Selling Your Soul
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Beautiful Soul free porn video
Beautiful soul
Drabbles,Poetry - Sentimental - Autobiographical - In Hiding - Rating G - Complete yes - Age N/A
Not quite poetry but cryptic prose describing self discovery.
A bit morbid at first but is quite a nice read with a good message.
Waiting...
What am I waiting for?
My whole life I've been waiting.
I just want to sleep
I'm so tired
I can't sleep, I lay in bed,
my mind writhing over everything,
and yet nothing.
I hug my panda teddy tighter and try to ignore
the intimidating shadows that drape my room,
my room?
Mine yet not mine,
my sanctuary, but constantly intruded,
a prison with no bars but of my own construct.
Only while the world sleeps can I be free,
Hmm, a full moon tonight.
Its slivery glow lightens my heavy soul,
Its strength holds the whole world in its sway,
Its light holds my whole world in its sway.
Its light a gentle reflection of the sun.
The fading of the night heralds
the fading of my consciousness.
The heat of noon sears me back
as I grasp desperately to my fading dreams,
my dreams in which I am whole and centred,
amongst the confusing world of dream
in which the only constant is your own presence.
The presence of the sun is my bane,
too light, too bright, too harsh,
its touch is a burn to nape of my neck.
I walk in the light with my eyes closed,
I walk in the shadows with my eyes jaded,
my face a mask when sighted by another,
in truth more masks than I know.
My whole life is a mask
as jaded as the eyes that look upon it.
My life in which I am never accepted yet never abandoned
I have never accepted myself yet have never abandoned hope.
Hope that over the next horizon all would be better,
the whole of high school I waited for the end of high school,
but each horizon is as bleak as the last,
alone my masks become too heavy to bear, change is upon me.
Alone in amongst the ancient trees
the wind takes my breath away,
the wind bears my stress away,
the wind fills my heart's prison and slowly erodes the masks,
and sweeps them far over trees and mountains.
The mask of my face becomes thin, alone it floats gently to the rocks below
but the gaze of others seals it back on, made of the rocks on where it did reside.
It will never truly leave as it needs me, often I need it.
This mask will doggedly follow for along time,
as far as I run it will follow, at least it is loosing weight.
The glassy eyed fiery zealots of Christianity cause my soul to recoil,
it seeks to consume the breath of my heart,
yet this pillar of blind faith held my parents strong.
For me, I paint the inside the colour of the wind,
for them the mask stays, still heavy but a weight I will bear
for them,
for now.
I did pride myself on lack of presence,
the gaze of others glued stones to my mask, so I tried to avoid it.
The glue becomes eroded by the wind and as they tumble to the ground
I realise how insignificant they are
and only when carrying the mask do they stick.
Like the sand on the ground around me,
the mask of which I shyly hid behind tumbles down.
The sand may sting at times, but the wind carries it away.
'I' bring some colour into my own life now, through clothes and originality
This colour brightens the prison and brings dance and happiness into my life.
I did pride myself on lack of noise.
The less noise you make, the more you are heard.
So I liked to think, but in truth their gazes smothered all voice but a whisper.
Even the writing of this widens the hole in this mask
I just hope the faces that it draws don't smother this.
For so long under those masks not even I could see clearly through the gaps
Now with the rubble behind me, I looked upon myself.
I didn't understand what I saw, for what I thought was myself was strewn around me
again the world lost its lustre.
A feather drifts on the wind and it is beautiful.
It lands near a pond and it is beautiful.
I look into the clear water and see my soul reflected and it is beautiful.
I now realise although hidden from me it has always shown through my thoughts
and now I am at peace with my thoughts and actions.
Though I don't know how to show it to those around who only see a shell of me
I long to become that which I saw in that pond, not only inside
but also on the outside.
I look upon these clothes and they can't convey the brightness of my soul
I hear my voice after so long and it doesn't sound as it should be,
And so I will change.
After so long the most indestructible mask,
the steel bars of my prison have been broken open,
after many years, the news of my grandmother's death reaches my heart,
the loss of my high school friends reaches my heart,
the loneliness of years reaches my heart,
the worry over loosing my elderly parents reaches my heart,
the sadness of years waiting, inaction and waste reaches my heart.
Tears well up quickly and overflow, leaving me quaking and shuddering in my
threatened sanctuary, although it lightens my soul considerably,
slowly they settle, sated but not spent.
I see now if your face shows the world rocks, the world gives you rocks in return
if you greet with a true smile, you will receive smiles back.
Through this piece I have revealed my heart
It is written to describe my life and emotions
And just like my heart it is hard to read at times
You can't be touched by others until you reach out.
WithoutaName
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Marisol
- 10.01.2021
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