Kate Draffen (Chapters 24 - 28) free porn video

KATE DRAFFEN (Chapters 24 - 28) By Swishy CHAPTER 24 "Dot! You scared the fuck out of me! Have you been sitting here waiting for me to come home?" "When you say it like that it makes me sound creepy," she said, wrapping her headphones around her iPod and putting it in her pocket. "Well, I definitely see it as creepy." "Creepy it is, then. I just miss being friends with you. I mean in over a week we've only said 35 words to each other." Dot was weird enough that I didn't find it strange the she had been counting every word we had said to each other. I suddenly remembered why we hadn't talked much in a week. "Look, you said some pretty mean things to me last week..." "I know," she said without saying sorry, "But have you noticed I've been very pleasant tonight? I haven't even called you 'Hootie'." She said it so earnestly that it was funny. "Well done," I snickered, "You also haven't shot me or raped me. You are being very pleasant." "Point taken." She smiled her lopsided, wry smile that didn't reveal any teeth. She was wearing the beanie she had knitted herself, over the summer to prove that she was so much more trendy than everyone else. Supposedly knitting was very trendy. Aside from a scarf this was her first item. She loved that little beanie and wore it around a fair bit. It definitely softened her usually cold look and made her look 3 parts kooky and only 2 parts spooky. "So..." Dot said as we meandered our way to the beach, the sounds of the sea drawing us in, "How was Deb practice?" "I have to wear a petticoat," I revealed and awaited the barrage of teasing. "Petticoat? Gemma, you've got a little girl's voice and a pron star's tits, I am pretty sure everyone already knows that you're a girl! You don't need to wear a petticoat." "But it goes with the dress," I said, feebly. Even Dot who was an inch shorter than me could make me feel tiny sometimes. "I can't believe you are doing your Deb again! I almost spat my coffee out when I read it in the paper," she then dropped her cynical, sarcastic veneer for a second, "It really sucks that I get all my news about my best friend from the newspaper." She had a point. We had spent too much time making our friendship a nice place to be and lately none of us were spending anytime there. "I've got so much to talk to you about," I said to her earnestly, "I've been living in my head for so long, trying to be the best girl I could be. But I really need someone to talk to. I am forced to talk to Annette 5 days a week but I really just say what I think she wants to hear. I really want to tell you things but I don't want you to tease me." "You never had a problem with me teasing you back before. We used to have a lot of fun joking around." We were now at my house but instead of going in, she followed me through the gate and down to the beach. "Yeah, but it just seemed to be more mean spirited when I became Gemma. I'll admit my skin isn't as thick as it used to be but surely it's not that hard to be nice to me for a little while. I mean, look at me!" I gestured wildly and my boobs wobbled to prove my point, "You'd be a little on edge if you changed this dramatically too!" Dot shivered a little even though it wasn't cold. That girl could be on the surface of the sun and still pull on a jumper. We didn't say anything for a while but it didn't feel awkward at all. Silence isn't always a bad thing, especially for two people who have a tendency to say the wrong thing to each other a lot recently. We ambled down the beach, just Dot and me. A lot of kelp had washed up in the last tide, so don't be imagining anything too picturesque, but it was still nice (as long as you didn't mind the smell). We walked close, side-by-side. It actually reminded a lot of the night when I lot my virginity to her, it was only a month ago but it felt like a whole other lifetime ago. Dot broke the silence, "I really wanna hear what's going on with you." It was the perfect thing for her to say. "Well, I'm really happy slash scared with how I'm progressing. I'm really getting a hang of being female, you know? I can choose clothes that kinda match, I feel comfortable in this body and how it moves now, and I can hook and unhook my bra behind my back now. Impressed? I know how to talk girl talk and how to behave which makes me happy because I like fitting in but I'm scared that I've lost a lot of what made me me, you know?" "Well, listening to you now I know that a little bit of Michael has disappeared but I don't think it matters much. You're just as good or maybe even better now." I looked at her. "I mean it, Gemma. You're like a sweeter, more compassionate version of Michael now..." Dot had made a nice moment bit knowing her there is no way she could leave it alone, "who dresses sluttier." I laughed, I had to. There was no real malice in that comment. All the acid that was dripping over her previous jabs was missing. "Slutty?" I queried. "How did you get those jeans on? Did Nicole sew you into them? They're really tight. And I don't know if you've been told but breasts don't need to breath, so feel free to cover them up once in awhile. Those puppies wont suffocate." I don't know what had changed but Dot's comments no longer seemed to hurt me. Maybe it was because I knew now that she really did like me and this was just her playing or maybe she really was trying to be nice now. It was probably a combination of both. "Maybe that's why yours are so small, Dot? Because they suffocated and died. Poor tiny little fellas! You never gave them a chance. If you want I could give them mouth-to-mouth, there still might be time!" Dot was one of the most flat-chested girls I had ever seen but she pulled it off well, I thought. She must have agreed with my thoughts. "No thank you. I like my tiny two the way they are." "Good choice, I've always got underwire digging into me." OK, so maybe I wouldn't trade in my magnificent pair for a Dot sized set but I'm sure I could find some pleasant middle ground. That thought alarmed me, I must have been enjoying being female too much, choosing my big boobs over no boobs at all. Although my outward party line was always, "I so wish I was a guy again," the truth of the matter was somewhat more complicated. While I would have liked my life to have continued being the normal, unremarkable life I was living there was a large (and growing) part of me that really was enjoying this exciting life and the body that started it all. Dot posed a question to me, "So, you are trying to impress a guy?" "What makes you say that?" "Just a guess. Mainly based on how you are dressed; sprayed-on jeans and all. Remember when you went through that vest-wearing phase because Holly once said she liked you in a vest?" It was true, in the bags of my male clothes that we donated to the Salvation Army, there was like 12 vests, more than any 17-year-old boy should ever own. But it looks like she was more attracted to obnoxious dickheads like Sobey than guys wearing vests. "I am in no way ready to handle a boyfriend, despite what my body wants. But my body wants to get Aaron Lekakis interested and keep him until my head is ready for it." "Why do you think you aren't ready?" "Well, Annette tells me that I'm still emotionally and sexually unstable..." Dot couldn't help herself and butted in, "Sexually unstable? Like if you sucked off a guy your head will explode?" I laughed, "Maybe. Actually she says it may put me in shock or something. She says it will probably be a year or more until I'm mentally ready for a boyfriend." "A year walking around as teenage Marylyn Munroe with no sexual release? That's going to make you sexually unstable!" As always Dot thought she knew more than everyone else, this time a medical professional. "What you need, Gemma Mae Taylor, is a big, thick, meaty cock!" "Funny," I laughed, "I used to have one on me somewhere," I patted myself down, looking for it. The house grew smaller and smaller as we kept walking. The thing about walking along the coastline is the shortest way is turning around and going back, Australia is much too large to consider going the long way around. "No, I'm serious! Nothing confirms your sexuality, your gender and your place in the world like a long, hard screw!" Now, Dot was usually fairly coarse when talking about sex, I was used to it. But there seemed to be something pushing her 'have sex' agenda that I was going to get to the bottom of. "You're quite pro-sex at the moment. What's brought that on?" "Nothing. I just think it's important that a person can express themselves sexually." "Oh yeah? Anyone I know?" I quipped. It was a little to dark to tell if she was blushing. "Maybe," the smile in her voice was obvious. "Who? Dot! Who's your boyfriend?" "He's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend... with benefits. After you and I spent the night together I realised there doesn't need to be love in sex. Friendship can be the perfect substitute. Love is a fucking volatile thing, friendships aren't as dangerous." She obviously was oblivious to the last few weeks then. "Dot, are you trying to tell me that you have a 'Fuck buddy'?" I air- quoted the term 'Fuck buddy' to make fun of her seemingly stupid plan. "Some people may call it that. He prefers the term 'Fornicating Amigos'." 'Fornicating Amigos' there was only one person who would think of something that stupid. "I can't believe you're rooting Glen!" I practically shouted. If you had asked me over a month ago what would have been more likely; me becoming an actual factual girl or Glen and Dot getting it off? I would have answered that although both seemed impossible there would have been a better chance of me growing a vagina. Dot was quick to leap to the defensive. "I didn't say it was Glen!" It so clearly was. "It so clearly is! A close friend with benefits? Hmm... I wonder who that could be? Kev? No, despite being very good-looking he drives you ape-shit! Mads? No, because he's too asexual for you and you don't like younger guys. Me? No, because I'm a girl now and we weren't even talking to each other until 20 minutes ago. That just leaves Glen." "Wow, I never knew Sherlock Holmes was so voluptuous!" Dot was evidently using her jokes as a defensive mechanism. "Ha ha," I said sardonically, "But I'm right." She didn't respond to that. I knew it. A jogger passed us, trying to not get tangled up in the masses of seaweed strewn around by the hands of the tide. I always imagined the sea treated the shore like it was the space underneath its bed, a place to chuck any old mess. And then it would miss the things it chucked underneath the bed and bring in the tide to pick it all up again. I felt a bit like the sea, mindlessly throwing things out and then frantically trying to get them back again. We sat down on a dune, Dot and me, it was no one's decision and we did it without saying anything to each other. "So, how do you like being a pretty girl?" Dot asked me. "It's actually fun. You should really try it some time," I teased her. My teasing came across as more childish than hers due to my little girl voice. "I sat on Aaron Lekakis' lap tonight and he got stiff. You know what? I really like having that power. I remember when I used to fear how much power Holly had over me, I mean, I would have done anything for her and now with a wiggle and a wink I have that same power!" "Oh is that why you hangout with the other walking hard-on factories, Alana Sturt and Lilly Bad-wee-wee?" "Badawi," I corrected her, "I've told you why they're my friends; they were willing to help me when all you wanted to do was tease the shit out of me. Plus, you said yourself a little sex in your life is good. Thanks to them I feel sexy in this body and not just clumsy." "There's a difference to being sexy and having sex." "You do know I'm just going to text Glen as soon as you leave and he'll tell me the truth." Glen really didn't lie for some reason. It wasn't for any moral reason either, I think the thought of lying just never crosses his mind, that or he's too lazy. Dot averted her eyes from the crashing waves and looked at me dead on, her square black fringe framing her face. "So what? So we're having it off, what's wrong with that?" Dot seemed to think that I was accusing her of some major crime or something. "Nothing at all. Except, this is pretty massive. He's like our best friend." "Upset you didn't get there first, Hootie?" When the situation didn't call for mean jokes Dot then went for just plain mean. "You said you were going to be pleasant and no, I don't find Glen attractive in that way," I told her and regretted it right away. You don't tell anyone that their boyfriend isn't hot, even if they refuse to admit that he is, in fact, their boyfriend. Dot snapped at me, "Oh, so you're too fucking hot for him, is that right?" and rightfully so. But I wasn't going to let her think that she could get away with being bitchy at me just because I was now a girl. If we were going to start this friendship anew there would have to be some new ground rules. "Come off it, Dot! You know that's not it! You're getting rather protective of something that is just sex. Don't you think you should make it a real relationship before one of you gets really hurt by the casualness of it all? You know that Glen is probably dying to call you his girlfriend," I breathed in for what seemed like awhile but my speech wasn't done yet, "Your wrong about replacing the love in sex with friendship. Sex is all about love and lust. They call it 'making love' not 'making friends'! Time to grow a pair and show your relationship with Glen some respect." Dot looked stunned. I think I was even more surprised at myself than she was. She pouted, "Your voice gets really squeaky when you're mad." "I know," she was right. I'm sure there were dogs pricking up their ears all over Marrang. "You know I'm right though." Dot smiled and punched me gently in the arm, "Don't make me admit it." So, my two best friends in the world were soon going to be a couple. It felt weird, after my body did a complete betrayal and turned me into this teenage sex goddess I thought the strangeness was over, apparently not. I leaned toward Dot, "We are officially friends again right? You're not going to wig out on me again?" "Who the fuck says 'wig out' anymore?" Dot inquired, "It's not the 60s or 70s or whenever 'wig out' was a cool thing to say, Daddy-O!" "Shut up," I laughed "and hug me." And so we hugged. Two friends entwined in a display of friendship that must be thousands of years old. And do you know how I knew that this time was going to stick? She didn't make some stupid comment about my boobs squishing her while she hugged me. Dot just sat back and enjoyed the hug. After it was apparent that we had both gotten what we needed out of this conversation we started the sandy trek home. "You do know I'm not going to stop being friends with Alana and Lilly? They'e a big part of my life too now," I told Dot, taking charge and laying out some ground rules. "That's fine, let them be the Qui Gon Jin and Obi Wan to your Anakin Skywalker," she said using terminology she knew that I would understand, "I love you like a sister but there is no way known I am going to dress you up like my own personal Bratz Doll, I'll leave that to Tweedle D-Cup and Tweedle Bum Floss!" She looked very pleased with herself. "How long did it take you to come up with that?" I asked. "That's what me and Glen call them." I could have guessed. "You and Glen. That's so weird!" I said, mainly to myself, "How is he at... you know?" "A lot like you were. Clumsy," Dot flatly said, "but diligent." That shut me up. We walked in silence once again with the sea continuing to be the soundtrack of our life. I had my best friend back and it felt kinda good. I think Annette was right in saying that a friendship is like trying to hold a piece of rope between two cars, you both have to be going in the same direction at the same speed to keep holding that rope. It was good to see that it was possible for someone to throw the rope back after we'd both lost our grip a little. And I knew we weren't always going to be able to hold that rope, we were never going in the precise same direction anyway, but I was going to enjoy it for as long as we could. Conversations flowed as freely as the frothy, salty expanse beside us. I told her about my new job and my trip to Sydney. She teased me about writing for Dolly Magazine but I think she was secretly jealous. I told her about trying my best efforts to steal Aaron away from Lilly and she told me I was an idiot. Dot then told me that without my company she had thrown herself into her schoolwork and was now two months ahead. It felt good to tell each other things. "So what brought you around tonight to reconcile?" I asked her as we neared my house. Dot stopped walking. "I did something today that I felt really guilty about because I was mad at you. I'd love to leave it just at that but it's going to be on national TV probably tomorrow so..." "You're not the one behind the A Current Affair story, are you?" I groaned. I was already dreading what they were going to do with the footage of me freaking out. I was sure they were going to edit it in such a way to make it look like I am some psychotic bitch. "I'm not the one behind it all," she jumped to her defence again but then she quietly continued. So quiet, as if she didn't want to hear what she was saying herself, "But they did come around this afternoon and I did tell them that I thought you were being selfish and conceited by doing the Deb Ball." "Dot? You didn't! 'Selfish and conceited'! Get fucked!" I was quite ready to speed up and make a sharp turn, leaving Dot unable to hold onto the rope any longer. "Most of these girls wait their whole life to do their Deb and you suddenly grow a pussy and decide 'sure, me too'. It doesn't sound fair to me." "1, I was doing my Deb long before I 'grew a pussy'. 2, it's not like they wont get to do their Deb anymore; I'm doing it with them not instead of them. And 3, you don't even like the Deb. You called it a 'disgusting ancient fuddy-duddy ritual where fathers auction off the fruit of their loins for the highest bidder'. And while I'm at it, 4, Fuck you! You don't understand that I need to do this Deb for myself. It's a confirmation of everything I have been working hard for." I sped up, not in the metaphoric car but my walk, trying to get home all the more quickly. And then it happened. More miraculous than the tiny nanobots that entered my blood stream and converted me into the weeping girl storming down the beach. Something so surprising that I was amazed that the ocean didn't scamper miles away in fear. "Gemma!" Dot called out, "I'm sorry!" Dot had never uttered those words before and meant it. I was unaware that she could say those two and a half words at all. "I'm sorry!" She did it again, even louder and more sincere than the last time. She actually was apologetic over something she had done, I wondered if the people at the Guinness Book of Records would be interested in hearing about this. I turned around to hear her out. "Look, even as I did it I knew I was being a total cow. But I was really angry with you. I mean, you have this whole new life with new friends, a new job, a whole new outlook on life and the most exciting thing I've done lately is give Glen a blow job during The Man Who Knew Too Much. I know that it's wrong but I can't help but think how annoying it is that you were dealt a really bad hand but you seem to have won the game." Dot was having troubles putting the very obvious into words, so I thought I would help her. "So... you are saying that you are jealous of me?" "I think I am. I'm afraid that I need you a lot more than you need me. We've been fighting for like two weeks and in that time you've turned your whole life around without me. You're prettier than me too, which is annoying. You're right. I'm jealous of you! I'm sorry, I really am. It's just something I'll have to deal with. Why didn't you come out as an uggo?" So we hugged again and she walked back to her house by herself, trying to cope with her feelings of jealously and actual real remorse. I quietly wandered into the house. Since they both had early starts in the morning both Mum and Nicole had given up waiting for me to get home and had gone to bed. I'm sure they were chomping at the bit to hear stories from my first Deb practice as Gemma but they could wait until tomorrow. I crept into our bathroom for a quick shower before bed. I quickly undressed without thinking much about it. My reflection no longer scared me like it used to, I recognised the girl in the mirror. I looked at the acquaintance between my legs, tucked away between my thighs. My thighs weren't the best hiding place though, my legs were skinny enough as too leave a gap at the top, even with my legs fully closed. I reached around behind my legs and poked a finger through. Wiggling it around it looked like I had a very small but very active cock. I stifled a giggle. This body had conjured up jealousy in Dot and caused Aaron an embarrassing erection. Despite the skinny little arms and legs this body was quite powerful. I thought about all of the modelling offers Tyler had told me about. In an exercise of pure vanity, I posed for the mirror, contorting my body into various 'sexy' poses. I cupped my breasts like the models in lad's mags. I turned, showcasing my butt to the mirror and looked back and made a shocked face, like they had caught me in a candid moment. I was getting aroused, not by my own reflection but knowing how aroused men would find these images. I secretly loved getting Aaron all hot and bothered knowing that his penis would have quite readily penetrated me. I spanked my firm little naked bum and watched it in the mirror. I wished Aaron was here to see this; it would make him forget that Lilly even existed. I watched my nipples hardening, which is an interesting thing to do. My clit did the same, but I couldn't see it only feel it. It was like having three penises that were tiny scattered over my body. A hand slipped in between my legs and ever so gently rubbed. I moaned a little more loudly than I had anticipated. I watched myself in the mirror and wondered how many people wished that they could see this. This was turning from a lad's mag glamour shoot to a hardcore masturbation session very quickly. My bare feet clopped down the hall to my bedroom. The plan for a shower had been abandoned in favour of a more playful way to spend my time. While my right hand still fingered my sweet, little pussy my left hand opened my bedside drawer. It hastily grabbed around until it found what I had told it to find. I pulled it out, got comfy on my bed, my knees a fair width apart and turned it on. My finger felt so inadequate as I slid in the vibrator. While my finger did the trick, fingers were used for many things. My vibrator was built for one purpose and one purpose alone, to pleasure me. And it was good at its job. The walls in our dilapidated old shack were paper-thin, so I hoped the other occupants were sound asleep. I manoeuvred the pleasure device inside me slowly and deliberately. I still was relatively new at it all and I was still learning about what felt good. I thought about Dot and Glen and the clumsy sex they were having. It seemed topsy-turvy that they were having sex and this body, seemingly built for pleasure, was going hungry. Maybe Dot was right, if I felt the craving I was ready for sex. Dot seemed to know me better than Annette. And what did Annette know anyway? The only other SGR suffer she had worked with extensively was John Draffen and according to everyone I was coping markedly better than he was. Contemplating real sex made the simulated sex I was having too much fun. "Arrgh!" I moaned as one of my fingers tickled my clit. I orgasmed... Even after several orgasms I couldn't believe how much better it felt compared to my old orgasms. I couldn't wait until I had sex for real. CHAPTER 25 Today was going to be a big day. I had decided I was finally comfortable enough with my gender that I wouldn't change into my sports clothes in the solitary confinement of the toilets anymore. I was going to change in the girls' change room. "What brought that decision on?" asked Alana as we walked there with a couple other 'Group A' people. "I'm now proud and comfortable with my body," I told them, my voice full of confidence. "And so you should be. You're hot!" Alison told me. "You really should film something as monumental as that," joked Cameron, "For prosperity's sake!" A lot of the boys treated me like one of the girls now, which I really liked. I think if I had followed Dot's advice and not lived out the role of a pretty girl I would have ended up a total outcast, more so than her. But because I made such an effort to fit in the boys teased me, talked to me and flirted with me like any other girl. I often wondered if any would actually go out with me or perhaps the social stigma of me being a former guy would be too strong. The girls and boys separated at the fork and the boys went into their change rooms and we went into ours. This was the dream come true for Michael, I actually had permission to go into the girls change room while they actually changed but as Gemma I was more nervous than excited. Because we were the cool kids, we were fashionably late, a whole heap of girls were already in various states of undress. The room had a peculiar smell, like too much BO and too much deodorant at the same time. I didn't know where to look, was I supposed to give the other girls smiles and nods or was I supposed to look dead ahead and say nothing? Us 'A' girls took our positions along the back wall. No one else was there, as if it was reserved for us. I diligently waited to follow the lead from everyone else. Behind me the voices had lowered to a whisper, probably all about me but I had expected that. "Don't panic," Alana told me, "We haven't got anything that you don't have." She started casually unbuttoning her school dress as if nothing was wrong. So did all the other cool girls, I wasn't any different to them so I joined in. "Oh here's a tip," Alana educated me, "Put on your shorts before taking off your dress to stop yourself showing off your undies." Her boxers slid to the floor. "Aren't you Miss Helpful today?" I said, sounding quite happy as I tugged down my boxers underneath my dress. Alison got her sport shorts out of her bag, all the cool girls wore extra tight bike shorts to P.E. class instead of the stock standard baggy shorts that the school provides. They also buy their tops a size too small so it's more form fitting. You don't become a 'Group A' girl without being a Class A flirt. Alana, Lilly, Danielle, Becca and Alison all simultaneously wriggled into their form fitting shorts, it looked like a new dance sensation. I reached into my bag to retrieve my shorts. My hands touched the parachute material that the school made the shorts out of but moved on. I rummaged around the bag a little more and found my other shorts. I had bought my own pair of bike shorts to fit in more with my friends. I followed suit and danced my way into my tight, black spandex, bike shorts. "Hey, nice shorts!" Becca noticed them as I was pulling them up. "Thanks Becca. Thought I join in." The cool girls all then reached into their dresses and began unclipping their bras. "You don't have to take off your dress to get out of your bra either," I was told by Alana as she wriggled around. I was surprised to see the hottest girls in school, all of whom wear tighter and more provocative clothes than necessary, being so modest. But I towed the line, clumsily taking off my bra while still wearing my dress. My former male dream of the girls Changing Room where public bouts of nudity were standard was fading fast. I looked around, this demure style of changing clothes was the norm. While a few of the girls appeared to be topless it was only for a split second and only viewable from the back. I followed everyone else's lead and squeezed into my Sports Bra in the privacy of my school dress. Finally the dress came off and I slipped on the sports polo top, just like the rest of the A girls, a size too small. Despite a flattening by the sports bra my chest still looked impressive, encased by the tight polo top. "Looking good!" Alana enthused. "You too," I echoed. We scampered out into the gym, not wanting to be late. Mr. Dellaqua was known to throw shoes when he was angry with people, no joke. We walked in single file down the corridor like a row of sexy ducks. The sports bra was constricting but necessary, it seems quite weird that this body wasn't designed for running. Big boobs have been around forever, I wasn't the first victim. I wondered how did the large-chested cavewomen coped when being chased by sabre-tooth tigers. We all stood together by the wall, a bubble of trendiness surrounding us. I really liked being a Group A girl, there was an air of unattainability around us - the girls wanted to be us and the boys... well, you know what they wanted to do to us. I liked it that I was taken under the wing by Group A girls, I could have just as easily become a freaky Group C weirdo, chatting to me myself and annoying everyone. I noticed Glen noticing my shorts. "Like what you see?" I said spinning around. "I thought you were going to use your super powers for good?" He was a nerd 'til the end, "I know we're friends but it's actually the law that I have to check you out, Gemma Taylor." "Understandable," I agreed. He probably wasn't aware that I knew about his 'Fornicating Amigos' relationship with Dot yet. He was probably even less aware that I had advised her to turn it into a real relationship. Glen was a helpless romantic. When we were younger we used to have sleepovers all the time. It was the perfect forum to wax lyrical about girls we loved. For me it was either my ex-girlfriend Laura or Holly, while Glen used to have a huge crush on Selma before he moved onto the much more beyond his reach, Alison Sorokin. Let's just say he has a large pile of poems about undying love that he would be very embarrassed if I brought them out. "So, how was your grand return to the Deb, Shorty?" "Not horrible. Some people are annoyed that I'm going to be the Belle of the Ball but fuck them!" I hated how high pitched my voice would go when I became indignant. "Yeah, fuck 'em!" Glen's mock enthusiasm was entertaining. "Get fucked!" I told him and added under my breath "Opps! You already are." Mr. Dellaqua broke into the room like a marauding drove of warriors. "On your feet! OK, today we will be separating you into boys and girls..." "And Taylor!" shouted Trevor Tull, the class clown. The room collectively winced. Teasing me (in public at least) was considered extremely taboo. The teachers have had lessons on how to treat me appropriately and the students have had lessons on how to respect me. The message was simple: Gemma Taylor was untouchable, at least for the time being. I was aware that people were teasing me horribly behind my back and I had learnt to not think about it. While I could probably deal with a gentle amount of ribbing I was glad it was being curbed by the school. I knew first hand that people could be very hurtful and not even know it. "Tull!" screamed Mr Dellaqua in a voice that was reserved for his angriest moments, "You're coming with me to the Principal's office." The room fell deathly quiet as Trevor slowly walked beside Dellaqua. "I'll be back in a few minutes, do laps around the gym until I'll be back in when I'm finished with this idiot." I am sure somewhere in the rule book there is something about not calling your students idiots, but Mr. Dellaqua was a Phys. Ed. Teacher and thus had probably never read anything for the last 15 years. I felt the very familiar feeling of everyone looking at me. I shrugged as if to say, "Wasn't my fault!" Hopefully, nobody blamed me for whatever happened to Tull on his way to and at the principal's office. Nobody started running laps right away, we knew time was on our side before we had to. Becca came up to me, "That was so mean what Trevor said. He's such a wanker!" "I'm not bothered. It was harmless. I hear worse from my Mum!" I told her and it was true. "I just hope they give him a detention and not expel him or something rash like that. People always walk on eggshells around me." "Screw him," Alison joined in, "He's a dickhead! He deserves what ever he gets." Some of the more nerdy participants in my class started to run laps around the gym, although Mr. Dellaqua was still ages away. "At least I got us out of a few minutes of punishment," I said, seeing the good side of things. The class split up into groups: the dorks, too scared of Mr. Dellaqua began to run laps, the rest of the class began to chat to each other and the 'cool kids' all huddled together, not bothering to mix with anyone else. The boys tried to impress the girls with a competition to see who could do the most push-ups. "Hey, you're wearing the bike shorts - The official uniform of a girl who knows she's hot!" Aaron approached me. "Just trying to fit in. Do you like?" I certainly liked the way Aaron looked in his tight shorts. "Hmmm..." he studied me, "I'm not sure." I leaned and said softly, "Let me sit on your lap and we'll find out." "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?" "Nope." I liked the relationship I had going with Aaron; friendly, fun and honest. It would love for him to be that type of boyfriend; one that would enjoying joking around with me and much as fooling around with me. Maybe Dot was right, maybe I was ready for a boyfriend. I was becoming a little aroused thinking about it and I hoped the signs were not too visible. "I enjoyed last night, I actually think I am going to enjoy this Deb business." "Yeah, well, you've got it easy. I've got to dance in high heels and a petticoat," I complained. "Well Gemma, the trade off it that everyone will be staring at you. Nobody is even going to notice I'm standing beside you." "And rightfully so." He corralled me into a corner of the gym. "Gemma," he began, "I need to talk to you." I hoped that he needed to talk to me for romantic reasons. I deftly adjusted my hair, trying to look my best for him. I licked my lips, trying to make them look more moist and inviting. I had made such an impression on him last night that wanted the privilege of putting his hands on my body whenever he wants. -Shoulders back, chest out, deep breaths. Now just listen and act surprised.- "Look, you've really been great to me," he began, "and ever since we hung out at Macca's party you've been so cool." I looked at my soon-to- be boyfriend; he was perfect. He had a goofy, sweet face, short curly dark hair and a body with better definition than a dictionary. He was going to be a fantastic boyfriend and I would prove to him that I was all woman. "Now, since you are so awesome, do you think you can do me a favour?" -Oh, don't worry Aaron, you'll be doing me a favour.- "Of course, buddy," I said casually, "My mission in life is to please you." Aaron continued, "Well, as you've probably noticed we've been flirting like crazy since the party..." -Oh yes! I've noticed.- "And after last night I'm fairly certain that we'd be great together." -Better than most.- "So I was wondering if..." -Here it comes, Gemma. Your next big step to becoming a real woman.- "You would find out only Lilly likes me or if she like likes me." Oh. Shit. I have read this situation wrong. "Of course!" I grinned as hard as I could, "I'm already fairly certain that she like likes you. I mean, that's what she's told me. Plus I've already told you that you're hot, you're like one of the hottest guys in the entire school, Aaron. Any girl would be thrilled to be asked out by you. Just go for it!" "I know, but I haven't been 'hot' for very long so I'm still a little shy. I mean 4 months ago I was a chubby guy and now I'm all of a sudden 'hot'. Even though I'm in this 'hot' body I'm still in my 'chubby' mind, you know? Well, obviously you do know." Suddenly, all the bulging muscles melted away and I could see the Fat Aaron again, sitting quietly at the back of the class not saying anything to anyone, especially the girls. "I've had a crush on Lilly since Year 9, Gem! I just don't want to mess it up. You know they say the nice guy will eventually get the girl? Well, it took me like 6 months of exercising and dieting and working out but finally I can get the girl. So, you'll double check for me right?" "Of course," I said to Aaron, although I felt like I was talking to Michael. I think in high school the most romantic creature of them all is the boy dreaming after the impossible girl. It was me going after Holly, Glen going after Alison and Fat Aaron dreaming of Lilly. I knew that it didn't matter how hot I became or how much I flirted with him, Lilly has his dream girl and would always come first. I hoped she appreciates him. There was a whistle blast that shocked everyone. It wasn't Mr. Dellaqua; he was still AWOL with the troublesome Trevor Tull. It was Ms. Pike, the female equivalent of Mr. Dellaqua, only fonder of pain. "Listen up, Year 11s! Mr. Dellaqua is going to be stuck up at the office for a while so I will be taking the girls to join in with my Year 8 Netball class, while the boys can join Mrs. Moorefield who is running football with the Year 8 boys." Luckily nobody shouted, "What does Taylor do?" I didn't want to lose another P.E. teacher to the bureaucracy of Gemma Taylor slander. However, I did wish I counted as a boy on this call. Mrs. Moorefield was as nice a teacher as you could get and would probably just let us go and have a study period instead. Mrs. Pike on the other hand was mean. It seemed to me like every morning some stranger would walk into her house and would punch her in her face everyday and instead of fighting back or calling the police she would just spend her entire day taking it out on her students. "Oh great! A double period with Mrs. Dyke!" Alison whispered to me. Did I mention that she had a nickname? Netball, for a girl's game, is really hard. Or more accurately playing netball against a 13-year-old girl who towers over you is hard. According to my bib I was 'GK' or our team's Goal Keeper but there wasn't any actual proof of that. Despite being yelled out to 'keep my hands up' and 'get in there and stop her', I wasn't doing such a good job in the goal circle. This child was dominating me, using her long legs to beat me to the ball, easily blocking my feeble throws to my team mates and even not noticing me at all when I tried to block her shots at goal. A girl in a training bra was beating my arse well and truly in the goal circle. What made things worse was she looked up to me. "Wow! You're Gemma!" she said when she came up to my end of the court. "Hi," I said, almost condescendingly, "What's your name?" "Mandy," she told me, "I think you've been really awesome." She was one of those girls who get a growth spurt and they get it early. She was rail thin, with twigs for arms and legs. She was the anthesis of voluptuous. She was probably taller than all the boys in her class too and she would be until they got their growth spurts. She had long brown hair that looked like chocolate syrup that had been drizzled all over her head. The fact that she had braces made her look even younger, like 8. And yet she could beat my arse all over the court. Without even breaking a sweat. I thought my new body was pretty diminutive and somewhat weak but I never thought it would have been that much of a problem because all girls were small and weak. But it is extra humiliating to realise that among girls I was in the smaller and weaker categories. There were certain things I couldn't do anymore. I needed the stepladder to reach the top shelf in the pantry now, just like Nicole and Mum. I actually had to get Alana to help me get the lid off my orange juice the other day. And while these all sound funny and cute I meant one thing to me - I depended on other people now. It was a worry I thought about for the rest of the day. Being Gemma made me less independent. Mum banned me from walking by myself at night now because I might be attacked. What happened when I moved away by myself and I couldn't open the orange juice bottle? Would I have to go without? From a body that felt so powerful sexually yesterday was feeling pretty useless physically today. And that wasn't the only thing on my mind. "So, who do you think it is that bitched about you to A Current Affair?" asked Alana on our way to English class. "Ummm... I don't know. Some coward who didn't have the guts to come and talk to me." "I didn't say anything to the camera crew last night but I wanted to deck them all!" Alana was quite a loyal friend, "Are you going to watch it tonight?" "I guess so," I admitted, "I want to see how they cut my little outburst at them." "Well," Lilly began, "I told them that I thought you and Aaron had every right to be there and were going to make a wonderful couple." I had bit my tongue all through P.E. but I had to do it now. "Speaking of wonderful couples, guess who was asking about you today?" Lilly's eyes lit up, "Who?" "Aaron wants to know if you like like him." I'm not going to lie to you, it did sting a little to say it. But as the old saying goes, 'Bros before hos', except I guess for me now it is 'Hos before bros'. "Yay!" she clapped her hands, "Finally! If I had to flirt with him any harder my hands would have had to be in his pants! Tell him I absolutely like like him." I was happy that a hopeless romantic like Aaron was finally going to get his dream girl. I felt like there was hope for me yet. "His body is so hot! He's like the most buff guy in school!" "Well, he thinks you're pretty hot yourself, Lil," Lilly smiled at that, "He's had a crush on him since Year 9!" "Wow," she seemed genuinely surprised, "I didn't even know he existed until this year!" Maybe his dream girl wasn't exactly what he wanted. "Annette! There's going to be a story about me on A Current Affair tonight!" I whined during our session together. Despite my assurances that I would be fine without her, I still met with Dr. Annette Fischer Monday to Friday, 45 minutes every day. She wasn't the best person to talk to and she often shot me down in her precessional, condescending way but I understood that she wasn't going to leave me alone anytime soon. So each day was the same combination of agreeing with her how wonderful it was to be a girl, complaining about stuff that was annoying me and tuning out during her gross lectures on how my new physiology works. She pushed her glassed up higher on her nose. "I know, Gemma. The school has released a statement on how proud they are of all of their student and how every single student is afforded the same opportunities to experience our wide range of extra curricular activities, no matter their race, belief system or gender." "Wow," I said, unable to keep my eyes from rolling, "Nice counter attack!" "Your school thinks the best defence is to portray you as an ordinary student who is living a normal life." I know it's highly unlikely but I am sure Annette is part Vulcan. There is just a certain quality to the way she says things to make her appear to be the daughter of Mr. Spock. "Well, that's logical," I said her, but she had no idea I was teasing her. I laid back on the wheelchair, trying to pop a wheelie. Whenever the conference room was busy with a heads of department meeting or something we were forced to have our little meetings in one of the sick bays, which I liked more - more props. "I know people bitch about me behind my back but it hurts when they take it to national TV. Not only that, Dot said that she had some snide things to say about me to the TV crew too." "How are things with you and Dorothy?" Why Annette felt the need to call Dot 'Dorothy' I'll never know. "Pretty good actually. We made up last night and I actually had lunch with her and Glen today. First time in ages. It felt good to hang around with my old friends, you know. Reminded me of being Michael." "Gemma, you know I don't like you referring to yourself, pre-SGR as a separate identity." It was true, I would get a verbal wrap on my knuckles whenever I did it. At first I refused to admit that Gemma and Michael were two different people and even now I don't think I am truly separated from Michael. I think I am one and a half people. "So, you feel Dot is a positive influence on your life?" Sometimes Annette would ask questions that were so obviously leading somewhere that I would refuse to answer them but sometimes she would ask a real question that would make me have to think. "Umm..." I spun the wheelchair around a little, "It's hard to say what a good effect is anymore. I don't really have a mission statement on who I want to be. I mean I have really enjoyed learning how to be a proper, functional girl, you know, inside and out. And Alana and Lilly and Alison and Becca have all been really great at that. Because of them I'm proud of my body, I'm proud of my status in life, I actually enjoy being a girl. But Dot is important to me because she keeps me from forgetting where I came from. I think it's possible to keep both influences." Annette listened to me, really listened. "You know what? I think you're right. It is important that you keep social, make new friends, develop old friendships..." "Have a boyfriend," I added. Annette leaned forward, "Gemma, we've been through this. I think the idea of you getting involved romantically or sexually with anyone is an unwise one. Your whole psyche is reforming and you still have a lot of deep personal issues you need to work through before contemplating an intimate relationship. I know your body is highly sexual and that how have certain urges but we have discussed the alternatives. Have you been masturbating?" Not a question I would like to be asked by anyone but I guess it was for my health. "Yes, Doctor. I masturbate." "To the point of orgasm?" Wow, she really liked to make conversations awkward. "Oh God yes!" I mimicked my voice during the throes of passion. "No need to be silly, Gemma." "Do you masturbate?" I enjoyed turning the tables on Dr. Fischer whenever the line of questioning gets too personal. "Yes, Gemma. I'll think you'll find that a lot of healthy adult women do." "Does John Draffen masturbate?" In every session I would ask about him. He seemed to be like my cracked mirror images and the more I learnt about him the more comfortable I felt with the crazy life I was leading. "Of course he does." "Is he cool? I mean, am I going to like him when I meet him?" I was all booked in to meet him at his house on Friday. I would lie awake at night and wonder what he was really life. "John has been through a very tough time with his transformation. I know you have found life difficult, post SGR but he is practically a shut in. You must remember to be careful around him. He can get a little agitated." Annette talked about him as if he was a bad tempered housedog. I wished she treated him with a little more respect. "But he's OK, right? I can still have a conversation with him?" "Oh yes, he's quite lucid most of the time," Annette cheerfully informed me. Wow! 'Lucid'! This guy sounds pretty impressive. "OK, let's move on. I have to conclude my little discussion about your menstrual cycle." I wondered on the walk home whether missing out on my Japanese vocabulary test was worth listening Annette talk about menstrual blood for 15 minutes. The good news was that Annette said that soon she would return to Sydney and would only see me on a weekly basis. She said that was because I was developing well and was coping with the many difficulties I faced with thought. Life wasn't too bad. Tomorrow I was being flown first class to Syndey where I would be treated like a princess for days and then meet John Draffen, the only person in the entire country that had some idea of what I was going through. This would culminate in a glitzy party for yours truly. But first I had some TV to watch. "Welcome to A Current Affair," it had begun. Mum, Nicole, Ben and I all sat in the chairs blinded by the massive TV Mum bought. Nicole and Mum were already spitting chips, ready to tear the show, its producers and host limb from limb. The host must have not known her fate because she continued talking. "Every year in many schools around the country, girls' dreams of becoming a princess for just one night are coming true. The Debutante Ball is an Australian institution designed to introduce young women into the social world. But in one school in Victoria with one rather infamous student has ignored some of their less famous students." Mum and Nicole both booed. I tried to tell them that no one could hear them boo but it didn't seem to bother them. The screen cut to a girl. I knew her, she went to my school. She was actually doing her Deb. I knew her name. Mum and Nicole fell silent. "Gemma Taylor's inclusion in the Debutante Ball line is a total mockery of the values of the whole event!" The girl looked angry. I looked angry right back. I felt hurt, betrayed and mostly, confused. The girl on camera was pretty even when she was angry, her pretty blonde hair glowed in the light, her eyes, filled with frustration was the prettiest shade of blue. "That's Holly!" Nicole shouted. CHAPTER 26 My head couldn't wrap around what it was seeing. Even my very own eyes had trouble believing themselves. On a national news program, A Current Affair, someone I would have considered one of my best friends, was bashing me. "I like Gemma, I really do, I just think that her doing the Debutante Ball would be a distraction from the real girls who have all put in a real effort." And now my ears had problems believing. Holly had gone all Brutus on me, right in front of my very eyes. I sat there, quietly seething. I couldn't think of a way to label this treachery. "What a fucking whore!" Nicole said and that seemed to fit well. My mobile phone rumbled with the force of 100 angry allies: Lilly- don't get 2 stressed gem hol is a such bitch Cameron- We can beat her up. Just say the word. Becca- What a bitch! Ur so much hotter than she is! I've got your back! Alana- Why is Holly doing this? This is so not like her. Glen- catfight ! Cue the sad music as the camera lingered on Holly, a cute and highly marketable teenage girl. "Holly Morrissey has been dreaming of doing her Debutante Ball her entire life," the 'reporter' informed us. "Everywhere Gemma goes she is followed by a whole huge mess of photographers and paparazzi. I know to most people that would be there idea of their own personal hell but Gemma actually seems to enjoy the attention," Holly told the camera. The program then cut to a quick montage of me posing with various camera crews; smiling and signing autographs at the beach, wearing a geeky smile and waving while walking out of a shop carrying a lot of clothes bags, reluctantly showing off my party clothes at Macca's party and twirling in my school dress on the first day of school. The montage did drive home the point I was a camera whore of some degree. What they failed to show was the hours of footage of me trying to ignore the line of photographers I seemed to be dragging around with me, looking positively glum because of their presence, politely asking for my privacy and right out abusing them. I just hoped that the viewing public was as savvy about selective editing as I was becoming. There was a close-up of Holly wringing her hands in anguish, all the while my phone shook with the force of people willing to wring her neck. I always hated the close up of the hands, it was so clich?d. "While I admire Gemma Taylor's quest to become like a real female he has to remember there more to it than wearing a ball gown and dancing around." While that whole sentence was spiteful and mean the real kicker was that she called me a 'he'. How dare she! "What do you think would be the best course of action for him?" The reporter was doing it too! "I think Gemma should just bow out gracefully and stop our little Deb Ball becoming a media frenzy." I didn't create the frenzy! Stories like this create frenzy! I squirmed in slowly venting anger while Mum draped a supportive arm around me. "And before you jump to conclusions about young Holly's motivations you should know the truth," the reporter said in a conspiratorial voice. "I have been one of Michael Taylor's best friends for years," Holly proclaimed, "I was the first person he told about having Spontaneous Gender Reconfiguration too. I comforted him that night while he cried." "Bullshit! You wouldn't even have sex with me!" I yelled at the TV a little too loudly. Mum and Gemma shared a weird look between them. "What?" I shrugged, "The doctor told me I should have sex while I could." "But either the fame and money or something about being Gemma has turned him into a selfish and self-absorbed thing." I'm a girl, damnit! Not a 'he' or a 'thing' but a fucking girl! "Gemma is always looking out for himself and always wants special rules just for him," Holly complained. The program cut to the reporter standing out front of our school, the flags blowing patriotically in the sea breeze. "While a representative of Marrang College refused to be interviewed by A Current Affair they did release this statement saying, 'We are very proud of Gemma Taylor, as we are of all of our students. At Marrnag College every single student is afforded the exact same opportunities to experience our wide range of extra curricular activities, no matter their race, belief system or gender.' A nice sentiment. I wonder if it's true?" He then walked off screen as if he was rushing off to the story's next location. "The Debutante Committee refused our entrance as a couple," said two people I knew from school. I didn't know them too well, they kept to themselves, just a tantrum away from pure Group C weirdo territory. The spent their lunch breaks and a lot of their skipped classes sitting behind the Trade wing, smoking cigarettes and making out. Sometimes the Year 8 boys would hide on some bushes around there, hoping for a glimpse. "When Tracy and Donna entered their paperwork to be as couple to in this year's Debutante Ball at Marrang College, they were resoundingly refused." "They said that a lesbian couple did not count as an actual couple. If we wanted to do the Deb Ball we would have to find male partners," Donna said as if that was the greatest travesty in the world. They were both troublemakers always pushing the rules as far as they could and complaining as loud as they could when the rules started pushing back. They always had some petition hanging on the Year 11 Hall's wall, trying to get some rule changed. I'm sure they saw themselves as persecuted freedom fighters, everyone else just saw them as annoying faux-lesbians. "In a separate statement from the school it defends that particular ruling by saying, 'The Debutante Ball is in no way an expression of sexuality and while we celebrate the diversity of our students we strive to uphold the traditions of generations of Debutante Balls'." I understand the quest for rating but did they have any idea what sort of storm they were brewing? "Does it seem fair to you girls that Gemma Taylor is allowed to be a Debutante and your were refused?" The reporter must have practiced that look of compassion in the mirror only minutes before the camera started rolling because it looked quite convincing. They both shook their heads, heads covered in heavy make-up and piercings. Donna, the obvious leader spoke up, "No. It's not fair at all." I promptly buried my face in my hands, massaging my temples. These were two completely different problems! A Current Affair were only muddying the waters with these posers! "We tried to get more comments from other students about this dilemma but the school has effectively gagged them, threatening suspension and even expulsion for speaking to us. Interestingly two students did break their vow of silence to speak to us, firstly Dorothy Newsom, Gemma Taylor's closest companion." The program cut to Dot, looking very bitchy indeed, standing out front of her house. "Dot?" exclaimed my sister. "No, it's OK. She told me. We're cool." Dot interrupted our conversation, "While I support Gemma in all of her actions I think that her doing the Deb is a little self-absorbed and conceited of her." Pretty much exactly what she told me she had said. In fact, if she said more they didn't show it. The segment barrelled on, trying as hard as they could to wreck me. "The only other student willing to break the school imposed gag order was Gemma herself. Here's the unusual outburst that awaited our reporter just last night." Cut to footage of me mid-tantrum. Of course they cut out the first part where I was quite sane, they even cut out the question that set me off, all the audience got to see was me, getting in the cameraman's face. "I think my jeans are tight enough to see that I am an ACTUAL girl! Get a close-up, you perverts!" Without context it made me look insane. It obviously wasn't me at my most sane, I must admit, but leaving out the rest was ridiculous. "Does this look the type of person we should be introducing to polite society?" asked the reporter as if I was a murderer. They left a freeze frame of me up mid-freak out and Holly's comments were put over the top. The program cut to the reporter, back on the couch at Holly's house. "What would you say to Gemma if he was here now?" "I'd say, 'Gemma, please think of the girls who have been planning for this their whole life. Why would you want to ruin their night just so that you can prove some stupid point? Please think of the girls." Hmmm, I was thinking of the girls, well more accurately just one girl and what I would do to her if I got my hands on her. The host came back on screen and added to the story, "Since this story was filmed a student of Marrang College, Trevor Tull has been expelled for poking fun at Gemma Taylor, we'll have a story on that later in the week. But coming up next, a weight loss pill that guarantees to help shed those kilos." The TV faded to black and then to commercial. "Well, that was a fair and balanced piece about gender issues," I sighed sarcastically. Mum hugged me close to her, protectively close. "They had no right to say those things about my baby," Mum whispered through gritted teeth. She was under the impression that I was much more devastated by the whole than I actually was. I actually wasn't that rattled by the whole story, I had grown up with A Current Affair and other shows of that ilk playing in the background of a thousand dinners. I knew the show is closer to a soap opera than it is to the news; it needs heroes and villains, great injustices terrible tyrannies and liberal doses of human-interest stories to keep the masses happy. I was just filling in for the role of the villain until they could find some minority or shoddy business to pick on. I could have just as easily been portrayed as the amazingly brave princess who is doing her Debutante Ball for her mother. I smiled and hugged my mother to reassure her, "It's OK, Mum. I'm not all upset by the story. I just can't believe Holly." "I think that bitch is going to have a hard time at school tomorrow!" Nicole clenched her fists. Nicole wasn't the only person who questioned Holly's personal safety. "She better not come over and talk to us," Lilly warned me as we chatted around the lockers. The whole school was a buzz over last night's A Current Affair so that meant no one at all was talking to Holly. No one wanted to be seen potentially siding with the traitor. It was obvious that she was trying to look as unfazed by it as possible but it must have been a little annoying to have no one agree with your stance (in public at least. I'm sure there are a few girls that hate my guts). In saying that I wasn't the most popular person in the world either, Trevor Tull who made a tiny joke at my expense had been expelled and a lot of people seemed to think it was my fault. I didn't like being treated with kid gloves, I was a big... well, girl and I could handle myself. It was a confusing time, with the masses down on Holly for being so against me and yet angry with me for Tull's expulsion. "Poor Holly," I said, watching her gather her books alone. I could still see the girl that I once had a major crush on under all the anger she had me feeling. "Poor Holly?" Alana said in disbelief, "What about poor Gemma? You're the one she's trying to get banned from doing the Deb!" "I know, I'd punch her if she came to talk to me but I think it's sad that she's going to lose friends over this." "She never had that many friends to begin with! I mean we'd tolerate her for a little bit but she is such a two face! She'd bitch about us to her other 'friends' and then turn around and bitch about them to us. You don't make good friends like that!" Alana said. I had always thought that Holly was friends with everyone, able to transcend social groups to befriend anyone, I didn't know that no one particularly liked her. Lilly helped confirm Alana statement, "That's so true, Alana. I mean Alison was her only real friend." "I was her friend," I said, solemnly. It was true I had considered her one of my best friends. She had been a little standoffish since the transformation but before that we were pretty good friends. Or maybe we weren't but I thought we were because I had such an overwhelming crush on her. Maybe she was always this petty and now that I was stripped of my attraction of her I could really see that. "So, what are you going to do about Holly? Want us to rough her up?" A short, skinny Eurasian girl was offering to bash someone up for me, that would have been hilarious if not for the fact that she would have a better chance beating Holly than I did. If my performance on the netball court was any indication, my skinny little arms contained no muscle whatsoever. But the problem of what to do with Holly remained. Did she do what she did out of jealousy or spite or because she really wanted me out of the Deb? Either way she wasn't getting any sympathy from me. I pondered her punishment, it really wasn't my place to decide. If she thought I was some genderless freak then that was fine, there were tons of people who would agree with her. I still got letters everyday proclaiming me as freak of nature. The school had been strongly lobbied to kick me out with death threats to the principal if I was kept in school. Some parents even pulled their kids out of this school to avoid having to share a corridor with the dreaded ladyboy of Marrang College. I think I scared and repulsed a lot of people, Holly wasn't the first person to speak out against me but she was the closest person to do so. "I'm just going to let her be," I decided, "Be the bigger person and let her live her own life. I'm not pulling out of the Deb, not for her, not for anyone." Alana beamed a huge smile at me, "Don't let it get you too down! Today's your big day, huh? Off to Sydney. You're going to become a supermodel!" "I'm not a model, it's just a photo shoot to help promote my column," I insisted. I liked to convince myself that the photo shoot was the least important part of my deal with Dolly, just a tiny thing I had to do to promote my column but whenever I told anyon