Sharon s Journey Part 9 Con te Partiro
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A Life Long Journey Part 2 free porn video
A Life Long Journey, Part 2
This is the story of my journey into the life of womanhood. It is the
result of my own memories and the stories told to me by Momma and other
relatives about my growing up. Some of this may not be accurate as my
memories of certain events might be colored by my feelings or my age at
the time. Still I have tried to be honest about them.
By the time I was 4, Amy's momma (Mrs. Jones) had seen me wearing several
of Amy's outfits. Sometimes I would wear one of Amy's dresses. And other
times I would wear a pair of her shorts and a top. Not that I wore her
things every day, but often I would put on one of her outfits two or
three times a week. I don't think she ever said anything to my momma
because nothing was ever said to me about it. I guess she just thought it
was cute.
Or maybe she thought my momma knew and was ok with it. Whatever the
reason, no one ever said anything about it. All I knew was that I felt
right when I was wearing Amy's things and she treated me as if I was just
another girl.
One thing we did learn early on. I had what my momma called a "wee wee"
but Amy didn't. We discovered this one day as I was putting on a pair of
her panties. Thinking about it now, it was kind of funny that we didn't
notice the difference between the two of us that first time I put on
panties with her in the room. Maybe it was because she didn't see it and
I didn't see her without panties.
I started to feel like I was made wrong in some way. I wanted to ask
momma about it but was too afraid to. Amy did ask her mother and was told
I had it because I was a boy and not a girl.
But even though I had a "wee wee" there was something inside of me that
said I was really a girl. Especially when I was wearing Amy's things and
we were playing with her dolls. For some reason, it felt right for me to
be in a dress or a pair of cute pink shorts and a top. And with Amy
treating me like a sister, I started to think of myself as a girl. I so
looked forward to each day when I was to go to Amy's house and got to get
dressed like her.
I even started to think about watching momma as she got dressed each day
for work. I was fascinated as I watched her put on her makeup. A couple
of times I innocently asked her if she would put a little of her powder
or lipstick on me. Of course she said no. She said that makeup was for
girls and boys didn't wear makeup.
One day I finally asked "why don't boys get to wear makeup?"
"They just don't" was all she would say to me.
And sometimes in the evening, while everyone watched T.V., Momma would
trim her nails, buff them and put nail polish on them. Most of the time,
she wore a dark shade of pink nail polish. But once in a while she would
put on pretty red polish. It was those times when she did, that Daddy
would take her out for dinner and maybe a movie. I never really knew for
sure because I would be asleep before they came home. A lot of the time,
I was left over at Amy's for those times. Imagine my surprise the first
time I woke up and was not in my own bed.
Rather I was in Amy's bed and she was there next to me. Remember I was
only about four at that time but the two of us didn't know there were any
real differences between us. As for me, I felt like a girl and never
thought there was anything bad about sleeping with Amy like that.
I do remember one time when Amy and I were getting ready for bed. Mrs.
Jones had agreed to take care of me while Momma and Daddy went out of
town on a trip. I had just spent the day at her house, playing with dolls
and pretending to put on makeup. She had just gotten a pretend makeup set
for her birthday and wanted to share it with me.
After dinner and a little time watching T.V. with her and her mommy, we
were finally told it was bedtime. We were sent off to her room and told
to go to bed.
As I took off the shorts she had let me wear for the day, Amy handed me a
pink nightie and told me to put it on. There I stood, wearing a pair of
her "care bear" panties and her pink nightie with a picture of
Tinkerbelle, the fairy from Disneyland, on the front. She said I looked
really cute in it. I just smiled. I had never worn anything like it
before and it felt so nice. It was all soft and cuddly on me. When I
looked at myself in the mirror, I had to agree I did look real cute.
Still I could tell something was wrong. My hair was not at all long
enough to make me look like the girl I was feeling like.
As soon as I had it on, the two of us got into bed. But we didn't go
right to sleep. Rather we talked and even giggled like two little girls.
Even after her mommy called to us thru the door to go to sleep, we still
giggled and chatted. It was so much fun being there with her and being
treated like any other girl.
One thing Amy did for me was to give me one doll for my very own. Of
course I had to leave it at her house but when I was there, that was the
doll I got to play with. I so loved that doll! I named her Patty. Every
night I slept over at Amy's, I fell asleep holding her.
In the morning the first night I had Patty, Amy said I was holding Patty
like she held on to her doll, Jenny. Then she called me Patty's mommy. I
smiled so big, you would have thought my face was going to break open. I
started to feel like Patty's mommy. I even used one of Amy's play bottles
to feed her as I held Patty.
Finally it was time for me to go back home. As much as I hated to, I had
to get dressed as a boy once again. As I did, I felt like a part of me
was being taken away. I felt ugly in those things instead of cute like I
felt while wearing Amy's things. To be honest about it, I felt a lot
better when I was dressed as a girl. To my young mind, it felt like that
was how I should be dressed and looking all the time. I am not sure
anyone reading this can fully understand what it meant to me when Amy
accepted and treated me as a girl and not a boy.
I still spent most days at Amy's while Momma and Daddy worked. As it
turned out, I would wear Amy's things more and more. It got to the point
I was wearing her things almost every day. Then it happened. We grew up
to the point we were going to0 be going to school.
One fine Saturday morning, Mrs. Jones and Momma took us shopping to buy
new clothes for school. While Amy got to try on dresses and girly shoes,
I was stuck trying on boy's pants and other boy things. I was so envious
when Amy got a pack of pretty panties while I got a pack of ugly boy
under pants. Where Amy's was pink, pale blue, yellow, and white with
contrasting trim, mine were all white. Hers was made of such soft cotton
with a little bow in the front. Mine was rough. Hers was so light and
mine was so heavy! How I hated wearing them!
Then she was bought four sets of the school uniform. For girls that meant
she got to wear navy shorts, a navy jumper, or a navy scooter skirt, with
a girl's white polo shirt or blouse. The blouse had what she was told was
called a "peter pan" color. To go along with her new uniforms, she had to
wear navy knee socks and black maryjanes.
The uniform for boys consisted of a pair of navy pants (long pants), a
white boy's polo shirt or white button down shirt, navy or black socks
and black shoes. I remember telling Momma that I thought girls were so
lucky.
When she asked me why, I told her that it didn't seem fair for girls to
be able to wear so many different things and boys had only a couple of
things to wear. "I mean, girls can wear shorts, dresses, pants, or
skirts. All boys get to wear are pants when it is cold and shorts when it
is hot."
She just smiled and said that there are other things about being a girl
that are not so pleasant. And with that, she sort of ignored what I was
saying in my own young way.
Finally the first day of school came. Momma got me dressed in my uniform,
fed me breakfast, and took me to my new school. As we walked in, I
noticed how many boys and girls there were. But I was scared and held on
to Momma's hand real tight. For some reason, the boys were standing in
one area and the girls were in another. I knew where I wanted to be, with
the other girls. Some to them had dolls with them and all were in the
uniforms that they were expected to wear. I wanted so much to go to join
them and talk to them about their dolls. But first I had to meet my
teacher.
Leading my by the hand, Momma introduced me to her. Her name was Miss
Teeters (like a teeter-totter). She was young, pretty, and kind. She had
a big smile on her face as she gently shook my hand and said she was glad
to meet me. Then, instead of talking to Momma first, she said to me "We
are going to have a lot of fun in class." That seemed to make me feel
better. Still I was scared because I had never been any place like school
before.
Miss Teeters led me to where other boys were standing and talking. She
told me their names and told them mine. There were Peter, John, Sam,
Bill, George, and Brad, as well as others I don't remember.
What I do remember was how loud and rough they were. They would push each
other and roughhouse. I just stood there for a while wishing I had been
put with the girls. And it was that way all day long. Every time we did
something, I had to be with the boys.
Finally the end of the day came and Mrs. Jones picked Amy and me up. All
the way home, Amy talked about how much fun she had and all the friends
she had made just that day. I, on the other hand, didn't say much. For
the most part, I just sat there on the verge of tears. I had an awful day
for my first day at school.
When I was asked what made it so bad, I told Amy and Mrs. Jones, I hated
school. They made me do things I really didn't want to do. Mrs. Jones
just smiled and told me to give it time. She assured me things would get
better.
Well, they did get better, but not for me. They got better for Amy. She
made a lot of friends. I could see them on the playground having fun
together. All the while I was stuck playing with the boys. And the games
they wanted to play! They wanted to play things like "Army", "cowboys and
Indians", and "space rangers"!
Then came the day Amy was so excited when her mommy picked us up at
school. She had been given a paper that told about the Girl Scout program
and the level for our age. Amy actually wanted to join and become a
brownie. Their meetings would be after school and she would be allowed to
wear her uniform. The meetings would be only for an hour every other
week, but it meant I would have to find something to do until it was
over.
For a month I sat on the swings in the school yard and waited for Amy's
"Brownie" meeting to get over. Then I had an idea, why couldn't I also
join the brownies? I could be like one of the girls. There were only two
things wrong with this. First I would not be allowed to wear that cute
uniform the girls wore. And the second was my parents. Somehow I knew
Momma and Daddy would never let me join.
When I asked Momma about my joining the girls, she was shocked. And when
Daddy found out what I wanted to do, he got so mad! He started yelling at
Momma that "this was all her fault. She should have let him make a real
man out of me long ago."
So, instead of getting to join the Girl Scouts, I was forced to join the
Boy Scouts and start at the lowest level, a cub scout. I had to learn how
to put on the kerchief that was a part of the uniform and I had to wear
the cap.
Still I longed to be a Girl Scout and get to wear their uniform instead.
Amy was so cute in her Brownie uniform, with those shorts and top, that
vest and beanie. And she was always doing something fun or going
someplace with her group.
One time they went to visit a T.V. studio and see how a program was done.
Another time they went to an art museum and actually got to learn a
little about what it was like to be an artist. The museum had one of
their people give Amy's group art lessons.
They went to the zoo, and one weekend they went to what was called "the
troop house" for their first experience at camping. When she got back
from that, she told me all about it. As she did, I could feel tears
coming to my eyes. When she saw how I was feeling, she stopped talking
and hugged me.
As a boy scout, all it seemed we ever did was learn that stupid pledge
and did stupid things like learn how to handle a pocket knife. It was all
so boring to me. We never got to do fun things like Amy' brownie troop.
This only made me even more certain that it was better to be a girl than
a boy. It just made my desire to be a girl like Amy even stronger.
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- 11.07.2021
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