His Mothers Diary
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Mark's Diary Part 2 free porn video
Mark's Diary Part 2
By Mark Dayette
(This is the continuation of the true account of my strange life)
Before I explain how the story website Fictionmania has impacted my life
I will describe some of the key events that took place to me in my mid-
20's. As I said previously, after graduating from college I moved back
into my mother's house to live with her. I had an English degree but I
wasn't really pursuing any employment in that field. I started working
part-time at a Hallmark card shop. During that time aunt Jessica had re-
entered my mother's life. It had been 8 years since they had spoken or
seen each other. My dead grandmother's sister had played a key role in
getting my aunt and my mother to have a relationship again. That my
mother would take this step of talking to and visiting my aunt again was
shocking to me because Jessica had gotten 85 percent of my grandmother's
inheritance which had angered and humiliated my mother. And my mother
held a belief that Jessica had mentally manipulated their mother to
change her will in the years before her death and give most of the
inheritance to my aunt. Knowing all of that it seemed like my mother
must have had a submissive streak and wanted the abuse.
However, from hints my mother dropped to me it was obvious that my aunt
had dangled to my mother the possibility that some of the old expensive
furniture that was part of the inheritance might still be given to my
mother. My mother had eyes on the prize of getting as much of that
inheritance as she could and it sure looked like she was willing to
"suck up" to my aunt to get it. Soon my mother began pressuring me to go
with her to visit my aunt and that I should join in on the "sucking up".
At first I resisted, I had not forgotten that she had called me a sissy,
but my mother kept trying to convince me that if I "played my cards
right" my aunt would financially reward me. My aunt lived in a house
that was worth $1.3 million dollars compared to my mother's house that
was less than 350,000. I knew that my mother wasn't going to take no for
an answer so I finally gave in and agreed to visit my aunt.
When we arrived at my aunt's house I was already nervous before she even
came to the door, it had been about 10 years since I last saw her. When
she opened the door and let us in and I looked at her I felt embarrassed
and angry at myself that although my aunt was 45 I still found her
attractive. She was wearing her blonde hair in a bun and she was wearing
a white top with tight black slacks. Her figure was in great shape in
total contrast to my mother who is 25 pounds overweight. After staying
in the kitchen for a few minutes the three of us sat down together in
the living room and my aunt asked my mother how her nursing job was
going. My aunt didn't work at all, she lived off of her rich husband who
was almost always travelling, so hearing about my mother's job was like
a glimpse into a different world for her. At some point my aunt got out
the photo album and showed my mother and me recent photos of her son
Jeff and his pretty new wife Andrea. Their marriage had taken place in
the time when my mother and me were still not associating with aunt
Jessica so we didn't attend. I tried to block it out of my mind that
this was the Jeff my aunt had said was so much more athletic than me.
This was Jeff. You know? The one who wasn't a sissy.
Eventually the conversation started slowing down and my mother went into
the kitchen by herself to get some snacks and a drink. My aunt offered
to go with her to help her but my mother said she could handle it. I
needed to go to the bathroom and I asked my aunt where to find that as
this wasn't the original house I had visited her in when I was a child.
She walked with me part of the way and then pointed at the place and I
was ready to go there. When I left the bathroom I was surprised to see
that my aunt was lingering in the hall near the bathroom, she must have
been checking the thermostat for the temperature in the house. She saw
me out of the corner of her eyes, and as we were both standing up in the
hall she had this look on her face like she wanted to talk to me right
there. She asked me how I was, what I was up to, I told her I was
working at Hallmark and she just said, "Oh, okay," and then she switched
to a more personal question. She asked me, "Do you have a girlfriend?"
and when I said, "No," she developed a smirk on her face and next asked
me, "Do you have a boyfriend?" I said, "No."
But the oddest part of her asking me if I had a boyfriend was the look
she had in her eyes when she was waiting for me to give my answer, it
was like a look of anticipation as if she believed it was highly likely
that I was going to say I had a boyfriend because at least in her view
she had sized me up as being gay. After answering these very private
questions I felt extremely uncomfortable and even though I was a 24 year
old man I didn't enjoy talking to my aunt one-on-one. I felt intimidated
by her just as I had felt when I was a child. Suddenly I asked my aunt,
"Is Mom still in the kitchen?" And before my aunt could answer that
question I hurried as quickly as I could to the kitchen to be with Mom.
After the visit to my aunt was over and I was back in my bedroom at
Mom's house I ruminated about that recent private interaction with my
aunt. Every time I thought about it I found a new aspect to be angry or
embarrassed by. First, why hadn't I been angry at her face-to-face when
she asked if I had a boyfriend? Was that an acceptable question for an
aunt to ask her nephew? Asking that question to a nephew who wasn't gay
and who had never come out? Why had I been so passive? Just giving a
barely audible "no" to being asked if you have a boyfriend is not how a
masculine man would act. And then I remembered that my aunt was the same
woman who had said I was a sissy when I was 13 and by going to visit her
again at age 24 it was like I was saying she was completely forgiven. It
dawned on me that my aunt had never apologized for calling me a sissy
not even via my mother. The sissy comment was allowed to be completely
dropped as though it had never happened, it was like my aunt had gotten
away with it. In that context why would it be surprising that she would
also get away with implying that I was gay? There was also a dramatic
element to the sibling rivalry that existed between my mother and my
aunt in which I felt myself to be nothing but a pawn. My aunt and my
mother were still involved in a heated competition with each other and
it would probably please my aunt very much if she could add to her sense
of victory over my mother if my mother's son was gay while Jessica's son
had a pretty wife and was thus a real man.
It was in my late 20's when I found myself more and more consumed by
thoughts of female domination. It developed gradually, I would spend
hours looking up photos of female celebrities, I liked the photos where
they looked bitchy. I would watch soap operas, I liked the female
characters who acted bitchy. When I discovered the story website
Fictionmania I treaded carefully, I quickly understood that the website
presented the new reader with a tremendous challenge. The thought
occurred to me, "Do I know what I'm aroused by? Do I know where I draw
the line and when it becomes something that doesn't arouse me?" Maybe I
had a low opinion of the power of the internet to sway personal behavior
but I was arrogant in believing I could limit myself to general female
domination with some minor crossdressing. If only it was that simple.
After a few weeks of reading the stories my sexuality was out of
control, I was becoming extremely aroused over stories and scenes that I
had never considered possible. I would get so aroused my
teeth would start chattering. Many of the stories hit me hard because
they had plot lines and situations I had encountered in some capacity in
my own life. Stories of boys with dominant mothers, step-mothers, and
aunts. And the details of the humiliations were so thorough. I was also
very aroused at the forced homosexuality the dominant women made these
pathetic boys/men engage in. And shockingly in this world the word
"sissy" was eroticized, a "sissy" was a person stuck in a whirlwind of
ego downfalls, emotional upheavals, and never-ending physical
sensations. Sissies had submissive sex with real men. Sissies had sex
with other sissies. Sissies suffered exquisite public humiliations.
And once I had collapsed to this flood of liberated sexuality my mind
began to re-think past and present situations and give them a fetish
spin. I re-imagined that moment when my aunt asked me if I had a
boyfriend and I thought, "Oh God, what if I had said yes? What if I had
said? Yes I have a boyfriend, I'm so gay, please don't tell my Mommy!" I
imagined spending the month at my aunt's house with just me and her
there and confessing to my aunt, "You were right all along, I've always
been a sissy, I'm nothing like the real man your son Jeff is, please
aunt Jessica keep me in skirts and lingerie and find me a husband."
To Be Continued....
Bess
- 21.02.2020
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