Almost A Distater free porn video

Almost a Disaster by SONIA ===================== (email [email protected] - Please send comments. All stories available on: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Not_so_TraditionalLadies/ Author's note: I have several friends who have told me about their wives being supportive to their cross dressing at one stage and then turning against it. At least two friends now are in separate bedrooms from their wives because of, at least in part, their selfish approach to their dressing and that gave me the idea of this story ......... As I look back on thirty years of marriage to Suzie I think about the events leading up to meeting and marrying her and the twists and turns our lives have had........ We had been going out for over a year and we were almost inseparable and deeply in love. Suzie was great looking with long blonde hair, a great figure, fabulous breasts, and legs that were long and slender. She used to wear the most amazing clothes and was a girl who seemed to go against the trend in those days by preferring skirts and dresses to trousers which suited me totally. When we first met Suzie was 23 and I was just approaching my 24th birthday. I had a good job and good prospects and I had made a big decision in my life. I was going to ask her to marry me. Everything should have been perfect apart from one thing. Ever since about age 6 I had cross dressed! This was something that seemed to be part of me. I first started when I saw some of my mother's panties in the wash basket and they were so soft and lacy that I could not resist first touching them and then borrowing them and running off to my room and slipping them on. I was too young to have a sexual desire so I don't really know why I did it but when I put them on they just felt and looked wonderful. Over the next years I continued to borrow my mother's clothes and as I got older I then began to buy items for myself. By the time I got to go to University I had quite a collection. When I packed up my stuff to take with me I had one big sports bag with all my 'normal' clothes and a second slightly smaller with 'Jennies' clothes. I did not really try to be a woman, what I liked was the look and feel of the lingerie. I liked it as frilly and sexy as I could find and hated see through and skimpy. For me, panties had to be full cut with pretty contrasting lace around the legs. I did not dress up all that often but found it was like a burning desire that started as a low wish but as time passed that wish grew into a need that became almost unbearable. I would wait until the house was empty or my parents were in bed and then slip out of my male clothes and then dress in stockings with a suspender belt, bra and panties and maybe a slip and depending on how I felt I then either stayed in just my lingerie or put on a skirt and blouse and then just enjoyed being dressed as I was. Many times that was all I did, got dressed and then sat and read or listened to music. If my parents were away then I would spend the whole day cross dressed and would venture out into the garden and adored the feel of the cool air on my stocking clad legs. Although often I just luxuriated in the way I was dressed there were other times where my dressing was linked to sexual desire and on those occasions my masturbation was nearly always associated to dreams of being dressed up in my sexy outfit with an understanding girl who was equally sexually dressed and we would end up making love surrounded by all our silk and satin. I longed to share my dressing with a girl but somehow did not think that that dream would ever happen. At University I was very careful not to be discovered. In the first year I was in digs and dressing was difficult as I was in a shared flat on the campus put I still managed to have some time to myself mainly late at night and occasionally I wore stockings and panties below my university uniform of jeans and this was incredibly exciting to do. During the second and third years I rented a house, shared with 2 guys and 2 girls. When my friend, Ben, suggested the two girls I thought what an opportunity to see what clothes they had but this turned out to be a big disappointment. Although Rachel was good looking she lived in jeans and wore thongs which I loathed. Jackie was not very attractive and dressed in terrible outfits. The only fun thing that happened during the two years was when we went to a fancy dress party and we all hired outfits. I did not dare follow my real desire to go as a woman but Rachel wore a French maid's outfit and I was enthralled by it for the whole evening. It was typical black satin with white trim but what was amazing was she wore it with the supplied frilly chiffon petticoat and they also supplied matching black satin full frilly panties with loads of lace all over them. The outfit was very short and the panties were made to be seen and Rachel spent most of the evening doing just that!! I was absolutely in heaven seeing her in the dress and longed to try it on. Part way through the evening I asked Rachel for a dance and as luck would have it, it was a slow dance and I thought I was going to pass out when I cuddled up against her, feeling the petticoat between us. I allowed my hand to drop and caress the fabric. "Hey Rob. Do you like my outfit?" she said with a mischievous grin on her face. I blushed a bit having been caught drooling over the outfit and said, "I think it is very sexy indeed. Do you feel sexy wearing it?" "I really think it is the sexiest outfit ever. French Maids are every guys dream. I love the look of the petticoat." I realised I was probably getting a little bit over excited with the outfit and went back to dancing with her. Rachel was nice but not really the sort of girl I liked so after the dance we chatted for a while and each went out separate ways. That would have been the end of the matter if a stroke of luck had not come my way when the next day Rachel asked if I could drop her outfit back to the hire shop when I took mine. Needless to say I agreed and prior to taking it back I had a glorious couple of hours locked in my room wearing the outfit. This was made even more exciting by the fact that Rachel's perfume smell was through the fabric and her juices in the panties. I met Suzie after university when I was working for the same software house as her and we seemed to hit it off almost immediately. The first time I set eyes on her I knew she was the girl for me and after some initial trepidation about approaching her we met up one day in the kitchen making coffee and it was as if we had always known each other. What made things even better was that Suzie seemed to like to wear outfits which were on a similar vein to what I loved to wear. She wore stockings at the weekends with me and she had some very flirty skirts which were just above the knee in length but full and moved so provocatively when she walked. She did wear jeans on occasions but compared to most other girls she seemed to like to wear clothes that accentuated her female beauty and that suited me to perfection. After a few weeks going out we became closer than I thought possible and I will never forget the first time we made love. We had been to a launch of a new software product which was run in a top London restaurant and that night Suzie had worn a beautiful green silk pleated skirt with a light weight green jumper which accentuated her breasts, black stockings and black leather high heeled boots. As was typical of these launches the drink flowed and we were both a little tipsy and in the cab on the way back to her flat we were kissing passionately. She invited me in and as soon as we were in the flat we started kissing and caressing and almost mutually we headed to the bedroom. Suzie went to start to undress and I stopped her guiding her to the bed fully clothed. She lay down giggling and looked up at me as I stripped off down to my boxer shorts and went to her. "Why do you not want me to undress?" she said between giggles. Between kisses I said to her, "I want to savour every second of the removal of your clothes. I think clothes add so much to a beautiful woman. There is nothing I love more than to make love to a partially clad woman." I did not say to her that I loved to look and feel of lingerie as I made love, imagining I was clad in a similar way. As we kissed and cuddled I caressed her breasts through the soft jumper, feeling her nipples become erect, savouring the moment when I would see her lingerie, dreaming about how pretty it was going to be and praying she did not have on a grubby bra and cotton panties! As my excitement rose I slipped my hand under her jumper and felt the fabric of her bra and almost let out a squeal of delight when I felt satin and lace. With my eyes closed, wanting to savour the moment when I saw her bra, I eased her jumper up and with a little help from her it slid over her head and was dropped onto the floor. I kissed her and then looked down at her breasts and almost gasped in delight when I saw her bra was beautiful pink satin with white lace trim. I dropped down a little in the bed and nuzzled against her breasts while caressing her nipples through the fabric. My thoughts now went to her panties, praying they matched in the way I loved. I slid my hand gently down her tummy; stroking her soft skin and feeling her breathing deepen. I skipped over her skirt and caressed her legs moving my hand between them, feeling the nylon of her stocking clad legs and slowly easing my hand up to her. As I did this I was kissing her and telling her how much I loved her. My hand began to push the soft fabric of her skirt as I moved higher. As my hand finally reached the top of her stockings and moved to the naked flesh she let out a small gasp and her legs opened a little. Finally the moment arrived and I raised myself up on one arm and with my other hand I slowly eased the skirt up around her waist. I let out a small cry of delight when I saw the exquisite matching satin and lace panties with matching suspender belt. "Oh my God, Suzie! You look so sexy! Your lingerie is so pretty." She put her hands down and undid her skirt and kicked it off and went to remove her panties and I stopped her. "Not yet, they are far too pretty to take off now." I started to caress her clitoris very gently through the satin fabric of her panties and as I felt her excitement rise I then slipped my fingers in through the leg of her panties and into her very wet vagina. With some fingers inside and my thumb caressing her clitoris I stroked her gently feeling her excitement build. I kicked off my boxer shorts and then slid between her legs and slipped my penis in through the leg of her panties and eased into her. Her legs locked around me and we kissed furiously as I made love to her, caressing her bra and panties as I did so. Suzie let out a cry as she orgasmed and gyrated against me and when I came I felt as though I was going to pass out with the feelings and emotion. Afterwards we cuddled together kissing and laughing until we finally drifted off to sleep in each other's arms. Our love making over the next couple of months became regular and adventurous. Suzie knew how much I liked her to wear pretty clothes and lingerie and I was in heaven enjoying her in all sorts of sexy lingerie. We made love in the woods, in the car, in fields as well as in bed and knowing how I loved her in her lingerie she learnt to keep it on and even to enhance my pleasure by adding a selection of slips to her wardrobe as well as frillier panties, basques and the like. During these heady days my cross dressing seemed to have almost stopped but each time she had a new item of lingerie my old feelings seemed to return. On some occasions after we had made love if she changed into a pretty nightie I would try to arrange for her panties to be left on the bed and then as we slept I would take those panties and stroke them and on occasions even lay them across myself so I could think I was wearing them. As our love grew we both talked about our future together and I knew that the next step was for me to ask her to marry me. My dilemma was what to do about my cross dressing. I knew that my cross dressing was a part of me that would not go away and I decided that I loved her too much to keep it hidden from her but knew that telling her ran the risk of her not being able to accept what I do and causing a problem in our relationship or even its demise. My mind kept going around in circles but what I tried to convince myself was 'if she really loved me she would understand'. I decided I had to tell her sooner rather than later and decided to ask her to marry me at the same time. I invited her around to my flat and cooked her a lovely meal with an expensive bottle of wine and after the meal we moved to the sofa with two brandies and coffee. I dimmed the lights down so she could not see me blushing and said, "Suzie I love you so much!" "I love you too Rob." "Suzie this is the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life. Please will you remember that what I am going to tell you is not something new, it's something about me that has been there all the time we have known each other. I won't be a different person after I tell you." I felt as though I was going to burst into tears. The thought that in the next few minutes my life with Suzie could be over. Suzie took my hand and looked at me with a puzzled expression. She squeezed my hand to help me continue. "Suzie I could hide what I am going to tell you but I love you too much to deceive you." "Rob what is it? Tell me. I am sure there is nothing that you could tell me that would change how I feel towards you." I began to feel feint, my heart was pounding, my mouth was dry but I knew I had to do it. "Suzie you know how I love you to wear pretty lingerie and love you to keep it on when we make love?" "Yes. I don't mind that if it excites you." "No. No. No that is not what I am trying to say. Suzie I like to cross dress. I like to wear pretty lingerie myself." There it was I had said it and what followed was a moment of total silence. Suzie looked at me, took her glass of brandy and took a large gulp and then looked at me and said in a quiet voice, "I think you had better explain." Taking a large swig of my brandy myself, I started to try to explain. I went right back to how it all started and tried to explain to her why I did what I did which was not really very easy when in my own mind I don't really understand the full reasons. As I continued my story I began to think about how pathetic I was sounding and tears formed in my eyes and slowly ran down my face. " ........ so you see it is just part of me. I am not gay and don't want to be a woman but wearing women's clothes is something that is part of me that I can't really do without. I am so sorry." There was silence for a while and then Suzie said "Give me a few minutes to think. Go and get us some more brandy." I took my time getting the brandy dreading going back into the room. When I went into the room Suzie was standing looking out of the window. I walked into the middle of the room and stopped and stood there waiting. Suzie came back across the room and sat down on the sofa and motioned for me to join her. "Rob, I would be lying if I did not say this is a shock! I have known that some guys wear women's clothes but always thought they were weird people and I would not have put you in that category. What I keep thinking about is the fact that you have done this since childhood and throughout the time we have been together. Of course this explains your love of the clothes I wear - Oh no don't tell me it was only the clothes that you loved and not me!" "My darling Susie it is you I love. Your clothes add to my enjoyment but it is you I want." "But you only want to make love to me when I am wearing pretty lingerie!" "I know what it looks like but you wearing lingerie enhances my love making. You like me to caress your breasts as part of love making and that excites you, well your lingerie is like foreplay for me - it excites me and makes my love making more enjoyable. Suppose I got really excited seeing your breasts would that be a problem where you would complain that I only wanted to make love when I could see your breasts?" Suzie let out a small laugh at my poor analogy. "So what do you want to happen from now? Are you going to dress as a woman all the time?" It was my turn to let out a small laugh. "Suzie if you don't want anything to do with 'that side' of me then I can do as I have done for years and dress in private when you are not around and our relationship can be as it was but at least I am not deceiving you. What would be utter heaven for me is for me once in a while to dress and for you to allow it to be part of our life and our love making and I will ensure that the experience would be so much more pleasurable ... for me AND for you. If you let me wear something 'nice' I would do anything for you. "OK...... Now maybe I need to see how this is going to work. Let me see your clothes." I stood there rooted to the spot. To be honest I had not thought through the next stage after telling her about my cross dressing. I had not thought about showing her my clothes or for that matter dressing in front of her. "Come on. You are the one who dropped this bomb shell now show me what it's all about!" I got up and took her hand and led her into my bedroom and opened up my wardrobe. My wardrobe was an 'L' shaped unit around the corner of the room and it looked like the cupboards did not extend into the corner. I slid my suits along the rail and then slid a false end from the wardrobe along the rail and that then gave access to 'Jennies' clothes. "Oh my! You are a naughty little girl! Everything out so I can see what you have been getting up to!" I started to lay out the clothes on the bed and Suzie arranged things in matching sets. As she did so she kept looking at me with an expression which seemed to say "How do I deal with this?" When I brought out a white soft chiffon petticoat she picked it up and held it out in front of her at arm's length and looked at it. "Do you know Rob, you have more lingerie than I do!" It was odd but that sort of broke the ice and as I brought the last slips across to the bed I stood near her and looked at her. Afterwards she said that she had never seen anyone with such a pleading look in their eyes and that was what melted her heart and she moved to me and gave me a kiss on my cheek and then as I put my hand around her she looked into my eyes and we kissed, slowly at first but then more fervently. As we kissed our passion grew and we held each other tightly at first but then I started to unbutton her blouse and soon that was on the floor. Even in this critical moment of our relationship I could not resist admiring her pretty bra which was purple with black spots and black lace. I undid her skirt and let it drop to the floor and stroked her matching panties and suspender belt. I was just thinking about making love to her, making room for us on the bed by pushing my clothes away when she said, "Oh no you don't!" I stopped dead in my tracks thinking surely she was not going to stop me making love to her at this stage. "If we are going to have to deal with your cross dressing then I want to see you dressed in your pretty lingerie keeping it on while we make love in the same way that you want me to do always. I think you should wear the peach coloured satin set with the cream lace and black stockings and maybe the white petticoat." My heart started pounding with the idea. I had a mixed feeling of euphoria and trepidation. The euphoria was about me about to live a dream and share my cross dressing with the love of my life but the trepidation about the fact that I knew I would look silly and did not want Suzie to laugh at me. "You won't laugh at me?" "I may laugh a little as this is all rather new to me." I gave her a weak smile and started to undress until I was naked. I picked up the suspender belt and fastened it around my waist and then took a pair of black seamed stockings, bunched them up and slid them up my leg with practiced ease, keeping the seams straight and fastened them to the suspenders. All the time I avoided looking at Suzie but could feel hers eyes watching every move I took. With the stockings on I picked up the matching panties and stepped into them and pulled them up and slid them into place. They were full panties so covered me well including my erection which tented them forward. I picked up the bra and fastened it in front and swivelled it around into place and put the straps over my shoulders and then took my silicone false breasts from their box and slid them into place. Finally I picked up the chiffon petticoat and stepped into it and slid it up to my waist. Only then did I look at Suzie and as I stood there in my finery I gave her a weak smile. Rather than laugh at me she gave me a perplexed look and said, "Darling come here." I went to her and she took me into her arms and cuddled me. "Darling watching you get dressed and seeing how used to putting on stockings you are I see that this really is something you have done a lot. It is going to take some getting used to but I love you and maybe this can be a fun part of our life. Now are you going to show me how much you love me?" I did not want this moment to ever end. Standing holding Suzie, feeling my 'breasts' against her breasts, feeling the wonderful feel of my stockings and the soft fabric of my panties caressing my body and the feel of the petticoat softly between us was pure bliss. We kissed passionately and dropped onto the bed on top of my clothes and were soon locked together surrounded by loads of satin and frills. Feeling my stocking clad legs rubbing against her stocking clad legs was one of the most exciting things I had ever done. As I kissed her and caressed her I felt her hands stroking my bottom through the petticoat and then I felt her raise up the petticoat to my waist and she started caressing my bottom through my satin panties, tracing the lace around the legs and following the suspender straps down my legs. I pushed her bra up and started nibbling her nipples and then moved slightly so I could get my hand to her panties and started to caress her clitoris. Suzie bunched my petticoat up and slid her hands to the front and extracted my rigid penis from the leg of my panties and pulling the leg of her panties to the side she pulled me to her. Her pussy was sopping wet and I slid into her and started to gently thrust into her. Slipping my hand between us I caressed her clitoris and bent and kissed her breasts. With the excitement of wearing lingerie with her, I expected to cum quickly but for once I was able to control myself and even when she cried out as she came I continued to make love to her when she came for the second time I finally came and almost burst into tears with the emotion as I finally relaxed onto her, our mouths locked together. After a while we separated enough to be able to look at each other and Suzie leant over and stroked my bra and the false breasts. "Rob I have to say that that was pretty good sex. If that is an example of what is on offer then maybe you're cross dressing is going to be good for both of us. My only worry is that I don't want you to try to turn into a woman. I want to have a male partner foremost and if we have some kinky fun on the odd occasion or in the bedroom brilliant but I don't want a female partner." "Of course not! I will always be Rob first and my cross dressing will just be some fun once in a while." Years later that statement I so glibly made will be reminded to me as part of the reason why I was banished to the spare room. The next day I took Suzie out to dinner and at the end of a lovely evening I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me and to my great joy she accepted. Over the next six months or so before our wedding I had the best time of my life as Suzie and I experimented with my cross dressing. To start with it tended to be Saturday night and to start with it was just at bed time followed by great sex. Then I suggested it would be fun to go shopping with me wearing lingerie below my normal clothes. This was wonderful fun and we shopped both for nice clothes and lingerie for Suzie and also for me. I saw some skirts and blouses I liked so we added these to my wardrobe. I suggested it would be fun for me to be cross dressed wearing my new skirt for the whole evening so we could be two girls together and she seemed to like this and even wore my chiffon petticoat below her skirt. For me it was utter bliss walking around the house wearing a skirt and blouse knowing I had on pretty lingerie below. I found that I felt really comfortable dressed like that and found it became more of a natural thing for me to do rather than a sexual thing. We still ended up with amazing sex which sometimes never got as far as the bedroom but instead often we made love wherever we happened to be. Suzie had to work late on Wednesdays so I was home about 2 hours before her and decided it would be nice to cook her supper and to make doing the cooking more fun I decided to put on my black skirt and white blouse to pretend I was her maid doing the cooking. The first week I wore some white frilly panties and my petticoat with the skirt and blouse and when she arrived home the house was tidy and there was a lovely smell of food and I had a hot bubble bath and a drink waiting for her. She came in and gave me a slightly cross look but then when she realised what I had done she relaxed and we had a great evening. She said she was too exhausted for sex which was a shame but I had a good time sitting with her watching television and that night I slept in a nightie keeping my bra and panties on below. The next week as a surprise for Suzie I went out and bought a French Maids costume so when she arrived home as well as having her bath and drink ready as well as the meal I was there to help her undress and put her clothes away. She said I looked very pretty but again we did not make love. This became the regular thing for a Wednesday and I loved every second of it. During these months I think the nicest times were when I was a really, really good husband and Suzie felt she would reward me with an extra treat. She'd buy me something really sensual, she knew by then my favourite styles and fabrics and often buy herself something equally as sensual. We would have a nice meal and lead me to the bedroom to "open our gifts". When she did this I would do anything for her and she knew it!!! I did not mind being taken advantage of and was more than happy to do more of the chores or whatever she wanted. With my shopping and hers we built up quite a collection of lingerie, nighties, skirts and dresses. As the day of our wedding approached Suzie went shopping for her wedding dress and bridal lingerie and I was a little disappointed not to be included but she insisted the dress had to be a surprise. When she said she was shopping for bridal lingerie I have to admit that my mind went into overdrive! We had booked the church and were going to have the reception in a lovely nearby country hotel and were staying the first night in the bridal suite at the hotel. I had done this so Suzie would not have to change from her wedding dress into a 'going away' outfit and this would mean that I would carry her over the threshold in her dress and then make love to her while she still has the dress on. This was one of my fantasies!! I was marrying in top hat and tails and as a surprise for her I decided I too would have bridal lingerie on. I could not wear a corset or basque or for that matter even a bra but would wear very pretty white panties, suspender belt and white seamed stockings. The day of our wedding was a beautiful day and standing at the front of the church waiting for her with my hand in my pocket feeling the lace of my panties was quite an event. When she arrived her dress was so beautiful. It really was my dream dress with a full skirt and multi layered net petticoat and I could not wait to get her into bed!! The reception went well and my heart was beginning to beat faster at the thought of our wedding night. At about 11.00 we said our goodbyes and with a lot of cheering we left and headed to our room. In the lift we cuddled together and kissed and as she slid her hand around me she felt my suspender belt. She looked at me and said, "Oh Rob. Did your cross dressing have to be part of our wedding day?" To be honest I was so upset with her saying that that my eyes filled with tears and she took sympathy on me and said, "It does not matter. I should have known you would have done that. Let's have a wonderful wedding night!" I picked her up and carried her into our room and gently lay her down on the bed. I had ordered champagne and opened the bottle and poured her a glass and took it to her. "I should get out of this dress," she said. "Darling it is such a dream dress I would so love to make love to you with it still on. I dimmed the lights a little and with my eyes fixed on her eyes I slowly took off my formal outfit. I took off everything apart from the trousers and then slowly unbuckled them and let them drop to the floor and was standing there in my panties and stockings. "Rob you look very pretty in your virginal white panties but how about showing me what a man you can be and give your bride a night to remember!" I know your wedding night is supposed to be great but mine was amazing. To start with we lay side by side and kissed furiously and then I slid down the bed a little and started to delve through layers of satin and netting, finally reaching her silk stocking clad legs. I caressed her legs and pushed all the net and satin ahead as I moved higher. Reaching the tops of her stockings I kissed the bare flesh between her stockings and her panties, tracing the top of her stockings with my tongue. Pushing the petticoat higher I saw her panties and they were to die for. White silk not quite full cut but close with a wide band of fine lace around the legs and small panels of lace running up the sides and a small 'V' shaped panel at the waist. They were so soft and delicate that I could see her labia moulded against the fabric and as soon as I touched her I realised why they showed up so clearly as she had shaved herself totally clear of pubic hair. This was something I had been begging her to do for ages. I let out a yelp of glee and slid the panties to the side and buried my face in the soft wetness of her pussy. I devoted myself to giving her the ultimate pleasure and did not stop until her body was racked with her orgasm. I slid back up the bed and we kissed passionately and finally I helped her out of her dress and petticoat. We cuddled together and made love slowly and lovingly with our stocking clad legs entwined and as the passion grew we came together like one. As we cuddled together afterwards I was gazing at the wedding dress and it was as if Suzie could read my mind. "Rob, I know what you want to do. It is a special wonderful day so how about ending it in the way you want." "What do you mean?" "You want to try my dress on. The way you have been looking at it all day has said you wanted to wear it." I could not believe how lucky I was to have married Suzie. I leapt at the chance and with her help stepped into the huge petticoat and tied it around my waist. I was bigger than Suzie but not by much so when she slid the dress over my head she had to struggle a little with the zip but soon had me zipped up and to complete the effect she covered my head with her veil and I stood there admiring myself in the mirror. "Mmmm Rob, you look pretty good in that dress. Now when I had the dress on you did pretty wonderful things to me and so maybe I should return the compliment." Suzie was still dressed in her sexy lingerie and she came over to me as I stood before the mirror, lifted up the skirt and petticoat and dropped to her knees and delving into my panties she took me out and took my erect length into her mouth. The sight of her in her lingerie with her head below my skirt and petticoat which was bunched up over her shoulders was mind blowing in its own right but with her giving me oral sex - well all I can say was I did not last long before I had the most mind blowing orgasm of my life!!! The next day we went off on our honeymoon and had two weeks of blissful sun, sea, sand and sex. I was on such a perpetual sexual high that to enhance my pleasure I wore panties below my shorts most of the time. We made love often and had a lot of fun making love outside which we both loved to do and for me it was very exciting taking off my shorts and then making love to Suzie in my panties out in the open. After our honeymoon we returned home and the more mundane life followed with us both working hard, saving for the deposit on a house. After wearing panties as I had on honeymoon I tended to wear panties most days. I went back to my routine on Wednesdays, wearing my maids dress and acting as a maid to Suzie when she came home. I added some high- heeled shoes and a wig to the outfit to make it more believable. One Saturday I had spent the whole day working really hard helping Suzie's mother move house. Suzie had had to work so I was there on my own and by the end of the day I was exhausted. When I got home Suzie had arrived home before me and was wearing her bath robe having had a bath and for once she had a bath waiting for me. She suggested we bath and put on our pyjamas and have supper in front of the fire. "Oh by the way Rob. As a thank you for all the work you have done for mum I bought you some new PJs." After my bath I went into the bedroom and on my side of the bed was laid out a pale pink baby doll nightie and a matching semi-transparent dressing gown. The baby doll had an empire line with a full short skirt with lace around the hem, neck and short puffy sleeves. The matching panties were full cut with matching lace around the legs and waist. It was incredible! I quickly put it on and then the dressing gown on top and looked into the mirror and what a sexy sight. Through the dressing gown you could see the baby doll. Its skirt was short enough not to cover the panties so they were on show and even more so when I bent over a little. When I went downstairs Suzie said, "This is a special treat for you as a thank you for all your work. I knew you would like it." I think that night was both blissful and the start of a downward slide in our relationship. We had a lovely evening together having a nice meal and then watching an old movie in front of the fire, cuddling together in each other's arms. Suzie had on a white satin nightie and after the film we kissed and made love slowly and lovingly before heading off to bed. Looking back on our relationship I now realise that my cross dressing was beginning to take over our relationship. I loved that nightie and after that night I started to wear it every night and bought more nighties so I had some variety. I was still doing my French Maid routine on Wednesdays and now as well as adding a wig and heels I started wearing makeup to complete the appearance Saturdays I took it as my right to be cross dressed and if we had friends around for dinner I had on lingerie below whatever I wore. I wore panties and stockings below my normal clothes on Sundays and often changed into a skirt for the evening. During the week I often wore panties below my suit to work and if I had had a particularly stressful day at work I often changed into a skirt for the evening to relax. I felt our sex life was still great but insisted that Suzie wore sexy lingerie when we made love. I think the final insult to Suzie was when I decided to go out en-femme. For me and my blinkered selfish view at that time it was just the next stage of my cross dressing. The first time I went out was on a Wednesday when I had finished a meeting early and had got home mid afternoon. I quickly changed into my French Maids outfit and started doing my jobs but when I went to prepare supper I found I did not have the chicken I needed for my recipe. I knew I could not go out as a French Maid but as I had done my hair and makeup, the idea of changing back into my male clothes, removing my makeup only to redo it all was not appealing. I then had the idea of going out en-femme. I changed out of my French maids outfit and put on a knee length full skirt and a blouse and a unisex zip up jacket and having checked myself in the mirror I grabbed some cash and the car keys and headed off to the supermarket. I can't tell you how great it felt when I arrived at the supermarket. A mixture of pure adrenalin and fear. I walked into the shop, grabbed a basket and did my shopping and then paid for the food and was soon heading back to the car. The high I was on when I got back to the car was amazing and I knew that this would not be the last time I was going out en-femme. Back home I changed back into my maids dress and when Suzie came home I brought her champagne while she had her bath and told her about it. I was so excited as I told her I did not register her look nor the sarcasm in her voice when she said, "You really are becoming the perfect wife!" That night when I changed into my nightie and snuggled in to bed beside her she said she was tired and gave me a dismissive kiss on my cheek and rolled over to go to sleep. I was so wrapped up in my own life I did not see the change in her and just lay there thinking of how great it had been going out as a woman. On Saturday Suzie had to work the morning and was due to finish work at 1.00 and as I lay in bed watching her get dressed I suggested we met up in town and we would go shopping. She smiled at me and said that would be good, she blew me a kiss from the door and was gone. What I did next was probably the most stupid thing I had ever done but in my selfish period I did not see it until much later. I decided to go shopping with her en-femme. That morning I spent a long while lazing in a deep bubble bath and then got dressed in my sexiest bra, panties, suspender belt and stockings and put on my semi transparent negligee and enjoyed myself around the house until near the time I was meeting Suzie. I waited as long as I could before I shaved really closely so my beard would not show through my makeup. Luckily I was fair haired so it was not too much of a problem. I did my makeup taking great care to get it as good as I could and then put on my wig and made sure it was styled nicely. A liberal spray of Suzie's perfume and then put on a green pleated silk skirt with a cream and green light sweater and a green jacket. I tied a silk scarf loosely around my neck, slipped on my 3" heeled tan shoes and with a matching handbag I looked in the mirror and saw a very chique looking woman. Well OK I was no beauty but not bad for a guy. I set off in my car, parking at the shopping centre and went down to the main mall where we had agreed to meet. I was a few minutes late and as I went from the lift I saw Suzie with her back to me standing by the fountain. I went over to her and tapped her on her shoulder and said, "Surprise!" Looking back I can't believe how stupid I had been. I was standing there dressed in my finery with a look on my face that said 'look at me - look how great I look as a woman' and Suzie looked at me and the smile that had been on her face faded and her eyes filled with tears and she said, "Oh Rob no...." With that she turned and almost ran towards the car park leaving me standing there. Had I had any sense I would have immediately followed but I was still on a high over being dressed as I was in the shopping centre. I had the ignorance to feel that I was in the right and her in the wrong. What had I done wrong? I had made an effort to look my best and had planned to treat her to all sorts of nice things this afternoon. I spent the next few hours shopping buying some nice lingerie and a few skirts. As the afternoon went on I became more and more cross with her and did not buy her any of the items I had planned to. She was so unfair to have made such a fuss. Typical woman. Totally unreasonable. By the time I had finished shopping I had gone from the good mood I had started out in to a really black mood and as I drove home I had decided to tell her how she had hurt me and how unreasonable she had been. When I got home I went into the house spoiling for a row but found Suzie was nowhere to be seen. I went into the kitchen and propped in the middle of the table was a note. Rob You have allowed your cross dressing to take over our life. It started as a fun part of our life but now it seems that I am married to Jenny and not Rob. You once said to me "I will always be Rob first and my cross dressing will just be some fun once in a while." Well that is not the case any longer. I need a break from this and have gone to stay with some friends. I will be back tomorrow but I think you should move into the spare room for the next month and then we will see what will happen after that. I still love YOU but can't go on the way things are. Love Suzie. I sat down at the table. I felt numb. I sat and thought long and hard about what she had said in her note and how I was behaving. Suddenly I wanted to get out of the clothes I was wearing and ran upstairs and started to strip off my skirt and lingerie, my wig and makeup. As soon as I was undressed I went into the shower and let the water run over me for a long time allowing my tears to merge with the shower water as I realised how stupid I had been. Sometime later I got out and dressed in jeans and a tee shirt and went down into the living room and sat there miserably thinking about how I had behaved. I sat there as the light faded around me until finally going up to the spare room and eventually falling into fitful sleep. The next morning I lay in bed thinking about what I should do. My first thought was to take all my female clothes to a thrift store but I think deep down inside I knew that my cross dressing was a part of me that would not go away. I had had the guilt trips in the past and purged all my clothes but then had to re-buy them as the need took hold once again. Maybe it would be best that that side of my life would have to go back into secrecy. The spare room had a number of wardrobes so I moved all my female clothes and packed them away in a small wardrobe and then moved most of my male clothes into the spare room. As I did the move I kept thinking how stupid and selfish I had been and vowed to change. I kept thinking about comments Suzie had made and how I had ignored what she had really been saying. I suddenly thought of my wedding day and her comment "Oh Rob. Did your cross dressing have to be part of our wedding day?" At the time I had not really paid any attention to what she had said but now those words burned into my thoughts and again tears slid down my cheeks. I then set to work cleaning the house from top to bottom but this time not in my maids outfit. I checked our bedroom and made sure there was not a trace of Jenny and then set off to the supermarket and bought food and flowers. I arranged the flowers in a couple of vases and put them in our bedroom .... or should that now be Suzie's bedroom and put a note there apologising for the way I had been. I prepared a meal and finally with everything ready I sat down to wait for Suzie's return. Suzie came home around 6.30 and as she opened the door I stood slightly away from her and tried to think how to react. She looked at me coolly and I stammered out "Suzie, I am so sorry. I have been a selfish fool. I love you so much. Please let me show you I can change." "I am tired and am going to take a bath." I went over to her in the hope of giving her a cuddle but she stiffened as I approached and moved past me going up the stairs. I watched her go feeling as though my whole life was in ruins. That night I prepared supper and lit candles and we talked a little about trivia but the coolness remained and at bed time she stood and turned to me and said, "Over the next month I want us to be just friends. I don't want to have physical contact. I want time to allow my thoughts and feelings to sort themselves out and to think about whether there is a future for us ...... Good night Rob." With that she left the room, went up to her room and closed the door. I felt awful and so lonely. I poured a whisky and sat there again with tears cascading down my cheeks thinking about what my stupidity had lost. Over the next month I tried to be the perfect husband, being caring, considerate, and thoughtful. I tried not to be over the top in my behaviour but just as a good husband should be and I did not mention cross dressing once. In return Suzie slowly became more like her old self but still purposely avoided any direct contact and I began to wonder if this was how the future would be. About 2 weeks into the month I had a very stressful day at work and when I got home and sat chatting to Suzie I longed to be able to change into a nice skirt and relax but I knew better than to even mention my thoughts. I hated myself for the feelings I was having and as bed time approached I had a cool shower and put on my pyjamas and went to bed and lay there trying to banish my thoughts of cross dressing, only to fall asleep eventually and dream of being encased in satin and silk. Over the next couple of days I tried hard to block my feelings but at bedtime I finally realised that 'that side of me' would not go away and my earlier thoughts of dressing in secrecy seemed the only solution so that night after locking my door I slipped into my favourite pair of frilly panties and a baby doll nightie and got into bed and slept in a state of happiness tinged with guilt. The next morning I changed into my pyjamas and packed my nightie back into the wardrobe and went down to breakfast. Suzie came in and we chatted about what the day had in store. I went and changed into my work clothes and as I left, Suzie was by the door and as I passed she gave me a quick kiss. This was the first physical contact since the row and I could not stop my eyes glisten with tears. I said, "I love you so much." I then gave her a quick kiss back and left for work with a happy heart. Over the next few days, as the end of the month of separation approached, Suzie allowed a little more contact sitting together watching television, holding hands and quick kisses but if I made any move to go further she stopped me by either stiffening or moving. One evening she said, "Look Rob, I said I wanted a month's break and that is what I am going to have. The month is over this Saturday and after that we will see but if we are going to become a full couple again it will be on my terms." She would not elaborate and went back to watching the television. As the final Saturday approached I became more and more excited at the prospect of becoming a loving couple again. I had decided that I would not mention my cross dressing and keep that side of my life secret. Given the choice between Suzie and cross dressing I knew totally that Suzie won hands down. Saturday morning I was up early and went to the shops and bought her 40 red roses and the ingredients for a nice meal with expensive champagne along with a couple of newspapers. At half past ten I prepared breakfast for Suzie and took it up to her room and knocked on the door. Over the month as she went to bed I heard her door lock but in reply to my knock I heard her call out "Come in." I tried her door and it opened. Suzie was sitting up in bed and gave me an almost shy smile as I brought over the tray. I put the tray down on her lap and stood awkwardly beside her. "Come on Rob. If this is a new start then sit beside me and read the paper while I have my breakfast. I did as she said but could barely concentrate as I lay beside her thinking what I had nearly lost due to my selfish behaviour. The rest of the day went by quickly doing simple things together. We went for a walk and strolled along holding hands. Stopped for a coffee and sat looking into each other's eyes like young lovers. At around 4.00 Suzie suggested I moved my clothes back into our room. My cross dressing still had not been mentioned so I knew she meant my 'normal' clothes so we went to the spare room and ignoring the small wardrobe where my female clothes were we carried armfuls of my clothes and piled them on the bed. I started to sort my clothes and hang them up and Suzie went off and left me to it. About an hour later I was done and I started to run a bath for Suzie and while it filled I quickly showered and changed into Chinos and a sports shirt. I got Suzie a gin and tonic and put it by the bath and said I was off to get supper ready. Leaving her I busied myself preparing the meal, setting the table and generally tidying up. I heard Suzie coming down the stairs and turned to greet her as she came into the room .... and wow!!! She was wearing my favourite outfit for her. She had on a black satin blouse which was tailored and accentuated her breasts. A short black pleated skirt which barely covered the seamed black stockings that encased her gorgeous legs. She had on black stiletto shoes with about a 4" heel. Her hair and makeup were beautifully done - she looked better than fabulous. She looked at me a little shyly at first but then burst into laughter saying, "Rob if you could see your face." I was standing with my mouth open and a look of such lust but behind the look was such raw emotion as I gazed at the love of my life. Eventually I went over to her and she opened her arms to me and we held each other for ages. When we finally separated she said, "Pour yourself a drink and top up mine and then we need to have a talk." I was expecting this but I still found myself feeling more nervous than I think I had ever felt. My heart was pounding and I felt as though I was going to feint. I got the drinks and took a big swig of my drink to try to calm myself. Suzie had sat down and my state of mind was further thrown into turmoil when I saw that her skirt had ridden up a little exposing her stocking tops. I sat down beside her but a little way away and faced her and sat waiting for her to speak. "Rob the months break has made me realise that I do still love you and we need to overcome our current problems." I made to speak but she held up her hand and went on, "You said 'I will always be Rob first and my cross dressing will just be some fun once in a while' and that clearly has not been the case." "I had wondered while we were in separate rooms whether you would still cross dress. I thought that as the cross dressing was what had nearly ruined our marriage you might have binned all your clothes or packed them away in the roof space but instead you had packed them in the small wardrobe. I then wondered if you would just ignore them and saw that during the first couple of weeks you did just that. Then I saw that you became stressed at work and the next day when I checked your room I found you had worn your frilly panties and nightie to bed." Seeing my puzzled expression she said, "I marked the cupboard door so I could tell if it had been opened and also noted where your clothes were so I could see if anything had moved." I felt sick expecting her to be cross and ban me from dressing. She went on, "I thought back to how you initially told me that you had cross dressed almost all your life and having looked up about cross dressers on the Internet I know that it is something most cross dressers can't just turn off so I have accepted that cross dressing is part of you and if I want our marriage to be good I have to let it be part of our relationship. Your dressing has got out of hand and so now if our marriage is to survive we need some ground rules." "In the future you can cross dress on a Saturday or Sunday evening once or twice a month if we are at home and when I say. We will have a nice meal and each take time to look our best and have fun as two girls together. If you have been particularly loving then maybe you can dress on other special occasions but it will always be at times I dictate. I don't want you to dress without my agreement or again take it as your right to dress. Mostly your dressing will be at home in private but there may be times when a trip out will be fun but again I will say when. I don't want a repeat of me expecting to meet my husband and Jenny turns up. I want your dressing to be like it was early on where it was a fun part of our lives that we both enjoyed." I was so taken aback that she was prepared to still share my dressing that I could say nothing. I felt tears form in my eyes and finally I managed to say, "I love you so much....." We then fell into each other's arms and kissed and cuddled together for ages. When we finally separated she suggested putting food on to cook and then as we waited she told me to follow her. She went up the stairs with me following behind enjoying the view up her skirt and headed into the spare room. She turned to me and smiled and opened the wardrobes. Where my clothes had been crammed into the small wardrobe they were now spread out and neatly arranged and displayed in all the wardrobes. "For the days that Jenny comes to play we can't have her clothes in a mess." Again tears came to my eyes as I realised what she had been doing while I tidied away my 'normal' clothes. She came over to me and said, "Maybe Jenny can come next Saturday but for today I want Rob!" As she said that she dropped her hand to my penis and started to caress it. After a quick meal we made love. Suzie kept her clothes on in the way that I loved and I devoted myself to her pleasure while revelling in the look and feel of the clothes she wore. She came several times before I finally entered her and as our bodies became one our love making seemed to unite us in a way that seemed to bring us closer than ever, culminating in such a release of passion before collapsing back in each other's arms. "Darling Suzie I will never make the same mistake, I really will always be Rob first and my cross dressing really will just be some fun once in a while." Epilogue: The following Saturday really was the blueprint for our life now, 5 years later. I had not dressed for a few weeks and had made no demands. Suzie knew I was longing for some dressing fun and I waited patiently for the right time. That day I brought Suzie breakfast in bed and after reading the papers I showered and came back into our bedroom and found Suzie dressing and my clothes laid on the bed ready for me. Jeans, sports shirt and a pair of red satin panties with black lace trim. I looked at the panties, then Suzie and then went to her a kissed her passionately. "I love you so much," I said knowing that today was going to be a fun day!!!!!