Amy 16: Michelle Cho's Wild Ride free porn video

Michelle Cho's Wild Ride by Amy Komori The original characters and plot of this story are the property of the author. No infringement of pre-existing copyright is intended. This story is copyright (c) 2012 Amy Komori. All rights reserved. Chapter One: The Story of How I Moved Here from Tulsa and Met This Amy Komori Girl I'll tell you straight up, dude, this town fucking sucked whenever we first moved here. But it's not like we had a choice. We moved here from Tulsa, Oklahoma, of all places. Do you know anything about Tulsa? It's so hot there in summer, and super cold in winter and this thing they call the Arkansas River? It's nothing but a big belt of smelly mud sometimes, plus there are these refineries or whatever on one side that spew fire all night. All day, too, I guess, but you can't see it then so much. Oh, and the Praying Hands and the Prayer Tower at Oral Roberts University. Fucking Oral Roberts. Yeah, a town with a huge Christian college and then all these Native-run bingo places. But then there's even another huge university and all these like famous museums and also opera and ballet and whatnot. I guess it's kind of cultural, too, because a lot of major companies have their headquarters there. Maybe they want to have nice places for their employees to go to after they finish work. Okay, I don't know. I was a kid when I lived there and it seemed huge to me then. That's Tulsa. It was like 5 times the size of this place. I'm always in places with universities, and this town is just about half university and half town The university here is just huge! Like more than 30,000 students and it's the center of business life. But you know college towns. So that means downtown is like super dense with fun places like bars and clubs and live venues all within walking distance of each other. Not that I can get into them all the time. Or hardly at all. But I do go to a lot of all-ages shows, and I know shitloads of people so that's all right. Oh fuck! I totally forgot! My name is Michelle Cho and I'm the shortest girl at Delacroix High but I don't let that stop me. My first best friend is this girl Dallas, who's totally opposite of me. My other best friend is this girl Amy Komori, who looks almost like she could be my sister. Well, not really. But we look more alike than she and her real big sister do, which is the strangest thing. Anyways, Amy's best friend is this kid Sarah McAvoy, who I like a lot but sometimes I want to slap. To be honest, I want to slap everyone a lot of the time, but Sarah kind of gets on my nerves because she's so dithery. Oh, I love Sarah. I really do. She's super sweet and will do anything for you (probably too much) and she's wicked smart, but she's really spacey and, like I said, dithery. Or is that the same thing? Anyways, we had to move here from Tulsa because my dad lost his job with this stupid oil company and my parents ended up divorcing over it. We had a hard time. I went from making straight As to hardly being able to study because the dickwads at this bank or something kicked us out of our house and we moved into this church basement--thanks, Jesus, even if I don't believe in you--and all the kids who I thought were my friends started making fun of me because I had to wear clothes from Goodwill. Now a lot of people in this town think Goodwill clothes can be hip or cool, but when you don't have any choice in the matter, they're not happenin' stuff. So fuck you, townies. Just kidding! I love you guys! The way you drink PBR is so awesome! Actually, I had to wear boy clothes a lot. I didn't mind because I wasn't into dresses at the time anyways, but these were shitty hand-me-downs and not exactly the coolest in the world. I could at least pretend to be a boy sometimes, or whenever we were at the supermarket or something, sometimes people mistook me for one, which I have to admit was a little bit thrilling in a way. I mean, I'm happy being a girl and all but I'd be lying if I said I didn't wonder what having a dick was like. I think a lot of girls wonder. But maybe a lot of guys wonder what it's like to have a vagina, so maybe it all balances out. Really, though, how would I know? But yeah, I got picked on because people couldn't tell if I was a boy or a girl, and at my size, being picked on is serious shit. My brother started teaching me to fight back and I got into a lot of trouble, so it was a relief for my whole family including my dick-ass ex-dad when my mom got a job offer to work at this university. We packed up what we had left and drove across country and the next thing I knew I was going to Delacroix Elementary and hanging out with Dallas, who was also kind of a girly-girl, but weird and really funny once you got to know her. Also, like my clothes at the time, I didn't have much choice in friends and by the time I did, I really liked Dallas and wouldn't give her up for anything. Nowadays I could give a shit whether my clothes are for guys or for girls. I'm hardcore into rolling so I wear a mix of stuff. The funny thing is, some people see Dallas and me hanging out and I'm dressed all skater or whatever and they figure we're like dykes or something, but we're not. Well, I'm pretty sure Dall is into girls. I was sleeping over one time and we kissed, but it was more her kissing me than me kissing her. As for me, I only like guys. Isn't that weird? I guess what I'm trying to say is maybe I should have been born a gay guy! Oh fuck, life is so messed up. Whenever I got into skating, that's when I met Amy. I took to her right away. You could tell she was kind of full of shit, though. She talked big a lot of the time-- although nothing like she does now she has at least a little game to back it up finally--but I could see right through her. She was just a scared little kid. Well, to be honest, so was I but my brother taught me how to take care of myself. I didn't go around assuming everyone else knew how. Why do I like Amy? At first it was because we were practically the only girls at the skate park, and the only two rollers. Because while I dabbled in wood-pushing whenever I was a kid, like my brother who was super good at it but didn't give a shit, inline really got my motor running big time. I was so shocked when on my very first day at the skatepark I found out there was already this other Asian sensation doing inline among the boarders, too. Oh, by the way, my grandparents on both sides came from Korea, not Japan and not China, but my mom, dad, brother and I are from America, dude. Learn the fucking difference, all right? "Hey," I said to this girl that first time. She looked at me like, What the fuck? Like she couldn't believe someone was talking to her. Then she said, "Hey," in this chirpy little voice, kind of looked me over with her eyes half closed and her eyebrows up like she was Princess Poop, then looked away, hand on her hip all cool. I almost died laughing. "Oh fuck!" I said, looking down at her skates. Brand new Salomon STs! Those had just fucking come out and I was instantly smitten with them. My own skates were shitty ones we got at Target. This kid had real inline skates. Then she dropped in without saying anything to me and I saw they were mostly wasted on her. She was too timid. Just up and down, up and down. I dropped in when she finished and caught some air, then hopped up on the coping beside her. "What's your name?" I asked. "Amy," she said, still winded from her run, but kind of looking at me and really seeing me this time. She dropped her voice a little, too and tried to make it husky. We were both sweating, leaning on our knees. She wasn't wearing gloves, which was stupid. She was going to have a major accident one of these days, I knew. "I'm Michelle," I told her, sweat dripping into my eyes and making me blink. "Your skates totally fucking rock, kid. I'm so jealous." She smiled and her face lit up. Despite her tan her face darkened as she blushed. I decided she was really super cute and we were going to be friends from then on whether she wanted to or not. But I have to say I got really mixed signals from her right from the start. From her clothes she looked like a total pro skater but something about her was just kind of off. My guess at the moment was she was possessed inside her of a totally fluffy core of pink marshmallow. Like out in public she was this major badass but if you went to her room at home it would be all My Little Pony or some childish shit. Hello Kitty everywhere and a princess canopy bed. I don't know what I got that vibe (maybe from her pussy ass run on the vert or the delicate way she moved on her skates, like really graceful like a little ballerina) from her, I just did. I later found out I was all kinds of wrong, but she does have a tendency to wear dresses a lot. Well, not a lot because she actually is a major tomboy, but she does glam it up with her friend Sarah sometimes. That's okay. Not everyone can be like me, fortunately. Anyways! Still smiling, she said, "Fuckin' A, dude," and I knew two things. One, from her accent, she was a total local unlike me. And two, she had a huge pottymouth, which made me like her even more. Black hair under a black helmet, thick black eyebrows like two half moons over her black eyes, dark lashes, high cheeks, this long royal looking nose, this small mouth with kind of plumpish lips like a sideways vag on her face. Tammed from being outside a lot and just a freckle here or there around her nose and one or two tiny little pimple bumps but hardly noticeable unless you were up close or sweat was glossing up that area and they made teensy shadows or something. A scattering of spider-web fine black hairs on her brown forearms. Like me, no boobage, or not much to speak of. She was wearing a puka shell necklace and one wrist was just loaded with beaded bracelets. The other had a red string tied around it. A gray-green Alien Workshop tee, huge jeans with frayed hems. Yeah, Amy was really physically boyish, but in a pretty feminine way and she seemed to just totally avoid all the guys around there, like they were invisible to her. She kind of kept away from them as much as possible, except for this one guy Patrick, who was majorly into her. It wasn't too hard to figure out, dude. Whenever I looked at him, his eyes were always zeroed in on her. Always. And he was always saying the rudest shit to her and pissing her off. Her face would get red and she'd say something back, usually worse than what he said. Boys are so fucked in the head, but I like them anyway. Suddenly, it crossed my mind Dallas would be totally into Amy. I had to introduce them. Amy was totally Dally-dall's type. If Amy was into girls, that is. Okay, so now you know how Amy and I met. Now I'll tell you some other shit about us! It's kind of complicated, but then a lot of things in life are. Or not. I mean, maybe they're simple. Well, who cares, right? They just are. And this one is like a ball of yarn after a lot of kittens get through with it. All tangled. Chapter Two: The Story of How Amy Became a Stupid Cheerleader as I Saw It Our first year of high school, Amy got mixed up with the cheerleading crowd. Oh my fucking god, I wanted to vomit. After that first day of knowing her at the skatepark, we'd gotten really close and I felt like I could count on her, you know? Count on her to make fun of people, to cause trouble and do stupid things that were totally entertaining. Like this one time we went to a college party and she got really drunk (we all did) and she started saying things that got us kicked out and she almost caused a fight. It was so hilarious! Well, to find out she had this whole other side of her, this cheerleader Barbie doll wannabe thing, was just such a surprise. But it turned out to be more twisted than that. There was some kind of drama going on between her and this girl Heidi Fleegleman, who was a grade ahead of us and the captain of the J-V cheerleaders. I don't want you to think it was like "Heathers" or "Mean Girls." Heidi was tall and blonde and all that and a lot of the guys and even some of the girls popped boners around her, but it's not as if she went around like she was queen of the school or anything. Some of the time she was nice to a lot of people, including me. You know, from time to time. Other times she could make you feel like shit just by existing. Generally the worst thing she and her friends did was snub people. Oh, and talk about them behind their back. Our ninth grade class was famous for being a lot of gossips and I guess it started at the top. But what really set things buzzing was something that happened between Heidi and Amy. No one on either side was really sure what to make of it. I took Amy's side right up until she took Heidi's. So Dallas and I got to talking about it one day whenever we were hanging out at my house doing homework and listening to the Amps. "I think it's love," Dallas told me. I was lying on my back holding my book over my head, but I rolled over. "Love? You mean Amy and Heidi?" "No. I mean Amy and Heidi's boyfriend. I think Amy joined the cheerleaders to get close to him." "You think?" "God, Michelle, you don't believe that car keying blackmail thingy do you?? ?I heard Heidi talking shit about it in the bathroom. I guess it could be true?? ?Have you ever watched Amy?? ?Yeah, I watch her all the time. I?m supposed to go over to her house tonight and watch her for her mom.? ?I?m serious. I don?t know if you?ve ever seen her staring.? ?Staring?? ?She stares at Heidi?s boyfriend. She stares at a lot of guys. She stares at the whole the football team.? ?I stare at them, too. They?re like gorillas on the loose. They?re kind of fun. It?s like having your own personal circus.? Dallas made a face. Okay, I thought some of the guys on the team were actually pretty hot and I could imagine like doing them up the tail pipe or something but other than that they were just in some other world. We didn?t mesh, even less than I did with poor Sarah. But Dallas, on the other hand, had this huge loathing for them. I mean she?d go off on them if you weren?t careful and you?d end up just having to nod your head until she petered out or went to sleep. ?What do you mean she stares at them?? I asked to get Dall back on track and talking again. ?I mean sometimes she just stands there kind of swaying, staring at them. Doing that tongue chewing thing she does. Actually, it?s not just the football team, but a lot of guys. I?m thinking football team because of cheerleading, I guess.? ?Superboy is on the basketball team, though.? ?Sports-shmorts. Who cares?? ?What tongue chewing thing?? ?She spaces out sometimes and chews on her tongue. Like its bubble gum.? ?Fuck you, she does not!? ?Okay, she doesn?t exactly chew it!? ?Oh my fucking God, chews her tongue? What are you talking about?? ?She kind of kneads it between her teeth sometimes. Those teeth on the side?? ?Molars. You notice the strangest shit, Dall. You?re such a freak.? ?I am not! Watch her sometime!? I snorted. ?We?re not exactly hanging out at the moment. She?s doing the pom pom dance with Heidi Fleegleman.? ?Pom pom dance? And you think I?m the freak?? Anyway, Dall and I didn?t resolve anything about Amy that night, but lusting after Heidi?s boyfriend was as good an explanation as any, I guessed at the time. It didn?t explain why Heidi was so demanding of Amy. Like I said, there was just something fucked up going on between them and it didn?t take long for the keying excuse to unravel and then the whole thing came crashing down, but not before I went to a Blue Devils football game and verbally abused Amy in front of all the normal kids in our grade. We decided she was Claudia from ?The Baby-sitter?s Club.? There was this one story where Claudia, who was Japanese American, betrayed the other sitters. I couldn?t remember all of it because I only skimmed it whenever I was a kid but this stupid poem one of the girls (I forget which one. Mary Anne? Ginger?) made up about Claudia. So I shouted it at the game. Then I felt like total shit about it. Amy looked miserable out there in that stupid blue and white uniform while our team got its ass kicked for the millionth time. She could fucking dance, though. What I said about her having this kind of gracefulness on her skates or whatever? It totally translated into dance skills, even though cheerleading dances at our school aren?t the most demanding routines ever. Even so, some of the cheerleaders you could tell had a feel for rhythm and this kind of freeness with their bodies. Amy just happened to be one of them. You know who else is a good dancer? I am. But nobody knows about it because I keep it a secret so I don?t embarrass all the other dancers in the world. So anyways, not long after that, we patched things up and she and Sarah, Gina and this girl Lena I didn?t know all that well formed a band they called Silly Monkey, which I thought was hilarious and Dall hated as a name even though she did the flyers for their first show, which I helped bring about because I happen to have connections and a kind of semi-boyfriend in Cream Corned Superstar, the band they opened for. His name is Bob. He?s pretty cool. He?s kind of ugly, but I don?t care. I think he?s total cuteness. We haven?t kissed or anything because he?s too scared to start, but we hang out a lot. He?s a lot older than I am, though, so we haven?t exactly made it public. Okay, it?s nothing serious. It just is. So anyways, in the aftermath of all the craziness, Amy and Heidi pretty much began open warfare. And Dallas pretty much told me she was crushing on Amy big time. We were at this little park not too far from Delacroix High, this place with swings and one of those metal slides that turn into hot griddles in the summertime so if you slide down them in shorts you cook your legs. Only it was November, so things had cooled off a lot. The leaves were changing and all that magical autumn stuff, only there were more pine trees around than oaks or maples or any of those so other than the dying grass and the chilly breeze, it could have been July for all you knew. Dall dragged me there after school because she wanted to make this big confession, which I?ve already spoiled for you. Her head was flicking all around like she couldn?t settle on just one thing to look at while she told me all about how she?d been thinking about Amy constantly and how she?d been filling up her dream journal every night with dreams about her, so many I thought she had to be lying just to pile on the drama. But she was obviously hurting. Not because she was finally telling me flat out she?s into girls, but because she?d figured out Amy didn?t like Superboy, she liked someone else, which made liking her even worse. ?Who does she like?? I asked. I expected some shocking name, but a guy?s name. Instead, Dall said, ?Gina.? I laughed. It made sense to me. ?Oh, yeah?? ?Well, I?m not 100 percent sure, but I?m pretty sure.? ?Just like you were about how she was so in love with Superboy.? ?Heidi you mean.? ?Huh?? ?Amy is in love with Heidi Fleegleman, too.? ?How do you know these things?? ?Because I?ve been paying attention to her for a long time now. I told you.? ?You did not.? ?I did! I told you about the tongue mashing and the staring and how she asked me to do Silly Monkey?s flyers and how she made me go with her to hang them up and how we had the best conversation ever?? ?Oh yeah.? Come to think of it, Amy was one of Dall?s chief topics of conversation, and had been since school started. ?How long have you liked her?? ?Since maybe the second or third time we hung out. Oh my god, Michelle, there?s just something about her.? ?Yeah, she?s cool. Does this mean you?re gay?? ?I don?t know yet. Maybe I?m gay. Maybe I?m not. There?s a really good chance I?m bi, because I?ve had crushes on guys before.? ?Who?? ?Terrence Alley in sixth grade.? ?Terry the Fairy? I know for a fact he is gay.? ?I know, I don?t care. He was total cuteness then and he still is now.? ?When you kissed me, did you have a crush on me?? ?No. I don?t know why I did that. I just felt like it.? ?So you?re saying I?m not as magnetically attractive as I thought.? ?No one is.? We talked until almost dark and then we realized we were going to be in some serious trouble, so we called Dall?s mom to come pick us up. On the way over to my house, I stared at the back of Dall?s head and thought, You like Amy Komori? Good luck, kid. Then I was like, Amy likes Gina? Who does Gina like? Anyways, so with Dall into Amy, that meant we hung out with her more. And yes, now that my eyes were opened to it, I realized Amy totally had it going on for girls. She did stare at boys, but not the same way. It?s not that she stared at girls. It?s just that she was always looking to see what Gina was doing, always trying a little harder, talking a little louder, being a little more funny whenever Gina was around. Whenever it was just her, Dallas and me, she was more low key unless I kind of energized her or something. But let Gina show up and it was like someone pushed a button and another Amy came out to play. Chapter Three: This Is the Part Where I Drive a Car! Gina. Oh shit, I forgot to tell you and this is really important! One thing that happened during the whole cheerleader shebang was Gina totally stole her mom?s car and drove Amy and Sarah out to Piney Ridge to visit this kid named Willis. Well, borrowed it. Oh my god, I can?t even begin to tell you how much that made me seethe with jealousy. I mean no wonder Amy had a thing for her. Gina was fucking hardcore. But I wanted to be! I had this drive to be the hardest of the hardcore girls at Delacroix High, so one night whenever Amy and Dallas were staying over at my house, I got this phone call from Bob. ?Hey,? Bob said. ?What?s up?? ?Little later when I get off work, we?re playing at our house and there?s a keg.? ?A keg?? ?Is there an echo? Yeah, we got it this afternoon. Look, I gotta go. My boss is giving me the stink eye. I can swing by and pick you up about 10:30, if that?s cool.? ?No.? ?No, it?s not cool?? ?No, don?t pick me up. Amy and Dall are here, but we?re coming to the party.? ?All right?? Bob sounded a little confused and amused. I could picture his little shit-eating grin. ?I?d better really hang up. See you tonight.? I hung up on him without even saying good bye. With a big grin of my own, I turned and looked at the other two girls. ?We have a plan.? Amy scowled. Dall looked bored. ?That?s not the reaction I wanted.? ?Oh,? Amy said, her dark eyebrows rising. ?Great plan, Michelle.? ?I haven?t told you!? ?I don?t care!? ?We?re going to Bob?s for a shitload of beer!? ?Now I care!? ?I don?t want to go,? Dallas said flatly. Both Amy and I turned on her. ?What the fuck, dude?? I demanded, with my voice squealingly high. ?You never want to do anything!? ?I do, too. I just don?t want to go to Bob?s house so you can disappear into his bedroom and make out while we sit around with all those beer cans and weird smells listening to his friends tune their guitars.? That kind of hurt because, as I?ve already told you, Bob and I have yet to kiss. ?I?m not disappearing anywhere. It?s a party. They?re playing. There will be tons of people there!? ?Tons of people. Now I want to go even less.? ?You?re going,? Amy suddenly said, her voice low. ?You?re going. I?m going. Michelle?s going. We?re all three going. We?re all three going and we?re going to have the best fucking time ever.? With her eyes narrow black keyholes turned sideways she looked like a devil girl. All three of us burst into gales of laughter and my mom came in to ask us what was the matter. I lied to her, told her it was nothing. Mom said she was going back to her room to lie down because she was exhausted from work, so then it was just a matter of waiting for her to fall asleep. Yeah, it would be like 11pm or later, but when Bob said 10:30, he meant more like midnight because he wouldn?t leave straight from work. He?d go to a bar and publicize his party and blab about it to all his college and townie friends and music scenesters and probably shoot some pool or something. The party wouldn?t really start going until midnight or after. A little after 11pm, when we were getting antsy, my mom?s light went out and not long after that I was creeping into the kitchen and lifting her car keys from her purse. ?Let?s go,? I said, jingling them softly in front of my friends? faces. ?Wait,? Amy said. ?You?re going to be with Bob. I want a date, too.? ?Dall can be your date,? I said. ?She?s a girl.? ?So?? ?I can?t date a girl.? ?Okay,? I said, ?Let?s make her into a boy.? Dall?s face went pink and she grimaced like someone had stuck a steaming poop under her nostrils. ?I don?t?? ?Come on,? Amy said, clutching her hands together in the classic begging pose. ?Be a boy for me. I don?t want to date a girl. Everyone already thinks I?m a dyke as it is.? ?That?s mean,? Dall protested. ?What?s wrong with being a?? ?She?s joking, dude,? I explained before Dall could get rolling. As for me, I was laughing my ass off inside at Amy trying to fool us into thinking she was remotely straight. ?Please?? Amy mock-begged. A faint smile creased Dall?s lips. She tried not to look at us. ?Just do it, Dall,? I whispered. ?P-p-pleeeeassse, Eddie!? Amy suddenly yelped in this really terrible Roger Rabbit impression. ?Keep it down, bitch. You?ll wake my mom,? I hissed. ?Okay, I?ll do it,? Dallas said. She sighed theatrically, but you could totally tell she was getting off on the attention, especially from Amy. Yeah, I realized all at once her having refused was just for show. Amy could have asked her to shave her head bald and paint her face gold and go as the Academy Award statue, and Dall would have done it. She was that desperate to get into Amy?s pants. And Amy didn?t have the slightest idea! Oh my god, all my friends are such dorks! ?Sweetness,? Amy said. ?Let?s?? But I was already a step ahead of her because I wanted to get the fuck out of the house and show everyone I was the baddest girl around. I assumed I knew how to drive. Anyways, I made both of them promise to be completely silent and I led them back to my brother?s room. We kept stifling giggles like kids, but you know how it is. Once you try to be quiet, it?s almost impossible. We outfitted Dall as best we could, which wasn?t that bad but not that great either. Her hair went under a Yankees cap, we got her this plaid oxford that was like four sizes too large and rolled up the sleeves. I went to my room, grabbed some boy jeans I knew would fit Dall and came back to find Dall in my brother?s underwear stuffing a rolled-up sock in the front with Amy pretending not to watch but practically trembling from wanting to. ?Put these on and let?s get out of here already,? I whispered. Dall pulled on the jeans, zipped and buttoned them, which made her fake package kind of bulge at the front. She fixed it so it wouldn?t be so obvious, then slipped some socks on her feet where they?re supposed to go and we went back down the hall to the kitchen door where our shoes were. We all had sneakers. ?Dall, you look like a gay boy,? Amy was saying. ?Great. That?s just the kind of guy who would date you. A gay guy in need of a beard,? Dallas said. ?A beard?? I asked. What did facial hair have to do with it? I looked at Amy, whose face was going through the motions of someone just as confused as I was. ?A beard is the person in a relationship with a gay person trying to appear straight for whatever reason,? Dallas explained. ?Like in Hollywood when leading men would marry leading ladies so the press wouldn?t?? ?History lesson walking,? Amy said as I opened the back door and we stepped out of the house on our way to adventure. ?You?re such a freak for knowing that,? I told Dall as we crept to the car. ?I just want you to know. You are a trivial knowledge freak.? ?It?s not trivia. It?s culture.? Okay, so I had a little trouble getting out of the driveway. First I had to figure out how to crank the stupid thing, for which Amy proved very useful. Then I almost drove forward and into the house because I had the car in D instead of R. We all let out shrieks at that, then sat there with our hearts pounding and staring at my mom?s bedroom window expecting the light to go on. It stayed dark. ?Gina did the same thing when we went to Piney Ridge that time,? Amy whispered. ?She did it because she was copying me in advance, you mean,? I said as coolly as you please. Then I backed out kind of diagonal and got onto the grass. I let out a hiss thinking about the tire tracks that would be so obvious the next day. Then I had to go forward again to get back on the driveway. ?I thought you were in this big hurry,? Amy said. ?Shut it,? I told her. ?Isn?t this enough excitement?? Dall kind of whined from somewhere in the backseat. ?You?re going to crash and get us all killed.? ?Dall, your name is Edward Beard,? Amy was saying as I finally got us into the alley and off we went. ?And if anybody asks, you?re pregnant with Eddie?s baby,? I told Amy. ?No!? Amy protested while laughing helplessly. ?I don?t wanna be pregnant! Why do I have to be pregnant?? ?Did you see Eddie?s dick? It?s huge. No one?s gonna believe a guy with a dick that huge didn?t totally knock your ass up the first time he stuck it in.? ?I?m taking the sock out,? Dall said. ?No, don?t,? I told her. ?No, it?s stupid. It feels weird anyways.? ?Leave it in, please,? Amy said. ?No,? Dall said. ?I don?t feel right doing this.? ?It?s just for the party,? I told her. ?Everyone?s gonna know it?s you anyways.? ?Fine. Just? don?t talk about it.? ?And I?m not pregnant,? Amy added, talking to me. ?Unless it?s your baby.? That?s the moment I noticed the little line thingy almost on the E. ?Oh shit!? I said. ?Gas!? ?I don?t smell anything,? Amy said. ?No, the car. See? The thing says it?s almost empty.? ?Do we have enough to get there and back?? That was Dall, who was now leaning up over the back of the front seat looking at the gasometer or whatever it?s called. ?I don?t think so.? ?Go to a gas station, dude,? Amy said. ?I don?t know how to pump gas,? I told her. ?I don?t even know how to drive.? ?I?ll do it. It?s not that hard.? ?Okay, cool. You can teach me.? ?Yeah, just don?t hit anything.? Okay, finding a gas station was the easy part. They?re all over the place. The hard part was figuring out how to use the turn signal and turn in without running over the curb. Somehow I managed to get the car into this Circle K safely and next to a gas pump without blowing us to smithereens, but when we got out, Amy showed me I had the gas cap on the wrong side, so I had to get back in and drive around again with Dallas sitting in the back like I was her chauffeur. By now we were all three getting super scared because we were so obviously not of age to be driving. But we had no choice because we were already there and exposed by the lights and the traffic running by and also the alternative was running out of gas and either calling my mom to come get us or walking home and letting her think her car had been stolen in the night. Despite her nerves, Amy proved she was a gas pumping champ. She showed me how to choose the right kind (the cheapest anyways) and lift the level and then stick the nozzle in the hole and pull the trigger. She looked so weird pumping gas. I mean, like me she?s tiny and there she was doing this everyday adult kind of thing like nobody?s business. And the big problem with Amy is, once she sees you?re in awe of something she?s doing, she gets full of herself. I?d already learned that lesson a few times, but on this particular night she decided to reinforce it. ?We have to go in to pay,? she said, screwing the gas cap back on until it clicked. ?No shit.? Dall opted to come with us because she was too scared to sit out in the car alone. Once we were actually inside the store, I felt all the blood rushing through my ears and my heart was about to pop through my rib cage like that thing in ?Alien.? Dall was paler than usual under her Yankees cap. Only Amy looked like her normal everyday self, although her lips were kind of plumped out and her was nose up. Like smug. Right away I started sensing trouble. Any other time I would have encouraged her! ?Um? we had 11.58,? I told the cashier, this bored looking young guy who needed a shave and to wash his face more often so he wouldn?t break out. It looked like he?d been pelted in the face by a lot of raspberries. He gave me this queer look, but decided not to ask about the situation. I was shaking like a leaf, like it was freezing inside the Circle K under the fluorescents where everything looked flat. Even though it was a nippy kind of night, it wasn?t so cold I should have been trembling. Okay, here?s where things started to go south and fast. The store was one of those places with the candy bars and gum and stuff on display in front of the register. Impulse buys and whatnot. Well, fucking Amy started grabbing candy bars and just sticking them in her pants pockets! She didn?t do it furtively or anything, just brazenly, right in front of the cashier. He gave her the same look he?d given me, but he didn?t say anything. Just tried to stare her down. She looked like she didn?t have a worry in the world except how many candy bars she could fit in her pockets. She scored a Twix, a Snickers, some Reese?s Peanut Butter Cups and still the cashier was saying nothing. Dallas started making these whimpering noises and I was about to faint. It took the cashier the longest time to give me my change, probably thinking I?d say something about paying for Amy?s candy bars, but as soon as I had the money in my hand, I turned. We all turned, and I felt the old fight-or- flight adrenaline rushing and it was screaming FLIGHT FLIGHT FLIGHT. And Heidi Fleegleman in all her blonde glory came in the door with some guy other than Superboy. We three froze, she froze. Her eyes with their thickly mascara-ed eyelashes went wide and her lip-glossed mouth turned into a circle. The guy she was with had this dumb grin on his face, like he was about to say something. Time slowed. It really did, honest to God! The cashier behind us, probably picking up the phone to call the cops, Heidi Fuckin? Fleegleman in front of us, her eyes suddenly going from half-dollars to little slits and her mouth starting to form the sound of F, top lip curled back from her front teeth which were kissing her bottom lip, Amy crinkling from the sound of her candy bar loot, Dall probably wetting herself. Someone shouted, ?RUN!? and I wasn?t sure if it was me, Amy or the cashier. In a gale of crazy giggles, the three of us rushed past Heidi and her date through the door and out to my mom?s car. We were screaming all kinds of crazy things, laughing, scared and thrilled at the same time. Our voices boomed and echoed and I kept picturing cop cars squealing up with all like flashing lights and mustaches out the yazoo. ?OH FUCK OH FUCK!? Amy was screaming over and over. ?OH MY FUCKING JESUS FUCK!? I couldn?t get the key in the ignition. My hands were no longer mine to control. ?SHE?S GOING TO CALL THE COPS ON US!? Dall shrieked. ?STOP SCREAMING!? I screamed. But we didn?t stop. We shrieked and screamed and squealed as I finally started the car and we lurched out of the gas station parking lot into traffic. I hunched low, clinging to the steering wheel like it was a life preserver. ?Fuck the party, dude,? Amy said out of breath. ?If we get back to your house alive, I?ll never go to another party as long as I live.? ?Me neither,? I agreed. ?Do you think they called the cops?? Dall asked. ?I don?t know,? Amy said. ?Why did you take all those candy bars?? Dall had to know. ?They were there. It seemed like the thing to do. I don?t know why.? Amy sounded kind of irritated. ?Well, they don?t know our names,? I said. ?They could have gotten our license plate,? Dall said. ?Yeah, there?s a three-state police manhunt on for us, dude,? I told her. ?Be on the look out for three girls who paid for their gas and stole some candy. Suspects considered armed with a rolled up sock and dangerous.? ?Just get us home,? Dall wailed, almost in tears. She disappeared in the darkness of the back seat, hiding. ?They?ll get Michelle and me,? Amy told her by way of comforting poor Dall. ?But you?re in the clear once you change clothes because they?re totally looking for a little gay boy.? ?Shut up,? Dall sniffled from somewhere behind me. So what seemed like hours later but was only like ten minutes or less, we were hanging out at back at my house, totally lucky to have made it back alive and without drawing any cop attention (and I had no idea what I was going to say whenever my mom noticed her gas tank was full again, which was bound to be sometime early in the day and result in a very lonely few weekend for me in the immediate future) and seeing Heidi inspired me, so I was totally giving Amy shit about being a cheerleader. At first Amy was laughing along with me but the more I pushed, the more she started kind of being quiet. Dallas (who was way over her sniffles and had changed back into her regular girl clothes) and I were talking about some stupid shit about ?Buffy the Vampire Slayer,? this TV show she was into at the time when suddenly Amy said, ?You know I really fucking hate Heidi, right?? ?I never doubted it,? I lied. I cut my eyes at Dallas, who flashed me this You little fucker look. Amy?s eyes narrowed and she looked really kind of wicked. If I?d had a gay bone in my body, it would have been pretty erect at that moment. She said, ?We need to come up with something to? to? you know?? ?No I don?t.? ?Get back at her.? ?For you agreeing to become a cheerleader?? Amy frowned. ?No, fucker. For being mean to people all the time.? ?She?s not that mean.? Now her famous temper flared. Her face darkened and her usually way tiny nostrils got larger. ?Why are you sticking up for her? You hate her as much as I do!? she said in this quivery voice. Not quivery afraid, but quivery adrenaline. I?d pushed too far, which I often do. ?Okay, do what to her?? ?Fuckin? forget it, dude. Forget I said anything. I?m going home.? She started to get up off the sofa, but I pulled her back down and climbed onto her lap, mashing her down into the sofa cushions. ?Amy, it?s like 3 in the morning. Don?t go. I?m sorry, dude. But I?m serious. Do what to get back at her? Do you have an idea?? Amy started to get back up. ?Get off me, dude. I don?t care what time it is. I?m going home. You?re being a bitch to me and I don?t like it.? I was just about to say something really cutting about how she was my prisoner when she pushed me off and I fell back onto the edge of our coffee table. It caught me right over my kidney with a loud BOOMP and it really hurt. I yelped and Amy came off the sofa, her eyes wide. ?Are you okay?? she asked, trying to keep from laughing. Now it hurt like a motherfucker but it was also funny, too, because I?d made a complete idiot of myself so I started laughing, which made me angry, which made me laugh more. ?No! I?m not okay!? ?Serves you right for being so mean.? ?I?m mean? You?re the meanest girl ever!? ?You wouldn?t let me leave! You practically crushed me!? ?Ow! It really hurts, stupid!? ?Oh, poor little one. Let me pee on it and make it feel better.? ?That?s jellyfish.? ?You pee on jellyfish?? ?YOU PEE ON JELLYFISH STINGS! STOP MAKING ME LAUGH IT HURTS!? Footsteps down the hallway. My mom opened the door and peered in, her eyes narrowed and puffy. ?Do you mind? You?re being very rude. Michelle, my belle, if you and Amy can?t be quiet, your friends are going to have to go home.? ?Sorry.? My mom almost smiled, then closed the door and went back to her room. Amy was just sitting on the couch, looking pissy. Then her face lit up. ?Oh shit! My candy bars.? ?Break them out,? I told her. ?It?s the least you can do for waking my mom.? ?You?re not getting any.? ?Dude, don?t even.? Amy was now grinning like the devil child we knew her to be right at my face as she fished in her pockets. Being kind of sunken into the sofa made it difficult, but she finally managed to pull out the Twix, which was obviously smashed. Her smile dropped at the corners. She pulled out the Reese?s, which was flat. Now she looked so sad, I almost started laughing. Amy put the first two candies beside her on the cushion, then pulled out the Snickers. She tore it open and looked down at me with this expression of total heartbreak, a Sarah McAvoy special if I?d ever seen one. It looked so weird on Amy?s face. ?Melted,? she whimpered in this breathy way.