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Julia and I sat down to a fish dish when I spotted a familiar woman
walking around the food court, she wore the same clothes as the rest of
us: white blouse, black blazer, black skirt, high heels, but was the
spitting double of a Sharon a six foot curly blonde who was once a co
worker and friend of mine in McGuires human resources department.
I saw straight off that she had been crying when I approached and offered
her a seat at mine and Julia's table. She wiped her eyes and contained
her visible confusion and upset as she sat down.
"what's your name ma'am?" Julia asked.
"Sharon," she said partially confirming my suspicions so I asked if she
was the Sharon Downey I knew.
She nodded and looked at me as though trying to remember my face, she
couldn't hope to since the transmogrification erased all physical traces
of my former identity.
"How long have you been here ma'am?" Julia pressed.
Sharon told us she has been wandering a few floors for hours, both she
and her husband were attacked in their beds late in the night by women.
Two women attackers dragged her down stairs, she glimpsed the most evil
looking woman dressed in black pinning her husband down to their bed
before someone else in the room closed the door. Sharon remembers them
using a injector gun at the bottom of the stairs and then she spent a
night in a moving van with some girl dressed in Sharons dressing gown
who was drifting in and out of conscientiousness. She says she held this
girl tight to her all the way to their destination.
One of her women abductors opened the door and told her they had merely
drugged the girl and she would be fine. This woman fired a taser gun at
Sharon. She said when she came too she spent some time in a hospital room
on one of the higher floors with a woman called Megan who helped her slip
into the uniform, Megan lead her down to these offices, she told her to
mingle and find something to do before disappearing into the crowd.
"I just want to be with my husband," Sharon sobbed and put her head in
her hands, her emotions ceased conversations at other tables, the other
women stared blank.
Julia told everyone else to mind their own business while I helped Sharon
to brave herself up and took her to my and Julia's apartment.
I asked her if she knew who we were, where she was and what's happened.
"No," she wept, "I was just told I would be staying here forever for my
sins. Is this hell?"
By the time we arrived at the apartment she had perked up a bit. Though
everything inside me screamed at me not to, I had to crush her feelings
once more, there was just no way preventing it and prolonging her
ignorance of the situation may lose me the best friend I've known in the
past and could continue to have around these drab offices.
I told her I was Dave and she gave me a confused and strange look so I
brought up a holiday we took together as friends in the Caribbean, one
where we joined with a few other couples to do activities.
"It's really you?" she asked feeling my face and I nodded explaining I
have been here for six months.
Sharon asked how it happened and if it was voluntary so I told her it
wasn't done willingly for any of us, for reasons we don't fully
understand there's this witch, Evelyn, who does this to men thinking our
masculinity is a disease so she uses magics to turn us into women, I told
Sharon I was visiting a hospital and Evelyn made my body into a cocoon, I
came out like this, she uses what's leftover to fuel her powers.
Julia came in with a bottle of wine and glasses, she handed one to
Sharon: "Here hon you'll need it."
I enquired about Sharon's marriage to this man called Jonathan as I never
met him and never ever known her to be with boyfriends or have a ring on
her finger.
"He was Jonathan," Sharon finally began smiling and enthused "He is a
private detective I went to him to help find you after you went missing.
It was like no one gave a crap, not our boss, not your friends, I spoke
to your mum and she wasn't bothered in the least, it was weird like no
one but me missed you."
I wondered if Evelyn somehow got to mum and everyone else and did
something to change their perception and memories of me and everyone
else.
"No one cared that you could be dead or a hostage, it was horrible so I
found comfort in Jonathan, he was the only one there for me and we hit it
off real quick. We got married about two months ago and I think I am
pregnant with his kid. It might be three months old that's when the
sickness began," she said as she felt her belly.
I wanted to shout "yes", I wanted to stand up lift Sharon off her feet
and hug her then remembered I have since lost more then half my strength
and would just strain myself doing so.
"If you are pregnant it doesn't show ma'am," said Julia not as a
compliment but as a observable fact.
"Dave," Sharon addressed me as such before swallowing "Jonathan said he
tracked you to the general hospital, he believed he was onto something
big then this bizarre stuff started happening about a week ago. He was in
all the local papers accused of fiddling with kids and now we've been
taken, do you think they killed him?"
I reminded her of the girl in the gown she had comforted on her journey
here, explaining that girl in her gown she was with may have been
Jonathan. Sharon covered her hands over her mouth, tears streamed down
them, this just wasn't the Sharon I knew she was always stronger then
this and now she was falling apart. It was an awful feeling, I have seen
her cry before but never felt empathy, never been hit by it like I did
then.
"It's me Shazza, I'm here for you," I said as I sat down next to her and
comforted her like I never used to, it felt right to do so at the time.
"But your not, it's not you Dave! I'm looking at a girl!" Sharon said
"what did you call yourself? Kim was it?" she said but gave me no chance
to correct her: "It's weird, you weren't like other guys, I don't mean
that in a gay way, you weren't a girly guy, I mean you were like a mate!
How many men and women co workers can go on holiday, wake up hungover
from partying in their own separate beds? I didn't think men and women
could just be just friends until I met you!"
I didn't confess something I have long suppressed to spoil her illusion
of me, the feeling was always mutual, I valued her friendship too much to
have a cheap fling in bed and hopefully have become a better person more
sensitive to women with this experience.
"You don't need to be sorry Dave you didn't do anything wrong ever, I
realise that now, I can accept it. you were there for me even through my
funny days," she said ignorant that I won't have the full experience of
being a woman, that I won't have 'funny days' until I submit to Evelyn.
I did have to intervene and inform her of one thing, what she was calling
me, since this forced transformation I have come to accept there's no
going back, I am what I am now. "Let's stop with calling me Dave Shaz,
it's Kim. I'm stuck like this forever. It's not through surgery, Evelyn
uses magic that turns us men outside in..," (Julia snorted and quickly
left the room she was sipping her wine way too fast before this) "...and
as far as anyone knows we cannot be changed back. My snickering flatmate
Julia there was once a boy called Harvey who broke into one of Evelyn's
properties, she changed him after doing it with him."
"Boy?" Sharon looked puzzled.
I explained how Harvey was fifteen when Evelyn got him but for the life
of me, couldn't explain it properly, Sharon barely let me talk, as though
everything was getting to her again.
"And she's what forty now?" Sharon referred to Julia's apparent age.
I told her Julia's in her early thirties and has been since she arrived,
that we haven't aged a day and won't until we die or are freed to live
out our lives as women.
"She's been here fifteen years?" Sharon asked still not getting it and
annoying me.
"No, just three, she is thirty three physically but looks like she's in
her forties see Evelyn's magic makes us into working women not models,
lookers or babes. For example, a few girls have to wear glasses, I heard
some developed long sightedness, glue ear, asthma and other medical
conditions after this change and I know one who wears an adult nappy."
Sharon looked me up and down, I am one of a few exceptions to what I just
said, I recall the first thing Julia commented about me on day one was my
physical attractiveness, I'm not movie star gorgeous but a office beauty
nonetheless.
"She's been kind to you though suger tits," Sharon remarked referencing a
TV show we used to watch together on some nights.
"Has she hell." I felt anger but not at Sharon, just the injustices I
have witnessed "Until six months ago we had a flatmate called Amy who
came when I did she couldn't adjust and Evelyn killed her in front of us.
Then three months ago Julia saw her kill a girl called Sandy who's been
here for five years, Evelyn melted her head simply for asking if she
could get a letter out to her children saying goodbye, Sandy just needed
closure on her past life and Evelyn wouldn't have it."
Sharon stood up in horror, I half expected her to freak out about
witches, magic and the killing going on around here: "Tell me your
fucking kidding me!"
I sat her down again and told her I wasn't. I will never forget Amy or
sweet Sandy, she was a great woman who was trying to move on with her
life, she always talked of the kids she fathered before the
transformation, she suspected the youngest now nine, the other eleven.
She tried not to fret about them growing up fatherless and wanted to know
if her former best mate was taking care of them. I think Evelyn killed
her out of jealousy and spite.
Unexpectedly, Evelyn walked into our apartment, she looked like a
ballroom lady from eighteenth century France, I squeezed Sharon's hand
tight signalling her not to talk out of turn and saw the fear in her.
"Kimberly," Evelyn grinned at me, "you're looking great."
She came over and raised her hand, I flinched but then eased as she was
stroking my cheek, she put fingers on both cheeks and ran them down to my
chin, she ran both hands around my waist commenting on me not having flab
through all the swimming and jogging I have been doing.
"Are you happy Kimberly?" Evelyn asked.
"Very happy," I said realising she was moving her face closer and closer,
her eyes closed, she presented her lips, I glanced to Sharon as she
looked away and then I closed my eyes as mine and Evelyn's lips met. We
kissed, I let go of Sharon's hand and held Evelyn's arms wanting to push
her off but the thought she'd burn me, make my skin explode or melt me
into a puddle kept our lips together until she decided to break it off.
"Yummy little thing. You taste of blueberries," Evelyn said licking her
lips.
As she gazed into my eyes I saw a hint of humanity in her eyes, nothing
like the murderous predator she actually is. She turned her attention to
Sharon.
"And here Kimberly we have our new girl whom I'll christen Mary." She
placed a name tag on Sharons blazer.
"It's Sharon," Sharon dared to correct her, I braced myself for Sharon to
die in agonising pain instead Evelyn smiled.
"I like that name, its cute and does suit you. Okay, Sharon it is then,"
Evelyn said, she then placed her hands on Sharons belly, Sharon gave no
resistance.
"And this little person in here is..."
"My husband and I haven't named it yet," Sharon informed unperturbed
despite Evelyn knowing she was pregnant. "We were going to wrap
everything up and make a new life for ourselves elsewhere I swear."
Evelyn wasn't fooled, she waggled her finger "Nice try. Your here forever
now Mary, you and your child are part of the family."
"You bitch! you slut! You destroyed my life! You took gentle Dave and
turned him into your plaything, you destroyed Jonathan, I'll bet it was
you who said he was a paedophile and now your destroying me and my
child!"
Evelyn turned her back on us, I felt liquid trickling down my legs into
my heels as I held Sharon close to me.
"Do you know what Lucinda, the girl we liberated from Jonathan has done
since she came here? I'm looking at her right now in the Red building and
she's doing anything but pining, grieving or missing you, you little
WHORE! You wanted to be with your friend? well there's your real friend
with all the crap cut off of her!" Evelyn pointed at me.
As Evelyn walked out the door, she then turned around glaring at the both
of us "If you talk to me like that again I will kill YOU! I will kill
Kimberly, I will kill your child and I will kill Lucinda. Believe it!
I'll make you wish you were never born!"
I thought things were finally settling down for the evening, Julia was
passed out on her bed, I was in my nightie on the settee after a hot
shower to clean my legs. Sharon was absorbing it all, thinking things
through, we thought it was all over until we got Evelyn came back with a
guest just over a hour after she had left.
Her guest was Bethany Downey, Sharons mum.
"Mum!" Sharon reached out for her, they hugged for a minute.
"Sharon where have you been?" Beth was close to tears as she let go and
pushed away.
Sharon improvised to appease Evelyn "I.. work here now, I had to get
away! I love you mum!"
Evelyn raised her hand behind Beths head, who's expression turned blank
then her eyes rolled up into her head, her mouth opened I heard snapping
and squelching before realising Evelyn had her hand inside the back of
Bethany's head.
She pulled it out and Beth crumpled to the floor she stared up at me as
blood pooled behind her head, I grabbed Sharon who was aghast and Evelyn
wiped the brain and bone matter off her fingers, with the wave of that
same gorey hand Bethany combusted into ashes.
"Just to show I'm deadly serious," Evelyn said as she left us "Kimberly
clean that up."
I got very little sleep that night through comforting Sharon and getting
her to sleep in Amy's bed. I didn't even think to give Beth a eulogy, I
just sucked her ashes up in the hand vacuum and dumped her in the kitchen
bin before retiring to bed. I never gave her a second thought until
morning when I made a pot of tea and put a milk carton in the bin. It's
like they were taunting me.
I turned around right into the smiling face of Evelyn.
"Blueberries," she said and wrapped her arms around me stealing another
french kiss.
The sensation felt right yet I was kissing perhaps the worst killer in
history, I couldn't forget Beths twisting face, I couldn't forget Amy's
eye in the remnants of her face, both in their last seconds of life
through this woman. Within seconds she broke it off and pushed me away
wiping her mouth.
"You now taste of horse radish now, that won't do!" she scowled "Did you
know Julia tastes like a fruit forgotten by men because it went extinct
hundreds of years ago? It's nice but not as nice as blueberries but at
least Julia's taste is consistent, so it's over between us Kimberly."
I looked at the bin and then decided to ask if everything that happened
last night was for real, there was something amiss about Sharon and
Bethany's reactions, I swear Sharon pulled back a bit.
"Was that her mommy do you mean? No, she was an actress I fashioned from
a little pop princess in the yellow building to help ease Mary into her
new life here," Evelyn revealed
"Mary? I thought you'd settled on Sharon," I said
"No, Sharon died yesterday, she's my little Mary now like your my darling
Kimberly. Remember that," those were Evelyn's parting words.
When Sharon walked into the kitchen after Evelyn left she was clearly
devastated from last night she shrugged me off saying I don't have to
keep cuddling her.
The peculiar thing is I greeted her as Mary, per Evelyns instructions,
and she had no problems with it, the pain of losing her mother, husband,
whatever torment people put her through with these accusations against
her husband it must have spiritually killed Sharon. I kept referring to
her as Mary and she made no errs in calling me Kim. From that day Dave
and Shaz were history, it was Kim and Mary, best mates in the gray
building at least until Mary had a relapse about two months ago.
It was two months ago found Mary in the bathroom where she was feeling
her bulging belly sobbing about her life, she snapped at me for calling
her Mary saying she is Sharon and I am Dave, it was a hormonal reaction I
understand but still unsettling at the time.
"My husband is gone my best friend is now neurotic and my mum is dead,"
she cried.
I was terrified she would kill herself, both for fear of losing my best
friend and the life within her and also fearing for Julias life. Julia
once told me Evelyn killed the flatmates of a girl who committed suicide
by slitting her wrists and the same could happen to us.
Through all the confusion that followed I found myself following Sharon
down a seemingly endless stairway, we couldn't reach the bottom and for
many floors there were no entrances or exits. She grew more and more
desperate until Evelyn and a timid older Asian woman joined us.
"You'll never reach the bottom," Evelyn said, "it's not magic, it's just
you are in a universe where physics don't work like yours."
She descended a few flights and passed us again, and again and again
until we followed her to a new area with a fire exit and Sharon opened it
revealing a endless impossible darkness beyond it, it looked like the
night sky only it was starless and brought out despair in all of us
except Evelyn.
Sharon grabbed me and we cowered in a corner through this emotion we
suffered, the Asian woman clung to us too.
"Make it stop!" the Asian girl cried at what I think was some psychic
phenomena.
"Kimberly, Mary meet this thing hasn't adjusted at all and so is useless
to the family," Evelyn introduced us to the Asian woman.
She grabbed her by the back of her neck, tearing her from us, lifting her
off her feet, she threw the poor woman into the darkness where she
expanded and faded becoming the darkness. She didn't scream or fight she
just died.
We watched as a green cube object drifted into view before Evelyn closed
the doors, it was a mercy that the despair lifted.
"What was that?" I sobbed
Evelyn pointed at me and said it was the fears, doubts and vileness of
men personified, she then grabbed my chin and pulled me level with hers,
she spoke directly to Mary.
"I love Kimberly but she reeks of poison. That disease was killing her,
edging her to that very darkness. Make no mistake I have cured her but
not fully, now she needs our love and our time for recovery otherwise
I'll have to do to her what I have to too many of her sisters, her life
depends on your happiness and adjustment Mary, keep that in mind."
Evelyn left us, we went up a few flights to the offices and found work
doing stock requisition together, it's the way I have handled grief in
the past. Mary seemed to be deep in thought while we did it, she was
unfocused and many times I thought she would toss the clipboard and
demand we stop but she didn't she continued on. She didn't join us for
exercise or Scrabble in the rec room but she did wake up the next day
with a smile on her lips and a song in her heart.
Weeks later I braved the showers in the dressing room of the girls
swimming pool. Seeing naked girls all soapy and wet was not the turn on
it would have been all those months ago, and what ensued shown I may
never be turned on again. It was strange being among them and knowing
they were once men who would have given a arm and leg to witness this
soapy scene, Mary is the only real woman I know of here but she was
indistinguishable from the others.
"Tell me the truth," she asked us all, "do you miss your fire hose?"
It made many smile nervously and some others looked away blushing.
"No," one brave individual said aloud.
"I haven't even thought about mine in months," another said.
"I feel like it's still there," someone said but in the chatter I
couldn't find out who thanks to our high voices.
"Mind if I check something?" Mary asked me I said yes and she knelt down
and requested I keep my legs apart, I didn't stop her, the other girls
looked on curious, like me they wanted to know what she was doing.
"You don't feel this?" she asked.
I didn't, not a thing since the transformation it has been a numb, only
functional as a pee hole. Mary got permission from the other girls to
examine theirs, they revealed they don't feel anything either, Mary told
us what she was doing was inappropriate and not to be repeated just as
she gave us quite a bit of wisdom during her stay.
"All your Hymens are undisturbed," she said whilst examining Jane's
vagina. "I noticed none of you have had periods in all my time here."
She came back to mine and pushed my thighs together to no effect, she
squeezed my vulva and nothing happened. "This is not natural at all if
you can't feel it."
"How so? It's said you can kick a woman in this region and she won't feel
a thing," Jane said.
"That's utter nonsense they are every bit as sensitive as mens, I've been
sticking my index up your vags and you don't feel a thing like normal
women do. I know Kim and Julia don't bleed, have any of you bled or
masturbated?" We shook our heads. "You don't even act like real women
much and you don't seem to care about any of it."
Jane cut right in "Now hold on a fucking second, you think we don't give
a shit? Are you fucking blind? You think you limey (English) bitches are
the only two who want to do something about this?"
"No you do care in that way, you just aren't rebelling as much as you
should, she's turned you into eunuchs."
Mary has never rebelled either, we haven't seen Evelyn since my encounter
in the kitchen and since then Mary hasn't once had us disrupt operations
here despite having every right to rebel. Did she forget her mum? Did she
forget she saw her die right in front of her? Or is she aware that wasn't
her real mother like I was. It would be presumptuous to assume she was
fooled considering Sharon was raised by Beth and saw her day in day out
while I was only familiar with being mothered by her on a weeks holiday
to Spain over a year ago.
"I have a theory," Mary said. "Your ants in a anthill of a sort."
Greta, one of Evelyns oldest explained that it was a good analogy that
worker ants are sterile and all female.
"Why?" Jane asked to which we could give no answer.
A few weeks later, Mary's bulge got bigger, she needed assistance walking
around due to swollen feet, this brought me closer to Jane, Greta and
many others around the office, I had women I never met asking if she's
okay. I spent many a evening rubbing her ankles, she said she'd have
preferred strong male hands but her girl Kimmy's hands will suffice. The
women in the office had a little competition to guess what sex the baby
would be, I thought it would be a boy.
Mary allowed me to feel the bulge once when it kicked and it just wasn't
as magical as I thought it would be. Julia might have blown that
experience because she said recounted when her momma was pregnant with
her kid sister. As Harvey she used to help her and gotten so excited
about having a younger brother and stable family, but after baby Pam was
born their momma began to neglect them and when pa left the home it was
Harvey fending for his kid sister.
"The night I broke into Evelyns house, I left Pam home alone with a
Friday the 13th film and some Popcorn while momma went to a bar. I
planned on being home at eleven but then this happened."
I think that killed the mood a little, she even broadcast that story at
the baby shower between us and a few of our workmates and made for
ackward silence there, we all have a sad story like some ex dads miss
their kids but we don't know what to say to Julia.
It was yesterday that Mary's water had burst and soaked the carpet, we
laid her on a desk and she screamed for ages in pain saying something was
wrong, some girls ran into the stairway to find the infirmary but kept
returning saying they couldn't find any help. All of a sudden we were all
decked when Evelyn appeared, she used her power to paralyse Mary and then
she paralysed everyone including myself in the room, I felt a electric
shock go right through me and collapsed, a chubby woman called Tess
landed on top of me. Evelyn moved us both, she checked me over and
positioned me to where I had my back to Mary I was unable to see what was
going on but I heard her screaming for ages. The fake windows with a
video feed from Earth went black, the traffic sounds ceased and then it
was just Evelyn humming as Mary whimpered and groaned. Then Mary screamed
to the top of her lungs begging Evelyn to stop whatever she was doing
until there was the sound of cutting and then a baby crying. Some girls
sighed with relief for the delivery but I heard Mary panting heavily and
then I regained my mobility with everyone else.
Evelyn was gone and Mary was a sweaty, bloody mess on the floor, she was
gasping away, Evelyn had cut a cross in her belly the umbilical cord was
lying out next to a pair of scissors, I took Mary's hand and heard her
fading breaths in the silence and then she was gone. I closed her still
lifeless eyes and kissed her on the forehead.
My good friend was dead.
Today Julia and I were in my bedroom listening to some radio, Julia was
rather restless, she was painting her toe nails while I started typing
this then she was reading a magazine.
"It's just the two of us again," I said.
Julia began braiding my hair a while ago and has blabbed on saying she
wonders how women braid hair, personally I am wondering why women braid
hair, I know Julias a bag of nerves and practising being a girl helps her
cope. The thing is, she couldn't keep it up, she sat down on the bed and
started hyperventilating, I got her to calm down but she has been shaking
uncontrollably.
"Do you think she'll ever let me go?" Julia asked referring to Evelyn. "I
just wanna go home. I miss my sister."
A few months ago Mary and I brought that up in a discussion we know they
will never let her go, Julia will be here until she's had a good few
decades behind her, by then the fast rot sets in and body functions
cease, other 'statics' called it stopping. I can forsee Julia dying in
bed alone if Evelyn doesn't destroy her first, she will never be free.
I so badly want to wake up from a nightmare, I want to wake up in my own
bed in a sweat and find it was all a dream but now that I have been
witness to the darkness I feel more alive and awake then ever before.
I hope to one day walk the Earth a free woman, to feel a breeze on my
skin, to work in a office and to maybe have a family of my own.
By my calender it's been a year since I was transformed, having Shaz
around brought everything back to me, perhaps now, I can become Kimberly
for real without her.
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