Crystal Lake Academy 2
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Crystal Lake Academy
By: Malissa Madison
Sitting at my vanity in my matching white satin and lace bra, panty and
silky stockings. My hair done up in the schools prescribed loose pigtails
I began on my makeup. My hand shook with nervousness as I started to do
my mascara, and I had to stop twice before poking myself in the eye.
Why the hell was I so nervous now? I knew the answer to that. I was still
asking myself different questions, how had I ended up here? And what have
I gotten myself into and why? I knew the answers to those as well even as
I'd asked them of myself.
I wasn't always Denise Livingood, I also wasn't supposed to be a girl
according to a lot of mean people.
Of course I had a lot of resistance getting here, more than just a bit of
from my own self.
I was seven when I first thought I wanted to be a girl, they had all
sorts of neat things that boys didn't. Easy Bake Ovens, Barbie dolls, My
Little Ponies. And the clothes, the clothes were awesome because there
were so many styles, so many combinations and colors and fabrics. And
they just felt so good every time I tried them on.
The first person to catch me was my Mother, she at first dismissed it as
harmless curiosity, but I didn't stop as I got older. I got deeper into
it, even if it was sporadic to begin with. The urges became stronger and
harder to resist.
Momma was more understanding, I was the youngest of three boys, and she'd
always wanted a daughter but hadn't had one. My brothers Jerry and Mark
took a bit longer, but they seemed to understand after a bit of
difficulty. They, like my Momma began trying to protect me from being
discovered.
It was on my fourteenth birthday that my Daddy finally caught me. It was
the end of summer, school would begin again in just one short week, and
I'd enjoyed my time of being a girl all summer long except in front of my
Daddy. Momma had finally convinced me that if I was intending to become a
girl I'd need to be able to go out in public. She was still trying to
convince me to talk to my Father about everything, saying he might not
understand but he wouldn't ever turn me away.
I got myself dressed up and we spent most of the day at the mall
shopping, slowly continuing to build my self-confidence. I had to admit
that once I got over my fears we did have fun. I had never seen my Momma
so happy and excited before as she introduced me to people she knew.
"This is my Daughter Denise," she would say to people. It felt so
wonderful having her tell people I was her daughter.
It was later when we returned home that things changed.
Turning down our street Momma looked into the rear view mirror, "Denise,
I need you to not panic."
I turned around and saw my Daddy behind us in his car, he was home from
work early. And he pulled into the driveway right behind us.
"Danielle, why is Dennis sitting here dressed up like a girl?" he asked
Momma before we could even get out of the car.
"James please just let us get inside before you start in," said Momma.
Already I was crying and he hadn't said anything to me yet.
"Denise honey, come on lets go inside," momma opened my car door.
"Daddy's going to hate me isn't he? He's going to try to beat me into
being a boy, and he'll throw me out in the streets because I'm a girl
instead of a boy, isn't he?" I squalled all the way to the door.
"Dad, please try to understand," began my brothers as we stepped through
the door.
Ignoring everyone else he turned to me and said, "You, in my office now."
He stepped through the door behind me. "The rest of you stay out here."
"James, please remember that she's scared to death. No violence, please?"
begged my Momma.
"I can't believe you three have been hiding this from me," he said to
Momma before he closed the door and turned the lock.
I stood there still crying. "Please don't hate me Daddy, please," I
begged.
"Sit down," he said pointing to the chair next to his desk.
I sat down, staring at my feet, wringing hands in fear of what might be
coming next.
He crossed to his liquor cabinet and took out a bottle of bourbon and two
glasses. The sound of the glasses being placed on his desk caused me to
look up. He filled one glass almost full then splashed about two fingers
into the second.
Leaning against the edge of his desk he took a long slow drink from the
full glass, then set it down watching me carefully. "Can we discuss this
calmly?"
"D, Daddy I'm sorry," I started crying again, I knew I was a mess. My
mascara I knew was all over my face already and I lifted my hand to wipe
at my tears. Seeing the smeared mascara only made me cry harder.
Catching hold of my hand he said, "Here, this will help settle your
nerves so we can talk about all this and figure out what to do." He
wrapped my fingers around the second glass then stepped around to sit in
his desk chair.
It was my first taste of Alcohol and it burned going down.
"Go ahead Sweetie, drink it down," he encouraged.
He was right the light buzz did help settle my nerves a bit even as the
Alcohol burned my throat, but still I had tears slowly trickling down my
cheeks.
"I gather that since you actually went out in public today that you think
you really want to become a girl."
"Yes Daddy, I want to be Denise. I want to be your little girl," I
dropped my eyes to my feet again ready for his wrath.
"How long have you been feeling this way? How long have you been hiding
this from me?" he asked calmly, gently.
"Daddy please, I, I've always wanted to be a girl. I'm sorry I hid it
from you. I'm sorry I made everyone hide it from you," I tried to
anticipate his next question. "Please don't be mad at everyone else, I
made them swear not to tell you."
Daddy stood up and went to the door. I heard the click of the lock,
"Danielle, please come in here."
Momma stepped quickly in and he closed the door again.
"Are you alright Baby?" she asked me.
"Yes Momma," I answered.
"I can understand her brothers keeping this from me. But did you really
think that I would not try to understand, that I would do something to
hurt her?" he asked Momma.
"No I didn't, but surely you can understand how important it is that we
keep promises, especially to our children." she said. "But I really would
like to know how you found out, and why you're taking this so damned
calmly."
I actually gasped hearing my mother swear, not that she never cussed. It
was just rare to hear her actually cursing out loud.
Momma pulled over another chair and sat down next to me.
Then Daddy smiled at both of us before taking my hand. "Come here
Denise," he led me around his desk then pulled me up onto his lap.
"I want you to know that while I didn't really understand it at the time,
and I still don't, but I am willing to accept that my son Dennis needs to
be my daughter, Denise."
I was crying all over again, but now for a different reason.
His thumbs wiped at my tears as he pulled me into a hug, "Thank you
Daddy."
"James are you really serious?" asked Momma.
"I won't let her start school with her brothers," he began.
"James?"
"Daddy, I thought you just said," I began.
"It's too dangerous for you to go to school here. Not to public school,"
said Daddy as he pulled open a drawer on his desk.
He opened a folder with Denise Jamie Livingood written across the front.
Inside was a photo of a beautiful lake with what looked like some sort of
resort.
"Crystal Lake Academy" was written across the top. "Transgender Girls
Academy" was at the bottom. And it was only fifty miles to the west.
"D, Daddy?"
"I don't like the thought of you being so far away. But it's safer than
you taking your chances in that damned public school. And I don't want to
take a chance on losing my only Baby Girl," he pulled Momma to us then.
"James it's so far away," began Momma.
"It's a boarding school, but we'll have her home on weekends." He hugged
me tighter, "And you will be safe there, you'll get to learn to be a girl
from other girls just like you are. And on weekends you will be here at
home with all of us and your mother can teach you all the things mothers
are supposed to teach their daughters." He hesitated a moment then added,
"That is if you really, truly want to be my little girl."
"I, I, thank you Daddy," I was hugging him hard when my brothers knocked
on the door.
"Come in," he told them.
They were looking me over, I'm sure it was to make sure that I wasn't
crying because I was hurt.
"Mark, Jerry I'm going to ask you both to please keep looking out for
your little sister while she's home on weekends," said Daddy.
"Home on Weekends? Is she going somewhere Dad?" asked Mark my oldest
brother.
"Your Sister, mother and I have reached an agreement. We are going to
help her as a family to become the girl she feels she needs to be. But in
order to keep her safe, she is going to be going to the Crystal Lake
Academy."
"A boarding school Dad?" asked Jerry. "I'm not ashamed of my Sister,
Dad."
"Neither are we. But you know how much trouble Cassidy had when she was
in school here. I will not let that happen to your sister," said Daddy.
Cassidy Jones was Jerry's girlfriend last year, and she'd gotten beaten
up several times before her parents pulled her out of school. I guess now
I knew where she'd gone to, if my brother already knew about Crystal
Lake.
"Jerry you know they didn't send her there because they were ashamed of
her," Mark said. "They sent her there because she kept getting beaten up
whenever we weren't there to protect her."
"Jerry is it as nice as the brochure says?" asked Momma now flipping
through the file folder.
"I've been there when her Mom and Dad went to pick her up. It looked
really nice," he said. Then he picked up Daddy's phone and started
calling someone.
"Cassie, could you come over to the house and talk to Denise about
Crystal Lake?" "Oh, yeah I remember, but what if my Mom comes with me to
pick you up and brings you home afterward?" "Oh, Yes Ma'am they'll be
here. Thank you." He hung up.
"Jerry?"
"Her Mom is coming with her. She wants to meet Denise and tell us what
all she's going to need for school," he explained. The things that aren't
listed in the school requirements."
Cassie and her Mom were a fountain of information. I was so excited after
they left and during the next week as not just Momma but my Daddy also
took me out to get things for school. Daddy even took me to get my ears
pierced, I could see the tears in his eyes as he took pictures then
bought me a little jewelry box to take with me that he stocked with
necklaces and earrings.
I realized that my Daddy had also been hoping to have a daughter just
like Momma, and I was happy now that he knew and accepted me. It was
still a bit of a pleasant shock that he'd figured things out long ago but
hadn't pressured me either direction, he'd just waited until he felt he
had to do something.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I now had one of those trunks with little rollers on one end, and two
suitcases plus one of those Garment bags with my dresses in it.
The hardest part for me was sitting in the shrinks office telling her how
long I'd wanted to be a girl. And then the physical and the Endocrine
screenings I needed before school started.
My whole family insisted on going along on Sunday morning. I had to be
there by one pm to get checked in and get my room and go through
orientation.
I had known that Cassidy was Transgendered but until then it really
hadn't registered with my brain.
Now seeing Jerry with her as her parents dropped her off I understood how
my brother could love me. I also began to wonder if a boy might love me
that way some day.
"James, this is the hardest part," said her Dad to mine at the front
doors of my dormitory. "There are no males allowed past those doors."
"What?" Daddy was confused and his arms tightened around me.
"It is run just like any other Private Girl's School. No men are allowed
in the Dorms."
"D, Daddy I'll, I'll be ok," I squeezed him tight.
"I'll help her get everything up to her room and make sure everything is
alright," assured my Momma.
There were a lot of girls here who had been in the seventh and eighth
grade classes before. It was easy to tell the ones who had already gone
here before, they were running around talking to everyone a mile a minute
catching up with friends and even welcoming those of us who were just
starting out. They even helped us get my things to my room and I saw more
than a few who were only partially dressed.
Momma consulted the paper in her hand, "Here it is Sweetie, room 215."
The door was standing open and there was another girls things spread out
on one of the two beds. The wall locker and one desk already held a lot
of her things but she was nowhere in sight.
"Those must be Abigale's things," Momma said.
"Abigale?" I asked.
"Yes right here," she held out the paper. "Room 215, Abigale Moore and
Denise Livingood. And it says right here that your room phone number is
555-F215."
I giggled then, "Oh." The number four was actually listed as an 'F' for
Freshman Dorm.
"Hey you're here," another young girl hugged me. "Oh you are going to
love it here." "Hi Ma'am, I'm Abigale but everyone calls me Abby." She
introduced herself.
We chattered away as she and Momma helped me unpack and put my things
away. Then Abby said, "Hey we better start getting ready for
Orientation." That was when Momma realized how late it was.
I rushed down stairs to say goodbye to Daddy and my brothers until Friday
evening.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I looked up into the little vanity mirror, then took a deep breath, 'You
can do this. Not just for you, but for Daddy'.
I finished my makeup and then pulled on the white button down Cotton
blouse with the 'CLA' crest. I stepped into the pleated Pink Plaid Mini
skirt, and then fastened the ankle straps of the three inch heels.
Carefully I straightened up my vanity, then reached for my purse.
"Ready to go?" asked Abby as she too stood up from her own Vanity.
Stepping out into the hallway we joined the rest of our class as we
started for the Auditorium/Gymnasium.
Hortense
- 02.12.2021
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