Second Chance
By
Julie O.
Edited by
Robert Arnold
Chapter 1
(Sometime in 2008)
In many ways it started off as very typical day. I arrived home from a
long day at work, and after greeting Max the cat at the front door of my
condo, I sorted through the day's mail. For the most part it was the
usual collection of bills, magazines, and junk mail. However, one letter
stood out; it was the announcement for my thirtieth high school reunion.
I opened it and saw that Winfield Scott Hancock High School's class of
1978 would be having its reunion in three months. To be honest, I was
surprised to have received the invitation in the first place. My old high
school was back in the suburbs of Philadelphia, located near the
birthplace of the Civil War general that bore its name, and I now lived
in San Diego, and for the most part I'd had no contact with my classmates
in years. In fact I couldn't wait to leave as fast as I could following
my graduation.
After sitting down on the couch, I re-read the letter several times over,
not quite sure what to do with it. But the more I thought about it I knew
that I had no intention of attending.
While I loved going back to Pennsylvania to see my sister or cousins, it
was no longer my home. I had given up that right almost as soon as the
ink on my high school diploma was dry.
As you might have guessed from my comments, high school was not one of my
best times. For the life of me, I can never understand how people can
call it such a wonderful time. While I understand that many people share
my somewhat negative attitude, I had an additional reason to dislike my
high school experience, I was in constant fear of being outed.
I didn't know the term for it back then, but I was constantly fighting
feelings... no make that urges... even that term isn't strong enough; I
guess the best description would be compulsions to dress in women's
clothes. It wasn't until many years later that I realized that I was
transgendered.
Now being this was the 1970s, the ability to get information on this
dilemma was difficult, to say the least. There was no Internet, no cable
television... hell; Jerry Springer was just some obscure politician from
Cincinnati, Ohio.
No, one didn't bring up the fact that they were different back then. I
was in constant fear of my secret being discovered. Oh, I did my best to
fit in, but I was only moderately successful in this battle.
To be blunt, I existed on the fringes of popularity. I wasn't into drugs,
and that made the ones who were suspicious of me. I know what you're
thinking, if I wanted to fit in...or even more accurate...not stand out,
why not smoke a little dope? What was the harm? Part of it was that I
tried it a few times, and it did nothing for me. Second, thanks to my
dad's job, I was too well known in our town.
My dad was the manager for the local public works department, and I had
worked several summers for him. He was very popular and respected, and as
his son, I got to meet most of the town's civil servants. Now, back then,
if the cops caught some teens smoking or drinking, they would just take
the stuff and send them home. If I had ever been caught, my dad would
have found out immediately, and the last thing I wanted to do was to get
kicked out of the house.
Anyway, to continue with my life story, I had great parents and a cool
older sister, and for the most part we got along quite well. To me,
getting caught with some dope wasn't worth it. The trouble is, this
excuse didn't hold even a single drop of water among my classmates.
While I didn't have a social life to speak of, I did work in the local
mall. It was in a retail store, and the money wasn't bad, especially
because I was paid under the table.
Back to the gender issues, I fought these feelings all the time and
couldn't understand them. I thought they were a sexual fetish, but when I
was dressed, I didn't feel aroused. It was so strange, and of course
there was no one to talk to about it. Hell, in health class we had a big
discussion on the recent declassification of homosexuality as a mental
illness. Actually, it wasn't a discussion, the health teacher, i.e.
football coach, called it stupid and belittled anyone with a different
opinion. Naturally, I was one of those who sat back and nodded silently
in agreement. I mean, if being homosexual was wrong, what did that make
me?
So I did what many people in the same situation would do, I joined the
navy upon graduation. Actually, I joined while I was still in high school
under a delayed enlistment program. My guidance counselor thought I was
wasting my life. Remember, this was just a few years after the fall of
South Viet Nam, so the military wasn't exactly seen as a solid career
path.
I joined for many reasons. My family had a military tradition, I wanted
to see the world, I wanted adventure, I lacked money for college, and
basically I thought it would purge me of my abnormal thoughts.
So, four weeks after graduation I was on a jet to boot camp in Orlando,
Florida.
Now, while the navy was far from perfect, I found that I was good at what
I did. I also took advantage of the education programs and eventually was
commissioned as an officer. In all, I would have to say that I had a
great career in the twenty years I served.
However, the navy didn't drive away my transgendered feelings. Yes, I
finally figured out I was transgendered, but decided to finish out my
twenty years to get my retirement. True, there was the stress of worrying
about being caught, but I mastered the skills of being a chameleon and no
one suspected my dual life.
I only went to one reunion, my tenth, and in less than twenty minutes I
remembered why I had left so quickly back in 1978. I decided then that I
wouldn't attend another reunion. I had little to nothing in common with
most of the people there. Over half of them hadn't even left the area.
When I told them I was still in the navy, they shook their heads in
disbelief. They wondered why I would waste my life in the military. I
might as well have been a Martian. I wondered why some of them were
wasting their own lives. I had thought that the people in the top of my
class would have gone on in the business world by now well on their way
to being the CEO of a company. Instead, most of them were still working
at the local mall in menial jobs at minimum wage.
I ignored later invitations and letters, yet, they still were able to
track me down. I re-read the letter again, and then slowly crumbled it up
and tossed it on the carpet for the cat to play with.
Chapter 2
Two weeks later, I got another invitation to the reunion. In addition to
the letter I got a call from one of my high school classmates. To be
honest, I couldn't even place the name of the person calling. But this
wasn't that strange as my graduating class was huge: as we had over 850
people in it. I graduated with people I had never even seen before.
Anyway, the woman, whose name was Beth-Ann Spellman, asked me if I was
interested in attending the reunion. The name wasn't familiar to me and
at first I thought she just must have been an organizer for the events
and not a classmate.
As we talked she told me that we had been in several classes together and
hoped that I would attend. I made a mental note to dig out my old
yearbook and see if I recognized her, as the name still didn't ring a
bell.
I was polite and told her that it was unlikely, as it would be difficult
to get away from work. She was persistent and said that she would send me
the online data sheet, so even if I couldn't attend, my info would end up
in the almanac they were publishing.
Oh, and I could tell that she didn't really didn't remember me either as
she called me Eddie, a name that almost no one in my life had ever called
me since I was seven, and those people had been family.
I graciously told her that I would take a look at it. My thoughts turned
to my dual life, and I wondered what they would think if I included it in
my profile. I worked as a guy, but my life outside of work was spent as a
woman. Yeah, I know, it wasn't perfect, but I needed to clean up some
real world issues before starting my transition. I also knew that even
though I saw myself as a woman, my body showed the effects of forty-eight
years of testosterone, and to play full time I would need some facial
surgery.
Beth-Ann thanked me for my time and before she hung up told me that I
should think about attending the reunion, as high school wasn't all that
bad.
I mumbled some reply and hung up. She had no idea how bad high school had
been for me. If only I had been a girl, things would have been different
and I might have considered attending the reunion.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for those kids today who are
undergoing transition as a child, and I often find myself wishing things
could have been different when I was younger. It would have saved so much
heartache, and I might actually want to go back for the reunion.
I poured myself a glass of my favorite cheap house red wine: Charles
Shaw, or as it's known out here, two-buck Chuck, as that's the price at
Trader Joe's. I could afford the more expensive stuff, but I liked the
flavor of two-buck Chuck. Then I began to channel surf, unfortunately
there was nothing interesting on the tube.
Max the cat, seeing an open lap, jumped up and made himself very
comfortable. With a slight nudge of his head, I was reminded that I
wasn't petting him. As I sat there, I wondered how different things would
have been if I had been actually born as a girl.
Even with my gender issues, I couldn't deny that I had seen and done some
pretty cool things in my life. I had been to over thirty countries, hiked
up Mt. Fuji, snorkeled in the Red Sea, swam in the Dead Sea, gotten drunk
at Oktoberfest in Munich, fought in a war and done many other things. I
also had a very successful life after the service, at least when it came
to my career.
My personal life was a different story. Thanks to my gender issues, I had
never been able to stay in a meaningful relationship. It was a huge void
in my life.
There was also the regret about not being honest with my parents. I'd
told my older sister Alice several years ago, but both my parents had
passed on. I rationalized the numerous reasons why it made sense not to
tell them, but there were times when it had hurt so badly not being able
to be totally honest with them. Yeah, I know it was probably the right
thing to do, but it really stinks at times to be honorable.
I finished off the first bottle and opened a second. If I was going to be
depressed about my life I might as well have a few drinks.
I stared at the invitation to the reunion before crumbling it up and
tossing it towards the trashcan before reaching for the bottle of wine to
refill my glass. Max leapt off my lap and attacked the wad of paper.
I finished the second bottle of wine before heading to bed. I decided not
to even open the email from Beth-Ann; some sleeping dogs are best left
alone.
I shook my dead in disgust as I pondered how life would have been better
if I had been born female.
Chapter 3
Maybe it was the two bottles of wine, or maybe I was just really tired,
but I slept really deeply that night. Normally, I have a great internal
alarm clock and often wake up before my clock radio goes off, but this
morning, I was in a very deep sleep.
I slowly became aware that someone was talking to me.
"Honey, wakeup! You don't want to be late for school," called a familiar
voice.
School? What kind of dream was this? I hadn't had the late-for-school
dream in years, I thought as I struggled to wake up.
"Ellen, you need to get up now! Don't make me come in there young lady!"
That sounded just like my mom's voice. With great difficulty, I opened up
my eyes. Something was wrong, I wasn't in my bedroom. I sat up and looked
around. No, I was in my bedroom, but it was the bedroom that I had grown
up in back in Pennsylvania.
Suddenly it all became so familiar again. I could see the familiar large
maple tree just outside the window.
When I sat up in bed, I automatically swept my hair back out of my eyes
and froze. Why was my hair so long? If this was a dream, it was the most
realistic that I had ever had.
I jumped out of bed and stared at the large mirror above the dresser.
I was a girl. I mean, I looked like me back in high school...but a female
version. I was wearing a short nightgown, and I pulled it up to confirm
with my eyes what my feelings told me.
I had breasts; something in my mind told me that my bra size was 34-C. I
reached down into my panties and discovered that the change was complete.
"Holy shit!" I exclaimed loudly. My hands then went to my mouth in shock
as I heard my voice, which was soft and feminine.
"Watch your mouth, young lady," corrected my mom from behind my closed
bedroom door.
"Sorry...Mom," I replied sheepishly.
"Look, I know it must be hard to get up for the first day of school, but
you don't want to be late. I mean, you're a senior now," said Mom.
I looked at the calendar above my desk and saw that Tuesday, September
6th 1977 was circled in red. I looked at the clock; it read 6:15 AM. It
was the first day of my senior year in high school...AGAIN! I sat down on
the edge of my bed in shock.
"Dad is done with the bathroom, so the shower is open," said Mom.
"Thanks," I replied. Could this be real or just a realistic dream due to
a couple bottles of inexpensive red wine?
I looked around the room; it was definitely my old room, the room that I
had grown up in, even though the furniture was now very different. It
then hit me that it was the same white furniture that had been in my
sister's room...back in my old life.
In addition to a dresser and a chest of drawers, there was a makeup table
and a desk. A rather large stereo took up one corner of the desk. I had
forgotten how big they used to be. I stared it and realized that it had
an eight-track and a turntable!
Next, I looked in the closet and saw it was filled with women's clothing
and shoes...my things.
Okay, just go along with this, and you'll either wake up or hopefully
figure out what's going on, I thought.
"Are you up, dear?" asked Mom again.
"Yes, Mom," I replied as I slipped on my robe and headed to the bathroom.
Chapter 4
I definitely had a complete female body, and to be honest, it wasn't too
bad. I had a nice figure. I also had a very pleasant face. I looked
similar to my sister had at this age, although my hair was lighter in
color.
I had no trouble doing my makeup, hair and picking out an outfit for
school. I couldn't believe the style my hair was in, I had forgotten
about 70s hair styles. It was shoulder length, with the ends flared up.
The color was light brown, several shades lighter than what my hair had
been as a guy. For some reason, I somehow knew to use the right amount of
hair mousse to give me just the right look.
For clothes, I picked out a pair of jeans and a short sleeve floral
blouse. The jeans were very tight. The blouse was also a bit tighter
than I would have liked, and it really emphasized my breasts. I debated
picking out something else, but looking at the clock, I knew that I
didn't have time.
The house I grew up in was a standard three-bedroom split-level. I
stepped out of the bedroom, walked down the eight steps and turned right
into the kitchen. I smiled when I heard the sound of the Philadelphia
news station on the radio. I had forgotten how my parents always listened
to it every morning.
My mom was sitting on a stool by the counter, and Dad was sitting in his
normal chair, drinking his coffee. I froze and almost gasped.
"You okay, dear?" asked Mom.
I fought to compose myself. Dad had died of complications of chronic
bronchitis in 1988, and Mom had passed away in her sleep in 2005. I
suddenly realized how much I had missed both of them. My emotions
overrode my attempts at control, and I immediately hugged Dad and then
did the same to Mom.
"What's all this about?" asked Dad in a false tone of irritation. I could
tell that he was actually pleased despite his gruff exterior.
"I'm sorry, it's just that...this is such a big day," I stammered. I had
to fight off crying, and the last thing I wanted to do was redo my
makeup.
"Honestly, it's like you haven't seen us in years," said Mom.
I just smiled.
"What do you want for breakfast?" she asked.
"Just toast and coffee, please," I said as I sat down. I had to fight
staring at Dad.
"When did you start drinking coffee?" asked Mom as she placed her hands
on her hips.
Shit, that's right, I thought. It then hit me. "Mom, I'm eighteen in two
days, what's the harm?"
Mom shook her head, but she poured me a mug.
"Sounds like she's really growing up," said Dad.
I added a little sugar, some milk and took a sip.
"Well?" asked Dad.
"Good to the last drop," I replied with a grin.
"How're you getting to school today?" asked Mom.
I searched my memory as I took another sip. I hadn't the slightest idea.
The bus did pick-ups at the end of the street, but I was a senior now.
I was saved by someone knocking on the screen door.
Mom looked out to the door. "It's for you, dear."
I got up and saw a pretty girl with long black hair standing next to a
strawberry blonde. I searched my memories and remembered that the girl
with long black hair was Gina and the blonde was Judy.
Gina's parents had moved to the US twenty years ago from Naples, Italy.
On the other hand, Judy's family had lived in the Philly area for
generations. The two girls were very close friends.
I walked over and opened up the door.
"Hey, Elle, you want a ride?" asked Gina.
I had always liked Gina and even tried to ask her out once. The same
thing applied to Judy.
"That sounds great," I replied. "Bye, Mom; bye, Dad." I then leaned over
and kissed Dad on the forehead.
I picked up my purse and headed out the door. If this was a dream, I was
going to make the most of it.
Chapter 5
Now this might sound strange, but I was more fascinated by being back in
1977 than by being a girl. It was so strange seeing all the old cars and
not seeing cell phones and all the other technological advances that I
had grown so used to. I really had to keep myself from staring at the
cars. I mean, I forgot how big they were.
It was also pretty cool listening to the radio as we rode to school in
Judy's car. It slowly was sinking in that I was back in the 70's.
"Hey, play that new cassette you got, Judy," said Gina.
"You've got to hear this new singer, Elle" said Judy as she inserted the
cassette into her car's player. "My brother made me a copy of his album.
He bought it in London over the summer; it hasn't been released over here
yet."
I somehow remembered that Judy's brother was in college. Without think I
began to sing along with the song.
"Hey, how do you know this song?" asked Judy.
"Yeah, no offense, Elle, but I never thought of you liking punk," said
Gina. "Come to think of it, you've always been a little conservative in
your music tastes."
I had to act quickly. "I heard it on a college station when I was
visiting Jeannie, over the summer," I lied. I also smiled at them calling
Elvis Costello punk, but then again, he was pretty radical for 1977.
"People change as they grow up; you'd be surprised by my taste in music."
"Wow, I thought I heard this first," said Judy. "I mean, my brother said
this is his first album."
The song was Alison by Elvis Costello, and I couldn't tell them that I
had been a fan for years. I'm glad I didn't say that I had it on CD, as
that really would have confused them.
"Maybe we should go to the mall after school and you pick out some other
music," said Gina. "It would be cool to be on things before the rest of
our class."
"Sounds great," I replied.
Chapter 6
I managed to find my locker and homeroom without great difficulty. I
found that it was best to just follow my instincts. It was really sinking
in that this wasn't a dream. I was now a seventeen-year-old girl named
Ellen and was starting my senior year again.
While the idea of repeating high school wasn't exactly appealing, the
fact that I was now a girl was extremely exciting. I took out my driver's
license and read my name printed on it. It also hit me that there was no
photo on it, just my name, address, birth date, hair color, eye color,
height and weight. No wonder it had been so easy to have a fake ID. I
looked around and realized that dozens of girls could have used my ID.
As I looked around my homeroom the names gradually began to match the
faces. Thankfully, whatever had sent me back in time had given me the
knowledge to survive. My life as Ellen also began to become clearer.
While I had dated often, I didn't have a boyfriend. As I thought about
this fact, it hit me that I now liked boys. I looked around the room and
noticed that there were several very cute guys in my class. Well, this
would definitely take some getting used to.
It also hit me that I still liked girls...this would make things
interesting I thought.
I also began to recall that I had a pretty good GPA and that I was
involved in several school clubs, including student government; in all I
was far more active as Ellen than I had ever been as Ed.
As I reviewed my schedule it was clear that it wasn't going to be a very
difficult year academically. I was scheduled for American Literature,
Ecology, Telecommunications, US Government, Astronomy, and PE. It was
similar to what I had done the first time...as a guy, as I had packed my
schedule in my first two years of high school so my senior year would be
easy.
I compared my schedule with some of the others in my homeroom.
"Hey, Elle, looks like we're in PE together," said Janet, a large
breasted blonde.
I looked at the schedule and nodded. Then it hit me that it was an
aquatics class. Our school had a large indoor pool, along with many other
bells and whistles. I wondered what I would look like in a bathing
suit...and how I would react being in a locker-room full of other girls.
Chapter 7
As it became obvious that this wasn't a dream, the reality of the
situation began to sink in. I was now a young woman and had the
opportunity to relive my life over. My mind was soon awash with the
possibilities.
Now, just in case you thought I hadn't thought of it, I did start to
ponder the fact that I knew the future and the associated consequences.
What was strange was that while I had no trouble retaining my school
knowledge and cultural knowledge, it was difficult to remember major
historical events.
I flipped open one of my notebooks and began to write down facts. I
easily listed the Super Bowl and World Series champions, but listing the
presidents was a little difficult. I got as far as George W Bush, but no
further. I could picture the next president's face, but not his name. I
could remember something about a scandal, but it was too vague.
I also listed upcoming technological advances such as the Sony Walkman,
Nintendo, compact discs, Apple computers, Microsoft and others. I also
tried to include the dates in which they came out. Maybe I could use this
for my future investments.
There were some things that troubled me. I knew something bad had
happened in September 2001, but what it was I had no idea. I wrote a
warning next to the month and year. There was also something about a new
illness that affected the immune system, but that's all I could remember.
It started to give me a headache, so I stopped and began to pay attention
to the teacher. I would go back to it whenever I thought of something
new.
Whoever or whatever had caused all this hadn't done it to change the
world. Then again, I wondered if I was in the same world, maybe I was in
a parallel universe? Other than the fact that I was a girl, things didn't
seem different, but I would keep an eye open.
The reality of being a woman also began to sink in. I remembered how my
sister had told me of her limited opportunities in school and career
opportunities. She had told me that Dad hadn't even wanted her to go to
college, that it was wasted on women. Now, I would have to deal with that
too.
If I went back into the Navy, I couldn't go to sea... as women weren't
allowed on warships. I hadn't counted on that.
With Alice in already in college, I had limited options, as Dad didn't
make enough to put two into college. I instinctively knew that I had some
money put away, but that would only get me into the local community
college, Montgomery County Community College, which we called 202-U as it
was located off Route 202. I began to wish that I had been sent back a
few more years, so I would have more time to decide what I was going to
do.
My grades were good, but any scholarships I could get wouldn't be enough.
I thought of career opportunities for a young woman with only a high
school diploma and cringed. I didn't want to be a salesgirl or work in an
office as a secretary.
There was another option, but that wasn't something I even wanted to
consider. I wanted a life, and the idea of getting married and becoming a
housewife made me cringe.
My euphoria at being a girl was being shot down by the reality of life.
Chapter 8
Then there was the distraction of boys. While in my old life I had been
with a man a few times, it always felt un-natural. Even when I dressed as
a woman, it felt strange, as they'd seemed more interested in the fact
that I was a woman with a dick.
Now, I was a complete woman...and boys were nice. However, before I went
too far, the other side of this situation hit me. I opened my purse and
found that I had several tampons in a side compartment. I felt a chill as
I realized that I could now get pregnant. There was no way I was ready
for that. I then saw something else in my purse, and without taking it
out, I knew what it was...birth control pills.
I was stunned! Obviously, Mom had helped me get them, so that meant she
knew that I was or could be sexually active. I frantically searched my
new memories and confirmed that I was still a virgin, although I had
gotten close last summer with Bill McGwire. Whoa, that was a shock. I was
friends with Bill in my past life, but to think that I almost lost my
virginity to him in this one was a shocker.
I then noticed that Bill was in my current class. When I looked over at
him, he noticed and smiled. I smiled back. I hadn't noticed before, but
he was a good looking guy. I could do worse, I thought.
Bill was around six feet tall and of average build. Like most guys in
school, he had long hair - his was light brown with a slight curl to it.
Thankfully it was naturally curly and not a perm. I still couldn't get
over all the guys with perms. He also had dark blue eyes.
I searched my memories and remembered something about him becoming a
fireman.
My newfound memories told me that I had been to a party in August at his
house. There had been beer and pot, and I remembered that I got a little
buzzed. I also recalled making out with him in the rec-room. He had me
partly undressed, and we would have gone further, if his parents hadn't
come home. I wondered if he would ask me out.
Chapter 9
After class I got my answer. He walked over to me and smiled.
"Hi, Elle," he said.
"Hi," I replied.
"Where are you going now?" he asked.
I looked at my schedule. "Lunch, what about you?"
"Same," he replied with a smile. "How have you been?"
"Good," I replied.
We headed towards the large lunch area together. Yeah, I know...I should
have done something different; I mean, I was new at this, but he was so
nice.
"Sorry, I didn't call," he said meekly.
I looked over at him and nodded.
"I also...I mean, I didn't mean for what happened back in August to
happen like that. I mean, I like you... I like you a lot," he stammered.
I smiled back at him. I remembered my nervous attempts to talk to girls
when I was a boy and sympathized for Bill.
"It's okay," I replied. "I know what you mean."
"So, you're not angry at me?" he asked timidly.
I laughed. "No."
He smiled back. "You want to go to the game with me this Friday?"
Our terrible football team was playing their first game of the season,
but it was the place to go on a Friday, and there were usually parties
afterwards.
"Sure, I'd like that," I replied.
"Cool," he replied.
Holy shit, I was going out on a date!
Chapter 10
One thing that confirmed that I wasn't in an alternative universe was the
fact that the school lunch was as awful was I had remembered. Today's
feeble attempt at barely edible food was cheeseburgers, which were mostly
soy, and awful greasy fries. I skipped that and got a salad, which was
mostly iceberg lettuce and two pieces of carrot and one piece of radish.
Health food was obviously a few years away.
Bill went off to eat with some guys, and I sat down with Judy and Gina.
"So, are you and Bill together?" asked Judy with a smile.
She had been at the same party and obviously had seen us together.
"Maybe," I replied with a grin.
"He's pretty cute," said Gina.
I nodded. "Changing the subject, what are you planning on doing after
graduation?"
"I'll probably get just married," stated Gina with a sigh.
I vaguely remembered something about her marrying a guy who worked for
her father's construction company. I think she already had three kids
when I saw her at the ten year reunion.
"I'm actually thinking about the army," said Judy. "Jean talked to a
recruiter over the summer, and he told her that if we passed the test we
could go to foreign language school in Monterey California. I would also
earn money for college."
Jean was a girl that I had known since second grade. She was a diehard
liberal, and the idea of her joining the army had always made me smile.
I nodded as I picked through my meager salad. While I couldn't repeat the
same path that I had done before, I could get into some pretty good
fields and earn money for college.
"What are you going to do?' asked Gina.
"I may look into the military too," I said. "I don't want to go to 202-U
and just kill time."
With my twenty years of experience in my previous life, I knew that I
would have no trouble adjusting back to the military life. I might not do
a career, but it would be a nice place to start. At least I could earn
some money for college.
"I agree, but that's where a lot of our class seems to be going," said
Judy.
"Another reason not to go there," I replied with a grin.
Judy and Gina began to laugh.
"I can't believe that we're finally seniors," said Gina.
"I know," I replied as I finished off my salad. I looked around the
cafeteria and only saw milk and juice machines. I could really use a Diet
Coke, but it hadn't been invented yet, and there was no way that I was
about to start drinking Tab. I think if you looked in a dictionary in
1977 and looked up the word vile, there was a picture of a can of Tab.
"Where do you think we'll be in say...thirty years from now?" I asked.
"Who knows?" said Judy.
Others at the table joined in and offered their opinions on where we
would be in thirty years.
I wondered if I would be back in high school. Was this a loop that would
keep repeating, or was this a one time deal?
Chapter 11
After school Judy, Gina, and I stopped at Montgomeryville Mall, which had
just opened the previous spring.
As we walked around the large two-level mall, I noticed that many stores
were hiring. I really wasn't worried about my class load and figured that
I could use some extra money. I had worked at the same mall in my
previous life and knew that the money could be pretty good and the hours
flexible.
I mentally made some notes on which stores were hiring. I ruled out all
the fast-food places and most of the big chain stores as they were less
flexible with hours. The smaller, privately owned stores often paid teens
under the table.
We stopped in the record store and checked out the latest releases. It
was really strange seeing actual record albums again. I had forgotten how
large they were compared to CDs. I ignored them and moved to the
cassettes. I picked out a few "old favorites", most notably Steely Dan's
latest Aja and Bob Marley and the Wailer's Exodus. I figured I might as
well introduce reggae to my high school.
"You're actually buying that?" asked Judy as she looked at the cover.
"It's really good, trust me on this," I stated.
"But, look at his hair!" she remarked as she shook her head in disgust.
"He has braids!"
"They're called dreadlocks," I said as I corrected her.
The salesperson was slightly shocked by my selections, but at the same
time he was pleased. He had the look of a real stoner and probably only
worked at the store to get the latest releases. His eyes were a little
bloodshot, although he was trying to hide this fact by wearing
sunglasses.
"So, you actually like reggae?" he asked.
"Sure, I'm surprised that you have it," I replied with a smile.
He laughed as he took my money.
We then floated around the mall to the various shops. I ended up buying a
bottle of nail polish that Judy insisted would look great on me. It was a
bright pink, and I had my doubts, but I bought it anyway.
On the way back home, I played the Bob Marley cassette. They were a
little slow to warm up to it, but I think they started coming around by
the time we got home.
Chapter 12
After dinner, I continued writing in my notebook. It would have been so
much easier with my laptop, but being they hadn't been invented yet, I
had to do it the old fashioned way.
I continued to discover large gaps in my knowledge of the future. I knew
that when I was in the navy I had gone off to war, but now I couldn't
recall against who it had been. I knew that it happened sometime in the
early 1990s, but after that I was clueless.
I then turned my attention to life as a girl. While it was obvious that I
liked boys a lot now, as I thought about it, I found that I also still
had feelings for other girls. Being it was 1977, I knew enough to keep
these feelings in check. The last thing I needed was to be labeled a
lesbian.
Back to boys, I knew that I would also have to watch myself. While I was
eager to explore my new body and life, I didn't want to go overboard
either.
It then hit me that I hadn't started to play around with my new body. It
was nearly nine-thirty, and I knew that Mom and Dad would be watching TV.
I closed my bedroom door and locked it.
I changed into my nightgown and lay down on my bed. I started by rubbing
my nipples and found that they were very sensitive. I was slightly
shocked at how hard they got as I rubbed them.
While one hand alternated between my nipples, the other hand slipped down
and began to rub the outside of my vagina. I was tentative at first, but
soon I was slipping my fingers inside of it and rubbing against my clit.
It was better than I had ever dreamed. In a very short time I worked
myself up to a monstrous orgasm. But it wasn't just one, but wave after
wave of pleasure sweeping through my body. I bit my lip to prevent making
too much noise, although I wasn't sure how successful I was. I had the
feeling that I would be very noisy during sex.
As I lay there in post-orgasmic bliss, I tried to rationalize what had
happened to me. Waves of questions began to come to the surface. Was this
permanent, or would I wake up in San Diego? What would I do with my life?
Was there a purpose for this change, or was it just a cosmic gift,
righting a wrong hat never should have happened?
It was too complicated to ponder all at once, so I gave up and went to
sleep.
Chapter 13
I woke up to my clock radio going off and hearing Carry On Wayward Son by
Kansas. I looked over at the radio and noted the position on the dial.
The station was 93.3 - WMMR, one of two main FM rock stations in
Philadelphia. As I listened to the song, it hit me that I was still a
girl, and it was still 1977. I couldn't help but smile.
In many ways I was very pleased to still be Elle. It felt great not to be
in personal conflict. My mind and body finally matched, and it was
wonderful. True, I had some time issues to get used to, but I had already
lived through these years once, so I was pretty confident I could do it
again. Yes, I still had a lot to get used to, but I was pretty sure that
I could.
So, I got out of bed and got ready for school. I was ready to start my
second day as a high school girl.
As with the previous morning, it was great to see my parents again. It
was wonderful to have them in my life again.
"Is Alice coming home this weekend?' I asked.
"She's planning on it," said Mom.
My sister was attending college in Philadelphia, and even though it was
only forty minutes away, she stayed in the dorm. I can't blame her; it
was a lot easier, and I'm sure she was enjoying her freedom. Still, I
knew she enjoyed coming home for the weekend. Her boyfriend, Jim,
attended another local college, and it was the only time they could
really get together.
"By the way, make sure you keep Saturday night open," said Mom.
It took me a second to realize what she was talking about. My birthday
was the next day, and it was family tradition to go out for dinner. I
didn't mind as long as Friday was free.
"Okay," I replied. "So where are we going?"
"Gino's," said my dad without looking up from the paper. I had a hazy
memory that the Gino's restaurants were fast food places a lot like
McDonalds. Their food was pretty greasy, even by fast food standards and
they were long gone by the early 1980's.
"We are not going to Gino's," said Mom.
"Too fancy? Okay, how about the Tremont?" asked Dad.
The Tremont was Dad's favorite restaurant. It had been torn down in the
1990s, but now it was an excellent upscale restaurant. I immediately was
looking forward to going there.
"That sounds great," I replied. "Well, I've got to go, bye."
As with the previous day, I kissed Dad goodbye. Part of the reason for my
fast exit was that it had just hit me that we held the reception after
Dad's memorial service at the Tremont, and it had been the last time I
had been there. I almost wished that my old personal memories were as bad
as my historical ones. Knowing when a loved one is going to die is
horrific.
Chapter 14
Judy's car was a 1972 dark green Chevy Nova, and it pulled up at almost
the same time I stepped out of the house.
"Good morning," I said as I walked towards the car.
Once inside, I reached into my purse and pulled out a five dollar bill. I
handed it to Judy. If I remembered it right, with a gallon of gas going
for less than seventy-five cents, this would more than cover my share.
"What's this for?"
"Gas," I replied.
"Wow, first time for everything!" she replied as she put the five into
her purse. "Thanks, Ellen."
"Funny," I said. "I've paid before."
"I know you have," said Judy. "I just wanted to give you some grief."
"Um, I pay too," added Gina.
"Seriously, I appreciate it," said Judy. "Oh, I talked to my brother, and
he's shocked that I have a friend who likes Bob Marley. He said he would
send you some copies of some other albums."
I just laughed, thinking about the other musicians I would introduce to
them.
Chapter 15
Bill and I had a great talk before class. I was falling for him even as
every alarm in my head was going off; telling me it was way too soon. I
found myself wondering what it would be like to be kissed by him.
After class we walked to the cafeteria together.
"There's a party over at Mark Palmer's house after the game, can you go?"
I nodded. 'I just have to be home by midnight."
"No problem," he replied. He then took my hand into his, and he held it
until we reached the cafeteria.
I felt a chill run through my body, a chill of excitement.
"You don't mind?" he whispered into my ear.
"No, not at all," I replied.
We broke apart when we reached the cafeteria, but not before Jean, Gina
and the rest of my friends saw us holding hands.
Naturally, I took some good natured ribbing when I sat down, but I didn't
mind. Bill was a nice guy. I also recalled my rather dismal dating record
my first time through high school. I wasn't about to do something stupid,
but at the same time I wasn't about to sit on the sidelines again.
I was pleased that Bill found me attractive. I mean, I had a nice body,
and I had to admit that I was pretty. Deep down, there was a part of me
that wondered if the only reason why Bill was interested in me was our
little fling at the summer party.
Even though I wasn't there at the time, I had very vivid memories of the
party. Yes, I had been drinking, but I wasn't drunk, and yes, I had
smoked a few joints, but I wasn't wasted either. No, what stuck in my
memories was that I wanted to be with him badly.
I guess I still carried the biased view that guys are brought up with
about girls. That is that if a girl wants sex, she's a slut. I cringed
thinking that I could end up with that sort of reputation. There were so-
called bad girls in our class, and I knew several of them from growing up
in the school district. They hadn't seemed that different growing up, and
I wondered what made them different.
While I no longer had my gender issues, I now realized that I had other
issues to deal with. In just my second day as a girl, I was aware of
several of them, and I wondered what else was in store for me.
Chapter 16
There were other things to get used to. For one, I was several inches
shorter than I had been as a male. Naturally, I was less strong
physically, which would take some getting used to.
Then there was the whole age thing. While I was about to turn eighteen, I
was still too young to drink legally; however, Jersey was only forty
minutes away and they had an eighteen year old age limit. I would be old
enough to vote, but not old enough to get a rental car.
Also, living with my parents, I had a curfew to deal with. I understood
the reason for it, but it would take some getting used to.
Surprisingly, I adjusted to my new female body very quickly. The way it
moved and swayed as I walked and the bouncing of my breasts, seemed quite
normal. I also had knowledge of feminine hygiene. I knew how to keep my
body clean, and even though I hadn't had one yet, I knew what to do when
my period arrived, but that wasn't a worry right now.
I also recalled that I had been on birth control for two months, taking
the pill was as automatic as brushing my teeth. I knew the rotation of
days that I would have to take them and when I would be off them. In my
new memories, I remembered a rather open discussion between my sister,
mom, and I about sex. While Mom wasn't telling me to go out and have sex,
she acknowledged the fact that women were having sex at a younger age. It
had been her decision to do this for my sister and me. To be honest, I
was shocked, as I had never thought of my mom being so open-minded.
I also became aware of health issues that I would have to deal with. I
looked at my calendar and saw that I had a full physical scheduled for
early October. That wasn't something I was looking forward to.
Chapter 17
Jumping ahead to Friday night, I nervously dressed for the game. While I
was just wearing jeans and a short-sleeve light blue colored top, I did
take special care to make sure my hair and makeup looked great. I had to
find the balance of looking good, but not too good. Yes, I wanted him to
notice me, but at the same time I didn't want look like I was begging for
him. This was complicated.
Bill picked me up in his 1970 Ford Mustang. The body was a work in
progress, but it ran really well.
"You look nice," he said as we drove to the game.
"Thanks," I replied.
"You know, I always liked you; I didn't think that you ever noticed me,"
he said.
Bill and I had gone to the same elementary school and also the same
junior high; we even had been in a few classes together over the years.
While we hadn't run in the same social groups, we did overlap at times.
My new memories told me that I had been aware of Bill and that I liked
him.
"I noticed you," I said.
"Cool," he replied.
We hung out in what was called "The Pit" at the game. It was a student
section where everyone stood the entire game. While we really did pay
attention to the game, because our team was terrible it always shifted
into a social area.
As expected, we lost, badly. Actually, I knew that we wouldn't win a game
that year, but I kept that knowledge to myself, no sense in ruining
everyone's hopes for the season.
After the game we hung out in the parking lot before heading out to the
various parties.
I told myself to stay calm and not to get out of control. Thankfully, I
did this.
The party we went to was basically a combination of loud music, beer, and
other things. Even though the drinking age in PA was 21, I had forgotten
how easy it was to get beer. The party we went to had a keg, which had
been bought by Mark's older brother.
I didn't drink much. I think I wanted to see if Bill was really
interested in me as a girlfriend or whether he just wanted someone to
have sex with.
Thankfully, Bill was very cool that night and didn't try to get me drunk;
maybe there was more to this than a one time fling.
As we drove home, we talked.
"So, you're going out with your family tomorrow night?" he asked.
"Yes," I replied. I told him about the dinner plans.
"That's really nice," he said. There was a long pause. "Um, do you want
to go out again? I mean, we could just go to the movies or something like
that."
"I'd like that; I'd like it a lot," I replied.
"Cool," he replied.
He pulled into my driveway and turned off his car. We looked at each
other in silence for what seemed like an eternity. I smiled slightly and
nodded.
Bill then leaned over and kissed me. My whole body tingled as our lips
met. His tongue began to slip in my mouth, and I made no effort to stop
it. However, our embrace didn't last long.
Bill pulled away. "I suspect that your Dad might be watching. I don't
want to piss him off before I even meet him."
I laughed. "So, are we going to see each other again?"
"How about next Friday?" he asked.
The football team was on the road, and no one, other than family, went to
road games; it was bad enough watching them lose at home.
"I'd like that," I replied.
"Cool," he replied.
I figured we'd discuss the details later.
"I'll call you this weekend," he said. He then kissed me again.
He then walked me up to the front door. We kissed one last time, and I
went inside and watched him drive away. It then hit me; I had a
boyfriend.
Chapter 18
I looked at the large clock on the living room wall and noted that I
wasn't late, as it was only 11:45. However, Mom and Alice were still up
and sitting in the kitchen. It was so obvious that they were waiting up
for me that I couldn't resist.
"I still have fifteen minutes, can I pro-rate it to next week?" I asked
as I joined them.
"Pro-rate? Wow, you're getting more sophisticated with your vocabulary,"
said Alice.
My sister and I had the typical brother-sister relationship growing up;
we fought a lot, but were also very close. In fact, over the years we had
become even closer.
I had always considered her to be very pretty. Her hair was lighter in
color than mine and slightly shorter. I was glad that she was around.
Alice was fifteen months older than me and had been taller than me until
one summer when I grew several inches. Unfortunately, as a girl, that
growth spurt never happened, and she was now two inches taller than me,
and she never let me forget this.
"Hey, little sister," she greeted me with a grin.
I sat down next to her. "How's college?"
She shrugged. "So far, so good."
"I'm going to bed," said Mom. "Good night." She then gave us each a kiss
and a hug and left the kitchen.
Alice smiled. "So...do you want to talk here or upstairs?"
Crap, was it that obvious? "Um, sure, let's go upstairs."
We went up to her room and sat down on the twin-sized bed. Now, back in
my old life, the only time I had ever gone into her room was to "borrow"
some of her clothes. It felt strange to go in there for a conversation.
"So tell me about him," she stated.
I told her about Bill.
"He sounds nice," she said.
"He is," I replied.
"Just be careful. I know you're protected, but there are other things to
worry about. Guys can be real jerks," stated Alice.
I just nodded. "We're going out next Friday."
She nodded. "So the Knights are going to lose somewhere else next week?'
I nodded. "They're even worse than last year."
"I wouldn't think that was possible," she said.
"I'm willing to bet they lose every game this year," I continued.
"Too bad you can't get someone to take that bet."
We both laughed. Actually, the reason why the team was so bad was that
we'd had a long teacher's strike two years ago, and many of the better
athletes had transferred.
"One thing you should tell him - his exhaust is really loud on his car,
even Mom heard it as he pulled in," said Alice.
"Thanks, I will. So, how do you really like college?" I asked.
"I hate it," she replied. "I'm thinking of quitting."
As I had said earlier, Dad wasn't big on girls going to college. Yes, he
was a little old fashioned in his views. The only way he allowed Jeannie
to go to college was to go to a nursing school.
"I'm sorry," I answered.
"I'll survive. I just know that there's no way that I'm going to be a
nurse. I love my classes, but I wish it was in a subject that was my
choosing. So what are you going to do?" she asked.
"I might join the military," I replied.
"You're kidding?"
I shook my head. "I can earn college money there, and there are some
pretty cool jobs. I mean, I'm a girl; I can't go into combat."
I know, I know, this would change, but this was 1977.
"That's true, have you told Mom and Dad about this?"
"Not yet, I want to get some info first. I'm going down to the recruiting
station in Lansdale next week to talk to them," I said.
Alice nodded. "Just don't sign anything."
"I won't," I replied.
"So, how does it feel to be eighteen?"
"Not that much different than seventeen...I haven't snuck over to Jersey
yet," I replied.
We both laughed. The previous Memorial Day, we had gone down to the
Jersey shore. Even though most of us were underage, no one got carded.
"You know, I had a really strange dream about you the other night," said
Alice.
"What was it about?" I asked.
"You were a guy," she said. "I mean, it seemed so real."
I stared back and wondered if she knew.
"Wow, so was I still your sibling?"
She nodded. 'You were a pain in the ass little brother...as opposed to a
pain in the ass little sister."
I picked up a pillow and tossed it at her.
"It was so realistic," she continued. "I almost called you to confirm you
were really a girl."
"When was the dream?"
"The other night...Monday night," she answered.
The same night that my change occurred; it couldn't be a coincidence,
could it?
"Tell me more," I asked.
"The weird thing was that even though you were a guy, you wanted to be a
girl. I caught you in here taking my clothes," continued Alice.
"That's pretty weird," I said.
"I know, you broke down and cried, telling me that you just wanted to be
a girl. I told you to make a wish and maybe it would be answered."
"Was it?" I asked.
"I don't know; I woke up before it ended - pretty strange, huh?"
"I'll say," I replied.
She looked at the clock. "Well, it's really late. Good night, little
sister."
As I drifted off to sleep in my bed, I thought about the dream that my
sister had told me about. Was there a connection?
Chapter 19
Now in my old life I had always been a big fan of science fiction,
especially stories involving time travel. You know, if you go into the
past and change one small thing how all of the future will be changed.
Well, things were definitely different. I was now a girl, and there was
no way I could repeat my old life. Additionally, I was changing the lives
of those around me. I mean, Bill never kissed me when I was a guy.
I thought about this all morning. I mean, I knew what had happened to my
family in the other timeline, could I...or more importantly, should I try
to change things?
First, my dad had health issues that were improperly diagnosed until it
was really too late. If I could steer him to a specialist now, could this
give him a better and longer life?
Second, later in her life my sister became a very successful
businesswoman, but she did it on her own through hard work. She would
quit college in the spring and go from one job to another before working
her way to the top. What if she chose this path sooner in her life? I
won't even get into her first marriage and the way her first husband
treated her, he was a total idiot. On the other hand, she had a really
good second marriage, so what would become of that?
I also had knowledge of the future that I could use to my advantage. I
mean, I could use it to make my family and myself financially secure. I'm
not talking just stocks and stuff like that, but I knew the winners of
every major sports championship for the next thirty years. I could place
bets in Vegas before the season started and make a killing.
But to be honest, I wished that I hadn't been left with this information
as it only complicated my life. I just wanted to be happy and whole; was
this so much to ask for?
There was something else bothering me. I had lived close to forty-eight
years as a guy, and for many of those I wanted to experience life as a
woman, including sex. Now I had the body and unfortunately the decades of
urges to go along with it. Now that I was dating Bill, I knew that it was
within my grasp. Yes, my sense of morality was presently strong enough to
hold it off, but for how long?
I woke up Saturday morning thinking about what it would be like to have
sex with Bill. Part of me argued what was the harm? I was on birth
control so the chance of getting pregnant was very low. On the other
hand, what would happen if I got caught or if Bill told everyone? I
didn't want to be known as a "bad girl" either. So much for everything
being perfect if I was a girl!
Chapter 20
Alice took me the mall to pick out something to wear to dinner.
"You have such a nice figure, you should wear clothes that show it off,"
she explained as we worked our way through the various clothing aisles of
one store after another. "Also, you should have some pretty things to
wear for your new boyfriend."
I just laughed.
"So when are you going to tell Dad?" she asked. "I would do it sooner
than later,"
"But not tonight, right?" I replied.
She nodded. "Tomorrow would be better. Of course, you'll have to
introduce Bill to Dad too."
"Why? Dad never cared who I dated before?"
"You last had a 'boyfriend' two years ago, little sister. Trust me, Dad
will want to meet him," said Alice. "Oh, this is perfect!"
She held out a short sleeveless black dress.
"This is something you really need in your wardrobe," continued Alice.
I nodded and took it to the dressing room, along with several other
items.
The dress fit perfectly. Yes, I knew all about the importance of a little
black dress in a wardrobe, but I played along. I was really enjoying my
time with my sister. Hey, I didn't even mind the little sister cracks.
I had the feeling that we would be even closer this time around.
Chapter 21
I wore the black dress to dinner that night. Both Mom and Dad were very
impressed.
"You look lovely," stated Mom. "Where's the camera?"
It wouldn't be a family event without photos; it was cool to see how some
things hadn't changed.
Alice's boyfriend agreed to take a photo of us.
Mom commented how happy I looked. I wish I could have told her how long I
had waited for a night like this. I was the person that I had always
wanted to be, or at least I was on the right path.
I had to admit that I loved the way the dress looked on my body, and I
also got a kick out of the way men at the restaurant looked at me as we
walked in. Thanks to Jeannie's help with my hair and makeup, I looked
like I was in my early twenties and not eighteen. The dress and high
heels didn't hurt.
I was surprised how easy it was to walk in the three inch heels. Okay, I
was enjoying being a flirt, but what girl wouldn't when she was going out
to celebrate her birthday.
Another nice thing about going to The Tremont was that, as they knew Dad,
the staff didn't question him when he ordered drinks for Alice and I. It
was pretty cool getting served a drink in a high-class restaurant.
To be honest, most of the night was blur, although I remember the
beautiful birthday cake that was brought out for dessert. It was
definitely the best birthday that I ever had.
It was much later in the evening, and Alice and I were the only ones
still up. I was still too keyed up to sleep.
We sat on her bed and talked for an hour.
"Hey, I wanted to give you this for your birthday, but I didn't think
that it would have been appropriate when everyone else was around," she
said as she handed me a small wrapped box.
I thanked her and opened it up. At first, I didn't know what to say when
I saw what was in the box.
"This isn't a joke," she said. "Look, there are times when you need to
get some relief."
I lifted the chrome plated vibrator out of the box.
'This is a really nice one...I have one just like it," continued Alice.
I was stunned, but tried not to show it. "Um, thanks," I replied.
"Hey, we all have urges," she said with a smile.
"Did you include batteries?' I asked.
"Of course," she replied. "Unfortunately, they don't last very long."
We both began to giggle, and soon we were laughing uncontrollably. It
took all our control not to be too noisy and wake up Mom and Dad.
Chapter 22
On Monday I got to experience my first time in the girls' locker-room.
Being I still had sexual feelings towards other women; I knew that I had
to be on guard. Just undress, change into my bathing suit and head out to
the pool.
Everyone had to wear the same style suit, a dark blue one-piece. Mine fit
pretty well, but I have to admit that I felt a little nervous as it was
rather form fitting.
The gym class was aquatic sports. We were broken up into teams to play
water polo or inner tube basketball, which consisted of sitting in a tube
and paddling towards the hoops. It was a lot of fun, and it made me
forget what I was wearing.
After class, I was getting dressed when I had the strange feelings that
someone was watching me. I had just put on my panties and was slipping on
my bra when the feeling became very strong. I didn't want to overreact,
so I casually glanced over my shoulder as I buttoned up my blouse. I
immediately made eye contact with a girl named Maureen.
I really didn't know her that well, in either timeline. She hung out in a
different crowd than me, as she was usually seen with the stoners.
Maureen was actually very attractive, although a little on the tough
side. She was around the same height as me, although she was a little
heavier and slightly muscular. She also had short black hair. She usually
dressed in jeans and rock t-shirts and wore very little makeup. I got the
impression that she was a bit wild.
When our eyes met, she winked and ran the tip of her tongue across her
lips. It was done so subtly that no one else saw it.
This caught me totally off guard, which obviously was what she was trying
to do. She cast a quick glance up and down my body and then gave me a
very slight nod.
I honestly didn't know what to do and just turned around and continued
dressing. Part of me was very excited, and part of me was terrorized. I
didn't need to be labeled a lesbian, even if I wasn't the one who
instigated it.
I also wondered why she came on to me; I mean, I had a nice body, but
there were plenty of other girls in the locker room who were more
attractive.
I also considered that it had all been my active imagination. I mean, I
did like girls, and I might have just misread her.
As I didn't have Maureen in any other of classes, I tried to put her out
of my mind, at least until my next gym class.
Chapter 23
Bill walked me to lunch and asked if we were still on for Friday evening.
We held hands the whole way.
"Of course," I replied.
"If I'm picking you up at your place, I suppose that your parents will
want to meet me," he said.
I nodded. I still hadn't told them about my date.
"It's okay, I have three older sisters, so I know the rules," he
continued.
"So where are we going?' I asked.
"How about the movies?" he asked.
That sounded pretty good, I thought. "Okay," I replied. 'That sounds like
fun."
"Can I give you a ride home from school today?" he asked hopefully.
I nodded. "I'd like that."
Chapter 24
I wasn't totally surprised that Bill suggested that we stop at his house
when we left the school parking lot; in fact, I was sort of hoping he
would. I suppose it was all the years I had spent wishing I was a girl,
but I really wanted to experience life as a female.
Both of Bill's parents worked, so we had the place to ourselves.
"I need to use your phone," I said.
He nodded and smiled when I told Mom that I was studying and wouldn't be
home for a while.
As soon as I hung up the phone, Bill took me by the hand and led me to
the rec-room. I sat down on a couch as he turned on the stereo. He then
reached behind the stereo and retrieved a small bag of pot.
"You want some?" he asked as the music started. It was the latest from
Hall and Oates.
Obviously, Bill remembered that I smoked from the summer party, and I
nodded. He smiled back and sat down next to me to roll a joint.
Okay, I know that this was happening too fast, but I didn't care; I
wanted to be Bill's girlfriend.
"My sister gets this from a friend at college," he said as he lit the
joint and passed it to me.
We listened to the music, talked and smoked the joint. It was just enough
to help us both feel mellow. I could tell that Bill was more nervous than
I was; which didn't make sense as boys are expected to be the one who
starts things.
"I'm really glad that we're going out," he said.
"Me too," I replied, so much for scintillating conversation.
"Um, do think that we could be...a couple? I mean, I really like you a
lot," he said.
"I'd like that," I replied as I took the joint from him. "I'd like to be
your girlfriend."
Bill smiled and leaned closed. He took the joint back and finished it
off. He then leaned over and kissed me.
It felt wonderful. Chills ran through my body as we embraced and kissed.
Now, I had no intention of doing anything further than kissing with
Bill...at least at this point of our relationship, so I wasn't worried
about going too far. Oh, I wanted to know what it was like to have sex as
a woman, and I really liked Bill, but it was too soon.
Still, the kissing was pretty good, and we both enjoyed it. I also knew
that I was his girlfriend now.
Later, Bill drove me home, and after a long kiss, I went into my house
like nothing had happened.
Chapter 25
Okay, even though I've been sort of focusing on it, my whole life didn't
revolve around sex. I was also preoccupied by my transformation and time
shift.
I wondered how this could have happened and whether it was just some
cosmic trick or if someone or something was behind it. I continued to
write in my journal about my past or was it my future? This is the kind
of thing that can really mess with your mi