This fictional story is in four, chronological parts. It is set to begin
in the near future and is composed of thoughts, memories and the re-
telling of occurrences that shaped the life of the supposed author, as
told from some point in the future. Past and present tenses will be
mixed and follow no set pattern as I will attempt to write in a manner as
close to possible to how we each think, one thought leading
indiscriminately to another, be they of the past or in the present. Re-
postings on free sites are permitted as long as the listed author is
credited.
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Part one
Let me begin by speaking of where I was working when this all began; in a
fairly large, independently owned and operated department store somewhere
in Middle America. I'd started as sales clerk and worked in a number of
different departments as a floater, one who filled in for other clerks
when they were sick or on vacation. After a couple of years of this, I
was asked to take the position of floating department supervisor. While
it meant I would make a few more dollars each week, it wasn't really all
that different from what I'd been doing. The only difference was that
now I filled in for the missing floor supervisors as well as absent
clerks.
I really enjoyed the work and the people I worked with, most of whom were
about my age or slightly younger (I was in my early thirties when I began
working at the store). With the passage of a couple more years, just
into my thirty-fifth year on this earth, I was promoted again to become a
floating Assistant Buyer. This moved into lower middle management and
brought with it a significant pay increase and the option to buy into the
store's medical insurance plan for executives which was a much more
comprehensive plan that the one for non-execs. This was to become very
important as you will see fairly soon. After one year as an assistant
and I was again moved up, now to hold the title of Roving Buyer. Again,
as I'm sure you realize, this meant I was to fill in for missing, sick or
vacationing department buyers; the heads of the various store
departments.
I'd been doing this for nearly a year when something happened that was to
have quite an impact on my life; I discovered some small lumps in my
testicles. Fearing the worst, I immediately made an appointment with my
doctor and after seeing him and then a specialist he referred me to and
after way too many tests to suit me, my worst fear was confirmed; I had
testicular cancer. The specialist, an Oncologist, told me that while he
could do the surgery he preferred I see yet another specialist who did
nothing but reproductive surgeries for men and women. He said he'd send
all my records to them and make an appointment for me if I wished. I
didn't wish but knew I had few choices in this matter and so agreed. Two
days later I received a call from their office and made an appointment to
see one of their doctors, this being a group practice.
In the two days prior to my appointment, I gave a lot of thought to how
this situation might affect another problem I'd had for years and shared
with no one as it really wasn't a medical problem. You see, after a lot
of Internet research I'd found I have what is termed an over active or
hyper libido. Anytime I'm near to or even see a moderately attractive
woman, I almost immediately get a raging, aching erection. It's really
pretty embarrassing, too since I'm sure women either see or sense it. I
say this because I've always had a hard time finding girls who will go
out with me more than twice. I've learned to control my urges but can do
nothing about controlling these damnable hardons I get at the most
inopportune times.
A couple of days later I was sitting in this medical group's waiting
room, waiting to be called in for my first appointment. I doubt you can
imagine my surprise and shall I say dismay when I found that the doctor
who was to become my surgeon was a good-looking female. I followed her
to her office nonetheless, sure beyond doubt that she, too, was fully
aware of the bugle in my pants. A fully erect 7 inches penis is hard to
hide after all, even when one wears tight underwear as I had on at the
time. After we were in her office and seated across from each other in a
pair of matching easy chairs, she explained that after seeing all my test
results and the films used to diagnose me with testicular cancer, she was
forced to concur with the doctors I'd seen previously. She then began a
discussion of the options, few though I thought they were, and to the
best of my memory it went something like this:
"I must tell you that the only option you have at this point is an
orchidectomy," she began.
"A what?"
"An orchidectomy or as it's more commonly called; castration, much as I
hate the term."
"No chance of radiation or chemo working?"
"No, not whatsoever. So what we must discuss now are the surgical and
post-surgical options you have to choose from."
"Such as?"
"First of all, do you wish for prosthetic testicles to be implanted
during the surgery?"
"Hmm, what if I choose not to?"
"Well, we could simply leave your empty scrotal sacs or we might remove
them as well. We must also discuss your post-op HRT."
"Meaning?"
"HRT stands for Hormone Replacement Therapy. Since you'll no longer have
testicles where most male's hormones are produced, we'll have to do
something to replace them, thus the term HRT."
"So I can't just go without?"
"It's not advisable. Lack of such hormones or the corresponding female
hormones will make Osteoporosis or a lack of bone formation much more
likely along with a number of other problems so we strongly suggest the
HRT regimen."
"Well, Doctor, this leads me to tell you about another problem I have and
then to ask if you can maybe offer up a solution to it."
"Okay."
I then explained this libido thing I've had to deal with most of my life
and the problems it caused me.
"Well, the orchidectomy will most definitely cure that but it will
definitely cause us to look at an altered HRT regimen. I'd like to do
some blood tests first, before we make any decisions, to find out what
your hormone levels are like now then we'll talk further, okay?"
"Sounds good to me."
I left her office and the clinic after making another appointment to see
her again in a week, after she'd received the results of the tests she
was to have done on the blood samples she'd taken from me.
A week later found me in her office again, discussing the results of the
test she'd had run.
"Well, Mr. Allen, I think I've found the source of your problem."
"Oh? What?"
"A dysfunction in your adrenal glands. It appears they're not producing
any of the female hormones as they should and a normal amount of the male
hormone testosterone and several others that influence one's sex drive."
"Okay, so what can be done about it?"
"Well, the first thing we'll have to do is balance the two types of
hormones, male and female. And in doing this, bring them up to the level
necessary to prevent Osteoporosis, or bone mass loss. This is going to
be the tricky part. Any form of HRT can have a deleterious effect of the
output of the Adrenal Glands, reducing it to the hormone output of the
opposite sex. So what I think we'll have to do in your case is monitor
your hormone levels on a constant basis as we administer a balance of the
two kinds, both male and female."
"And what affect will this have on me?"
"That's the quandary we face. Any attempt on our part to return your
libido to a normal level is also going to require a proportionate dosage
of female hormones."
"Which means?" What effect would this have on me?"
"With the loss of male hormonal output from your testicles and the nearly
total lack of female hormonal output from your Adrenal glands, in order
to prevent the onset of Osteoporosis we'll have to put you on a fairly
high dosage of both. This, in and of itself, might cause problems we
can't foresee."
"So what if we go with just enough to prevent the bone loss?"
"Well, we can do that, too, but if we do so you may experience some
development of secondary female characteristics."
"Such as?"
"A slight shift in the placement of fatty tissue, more to your hips for
example. I would also expect you would experience a softening of your
skin as a thin layer of fat may develop beneath it, which is why a
woman's skin is softer than a man's. Your hair will thicken a bit and
I'd expect you'll never have to worry about getting a receding hairline.
I would think, though, that the one characteristic that might be most
disconcerting for you is the possibility of some minor breast
development. But this shouldn't be of major concern as it's highly
unlikely that you would develop much more than some overweight men have,
say an AA cup at the most to put the potential into a size reference you
might be familiar with.
"Well, it appears that based on your descriptions of my options that this
is the one you recommend?"
"Yes, Mr. Allen, it is. I'm sure, that with good oversight and a
constant watch on your hormone levels, we can achieve a satisfactory
balance at the minimum level necessary.
"Then let's do that. So when will you schedule me for surgery?"
"After we reach a couple more decisions."
"Such as?"
"You have several options you'll need to choose from. Since we're going
to have to do a complete Orchidectomy of both your testicles, you need to
decide if you want prosthetic implants."
"What other choices do I have?"
"Well, we can do several things while we have you in surgery; we can
simply leave your empty scrotal sacs as they are or we could remove them
completely. I've done all three surgeries on a number of my patients so
I can tell you how each have worked for the various men. The prosthetic
implants work well and are not at all as susceptible to injury as those
you were born with. Second option is to leave the sacs empty but this
proves to be both unsightly and a turn off over time. The third choice
would be to have to sacs removed as well and the area beneath your penis
left empty."
"How has that worked out for your patients who've had that done?"
"Strange as it may seem to you, it's proven to be the most satisfactory
in the long term. The men who've chosen this option have told me they
almost wish they'd done it sooner."
"Have they said why?"
"Yes, in almost every case, the reason they've been so satisfied with
this option is that they no longer have to deal with the mass of overly
sensitive tissue that were their testicles and the constant shifting of
them they had to do inside their underwear."
I laughed aloud and told her, "I can relate to that."
"Would you like to think this over before we decide?"
"No, I don't think so. I think I'll go with that last option, take
everything and make it flat down there.
"All right, that's what we'll do then. Let me ask my Secretary to call
the hospital and see when we can schedule you in."
She returned a few minutes later and gave me a thick packet on
information about my operation and its aftermath and the care I'll need
to take prior to and after the surgery. She told me I'm scheduled for
surgery in three days and that I should call off from work for at least a
month, to allow myself time to heal fully.
I called off for the rest of the day and headed for a nearby restaurant
to grab something to eat while I look through the info she gave me.
Among the usual and expected pre-op instructions like no solid for from
eight o'clock the night prior and so on, there were some things I found
in the packet that I hadn't expected. The two most striking bits of
info/instructions were that I was to bring with me to the hospital a two
week supply of clean white cotton women's panties and to have more ready
to wear when I got home along with enough sanitary pads to allow me to
change them three times a day for at least two weeks. Then I read down
to the reason for this; they'll leave a surgical drain in the region
under my penis to allow the site to drain and since the best way to deal
with this is the way women do so monthly and thus I'm to do the same.
Well crap! Now, on top of everything else I have to wear women's panties
and Kotex for two weeks, what a hoot this is going to be!
I don't remember much of the immediate aftermath of the operation because
they kept me pretty heavily sedated to prevent excessive pain. It wasn't
until three days after my surgery that I was allowed to recover and
regain complete consciousness. The pain wasn't too bad but I'm sure the
stuff they kept shooting into my IV line had to help. What was
uncomfortable was the position they had me in; my legs and feet were in
stirrups, held up and apart so I wouldn't tear out my stitches, they told
me.
I spent a week in the hospital and two more at home recovering until the
day of my next appointment with the doctor rolled around. After she took
the drain out, I was glad when she told me I could stop wearing those
damned pads and to switch to just panty liners until I see her again. I
stopped on the way home and picked some up and then made a run through a
drive-thru to have something for dinner since I really didn't feel up to
cooking anything.
All in all, even though I went back to work five weeks after the
operation, it took almost two whole months before I was fully healed and
wasn't sore down there any longer. Then another month or so until
everything was back to as normal as it could be for a guy with no balls.
I did make a few changes to my life as a result of the surgery though;
namely that I threw out all my old Jockey Shorts and began to wear just
my old boxers or the panties I'd had to get.
We're still messing around with my HRT dosages, trying to strike a
balance that will on one hand prevent Osteoporosis and yet, on the other,
minimize my Testosterone and other male hormone levels and balance them
with all the female hormones with the goal being to reduce my libido to
nearly normal for a guy my age and allow me to still get an erection when
the situation presents itself. Told this might take a year or more to
find the right balance, I'm stuck with the possibility of developing some
female characteristics in the meantime as a result of all this tinkering.
So the regimen goes something like this; one week it's to the lab for a
blood draw, then the next week I see the doctor who makes adjustments to
my dosages and then we do it all over again.
In the meantime I'm left with several impressions; namely those of my
reactions to the absence of my balls. No longer capable, of course, of
fathering children, I look for the brighter side of my situation and find
it primarily in the emptiness in my crotch. After all my years dealing
with what I now know, thanks to my surgeon, were slightly over-sized
testicles that I constantly had to shift around so I could sit with my
legs crossed, it's a really cool feeling to be without them. Being
something of a nudist when I'm home alone, I find the sensation of my
bobbing dick to be quite intriguing and different now that my balls are
gone. My only problems with this entire sordid episode are the mood
swings from week to week that seem to go right along with the priapism,
albeit in the weeks opposite the severe mood swings. Luckily for me,
these episodes with priapism, or extended periods of full erection, last
but two to three hours. My surgeon told me that if they ever lasted more
than four hours, to call her immediately and to head straight for the
hospital.
Thankfully, after a period of about six weeks of these back and forth
swings, the HRT dosages I was taking seemed to come into balance and both
problems pretty much disappeared. I was back to work by this time, and
had been for about a month after my operation so once my body had settled
into a more normal condition as the HRT brought me back to something
close to normalcy, I pretty much went through each day without giving
more than an occasional passing thought to what I'd been through. I felt
blessed by this time, no longer did I have to deal with the hyper-libido
and all the suffering and embarrassment it had given me but I also found
that I was now able to deal with the women I worked with in a much more
normal and easy manner. Don't misunderstand me here, I still appreciated
looking at and being around all the good-looking ladies but I no longer
suffered from the raging erections I used to get. I can still "get it
up" but under more normal conditions and in reaction to only a few
stimuli and not just every darn lady I saw like it had been.
Part two
It's been a little over a year since my operation and full recovery, my
life has settled back into my pre-op routine of simply going to work each
day and only seeing my doctors on a once each six-month basis. I was
just about to leave work on Friday when I got a call from the HR office.
Seems one of the Buyers was going to off work for an extended period of
time, starting Monday, and I was asked to fill in for her until she
returns. I asked which department and was a bit surprised when they told
me she was the Ladies Division Buyer, over all aspects of ladies
clothing. I knew from being with this company for years that no man had
ever been a buyer for this particular department so I was curious why me
and why now. When my question to this affect was answered, I was taken
aback for a minute and unsure what, if anything I should or could say.
Ruth, the lady in HR who gave me these types of assignments, answered
something like this; "Ken, the answer is two-fold. Her department is in
something of a mess because her tastes in clothing have ruled their
purchases and they're out of touch with today's women. Her assistant in
too new as an assistant buyer to deal with all the complexities the
position entails but she's just a bit younger than you and has a great
fashion sense so we expect you to defer to her judgment in that arena.
Secondly, and I hate to bring this up, but the founders of this store
were strict chauvinists and kept ladies out of the men's departments and
vice-versa. But with what you've been through recently, I've been able
to convince them that you can do the job we need done and they've
reluctantly agreed to let you give it a go." Well, I accepted the
challenge and her assignment and said I'd start work in that department
beginning this coming Monday.
I spent most of the weekend at home wearing as little as possible, as
usual. As I mentioned earlier I'm something of a nudist at heart and
besides, I've come to really enjoy the feeling of my semi-empty crotch
and the sensations I get from my dick as it bobs around unaccompanied
while I work through the housekeeping one must do to keep the place
livable. I can't say I've gotten used to being ball-less just yet and
the image I see in a mirror is still more than slightly disconcerting but
thankfully, after all the effort my doctor put into balancing my HRT, I
can and still do get it up. One thing I'm slightly curious about
however, now over a year since my operation, is the slight cease between
my legs down where my balls used to hang. If I hold my dick up against
my stomach and look at the space beneath it, I can almost imagine the
crease looks a lot like the lips of a girl's pussy. Suddenly it dawns on
me to try something and I go into my bedroom to get a pair of panties out
of my drawer. Stepping into them and pulling them into place, I reach
down into them and push my dick down and back between my legs,
effectively tucking it into the crease and pulling back tightly before
tugging the panties up a bit tighter. Looking at my reflection in the
mirror again, I see that my dick has, for all intents and purposes,
disappeared. The space between my legs now looks perfectly flat instead
of, as it did once before some months ago when I tried doing this same
thing with my dick and saw a rounded protrusion down there. But now my
dick has nestled itself between those fleshy protrusions on either side
of the cleft and the result is the look of a truly empty and flat crotch,
exactly like a girl's would look. But as strange as it looks, it feels
even stranger, almost nice. I decide to keep the panties on for a while
and continue with my usual routine for Saturday's, doing not much of
anything.
By mid morning on Sunday and still wearing a pair of panties with my dick
tucked back between my legs, I get a sudden brainstorm and decide to try
something else. I wonder what it would feel like if I can somehow keep
myself tucked back like this and yet do so without needing panties to
keep my dick in place? One thing's for sure, anything I try is going to
need me to be free of hair down there so I think I better shave myself
before I try anything. Jumping into the shower, which I need to take
anyway, I finish washing and then pick up the razor after I've lathered
my pubic area up with soap. Using as much care as I can possibly muster,
I shave off all the hair I can locate until my groin is fully smooth and
hairless. Damn, it really looks weird like this and my dick looks
longer, too. Getting out and drying myself off, I take the time to shave
my face, too, just for good measure. Now... how do I go about doing this?
I think the easiest thing to try will be to tape myself up so I get a
roll of surgical tape out of the medicine cabinet and sit down on the
edge to the commode seat. Guessing at how long a piece of tape I'll
need, I pull two strips off of the approximate length and stick them on
the edge of the countertop next to me. Next I press my dick down and
back, nestling it into the grove and seeing how much of the excess skin
on either side is available so I can apply the tape to it instead of my
dick. Picking up one strip of tape I press it into place and then add
the second strip toward the rear to finish the attempt. Okay, this feels
all right as I stand up and move to put the tape away; no pulling or
other discomfort of any kind, so let's see how it goes for a while.
Sunday's always been my day to get groceries so I head for the kitchen to
work up a list before I get dressed and go to the store. Even later on,
after I get back and have put everything away, this little tape job I did
still feels comfortable so I just leave it in place. It's a little
strange to not feel my dick bobbing about as I walk around but the sense
of neat compactness I have instead is kind of comforting in its own
right, albeit in a strange sort of way. I don't think this will be
workable during the week though, as I think about it when I have to sit
down on the john to take a leak, too impractical to have to do this while
I'm at work. Maybe I'll just save this little taping exercise for my
weekends.
Monday brings with it the start of a new week and a new work assignment,
one I'm not all too sure that I'll fit into with the ease of my former
positions. But with chin up and my bravado screwed on, I head for the
department's office with a brave front and my usual determination to make
good. I already know the name of the Assistant Buyer and the office
secretary so when I arrive the first thing I do is ask Jean, the
secretary, to please ask Ms. Waters to come to my office after she's
arrived and settled this morning. Then I head on into the Head Buyers
office where I put my briefcase down on the credenza behind the desk and
take a seat and begin reviewing the PO's we need to get out today. I
left the door to the office stand open as I usually do and when I hear a
knock on the doorjamb, I tell Ms. Waters to come in and please close the
door behind her, all without looking up. "Please, take a seat and I'll
be with you in just a minute." I say without even looking at her yet.
Finishing my perusal of the PO's, I lay them at the end of the desk and
stand up to walk around it where I offer my hand to her and introduce
myself. "Hi, Erin, I'm Ken Allen. Let's start off on the right foot and
use each other's first names when we're not around other folks in this
department, okay?" She smiles and agrees quickly as she seems to relax
when I sit down in the chair next to her instead of back behind my desk.
I explain to her the mission I was given through Ruth in HR to reform and
update the stock carried by this department, explaining I'm going to need
her help every step of the way. "I know very little about women's
clothing so you're going to have to teach me. Now, what can you tell me
is wrong with these PO's, from a fashion sense?" as I reach over to get
them from the desk and hand them to her. She looks through them silently
and finally says, "Nothing that I can see, aren't they filled out
correctly?" "No, everything is okay that way, but what about the
purchases themselves? Are the clothes fashionable for today's woman?"
"Honestly? No, not at all. They're about ten or fifteen years out of
date." "Then how about you and I taking a walking tour of the sales
floor and you can tell me what's wrong with the merchandise and what we
should change from your point of view?"
And that's exactly what we did, spending most of the day going through
each and every department in the division. What I learned would probably
fill a couple of books and when I left for the day, my head was still
swimming. I sure couldn't say I knew all there was to know about lady's
fashions but I did know there was a lot wrong with the lines we were
carrying. One thing I did know for certain was that Erin was going to be
invaluable to me as we remade this division.
Tuesday morning, soon after I got to work, I called upstairs to my
immediate superior and asked to see him so we could talk about this
division and some ideas Erin and I had come up with. During the hour-
long meeting, he approved most all of our ideas and added some of his
own, clearing our entire concept with his bosses and even suggesting Erin
and I attend a couple of upcoming fashion shows, one in New Your City and
the other in Vegas, to get a better idea of the directions we might want
to take. When I got back to the office, I asked Jean where Erin was and
she said she was out on the floor dealing with a couple of our floor
supervisors about a scheduling matter. I asked that she be told to see
me as soon as she returned and went on into my office. About a half hour
later Erin knocked on the doorjamb and I motioned for her to come on in
and close the door behind her as I was on the phone. She was really
excited when I told her our ideas had been approved by the powers that be
and that it had been suggested we go to the two fashion shows for ideas
and direction.
What Erin and I worked for the next several weeks was the planning we had
to put in place for the big unveiling promotion we'd thought up for new
look our division was going to reveal and present to our customers. Then
it came close to the time for us to leave for the first of the two shows,
one after another on two successive weekends and we had to work overtime
for a couple of days to finish up all the final details and tie up all
the loose ends.
When I went home the Friday of our last weekend prior to the trips we
were to make and got undressed to take a shower, I noticed for the first
time one of the secondary side effects my doctor had told me I might
experience; a slight swelling behind both my nipples that also seemed to
me to be a bit larger than normal - at least for me. Oh great, I
thought, just what I need right now... to start growing a pair of boobs.
We're flying out Sunday afternoon and now I have to worry about her
seeing these things. Well, maybe they're small enough that she won't
notice anything. After I'm out of the shower and dried off, I dig my
suitcase out of the closet and start laying out the clothes I'm going to
pack. I was really surprised when Erin told me she'd had Jean book us
into adjoining rooms and I still wonder why... or maybe there's really
nothing to it. Either way, I think I'd better stick to wearing boxer
shorts, just to be on the safe side. After all, I don't know how she'd
react if she happened to see me in panties.
Sunday at about one in the afternoon, I drove to the airport where Erin
and I are to meet and parked my car in one of the out lots where I hop a
shuttle to the main terminal, checked in and headed for the gate to wait
for our flight. Not more than five minutes after I arrived at the gate,
Erin showed up and we began to talk about the show we're headed for.
It's supposed to be one of the big shows of the year in the fashion
industry and this year it's being put on in a new and different manner
than ever before, Erin tells me. Seems that instead of the usual runway
style fashion show, this year they're going to try something different; a
large hall with booths for each designer/manufacturer and rooms we can
visit to discuss possible deals with greater privacy.
We arrive at our hotel and are checked in and in our rooms by about 4:30
in the afternoon, separated only by the connecting door between our two
rooms. Not too long after I've unpacked and put my suitcase in the
closet, I hear a knock on the connecting door and walk over to open my
side and let Erin in. Our initial plan is for us to strategize over
dinner and see if we can figure out how we might maximize our time at
this show while at the same time, furthering my education in the world of
women's clothing and fashions.
After asking the Concierge for advice on a quiet, intimate place to eat
where we can talk, too, we head off to grab a taxi and go where he
suggested; a little place in the Bronx called Nunzio's. During dinner a
for a short time afterward, Erin and I discuss how we will carry out our
plan attendance here at the show and at the same time, expand my
knowledge in this still very new field for me. It was after dinner that
she sprang her big surprise on me, asking how I ever got the assignment
to work in the women's division since it had always been a ladies only
position for Buyers. Oh shit, now what do I do? Do I make up some kind
of B.S. story or do I tell her the truth? I'd never imagined letting
anyone other than my doctors and the HR Department know anything about my
medical history, not thinking it would ever come up. But I like Erin and
we're going to have to work together a lot, and be together for this week
and next in closer than normal circumstances so I decide to tell her.
Starting with the cancer and resulting surgery, I explain to her my long-
term friendship with Ruth in HR and how I came to be tapped to fill in
for Erin's former boss. Her first comment was something to the effect
that she could sense there was something different about me but she had
been unable to put her finger on what it might be. Then she asked me,
"Can I ask you some personal questions and please, just say no if it
would make you uncomfortable to answer or to talk about it." Something
about Erin had some time ago led me to trust her so I told her to ask
away. And ask she did; about every aspect of what I've been through and
of how I dealt with my having been emasculated. I corrected her on that
aspect, explaining how the HRT I was receiving has been balanced so I
won't suffer from premature Osteoporosis nor from the overactive libido
I'd previously had and that as a result, I can still "get it up" when the
occasion calls for it. "Oh darn," she jokes, "and here I thought you
were harmless." "Well I am, if what you fear is getting pregnant, that I
can't do." I joked back at her, returning the tease of her comment.
After Erin asks how I'm dealing with what's happened and how it's
affected me mentally, I tell her as much as I can about how I've adjusted
both mentally and physically. In time the discussion returns to the
reason we're here in the first place, the show and we soon decide to head
back to the hotel where we can discuss things further in the privacy of
our rooms.
The following morning, over breakfast in one of the hotel's dining rooms,
my education begins as Erin starts telling me more about women's clothing
than I would have ever thought I would need or want to know. Later, when
the show opens, we begin what is to turn out to be a long and exhausting
day on our feet as we walk up one aisle and down the other. As we visit
the booths of one clothing manufacturer after another, we place orders
with almost every other booth, primarily based on Erin's insight and as I
come to realize, her well-honed fashion sense. I've always been a fairly
quick study and it's soon obvious to me that her choices and selections
are right on the money, so to speak, for today's women. After spending
the morning and early afternoon ordering clothes for the mature woman, we
move to the career woman's wardrobe and leave tomorrow to finish this
department's purchases and to finish up with college-age and young misses
or teenage girls clothes. Today's gone slower than we originally planned
it to, mainly so I could gain the knowledge I need in the beginning and
thus allow us to work faster tomorrow.
When the show closes for the day, we gratefully head back to the hotel
and our rooms, anxious to take a break and get ready to go out for
dinner. My head's still swimming with new information as I jump into the
shower to get ready. Because both Erin and I seem to like quiet,
intimate places, I've again asked the Concierge for a recommendation as
to a nice, high-quality restaurant that fits the criterion. His choice
turned out to be a more formal place than I might have chosen but Erin
seemed enthused so I guess its okay. When she knocks on the connecting
door and I get up to open it to her, I'm stunned. The dress she's
wearing is rather daring for a dinner with her "boss", it's an emerald
green, bare shouldered and spaghetti strap cocktail dress that barely
reaches her knees and fits like a glove. It's a sure bet that people
will be looking at her tonight and never notice my plain dark suit. In
spite of my now more normal libido, I can sense my reaction to this
vision of beauty and find it embarrassing when she purposefully glances
down toward my crotch where I know she can see the bulge in my pants.
Giggling, Erin says softly, "Good, I'm glad to see you're still alive and
well" as her gaze returns upward to meet mine. "Yeah, well it's all your
fault, you and that dress." I tease her in return.
Sitting at a small table in the corner of the room, we're waiting on our
drinks when Erin asks if I've learned anything today. I explain that I
have, telling her some of what I've absorbed thus far about materials
used, color coordination and so on ad infinitum. Our drinks arrive and
we pause in the discussion to look the menus over and place our orders
for dinner. Then we turn to our plan of attack tomorrow and beyond,
going over some of our plans for the big opening of the new and revised
women's division at the store. During the evening, as it progresses and
extends past 10:00, Erin seems to find every possible excuse or reason
she can come up with to touch me... primarily my hands. Finally, as we're
getting up to leave, she comments as though thinking out loud, "I hope
the rest of you is not as soft as your hands." "Well, there may come a
day when you'll know." I answer, looking right into her grey-green eyes
as I strongly hint at my attraction to her.
The following day goes much as the first one did and with our schedule
calling for a return flight home on the red-eye, it's a rush to change
clothes, pack and grab a cab to the airport where we'll get something to
eat at one of the restaurants available on the concourse. Making it in
just past midnight, we part at the airport to get into separate vehicles,
a cab for Erin and the Shuttle for me, for the ride home and our own
beds. I get into work the following morning about an hour earlier than
usual, planning to go over the PO's Erin and I executed at the show to
see how they fit them into the new budget and get them ready to give Jean
so she can file them. When Erin arrives, we make another tour of the
sales floor with some of the folks from the Display Department to begin
formulating plans for the new look we're going to bring to the floor to
go with the new image we're bringing out. Then it's back to the office
where Erin and I closet ourselves in my office where I begin teaching her
the finer points of being a Buyer.
Until Thursday, I wasn't really aware of the nature of the show we're
attending that next week, at least not until Erin teased me about it as
we walked to our cars after work. "I hope you'll be able to do something
to keep yourself under control this next week, this show is going to be
hard for you, pun intended." She says. "How so?" I ask her. "You don't
know? It's a lingerie show." "Oh crap, just what I need, a room full of
nearly naked women walking around." "I'm sure you'll find a way." She
giggles delightfully. Looking directly at her, I responded saying, "I
can only hope." As I got into my car a few minutes later and started it
up, my thoughts were kind of mixed up... on one hand I was starting to
realize something was brewing between Erin and I and on the other, that
it was something that shouldn't be happening. And yet... with this show
being held in Las Vegas isn't what happens in Vegas supposed to stay in
Vegas?
The next day, Friday, the last working day before we take off for Vegas,
is a mad rush to get everything done we need to finish before we leave
for the day. Against my better judgment, I've asked Erin to meet me for
breakfast in the morning to go over a few things before we go that we've
not had time to discuss while at work. It's nothing serious or even
work-related, it's about the clothes we're going to take with us... is this
show as formal as the one in New York or is it more casual? Actually, I
know what I'm doing is wrong, she is my subordinate after all, but I
can't help myself, I really like Erin and I'm pretty sure the feeling's
mutual.
Saturday morning finds us in her favorite restaurant over breakfast,
talking about not much at all. I can tell there are things she wants to
talk about but for some reason, she's holding back. It's a beautiful
morning so when we've finished eating, I suggest we get a couple of large
coffees to go and take them with us to the park across the street. As we
cross the street and just as we're about to enter the park, Erin takes my
hand and gives it a gentle but firm squeeze. I don't say anything for
one simple reason, I'm afraid to break the spell. Once we find a bench
where the sun will be at our backs and is secluded enough to suit her, we
sit down and continue the silence for quite some time, still with her
hand in mine. Finally she speaks and it's to say, "I'm glad you didn't
pull your hand away, Ken." "Same here. I'm just not that sure we should
let it go any further." "Why, company rules?" she asks me. "Well yeah,
that and just the idea since I'm your boss, at least on paper." "If
we're careful and keep it out of work, I'm sure we can just see where it
goes." "That's the part that scares me the most; where it might go,
especially with all the trips to the various shows we're going to be
attending."
After a short back-and-forth discussion of the risks we're taking, we
agree to let time sort out the details. Then Erin asks, "May I ask you
some more questions?" "Like the ones you asked at dinner last week in
New York? Sure, fire away." I respond. "Well, something like them
anyway. What would you think of our sharing a room at this show?" "I
don't think we should since it would show up on our expense reports. But
we could see if we can get connecting rooms again." I suggest, turning my
head slightly to smile at her. Grinning back at me, she says, "You do
know this is a lingerie show, right?" "No, really? I'll definitely be
out of my element than." "I'll be there to help you, sweetie, maybe I'll
even bring a few of my things to show you so you can start learning
before the show opens." She says, squeezing my hand again. "Oh, by the
way, if you don't mind my asking, what do you wear in the way of
underwear? I would think Jockey shorts would be grossly uncomfortable in
your case. Boxers then?" she asks. "Some of the time and also panties,
since they fit better than Jockey Shorts did." "Ooo, I like that," she
giggles. "I can't wait to see you in panties." "And I can't wait to see
you out of yours," I respond bluntly.
But nothing of the sort, or even close to it, took place on this
particular trip. I did, however, learn more than I would have ever
expected to know about ladies lingerie, thanks to Erin. In doing so, I
was also made very aware of why our lingerie sales had continued to slip
at the store; our lines were at least ten years or so behind the current
trends. In order to fully update the line, Erin and I stayed over an
extra day so we could work out a purchase and sales strategy without the
interruptions that were sure to occur at work. The effort also included
the lines from the show the previous week and was part and parcel of the
preparations we were planning for the complete makeover of all the
departments in our division. This day was the only one where either of
us came at all close to seeing the other less than fully dressed and then
the closest we came to it was when we sat around in my room wearing
shorts and tee-shirts while we worked on our plans.
If I remember correctly, it was about two weeks after we got back from
Vegas and were well into the preparations for the changeover to our new
lines that everyone at the store first got sick. Two weeks later, it had
spread to the entire country and at one time or another, each and every
person across the Nation was sick in bed for at least a day or two. No
one died from this mysterious illness, we only felt like we would for a
couple of days. But about two months later the really bad news leaked
out; this sickness had a horrible and deadly affect on everyone who had
come down with it. Each and every person who was taken ill was now
sterile, totally sterile.
The Federal Government and the CDC (Center for Disease Control) promised
the Nation they would find a cure for this terrible affliction before it
was too late but held out little promise that this would happen in less
than several years. As many expected it would, this "lifting of the
ultimate consequence" (pregnancy) lent itself to a period of wide-open
sex and debauchery as people reacted far beyond the norm. It also led,
as many experts expected it might, to a pandemic of STD's and in time,
the yo-yo response wherein sexual intercourse and even contact almost
disappeared.
Erin and I continued working together during this national emergency and
if anything, became even closer as friends but never lovers. It's not
that we didn't' want to, we'd often admitted our desire for each other to
one another but out of mutual respect for our working relationship, we
just never crossed that line. It took about two years before a "cure"
for "illness" of national sterility was announced and the cure seemed
worse than the illness to nearly everyone when they first found out what
it entailed. Cloning, once banned outside of a very few lines, was part
of the cure but it was the rest of it that was so problematical for many.
Apparently, even with cloning of new bodies for everyone, there remained
one factor that couldn't be overcome, the sterility of the new body if it
remained the sex of the original donor. It seems the disease totally
destroyed the genes that were connected to one's original sex and only by
growing clones of the opposite sex could this problem be neutered. The
upside, if there was one, was that almost all illnesses related to one's
former self could be "cut" from the clone; illnesses like Lupus, Multiple
Sclerosis, Parkinson's, and so on... all the genetically-linked diseases
that have plagued mankind for centuries, even heart disease and cancers.
Erin and I were on an after-work dinner date one evening when the subject
somehow came up and she asked me how I felt about it. The following
conversation / discussion went something like this:
I asked her did she mean the idea of cloning?
"Well, yes, sort of. I mean about your maybe being made fertile again?"
"That aspect isn't so bad but its how that bothers me, Erin. Now don't
get me wrong I love women but I've never had even the slightest idea of
becoming one."
"I've never thought about a guy, either. But many of us who are around
our age have to think about this change now, Ken. If we don't, our
population is going to just die away."
"Yeah, I know, it's just that the idea of me being one of those who give
birth to the next generation is just a tad hard to comprehend."
""But think of the advantages, all the pretty clothes we've been buying
that you would finally be able to wear," she teased.
"Maybe, but then you'd have to open the doors for me, instead of the
other way around."
Suddenly, the look on Erin's face became very serious and she responded
to my teasing jab by saying, "Ken, I'd be happy to open doors for you,
and do about anything else I could to make you happy."
Suddenly I felt the full implication of her words and I couldn't help but
respond to them saying, "Erin, I'd do the same for you," almost before I
realized it.
Then, with a lot of emotion in her words as well as in her eyes, she
said, "Then let's do it, Ken. Let's have our clones grown so we can both
be fertile again... please?"
Fully understanding the importance my words would hold, I spoke them to
her with all the meaning I was capable of imparting them saying, "If it
means being with you, I agree, let's do it."
"Can I help design the new you?" she then asked me impishly.
"Only if the deal works both ways." I laugh aloud.
Part Three
As the law requires nowadays, Erin and I both registered and went to a
nearby lab to have tissue samples taken so the growth of our clones can
be started, then we returned to work to inform the HR Department so we
can retain our jobs after we've been transferred into our clones. If all
goes well, we'll return to the lab in a week to make the decisions about
our clones physical appearances and attributes. In the meantime, every
chance we get to speak privately is spent discussing the pros and cons of
each and every aspect of the choices about our new bodies; how I'd like
Erin to look and how she'd prefer me. And yes, these discussions would,
at times, get very, very personal. With both of us in or approaching our
mid-thirties, we've decided to return to our early twenties with the new
Erin to be about a year older than me.
Erin and I had taken that Saturday to go on a daylong picnic at a park I
knew of way out in the country where we discussed with total frankness
all the aspects we could think of regarding the cloned bodies we were
about to "order", including the preferences we each had about one
another's bodies. It was quite strange and yet rewarding to discuss the
bodies of both sexes so openly and frankly, stating our likes and
dislikes about our current selves and how we wished to correct them in
the clones we were each to assume. We laughed uncontrollably when we
realized that what we were doing is creating each other's ideal sex god
or goddess as we told each other how big or small we wanted this or that
part of our cloned bodies to be. Erin told me what my measurements
should be, in what proportion; how long my legs should be, the size of my
feet and even what size breasts I should ask for. In turn, I told her
about height and weight for men and the best size for her... uh... well, you
know.
Early on, as this cloning and transfer process was being fine-tuned using
the first clones, it was discovered that many transferees had a really
difficult time managing and using their new bodies, primarily in the
areas of balance and fine muscle control. These and several other
challenges were overcome in time through the use of implanted knowledge
and medical hypnosis. Accordingly the many aspects of assuming the body
of the opposite genders were overcome and eliminated with new transferees
and they were than able from the moment they were awakened to function as
naturally as if they'd been born the sex they've assumed. Erin's clone
was to be ready about a week prior to mine (the female body being more
complicated than a man's in several key areas) but she decided to wait
until we could be transferred together and thus awakened at nearly the
same times.
I picked Erin up from her place the day we were to "order" our clones and
I have to admit that I was as nervous as hell about the whole deal. I
think she was, too, only because we said barely a word to each until we
arrived at the clinic. After the whole "ordeal" was over and done with,
our future fates now sealed, did we relax and begin teasing each other
about our futures. Since we have this entire day off, and because we've
been kind of toying with an idea for a business we want to start and run
together, we head for one of our favorite restaurants to talk more about
it over lunch.
The idea's really very simple and we've already talked it over with the
powers that be where we work now, "The Store" which must remain unnamed,
and they seem to not only like the idea but have agreed to support and
back us. The concept is really quite simple; Erin and I, once we've been
transferred, are going to offer to both men and women a very special and
private service; complete makeovers of their wardrobes and appearances on
a consultancy basis. Because the store is backing us, we'll have full
access to all their facilities like the beauty salons and barber shops,
the cosmetics departments and of course, the clothing divisions. The
store will sell us everything at a lower markup than is added to the
general public's purchases to afford us another profit center that will
augment our service fees. They've even set up their billing procedures
so that our purchases, using the special store credit cards they'll issue
us, will be double billed; one invoice showing our cost for each client's
purchases and on the other, the regular retail prices for the same sale.
The idea behind all of this is simple; new transferees will have little
practical knowledge of the fashions and looks of their new sex and we'll
be there to provide it to them, for a fee of course.
To aid us in areas where our knowledge is limited, we've already spoken
with some other employees about working for us on a commission basis, so
much for each client contingent upon how much is spent on behalf of that
client in said employee's field of expertise. These monies will be in
addition to what the store pays them normally simply because this is to
be an additional and very special service that is to go above and beyond
what the store is there to do in the first place. Privacy and total
discretion are to be the hallmarks of this service; home visits will be
the procedure we use to meet with our clients to establish their needs,
wishes and desires in order to preserve their anonymity and privacy.
During the numerous meetings we hold with upper management, details were
worked out about office space for me, Erin and two other people and the
promotional marketing effort the store will make when the service is
first introduced and made available by reservation only.
Surveys have been done locally and nationally by this store and others in
addition to the government that indicate a very definite need for
something along this line to assist new transferees. As far as
management can determine, however, we're going to be among the very first
to make such a service available to the general public. Because of the
huge profits the store can see in its future from this idea of ours,
they've granted us a one month paid vacation, beginning immediately after
our transfers. We're going to need it, too, because part of our overall
marketing scheme is for Erin and I to present to our clients the images
of totally successful transferees. She is going to have to appear as
totally masculine as I must present myself as fully feminine so we can
use ourselves as models of the finished product.
With but two months left before our clones are fully grown and ready for
our transfers into them, Erin and I spend most of a Friday evening going
over the measurements of our soon-to-be bodies in order to begin buying
the clothes we're going to need. She also helps me list the cosmetics
and basic jewelry I'll need to start out with just as I help her with her
list of shaving gear and so on. It was the next night after this that we
reached a rather momentous decision, namely that the night before our
transfers we will fulfill the desires we've both held in check for so
long. We've pretty much agreed, unsaid, that we'll have a real
relationship after we've "moved" and accordingly, we both want to do this
before we're transferred if only for comparative purposes. We both know
there's more to it but we'll let this excuse suffice.
As the weeks flew by, busy as we were on the two fronts of continuing to
work as Buyer and Assistant Buyer for the women's division and preparing
to open our totally new service, it was almost a surprise when the
weekend prior to our Monday transfer appointments suddenly rolled around.
As agreed, Erin and I begin the weekend over breakfast, our bags already
packed and in the trunks of our cars. We had, after a lot of talk and
thought, limited our purchases to only what we could pack into one
suitcase we'd check and one small carry-on bag for our flight to the
location of our vacation hotel in southern Florida. Other than what we
were wearing at breakfast and one or two other outfits, we've both given
all our other clothing to Goodwill so those who may need them can have
them as cheaply as possible.
After checking with my doctor a week or so prior to this weekend, I'd
doubled the dose of my male HRT and hoped this would help me keep Erin
content and happy by increasing my sexual stamina in hopes of keeping up
with her desires this weekend. Rather than heading straight to Erin's
apartment right after we finished breakfast, we opted to take a long walk
in a nearby park first, anticipation being one of nature's better
aphrodisiacs. For nearly two hours then, we walked hand-in-hand, arm-in-
arm and stole innumerable kisses as we walked and talked of our future
venture and of the possibility of life together as our futures unfold.
Upon finally going to her apartment where it is our intent to spend the
remainder of the weekend, we finally and yes, repeatedly consummated our
long held desires. To say her reactions piqued my curiosity, much as she
said mine did hers, would be a gross understatement. Words were totally
inadequate as we both tried to explain to the other what sex felt like
and we were left with nothing but even greater anticipation for the weeks
ahead when we were to find out firsthand. This wonderful weekend also
served to begin the mutual education we each would need as I was taught
the importance of front-to-back wiping when a woman is done using the
john and she the care needed when one shaves their face. I watched
closely and with great intent as Erin taught me the intricacies of
applying makeup.
And then, almost before we realized it, Monday morning rolled around and
we had to get out of bed and dressed in greater haste than we had planned
because we'd overslept by nearly 45 minutes. We'd already packed the
clothes we're going to wear after our transfers, pants and a shirt for
Erin, skirt and blouse for me. Oh sure, there was more to what we took
than just those few things but these were the basic elements we were
going to wear when we wake up after being transferred.
We've not been allowed to view our clones prior to today, nor will we
until we wake up in them. But we have seen the rooms where the transfers
will take place and they're very much like any other medical exam rooms,
a simple table we're to lie on and a few instruments and machines they'll
use to monitor us before, during and immediately after the process. At
our request, both Erin and I will be given pictures of each other so
we'll recognize the other person when it's all over and done with. After
checking in at the receptionist's desk, Erin and I each go with a
different nurse toward the rooms we'll be in for the procedure and after
a quick wave, we part company. I follow my nurse to the room where I'm
told to undress completely and given a hospital gown to wear. A few
minutes later, she returns to the room and after telling me to get up
onto the table to lie down, she begins to affix a number of electrical
leads to my head as well as to other parts of my body, I guess the latter
to monitor my health during the process. Even knowing what to expect,
it's a bit surprising when she asks if I'm ready, holding a syringe in
one hand I know will be used to put me to sleep. Very quickly then,
after I've nodded my head yes, she injects me with its contents. As I
begin to drift off into sleep, my thoughts are of what awaits me on the
other side; of a life in high-heels and hose, of monthly periods and
tampons, of breasts and the fully empty groin I'll have. Of what it will
be... like... to... be...a gi....
Much as like waking up from a normal night's sleep, not feeling at all
groggy or drugged, consciousness returns and I find myself in a different
room where everything's reversed; the table I'm on is on the opposite
side of the room and so is everything else, almost like I'm looking into
a mirror. Turning my head to one side when I sense a presence beside me,
I see the same nurse who was with me earlier. "Don't move just yet; let
me make sure you're okay first." She says quietly. A few minutes later
she says, "Okay, you can sit up now. But be careful, you might feel a
bit dizzy at first." As I do as she says and sit up, I can feel the twin
weights on my chest move into place and at the same time, the total
emptiness between my legs becomes evident as does the beyond shoulder-
length hair that now covers my head. No dizziness though, at least
beyond a couple of seconds worth when I first get vertical. Asked to now
stand up, I swing my legs over the edge of the table and slide down onto
my bare feet with no dizziness whatsoever this time. Asked how I feel, I
respond with a hearty and almost gleeful, "Fine, just peachy," blushing
when I realize the very feminine manner I used in answering her question.
"Seriously, I feel great." I add for emphasis. "Would you like to get
dressed now?" "Yes, please." I answer and she says she'll be right
outside the door if I need any help.
Closing the door behind her, I practically rip the gown off to look at
the new me in the mirror that's been conveniently placed on one wall of
this room. Oh wow! Can you say gorgeous? And hot? Turning to the
side, the first thing I look at is the size of my butt; I hope it's not
too big. Ah well, enough of this for now, I really need to get dressed
so I can see how Erin turned out. Opening the small bag I brought with
me, I first take out the panties I packed; a pair of hot pink thong
bikinis and step into them. Then the matching bra which thanks to Erin's
earlier guidance, I know to wrap around me and hook together in front of
me, then turn it around and pull it up so I can slide my arms through the
shoulder straps and into place. I have to reach into the cups to nestle
my boobs into a comfortable position before I open the package of
pantyhose and put them on. After doing this, I find I need to make a few
minor adjustments to the straps of my bra so it fits a bit better, then I
drop the slip down over my head before I finish dressing by putting on
the skirt and blouse I brought with me. Applying only some lipstick in
the way of makeup and then running my fingers through my hair, I slip my
feet into the high heeled shoes and after picking up my purse and putting
the lipstick away in it, I knock on the door to let the nurse know I'm
ready. When she opens the door, she hands me the picture of the new
"Erin" and I immediately react to the image I see in ways I've never
before experienced. I feel my knees weaken slightly at the same time I
get a sort of fluttery feeling in my stomach but the real kicker is the
crinkling I feel inside my bra and the sudden warmth and dampness between
my legs that arrive at the same time as the flushed feeling that
threatens to overcome me. Wow, so this is how women react when they're
sexually excited? What a rush!
Part Four
Walking down the long hallway toward the common area where "Erin" and I
are to meet, I notice the ease with which I'm walking in these three-inch
high heels I'm wearing and marvel at the abilities of these scientists
and the skills by which such muscle knowledge has been implanted into my
mind. I'm also well aware of several other aspects of being in this new
body but I haven't time to mention them just yet because there's so much
to do before "Erin" and I will be able to leave here. We have to tell
them the names we've each chosen to go by now and then wait for a short
period of time while they're registered with all the proper authorities
and all new ID's are made for us. Then we have to go through what they
call an "exit interview" which I can only assume is to make sure we still
have all the marbles we came in with. Only after we've suffered through
this indignity will finally be able to leave and re-enter the world and
that includes my getting back together with "Erin".
Less than thirty minutes have passed and it's all over and done with, I
have my new ID's and have been officially pronounced sane enough to be
let back into the real world. Passing through the final door and out
into the common room, I search everywhere for the image that matches the
photo I was given and just as I'm about to sit down to wait, thinking
he's not quite done yet when I sense him walking up behind me. "Kelly?"
he says in a deep, almost rumbling voice that sends chills down my back.
"Eric, is it you?" I ask as I turn to face the voice. So softly as to be
nearly unheard by anyone more than three feet from us, he says, "Yeah,
sweetie, it's me." Experiencing the same reactions I had earlier when I
first saw the photo of him, times a whole bunch, I feel like jumping into
his arms but for the sake of our dignities, I restrain myself. Instead,
I whisper back to him and softly say, "Let's get out of here." "I'm
ready," he says.
It's already mid-afternoon and neither of us has eaten since last night,
having been told to skip breakfast. Oops, that was the "old us", these
new bodies we now inhabit have yet to eat anything solid, no wonder I'm
so hungry. So when Eric suggests we stop someplace and get something to
eat before he drops me off at his old place (we're switching apartments
temporarily, rather than move some of her things to mine and vice-versa),
I quickly agree. Because we're in public, neither of us says very much
about what we've been through, especially to ask of our respective
reactions but I, for one, am constantly amazed at all things so very new
to me now. My hands with their long, delicate and so very feminine
fingers, the softness of the skin on my arms, the soft caress of my hair
against the nape of my neck and maybe in particular now that I'm sitting
down, the size of my ass. We do speak of how happy we are, however, and
of the trip we have ahead of us in just two days. "Eric" knew full well
all the things I would want, no... make that read NEED to do before we
leave and so had insisted on this two day wait before we leave. Now I
also understand why, I so need to get to a beauty salon and have my hair
and nails done, my legs waxed and so on. Eric, in turn, needs a haircut
desperately and I'm sure there are a few things he'll want to do before
we leave as well. Anyway, as soon as we've finished eating, we walk back
to where I parked my car this morning and after Eric's opened my side's
door for me and I've slid into the car and fastened the seat belt across
my chest (quite uncomfortably, I might a