A Typical Woman free porn video

A TYPICAL WOMAN! By Sylvia Who? 1. A TYPICAL WOMAN! "CLANG": For the fifth time in the past ten minutes my high heel missed the clutch as I steered my wife's Jaguar into our secluded drive and for a moment was unnerved by the jarring 'crunch' of gears. - "Typical woman" I tittered to myself as I slid the car to a noisy halt on the gravel outside the front door and thankfully switched off the engine at the end of my ordeal, trying to control the rising tide of elation at having successfully completed my self-imposed mission - 'To go where no man had gone before' bellowed Captain Kirk's voice-over in my brain as I recalled driving into town, parking my car in the undergound car park, and, in fearful anticipation, after a few trembling false starts , eventually quitting the car with such undue haste, nearly tearing off my skirt, the hem of which was still firmly caught in the car door before hurrying off and openly window shopping in Orchard mall for over two hours, before self-consciously trotting over to the 'Ladies' barely half an hour ago, and actually going inside to spend a penny. I never actually made it to the inner sanctum since a frantic rummage through my purse failed to produce a suitable coin and I certainly had no intention of begging a favour of the middle-aged woman busily fixing her make-up. But my only heart-stopping moment occured as I made my way back towards the car and my appearance was visually challenged by two little girls who promptly turned and fled calling out for their Mummies, before they were hurried away, - thus undermining my confidence in my abilities with my make-up box and having made me realise, all-be-it briefly, what a ridiculous clown I really was. But the worst was over now, and despite the obvious stares of disbelief and the murmurings of contempt and censure, I hadn't been arrested, been laughed at or spat at, or been subjected to any verbal abuse, apart from some hoots of derision from some passing lads and ladettes, even though it was the first, and probably the last time I would ever dare venture out fully dressed as a woman. I had checked on my mobile, and I had been assured by my wife Annette that there was still another two hours to go before she and Janet, her best friend, together with the kids, returned from their well-publicised Thursday outing to London during a day off school, giving me ample time to go and change into something completely different, and I wasn't going to miss the opportunity for some more private theatricals, - especially since today was my thirtieth-something birthday, and this had been a trip I had been anticipating and planning for months. Annette had provided the obligatory birthday card which now resided together with the card from my girls and all my other friends and relatives on our mantle-shelf, but from past experience, apart from a bottle of bubbly, and a cake to be served with dinner this evening, supplemented by a small present from the wife and kids, that would be the total extent of our celebrations, so I had planned a more intimate celebration of my own! As I relaxed in the car, my eyes followed the line of my wife's scarlet winter coat decorated with fake fur round the collar, cuffs and hem, matched by big, black, burnished buttons, down past the hem of her flared black skirt to my nylon clad knees as they trembled slightly in response to my reflexes, thus allowing my stockings to rub sensuously against each other bringing a rush of blood to parts that no other woman had touched - except for my darling wife that is, - not that there had been much of that sort of hanky-panky recently, we were always either too busy, too tired, or too late! I was fortunate that every item of Annette's wardrobe fitted me almost perfectly - despite my narrower hips, even down to wearing the same sized ladies shoes as she does, - I was one hellava lucky guy! But in the half-light my reverie was disturbed by a very slight movement of one of the net curtains in the lounge, but with such a bitterly cold wind testing our ill-fitting windows, I mentally put it down to just that. So before quitting my car I checked my reflection in my rear view mirror and was distressed to find my five o'clock shadow was now clearly visible through my make-up, not that I could do much about it, so taking my handbag from the luggage-shelf, I unfastened the safety-belt, and keeping my knees firmly together, opened the car door, then swinging my legs round, - carefully - but firmly, - placed my high-heels on the surface of the drive, before testing their weight on the frost-covered ground. A bitter gust fairly took my breath away as the car door slammed shut prompting me to grip the fur collar tightly around my throat with one hand and restrain my wildly flapping skirts with the other as I scuttled as quickly as I dared towards the front door, startled and momentarily blinded as my progress was suddenly spotlighted in the powerful beam of our security light. In the shelter of the porch it was still extremely cold so I was loath to remove my black kid gloves and kept them on whilst fumbling awkwardly in my handbag amongst purse, cell-phone, makeup bag, tampax, lace hankies, and the other accumulated feminine detrius for my latch-keys. After what seemed an age I eventually turned the key in the massive oak door, which remained obstinately shut, despite three or four tries, and I began to feel a certain unease as the thought of an unwelcome visit from burglars crossed my mind. I stepped back from the door and with some difficulty slowly crouched down on my haunches in my tight 'axfords' corset and black patent leather high-heels, and prising the letter-box open with my gloved hand, peered through the opening into the darkened hall.. I recoiled from the cold blast of reality as my eyes focussed on a familiar pair of eyes staring intently back at me from within."George! - we know it's you, where have you been - and what's that filthy muck plastered all over your face?" Annette's strident tones left me in no doubt as to her current mood and I staggered to a more or less upright position in shoes which no longer felt comfortable, a bra that suddenly became unbearably tight, and flimsy nylon underpinnings which my bright red nether regions revealed to be totally inadequate for the prevailing weather conditions. "Dearest, - let me in, its freezing out here." The plaintive, involuntary soprano soto voice, although in keeping with my pretty clothes, was hardly my natural one, but the higher register tones and inflections I had mastered with years of practice, which for some reason I now seemed unable to suppress as I listened to Janet and Annette talking in undertones on the far side of the door, as I shivered with cold, fright and pleasure in equal measure at the situation I now found myself in. "We are not going to let you in George, you have been deceiving me, going off out in my clothes indeed! -so Janet and I are going to teach you a lesson which will last with you for the rest of your life." Oops! - Annette's determined voice through the door left me in little doubt she mean't what she said, and what-is-more Annette's best friend was in on the act as well! - but I again pleaded to be let in. "And if you don't let me in I will break down the door - after all, it is my birthday!" My dulcet, - though tearful tones lacked the commanding authority my normal voice possessed as the two girls laughed uproariously at such an empty threat. "You can try if you like, birthday boy, but we will dial security and have you forcibly evicted from the premises - I know my rights under such circumstances!" - "But Darling, what shall I do? - I haven't any money, only a few pence in my purse" I pleaded helplessly at my plight, totally at a loss as to what to do next, trapped as I was wearing nothing other than my wife's clothes and with nowhere to go and nowhere to hide, but it was Janet who turned up the heat! "Dressed like that Dearie, perhaps you can make a few pennies selling your favours to some guy? - that should warm you up! - A sort of rectum-pence for being such a silly girl! - and afterwards, if you were my husband I would put you across my knee, pull down those pretty panties of yours and spank your bare botty for doing such a thing!" She taunted me unmercifully as tears welled in my eyes, and I stamped my foot in anger and frustration as I squealed "Let me in!", and the stiletto heel promptly snapped off, leaving me now balanced on only one high heel and more uncomfortable than ever. "Dear, the heel of my shoe has broken off now, - pl--ease let me in!" On hearing this piece of news there was nothing I could do but endure the raucous laughter coming through the door, and just take the inevitable response like a man - "Serves you right for behaving like a spoilt little girl!" But Annette did try to offer some hope as she continued, - "Well Sweetie-pie, as a special birthday treat, you can go and spend the night in an hotel." This was not the way I had intended as I wailed, -"But I told you I haven't any money." - "Are you quite sure Georgy boy? Turn out your pockets! - Oh but I forgot, without your trousers you haven't any!" Janet's response had the two girls giggling uproariously as another cold blast whipped through the porch setting my teeth a-chattering while I tried to restrain my skirt and coat-tails from flapping in the wind as I teetered about awkwardly on my damaged high heels. "I will go and pack you an overnight bag, and I will ring up and book you a room so you can go and stay overnight at the Best Western." With a trace of compassion in her voice she had relented slightly and I heard her retreat down the corridor and upstairs to our bedroom while Janet's curiosity got the better of her and she peered through the letter box for a preview of what I was wearing! - I was having none of it as I flattened myself against the wall so as not to be seen highlighted in the glare of the security light, but I couldn't ignore the stream of questions from my arch-enemy. "Why do you do it George? - after all you are supposed to be a happily married man, so I was staggered when Annette first told me she had found you out - dressing in her clothes indeed, - and it hasn't just started recently, has it? - We know you have been doing it for ages!" I twiddled with the buttons on my coat as I stood, shivering on the porch with fear, cold and apprehension and failing to find words to answer a series of awkward questions from Annette's best friend, and all the time wondering where they had left our three young girls as well as Janet's two teenaged daughters, and whether or not they knew of my current predicament and what Janet would tell her husband and all our friends - assuming of course she hadn't already done so! But eventually my wife returned and the bolts were drawn while the chain on the door was loosened enough to permit Annette's vanity case and another pair of court shoes to be passed through the opening. "But - there can't be many clothes in there Dear?" I pleaded as I stared in astonishment at the tiny case. "That's all you need for a one night stand in an hotel DOLL.." She drawled tantalisingly "We will let you in at nine o'clock sharp tomorrow, so don't be late! - and by the way, the children are staying overnight at Mother's." - and with that bombshell the door was shut firmly in my face as the two continued hooting ironically at my predicament. I stood indecisively for a moment and then resignedly kicked my feet out of the useless pair of heels before cockling my feet into the fresh pair and quitting the porch to scuttle back to the car where I vainly tried to think through a practical solution to my current problem, - where best to go in order to change into the clothes contained in Annette's overnight case without being seen, - the most obvious choice being the nearest toilet with disabled facilities, which was situated back at the Orchard shopping mall. But my idea was soon scotched, because when I threw back the lid and the case gave up its secrets, I was more perplexed than ever! Apart from my shaving kit, the contents were more appropriate to a blushing bride as I pulled out and lovingly fondled the pink nylon nightdress and negligee set, the pink furry mules with cute satin bows, a pair of strappy pink satin spikes to go with Annette's slinky shocking-pink evening dress, and a complete change of brand new feminine satin underwear with the tags still attached, to which was pinned a note- 'TO GEORGINA, - A UNIQUE BIRTHDAY PRESSY FOR A UNIQUE GIRL, ENJOY YOUR OUTING, SEE YOU LATER, CUDDLES, ANNETTE!' and I reddened with embarassment when I caught sight of the two conspirators as they watched my antics with undisguised amusement from the lounge window, which prompted me to start the car and drive away as quickly as possible, but since I was in a complete daze I had no idea of what I should do or where I could go. 2. MORE PAIN MORE GAIN! Fortunately it was pitch black as I turned the car towards town and since the Best Western car park was almost full I eventually switched off the motor some distance from the main reception area, as I steeled myself to run the gauntlet of the fierce wind and the keen-eyed receptionist who would probably spot anything untoward. I grabbed my handbag and overnight case, then having locked the car, with my skirts flapping madly once more in the freezing wind made an undignified dash for the hotel foyer. Somewhat out of breath I squeezed past a scrum of mostly women conference delegates chatting and milling about inside the entrance proudly displaying their lapel badges upon their dresses. Presenting myself at the reception desk I was greeted by a questioning smile of welcome as I unceremoniously dumped my vanity case and handbag upon the desk in front of the woman receptionist, before stepping away from the desk, and bending forward to try to relieve the stitch in the pit of my stomach following my exertions in my high heels and billowing skirts - which prompted her to raise her eyebrows at my uncouth behaviour. "Yes madam, - what can I do for you?" I could feel the contempt in her thinly disguised enquiry as her eyes freely roamed from the curly brown wig adorning my head, down past my heaving bosom to my thinly protected, nylon clad knees and ankles as they trembled uncontrollably from the effects of the intense cold. "Umm - I wish to stay the night? - I believe my wi - umm - my friend may have telephoned to book? - Umm - a Mrs. Jones?" My voice cracked slightly, knowing full well how easily I had been 'read'. "Yes Madam, your 'friend' Annette did ring, so we were expecting you, perhaps you would kindly sign the register?" In response to her officious reply, my hand trembled as I took the pen and shakily signed the register as Mrs. Anne Jones. "You are in Suite 505, fifth floor, - dinner is at eight precisely." Without further ado she handed me the key, rang the bell, and the porter instantly appeared, picked up my vanity case and escorted me over towards the lift as she fired off her final comment. "Enjoy the rest of your birthday - Georgina!" As I stepped into the lift I glanced back in response to her mocking remark as she let her guard drop and smiled triumphantly from behind her desk. 'Some of Janet's work I should say' - I thought to myself as the lift trundled up to the fifth floor, - 'Yes it was definitely Janet! - She was seven years my wife's senior had always been the fly in the ointment and a bad influence as far as I was concerned, what with two previous husbands and a son born out of wedlock when she was fifteen! - But on the plus side she was generous to a tee, while Ray, her illegitimate son used to freely undertake baby sitting duties for us for several years before she remarried for the third time, starting a new family and moving far enough away not to bother us that often, so she wasn't all bad news!' Having been deposited in my room by the porter, I opened my handbag, took out my purse and gave him my last pound coin which didn't please him that much, and having firmly bolted the door, made a dash for the bathroom and sat down for a tinkle, before stripping off in feverish haste to try on my new satin undies and the nighty and negligee set Annette had kindly provided me with. Yes - it was a lovely birthday present, - and totally unexpected, since I had assumed she had entirely forgotten the significance of my birthday, so having arrayed myself in such lavishly lacy satin lingerie I stood looking at the resultant effect in the full length mirrors - cupping my beautiful budding breasts in my hands, but a scene totally spoilt by the caked on war-paint which failed to conceal my six o'clock shadow! So I turned away from the mirror in disgust and put on Annette's nighty and negligee over my bra, suspender-belt and matching french panties before watching the early evening television news as I sat pondering whether I could risk getting ready and going downstairs to dinner or just settle instead for room service when there was a sudden sharp tap at the door. Startled by such an intrusion I rose and trotted across the room in my furry mules to whisper through the door, - "Wh-who is there?" - my startled enquiry was answered by a commanding voice "It's your beautician Mrs. Jones - I am Miss Harper, and here for your make-over appointment." - My mind was now in a whirr - "B-But I never booked you?" My hesitant reply was greeted by a cool response from the other side of the door. - "No Madam! - but your wife did!" - 'Oops! - What to do now?' - In a daze my hand reached for the door catch and I peered through the chink in the door at the gorgeous young blonde bombshell who had been despatched to superintend my make-over. But the young lady wasn't standing on ceremony as she pushed the door open with her case, stepped into the room, and as I backed away closed the door firmly behind her as she removed and handed me her coat, walked briskly over to the dressing table to empty the tools of her trade upon the surface, and finally slipped her arms into a pretty cotton overall before turning her attention once more to her embarrassed client. "Your wife has ordered me to give you the full treatment Mrs. Jones, - waxing, manicure and pedicure, wig restyling, facial, ear-piercing and full make-up ready for your dinner date this evening, so please sit here Madam and I will begin." - "But I am not Mrs. Jones - I am not having a makeover - I have no dinner date! - and I am a man!" She smiled sweetly at my riposte as I truculently threw her coat upon the bed, - "Well! be that as it may Georgina, you signed the register downstairs as Mrs. Anne Jones, suite 505, and this is part of your wife's birthday present to you, so she will be mightily offended if you fail to go through with it, and in any case she has already paid the bill - furthermore - you are far from being my first male client caught hiding his candle under a bushel, and you certainly won't be my last, so please sit down on this chair, relax and enjoy being pampered as if you were a real woman, - just for this once in your life!" Sheepishly I did as I was told as she beckoned once again for me to be seated at the dressing table while she cupped my chin in her hand and studied my features full-face and profile, before removing my wig and replacing it with a pink bath cap and placing a flowered cotton pinafore around my neck. "Who advised you to put this disgusting muck on your face?" I was too embarrassed to answer as she tut-tutted and began to remove the thick layer of grease paint with a skin cleanser while a small electrical container she had plugged into the wall socket began to bubble merrily away. "Is this a mud facial?" I enquired holding my head back as she used a spatula to coat the warm sticky liquid from the container above and below my lip-lines, over my cheeks, chin and neck, even pushing some into the base of my nasal passages. "No Georgina! - This is a beeswax facial - slightly different as you will soon see! - now bite on this!" She slipped a short baton of rubber between my teeth, then placed a round cotton cleansing pad over each of my eyes. The next moment I was subjected to the most excrutiating pain I had ever experienced in my life as she began to rip the wax from off my face, but I couldn't cry out with a rubber gag in my mouth as with tears pouring from my eyes, I tried to control the pain and my now inflamed temper by gripping the arms of the chair in my hands. She saved the best until last as she ripped away the hairs in my nasal passages before removing the pads and the rubber gag. Through curtains of tears I could now see my scarlet face as reflected in the mirror while my body heaved in shock and disbelief at the torture I had just been forced to endure at the hands of such a slip of a girl! "There, - that wasn't too bad was it? - no gain without pain and you won't need to shave for at least a fortnight! - You might even be tempted to try it again, - it hardly hurts at all once you get used to it, and it's much much cheaper than electrolysis." Meekly I nodded my head determined to prove to her what a macho man I was, and with the tips of my fingers I gingerly inspected the raw piece of meat where my face had once been, - but she hadn't finished yet as I was ordered to strip down to bra and panties, thus allowing her access to wax my arms and the under-arm bushes which was a much less painful ordeal, although she heaved a sigh of relief commenting favourably at my total lack of bodily hair. "Now go to the bathroom and take off those french knicks of yours, - I suppose you know how to tuck? - so tuck yourself in and put this on." Dumbly I nodded my head at her matter-of-fact remark as she handed me a lacy thong and I returned from the bathroom with a nice smooth curve between my thighs, and her eyes registered her admiration as she whistled between her teeth - "Wow girl! Lose that fuzz from your lovely legs and a two piece will definitely be next on your wish list, so lie on your back on the bed Georgina and I will wax you up to your bikini line." - My groans at the prospect of further torture were ignored, while I was pleasantly surprised how mild the effects of the subsequent waxing proved to be, but when I slipped my suspender-belt and panties back over my thong, and unconsciously rubbed my legs sensuously together, I experienced the errogenous delights of hairless legs against cold satin - despite the severe restrictions of my pussy posing pouch as I felt I was about to explode between my legs! My ardour cooled when much to my dismay, she launched a frontal attack upon my eyebrows with tweezers, followed by a flanking attack upon my ears with a needle, and it was too late to protest once I contemplated the two shapely arches where my bushy eyebrows used to be and the two sleepers now residing in my earlobes! "That will make the boys sit up and pay attention!" - "Hmm., sure will Miss Harper," - I replied resignedly as I restored one of my errant bra-straps to its rightful place upon my left shoulder, - "Seeing I am a full time history teacher!" Her eyes seemed to light up with devilment as she giggled aloud at this piece of news, - "Well then honey! -Just thank your lucky stars you are not a manual worker or a truck driver like some of my male clients have been in the past - I was told horrendous stories by some wives of what their menfolk had to suffer at work following their glamour treatment at my hands, - so you will be getting off lightly! - and bye the bye, please call me Rachel from now on." With this news I lapsed into an uneasy silence as she gently rubbed some soothing salve into the perfectly smooth tenderised skin of my face before applying all her artistic skills to transforming my laughable caricature of a female fizzhog into a passable resemblence of a woman's face. The result was impressive, and I nearly swooned with delight, - gone were the thick, stick-on eyelashes and mascara weighing a ton, gone was the garish grease paint overscored with pink pan-stick through which there had been a constant trickle of droplets of sweat, gone too were the disgusting carmined cupid's bow lips, skills I had learn't from my trans-sexual friend on the net, - all to be replaced by a canvass upon which resided the features of a lady with genuine good looks topped by a beautiful auburn shoulder-length wig which sat comfortably upon my head with its gorgeous tresses gently caressing my bare shoulders! "I can't believe that is really me! You have done a truly beautiful job Rachel." I murmured, - "I am so impressed! - Thank you so much my dear! " But before she could reply our reverie was disturbed by a loud knock at the door. "Stay where you are Georgina, - I will answer it." Before I could make any sort of response to the summons, she had already trotted across the room and flung open the door and admitted a boy carrying a beautiful bouquet of red roses. "Flowers for Miss Georgina Jones?" I could sense the lad was staring saucily at my reflection in the mirror but I was still engrossed in my own thoughts as I muttered without really thinking -"Yes, - that is me," - and he had already stepped past Rachel, across the room, pencil and clipboard in hand. "Please sign for them here Miss!" - he demanded as I glanced up into the face of Tim Palmer, who was not only a pupil of mine at Madison High School, but also the son of Paul and Elaine Palmer, the florists, who we regularly partied with. Fortunately Tim's eye-balls were standing out of their sockets and completely ignoring my face but greedily scanning my pink satin and lace french panties and matching bra which were visible through my pink pegnoir! I shakily signed the delivery receipt, blissfully unaware that as I impetuously crossed and uncrossed my legs the front of my pegnoir seductively swished apart from just below my waist to reveal my panties, my shapely pink plucked thighs and legs, and my feet clad in sexy stiletto mules, a sight which had Tim quietly whistling in surprise, sighing in ecstacy, and coughing nervously at such an unexpected treat. "Had a good eyeful then young man!" Rachel brought me and twelve year old Tim down to earth with a bang as he placed the floral tribute on the dressing table and was frog-marched to the door by my beautician while still breaking his neck for a final look-see as the door was slammed behind him, and as she returned to the dressing table and lean't over to admire the single orchid corsage and to infuse the smell from the bouquet of roses, I asked Rachel the burning question, - "He is one of my boys at school, do you think he recognised me?" She gave an ironic laugh, - "Hardly likely my lovely, he was too busy studying your sexy tits and anticipating the main course to worry about the table decorations, even my makeovers cannot compete with THAT!" - Her barbed reply was steeped in feminine bitchiness and irony as she knelt down and briskly prepared my toenails for a nail job as I opened and read the card accompanying the roses before handing the card to Rachel and watched carefully as her expression changed to one of triumph as she read these words:- 'TO MY DARLING GEORGINA, WE HOPE YOU LOVE THE BIRTHDAY MAKEOVER YOU ARE GETTING FROM MY DEAREST FRIEND RACHEL, SEE YOU LATER PET, LOTS OF LOVE, ANNETTE AND THE GIRLS XXX -!' (P.S. Don't forget to wear your corsage!) I sensed this girl was privvy to everything that had happened to me so far today, - much of which must have been pre-planned, - even down to the hotel booking, since there was an in-house seminar in full swing and the place was packed to capacity - no way could Annette have booked a room this morning - and arranged for such a lovely looking creature to be pampering me in this way, she must have anticipated my little outing well in advance - so had she seen my diary? - or had someone delved into my computer or laptop? - if so, who had decyphered my 'lingerie' password? - and how long ago? - and how much had they found out? I felt an undercurrent of unease, - remembering the significance of Annette's pointed joke when I told her that Miss Kelly, the recent appointee as headmistress of Madison School, and locally a leading light in the women's movement, had declined to renew my teaching contract under the pretext of downsizing, leaving me on the scrap-heap in a months time even though she was employing an army of relief teachers to cover for staff shortages. "Don't worry dearest", - Annette said, - "Once you get used to the idea, I am sure you will make a good house- husband, or even a lovely housewife if Sonia Kelly and her ilke have their way!" Although her inference was right on target, it drew a muted denial as I played along with her little joke, - "Me? - a housewife? - Perish the thought! - I wouldn't know where to begin? But smart, sophisticated, woman-about-town maybe!" I gave a hollow laugh to mask my bald statement of intent - given half the chance, although thanks to Annette's highly prized part-time consultancy skills we would hardly be pressed for a bob or two so I never need work again. I would certainly not miss being stressed out in the oppressive atmosphere created by my class of uncontrollable girls and unruly boys who made my life as a school-teacher one of utter misery each and every day of the school term! Even Rachel seemed to be vaguely familiar, - possibly the daughter of one of Annette's business associates, although Janet was Annette's best friend so the message on the greetings card hardly made sense! Rachel also shared her forename with my long-time friend on the web, but the web-cam of her ugly mug mirrored those of the old style me, since the make-up advice she gave me was of doubtful provenance, - outdated and worthless, - although she had provided me with invaluable transitioning information based on her own experiences, including some quite frightening and grisly descriptions and photographs of what they had put her through, although what I could see of the finished results to her plumbing was quite impressive - and tempting, - not that I had ventured very far down that path. "Wake up Georgina, - all done!" Fifteen minutes later as Rachel spritzed me all over with 'Chanel number 5', I opened my eyes and glanced down in amazement at the elongated pink painted talons now residing in my lap before lifting my arms, turning my palms upwards and inwards towards my budding breasts while stretching my ten digits outwards in order to study in more detail the stunning effect as reflected in the mirror. "Make sure you look after them." she sniffed as she removed my makeup bib before going over to the wardrobe from where Annette's mini-dress was now beckoning while I continued to try to figure out how, with such devilish restraints, I could do up buttons, undo zip fasteners or bra- straps, or even roll up my nylon stockings and attach them to my satin suspender-belt without doing some serious damage to one thing or another, - especially when it came to tucking myself in, a procedure I had always found difficult at the best of times! 3. A PUBLIC OUTING. "Five to eight Georgina, - time to face your public." Before quitting the bathroom in response to Rachel's clarion call, I took one last look in the mirror at the delightful dark headed seductive creature in the pink silk chiffon cocktail dress, with just a hint of developing shape in the plunging neckline, modelling one of Annette's cultured pearl necklaces around her neck, a Tissot bracelet watch upon her wrist, and a black opal ring upon her finger, and since I now considered myself to be a typical woman, never completely satisfied with her appearance, I rued the lack of a decent pair of drop pearl earrings in place of the sleepers to match my necklace, but otherwise feeling confident, poised, and eager to step out and show off her new image to the world. Back in the bedroom I found Rachel busily repacking her oversized vanity case. So I trotted over and impulsively pecked her lightly on the cheek. "W - What did you do that for!" She had stepped back, touching at her cheek almost as though stung, her eyes blazing with anger at my indiscretion, but I didn't drop dead on the spot. "Umm. it was just a little thank you for what you have done to and for me." - "You can keep your kisses and everything else to yourself from now on Lady!" she snarled, - "I already have a girl-friend of my own, so I will have none of it! - I am no cheap easily laid piece of skirt as you will soon find out!" This sudden outburst was un-nerving to say the least as I plonked down on the bed, shocked to think that such a pretty girl should prefer a relationship with one of her own, while she hurriedly deposited the remainder of her tools of trade in an untidy heap in her case and removed her overall, leaving me unsure as to what to do next as the thought of lurid headlines in the tabloids crossed my mind. But as she began to stumble out an apology for her over-reaction, the beeping from her mobile summoned her attention so I sat instead and watched as her face softened and lit up with delight at the voice from the other end of the phone, "Yes darling, I have just finished, she looks really lovely, we are coming right now, bye precious - love you!" - "Are you ready for your date Miss Jones? - and don't forget your evening bag." I was still struck dumb by the super-efficient Miss Harper back in character as she pinned the corsage to my breast, picked up her case, handed me the door key, and sasshayed out of the hotel bedroom and over to the waiting lift with a more subdued Georgina in tow - contemplating as to who my blind date might be! - Perhaps it might be Rachel's father for all I knew? "In you go Georgina!" My reverie was rudely disturbed as Rachel seized me by the arm and shoved me into the noisy lift but as the doors closed and the chattering ceased I found myself tightly squeezed breast to breast with a quite attractive brunette who gave me a friendly smile to which I happily gave a sisterly response in kind. So finding myself imprisoned in a perfumed paradise with such a delightful creature who grew on me with every passing moment I made a mental note of the lapel badge 'Zara Baxter' pinned to her breast but soon averted my eyes in embarassed discomfort and guilt having been gently pushed from behind as I realised my attempts to suppress my arousal down below resulted in me rubbing my silk encased buttocks with a neighbour's rear as I unsuccessfully tried to suppress my animal instincts! After two further stops before reaching the ground floor, and now packed with women delegates, the lift finally arrived and since I had been squeezed further back than Rachel, while we waited to leave I broke the ice with my fellow traveller with an awkward "I must apologise if I caused you any distress just now Zara but I would hope to see you later?" Zara smiled "Think nothing of it umm?" - "Georgina Jones" - "Yes Georgina darling, I enjoyed every moment of our close encounter - perhaps we can do it again soon, since I am staying here until Sunday for signing sessions in the local book-shops". Her closing remark fairly took my breath away, as with a kiss on each cheek we made our fond farewells, and prepared to go our own ways. I was all of a tizz when I finally left the lift so I quickly trotted to the top of the stairs leading to the ground floor but Rachel was already descending the half dozen steps to the crowded foyer before I caught sight of her again. But horror of horrors, - amongst the crowd below I could also see the upturned faces of my three daughters, Florence, Fiona, and Flora, as they scanned the new arrivals for a familiar face, and although I was perfectly visible to all three, it was no surprise that they failed to recognise me. But they were soon excitedly smiling and waving at their quarry, and it was only when they pushed forward, surrounded and embraced Rachel that the penny began to drop! A hasty retreat was called for, as I tried to turn round on the landing, but the crush from behind as another lift expelled its female contents scotched that plan, and I was forced to continue down the stairs to the foyer and hope and pray that I could slip away undetected up the fire stairs. "Georgina? - over here!" I turned my back and tried to ignore Rachel's challenge from the midst of the crowd, but a familiar, shattering squeal made me glance nervously in the direction of the landing. "Dad!" Sure enough, I could see both Annette and her mother returning from checking in the coats gesticulating wildly in my direction as I realised Annette's sophisticated pink silk chiffon cocktail dress I was wearing was a dead give-away amongst all the smart tailored trouser suits and matronly floral prints as I prayed the ground would open and swallow me up as my cover seemed to be blown thanks to some suspicious glances in my direction! There seemed little point in running away now, so I halted just outside the entrance to the ballroom as gracefully as possible and waited for the others to catch me up. On impulse I decided to strike the first blow. "Hello Mother da-ahling! I didn't expect to see you here? What a lovely surprise?" As soon as she was in striking distance, I lean't forward and kissed her on both cheeks, - "I just LOVE the dress Mother, where did you get it?" Over her shoulder Annette was trying to suppress a laugh but her mother responded in kind. "Thank you Georgina, and happy birthday darling, and here is a little present for my new daughter-in- law, but where did you get such a beautiful lilting voice?" - I gulped with embarassment and swelled my budding breasts with pride as she handed me an elaborately decorated package tied up with a lovely pink satin ribbon. "Umm - I have been practising alone in the car, on the way to and from work, copying the timbre and feminine nuances of women announcers on the car radio." She beamed with pleasure at my answer. "Well I must say you look absolutely fabulous and I am pleased you are taking your lessons so seriously, and making such a worthy addition to the rest of us girls, and accepting our little surprise in such good heart, - it will make the rest of the evening so much easier for you my sweet, - and even my daughter's dress fits you perfectly, - very becoming, - Oh hello Rachel darling, - and hello girls." Mother's warm welcome as she pecked my erst-while beautician on the cheek, and what happened next fairly took my breath away as Annette and Rachel slipped into a loving embrace and kissed each other long and passionately on the lips putting my pathetic parental pecks to shame! But my three daughters didn't seem to notice, since they were too busy studying the strange fruit that was supposedly their father even if he was wearing a stunning dress as ten year old Flora in her long, floral pink dress, white tights and shiny black shoes giggled behind her hand, while my 12 year old, Fiona - all in yellow lace and white lace gloves just stood there in silent contemplation taking in the floor show and 14 year old Florence, in a pale blue satin gown commented wistfully amidst all the clamour , - "I think your painted nails are lovely Daddy, - I wish mine were like that!" I was taken aback by her remark, but managed to croak, " That was most kind of you to say so my Dear." But mother-in- law put her finger to her lips at Florence's indiscretion as she re- asserted her authority! "Well young ladies, I am quite hungry, so if we are all ready, lets go inside!" Taking me by the arm and patting my hand in reassurance, she led us into the ballroom where we were greeted by the maitre d'hotel and escorted to a large secluded table adjacent to the dance floor. I was stunned to find the rest of our party were already seated at the table, including the dreaded Janet with Tom Clarke, her husband, their twin 16 year old daughters, my father and my unmarried sister Clare, and several of our old friends and their wives, and sad to say, even the Palmers, as they all stood up to greet the new arrivals! "Here is our birthday girl darlings, don't you think Georgina's a dream? - Rachel has made a new woman out of her, - so different from the last time I had sight of her, and a vast improvement on poor old George!" Annette grabbed her mother's arm brought the house down as she tittered - "Yes mother, Rachel tells me she even scored with the prettiest women delegate in the lift so she is definitely coming on leaps and bounds and perhaps will soon be organising her own ladies coffee mornings or even girls sex-toy parties for the rest of us?" My reception at the table was mixed following mother's generous but thought provoking platitudes, followed up by Annette's pointed jibes, highly amusing to some but meaningless to others, as from their vacant expressions, some of the guests were hard pressed to put a name to my delectable face, minus the rimless glasses, until I made a half-choked attempt to call out "Hi Dad!" across the table, but my father felt an unscheduled trip to the mens' was called for - so the inevitable 'nudge- nudging', and 'wink-winking' that followed was understandable as explanations and excuses passed from mouth to mouth - so if they didn't know the state of play before, - they certainly knew now! Equally so was the abrupt departure from the scene of Chris Fellowes and Sandra, his dishy wife, as he made it abundantly clear he would soon be looking for a new golfing partner, not that he would ever find anyone else prepared to partner him, - we were the worse players in our club, and invitation games were few and far between, except if our opponents were short of a bob or two and which always cost us a fortune in side bets just to get a game. But I was totally mystified by the broad minded attitude of our other guests who didn't censure my appearance in the least - despite the initial difficulty of recognising me in my quaint attire, almost as though some had already been forwarned of what to expect from the guest of honour! "Hello Mummy, I am so glad you could come." Rachel took centre stage once more as she embraced Janet and her two daughters and pecked Tom on the cheek before seating herself gracefully at the dining table. "Now Georgina, come and sit here, between my Rachel and your sister Clare!" In a dream I followed Tom's instructions, while he gallantly steadied my chair as I sat my ten and a half stone as sedately as I dared in my flimsy mini-dress, next to eighteen stones of quivering flesh draped in a black bivouac while wishing the ground would open and swallow me up, but settled instead for burying my head in the wine list to try to make some sense of the proceedings by ordering up some alchoholic beverages and then unwrapping Mother's gift of a pale lemon leather handbag before tackling the selection of gifts kindly left in front of me upon the table by my guests. I decided to open the largest parcel first, believing that the more intimate objects would be in the smaller packets, and sure enough, accompanied by groans, out popped a gentleman's woollen dressing gown, courtesy of Dad! "Thanks Dad", I murmured thoughtfully. "Not much use to you now Georgina sweety, perhaps I can make you an offer" - chuckled Paul amidst applause, as I rummaged around and opened a package containing an electric epilator, from my darling wife. "Now that's more like it!" - chimed in Tom. But I was now wishing to get this part of the proceedings over as quickly as possible as I feverishly tore at the gift wraps to create a disconcerting mix of ladies and mens toiletries, socks or pantihose, a fur boa, a man's tie, and a selection of flimsy, lacy underwear ,including my last item, which was a girl's vibrator, from sister Clare of all people! "Show us if it works!" yelled Paul, and after the laughter died away and the guests began to choose from the menu I turned and thanked my sister for her present, and she soon made her opinion as to my current predicament perfectly clear. "Until a week ago I thought you had given up your silly dressing-up games little brother - especially with your family growing up fast, hardly setting a good example are you, and how about father? - He won't even acknowledge you!" Clare suddenly fired off her opening broadside sniffing with mock distaste as she made her apparent disapproval known. "No big sis, as you can see I haven't given up! - You bullied and schooled me too well for that to happen, and you can now see for yourself the staggering results of your tireless efforts have had on my behalf! - and I cannot wait for my sex-change thanks to you! - and in any case I can see you never gave up on the creamy cakes - so I am not the only one Daddy disapproves of!" My shot across her enormous bows proved I was as good a bitch as she was, but Clare was still dwelling on my stunning appearance! "Yes my sissy-boy brother, you were to be my first victim, but I have refined my teaching skills down the years, and since I am headmistress of an all- boys boarding school there are many more sissy-boys around who despite their initial tearfull protestations have, or will soon become become completely feminised - if you get my meaning!" She smiled and knowingly glanced in Rachel's direction as she delivered her parting shot before turning her piggy eyes away to make polite conversation with her other table companion thus giving me plenty to think about. Yes, my sister had impacted heavily upon my lifes adventures,as her stand-in on babysitting duties at Janet's house in place of Clare including meeting my future bride. Ray/Rachel was only an eight year old boy, as he niavely asked me if he had to go and dress as a little girl, evidently the same being demanded of him when-ever Clare was doing the babysitting. I assured him what he wore was up to him, and he promptly left the room, presenting himself half an hour later for inspection with the knock down comment- "Aunt Clare said you used to love wearing this dress!" I swung round and found the lucky little beggar looking as pretty as a picture wearing my favourite lilac satin Pageant Queen dress, complete with all the sissy trimmings which I was forced to wear by my sister on regular occasions when I was a small boy! Eventually Ray repaid his babysitting debt by caring for our three daughters when-ever we went out for the evening, and now here he was, sitting between Annette and me, and apparently resurrected as the divine looking Rachel. "Did Tim deliver your flowers Georgina? - Annette never told us they were for you?" - Elaine Palmer half sniggered from the far side of the table, so knowing her penchant for gossip, to have to come face to face with Tim, her son on Monday morning was a thought-provoking experience! Meanwhile, Rachel, who was seated next to me, was so busy making waves with Annette as they sat holding hands on the table and murmuring sweet nothings in each others' ear that I felt very much like a spare prat at a wedding, my fears for my immediate future being re-inforced by their carefree, uncensored and uncensured behaviour leaving me to empty a bottle of burgundy all by myself! After I had ordered from the menu, I felt the time had come for me to make my first incursion to the loo, but I was closely followed by Janet, who seemed to think a private word was necessary when she sidled up and took me me cosily by the arm as we sauntered down the corridor towards the 'ladies'. "I don't think you had seen my daughter Rachel since her changeover, had you Georgina? - She has certainly blossomed into a beautiful and talented girl from the insipid son I once had, thanks in part to Clare's babysitting games, - so it's hardly surprising that Annette has had the hots for her for a long time now, and I think Annette has already invited her to move in with you and your girls, - so no need to run her home from baby-sitting sessions the way you did with Ray in the past!" I gritted my teeth at her comments but replied, - "I s'pose their liaisons were taking place behind my back at her mothers, seeing Ray was lodging there after Father-in-law died?" She grinned wickedly, - "Yes, - but not recently, - while she was receiving her S.R.S. treatment, Annette was renting a flat for her and giving Rachel the moral boost she needed to face the world in her new role, and thanks to her computer skills she will be teaching I.T. at your school next term. But I see you appear to have acquired many feminine skills and nicities without needing much training - even without surgery you seem so natural - apart from the disgusting make-up you used to smear all over your face! That wicked daughter of mine really did make you look ridiculous with her on-line make-up lessons, and thanks to your computer and the floppy copies that were circulated for awhile, you were the funniest floor show on the small screen, - especially in your pink tutu and the exotic lingerie you used to wear as you pranced and danced in front of your web-cam at home, and I wet my panties on frequent occasions watching you! - But honey, now Rachel has started to turn you into a beautiful princess, I hope you will forgive her for playing such an underhand trick on you, and all of us for tuning in to watch your innocent fantasy games on the web in the past!" I was unable to hide my look of abject horror mirrored in the self satisfied expression on the face of my main adversary, until at last I was able to free myself from Janet's grasp as we reached the ladies lavatory, but this time there was no hesitation on my part as I pushed in front of Janet through the door, clip-clopped rapidly in my heels across the marble floor and into one of the stalls to ruminate and urinate . Having made sure the seat was dry I turned round to sit down while carefully hitching up my skirt out of reach of the toilet bowl, and placing my thumbs in the waistband, gently lowered my panties so as not to snag my delicate stockings with my manicured nails while moving my feet apart and slowly squatting to the sitting position thus allowing my lovingly crafted shaft to spring forth from its capacious hiding place cunningly concealed in the fiery furnace between my nylon clad thighs. I lean't forward on my perch to ensure my maidens water was flowing in the right direction and not over the rim of the loo, as my busy fingers roamed freely from the pink satin ribbon bows decorating the top of my elasticated suspenders, on over the bare flesh of my hairless expanse of thighs and beneath the matching ribbons on the front clasps of my suspender belt and down under the welts at the tops of my stockings before being quickly withdrawn to allow the elasticated ribbons to snap loudly back into place against my bare flesh, then enjoying the birds- eye view as my digits continued their playfull journey of discovery down the silky smooth nylon mesh in which my legs were encased to where my satin panties were now tautly suspended between my calves to prevent them dangling on the floor through the lacy legholes of which peeped my lovely stiletto heels as I contemplated events of the past few hours. What had been made clear to me now, in view of Janet's pointed remarks was having made such a complete arsehole of myself as I gallivanted about in my pretties in front of my web-cam in what I believed was merely a shared experience with the web-fiend Rachel, I had apparently made myself the laughing-stock of the whole family, and a cuckolded one at that! I also realised the refurbished Ray, who was an accomplished computer nerd, must have been privvy to all my personal transitioning information files when I was away, as I glanced down guiltily at my shapely figure, now aided by some hormone engineered enhancements. She had even secured employment at Madison school despite the so-called 'cut-backs' which were about to deprive me of my livelihood, so it seemed that because of the nefarious activities of Rachel, I might be in need of not only a new job and a new house, but also a new wife, - or possibly a new husband! It appeared I was no longer in control of my own destiny, since muggins was the only one who didn't seem to know that Rachel has been engaged in some sort of an adulterous or lesbian affair with my wife for goodness knows how long, possibly as a direct result of her transition - apparently with the connivance of 'Judas' Janet - and undoubtedly my mother-in-law from what she had said earlier. Even my daughters seemed to know judging by their laid back reaction to the cosy scenes in the foyer and the ballroom but had kept 'stumb' like all the others, so my forced submission and humiliation in front of family and friends upon my birthday of all days was complete in every respect except one, - I did have the makings of a beautiful body, - given time, inclination, and the where-with-all to finish the job properly, so in order to achieve that aim I would probably have to grovel for some time to come. But I had had too much to drink to worry my pretty little head about such matters now, although not enough to miss overhearing an earnest conversation between two of the delegates to the womens' conference outside in the washroom which really made my ears burn as I prepared to rejoin the folks in the ballroom. 4.A STRANGER IN MY OWN HOME. Judging by the state of my discarded pink mini dress the next morning, the front of which was splattered all over with regurgitated food, I must have caused quite a stir later on the previous evening, but I had such a dreadful headache that apart from the odd snatches here and there, I could only recall honking all down the front of Clare's ample bosom! I don't even know who it was who carted me upstairs, undressed me, and put me into bed in my lovely satin nighty, but 'Cinderella Fella' had one hellava hang-over, since she had missed her nine o'clock deadline by over two hours, so even after foregoing breakfast and being excused shaving duties I still took another hour restoring my makeup to it's former glory, and getting dressed in Annette's day clothes, so I was well and truly in the 'cathouse' when I finally reached home and prepared once again to brave a chilly welcome - both outside and inside the house! Back at base all was peaceful, so I tested my latch-key in the lock and thankfully let myself in, and putting my bouquet of roses on the hall- stand, I then hung Annette's scarlet coat in the hall, and feeling like a stranger in my own home and half expecting to be caught out at any moment, crept quietly up the stairs, only to find that our bedroom had now become the exclusion zone, since the door was locked and I didn't have the key. Florence chose this moment to come out of the bathroom drying her curly hair vigorously with a towel, and she gave me a warm smile of welcome as she came over and kissed my cheek. "That dress of Mummies does suit you Aunt Georgina! - But I can't stop now, - Steve, my boyfriend is taking me out shopping on our bikes, - Mummy, Rachel and the girls have gone over to Grannies in Janet's car for an hour or two, but she says you are sleeping in the second guest bedroom for now and she has moved all of your clothes in there." - "Did Rachel stay the night then, pet?" - But she had scuttled back to her room before I could quiz her further and I thought it better not to press the matter until I was more soberly dressed. It was incredible that the shy, timid, little Ray who had changed into the gorgeous Rachel, now even had the balls to sleep with my wife!- and I was jealous as hell! - evidently SHE had all the right equipment, whereas I didn't, - at least, not yet! So having accepted that Rachel was now the flavour of the month, I made my way along the hallway to my new bedroom. The room to which I had been exiled had recently been completely re- decorated on Annetts's insistance, and strangely the decor was more appropriate to Georgina than her brother George, with a predominance of dated floral wallpaper and painted furniture in pinks, lavenders and forget-me-not blues, and generous swathes of feminine frills and flounces decorating the curtains and the queen-sized bed, and a pink and white floral bathroom suite beyond, all chosen at great expense and with loving care by Annette, who had always been a traditionalist, and how I was feeling at the moment I preferred it this way. - But it was only when examining the contents of the wardrobes and the dressing table drawers that I realised the extent to which my future preferences had already been mapped out for me, highlighted by the large edwardian china dolly in her scarlet silk dress, complete with a white lace parasol and frilly pantaloons, as she reclined gracefully upon the counterpaine with her head resting on the headboard, and seemingly deriving much pleasure from the bind I was in while guarding my recently acquired birthday presents, which lay strewn across the divan, with the notable exception of the gents dressing gown and toiletries! "Florence!" - I bellowed, - "where are my clothes?" Moments later a sheepish looking daughter appeared in the doorway as I held up a delicate pink satin and lace body in one hand, and a full length oyster silk night-dress in the other at which her face expressed a cheeky grin. "Mummy says to tell you that women's things are the only sort of clothes Aunt Georgina will be allowed to wear around the house from now on, and since you are so used to wearing hers, she has made a selection of some of her cast-offs for you to wear until you buy some of your own!" - "But Darling, where are all my mens clothes? - I still have to go out and go to work - and what's with the 'Auntie'?" I murmured weakly. "Surely you have guessed by now Georgina? - Mummy say's 'in view of your disgraceful behaviour last night, and since you came home so late this morning, she is going to teach you a lesson for being rude and disobedient, - so they have all been taken round to Grannies and there they are going to stay for the time being!' - and we cannot keep calling you 'Daddy' dressed like that, can we? - say someone were to over-hear? - So I'm afraid you will have to get used to it!" On hearing this news, my future prospects went into free-fall, so I dived downstairs and into the lounge for a hair of the dog and was pouring out a vodka and lemon when both the door bell and the phone rang and assuming it was Steve, the new boyfriend at the door I chose to lay low, downing the vodka in one and answering the phone instead! "Zero double four six six zero five!" I growled - "Hi George, I would like to speak to Georgina, - if she is there?" - "Ha!Ha!-very funny Paul, what do you want?" My sharp rejoinder showed I was in no mood for having my leg pulled, even while wearing nylon stockings, but all that suddenly changed as the lounge door slowly opened and in walked Florence and Steve! "Hello darlings," - I gushed, putting my hand over the receiver,- "With you in a moment!" - and I resumed my conversation with Paul. "Georgina here Paul, what can I do for you sweetie?" My seductive tones brought forth a surprised gasp and then a moments pause the other end of the line before my friend could get back into his stride after my volte face, - "Umm., - You were absolutely marvellous last night darling," - "Oh yes dear, in what respect?" I drawled for the benefit of my young audience as accompanied by the electrostatic swish of my satin slip against nylon pantihose, I kicked off my heels and curling my legs comfortably beneath my skirts sat on my haunches on the sofa, while wondering what I had done last night that was so sensational, - short of taking off and throwing my panties at the guys, - Paul is not easily swayed, certainly not by his best friend wearing a pink dress! "Cheryl thought the way you were dressed and flounced about just like a woman fooled everybody, and foolishly I even told her I quite fancied you myself, so I am nursing a black eye at the moment - not to mention the kick in the goolies you gave me last night! - so you had better look out, - she has been sharpening her claws ever since! But seriously we both just loved you singing 'I feel like a natural woman!', you gave such a convincing performance I have a big favour to ask?" So I had performed and scored on the karaoke stage', - and I flushed with embarrassment realising that some of the mystery of my missing hours was solved as I recalled Paul sidling up to me for a dance during which I was subjected to some over friendly fondling and blatant groping for my sausage and two veg only to be rewarded in classic style with a ladies knee in the you know where. So feeling rather pleased with myself I responded!- "Ask away Paulie, I am all ears!" Meanwhile as I glanced across at Florence she whispered that the new boyfriend would have to be introduced to 'Aunt Georgina' another time, and they were off out as planned, but she then ended her brief interruption with - "Bye Daddy!" as I replied on autopilot - "Bye my darling!" The guilt and apprehension on our faces was picked up by Steve as he stared at the two of us in disbelief and astonishment at our innocent gaffe, but since the damage had been done with a firm "Now skidaddle you two and don't do anything I wouldn't do!" I thankfully waved a fond farewell as the two red faced interlopers scuttled out of the room in confused embarrassment leaving me to tune in once more to what Paul had to say. "The lady speaker at our rotary club annual dinner tomorrow evening has chickened out, so after you had flaked out last night Annette suggested you would be only too willing to step into the lady's shoes at such short notice. It will be at the Best Western, so you will at least be used to your surroundings and you will get another slap-up meal as well as my exclusive company plus the 500 pounds appearance fee, provided you are dressed much the same as you were last night, and not as George or some tarted up drag queen like you were on your web-cam, - so what do you think?" Now that I had got over the initial shock of unknowingly being ogled at by family and best friends for goodness knows how many months, and a moment earlier unwittingly written off Florence's new boyfriend into the bargain - 500 pounds for singing a couple of karaoke numbers while dressed up in a manner to which I was getting tantalisingly accustomed seemed an offer too good to refuse and at least it gave me the opportunity to meet up with Zara Baxter again. So I replied still in my character as 'Georgina' and promised to give some thought to Paul's request despite his parting shots. "Thanks George, I am sure you won't let me down, - and by the way, what perfume do you like to buy?" - "Umm. Givenchy is Annette's favourite," I replied, thinking Paul was meaning to buy it as a gift for my wife. - "No Georgina sweet, it is YOU who will be smelling of THAT and having to fight me and the boys off!" I blanched as the meaning sunk in and I was equally unimpressed by his "Farewell Toots!" - as the saucy bugger sniggered and blew a kiss down the phone! I rang off post-haste and replacing my heels trotted off to the kitchen for a coffee and to feed Zsa-Zsa, Flora's cat, despite a strong impulse to go upstairs to my bedroom and try on some of the more desirable contents of my fabulous new wardrobe. I was surprised at how unkempt the room appeared to be, Annette was usually scrupulous with the housework, - unwashed crockery, saucepans and utensils were piled up in the sink and on the drainers, while cookery books, newspapers, and empty food cartons littered the filthy working surfaces, the waste bin being full to overflowing while cat food littered the tiled floor which looked as though it hadn't been cleaned for a week. Such conditions were totally out of character in my wife's scheme of things, not that I would normally had noticed or even been bothered by such minor details as a messy kitchen since I rarely ever went in there! But for some peculiar reason I was bothered, and so much so that I replaced my heels with a more sensible pair of 'flatties', grabbed a flowered pinny from behind the door and having eventually found where all the