Kate Draffen (Chapters 10-17) free porn video

KATE DRAFFEN By Swishy CHAPTER 10 It was very nice to smell home again. You know how your house has a distinctive smell? Everyone's house has one. You don't really notice it until you've been away for a while and then it greets you like a family pet, happily waiting for you at the front door. I wrinkled my cute little nose up as I drew in a huge whiff of the old house. "It's good to be home!" I sighed loudly. I was perhaps overreacting because I had really only been away for two nights, on top of that I was only less than 5 kilometres down the road. It might have been good to be home but it was a little disconcerting too. It was a familiar place and thus I finally noticed how weird it was to be so much shorter. It was like the reverse of the feeling you get from going back to your primary school fully grown. The chairs, tables and everything around me now felt so big. Jesus Christ, I was a midget! Well, maybe I was being a touch dramatic but I was quite small, 5'4 in the old language. I would now have to get the portable step if I wanted something out of the top cupboard, like Mum and Nicole. Curse my tiny body! I kicked off my sandals and wondered what to do next. No idea popped into my head. My biggest hurdle had been getting out of the hospital and now I was free I had no idea what to do with the rest of my day, or tomorrow, or next week. I knew I was expected to go back to school at some point but I was sure nobody was going to rush me. Which was good as since going back to school would be my next big hurdle. I thought I would take my time going back to school. "What now?" I asked Mum. "Lunch?" Mum replied. "Nah, not yet. Not that hungry." "Wow! You have changed!" Mum teased me about my 'bottomless stomach' when I was male. "Well, if you are interested, you could have a look at these..." my mother swung open the TV room door and a treasure trove of cards, flowers and presents awaited me. It was way bigger than Christmas and probably bigger than all my previous Christmases combined. "Who are all these for?" "Michael and Gemma," Mum teased, "But don't you two fight over who gets what!" "Can I help you open 'em?" asked Nicole, her eyes as wide as plates. "I guess so," I said so as I went inside and sat on the couch. There were a lot of cards to get through. Some from my friends at school, some from people I barely knew and even more from complete strangers. Most people went for the 'Get Well Soon' which seemed to be the right choice of card, although a guy I barely know from school sent an 'It's a girl' and Nicole actually found a condolences card. Most of them were short but very sweet messages of hope directed to me. Some had money in them, some had gift vouchers to clothes stores and other places. I guess people weren't aware that I was now comfortably well off, thanks to the price some others will pay to know more about my story. But not all of them were nice. Nicole found the first one. Normally after each card she would say, "Awww, that's sweet," or "Yay! Another gift voucher!" I knew this time was different when she scrunched the letter up and threw it. "Fucking losers!" didn't sound as complimentary as her other comments either. "What was that?" I asked. "Some religious fuckwit who says that you are a poof getting your just desserts." It never dawned on me that some people wouldn't be on my side. I had never seen this body as an affront to God - an affront to me, sure, but not God. I was not at all religious but I wanted to see if I could see their side of things. After a little bit of thought, I could understand why they'd be upset; some people were using technology to thwart the choices of God, but I wasn't the perpetrator, I was the victim! So I decided not to go and get upset about it. That wasn't the only weird letter I received. Some weird guys wrote of how jealous they were of me. One guy requested my first pair of panties to be sent to him. One of the packages contained a vibrator and a brand new digital camera with a request to 'Please enjoy and show me how much you enjoyed'. All this stuff had arrived before the public had even seen me. I could imagine how the big pile of letters was going to be over the next couple of days. I tried to laugh off most of the letters. But after one too many scary-weird ones, I went to my room to have a cry. Crying was just another part of the day for me, these days. I'm pretty sure I could blame it on being a girl but I don't think that was the case. I could just as easily see myself being male and crying more if Mum or Nicole had died. I'm fairly certain being a girl was what was upsetting me. I didn't like all the attention, I didn't like how it was complicating things with all my friends and I didn't like being in this body. Sure, my last body wasn't perfect and a lot more people would call this new body a step up but I still really liked my old body. Mum knocked on the door, so I rescheduled the rest of the crying session until later. "Want some lunch, Gem?" "That would be great," I said trying to sound like I hadn't been crying. Mum carried in a plate with two rounds of BBQ chicken sandwiches, my favourite. I rubbed my red eyes and took the plate. "Ta Mum." Mum sat down alongside me on the bed and took a deep breath. I knew she was trying to think of something to say. The last few days had been so weird and the conversations had all been about the dramatic events in my life. I sensed that Mum just wanted this talk to be about anything but the change. I started to hoe into the sandwiches while Mum wondered what to talk to her new daughter about. Mum glanced around at my room, "I guess you'll be taking down those girly posters, huh?" I was wrong, Mum didn't want to avoid about my recent change, she just wanted to work up the confidence to ask me about my sexuality, a tough topic for any mother to broach with her daughter let alone a daughter who was only 2 days old, fresh out of the hospital. I looked at Jessica Alba, Keeley Hazell and Krystal Forscutt staring back at me sensually. Oddly, I felt... nothing. No wanton desire, no yearning, no disgust, no jealousy... nothing at all. By contrast I pictured a handsome guy, muscly, naked and well endowed... also nothing. Maybe SGR had made me asexual. That fate may be better than developing a love for burying penises deep inside me. "I don't know," I sighed, a non-committal sigh, "I'm not ready to take them down just yet. But I don't really mind." By using the topic of posters I believe we had successfully held a conversation about my sexuality. Embarrassment averted! But not for too long. "So how do you like your giant boobs?" Fantastic! I thought we had a nice little code to talk about embarrassing things and she had to go and ruin it! My face grew red and I stammered out my answer, "Umm.. they're big and I keep bumping them with my hands. Is 17 too young for a breast reduction?" "Oh come off it! You've got plenty of time to enjoy them before they'll start hurting your back. Live a little and show them off!" She stared down at my cleavage, "They are so perky, Gem. Mine didn't get that big until I was preggers with Nicky and they really start to sag after childbirth." The thought of childbirth was not one I was entertaining nor did I want to hear about the state of my Mum's breasts, I was having enough problems getting over my own. "The bra strap is digging into me." "You'll get used to it," she said in a world-weary voice. "Not if I get a reduction," I hinted, "We can certainly afford it now. I probably have enough Just Jeans vouchers out there to get one!" Mum only smiled at the joke. "Well, since you're only 17 you'll have to wait at least a year because I am not going to sign for one. And I'm pretty sure Annette and Dr. Chisholm would be against it." "But it's my body," I argued. "Barely," she retorted, "You've scarcely had 'em 24 hours and you want to lop them off? Live with them, they are part of you. And when you get your sexuality back in whatever form it comes back, I'm sure you'll learn to love 'em. I love mine, I can't tell you how many times they've helped me out of many a jam." "Jam?" "Yeah, speed fines ripped up, served faster at stores and bars. You'll have men falling over themselves to help ya. You've just received a treasured family gift." With comments like that you just have to laugh, so I did. Nicole was still opening my 'fan mail' after my beyond awkward talk with Mum. "You're a rich girl now, Gemma!" my sister called from the TV room. "How much?" I asked curiously. "Over two grand in cash!" "Awesome!" "You've got a bunch or cheques and gift vouchers too!" "Take a few for yourself." "Really?" "Yeah." "You're the fucking best, little sis!" 'Little sis' was something I was going to have to learn to get used to so I didn't comment on it. With my mood already on the depressed side of things I was not looking forward to Annette's visit. She sat me down at the kitchen table so we could have a 'girl talk', although she was much too professional to call it that. "This is a lovely house." She chewed demurely on an apple I had offered her and began the work of checking up on me. "So Gemma," she said, "How is everything?" It was the kind of open-ended question she often opened with, one I would never honestly answer and she knew it. Why she kept it up I'll never know. "Fine," I responded flatly, while resting my head on my hand and my elbow on the table. At least I knew she wasn't going to jump headlong into a conversation about my 'giant boobs'. "Today was a big day for you. How do you feel about the press conference?" "It was OK, very scary." I thought I would throw her a bone. "Why was it very scary?" she asked. "Well, there was so many people watching me and this was the first time I had gone outside looking like this," I gestured to my body, a body that I was stuck in. "I think you did wonderfully, Gemma. So many people came up to me and told me how well you spoke." Why random people were coming up to Dr. Annette Fischer to give her compliments about me I'll never know. "Thanks for picking the clothes too. They are nice." "Thank you Gemma. I was pretty certain you didn't want a skirt or anything like that." "You're smarter than you look." She laughed at my comment, but a laugh that sounded like 'I'm doing this to humour you and to show you I am a good sport'. She handed me a blank piece of paper and a pen. "Today I want to try one or two exercises with you," she addressed me as if I was a kindergarten class, "First off I am going to give you a minute to write down all the things that you wanted to achieve in life as a guy that you still can achieve as a girl." I could see what the point of this exercise was from the outset but not wanting to cause her any more grief I complied. It was reassuring that I was still left-handed, supposedly only 1 in 10 people are left-handed and it would have really thrown me out of whack if I had to start writing with my right hand. I leant over the kitchen table to scribble away and laid my elbow on the table but unnervingly my hefty boobs also rested on the table. I would have to learn to not hunch over as much when I wrote, another thing to add to the list. -Graduate High School -Graduate Uni -Get a good job -Travel It was about there I was stumped. Those four things sounded fine, but a good life is made up of more than just those four things. I just couldn't think of them, I think they are a lot of small things. "That's all I could get," I owned up as I slid the relatively blank piece of paper back to her. She lowered her glasses on her nose and looked over my small list. "Don't be upset with it. This is a good and concise list. Those are achievable goals for anyone to have and for some one as naturally talented as you, I'm sure you'll be set for life. Now, I want you to write all the things you can't achieve now that you are a girl." See the point of the exercise was that my list of 'things a girl can't do' would be extremely slim. I saw that going into it. Didn't mean I wasn't going to come up with a few. Annette furrowed her brow when I returned the paper again. "I would like to think that your inability to write your name in the snow wouldn't be too devastating." She was not a jokey person in the slightest. "And I must correct you, it would still be possible to have a sexual encounter with Jessica Alba." OK, maybe she had a slight sense of humour. "Annette, can I ask you some personal things?" I didn't particularly want an answer from her but I did want one from someone and she was qualified. "Of course." "I kinda have no sexual drive at the moment. When is it going to come back? And what is it going to be?" Trust a teenager to have nothing but sex on their mind, even when they are unable to have sex on their mind. "It's different among a lot of the cases. Some people's original sexual orientation remains while most of the other cases readjust to their new genders. The fact that you are feeling asexual at the moment means there will be a strong chance you'll start becoming attracted to boys. But as for when, I can't pinpoint an exact time and date. Some have noticed a gradual increase while others have explained it's like a light switch being turned on, completely asexual one minute and attracted to the opposite sex the next. Could happen today, could be as long as a month." Having the 'light switch' moment with my sexual drive seemed a little scary so I hoped for a 'smooth transition' into my new sexuality. Actually, I hoped for a return to my old sexuality. I liked being turned on by giggles, little skirts, curves and softness. The idea of being turned on by guys and their angles, hair and hardness seemed a tough job to do. "What is Draffen's sexual orientation?" I quizzed. "He struggled with it for a while but John is heterosexual. He was ashamed at first but is slowly learning to enjoy it. Let's just say he has a few magazines under his bed." I remembered my pile of magazines residing under my bed and was a little sad at its alluded redundancy. "When your sex drive does return, do not feel ashamed at the prospect of masturbating. It's a perfectly healthy thing to do and a far more safe alternative to sexual intercourse," My life was just going to be full of these embarrassing conversations for a while. "Did you masturbate as a boy?" Annette asked me. My mind flicked back to the many times I had enjoyed my own company, looking at pics on the net. Pictures of cute girls squeezing their breasts together or joyously sucking on a man's cock. Or other times where I pictured Holly stripping for me. "Yep," I confessed. "Well for a guy, masturbating is rather limited to your penis and your hand. For women the process can be as simple as your vagina and your hand but many women use other devices. Like dildos or vibrators." "Someone sent me one today," I informed Annette, remembering the long chrome shaft in the nice box. "Who did?" "Some weirdo who also included a camera. I got a few weird presents." "Well, I wouldn't use that one just in case. The world is filled with sick people." That sounded very pessimistic coming from a psychologist. "I have included quite a good vibrator in the package I brought with me today," Wow! Nice work, dowdy Dr. Fischer! "Along with other girly things: tampons, pads, and other feminine hygiene items." Oh no! Let's not talk about those things yet! Annette must have read my mind, "But that's all for another day." "Now Gemma, I'll be around every day now for the next couple of weeks. Together we're going to be getting you ready for school and making this transition into womanhood a..." 'Smooth' you're going to say 'smooth'. "...smooth one." I nodded in agreement. She told me I could call her whenever I wanted day or night and she'd help me through any problem I had. Annette was trying her hardest, I'll give her that. It's just there was a clash of personalities, something very common. I decided to bite my lip and help her a little more. The sooner she deemed me healthy, the soon she could go on her merry way. There are two types of families in the world: those who watched TV while eating dinner and those who didn't. We watched TV while we ate dinner. I'm sure some families frown on that sort of activity because they enjoy talking, but the fact of the matter is we do a lot of talking, mostly about the TV. Today the news played my speech word for word and I listened to it, cringing at the sound of my new voice. It was so high and girly. I guess I was no longer a bass at choir anymore, I'd be lucky if I was an alto. A lot of commentators had a lot of nice things to say about my speech, calling it 'mature' and 'thoughtful'. The piece ended by saying there would be an exclusive interview with me next Sunday night. Not only was I transformed into a girl and expected to fit in, I now had to compete against 60 minutes too! I didn't have any visitors that night because we were all going to hang out at the Madsen house tomorrow night, kind of a 'Welcome Home' party for me. We'd do the usual, watch some DVDs, have a few drinks and stay up late. Really just the norm for a Saturday night in February. At the moment I had an itch I couldn't scratch - I desperately wanted to go swimming. It had been almost an entire week since I was last in the sea, before this whole thing began. I had never gone so long without swimming in my entire life. While the urge was there, the bravery was not. I couldn't bring myself to actually strip down and throw myself in the water. Maybe tomorrow. The evening was mainly spent by writing in my diary and listening to my iPod. It was the kind of quiet Friday night I liked to have before the change. If I had a tough week there was nothing better than a quiet Friday night, losing my way in my mind. It was my secret escape. This week had been incredibly tough and it was a great relaxant. I still cried myself to sleep though. CHAPTER 11 "We brought Burger Rings!" I said through the mesh of security door. Burger Rings had always been my favourite chip-like snack but I resented how everyone else neglected them. The neglect mostly came from people forgetting them, by ignoring the orange bag with black lettering but oddly some people didn't like the taste. These types of people are fools. The way Kev Madsen grimaced at me holding the bag probably meant he was one of those types of people. "I said you didn't need to worry 'bout getting food. Mum and Dad have left the pantry fairly chockers." "But she demanded we pick some up," Glen groaned, "Something about 'Lest we forget'." "I just think Burger Rings are a neglected food stuff," I admitted, swinging the bag like a hypnotist's watch. Kev opened the door and let Glen, Dot and me into his house. If you think I sounded a little different, it was because I was feeling a little different. Before I arrived at the Madsen Brothers' house I had downed a few Vodka Cruisers (I know it's a girly drink, but I was drinking them before the change). Mum, in an effort to cheer me up, had bought a dozen for me to share with my friends. While at Dot's house, Glen, Dot and myself had drunk eight between us. While Dot and Glen had only drunk two each, I was currently winning on four. Hence, my mood. I felt buzzed. "Hi Gemma," Mads said from the couch in his lounge room. I was amazed no one had slipped up and called me Michael. But in hindsight the reason was apparent. People were as likely to confuse Dot and Glen, as they were to call me Michael. One was a girl and one was a boy, there was no mistaking the two. "Great speech yesterday!" Mads enthused. "Thanks, man," I said as I sat next to him on the couch. "Yeah, me and my mates all YouTubed at lunch time in the library." "It was on YouTube?" Considering I made the speech at 10am, making it onto YouTube by lunch was quite a feat. "Yeah," Mads said, "There was several copies of it. I'm sure there is a lot of Net chat about you going on." I really must Google myself one day. The lid of the Vodka Cruiser sat beside the other one and kept it company, as I gently tipped the bottle at an angle letting the bright neon liquid pass my lips and into my stomach. This was my sixth of the night. I was enjoying myself. We were all engaged in a game of Scene It, which was a movie trivia board game that comes with a DVD that has movie scenes and questions on it. I don't want to brag, but I was doing pretty well, I like trivia a lot, and movie trivia just happens to be my forte. "THE BIG LEBOWSKI!!" I screamed as pure excitement propelled me off my chair. My boobs clattered violently beneath me as I jumped up and down when it was revealed to be the right answer. Tonight, I wore another tank top and another pair of jeans because that's pretty much all I had. The new tank top was bright red with black bands around the top and showed a little more cleavage. The material was a little clingier too but Mum had said that girls' clothes were generally more figure hugging and I would have to get used to it. I didn't mind showing a bit of boob because I was only being seen by my friends: one of whom was a girl, one of whom was probably gay and Glen and Kev didn't seem to be too threatening to me. However, the fact that Kev spent most of the night with a cushion covering his lap did make me a little suspicious. "Ease up with the drinks, little Miss Movie Buff!" Dot warned, "I didn't think 3-day-olds were allowed to drink." Everyone laughed and I sheepishly put the bottle down. "It's OK," I assured everyone, "I'm not drunk!" I considered myself to be slightly tipsy: intoxicated enough to forget about my slue of problems and let down my hair but sober enough to walk without falling down. "I know, I know, you keep telling us that!" I giggled, the one sure sign that someone was drunk was the constant denial of being drunk. Maybe I had drunk enough. I decided to finish off the bottle and leave it there. Despite being a lot more intoxicated than all the other players, I trounced everyone in the game. I danced a little victory dance to commemorate my win and prove to everyone that I was drunk and a sexy body does not necessarily mean a sexy dancer. I shook everyone's hand in mock good-sportsmanship. "Good game, Glen, so close. Good game, Dot. Good game, Mads. And now you know that Steven Spielberg didn't direct Alien, Kev," I teased Kev because he came dead last. "Like I care who directed Alien!" The boys turned on the TV to watch the cricket. Well, actually they were just flicking through the channels just looking when they came across it. The scores were so close and the commentary team so excited they wanted to watch it. Not as enthusiastic about the cricket as the rest of my former gender I went to shoot the breeze with Dot outside. Don't go thinking that my disinterest was because of the different hormones sashaying through my girly body, I would have abandoned watching sports on TV for a chat, anytime, penis or no penis. "Hey Victor/Victoria over here!" Dot called to me. She sat on the steps of the Madsen family decking, which gave an amazing view of the sea. The sun was threatening to call it a day and as a last desperate act before logging out for the night was painting the sky a lovely shade of purple. The night watchman, the moon had already clocked in and was patiently waiting for the sun to leave so that he could begin his shift. The presence of a cool, refreshing breeze made it the type of night that your brain would take a snapshot of, just in case you were panicking and needed an emergency calming image. It made me glad I lived in Marrang and glad I was alive. "Yo! Christen Jorgansson!" Dot called out to me again and ruined the moment. "Dot! Shut up! I'm coming. I stumbled a little, as if I was wearing high heels and plonked myself beside her. She lit up a cigarette and began puffing away. I didn't like Dot's smoking habit. She claimed it was inherited from her mother and she only rarely did it but she and I had two different opinions on what 'rarely' meant. For such an incredibly smart girl, smoking seemed to be too stupid a pastime for Dot but nevertheless smart girls seem to make stupid decisions. Like Holly taking that dick, Sobey to the Deb. "Turkey's done," Dot cryptically said, dryly. "Huh?" "I said that the turkey is done." I furrowed my brow in confusion, "Still not getting you." Dot sighed, the same little angry sigh she often reserved for me when she became frustrated with trivial matters. "Let me put it this way... The weather is certainly 'nippy' out here." I finally cottoned on to what she was gabbing on and looked down. Sure enough, my two plump nipples erectly stood up, clearly visible through my little top "Oh great!" I groaned as I clumsily tried to cover them. "Don't worry about it! I was just teasing you." "These boobs have got a mind of their own!" I complained. "Well Gemma, they are big enough to warrant their own brains!" I gave her serious daggers. "How big are they?" Dot asked staring deep into my cleavage. "10D," I mumbled, reciting what I had read off the tags from my brassieres. "Shit! Skinny with big boobs, I might be too jealous of you to continue being your best friend." "So, how is my best friend doing?" Dot asked as she stubbed the smoke out on the decking and scooted a little closer to me. I was finally asked this question by someone I didn't feel I had to lie to, there was no pressure or guilt about telling the truth to her. "It fucking sucks, Dot. I hate so much of it. Not just the body, but the way people act around me and the whole fucking country watching my every move!" I balled my hands into tight fists again for the hundredth time that week. "Settle petal," Dot said as she draped her arm around my shoulder, "Us girls are in this together. I'm totally here for you. I've had 16 years in this being a girl business so I can help you out! And believe me I am going to treat you exactly the same" It was a nice thing for a girl who found saying nice things a particularly difficult thing to achieve. "Any tips?" I still wasn't used to the girly squeak that was my voice. "For being a girl?" Dot responded, "Umm... never ever leave your tampon in for more than 4 hours, don't pretend to be stupider than you are to get a boy, learn to love the Gilmore Girls, spitting is very preferable to swallowing, don't listen to any gossip, you're always going to be judged on your looks, broken hearts are curable and masturbation is a very good way to spend your free time." There was a silence while I took it all in. "I already like The Gilmore Girls," I admitted. Dot laughed. It was quiet again after that. "You know, you are my first female best friend?" Dot said, looking at the horizon. "I'm not sure if I count." "Well, I'm counting you," Dot said, "All my life I've always wanted a best friend who was a girl but me and other girls just never seem to get along that well." She was right, thinking about it I couldn't picture any girl Dot would call a 'good friend'. "From kinder all the way to high school I've wanted a friend I could talk boys with and go shopping with." "You never seemed too into clothes and boys, Dot." "Well, compared to most girls I'm not, I mean I love hanging with you and Glen and playing video games and stuff, but there's sometimes I just wanna have girl chat." "Aren't you lucky?" I said snidely, "You must be so happy I grew a cunt." "Don't be a dickhead, Gemma!" Dot snapped back, "You know I didn't want this to happen to you. I'm just saying..." I knew how she wanted to finish the sentence, so I did it for her, "You're glad that it did." Dot stood up, clearly fed up. "Don't be such a bitch!" she said, sounding hurt. It was never my intention to hurt Dot but I wanted her to admit she was slightly happy I grew into the best friend she always wanted. "Own up, Dot! You're a little bit pleased to have your best friend transform into your own personal Barbie!" Dot shot me the daggers, "Stop feeling so sorry for yourself! Fuck! You're already more girl than you think!" She stormed back into the Madsen's house. Sheesh, women! Can't live with them... In that argument there, I was pretty sure that I was the victim, it was only a few days after my massive change and I was still coming to terms with it. In my eyes, I was allowed to be a little unpleasant and dare I say it, bitchy, I had earned the right. Why Dot thought she was entitled to be equally as bitchy, I don't know. I wasn't going to be the side to make amends, that was not my job to do. Back when I was male, she never seemed to be that sensitive. We never fought at all. Sure we had friendly disagreements and jokey fights, but they never ended with one of us storming out. Maybe she was PMSing. If that was the case, I was not looking forward to it. So, I sat outside, hogging the last seconds of the beautiful sunset all to myself. "Hey," said a voice behind me. It wasn't Dot coming to apologise, it was the voice of my other best friend. "Hey Glen, what's up?" He came over and sat where Dot was sitting moments before. "Nothing much, buddy," was all he said and that's all I understood. If he was saying more using 'man-language' I couldn't tell. Two days without external genitals and I was having trouble reading 'man- language'. Out of the corner of my eye I caught him taking a peek at my erect nipples, so in defence I tried to cross my arms in front of them. He must have seen me seeing him, so he said, "If I had to bet which one of my best friends would develop big boobs, I would have probably picked Dot." "Yeah," I laughed, "Would have seemed like a safe bet." "She's in there, crying, you know?" Now that was surprising. Dot was not one prone to crying or any other fits of emotion. In fact, since I've been friends with her I don't remember ever seeing her cry. She, on the other hand, had seen me bawl plenty of times. "It's not my fault," I said, childishly, "She was the one who started it!" I was putting Glen in a position he didn't want to be in. Glen was laid back, totally non-confrontational and not one to be getting in the middle of a squabble between two girls. "Look, we both know how selfish Dot can be. She can't help it, she's just built that way. But you are a perfectly functioning human being, just be the bigger man," Glen realized his mistake almost right away, "I mean...bigger person, and go and apologize. You know she's far too stubborn to make the first move." Glen made a good point, Dot was not the type of person to admit fault in any situation. She often went toe-to-toe with a teacher if an answer she had given in a test deemed incorrect and she thought otherwise. If she was to come out here, it would be to yell at me some more. Glen knew I would be the first to apologise, I knew it too. "Yeah, I know. Just give me a few minutes to cool down." "I miss my cock." It may have been an obvious statement but I had never said it out loud until then. Glen looked at me. "But surely being a girl has its upsides." "I haven't found them yet." "You mean, you haven't 'plucked the strings on the ol' banjo'?" Glen gingerly asked me. I couldn't believe that Glen had asked that. "Ewww! No! ... I'm kinda urgeless anyway." "Not into guys or guys?" "Not yet, the doctors say it should be soon." "So, you're going to wake up some day and start craving the cock?" I shuddered at the word 'craving', an image of me surrounded by men, erect and all waiting their turn while I serviced them flashed into my mind. "Something along those lines." "Wow, that's scary," said Glen as he tried to picture it, "You've got so many things to deal with, Gemma." "Yeah, there is a lot on my plate at the moment." And that was no lie. "When are you coming back to school?" "When Annette and Dr. Chisholm think I'm ready. I'm not sure I wanna come back." "What? You wanna drop out of school?" Glen asked. "Maybe..." Kev came out to join us next. "Dot's doing OK now," he informed us, "I've never seen Dot cry before." "Yeah, I was pretty bitchy to her," I said as I made room for Kev to sit down beside us. The sunset was officially over now and the night seemed to be just a little bit colder. "But you're allowed to be," Kev sided with me (out here at least), "You've been through an awful lot." "Did you know she doesn't even know if she's attracted to guys or girls yet?" "Really? I thought the news said you would be heterosexual." I didn't like the news reporting about my sexuality. Surely, there was a taste level in journalism that needed lifting. "I most probably will be, like 99% sure. It's just I don't have any sexual urges at the moment." "Man, it must feel so weird. You're like a eunuch, it must be weird to look at the world with no sexual desire. It's like never wanting food. You must be able to see everything in a total different way," Kev liked pontificating. "Not really, I just feel a little bit numb. No-one seems beautiful or sexy to me, at the moment." Kev asked, "So you haven't 'tapped out an SOS message on your hairy telegraph' yet?" I had to laugh at that one. "Where do you guys come up with these?" "We made them up while you were talking to Dot!" Glen smiled his big, goofy grin as if he was extremely proud of himself. "You've got a chance to see what life is like on the other side of the fence. You're a dude in girl's clothing. As soon as you get the urge you have to tell us which is better: guy or girl," Kev seemed very interested in answering the age-old question. The truth was I had paid more attention to how different my toes looked than my brand new vagina. I knew the basics, things come out of it and you were supposed to put things in it, but that was it. It was the crux of my problems, and I wasn't going to face it until I was ready. To me, my pussy seemed like the End Boss in a video game. "Kev, you'll know as soon as I do." "It's so weird, having a good friend turn into a smoking hottie!" Kev had crossed a line that no guy had done yet. Sure, all the women in my life had called me 'beautiful' and even some of the men confessed I was 'pretty' but those were generic terms with no sexual underpinnings. Kev had called me a 'smoking hottie'. Kev declaring that I was a 'smoking hottie' announced to the world he found me sexually attractive. That under the right circumstances Kev would like to 'fuck' me. Upon looking in the mirror I kinda knew that I was sexy but until some guy actually said it to me I was unsure. Kev had let the cat out of the bag. "A smoking hottie, huh?" I asked Kev. "Yeah. Let's be honest here. You've got big green eyes, a cute face, an adorable pixie style haircut, a trim body with long legs and a great big pair of tits! Your butt could be a little bigger but besides from that you truly are a smoking hottie." It was a little weird to be summed up in a list of body parts, but it wasn't a practice I was unaccustomed to. I had done it to numerous girls in my time. Good chest, needs to lose weight. Cute smile, but no ankles. Wish she had some boobs to go with that ass. So hot until she opens her mouth. Great body, Butta face. I was responsible for those thoughts as was every guy in the world. I was soon to be judged like that or assigned a number, or to have some guy mutter 'Fuck me!' under his breath. It was sort of exciting to know that I would be given a high score. It was unsure, back when I was male, what girls thought of me or if they thought of me at all. But going on previous knowledge, I knew that guys would be thinking about 'Gemma' and those thoughts would be front and centre in their mind whenever I would saunter past them. It felt exhilarating to be wanted. "So do you think I'm a smoking hottie, Glen?" I asked him outright. "Gemma, I don't think about my friends like that. I mean you are very pretty and all, it's just hard to stick you into my sexual thoughts box when you've been my best friend since we've been eight," Glen seemed flustered, and rightly so. It was a tricky question to answer. It didn't stop me from teasing him, which was my duty as his best friend. "Ha ha! You find me sexy! You find me sexy!" I sang while undulating my body and letting my hands caress it like an under-trained stripper. Glen returned fire, "Just wait until you turn, girly. You'll be begging for a piece of Glen! All the bitches do!" He flexed his paltry muscles. I stifled a laugh. Kev pulled his shirtsleeve up, "Those are piss weak! Now these are muscles!" Kev flexed and a bulging bicep muscle appeared. "Impressed, Gemma?" Kev had a thing of being too competitive and being able to wreck a jovial moment. He knew he had a good body. Glen got serious all of a sudden, "But I think you will have to be careful because a lot of guys will find you sexy and you don't know what guys will do." Glen brought up a concern I hadn't thought about yet. Rape. As a guy, all you really had to fear was prison rape and a lot of mistakes had to have been made before that was a real fear. The only mistake a girl had to make to be raped was to walk down the wrong street at night. This smaller, skinnier body already felt vulnerable but I wasn't sure I could walk around town with the added threat of rape looming over me. The best thing to do was to push the thoughts into the back of my mind and try and forget about them. "I might go speak with Dot," I said, standing up, "Don't watch my bum as a leave, thank you very much assembled perverts." As I walked away I shielded my arse with my hands. Dot and Mads were in the lounge room just watching some crappy movie on TV when I came in. Silently, I sat down and joined them. None of us said a word as we watched the bad film with a supposed vested interest. She wasn't going to apologize first, I reminded myself. "Look..." I started off, "I'm sorry. I said some things that weren't true back there." "Don't worry about it," she said without breaking gaze from the TV. It wasn't a forgiving 'Don't worry about it', it was more a 'let's ignore this problem together' deal. "No, you're my best friend, Dot. See?" I opened her stupid locket that I was still wearing, "There a picture of us, being best friends. I may look a little different but I feel the exact same way about you." To show her this, I hugged her over-zealously. "Ow!" she laughed, "You're smothering me with your boobs!" "Say you forgive me!" I said, hugging her tighter. "Let go of me! You Salma Hayeck wannabe!" "Say it!" "I forgive you, Lara Croft!" "Promise?" "I promise, just free me from your booby trap, Baby Dolly Parton!" I relented and stopped the bear hug. "Good," she gasped, "I was running out of celebrities with big tits." "Pamela Anderson?" I suggested. "Thanks," she smiled, "I'll remember her for next time." "So this whole fight is over?" I asked. "Of course, it's a little weird that I have a girl for a best friend now. It's just going to take me awhile to get used to you being a bit bitchy sometimes." It wasn't the 'I'm sorry too' I was looking for, but for Dot it came close. It seemed that our friendship was patched once again. However, I was unsure how many more ruptures could be fixed with a simple patch. Dot really seemed to have a problem with me being a girl, even if she didn't want to admit it. It appeared that she didn't know how to have a female friend, what she was calling 'bitchy' behaviour by me would have been labelled 'cracking the sads' if I was a guy, something that would have never upset her. If I was going to keep this very important friendship going, I was going to have to work hard at it. Kev, Glen and I all arranged to go to the beach tomorrow at my house. Although I was looking forward to swimming, I was a little scared of the problems I was going to face. But it was a challenge I needed to face eventually. I said goodbye to everyone as Mum's car arrived to pick me up. My first night out with friends wasn't quite a success but like everyone else, I was coping. "I need some swimming togs," I half mumbled/half announced at the breakfast table the next morning. "What was that?" asked Mum as she buttered her toast. I told her about my beach plans with my mates in the afternoon. "That sounds like a great day out." "I guess so." "Perhaps you and Nicky can go shopping for bathers this morning." Swimsuit shopping with my sister? My brain would explode if I tried to think of a more embarrassing activity. "Is that cool with you, Nicky?" Mum called down the hall, before I could realize what she was doing. "What's that?" screamed back my sister. "You want to take Gem shopping for bathers?" "Yeah, I'll just grab the gift vouchers!" Without being able to stop it, it had been arranged. Each bite of my jam on toast seemed a little bitterer now. Before I knew it, Nicole and I were walking into Sun, Ski and Surf, our local clothing shop for all things watersporty. It also stocked a lot of 'cool' clothes for teens, summery colours, fashionable brands, that sort of thing. When I wanted to impress Holly I would wear clothes bought from here. Nicole practically marched to the swimsuit area. I wasn't as excited as she was. This must have been a dream for her, her own brand new little sister, her very own to dress however she wanted. And from the looks of it she wanted to show me off. She held up a revealing one. "No," I answered, quickly, "I want just a plain one-piece." I said it quietly too as we were drawing glances from everyone in the shop. They all were amazed to see 'The Gemma Taylor' in person. They whispered things to each other and messaged people on their mobile phones. I felt like the guest of honour at a funeral, with everyone talking quietly about me but not to me at all. Nicole, however, was completely oblivious to this. The whole situation made me uncomfortable and I wondered if going out in public would ever feel normal again. "We'll get you a boring one-piece, but we'll get you something cuter too," was Nicole's mission statement, "for when you get more comfortable in your skin." I sighed, Nicole was notoriously stubborn, so there was no chance of me getting my way in this one. The whispering crowd seemed to be tightly closing in on me, judging me, staring at me. "Nicole," I whispered, "I'm just going to go into the change room. Can you pick some stuff for me and just hand me it there?" "Why?" "These people are staring at me." "Oh, go on then." The polite but obtrusive glances followed me into the changed room, where no one could see me. I breathed a deep sigh of relief. I was free, free of the hushed gossip and the sideways glances. It was a nice spacious change room with a chair and a large mirror. I think it was the first time I saw myself in a full-length mirror. Despite my minimal efforts, I still looked pretty cute today - wearing a short-sleeved flannel shirt and a pair of jeans. The buttons on the shirt were slipped off and I became a cute little girl in a bra and a pair of jeans and then with some fiddling, a girl in a pair of jeans. That was the point when Nicole came in. "Whoa!" she said, announcing her entry. I quickly tried to cover myself, throwing my little hands up in front of my nipples. "Nicole!" I whined, "Haven't you heard of knocking?" "I didn't think you would already be undressed, Gemma," Nicole answered, "Why would you undress before I brought the clothes in?" "Because I want this over and done with!" She handed me a black swimsuit. "This is the most conservative one they have in your size." When boys go swimming they were allowed to wear shorts, and the body or sun conscious even wore T-shirts. Girls, on the other hand were expected to dress in only their swimsuits in the water, sure they could wear a (shudder) sarong or something on the beach, when it came into going inside the water they only had a thin piece of material to conceal their body. Which was more than I had on now, I though as I removed my hand from a breast to hold on to the swimsuit. Blood heard the call and came rushing to my cheeks. "Oh don't be so shy, Gem. It's not like I've never seen boobs before." Nicole was thrown out while I went mano-e-mano with the swimsuit. First, off came the jeans, spooling onto the floor, leaving a girl naked bar her little boy-leg panties. I liked these boy-leg panties, they were cut like a boy pair of undies, except there was more room in the seat and less room in the crotch but other than that they were very 'familiar'. It wasn't necessary to wriggle out of those as well, I thought, so I confronted the swimsuit. The fact of the matter was I was unsure if this was actually the most modest swimsuit in the entire shop, I had to take Nicole's word on it. Since I was safely secured inside this change room, Nicole could feed me all sorts of misinformation. I decided I just had to grin and bear it, as that was the best way to get out of here as fast as I can. I stepped into the back one-piece and slowly tugged the bathers up my body. It nestled against my crotch and worked up past my hips, waist until just under my breasts. One arm in and then the other arm through the armhole and then I squished my boobs in as I pulled the black stretchy material over them. I was now in the swimsuit. I fiddled with my boobs trying to get them to feel right as I stared at the image in the mirror. I was sexy, I couldn't help that and putting on a skin-tight swimming costumed only seemed to accentuate it. But at least I wasn't showing too much skin; the swimsuit was cut quite high at the top, showing barely any skin below my shoulder blades and none of my butt. The front was a different matter altogether, my thighs were revealed and quite a lot of my underwear along with them. And my boobs actually seemed bigger, somehow, restrained behind the fabric. The swimsuit was cut a little above halfway up my breasts and created a cleavage that I didn't have to lean over to expose. The brand 'Speedo' was embroidered in white above my right hip. To avoid freaking out I kept telling myself it could be a lot worse. "Nicole," I called. "Yeah?" "I'm done." Nicole opened the door and joined me inside the room. She eyed me up and down before passing her judgement. "Geez, I wish I was as skinny as you!" was her verdict, "You pull it off well." "It's a little tight in the top," I informed her, as did my overflowing breasts. "Well, to fit in the bottom it was going to have to be tight in the top," she remarked, "but it looks fine. We're going to have to stop off at Tania's though." Tania's was where Nicole worked as a hairdresser, it was a women's salon, a place far too filled with oestrogen, hair spray and gossip that I could barely stand running in to talk to Nicole for 5 minutes. "Why do we have to go to Tania's?" "To get your hairy legs and bikini line waxed." I looked down at my legs, sure there was some hair on them, but I wouldn't call them hairy. Hairy legs are what I had before, thick, dark hair protruding all over, even my feet. These were shapely legs with a few random strands of thin, downy, very fair hair sprinkled over them. OK, so my pussy region was a little more hirsute but that was because I wasn't going to shave myself clean down there, I couldn't even bring myself to touch anything down there. The solution came to me, "We don't need to do that. I'll just wear board shorts over the top of my bathers." "Gemma, you'll have to wax or shave your legs some time." She was probably right, I was a girl and thus had to do the basic things that a girl does just to fit in. I could avoid most of the extras, nobody was going to force me to wear a skirt or heels or suck a guy's cock but the truth was it was the middle of summer and I was still hiding my legs away in sweltering jeans. I was going to have to break out the shorts sometime soon and with the entire country staring at me. Not today though. I had taken too many steps towards trading in my former gender completely and my mind wasn't budging on the issue. "Please Nicole," I put on best begging little sister voice and face, "I don't want to shave my legs." "OK, fine! Wear some stupid shorts, be unfashionable, see what I care. I'm still going to buy you something cute to wear if you change your mind. And when you do, I can wax your legs at home." I didn't like Nicole use of the word 'when' - I thought 'if' would have been the better choice. However, Nicole was nice enough to run and get me a simple pair of board shorts. They were primarily white with a blue strip down each leg and they were long, to my knees. They looked good against the black of the swimsuit. "Happy?" "Yep." "Right, now it's my turn," Nicole said as she handed me another swimsuit. I grabbed it, or at least I thought I did. I only grabbed the top half, while the bottom half flitted to the floor. Nicole had picked a bikini for me, a tiny, little bikini. Trying it on would be a hassle but Nicole wouldn't leave me alone until I did. All I would have to do is wear it this once and never again. It was pink. Typical! I wriggled into the bottoms and tugged them up, according to the mirror they were cut quite high on my bum, and if I wasn't already wearing my boy-leg briefs I would be exposing a fair amount of cheek. I wiggled into the top as well, jostling my breasts into position. It was skimpy and snug at the same time. Yep, if I were a different type of girl this would be a perfect outfit. My tight little tummy was on display and the cleavage created could only be described as 'impressive'. Nicole would be happy. "See? Don't you like it better?" she asked me as she made me look at myself in the mirror. "You are such a little sexpot! You've got the best qualities from Mum and Dad. You don't have Mum's googly eyes or her big nose, like I do. You've got really cute features." "I'm so lucky," I said, with the sarcasm dripping from my voice. "You'll wake up one day and realize how lucky you are, Gem. You might hate being a pretty girl but being an ugly one would probably be worse." So, I was a pretty girl. I reminded myself that things could be worse and I walked onto the sand, following the boys. They excitedly flung their T-shirts onto the shore before splashing headlong into the sea. I was a little more timid, placing my towel carefully on the ground and slowly unbuttoning my flannel shirt. I placed it on the towel and began to slowly edge towards the inviting ocean. "Hurry up, Taylor!" Glen called out to me, his voice almost swallowed by the sea. I would have run, if I wasn't scared of looking like a Baywatch babe running across the beach, seductively bouncing. So instead, I quickly shuffled towards the water. The water felt absolutely freezing when my toes first touched it but I didn't run back, I ploughed on. I had been in this water so often I knew not be scared of its initial coldness, I knew that you would only make the problem worse by dwelling on the temperature. Usually the very worst thing about walking into chilly water was when a painfully cold wave would cheekily hit your testicles, making them turn and run up inside your body. At least that wasn't going to be a problem for me anymore. A wave did swell up and hit my crotch and despite the coldness, I was spared the crippling pain of immense and sudden ball shrinkage. Finally, an upside! If my pussy was apparently unfazed by the drop in temperature than my nipples more than made up for it, pricking up to tell everyone I was cold. They were like little lighthouses, alerting me that water was near. And when a rogue wave hit me fair in the chest, they stung a little bit. But that had to be the worst of it and that meant I was practically totally submerged. It was all downhill from here. I did a duck-dive under the water to get my head wet. The water wasn't that bad anymore, I had adjusted to it. I had beaten it. "G'day gentlemen," I said as I swum up to the boys. "Howdy," replied Glen. "I finally found an upside to this all becoming-a-girl thing," I left a pause, "No shrinkage!" "I was just telling Glen that I feel like what you must have mid- transformation," laughed Kev while he shivered a little bit, "I know I have genitals I just can't find them." It was great to have a swim again, although it felt different. I was clumsy in the water. It was like I was learning to swim again. I knew the basics but it felt different being in the weird shaped body. I wasn't as lean anymore, as hydro-dynamical. It was almost like having two floatation devices stuck to my chest that were always trying to get me to float to the top. The baggy board shorts weren't helping much either. We raced each other. Back in a time when I would also be fighting shrinkage I could usually beat Glen and occasionally I could beat Kev but today I lost it by miles. I'm not that much of a competitive type, so I wasn't too upset, plus I had a great excuse: I was only a 4-day-old racing against a 16 and 18-year-old. Swimming in the ocean is a fight against the coldness. You stay out as long as you can, without shivering. Living with two females all my life had taught me that women get cold easier than men, I'm not sure why. I was no different, about 40 minutes in the chills got to me and I said, "I'm going back now, lads." "I think I might join you," said Glen, which effectively ended Kev's swim too. The usual problem about getting out of the water was that it was cold getting out of the water too. It was cold getting in, staying in too long and then you were slapped with another bout of cold by the breeze hitting your wet body. Today, the sea breeze was minimal and the sun was beating down on us, so as the water level receded I didn't feel very cool. My nipples disagreed with me but I wasn't listening to them anymore. The boys clattered out of the ocean like they were thrown out running past me and hurtling towards their towels. I wanted to experience their carefree abandon too, so I broke out into a run. It was only a few strides in when I understood Annette's long talk about sports bras, properly. While I ran, my boobs desperately tried to keep up with my body but they kept getting it wrong. When I was up, my boobs were down and when I was down my boobs were high on my chest, they just couldn't get it right. I slowed down and the problem, while not over, was a whole lot less chaotic. I bounced over to the guys. "That felt great!" I breathlessly gushed. "The water is such an awesome stress reliever," agreed Kev, his very muscular body glistening in the afternoon sun. It was weird looking at his body, knowing that soon that would look very attractive to me. Glen wasn't quite that buff, in fact he had a little bit of a belly which he appeared to be sucking in. Was he worried that I was judging him on his looks? I hoped he wasn't because there was nothing more destructive in a friendship than sexual tension. The fact of the matter was, even if I was attracted to boys, I doubted that I would have a boyfriend, I doubted even more that it would be Glen. It would be too weird because we were too good friends. As a guy, I hated to hear that from girls but it was true. Glen and I had been friends since we were eight and one of us spontaneously changing gender is not enough to change the fact I saw him as my brother. I probably wouldn't date Kev either but that was for other reasons. "You're really rocking that swimsuit, Gemma!" he told me as we dried ourselves. "Huh?" was all I could say to him. Glen also gave him a stare that seemed to say, "Dude, what the hell are you saying?" Despite the confused looks, Kev rambled on oblivious, "It's cool that you used to be a guy so that I can say these things to you, you know? I don't just have to bottle up all these thoughts, which would only make me hornier. To think you used to be Michael Taylor a week ago but now you are sexy, little Gemma Taylor. That just blows my mind!" Girls used to always tell me how sleazy he was but that didn't bother me. He was my friend, I was his and we were both guys so his sleaziness was a flaw I rarely had to see. It was only when we were around girls that he became Sleazy Kev. Now that I had become a girl his lecherous nature was creeping in. "Your boob-to-waist ratio is so perfect," Kev said looking me up and down, "What size are they, double D?" "Just a single D." I have no idea why I told him that! "They probably seem so big because your waist is so small. And because you're shortish. And because they are mega perky. They just look so big and inviting. But not too big. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing. And you've got just enough. You looked so fucking hot when you were running towards us!" When did he become the expert on breasts? I was getting fairly sick of talking about my boobs, they seemed to be the only thing people wanted to talk about. I had been through an experience that less than 100 people in the world had been through and all anyone wants to talk about is the apparent perkiness of my mammary glands. I wandered if all large- chested women had to endure this torment. Kev must have noticed that I was tired of all this boob talk and moved on. "I mean, you're pretty well designed. It's as if the nanobots had sexiness in mind. I mean, just watching you dry yourself is an alluring activity." Was he serious? Glen looked at me as if to say, "Do you want me to kill this nut job and leave his body in a shallow bush grave for you?" Glen didn't say a lot so I was adept at reading his eyes. Sure, I used to be a guy and we used to talk about girls quite graphically but since my forcible change in perspective this type of conversation was best left as a memory of how I used to be. Although, I did do a lot of proclaiming that I was going to be the very same person as before just in a different shaped box, so maybe I should see Kev's warblings as an attempt to reach out to me and talk the way we used to about girls. Kev continued as we packed up our stuff, "You're probably going to be one of the hottest girls at school. Up there with Leanne Ward-McGregor, Alanna Sturt and Alison what's-her-name." "Sorokin," Glen chimed in with the last name of the girl he had a crush on. "That's it," Kev bundled his shirt and towel into a ball, "You are that hot! I know since you don't have any sexual drive you probably didn't know that." "Enough people have been saying it that I got the idea." "How do you feel about it?" I thought I would regurgitate some of my sister's advice, "I guess it's better than being ugly." I retold the story about Kev and his leering ways to Dot on the phone that evening. "He's such a perv. He always tells me how 'unclassically' beautiful I am when it's just us two." Kev had often pined to me about wanting Dot's affection and how she would make a wonderful girlfriend. I was doubtful of that. "He's gross but harmless," Dot summarized him, "So how was the beach?" "Really good. You should have come." "You know I can't swim, dildo!" 'Dildo' had always been one of Dot's favourite terms of scorn. It was true, despite living two kilometres from the beach Dot couldn't swim. For the entire seven years of primary school whenever we had school swimming lessons, Dot would sit them out. She blamed it on an ear- infection she had as a baby but I think she was scared of the water. "How did the swimsuit go?" "It was like squeezing two watermelons into a rubber glove," I joked. "Nice imagery, Mick! I mean Gemma. Wow, I actually called you by the wrong name. Sorry dude" "Don't be. I'm glad someone did." "So, will you be joining us at Marrnag College tomorrow, ready for a General Maths double in the morning?" "Nope, not going to school until at least Wednesday. Got a full medical exam on Tuesday before Dr. Chisholm can ship off." "Full medical exam? You mean they're going in deep?" I gulped, "Guess so." "It's gross and invasive but it doesn't last that long." "Sounds like the way you'd describe our night together." "Fuck you!" Dot laughed, "That's what I was going to say!" "Sorry, I beat you to it!" "So, what are you doing tomorrow then?" "Oh, you know, nothing much, just sitting back. Anna Coren may stop by to interview me," I said as nonchalantly as I could. "Oh shit! I totally forgot about your big interview." "Not just my interview." "What you talking 'bout, Willis??????" "My publicist just called and said that Channel 7 wants to interview two of my friends tomorrow too. So, I thought I'd extend my offer to you." "And Glen?" "Yep." "Well, good news for you, Taylor. He's here, I'm helping him do his Maths homework. Does that mean we get out of school?" "Oh yeah." "Rock on, Daddy-O! Let me just ask Mum if it's OK. I'll hand you over to Mr. Lumsden." There was some scuffling and mumbling as Dot handed the phone over to Glen. "Hi Glen," I said. "Hey Gemma," he replied, "Are we really going to be on TV?" "Maybe, I mean I am going to be. You may be cut for time." "But it's going to be an hour long special. Surely there's going to be some time for me?" Despite being a quiet guy, Glen liked his time in the spotlight. I think that's why he was always so quiet, he was always trying to come up with the perfect thing to say. "I don't know. I am a very good story teller." "True, true. Enjoy the swim today?" "Yeah, was fun," I replied, "Next time let's leave Sleazy Kev out of the loop and go by ourselves though." "That would be awesome because I think you are so fuckin' hot and I want to kiss you so fuckin' bad!" said Glen, or at least Dot doing a horrendous Glen impression. I heard Glen say "Get fucked!" to Dot. "You suck," I told her. "I'm in," she said, changing the subject. "OK, ace! My house, 10am." "Deal! See ya, Hootie!" And before I could finish asking her why she called me Hootie she hung up. She was a weird one. Glen messaged me about 10 minutes later telling me he was in as well. That night I lay in bed, watching my chest rise and fall with each breath. Out of pure curiosity I had decided to sleep in the nude. It was a hot night and clothes seemed to be more a hassle than anything and so nothing but a thing sheet covered me from the rest of the world. And yet I felt safe. After days and days of things not going my way I felt I could stick that day in 'I won' column. Granted it was my easiest day for a while. No doctors, no fights, no Annette (she took the day off with my approval), no paparazzi, no more transforming. Hopefully I could get a few more wins and then I might actually start feeling good for a change. I think the swim made all the difference. CHAPTER 12 Today was different. I woke with a start, for a start. This was the first day all week I had used my alarm clock. So far 'Gemma' had no reason to wake up early, she had a nice and easy life. But not today. Today was a big working day. Today was the filming of my exclusive interview with Channel 7. Today was the day I earned my $2.25 million paycheque. But as I shot up in bed, startled by the alarm clock, I couldn't remember that. All I seemed to know was what I see: it was morning, I was naked and I was still a girl. The last thought I always have before going to sleep it is, 'Maybe tomorrow I will be awake from this dream'. And every morning there are a few seconds where I slowly realise that I am still 'dreaming', that I still have a vagina and that the world is still a very strange place. The thoughts began to come back to me as I blearily stumbled out of bed. Sleeping naked comes with a problem, do I make a naked ru