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It never would have happened if Sis hadn't taken that job at summer camp. Or if Mom hadn't gone back to our old place for a week. Or maybe I was really ready for this to happen but just didn't know it yet. You see, we were just moving in to our new house. The moving van was in the drieway, a big long wide driveway with a basketball hoop off to one side. Mom had parked our own rental truck out on the street, because it was towing our car and she didn't want to try backing up with that car there. The place was impressive as we walked up to it, a big rambling Mediterranean style villa with gardens and tall shade trees all around and a pool out back. We walked in and took a moment oohing and aahing at all the space, all the rooms. Then we got busy directing the movers here and there; they took care of all the big heavy objects like beds and sofas. It had been a five hour trip but we got an early start that Wednesday morning so that by noontime the moving van was all unloaded. All the big stuff was where it needed to be. Mom thanked the movers, giving them a tip and offering them some of the snacks we had carried with us. They said thanks for the tip but they were going to get lunch at a nearby truck stop they knew of. We had no time for a real sit-down lunch because mom wanted to get our own truck unloaded before five so that we could return it and not have to pay another day's rental. So we just nibbled our snacks and sipped our juice boxes as we trotted back and forth from the truck with our arms full of boxes and bags. At first we were putting each box in the room where it was supposed to go, and putting stuff away, like glasses in the kitchen. That way was taking too long, so we put off the unpacking until later. Finally we gave up putting each box where it should go, and just piled everything up in the hallways and open spaces. We barely finished in time! We all crammed into the cab of the truck and mom raced off to the local office of the rental company, with our car banging up and down behind us. The rental people were real nice, even though we were nearly late. They carefully unhitched our car, and gave mom back her security deposit. "So hey kids, I'm tired and hungry but I don't want to cook, and besides the kitchen isn't ready yet. So how's about we go get some pizza?" Sis and I grinned and gave each other a fist bump. Then we all crammed ourselves into the car, which was all stuffed with things we had not taken time to unload. As the smallest one, I had to sit on my sister's lap. "I'm almost as big as you now though," I protested, "We're a lot closer in size than we were last year." "Almost doesn't count, and stop squirming," Sis said smugly. The rental place had told us how to get to a local pizza parlor and we managed not to get lost on the way there. The food was great, not all doughy without much topping the way it was back home. They gave us a free refill on our pitcher of cola, too. "I like this new town already!" I exclaimed. "You just like anybody that feeds you," Sis teased. She's always teasing, but not in a mean way. Mom had to ask the restaurant for directions, and they drew us a map on the back of our paper placemat. Otherwise we would have gotten lost on our way home for sure.The car seemed even more cramped than before, now that we were full of supper. "Jeez, you weigh a ton," Sis complained. "See, I told you i was getting bigger!" I joked. When we pulled into the driveway the sun was setting behind the rambly house. With the trees in dark silhouette, it looked beautiful. We sighed a happy sigh, and hugged each other. "I don't know about you healthy young people, but I am a tired out adult," said mom, wiping a wisp of hair off her forehead. "Why don't we get the basic kitchen and bath stuff in place and then just live out of our suitcases tonight? Then we can take care of everything else tomorrow." That sounded good to both of us. We had been up before dawn and it had been a long day. Wednesday June 4, our first day in our new home. I could not locate my bedding, the boxes were all jumbled up, but mom had a couple extra sheets she handed me. It was warm for that time of year, so I would be comfortable. I even opened my window and lay strectched out on my bed, looking up at the ceiling, listening to the birds and the bugs outside. It's nice here, I thought. Everybody had been friendly to us, and the city even smelled better and looked cleaner and prettier than our old town. I was still anxious though. What about the kids here? Would I make any friends? That had been a problem for me until now; I was not exactly unpopular but I never seemed to feel very comfortable with one group or another. This was my chance for a fresh start. My eyelids drooped down as I imagined the future here. Friends. Happiness. Everything new.... I woke up to the sound of a meadowlark outside my window. The lark sang a lovely song, but so loud! Looking out the window, I saw the sky glowing a robin's egg blue. Not quite dawn yet. I had arisen before the sun had! I quickly monopolized the bathroom and took a shower. Mom had her own bathroom but Sis and I had to share. Sis could take forever getting ready in the morning. "What does she need all that time for?" I would ask, but never got an answer. Towelling off, I looked myself over in the bathroom mirror. One more scrawny kid, I shrugged. Sis called me "the twerp," and she was right. I went back to my room and pulled on my comfy old baggy jeans and a light hoodie. I may not look like much, but at least I can be comfortable. I went to the kitchen and rummaged through the boxes there, pulling out pots, pans, plates, forks, spoons. Mom could choose later where to put these things away but for now I just put them all out on a counter top. Then I checked my wallet to see if her credit card was in there; Mom lets us have debit cards but they are in her name so she can easily keep them charged. I went out to the garage and found my beat up old bike. It didn't look like much but it was good for tricks and stunts. Pedalling out the driveway, I considered: Hadn't we passed a gas station convenience store on the way here yesterday? I vaguely remembered that. Which way had we come? Our truck had been parked pointing that way, down the street, so I started up the opposite way. I found the store eventually, further than I thought. It always feels further on a bike. Eggs, butter, milk, bread, some meat and cheese for lunch, juice, little plastic salt and peppers, what else? Good old PB and J, can't miss with that. The bags felt flimsy, I hoped they would last until I got back home. As I pulled into the driveway the sun was just coming up behind me. Sure enough, just as I got into the kitchen one of those bags tore, but at least nothing broke. I whipped up some eggs with salt and pepper, mixing in little torn up bits of cheese, while I heated butter in a frying pan. I poured in the mixture and kept moving it around with a fork, held flat. I had to keep close watch, because butter browns quickly. I set out our places at the table, with juice and milk. Where was the toaster? Drat, I wanted hot toast. I emptied the eggs into a dish, scraped the pan clean, greased it with butter and put slices of bread in there. Quickly, keep them turning quickly or they will burn. They got warm and brown anyway, even if they lacked the crunch of real toast. "Mm, smells good!" exclaimed Mom as she came in rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Sis came in last as usual. What did take her so long in the morning? It wasn't as if she wore a lot of makeup or anything. Everybody seemed to have a good appetite after yesterday's hard work. "Thanks Donny," said Mom. That's what she calls me. I'm Don and Sis is Donna; want to guess what our dad's name was? "You didn't have to do this. I appreciate it." Sis nodded and smiled too, but she was too busy eating to say anything. "No problem" I said, "It was fun seeing this new neighborhood. So, what's the plan for today?" "Well, we need to call the cable guy and get the tv hooked up, and the computer, it's all on the same plan. I already called the newspaper, and the people to open up and prep the pool. Where's the phone book? Oh well, I'll call 411. After that, we move boxes and bags into the rooms where they belong, and unpack them and put stuff away." So that's what we did. It was like some comedy movie, everybody trotting back and forth with their arms piled high so they couldn't see, constantly bumping into each other. Even though it was early June and early morning, it was still getting hot. We opened up the doors and windows, unwilling to start up the AC so soon. The front door looked like a golden rectangle of light, the rising sun was so bright outside. Sis was just trotting in front of the door with her arms full of pictures and lamps for the living room, when a voice called through from the outside! "Hi! I'm your new paper person." Sis turned and freed up one hand to wave back. She loved meeting people. "Hey, hi! What's your name?" "Oh, I'm Zack. I'm really glad to see you. I had hoped the new folks on my route would have somebody my age. There aren't too many of us in this neighborhood." "Oh! So it's mostly old folks?" "Not really, some maybe, others don't have kids yet, some have kids in college. It varies. People here tend to move around a lot." "It's great to meet you! Can you take a minute and tell us a little about yourself?" "I'd really like to talk, but I have to finish up and get over to school. We've got one more week to go, after this. But Saturday morning I can put you guys last on my schedule and then we can have a good long talk." "Great! Looking forward to it!" Sis enthused, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. She was positively glowing. Sis loved meeting new people- and especially new boys! She hummed and danced her way through the rest of the day. Sis was a dancer, so it came naturally to her, it was how she expressed herself. Before long, the place began to take shape. Our old stuff looked funny at first in its new setting but also felt comfortable and familiar. Sis and I had four bedrooms to choose from. She liked the light green one. The others were pink (none of us like pink), pale orange, and a kind of pale purple. Now, my old room had one white wall, one bright red wall, and two dark blue walls. My curtains and bedding and posters all were meant to go with those colors. Now they would be out of place. "We can repaint your lilac room this summer, Donny" said Mom (so that was what the pale purple was called, lilac). "I hope you're not too disappointed." But I was ok, I could already see some of my posters looking all right here. Mom claimed the orange room for her office. We were just taking a juice break at 3 when the phone beeped. "I wonder if it's for the old owner?" I mused. "Not too many people even know we're here yet." I was closest so I answered the phone. "Hello, Symonds residence...?" :"Yes, er, hello...am I speaking with Donna?" That sort of thing happened all the time. I simply handed her the phone and let her explain. "Hi, this is Donna. Oh, sure I remember you, Busy time for you all, I bet! Oh, really? Aw, that's too bad, she was a terrific counselor, all the kids loved her. What? You're kidding, right? I mean, I am not too young or anything? Well...it's quite a shock...where? When? Okay, right, see the nurse...I'll have to talk to Mom and then get right back to you, will that be okay? All right, bye for now!" When she hung up, we were both staring at her, wondering what it had all been about. ?Do you remember my friend Shelley who was my lead counselor at camp last summer?? (Each cabin had 16 campers, one paid counselor like Shelley, and one unpaid assistant like Sis.) ?Well, she?s got mononucleosis! They thought it was flu, but the mono diagnosis was just confirmed. She can?t work at all and camp opens this Sunday and it?s too late to train anybody and one former counselor is getting married this month and another one has her foot in a cast so they thought well I had experience and the kids liked me and so did the rest of the staff and I wouldn?t have to be trained so can I Mom, please? My first real job!? Mom pressed her lips together and looked up over our heads the way she does when she is pondering something. "On the plus side," she said, "You would be good at it and it would be an attractive piece on your r?sum?. Colleges and employers will see how reliable and capable you are," "Yay!" chirped Sis, but Mom continued: "On the minus side, we have no time to get you ready. And don't you need shots first? All your camp stuff is packed up. There are so many details to sort out, and no time! When do you have to be there?" "Orientation is Saturday evening at dinner but they would really like me to be there as early as possible, like 9 AM, to help with their work day. They will be knocking down spider webs in the cabins, cleaning drains, sweeping and mopping, washing and ironing the curtains, supplying the washrooms, all kinds of stuff. The camp nurse will give me my shots." "Whew," Mom muttered, "We've got to get started right away. First get clothes together, sandals, sneakers, hats, your bandana, charge up your phone, what else? Insect repellant, sunscreen, bandaids, vitamins, tissues, a flashlight, a notepad and pencil, maybe a book or two..." Donna grinned and gave me a nudge. Mom was talking like it was a done deal! But just then the phone beeped again. Sis grabbed it and immediately said ?Yes? Is there something else? Oh! Sorry!? and handed it to Mom. ?It?s for you!? Mom listened and said ?Oh no, it?s too bad, but the timing is so awkward right now. Yes, I knew they would be trouble but I am confident you all can handle it, experienced professionals that you are. What? No, we can?t let that happen, you?re right. And you say two other closings are also in trouble. Yes, I knew Mr. Baker couldn?t take over until a week from Monday but I really thought you could take care of whatever came up until then. You already did what? You guys sure know how to be persuasive. I?ll have to work it out here at home but let?s just say yes unless I call back, okay? The keys are under a flowerpot? Fine, see you soon.? Mom let out a long sigh. ?My old office is in a crisis. The broker who bought me out can?t be there for ten days. A nasty seller is trying to remove her built-in appliances before the closing, which is breach of contract. They were included in the sale, built-ins always are, removing them would seriously reduce the purchase price. She swears I gave her permission but that is a flat out lie. Her attorney called our office and said they were ready to sue. I have never liked that guy; I don?t want him involved. To make matters worse, we had a bad perc test at another property. The firm that performed it is new and unreliable; we need a retest with people I trust. At a third place they discovered mold and the deal will fall through unless the seller agrees to remediation or a setoff in the purchase price. So the office is in a panic and calling for the old problem solver. They even went ahead and opened up a little cottage for me, one that we rent out on behalf of the owner. Just one bedroom, but it is close to Oak Hills Camp where Donna will be. And they have primed the well, swept it out, freshened the bedding, and even stocked some food essentials.? ?Trail mix and juice?? teased Sis. That was what we had been eating for five hours in the truck on the way over here. Mom laughed. ?Yes, my favorite! That really clinched the deal.? But then she looked at me. ?Don honey, I can?t take you with me. There?s just the one double bed.? ?No sofa?? I asked. I can sleep okay on a sofa. ?Nope, just a little settee and some chairs? ?So I?m gonna be all alone?? ?Just nine days. I promise I won?t stay a minute longer than that. If I didn?t think you could handle it I would not consider going. But just look how responsible you have been all during this move, even going out for food and making breakfast for us. ? I thought about it. I am always telling Sis how big I am getting. Here was my chance to prove it. ?All right! But I?ll need to use your charge card that I carry. There will be food and other household supplies, bus fare, and cash on hand for whatever comes up. And you need to give me your number.? ?Right, my phone never works out there near the camp, no bars. Sis has a different system on her phone but she needs that for work. But here?s the cottage number," and she pulled out an old envelope from her purse, tore it in half, and wrote down the number on each piece for both of us. I swallowed hard. This was a big old place to be in all by myself. But I wanted to prove I was up to the challenge. ?Here?s the plan," Mom said. ?First we locate all we can for Donna and get her packed up, and then the same for me. Finally we go to the mall for a bite and for supplies for all of us. We?ll each need toothpaste for instance, and shampoo, and all kinds of things. And food for Donny. We?ll let him choose the menu for the whole week!? ?Just imagine, a week full of nothing but spaghetti and meatballs? teased Sis. That was my favorite meal. ?I?ll get all microwave single serving stuff and plastic ware so that I never have to clean up," I joked. Now that we?d all agreed, it became like an adventure. It would be a five hour drive for them tomorrow and Sis would like to get there by suppertime in order to settle in before the work day. So we had to work quickly. Incoming staff just ate right in the kitchen that first Friday night. Mom wanted to get there in time to check in with her old crew too.. ?The pool guys will be here Saturday, Don. And oh, here?s another detail. I called the local thrift shop. We have stuff here we should never bother putting away, since we never wear it. They told me to bag separately whatever was damaged, you know, torn or ravelled or stained, and they would use that for fiber. They sell it to recyclers. Whatever else we don?t want should be boxed separately and they will resell it. They said they would try to have a man here late Friday, that?s tomorrow. But now we won?t have time to do all that sorting out.? ?Well don?t expect me to decide what things you no longer want!? I insisted. ?Tell you what, before you leave tomorrow morning, each of you just decide what you are sure you don?t want, and put it on your beds. You could sort it out tonight and put it on your beds before you go. When mom gets back she can discard any more of her things she wants to, we?ll just make another donation. After you guys leave, I?ll go through and try to find whatever clothing is damaged and put it in bags. Okay?? Mom just smiled and gave me a shoulder hug. ?Great plan! Very decisive. You will make a fine CEO some day.? I leaned back in my chair, with a condescending glance at Sis. ?Miss Donna, bring me the Baxter files. But first, being me another imported cigar.? ?Mister Twerp, the CEO? mocked Sis and started tickling me. I yelped and jumped to my feet. I?m super ticklish. ?Tickle the twerp! Tickle the twerp!? shrieked Sis as she came at me with her hands stretched out making threatening tickling motions. ?Halp!? I yelled and ran off down the hall, dodging boxes, with her in hot pursuit. I turned the corner into the next hall. It was blocked side to side with bags! But I jumped over them and gained some ground. Sis was still quick, even though I am the runner in the family, and she had nearly caught me as we rounded the next corner when WHUMP! I smacked right into Mom who was standing there, and Sis smacked right into me. "Enough horseplay!" she stated firmly, hands on her hips. "Time is tight! If we get our work done before midnight we can play a game then." "Sorry Mom." "Yeah Mom, sorry." So after that it was like a scavenger hunt looking for all the things they would be needing. Then we made a list of things to buy and went to the mall. We had tacos and went over the list again, adding things we had forgotten, like laundry soap for Sis. We went from store to store. Then Mom insisted Sis get a new swimsuit since the old one would be too small. I made a mental note to add the old one to the thrift shop donations. We got home in time for our game, and chose a silly one, so we all went to sleep with the giggles. Next morning I put cold cereal out for them, so they could get a quick start. I also gave them each a slip of paper with the phone number of the new house, since none of us had memorized it yet. "You really do have executive qualities Don, even though your sister does still tease you." "Just 'cause he mocked me as his secretary! But yeah, he's basically competent. I'm gonna miss you, twerp." And Sis ruffled my hair. It's dark like hers, shorter, but still long enough to muss up. They both did put some things out on their beds for the thrift shop, and then I helped them carry their baggage out to the car. Mom gave me a kiss and a hug. "I'm proud of you, Don." Sis kissed my cheek and said quietly "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I stood in the street and waved goodbye at them until I couldn't see the car any more. I felt kind of depressed. I went back inside and started getting my own room ready. I could not find things to hang up in the closet but I pretty well filled up the dresser. There was a full length mirror right beside the dresser, and I took a look at myself. "Twerp," I agreed. I was really thin, which was good because I wanted to be a distance runner. I had done well in my bracket in some 10K races. But my shoulders were narrow, and I couldn't see any muscle anywhere except in my thighs. I had a thin sort of face, and a pointed chin, like Sis. The only hair on my face was in the form of two eyebrows that looked like caterpillars. I sighed. On Sis these features looked fine (she plucks her brows) but on me they just looked dumb. I did find a couple of my favorite posters and put them up. One showed Michael Phelps winning the butterfly. His head was splashing up out of the water like an orca, arms at an impossible angle over his shoulderblades. Amazing. He looked better on my old navy blue wall but this was okay for now. And here was Sachie Ishizu winning the marathon at Gifu. She's amazing, a junior qualifier in tennis at Wimbeldon too! I sent her a fan letter and got an autographed photo back too. My curtains would look ugly against these walls, so I borrowed Mom's. They were plain white with just a little eyelet trim. We could get new window treatments once she came back home. Likewise with my old bedspread, it was red blue and white color blocks. It wouldn't look any good here until I could repaint these walls. So I borrowed Mom's spread too, it looked decent, the same basic white as her curtains only with puffy white balls sewn onto it, and tassels hanging off the edges. I would give it back when she got home, and then I'd get something temporary. I could even do that now, using her credit card. On the dresser I placed the things I could find, like my tortoise shell hair brush and comb set, nail clippers, a Japanese tray for spare change and other things I didn't want to carry around, a picture of my old cat that died. It was framed in real sterling silver, I bought the frame myself. I propped up the picture where I could see it from my bed. Good old Pickles. My room was basically all set now, just a couple more posters to find, plus my good shirts and pants to hang up. The bed felt good. It seemed like I had been working hard without a break for two days straight. More, because packing for the move had also been frantic. I lay down. My eyes slowly closed. Suddenly I sat bolt upright. No time for sleep! The clothes had to be separated and the damaged ones bagged. I found some boxes we had emptied, and put some of mom's old things in a couple of them. I knew she would have more to add later, but these things she had placed on her bed would have to do for now. Then I put Donna's old stuff in two more boxes. Some of it she had outgrown, but some was just not in style any more. It was lunchtime. I nuked some lo mein with veggies, and chewed thoughtfully. It was awfully quiet in here. Our entertainment system was in the living room but it was buried under boxes so I couldn't use it yet. Sis had not taken her clock radio so I borrowed it just to have some sounds. I tuned around until I found some music I liked. I plugged it into a kitchen wall socket so the batteries wouldn't run down, and turned up the volume. I noticed it was a medium light purple color; it would look okay in my room until I repainted. I could listen to it tonight. Okay, next step. I sorted out my own stuff. Most of what I didn't want any more was not in good enough shape to sell. I bagged it all up. Here was a sweatshirt and tee with "Falcons" on them, and our old school colors, spruce and silver. They were a little worn, but I didn't feel like giving them away. Back to Mom's room. She had packed up some old tops with little holes in them, and leggings with rips or tears. Our buyers had been in a big rush so we had to hurry and just took everything with us without sorting it out first. Into the bag with the damaged stuff. Lastly Sis again. She did not have too much that was obviously damaged, but I figured that if she had not packed some things like underwear for camp it must be because she did not want them any more. Nobody buys used undies, so I just started bagging it up for the thrift shop. As I was bagging up her unwanted stuff, I felt something funny. Jiggly. A half dozen of her unwanted panties were jiggly...? Weird. I held them up and shook them. They bobbed and wobbled but then went back to their original shape. I laid them on her bed and tried to smooth them flat with my hand, but they wouldn't stay flat. They popped back up into the same rounded, curvy shape. It gave me the eerie sensation that they were being worn by ghost girls. Their phantom bottoms were giving the panties their shape. There I was in a big strange new house with a bunch of ghost girls in panties. I felt around in her stuff some more and came up with a few bras that did the same thing. Most didn't, but some did. Smoosh them down and their shape bounced back. A couple had a sort of pocket on each side and inside the pockets were tan colored rubbery things like oysters or discolored fried eggs. They reminded me of those chewy jelly type candy worms you can buy, that's how they felt, and that's how they wiggled. What was I going to do with this stuff? It was rubber or something, you couldn't shred it for fiber. Then I remembered that year when Sis had suddenly seemed to grow curves. It was like on Friday she was her normal scrawny self, a lot like me, and on Saturday she all at once had this new body. These things. After all of her teasing about me not growing up, here she had only been pretending to get physically mature. I walked into Mom's room. Her walls were covered with pictures of the family. Some real early ones had Dad in them too, Big Don the firefighter. I was able to trace how Sis and I had grown up year after year and then sure enough here were two photos in which I looked exactly the same, but she had completely changed from a little skinny kid into a curvy teen. It was like cheating. She was deliberately fooling everybody. It was fake, phony, not honest. And here I had always admired her, always looked up to her for being so together. Would she still be so popular if people knew how she had fooled them? I wondered what else was fake. Was her friendly lively personality just an act? I was troubled by this discovery. I had Mom's number, maybe she would be there by now. I went to call her. The very second I picked up the phone, it began to beep! "Hello, Symonds residence." "Hi honey! How's it going? Is everything all right?" "Well Mom, I got a good start on my room, it looks okay, like somebody intended to live there. But I needed to borrow your white curtains and spread because mine clashed with the wall color." "Oh sure, go ahead, keep them if you want to, they're kind of old fashioned. I was thinking of going modern anyway. But is something on your mind? Your voice sounds a little strained." It was always hard to hide things from Mom. We think she has this kind of radar sense. So I told her what I had found, and how I felt Sis had been dishonest. Mom sighed and said nothing for a moment. At least she took me seriously, she was always good about that. "Donny, have you ever looked closely at my clothes?" "I always think you look nice, but I guess that's because of fabrics and colors, right?" "That's just part of it. Isn't that a mobile phone unit? So please just take it with you into my room. I have some things hanging in the closet there now. Take a close look. Notice the shapes, how things are stitched and the pieces formed together to create a certain impression." So I did, and she was right. The tops and skirts and dresses all had things that gave them a definite shape, lines of stitches, puckery things that made the fabric bunch together, folds, pleats, puffy parts where the fabric billowed out and then was gathered together. Some had elastic. Some of her pants had a thick rubbery piece sewn into the front, about the size of a page of notebook paper. "Those are called tummy panels, Don. They hold my front in so that my pouchiness doesn't show. Is that dishonest?" I could tell I was not going to win this argument, but I insisted "You're not fat, Mom; you don't need those panels." "I don't think of myself as fat either, but the tummy panels help me look a little firmer. They also help me present myself to the world in a certain way, they give me confidence. Those other things you saw all have names, darts, gathers, shirring, ruching, pintucks, all kinds of names. They all give me the shape I want, so it does not look like I am wearing a sack. I do not feel dishonest for wearing these style, I feel I am expressing myself, letting my inner nature be seen." "But what Sis did was different. She added extra pieces to herself." "Yes and no. It does all serve the same purpose, presenting yourself to the world in the way you want to be seen, expressing yourself. She was getting anxious because her friends seemed to be developing and she wasn't. Now I wonder whether these friends had simply discovered these silicone items first." "So what shall I do with them?" "Might as well throw them out. She doesn't need them any more. I don't expect they could be shredded for fiber. But see? She now looks naturally the way she wanted to look earlier. Those items you found just helped her anticipate the way she would eventually look anyway." Mom was always good at explaining things. I was no longer mad at Sis. She had just been expressing herself, it was another kind of fashion. Not unusual, lots of girls did it. "Thanks Mom, I appreciate it. I'm not upset any more. So how is Sis doing? Did you get to your office and calm them all down?" "Sis is doing great, the rest of them are treating her like some kind of hero. I am going to the office right after this call. I'm at the cottage, and it's totally cute. Window boxes, a little pond, bird houses, a horse shoe over the door for good luck. I did call in briefly from here, to tell them I'd be with them shortly." "Thanks Mom, you're the best, for wanting to call me before taking care of business...and for helping me understand how expressing yourself through how you look is not dishonest." "I'm glad you don't think I'm being overly protective. So, sport, what are you having for dinner tonight?" "Spaghetti and meatballs of course" I kidded, and Mom laughed at the joke. "Sounds good. I'll be going out with some of the old gang from work. So, when would you like me to call again?" "Sunday night would be okay. It doesn't have to be every day." "Right, then. I'll call after 8." "Love you, Mom." "Love you bushels and bunches, Don." I was drawn back to my sister's room. There, spread out on the bed, were the instruments which had changed her from a scrawny kid into a curvy teen. Expressing herself, presenting her style to the world. I looked in her wall mirror. I saw a scrawny kid. Of course. How had I ever in my life expressed myself through my appearance? How had I presented myself to the world? Did I even have any style to express, any inner self to put forward? If I tried on these things, would I change too? Would I feel different? Taking a deep breath, I shed my hoodie and jeans and undies and left them in a pile there on the floor. I shook out one of her silicone panties and wriggled into it. It was clingy, hard to pull up my legs, it kept sticking like those vinyl shapes you can stick on the window. I had to work slowly and carefully. Finally it was nearly in place, but not quite. I reached up inside each leg, one at a time, and scooched it up as tight as it could be. Then I pulled the top band up and smoothed everything all over, no wrinkles. It felt funny, but now it just looked like ordinary underwear. Underwear with the shape of a teenage girl. I looked in the mirror. My front was entirely smooth between my legs, no bulges, just an empty V shape. My hips flared out on the sides but were not ridiculously overdone. I turned around and looked over my shoulder. What a cute butt! High, rounded and shapely. I shook myself and it wiggled. I giggled. Now I felt like I had to take care of my top part also. I found one of the bras that had the filled pockets. The outside of the cups were also shaped with soft fabric, so that it was like they were padded twice. It was hard to put on! It got all twisted around and I almost could not get it off. I stared at it in frustration. Maybe if I fastened it first and then slid it over my head? No, that was worse, it still got twisted and now it was somehow wrapped around my nose so I couldn't breathe. Finally I figured out how to put it on backwards with the hooks in front where I could see them and get at them easily. Then, with the straps dangling loose, I gingerly shifted it around so it faced the right way, and the hooks were in the middle of my back, between the shoulder blades. Now I tugged the straps up, and snugged everything into place. I ran my fingers up under the cups and made sure they were centered exactly over my own nonexistent breasts. Time for another look in the mirror. I gave a low whistle. From the neck down I didn't look like Don at all. I bounced up and down and my chest jiggled! So did my butt. I twisted from side to side and my boobs swayed realistically. Incredible. I found a pair of her old stretch jeans and slid them on. Only one tiny pocket, how did girls carry anything? Oh yeah, purses. "Bags". I found a tee top with an abstract blue and green print and pulled it on. It fit my narrow waist nicely, and came down further in the front than my old tees did. Then I remembered one of the photos on the walls of Mom's bedroom. I went back in and I saw it. Yep, there was Sis wearing exactly this same outfit and looking exactly the same as I looked now. From the neck down. I scowled at my face. It looked like when the girls take the heads off their dolls and replace them with a boy doll's head. Taking another deep breath, I began going through all Donna's boxes. Finally I found a couple that contained what I needed. My hands were shaking as I placed the things on her vanity. Eye shadow. Liner. Mascara. Lipstick. Powder. Blusher. I had thought she didn't use much makeup, and this stuff did not look thick or intense, but it would definitely make a difference. But first the eyebrows. I didn't find her tweezers, she had probably taken them to camp. So I raided Mom's room. Sitting at the vanity, I turned on the little lights all around the mirror there and got to work. I tried to remember the exact shape of her brows and I think I got it pretty close. It did hurt but it was somehow a good hurt, like when you pick off a scab. Gross, huh? I turned my head from side to side and liked what I saw. Now for some eye shadow. Ugh! I looked like a clown, too much, too dark. What to do? I didn't want to give up this experiment now; I couldn't. I ran to my room and got my laptop. Millions of videos on the internet; thousands of them about how to apply makeup. I followed the steps carefully. First I rounded up some cosmetic pads and tissues. Then I applied light shadow above, darker below, smudging them together where they met. "Feather the dark part out beyond the edges of the eyes." Right. Pink pencil inside my lower lids? I never knew they did that. Did Sis have a pencil? Yep. Ow! It was just like poking a stick in my eye. With tears of pain running down my cheek I looked at the result. Hmm, not bad. The pink made my eyes look warmer and friendlier, just as if I were smiling. The shadow made my eyes look bigger and more wide open. Now the mascara. I chose one that said it would thicken and lengthen but not add color. I did not want to overdo it. Maybe I should keep a list of what I was using so I could replace it; Sis would be wanting this stuff when she came home. A little light powder, on a puff. Careful, don't make a mess, it flies around when you use it. A little light color on my cheeks, not too much. Brush around the edges to blend it in. Lips. Hm, I just want to look natural, not glamorous. Not that I am all that natural anymore. But the style that I want to express is a natural style. I chose a neutral color with moisturizers. It made my lips look soft. Then I added a little gloss, two dabs on my top lip and one on the bottom, just like the videos showed me. I smacked my lips together and made a kissy face into the mirror. I froze for a moment, holding my breath. That was Sis in her mirror, making faces at me. I almost wanted to look over my shoulder, to see if she had been watching me. I saw a new body, and a new face. Now I needed new hair, but that seemed impossible. What I had was not quite long enough to style. I tried brushing it out different ways and spraying it, but nothing helped much. I began to tremble. I couldn't give up now, not when I was so close! I began rummaging through her bags and boxes again, emptying them onto the floor. Not roughly, I did not want to hurt anything. Finally, inside the zip liner of an old carry-on bag I found a plastic pouch full of hair! There were several pieces there, dark as our own hair. Two puffy things looked like the tips of giant paintbrushes. I figured out that they were supposed to be clipped over each ear, like pigtails. There were these jaws at the end, and when you clipped them tightly onto your own hair and the jaws came together, they looked as if they were black ribbons tied into bows. These made the sides of my head look just right. For the front, I followed video advice and used mousse and teased my hair up to make it as full looking as possible. The back of my head was an issue, my hair there was super short, just barely combing length. But Sis had one more hairpiece. It started with this big curvy comb (black, I guess she just liked black) that you clipped right next to your scalp as tightly as you could. Down from under this comb came a fall of thick dark hair. When I adjusted it high enough in back so that it met some longer hair there, the fall came down just above my shoulders. There! Perfect. My pretty face smiled at me confidently in the mirror. Did Sis draw her confidence from this look she portrayed? But something was still missing. My ears were bare. And of course I could not use her earrings since my ears had never been pierced. I stewed for a moment over this missing detail. Then I remembered that years ago Sis had used these stick-on decals, back before Mom would let her get her ears pierced. Maybe she would still have some left, tucked away someplace. It turned out they were with her jewelry. I peeled off a small round pair that looked like silvery holograms. It occured to me that maybe my skin would be too greasy for them to stick very well, so I quickly washed and dried- just my ears! They stuck so well I was not sure I could easily get them off! In there with the jewelry were some press-on fingernails, nothing serious, just for fun. I chose dark metallic green. The glue smelled funny and they took a while to dry. I put on a pair of her slip-on denim sneakers and I was all done. I posed in front of the mirror the way I had seen Sis do. I placed the outside of my wrists on the back of my hips and let the fingers curl up and out. That looked good. I clasped my hands onto my elbows behind my back. It was hard getting into that position at first but I got used to it and I recognized that, yes, a lot of girls did stand just like that. I stood on the balls of my feet, lightly balanced. Only a boy would stand flat-footed. I held my feet closer together, angled one with the toe outward, placed the other at an angle behind it. Each pose suggested a slightly different message. I was learning to express myself. I grinned, and the girl in the mirror grinned back. She seemed friendly, poised, lively, someone you would like to meet. Just like Sis. All at once I realized I had to pee! I ran to Mom's bathroom, which was closest. I quickly pulled off the stretch jeans and clingy panties and sat down. I don't know why I didn't stand up, but somehow that didn't feel right. Mom had a jar of pre moistened wipes there so I used one. As I washed my hands I noticed some ladies' deodorant and used that too. I would not want Sis' tee to smell like a boy. Just as I was finishing rearranging myself, the doorbell rang! I had forgotten all about the thrift shop guy. What should I do? I couldn't just let him stand there. I ran to open the door, and saw a tall man smiling at me. "Hello, miss! Is your mother at home? She called us about a pickup." I said no, she was out on business, but maybe I could help him. Would he like to come in? No, he figured he'd better not. Surely we were two perfect angels, but people did like to gossip. The thought had never crossed my mind. My skin was tingly with apprehension; as a guy I had never felt this vulnerable. But I said "Just wait here then," and ran and brought out all the boxes and bags I had prepared. He saw some of my old things and asked, "Oh, so you have a little brother?" Blushing furiously I explained they were mine. Might as well get it over with. "See, that always used to be my style. But I thought just for fun I would see what it would be like to borrow my big sister's style. These are really her things I am wearing." That does it, I thought. I am ruined in this community. Bu t he didn't stop smiling as he said "Oh that's not so unusual. I know kids who have gone through that phase." Really? I wanted to ask. I somehow couldn't believe what I was hearing. He gave me his name and number on a card and I said thanks, we would have more things for him in a couple weeks. He got out a notepad. "Do you mind giving me your own name? I write down the details of my trips for the shop, so I can take a tax deduction." "Oh so you are not an employee?" "No sir, ma'm; every last one of us is a volunteer. I work 12 hours a day Monday through Thursday so on Friday I relax by volunteering!" I laughed at his little joke. "It's nice to meet you Mr.Thomas. I'm sure we'll see you again soon. My name is Don." Again he didn't flinch, just shook my hand and said thanks again. He loaded up our donations into his black pickup and took off. Whoa! That had been so much easier than I had expected. Were people here really that much nicer than they were back home? I decided to try an experiment. I picked up an old purse of Sis', added my debit card and ID, and borrowed her bike. It was newer than mine but not much good for stunts. It was powder blue, and the tires were white (and clean). I would just look too weird riding my own bike. I pedalled around the neighborhood but didn't see what I wanted. Then, off to the side down a hill, I saw a traffic light and what looked like some shops. I coasted down there and found a little business area, not the real downtown, but there was a drugstore and a small grocery, a tanning place, a laundromat, and a restaurant. Italian American, great! I would have my spaghetti and meatballs after all. I walked in and took a seat, trying not to sit like a boy. A big motherly woman came up to me. "Rosie's busy with other tables; can I help you, honey?" Nobody but Mom ever calls me honey, but I smiled and said yes, I was starving for spaghetti and meatballs. "Good choice!" she chortled. "Ours are the best in town." Other diners smiled and nodded at me and I smiled back. This must be one super friendly town! The lady was right, the food really was terrific. The only drawback was that I was afraid I had sauce on my face and had not thought to bring a compact with a mirror. There was still food left, really quite a lot of food, but I was not sure I could finish it as I pushed back my chair and went to the ladies' room. I did not relieve myself there, and tried hard not to look at anybody, I am not dirty minded. I just took a glance in the mirror, saw the sauce on my cheek which I had suspected, and dabbed it off with a piece of paper towel. There was another person using the mirror too; I was standing behind her, and as she finished she backed up into me. "Oh I'm so sorry!" she said. "No, it was my fault," I replied, hoping I had not violated some unknown rule of ladies' room etiquette. But she simply smiled and patted my hand as if she were my grandmother. "It's really too small in here, she has so many customers!" she chuckled. I asked for a "doggie bag" (for spaghetti? But they did have them there so others must use them too) and paid my bill with mom's card. My hostess was at the register and asked if everything was satisfactory. I said it was wonderful, but I blurted out what I had told Mr. Thomas. My name is Don, I am trying on my big sister's stuff. She gave my forearm a friendly little squeeze and said "I don't know why you are telling me this, but don't worry, you look just fine." She swiped my card without a question and never even asked to look at my ID. As I slowly pedalled back up the hill, a few stars began to appear. What a day this had been! I was like a totally new person. But everybody seemed to completely accept me, and even to like me. What did this mean? I put the bike away, and went back to my own room. I took all the clothing off and folded it up on my dresser. I did not take off the extensions because they were such a pain to get properly installed in the first place. It was still warm out, so I did not put on any pajamas, or any nightgown either. One last look in the mirror. Now there was the head of a pretty girl stuck onto the body of a scrawny kid.