in my mind we crossed the courtyard and neared our destination. We went into one of the wing buildings. This was the dorm side of school where all we girls live. It had four floors with us small girls living up top. I wondered why so - are the older girls lazier or in bad condition? But there was a somewhat logical expression: this would keep the small girls under control. Before we could get out we would be checked by many older girls. If we weren't proper there would be swift reminder and punishment. There was also less of a chance of us getting into any mishaps like trying to sneak outside to a nearby boy's school. I wondered a bit about that - I mean the older girls had very good reasons to sneak out too - who would stop them? On the first floor lived the oldest girls and among them the student prefects, which had a hand band and a stern look (most of the time) to tell us underlings who is in control. Teachers actually let them run the whole dorm and would only step in if one of the prefects made an error of judgment or break the rules otherwise. Julia kept explaining all this to me as we climbed higher, our arms full of clothes. I was relieved as we reached my new room that I was to share with Julia and 8 other girls. Julia showed me our bed and how to put the nightie under the pillow - nice and tidily just like in army. She as the first arrival had opted the bed below and I would get the upper one. I had already gotten the impression that Julia was a very nice and warm girl and she reinforced my view by asking whether I wanted to change the beds - if I had trouble sleeping up? I said no, upper bed is fine - even though my bed back home would be much more preferable. She smiled at that and told me that she was herself still very homesick at times. "But just wait till you start all the classes and other activities. The teachers are strict, but we can still have our fun with them and on the grounds they really don't see everything even if they seem to think so!" We started to put away all my clothes to my locker or closet at the end of the room. It already had several things neatly stashed away: a cosmetics bag with lipstick, nail polish and some perfume; three different towels, for bathing, for hands and face and for intimate areas; shoe polish; two purses etc. Julia told me that as I was a late comer she had thought it better to put all these things to their proper places as I would have been awfully busy to do all this before night bell. I was overcome by a rush of warm feeling for her and I hugged her thanking her. As we kept putting the clothes away - neatly mind you - she kept a running commentary of things I needed to know. First rule was a curtsy for all the teachers and prefects one meets. No turning or running away at the sight of one of them, if I would want to be in a very hot trouble indeed. The school rule was that girls are always happy to meet each other for a friendly greeting or a little chat. So it was impolite to hide. And a small girl always acknowledges her superiors, hence the curtsy. Much more stressful was that we must do a curtsy every time when entering a room of an older student and when we want to speak to them or when they come down from their 'Olympic heights' to great us worms. The only time we wouldn't have to do a curtsy was when we either had our hands full (like carrying these clothes) or when we were escorted by a teacher or a prefect. And of course from third year onwards only teachers were to be curtsied. On the fourth and fifth years students were regarded as young ladies - hence equal to teachers, curtsy only for rector or when introduced to an adult who wasn't part of the staff. Well it did sound complicated, but we small girls only needed to do curtsy to practically everyone so it would only be hard for my knees, I joked to Julia. She started to giggle and I couldn't help giggling too. "You are funny," she said hugging me. She then warned me of a couple second year students, who had probably had a hard time in their first year. These had a habit of greeting us at every possible opportunity. Once they had even shouted across the yard to a girl and then demanded curtsy threatening the poor girl for breaking the rules. As it had been the very first days my classmates were in the school, the poor girl was terrified. Hillary and Pam (the second year students) didn't know that a prefect had seen their trick and game down on them - hard. They were back in pigtails and first year curtsy rules for a week, but afterwards they just seemed to get meaner. Julia thought that they will sooner or later be thrown out of school as they simply didn't fit in. Julia could see the gears working in my brain and told me to stop even thinking about 'misbehaving course of action' as Miss Bellamy had told her to point to me that I would be thrown out as a freak - as a male who had tried to impersonate a girl in order to get into a school for girls. I dropped the thought as it had been a heavy stone as I could foresee what would happen: arrested, my face in all the national and international newspapers, either as a queer or worst - some sort of child molester. I had as much a chance of explaining the situation as a snowball has in hell! Anyway Julia told me that she already liked me and would be very sorry to see me go whatever way that would be. I looked at her and we smiled at each other - and somehow she was right - leaving this place if it would hurt her would be unbearable. Next item on the agenda was the different chores for the girls. Julia didn't really know what the upper class girls did, but we would have to help in cooking, serving the food, cleaning the school and washing. There was a rotary list which assigned each of us from the three first classes to one of these tasks for a week. First and second classer were there to do the work and third classers as supervisors and role models (they would do pretty much what they liked, which meant some fancy cooking but hardly any cleaning). As a late comer I had been assigned to a toilet cleaning detail that would do all the toilets in the main building (there were three of these details - one for main building and one for each of the wings). Julia waited for me to protest or something, but I simply shrugged and said OK. Julia looked curious so I explained (bending the truth to hide my real age again) that I had had a summer job in a cleaning firm helping one of my mothers friends (if Julia knew anything about the law she would have figured something funny here as 12 to 13 year olds are not allowed to work). This, rather powerful lady had worked the cleaning machines and I as a nimble teen had washed the toilets and other tight spots. I also emptied the waste paper baskets etc. Julia simply stared at me and asked, "You mean, you - as a boy - cleaned women's toilets?" "Yes, I did," I replied, "it wasn't anything special. I mean the only real difference is that women's toilets are cleaner as they don't use the... the thing to play water fountain or something. Men always seem to mess up a toilet. And when you have seen one women's toilet you have seen all of them. And we worked after hours so there was no one to see me." After this side path we returned to the ways of our present environment. Julia still had loads and loads of information. The punishment system must have been developed in the Middle Ages as it included many different options for corporal punishment. In his welcoming speech the rector had stated to the girls that a young filly must be broken in before it can be a beautiful mare (I started to wonder what kind of a freak this rector really was). Real BAD - and thank heaven it had to be capitally bad - behavior could end up with a public caning in the dining hall. Those were very rare, as it was usually used only as an option for girls who would otherwise be kicked out of school and whose parents were willing to agree to literally anything to keep their daughter in. One wasn't allowed to talk about these punishments to any outsider other than one's parents (who already knew, because it had been told them before their daughter could even start the school - and I guess there was some kind of selection system to exclude anyone who could blow the whistle). Much more normal was a hand spanking in classroom or a hit on the palm of one's hands with a ruler. Some teachers used a system where a student would have to go to teacher's chamber in the evening and as the rumor had it - be caned there. The prefects were allowed minor punishing methods like hand spanking, but in reality yielded the cane when deemed necessary. All this was some sort of tradition in the school! Everything was now in place and it was almost time to go and see the nurse. I still had tiny hopes of an escape so I offhandedly asked Julia, if we ever get to wear trousers or the girl equivalent - slacks or whatsit. She laughed a bit, but got more serious as she saw my crestfallen face. "Yes, as you guessed. No slacks. And don't forget that Miss Bellamy has a lot of photos of you 'playing dress up', so even if you could find pants you would be doomed. They would pull a story where you have applied as a girl and arrived with the regular knickers already on so there was no fault in the school in not noticing your 'maleness'. I am not making this up, I am simply repeating what Miss Bellamy told me. And anyway, I don't want you to leave. I like you, you are a nice open hearted girl," she said. I blushed at her last words and deep down resigned even more to my fate. Who ever had devised this plan, had been very clever and had thought about every loophole. And somehow I wasn't even thinking straight: I was bombarded with girlishness - the clothes, Julia there chatting away, the sight of orderly groups of school girls going across the yard or playing on the grounds. So off we went to see the nurse. Julia told me that she had been excused from the class and she would wait for me outside. I was grateful that at least the school seemed to understand the need for lots of moral support. On the way we met one of the dorm prefects and following Julia's example I hastily curtsied. It was still clumsy, but so was actually Julia's performance too (she had told me that curtsying was something that really went out with the dinosaurs, but not in this school and not with her parents who wanted the old fashioned discipline and manners). As we had the 'luck' to meet 'Cane-Moira' (I wondered what had this girl done to get that reputation in just few weeks of her prefectorship - I didn't want to find out exactly) we ended up redoing it for couple of times. "So you are Paula, the new girl?" Moira asked turning towards me. I didn't know if she knew the exact truth about me, so I answered very quietly in what I hoped sounded like a girl's voice, "Yes, Miss." Moira then gave us the works: play the rules, obey, do your best and keep in good graces with me or ... She really didn't need to finish. We dutifully thanked for the advice and after another curtsy we were excused. As we continued on our merry way, Julia commented the way I was walking and told me to take a bit more gliding steps. Compared to my normal walking I was already gliding, but I did try to glide even more. She also told me to hold my hands still and not look like I was marching on a parade ground. After these lessons we finally arrived at the nurses offices. The school nurse, Miss Jennings looked to me like a crossing between a dragon and a particularly strong female lion. She was big for a woman - at least 180 cm long and must have been doing some exercises as her body seemed to be very well tuned up. Compared to me - 164 cm, bit too much weight and too little exercise - she had the upper hand, if it came to show of force. She also sounded very strict and commanding. She didn't like to beat the bush so I was simply ordered to take of my skirt and uncover my but. I was feeling emotionally very down by now and didn't have the strength to put up even a show of resistance (which would have been useless anyhow). So I simply obeyed. I was given a shot of something and two bottles of pills which I would take at every mealtime. Very quietly I asked, if the shot had been female hormones and if the pills are more of the same. The nurse nodded so I simply asked what will happen. I hoped that she would tell me that this was just in the name of the game and nothing permanent would happen so I could in time go back home and laugh about it all - somehow I knew this wasn't going to be the answer. The option: a girl without any background and family in a strange country was simply too horrifying to think of. In a very medical way Miss Jennings told me that as I had already gone through puberty, there was some more work to do as I would be turned around from being a male to go through an accelerated course of female body chemistry. And to lay the matter at rest, she pointed that once my testicles started to shrink the results would be permanent without dosages of male hormones. The reason I had to start from the first class (for 12 and 13 year old girls) was evident: I would actually be turning out like a girl whose puberty is a bit delayed. So my option was to play along or to end up as something in between - not really a woman but not a man either. I would be given these shots weekly and in about two weeks time a doctor would put a capsule inside of me that would help the process. This doctor could later on help me to turn more life like girl, but that should wait for some time to give me possibility to shrink (by that time all the jokes boys had ever made about losing their family 'jewels' had gone through my head and I really felt like crying). And this wasn't the work of the hormones yet - just lonely old me in a tight corner with just one way out: to become Paula for as real as I could ever get. I actually cried a bit and found out that Miss Jennings had a heart after all! She held me in her arms and told me in very friendly voice, "It will be alright, you have a wonderful life ahead of you. Just think this an opportunity to live your teen years again." I thanked her for her kindness and put the skirt back on. Later on I would become a fast friend with Miss Jennings. She was a wonderful person and she was always there to hear my doubts, fears, hopes and to offer me a shoulder to cry on. Now it was time for the first meal in this place. Both Julia and I were hungry as we had both missed the lunch at two o'clock. She had been preparing for my arrival and I had been becoming Paula. After teatime there would usually be time to do homework, all our chores and play a little until dinner at seven thirty. After dinner we smaller girls would start their evening routine and lights out was at ten. The older girls (from third class up) could stay up until eleven and on weekends until twelve - and they could wash when they wanted to. We still had to wait for Miss Bellamy, as she would escort us to dining room. No first classers were allowed to move from classrooms or any other place to dining room without a teacher or a prefect as a leader (had they copied this thing from the British Army?). Naturally Miss Bellamy came in time - being out of time was as close to capital offence one could get here and that was a rule for both staff and students. She looked at me and asked how did I feel? I had to admit that I felt confused, frightened and strange. She then did something very unexpected - she hugged me. "My girl, every journey starts with one step. Yours is perhaps a bit bigger than usually, but the journey will still be as exciting as any you have ever taken," she said. Then we went to dining room. On the way I almost did a curtsy to another teacher, but held my self just in time. Miss Bellamy was quite happy with me stating that there must be Julia's hand in this. I blushed and said, "Yes miss." Then I was introduced to the biology teacher. As this was a direct introduction I figured I better do a curtsy even though I wasn't quite sure whether it was required or not (I was still with Miss Bellamy) and told biology teacher that it was nice to meet her. She acknowledged my greeting and told me that her name was Miss Fischer (it was hard to keep a straight face as Julia had already told me that she was called 'Miss Cold-Fish' by our class). She then continued by asking how well did I now my biology. I had to honest and tell her that not very well. "That deficiency we will most certainly be corrected, whether you want it or not, young lady," was the stern answering statement. Miss Bellamy took us to the teachers table this time. Even Julia was allowed to join me there to give me some security. Miss Bellamy then introduced me as the new student Paula to everyone and I did a curtsy. The teachers seemed to be happy that I did so because they smiled much more readily. Julia let out a silent "huh" (she hadn't told me that this would happen and what to do - she had forgotten all about it in her excitement). As first year girls we were regarded as 'helpers' and so usually there were two or three first year girls per table to serve the food. Teacher's table had two girls, but I wasn't supposed to do anything yet (maybe they thought that I would drop the teapot or something). I asked Miss Bellamy if I could help Julia as I thought it wouldn't be fair to let her work alone. Miss Bellamy was quite happy to conceit so I quickly followed Julia into the kitchen. Julia didn't want me to take the tray of sandwiches so I did end up with the teapot - but I didn't drop it. Serving the tea was a bit difficult as I had to go first and I didn't really recall which is the side the etiquette demands. I am left handed or rather much both handed so for me both sides are equal. I served on the right side and hoped it was correct. At least nobody yelled at me and I didn't pour hot tea on anyone's lap. After serving everyone we poured ourselves a cup and as Miss Fischer (at the head of the table) nodded sat down and eat. I again tried to copy Julia as much as possible, because to eat my sandwich in three big gulps and just to pour my tea after that might not have been well received. I must say that the fear of punishment or even just to be picked out of the crowd as someone a bit different or strange is a very good method to make one try to fit in. After tea we girls took away the dishes and left them in the hands of Rachel and Tina (two of my new classmates). Their chore for today was the dishes. Then Miss Bellamy took me in tow as it was the time to see the rector. Julia could go and do her homework. If I guessed correctly, she would be surrounded by news hungry crowd from our dorm room in just seconds - she was (she told me later). My tea seemed to be kicking in my stomach and it was full of butterflies. The short briefing of how strict the rector was and how he seemed to enjoy punishing girls given by Julia earlier was very much in my mind. Miss Bellamy knocked and we were told to enter. She then introduced me to rector (the only male among the teaching staff - what happened to equality of sexes here?) and was told to leave and come back an hour later. I was to be given the 'full briefing'. With an encouraging look - you can do it girl! - she left. Now I was alone with the rector, Mr. Hamilton. He didn't start to molest me or something. He simply stated that to be accepted into Hampstead Court fg was a great honor to any girl. In my case he was willing to explain a little more. The school had a policy of accepting boys that needed correction. I wasn't in that category. But they also liked to get the cream of foreign students - which usually meant real girls who needed a better start for their life. These came mostly from Latin America or Eastern Europe. I didn't quite fit into this group either. So there was a third very special group, which consisted of mostly foreign boys and males, who were thought to be a good addition to the school, both as hopefully very good students and for some other reasons (these I would learn only later, but then I wouldn't be really that mad as I suppose I would have been, if it had been explained to me in the beginning). This group would become females in mind and body and all traces of their former lives would be gone. The system seemed to be very well thought out, as my old male clothes would be found somewhere in quite a different part of the country and no trace of ex-me would ever be seen. Even the taxi driver had been in this and all his chatting had been just affront (if he really hadn't been willing to give me a last change). "But sir, this is going to devastating to my parents," I pointed as it was really cruel. The rector pointed out that I had (or used to have as I no longer was my old male self) a brother and four nieces. So my parents wouldn't be quite alone and anyway there was no point in discussing it. I would be going nowhere! Next I was given the official version of all the punishments. The only difference to Julia's was that the prefects caning was not mentioned. Then to my horror Mr. Hamilton showed me the tools of the trade - the canes. He took one and whished it trough the air. It is a sound that I wouldn't want to hear in my life. In the future I would be in the receiving end a few times, but still that sound brought a memory of this moment out. As I had been a good girl, there was no reason to punish me. "Some of you new girls (a reference to all ex-boys) have by this time accumulated enough demerits to get a real caning. You have been tolerable well behaved in changing your outfits, curtseying when needed and you have dressed properly," the rector said and continued, "But a reminder of how bad it can be is both good for your soul and hopefully keeps you out of this room in the future at least as far as punishments go." Then I was told to kneel over a punishment chair (something that looked like a patted foot chair). I felt Mr. Hamilton lifting my skirt with some difficulty (as the formal one it went below my knees) and then lower my knickers. I was told that the introductory amount was to be six strokes - minimum punishment would have been twelve. The first strike was devastating and I almost jumped up. This brought a stern order to stay still, if I didn't want this to become real punishment. So I prepared myself and received the rest of the strokes with tears streaming from my eyes and a loud yell after each stroke. Then I was allowed to stand up, lift my knickers back in place and smooth the skirt down. A real punishment would also have meant half an hour in the corner with the knickers down. As we still had some time I was told to be seated which I did very carefully, not wanting to risk my poor bottom - but it still hurt! We then had a discussion what I should be able to do well. I didn't understand how they had gotten my old school records and university records, but it really didn't matter. Mr. Hamilton actually said that he was pleased to have me, because I was interested in history and he teached it. He was pleasantly surprised when I told him that I had read Trevelyan's short history of England and also some books about the history of Wales and Scotland. His knowledge of Finnish history was - as one can expect - rather hazy, but at least he knew of winter war against the Soviets. Then we heard a knock and Miss Bellamy came for me. After an encouraging but stern comment that hopefully I will do well in the school, I was allowed to leave. I would now have about 45 minutes to change into the normal school outfit and then it would be time for dinner. This time she would come to take our dorm room girls to dinner which usually would be the task of the prefects. As we came to my room I found that all the girls very there full of excitement and waiting eagerly for me. Miss Bellamy left us and then the bombardement began. "How many did you get? - Did it hurt? - Do you like the school uniform? - Are you homesick? - Do you like Miss Bellamy?" It went on and on and I felt my self starting to smile at all this eagerness. I told that I hadn't gotten more than six which drew some comments like, "Lucky you, I got 12 - Rectors pet I got 8." As the hassle died down Julia started to take control. I was after all her 'charge' and 'bedfellow'. I was introduced to all of them: Jane (a shy girl from northern England); Tina (Jane's friend from the same town, but much more forthcoming); Rachel (a bit wildish girl from Scotland); Deirdre (also from Scotland. She and Rachel were becoming very fast friends); Beth (a London 'gal' who really needed to put a sock in her mouth sometimes); Mary-Ann (not London but somewhere pretty close. Naturally Beth's friend); Lisa (our first blondie - you are the second from Southern England) and finally her friend Susanna (she was always up to something - usually getting herself punished along the way). Now I understood Julia's eagerness a bit better. Everyone was friendly to one another, but the clique building had already started. This was something familiar, as I had been an unofficial part of a three girl group in my university. They were mostly together and I used to join them for the Friday night in town. If one is not in the inner circle, then one doesn't hear all the closest gossip and a best friend seems to mean so much more for girls than boys. Julia had up to now not had one in the school. I suppose in this situation we really had no other option than becoming best friends as I was so very lonely and being able to pour most of my troubles out to Julia and she wanted to have someone to confide into too. After all this banter had died down I started to change my clothes. I had expected them to leave, but Julia whispered to me, "Don't be an idiot. We will live together in this room for a year or two. We are all girls here and we'll probably see each other stark naked many times." Well she was right and so I changed my clothes - regular knickers and bra on and then the blouse and skirt. Soon Miss Bellamy arrived and took us to the dining room. Here both Julia and I were again seated in the teacher's table and performed the same tasks. Julia served the soup (something with vegetables) and I served the bread. Then the whole school waited for Mrs. Grattidge (the religion teacher) to say the grace. Then we were allowed to eat - again with as much gracefulness I could. I eat small pieces of bread and tried not to 'slurp' the soup. Dirty dishes were put away and something like goulash and baked potatoes for the main course brought in. I wasn't perhaps your best maid, but I didn't put any food on anyone's lap so I think it went OK. At least tonight I wouldn't need to do any toilet washing for which I was grateful. It had been quite a day even without that chore. After meal Miss Bellamy gathered our flock and back to our room we went. Usually the prefects took care of our evening routines (toilet and washing etc.), but this time Miss Bellamy stayed there. I think mostly to give me moral support. I must say that she is really a nice person, even if I can't fathom why she willingly takes part in these bizarre routines (e.g. turning boys to girls). So there I was in my knickers and of course my breasts were nothing to speak of - absolutely nothing! This brought forward a comment from Rachel: "Look Deirdre! You are no longer the plank among us! She has even smaller breasts than you do!" This comment made both me and Deirdre blush to a very deep crimson type of color. But nobody laughed and Susanna actually shot back to Rachel, "Yours ain't that big either." Lisa commented that Paula has the right hair color. "Yeah, you are both stupid blondes..." came back in a chorus. "Maybe, but we don't have to spend a fortune to have such golden hair," I volunteered. Miss Bellamy told us to quiet down, as it was our turn to go to the big bathroom (for the first year we go to wash as a group). We all had our night time panties with us so we could change. The regular ones would be washed and put on a line in the bathroom. In the bathroom there was a row of wash basins and a couple of bidets in one corner. By mutual consent I was given the more shielded bidet in the corner to wash my nether regions - which I did very thoroughly as dirty knickers would be a good way to punishment and a dirty bottom is not becoming to a lady anyway. I also had to shave my legs and arms as I hadn't been able to do this when changing from male clothes to school uniform. Then I washed my knickers and put them on the line. As we weren't allowed to wear make up, there was nothing in that direction to do so just to wash my face was enough. Only Beth and Susanna had to do some shaving so all the girls were ready before me. They all waited chatting away and from some giggles and looks I figured that I was discussed. Somehow it didn't feel bad about it - they had been friendly and I thought that I had felt real warm there. In our room we first put on our nighties, which were rather long (they went a bit under the knees). As we still had some time for discussion I was pressed into telling them about Finland. For them it seemed such an alien country in the far northern corner of Europe. They were amazed to hear that Finland is on the forefront in equality between sexes issues. I told them that our women had been the second one in the whole world to gain the right to vote in all parliamentary and municipal elections in 1906. They really burst out laughing when I told that my dad did most of the sewing back home and that the all of the family had to help when we cleaned the house. They then told me some stories about brothers who probably didn't even know what needle and thread is - let alone how to use them. Soon it was lights out and we all climbed in to our beds. Despite liking the girls my new loneliness really hit me then and I felt tears starting to run down my face. I must have made some noise as I could feel Julia standing up and whispering to me, "Lay by my side for a while so you get over it." I came down to her bed and there we were side by side with Julia softly caressing my hair and telling me how much she liked me and how much she had waited for her new best friend to arrive. I took her hand and thanked her and said that I would always be her best friend if she wanted me to be. Then I felt a little kiss on my cheek and I returned it. This was actually to become our ritual - the kiss of sisters (that was to be a real prophecy, but more about that later). I climbed back to my own bed and fell asleep dreaming about wild escapes but also about jumping the rope with the other girls. Chapter 3 First day in class I woke to a din of some kind of an alarm. I yawned and stretched to get the sleep of my body. Then I felt that something was wrong: I hadn't turned off my alarm, the bed felt different than usual. I opened my eyes to see a bunch of girls trying desperately getting out of bed and there I was in my very own nightgown. It all came back to me like somebody had opened the floodgates. Knowing where I was I knew that staying in bed wasn't the option. It must have been just after 6.30 in the morning as this was the usual wake up time. Julia turned to me and said good morning with a radiant smile - I suppose she is one of those morning persons. I am more of a night owl, but I can get up when necessary. And now it was! So a good morning to Julia with a smile of my own and then we rushed together towards the bathroom. Thank God the morning routine wasn't as guarded as the evening one and we could go to bathroom as we wished and not as a group from one bedroom. For me this could also mean trouble as I still had to keep my maleness out of sight (only girls in our dorm room knew and I wasn't ready to flaunt it to whole school). Still by keeping my panties on and changing to regular knickers back in our room I kept the risk at minimum. Without even thinking about it I was soon ready in my uniform. Julia told me to take my cardigan too as we would go from breakfast directly to class rooms and we were supposed to wear it on the grounds during brakes. "Hey, what about books and stuff?" I queried. Yesterday had gone down as one big male to female process so I had actually forgotten that this is a school and that meant schoolbooks. "They are all in your locker near the classrooms, so nothing to worry. I readied everything for you," Julia reassured me. "Oh, thanks ever so much Julia." "Hey, why don't you call me Ju or J as everyone else does?" "Sure Ju, but then you should call me Pa or P," I jokingly said. And from then on it stuck: Julia was Ju and I was Pa and together we were JuPa or J-P. Today it was Jane's and Mary-Ann's turn to help in the kitchen so they left before us. Ju reminded me that I would have to go wash toilets today, but it was after classes. I came to like these chores, which I could do in the evenings as one didn't have to hurry so much during the day. Then Ju told me something very alarming: I would also have to go see two older girls from fourth class as I would be their personal helper (the word servant or maid was deemed to be too demeaning). This would include little jobs for those girls and they would in return teach me about 'big girl' stuff like make up (and unofficially about boys). Only us first classers did this as it was thought to be a good training in being a teenage lady. The phrase I would hear again and again was that there really are no girls in Hamstead Court, only young ladies, and you must behave the part! Well I suppose we all did. Ju was very happy with her 'employers' as they only asked her to clean their room a bit and were fun to be with. I could only hope that I would be as lucky! Breakfast was past in a jiffy as I started to be more and more nervous about my first class. Ju and I sat at a normal table now as two other girls were doing the honors at the teacher's table. Here there were more people to serve but also two other girls to help us. They were from another dorm room so I didn't know them. We only had a chance to say 'Hi' while fetching things and I learned that they were Jane (called J-C as we already had another Jane in the class) and Valery. They both seemed easygoing and they welcomed me to the class. That was actually something that I must discuss with Ju - I mean they all were so nice to me - nice to a new girl - nice to an outsider. I could recall how tight a class could be when a stranger joins it. Just a tiny bit of difference, like a funny way to dress or to speak or different habits, and the whole group simply rejects the arrival. And I sure thought of myself as different! Lost in these thoughts I was happy when the breakfast was over and I hadn't dropped anything. We had only about ten minutes until the first class started and both Ju and I dashed to a toilet. I had been too scared about somebody noticing me so I had not done my morning ritual before. Now it was high time to do so. In the hallway outside of our classroom were two toilets: one for men (there were something like three male teachers in the school) and the other one for all us girls. Ju was actually taking care of me and was watching that I wouldn't do something stupid like going to men's room. Well for me a toilet is really a toilet and going to the 'ladies' was no big deal (later on I would learn that a ladies room is more like a general headquarters for the evening as one could get all the information about boys, make up, periods and such in there). A quick relieve and then we went to our lockers (I for one was glad that we weren't allowed to use make up during school days as it would have meant extra strain for me). Ju had been as good as her word - my locker was in perfect order. On an impulse I hugged her and said, "Thanks again Ju." "You are welcome, Lady Pa," Ju answered and even did a little curtsy for me after we had untangled ourselves. We ended up laughing which had to be cut real fast as the first lesson was about to start. I was going to have the most horrible way to start the school one really could have: the first lesson was in biology! Miss Fischer wasn't known to suffer fools gladly and what she thought as laziness even less so. And I had to jump right in without any prior knowledge what had been going on in the previous lessons. Ju actually groaned in sympathy as she remembered that she hadn't had the time to tell me about it. This almost got her into trouble as Miss Fischer must have heard Ju's groan coming into the classroom. Her hawk eyes looked at all of us, but now we were all imitating a group of particularly quiet mice. Even one of my old teachers who taught us Swedish language hadn't had quite that effect - and I had figured her to be the strictest teacher possible. As I was the new one Miss Fischer naturally called me into the front of the class and I had to introduce myself. There I was telling everyone that I am a twelve year old girl from Finland and that I would turn 13 at the end of October. I also had to admit (Miss Fischer asked it again - she already knew from yesterday that I was no shining light in biology) my poor knowledge in the subject at hand. Sure I could recognize some fish, birds and few flowers, but that was all in Finnish language! I landed in hot water almost immediately. The subject of the lesson was the ecosystem of fields and which kind of flowers grow there. Everyone had to describe a flower and it all started from my contribution! I came up with the name 'Daisy' (from Lucky Luke comics by the way) and tried to describe its colors etc. But this simply wouldn't do: I should have been able to give at least the basic scientific facts about the flower. Well I couldn't - and I got a hit with a ruler on my both palms as a reminder to do better. I was only spared a spanking in front of the class as it was my first day! "Remember, young lady, what awaits you, if your attitude doesn't change," I was sternly reminded by Miss Fischer. Thankfully I could do slightly better in subjects like what do birds and insects do in this ecosystem, but again I wasn't able to name or give details of hardly any of them. The little bit saved me from a spanking and the embarrassment of having everyone in the class know that I was still a boy. I only got a few more hits on my hands with the ruler. By the time this torture came to an end with the ringing of the school bell I had already made vows to myself to study the subject very hard indeed. Thankfully I had two evenings for this as the next lesson would be on Thursday. Now we had glorious twenty minutes to ourselves. I took Ju to the side and asked her what the next lesson was going to be and should I check something. It was going to be religion and there was nothing to worry. Miss Graham was a 'softie' as teachers go. We called her 'holy cow' as I think several generations of school girls had done. She wasn't known to have used any corporal punishment except once (as the rumor had it). Then it had been a rather dimwitted girl who had been daydreaming about some boy. She had answered some question about Moses: "I bet he would have been a good lay." (the girl was rumored to have been on second or third class). This had shocked Miss Graham to the very core of her soul and a mild hand spanking had followed. The girl in question had been very humiliated, because it was such a novelty to get a beating from Miss Graham. Well, this was good to hear and I didn't think the theme of our lecture 'Mercy and love in the bible' would be too hard (one can always babble something about the book of Job - how much a father loves a son; or maybe that bit that they tend to cite at weddings - without love one is empty inside). So we went to our lockers, witch were side by side, and put the biology book in and took cardigans out. Ju had a skipping rope in her locker and with a crooked smile she told me that it was time for me to learn how to skip rope. "But Ju, I am so terribly awkward. What if I keep falling? It will look ridiculous." "Don't worry Pa. Susanna and Mary-Ann will join us. Four girls to one skipping rope is plenty, so no-one else will join." So there I was on the school ground looking like any of those girls I had seen from the taxi when I arrived. I suppose I had probably seen some of my class friends then. The four of us found a quiet corner and my skipping lessons started. First Susanna showed us how to really do it - she was a real champ! I had problems as revolving the rope too slowly got it tangled around my neck and trying to do it faster got it tangled round my ankles. The girls giggled a bit, but as they were friendly giggles I didn't mind. When I had managed to do five or six jumps in a row without tripping myself, I was proclaimed to be a so and so starter. "You will do better," said Susanna, "but you simply have to do it more often. I guess all us other girls started when we were four or five so we have a lot of practice." Then they showed me a technique were two girls revolve the skipping rope and one or more girls jumps in the middle. I tried this, but got caught by the rope almost at once. Ju wasn't terrible good at this kind of jumping either, but Susanna was again a real professional. We could (I was doing the revolving with Ju) revolve faster or slower and she still stayed with us. Susanna told us that she had done back home with two ropes at the same time. I felt a bit flabbergasted as I thought that the coordination needed to even try to revolve two ropes at the same time would be beyond me. Well I was to learn... The school alarm sounded, the start for the next lesson, so we had five minutes to get the books and go to toilets if necessary. The lesson was easy - we just discussed things like how God loves all of us and how real love is the base for everything. I found the teacher a bit of a bore and could well understand her nickname. She wasn't terrible good at keeping discipline either and even Ju and I got some little whispering going. As we were almost on the front row Miss Graham noticed this and told us, "Girls, girls, could you please follow the lesson?" We chorused a sorry Miss Graham to her and that was that. In the back rows there was constant little humming going on and poor Miss Graham was unable to do anything about it. On the next brake we continued my skipping lessons which didn't seem to be doing me any good. But it was all good fun with Ju, Susanna