Eagle's Cry
***
This is my first attempt at a western genre TG story. I wrote it to
stretch my comfort zone and hopefully improve my overall writing. This
story contains no graphic sex, but does contain a rape scene and thus I
rated the story X.
This is my twenty-fifth story submission to fictionmania. I love writing
but what keeps me writing are your reviews and comments. Please consider
reviewing this story. I hope you enjoy it.
***
The sun scorched the high desert heating the earth and creating
shimmering air waves in the distance. Hot wind made it hard to breathe
and carried bits of dirt and sand that got everywhere. I ran my tongue
over my chapped lips and tasted the grit that stuck to them. The brim of
my hat shadowed my eyes but I was still forced to squint as I looked at
the distant mountains. Sensing we had miles more to go before any shade,
shelter, or water could be found my horse shifted uneasily beneath me. I
reached down and patted her rusty brown neck. "Easy, Juniper."
I pulled my rifle from my saddle holster and looked through the scope
spotting a whisper of trail dust on the farthest ridge. Given the
distance, I was still half a day behind the infamous Clark gang. I re-
holstered my rifle and took a deep sip of water from my water skin. My
silver badge caught some rays of sunlight causing me to close my eyes as
I tipped my head back.
For three weeks I'd been tracking the gang. The posse that started with
me on this journey all abandoned me and departed weeks ago. I pulled a
bloodied handkerchief from my shirt pocket and fingered the white
letters monogrammed into the delicate pink silk. It belonged to one of
the gang's most recent victims. They robbed a train but weren't
satisfied with just taking money and jewelry. They killed and raped as
many people as they could. I'd discovered this handkerchief on the body
of a young woman that had been brutally raped then killed. I couldn't
let these animals get away with what they'd done. I urged Juniper
forward at a slow pace to save her energy as we crossed the arid
expanse.
By sunset I was camped upon the ridge the Clark gang had passed across
earlier in the day. I leaned up against a fallen sun-parched tree with
my feet to the fire as the sounds of the night rose as a cacophony
around me. I pulled a weathered piece of parchment from my saddlebag and
stared at the pictures of the twelve men portrayed on it. I'd memorized
them a long time ago, but seeing their scruffy features helped drive me
onward each day. Daniel Clark, the gang leader, was wanted for the
murder of at least ten people. He was large and ruthless. Soon I'd see
him hanging by a rope for his crimes.
An ember popped from the fire and landed on my dusty worn leather chaps.
I watched the orange glow slowly ebb and die. It reminded me of life on
the western frontier. At thirty-seven I was already considered an old-
timer. One day, perhaps I'd give up this life. The reality was that
people didn't really retire from being a Marshall, they were
involuntarily retired, usually by someone else's gun. For all my
experience, my fighting ability, and how quick I was with my six-
shooter, I was one man against twelve. I never expect to return from
chases like these. I pulled the brim of my hat lower, crossed my arms
over my chest and closed my eyes. Tomorrow I'd get an early start to the
day and hopefully by sunset I'd close in on them.
***
It had already been a long day and with each ridge I came over expecting
to see the Clark gang on the other side I was reminded of just how long
I'd tracked them. Their trail was very visible, but I also spotted signs
of Indian activity in the area. Several tribes on the frontier were very
dangerous, but most were peace-loving. I looked up as I heard the sound
of a vulture but was surprised to see dozens circling overhead. They
seemed to be southwest of me and I now spotted wisps of smoke coming
from the same vicinity. I kicked Juniper and we increased our speed.
When I started hearing activity I dismounted, tied Juniper to a tall
sage bush, and pulled my rifle from my saddle holster. I crept to the
top of the ridge and looked down upon a scene of bloody carnage. An
Indian tribe had been slaughtered. Two dozen men, women, and children
lay dead, their blood painting the desert soil. A scream drew my eyes to
the north edge of the camp. A golden haired white woman was thrashing in
the grips of a large man. With my scope I caught glimpses of the man's
face. He was one of the Clark gang. Another man stood nearby holding an
Indian woman by her hair.
I couldn't rush this. I was one man against an unknown number that might
still be in the area. I took my time scanning the camp and saw no other
men but that didn't mean they weren't nearby or within earshot. Another
scream and I turned my scope back to the woman as the man, Billy Rae,
raised his pistol and shot her in the thigh. I lay prone and leveled my
rifle on the center of the man's back, took a breath, adjusted for the
distance and wind, and pulled the trigger. Blood sprayed the woman as
the bullet erupted from his chest. Billy Rae was no more, collapsing to
the side, but his buddy, Silas Jackson, must have caught sight of me and
opened fire. I hunkered down as his bullets raked the hillside in front
of me. I waited for a pause, drew my pistols, and then ran along the
ridge and straight into Casper Jepsen. His rifle was trained on me. I
veered and dove over a rocky outcropping just as a bullet tore through
my ribs. I managed to hang onto one pistol as I rolled uncontrolled down
the ridge towards the two women.
I stopped suddenly and gasped for air. The wound in my side had most
likely punctured my lungs as I felt I couldn't get enough air. I slowly
opened my dirt encrusted eyes and looked into the face of the Indian
woman who indicated with her eyes that someone was coming up behind me.
I winced in pain as I rolled over, took aim, and shot Casper in the
chest. I breathed a sigh of relief until a bullet shattered my right
shoulder; the force of the bullet rolled me completely over and onto my
back. Silas stood over me with both pistols pointed at my face, his left
foot stomped down on my right wrist, breaking numerous bones and causing
me to drop my last pistol. I would've screamed if I could gather enough
breath.
"Marshall Ethan Hammersmith. Yur already dead." I watched him as he
looked up into the sky. "Two hours until sunset. You'll bleed out
overnight if the vultures and coyotes don't finish you before that." He
kicked my pistol away then fired two shots, one into each leg. This time
I did scream, using whatever air I had left. My sight had gone blurry
and my breathing ragged as I watched him turn away from me. My left hand
gripped my knife and I swung with my remaining strength, cutting deep
through the tendons on the back of his leg. He fell backwards on top of
me screaming curses until my blade found his throat. His blood mingled
with mine as he slid off of me. I gasped for breath and stared into the
sky waiting for the vultures to drift lower and lower towards me.
I was unsure how long I laid there bleeding out onto the ground. My
breathing was labored and short and darkness crept into the edges of my
vision. The sky was darkening with the odd flaming orange cloud. I tried
to move but my body refused to respond. Strangely and mercifully I felt
no pain. The feeling of my body slipped away but my hearing and smell
seemed to enhance. Perhaps in my death only my brain was still
functioning as the distractions of my body fell away like chaff. I could
hear the clicking of insect legs walking across the sand and smell the
earthy dust, acrid smoke, and metallic scents of blood.
I closed my eyes and heard a woman scream then the piercing cry of an
eagle. Through my dying haze I opened my eyes and caught a glimpse of
the Indian woman. She was chanting and waving sage smoke over me. The
pungent smell beckoned me and pulled at me, lifting me upwards with the
slowly curling drifting smoke. I pondered the ritualism of it and
wondered if she were giving me some sort of death right. I tried to
speak but I couldn't. I closed my eyes and slid into oblivion.
***
The sound of a crackling fire was the first thing that entered into my
consciousness. This was followed by the melodic chanting of a woman and
then the awareness of warmth on one side of me and cold on the other. I
climbed and clawed my way into further awareness. I struggled to open my
eyes as they felt like they were weighed down by some invisible force. A
crack of light appeared, then another. I turned my head towards the heat
of the fire. The Indian woman was there kneeling beside me. Her long
black hair was unbound and cascaded down across the tan-colored deer
skin clothing that had colorful beads sewn into it in geometric
patterns. In one hand she waved an eagle feather slowly back and forth
and in the other hand a stick of blue-grey sage. She was young and
beautiful.
Her dark eyes opened and fixed upon mine. I read a mixture of deep
sadness yet there was a momentary flicker of joy. I watched unmoving as
she raised her hands and eyes to the sky then lowered them once again.
She turned her eyes on mine and in surprisingly fluent English she
spoke.
"Do not move yet. The eagle spirit called to me last night. It told me I
must save you so that you could avenge our people. My friend Elizabeth's
vessel was whole but her spirit was weak. She chose to fly away with the
spirits of my people. Your spirit was strong but your vessel was weak.
The eagle spirit showed me what to do. He told me he bestowed upon you a
great gift."
I blinked and tried to make sense of what she was saying but none of it
made sense. I raised my head from the ground as a light morning breeze
blew long strands of golden hair in front of my eyes. I looked down to
see blue patterned cloth spattered with blood and edged with white lace.
My mind simply wasn't registering what I was seeing. I turned my head to
see my own weathered face staring back at me. I jerked upright causing
searing pain in my left thigh and feeling a weight on my chest shift.
"What?" I stammered and choked on the feminine sound that came from my
mouth.
A gentle hand rested on my shoulder. "Calm yourself. Let your spirit
settle." Her words and touch soothed me. I closed my eyes and took
several deep breaths. "As I told you, your vessel was weak and the eagle
spirit guided me to bring your strong spirit into a better vessel." I
couldn't comprehend what had happened and thought perhaps I was merely
dreaming or had already died.
I opened my eyes again and looked down. Long golden hair fell over my
shoulder, across the blue patterned fabric, and over the bumps on my
chest. Looking beyond I could see blood staining the cloth where my left
thigh would be. I looked to my left again to see myself lying on my
back. My gray-blue eyes dull and lifeless and my lips covered in crusted
blood and flecked with sand. Dark stains pooled on the ground around my
chest and legs. My star was coated in a fine film of dust. Bile rose in
my throat and I heaved but nothing came out. My sudden movements once
again caused a searing pain in my thigh.
Slowly and carefully I turned back to the Indian woman. "I don't..."
Hearing my feminine voice once again caused me to falter. "I don't
understand."
"Elizabeth suffered terrible loss. For the past year she befriended me
and my tribe. When the men came and killed everyone, raping the women
and then cutting their throats, she chose to give up her spirit. She no
longer wanted to be a part of this world and wished to go on to be with
the spirits of her loved ones. When you came and fought for us and you
were badly injured, your vessel, your body, could no longer contain your
spirit. As the sun set the eagle spirit allowed Elizabeth to give up her
vessel, to move beyond to be with her loved ones. At that moment the
eagle spirit called to me and guided me to move your spirit to a vessel
that would allow you to avenge our people."
I moved my hand to my face and felt the fullness of my lips and the
incredibly soft smooth skin. I looked down upon myself and the dress I
was wearing. "I must be dead... This can't be..."
"I myself did not know this was possible, but here you are." Her hand
caressed my head tenderly and for a moment I leaned into her gentle
touch before pulling myself away. She retracted her hand as if it was
burned and a tear fell down her cheek.
"If this is true, how can I avenge anyone as a woman?" Even saying the
words made me feel weak and emasculated.
"A vessel is a vessel, but a spirit is a spirit. Does this new vessel
change who you truly are? You are still the same spirit as you were
before. You believe women are inferior as most men do."
"I still feel I'm the same person inside and yes, women are inferior to
men. That's why men go to war and why women stay at home. Women are
weaker and more fragile than men."
"That is where you are wrong. Regardless of your beliefs, you are now in
the vessel of a woman. Elizabeth lived through many hardships. Her
vessel is stronger than you may ever think." She turned away towards the
fire and poured something into a metal cup. "You have lost blood and are
weak. Drink this. We must leave here soon."
Whatever was in the hot liquid she gave me renewed my strength. Pain
ebbed away as I drank but the foreignness of my new body didn't. I
glanced back at the old me and while I struggled to grasp my new
reality, at least I was alive. I reminded myself that several times I
had to fight for my survival. Had I stayed in my old body I would no
longer be living, but to now be a woman? I shook my head in disbelief. I
watched as the Indian woman was busy gathering items and loading up
horses. There were four horses including my Juniper which shied away
from her touch.
"The men that did this will eventually return looking for those that
remained behind. We need to leave."
"I need to see to my leg and gather my weapons first."
"I urge you that we need to be quick or we will both have our spirits
leave this world but not before our vessels suffer greatly."
The thought of being pinned down and raped flashed into my mind. I
shuddered and was afraid for the first time in my life. I pulled on the
edge of the dress and the layers beneath exposing my new legs. The wound
was clean and the bullet had thankfully passed through muscle and out
the other side. The Indian woman handed me some leaves she had chewed
into a poultice and some strips of cloth. I grimaced with pain as I
pushed the poultice into both sides of the wound and wrapped my thigh in
the cloth. I chose to believe she knew what she was doing and I'd seen
how native medicines could help a wound. "Help me to stand. Please?"
The woman came to my left side. I put my arm around her shoulders and
she put hers around my waist. The effort of standing caused me to scream
out in pain. I hobbled unsteadily until she brought me a stick I could
lean on. "I found this." She held up my rifle and with her help I took
it to my horse and slipped it inside of its holster.
I clung to Juniper and moved to face her. She didn't shy away from me.
"Do you know me, Juniper?" She rubbed her nose into the palm of my hand.
"Animals connect to us by our spirit. She knows you."
I smiled a little as I rubbed her neck then hobbled over to my old body.
I slowly reached out my hand and touched my old face, startled by the
dry roughness of my old weathered skin and graying beard. I pulled my
hand away shaking as I did so. I closed my eyes to steel myself and
reached under my vest to untie my money bag. Then on a whim I unclasped
my badge that showed I'd been a Marshall. I turned away, but turned back
once again and fumbled with my old shirt. I pulled out the handkerchief
of the woman that had been raped. I suddenly felt very frail as I ran my
fingers over the monogram. With the Indian woman's help we undid my belt
and holsters and found my pistols. We attached those to my saddlebag.
Then with a great deal of pain and with her help I was pushed up into my
saddle. The Indian woman mounted her horse. I asked her which way we
should head.
"Elizabeth's ranch is a day's ride west of here. I believe we should
head there."
We started out slowly as the pain in my thigh was excruciating. After
the first twenty minutes and threatening to pass out from the pain the
nerves finally succumbed into a dull deep throb. Unfortunately this
allowed my awareness to shift to how my new body was moving. With every
step my breasts bounced heavily and the noticeable gap between my legs
pressed up against the hard worn leather of the saddle. The resulting
combination of feelings made me question whether or not I should simply
give up my spirit like Elizabeth had.
When we reached the top of the nearest ridge we stopped and looked back.
I realized in all of my time this morning I hadn't thought much about
the Clark gang or the destruction they had caused. Now looking back upon
the devastation I felt my breath catch in my chest. Smoke billowed
across the camp and the bodies of the slain were still visible. Vultures
had finally descended with the morning light. I heard a piercing cry of
an eagle as the anger built inside me. They deserved death for what they
had done. I looked over at the Indian woman and saw her tears falling
freely down her soiled and dusty face.
"I'm sorry."
"Their spirits are all gone from here and they live on. My pain comes
from knowing I am not with them."
We rode on in silence and took every opportunity to cover our tracks
when we spotted rocky areas and streams. We stopped in the early
afternoon by a slowly meandering stream. The Indian woman helped me down
from my horse and I collapsed into the grass, everything going black.
My eyes fluttered open as a wet compress was put to my forehead. I
looked into the Indian woman's eyes. "You have a slight fever. You
should have told me to stop sooner."
For a moment I thought perhaps I was the old me but one slight change in
my position reminded me how different my weight distribution now was. "I
don't even know your name."
"My name is Anpaytoo."
"Your name means radiant. It suits you."
She smiled and I realized how beautiful she truly was. "I am surprised
you know something of my language."
"In my thirty-seven years I've met many Indian tribes and learned much
from them."
"Your old vessel was thirty-seven years; your new one is nineteen. There
is a pool of water here. I need to get you cleaned up. What should I
call you?" She reached over and began unbuttoning the front of my dress
starting with the buttons just below my chin.
"I was Marshall Ethan Hammersmith. What name would you give me?"
She paused. "Hurit perhaps. Or Hehewuti. Of course everyone that knew
Elizabeth would see you as Elizabeth Mackenzie."
"I'm not familiar with those Indian names."
"Hehewuti means warrior mother spirit. You are a warrior but you are
also now a woman. Hurit means beautiful." I must have blushed as she
smiled again. No one had ever called me beautiful before and that made
my reality all the more real.
"Elizabeth was your friend. I'm sorry she's no longer with you. Would it
bother you to call me Elizabeth? It seems to make sense to keep her
name."
Anpaytoo's eyes looked distant until she once again started to undress
me. "We were friends, nothing more. Elizabeth is a good name for you. I
need you to stand." She helped me to my feet and I grabbed onto her as a
wave of dizziness washed over me. "We rode too long and you need food
and water. We will bathe first then I will get you some food." My dress
fell to the ground and she further unclasped the corset that was
underneath, then the chemise that touched my skin. I stood naked and
embarrassed before her and felt significantly lighter with all the
clothing removed.
Steadying myself by holding onto a branch of a tree, I looked down upon
myself. My breasts moved freely and looked large to me. My light skin
was unblemished and it was clear this body had not spent time exposed to
the sun and outdoors as I had all my life. I looked between my breasts
at the incredible flatness of my stomach and past that to the noticeable
missing parts between my legs. My arms and legs looked fit and toned,
which made me wonder what kind of life Elizabeth had before this. With
the exception of some nausea and pain in my thigh, I felt surprisingly
good. I felt none of the aches and pains that had become a constant
reminder of my old life. I rubbed absently at my right hip where I had
taken a bullet years ago that had always ached, especially after a long
ride. There was no hint of pain from that spot.
I watched as Anpaytoo untied her leather dress and knee-high moccasins.
The leather had done much to hide her lithe and beautiful body. She was
extraordinary. She took my arm and led me into the frigid water. The
nipples on my breasts reacted and became erect and hard. Without the
restrictive clothing I now noticed the extra padding on my backside, my
wider hips, and how my breasts moved and bounced freely.
The frigid cold water on my thigh wound caused me to gasp aloud, but
when Anpaytoo pushed my head under the water the resulting shock of cold
revived me greatly and brought new clarity to my mind. She found a bar
of soap in my saddlebag and began washing me with it. She appeared
completely unashamed of her exposed body and I was unaccustomed to this
type of care. She washed my hair and face then carefully washed the rest
of my body, including between my legs. I couldn't help but imagine how
aroused I would have been as a man at the gentle caresses of a beautiful
naked woman such as Anpaytoo. Warmth spread from within me but I was
unsure if these sensations from my new body were arousal.
She took particular care of my thigh then quickly washed herself before
helping me out of the pool. The hot sun felt nice after the cold water
of the pool. We added another poultice and bandage to my thigh before
Anpaytoo found food for us both. After we were fed and dry, she helped
me back into my clothes before getting dressed herself.
"I think we should spend the night here and get an early start tomorrow.
You need more rest. Continuing would weaken you too much." I agreed and
lay back down on the grass. There was much disturbing about having seen
myself dead. I was far more fearful about the Clark gang now than ever
before. If I knew them, they would retaliate for the three men that were
killed. There's no question that they would track us and we hadn't
travelled far or fast. I suspect that we did a good job of covering our
tracks, but it would only be a matter of time before they caught up to
us. And when they did? I looked down at my slender form and shuddered.
"Could you bring me my pistols?"
Anpaytoo removed the packs and saddles from the horses and brought my
belt and two holstered pistols over to me. I took one of them out and
made sure it had six bullets in it. I noticed how weak my wrists were
and how heavy the pistols now felt. I was afraid I'd break my wrist if I
pulled the trigger. Trying to ignore how this body felt I focused on how
I would protect us if the Clark gang attacked. By cutting the gun belt
by about eight inches and making new holes I was able to fasten the belt
around my now much smaller waist. Anpaytoo watched me with much
interest. Eventually she came and knelt behind me and brushed out my
hair with her fingers.
"Women do not wear guns."
"You're right. I've never seen a woman wear pistols, but I have seen
women shoot rifles. The men that attacked your tribe, I was hunting
them. They're known as the Clark gang. They will come after us once they
pick up our trail. I can't leave us unprotected."
She began braiding my hair into a long single braid. "I never understood
what the eagle spirit was thinking when it told me you would avenge our
people."
"They need to pay for what they did, but I'm not sure I'm the one to
avenge your tribe. I'm a woman. How can I kill nine men on my own?"
"When the time comes the eagle spirit will guide you."
We chose to avoid a fire this night for the light and smoke would act as
a beacon for any pursuers. As night fell Anpaytoo wrapped us both in a
blanket and we held each other for warmth. My throbbing thigh distracted
me from focusing on being wrapped in the arms of a beautiful woman all
night. I quickly drifted into a deep sleep.
***
"Elizabeth... Elizabeth... Wake up. We need to go." Anpaytoo's voice was
calm with no real urgency to it. I opened my eyes to the pre-dawn light.
The air was cold and crisp as I was helped up into my saddle. The
campsite was packed away and the horses ready before I had even woken. I
know I needed more rest, but at least my thigh was feeling somewhat
better.
"You're taking such good care of me. How can I ever repay you?" I didn't
dare get angry over the fact that I was a woman now and she was to
blame. I was alive and perhaps this was some strange twist of fate that
would allow me to have a better life.
We started moving west before she replied. "A year ago I was trading
with the white man. My English was very bad and some men accused me of
cheating them. They took me behind a barn and started to tear off my
clothing. Elizabeth came upon us and managed to convince the men to
leave me alone. I am not sure how or what she did, but she saved me. She
took me to her ranch and helped me learn better English. It was during
my time with her that she told me her husband had recently been killed
and she was now on her own. She had some gold they had saved together,
but she knew she needed to be independent. She helped my tribe sell
their goods and in turn she was able to afford food for herself and seed
for her garden. I believe we are all here to serve a purpose and I am
happy to have helped Elizabeth through a difficult time in her life just
as she helped me and my tribe."
"She sounds like an honorable and strong woman."
Anpaytoo stifled a cry. "She lived with her pain and tried to be happy,
yet I could see she would never love again. She was broken inside. When
the men came and raped and killed my tribe, we were both tied up and
made to watch the horrors unfold. They wanted to make us suffer before
they raped and killed us. I believe the shock, the pain from the gunshot
wound, and the fear of being raped and killed caused her to want to give
up her spirit."
I was quiet for some time thinking about my situation. My body rocked
back and forth in the saddle and I found myself somewhat enjoying the
rhythm of it all. Perhaps it was the extra padding on my backside, or
the fact I was much lighter than I was before, but riding felt more
comfortable. I knew that I didn't miss my manhood, at least not while I
was in the saddle. Even that admission in my own mind made it feel like
I was giving into my new lot in life. Was I becoming so feminine so
soon? Would I next want to start baking, darning socks, and having
children? I shuddered at the thought of being on the receiving end of
sex.
"Anpaytoo? Do you have any family left? Another tribe that would take
you in?"
"No. Their spirits have all left this world. I am alone now."
"You'll never be alone as long as I have breath within me. I don't know
anything about being a woman or being able to take care of myself in
such a frail body, but for what it's worth, I am here for you and will
care for you as best I can. That's if you would like that."
"You call your body frail yet I saw Elizabeth expand and build her farm
with her own two hands." She laughed and smiled. "I would like that,
only it seems I am the one taking care of you."
It was late in the day when we looked down upon a small but pretty
valley with a river meandering through it. A little farmhouse stood just
south of a stand of trees protecting it from the cold north winds of
winter. A small barn and fenced area were connected where several goats
grazed. Closer to the river a fenced area with a garden that even had
irrigation ditches to use the river water. It was well designed and
thought out and enough land to fully sustain a good-sized family.
"This is your home, Elizabeth."
"Our home. You and I are the only family we have."
"I'm glad you say that. When we get to the house I will take care of the
animals while you rest. I will make food for us and then tomorrow we
will prepare."
***
The next morning I woke at the crack of dawn, hardly remembering eating
and getting into bed. Anpaytoo was nowhere in sight and I wondered where
she might have gone. I was still fully clothed in the blood-stained
dress but I felt far better than the previous two days. My thigh gave a
slight protest as I stood, but otherwise I was steady and could move
around with only slight pain and limping.
The house I found myself in was small but very well built. There was
even a small sink with a pipe for water, something I'd only seen in
bigger cities before. I made note to find out how this was accomplished.
The place was very well kept, clean, and organized. A trunk at the end
of the bed suggested there might be clothing hidden inside so I opened
it and found fresh clothing for myself. All of it was clothing for a
woman, not that I was surprised. I pulled out a change of clothes and
recalled as we rode into the farm there was a spot in the river that
could be used for bathing. I found some soap and headed for the river
stopping at the outhouse to relieve myself.
When I got to the river I was riveted by the sight of Anpaytoo bathing.
Her long lustrous black hair was flattened against her back. Her medium-
colored skin glistened with the morning sun and water. I thought I was
being quiet but she turned and smiled at me, beckoning me to join her.
It took quite a bit of time to unbutton my dress and strip out of all my
clothes. The buttons were all backwards and the clasps for the corset
were tight. Once I was free of the clothing I gingerly stepped into the
cold river and waded over to Anpaytoo.
"You look much better this morning, Elizabeth."
"I feel much better this morning. Thank you for taking care of things
last night. I needed the extra rest."
I couldn't help how my eyes had been drawn to her breasts and shook my
head trying to clear the thoughts that I knew were not good for me. I
recalled when I was younger my parents would take me to church. The
stories of Sodom and Gomorrah came to mind. How could this be? How could
I be attracted to another woman being a woman myself? The preacher would
tell me I need to confess my heinous sins or forever be sent to
damnation. But I was a man. At least my spirit was.
Anpaytoo embraced me and slowly began washing my back. "You are quiet
this morning. What are you thinking?"
"If I tell you the truth, I'm afraid you'll be offended."
"If you do not tell me the truth, then you keep a secret. Secrets hurt
our spirits and make it hard for us to be happy. If I am offended, I
will be truthful to you, but I will not think less of you."
I bit my lower lip as her hands slid over my backside and carefully
washed my thigh. I realized I'd seen women biting their lower lip before
and wondered how I could be falling further and further into this new
feminine role. "I find you beautiful and..." I hesitated.
"...desirable." Her hands stopped and I knew I had offended her. "I'm
sorry, Anpaytoo."
She gently spun me around to face her. I looked down at the clear cold
water swirling between our bodies, afraid to look her in the eyes.
"Elizabeth was my friend. Nothing more."
"I understand."
"I do not think you do. I loved Elizabeth and she loved me, but our love
for each other was different. She did not find me desirable and she
mourned the loss of her husband. I found her desirable." She paused and
lifted my chin with her fingers so that I was forced to look her in the
eyes. "The eagle spirit works in strange ways. Your vessel was that of a
man and now your vessel is that of a woman. I believe that is why you
may find me desirable."
"My father and preacher would tell me my thoughts are wrong."
"I do not believe your father and preacher have ever been in the same
situation you now find yourself. Your body is beautiful and I also find
you desirable, but you are not Elizabeth and I am not in love with you
like I was her."
Being called beautiful before again made me wonder what I actually
looked like. "That must have been hard for you, to keep your secret from
Elizabeth all that time."
"She knew but allowed me to be her friend. You are shaking. I need to
get you dry and warm."
She led me back to the river bank and used my soiled dress to help dry
me. I put a new chemise on, then a skirt and long sleeved blouse and
tall boots. It felt good not to wear a corset. That was like a torture
device. I watched Anpaytoo walk back to the house. There was no question
I desired her, but she was right. I was seeing her through the eyes of a
man, not through the eyes of a lover. I was grateful for her presence,
patience, and wisdom.
I paused at the entrance to the house and looked across the valley floor
and past the barn. It was beautiful here. I checked the position of the
rising sun and oriented myself. The river meandered south and a day's
ride would take me to Cascade, a small town I'd visited once before. I
looked east and back up to the ridge where we had come from and reminded
myself this was not the time to play house and settle in. We needed to
be prepared. I turned and went inside.
As Anpaytoo prepared food for us I found a mirror beside the bed. My
only glimpse of Elizabeth's face had been brief through the scope of my
rifle. The image reflecting back at me gave me pause. Elizabeth, now me,
was very beautiful. Even with damp hair, the golden strands highlighted
my large bright blue eyes. I'd seen many women before and most had
fleeting looks. This face held a timeless beauty. Full red lips and
straight teeth made my smile enticing. I would catch any man's eye.
Anpaytoo looked up from her work and watched me look at myself. "You are
very pretty, Elizabeth."
"That is frightening to me. I know men that wouldn't think twice to take
advantage of this face and body."
"What women lack in strength of body, they are strong of mind. Do not
ever think you are helpless."
After breakfast Anpaytoo braided my hair and I found a pair of gloves
and a hat. I put on my old belt with holsters and put my pistols into
them. I grabbed my rifle and headed outside. I set up a shooting range
with bits of wood and pinecones. Beginning with the rifle I took a
tentative first shot. The first shot hit its mark but the recoil threw
me back a step and hurt my shoulder and thigh.
"Elizabeth was a good shot with her rifle. We had many meals of rabbit
and wild birds. It is a shame I could not find her rifle or horse after
my tribe was murdered."
I adjusted my stance and made sure the butt of the rifle was resting
against the softer tissue of my shoulder and took a second shot. Again
the bullet found its mark and this time I absorbed the recoil far
better. I set the rifle down and pulled out a pistol and carefully lined
up my shot. I could tell the weight of the pistol in comparison to my
strength was significantly different. Even squeezing the trigger took
far more effort. I flinched as I pulled the trigger in anticipation of
the recoil which drove my bullet into the dirt well away from the
target. The recoil was enough to twist the pistol upwards painfully and
I cried out in pain and grabbed my wrist with my left hand. If I was
ever to shoot pistols again I'd need smaller ones. I holstered the
pistol and sat back onto a stump feeling defeated.
Anpaytoo sat next to me and gently massaged my wrist. "If you feel you
must use these guns then I have some ideas. May I?" She indicated she
wanted to take my pistols from me. I nodded and handed them over to her.
I watched as she took them into the house with her. I didn't see her the
rest of the day but I was busy hobbling around the farm and preparing
defensible positions.
That evening after supper and the delicious smells of dinner drifted
away Anpaytoo placed a heavy bundle into my lap as I sat on the edge of
the bed. I opened the bundle to see my pistols. Gone were the heavy
metal grips and in their place elk antler had been skillfully crafted to
replace them. The pistols weighed significantly less now and would be
easier to lift, yet the recoil would be stronger. In addition to the
pistols there were two heavy leather wrist wraps. Like gloves without
fingers they could be slipped on and tied to add support for the wrists.
I pulled her into a hug. "Thank you, Anpaytoo!"
"Tomorrow, I will leave early in the morning and hunt for game. We are
low on meat."
"I should go with you."
"You already overused your leg too much today and your walking makes too
much noise as you are unbalanced. You must stay and rest. I will be back
by nightfall. There is no sign of the men and we need the food."
I wasn't feeling overly confident or secure without her, but she was
right. I lifted my skirt and my new bandages had fresh blood on them. I
sighed and took her hand in mine and put on a brave face. "You have also
worked hard. Rest with me."
***
The next morning I was surprised to find Anpaytoo already gone. I must
have really needed the sleep and was so deep in sleep when she left I
hadn't even heard her. As it was on the night we were on the trail we
shared body warmth but there was nothing sexual in our time together
last night. I got up and once again went down to the river to bathe. I
knew enough about healing wounds that keeping them tended and clean was
important and I had been enjoying the chance to be free of the heavy
layers of clothing.
I waded out into the river and let the cold water wash the dust from me.
Being alone for the first time I took the opportunity to truly examine
myself. While I was familiar with female parts, I was by no means an
expert. I never married as my job required that I was away often and
that wouldn't be fair to a woman raising a family. Besides, as I could
recently attest to, being a Marshall was a death sentence.
This morning I waded into shallow water and sat on a rock as I washed
myself. I took extra time to examine my breasts and found them to be
extremely sensitive. Gently squeezing the nipples sent pleasurable waves
coursing through my body and caused a warm moistness between my legs. My
new female parts down below were intriguing. Sliding my fingers between
my lips caused me to moan audibly and there was one spot that was so
sensitive I almost fell backwards into the water when I touched it.
Climbing out of the river I had to admit that the extra energy I now
had, my smaller frame that fit better on a bed, the lack of things
dangling and chafing between my legs especially on horseback, the
incredible sensitivity of my body, my increased flexibility, and lack of
constant pain was enough to make me marginally grateful to the eagle
spirit. I bandaged my thigh once again and dressed, but I couldn't
figure out how to braid my hair on my own so I found a strip of cloth
and tied it back into a pony tail. With some breakfast in me, my hat on
my head, and my new lighter pistols on my hips I headed back to my
makeshift firing range.
Using my teeth I tied the new leather wrist supports on, added some thin
leather gloves, and drew my pistol. I could immediately feel the change
of weight and that made it much easier to draw a steady bead on my
target. My first shot went wide but I was pleased the wrist support
worked so well. While there was a little pain, I realized I needed to
let my arm raise more to take up some of the force of the recoil. I shot
a dozen more times with both hands and by the end, if I was not hitting
the targets, I was coming very close. Certainly close enough to hit the
chest of a man.
Throughout the day I rested and watched. I hoped to see Anpaytoo on the
horizon but she had said most likely it would be after dark before she
would return. It was late in the afternoon when I spotted men up on the
eastern ridge. With my scope I could see nine of them. The Clark gang
had found me and it was clear they spotted me as they spurred their
horses towards the farm.
I had a little time and the advantage of having the sun behind me. I
moved into the barn and climbed up the short distance into the loft. By
the time I got myself situated the Clark gang was closing in fast. I'd
tracked them for a long time and knew not to hesitate. I lined up my
first shot on the southernmost rider of their line. I pulled the trigger
and watched the man fall from his horse. They rest of the gang veered
north which is what I was hoping they would do.
They were close now so I targeted a board with rope tying it to the
ground and suspended by a weight in a branch above. My shot was true and
the board shattered causing a weight to drop from the tree and raise
some wire fencing horse-head high across the farm's main gate. I watched
as the first rider's horse ran straight into the wire cutting the neck
of the horse and throwing the rider off into the feet of the horses
behind him. Unfortunately the wire snapped and the remaining gang road
through the gate unhindered.
It was clear they now knew where I was as wood began splintering off the
barn's shingles as they targeted me. I rolled back out of the way and
lined my rifle up on the barn's main door. I heard the men shouting back
and forth.
"The house is clear!"
The door to the barn flew open and the first man to step inside went
down with a bullet to his chest. The other men ran in, guns blazing as
my rifle jammed. I hastily drew a pistol just as a man climbed to the
top of the loft ladder. I fired and watched as his head snapped back.
Suddenly the wooden boards I was lying on erupted with bullets from
below. I rolled quickly but screamed as a bullet tore through my side.
Another bullet grazed my right forearm and I dropped my pistol.
I was face down and gasping for air when I felt rough hands grab my hair
and pull me off the loft. I crashed down onto a pile hay below. I was
roughly rolled over and a gloved hand slapped me hard across my face
then it closed around my throat. I stared wide-eyed into the face of
Daniel Clark. He took one look at me and let go of my throat, reaching
behind me and ripping the cloth from my hair. I tried to get my breath
and reached for my knife when he rolled me over onto my stomach and
pulled my arms tightly together, binding them with the cloth from my
hair. He then rolled me onto my back.
He leaned over me and grabbed my blouse and ripped it and the chemise
from my body. I screamed at the pain from the wound in my side. I knew I
was about to die and thought of the handkerchief I'd left at the side of
the bed this morning. I struggled and thrust my thigh upward between his
legs. I watched as his eyes rolled up into his head but as soon as they
did they rolled back and his eyes fixed on mine with lust and loathing.
"Yur a feisty filly. I like that." His left hand crashed into my face
and I temporarily lost consciousness. When I came to he was still
leaning over me but he had drawn his knife and was trailing it down
between my breasts. With a quick movement he cut through my gun belt and
kicked my legs outside of his. He began unbuckling his trousers and let
them drop around his ankles, his member standing disgusting and firm.
Another quick move and my skirt was torn from my body leaving me naked
and squirming.
He spit to the side leaving some spittle dripping through his unshaven
beard. I thrashed back and forth but with my hands behind my back I was
pinned tight. "Stop yur thrashen, filly." He dropped to his knees and
lined himself up. I screamed and yelled but heard nothing in response
but the cackle of his gang members.
"Git her good Daniel!"
His face came forward as he roughly grasped and pulled at my breast. His
fetid breath and rough beard assaulted me. His lips pressed hard against
mine and I felt pressure between my legs. I bit his lip and tasted the
coppery tang of blood. He yelled and pulled back enough for me to throw
my head forward and collide solidly with his nose with a resounding
crack. Blood dripped from his nose and mouth onto my chest. His fist
connected again with my face causing me to almost lose consciousness. I
could taste my own blood in my mouth but the worst was yet to come.
"Bitch!" He screamed and thrust himself inside me. The violation was so
utterly complete I wept and screamed. Without any arousal or
lubrication, his member tore at me. His body fell upon mine as he thrust
into me. I closed my eyes and cried. He didn't last long and I felt his
wretched seed spill inside of me. He got up and kicked my now bleeding
thigh. He simply turned and walked away. I lay there humiliated and
broken when I felt more hands upon me. I was turned over and my face
pushed into the hay as the next gang member took me from behind. When he
was done three more had their way.
It was dark when I heard them finally retreat from the barn. I was
covered in blood, cut, and bruised all over. I tried to move but I had
nothing left inside me. I now fully understood why Elizabeth had wanted
to give up her spirit. Tears fell from my bloody and swollen eyes. I
shook uncontrollably. Then I heard it. A whoosh of fire as a torch was
thrown into the barn and yelps of laughter as their horses raced away.
Smoke filled my lungs and I could feel the heat of the fire. I yearned
for death to swallow me. How long I lay there I wasn't sure. The sound
of fire filled the night. The neighing of horses and screams of animals
came to my ears. I could feel the fire closing in and all I could do was
await its blessed touch. An eagle's cry sounded and I drifted towards
it.
***
I'd hoped I was dead but fortune or the eagle spirit hadn't smiled upon
me. I screamed in pain as every part of my body came to my awareness at
once. I could still feel Daniel's member tearing me apart. My hands were
free as I thrashed from side to side until I heard her voice singing.
"Elizabeth. It is me, Anpaytoo. You are safe. You must stop screaming
and thrashing about as you are opening your wounds." I focused on her
words. I heard her crying. I tried to speak to tell her to let me die
but my mouth was so dry it wouldn't work. I tried to open my eyes but
they were swollen shut. I whimpered and cried.
***
I have no idea how much time had transpired rather my only knowledge of
time passing was from the tender touches of Anpaytoo and intense pain. I
found I could speak before I could see and my first words were "Please
just let me die." Anpaytoo refused to give in to my words of defeat and
hushed me with warm broth. I thought perhaps it had been three or four
days when my eyes were able to finally open a little and I could see
again. My first sight was of Anpaytoo looking worn and tired. I reached
up to her and grabbed her hand. "You need to rest."
"I will after you are fed and your wounds bandaged again."
"How long?" My voice was still hoarse and my jaw hurt as I spoke.
"Two weeks. You've been recovering for that long. The first week you
stayed unconscious most of the time."
I turned and looked away as the tears fell from my eyes. "How can you
look at me? Why didn't your eagle spirit take me?"
"The eagle spirit would not let you leave if he felt you had more to
accomplish. Do you feel strong enough to tell me what happened?"
I recounted my story but choked when describing being raped five times.
"How can anyone live with this?" My sobs racked my body.
Anpaytoo's gentle touch soothed me. "I have been raped twice. The first
time when I was only twelve years old. A member of another tribe visited
our chief. Our chief wanted to establish good relations so he gave me to
him, telling me that I was to serve the man food. When I went to his
tent he raped me. The next day our chief refused to hear from me what
had happened. The second time was two years ago. I was captured by a
group of four men and they were going to sell me to a brothel. One man
wanted me for himself and ran away with me in the middle of the night.
The next morning he raped me and left me tied to a tree without food or
water. It took me two days to escape the ropes." She held up her wrists
and I could see the faint marks of scars. She continued as my anger
seethed at all men. "You ask how anyone can live with the pain and
humiliation. It never leaves you, but, over time, you can live again."
I managed to roll over on my side as my sobs shook me. As I lay there
with Anpaytoo's hand stroked my hair I thought about my life before. I
avenged the injustices visited upon others but now I felt something else
altogether. I felt a need for revenge. I reached out and grabbed the
handkerchief and squeezed it so hard my palms bled into the silk fabric.
I rolled back over and looked into Anpaytoo's eyes. "It seems like ever
since I've met you you've been taking care of me. Perhaps I'm just a
foolish young woman, but those men are going to pay. They will pay for
what they did to you and your tribe and for what they did to me."
"Do not let revenge take away your life, Elizabeth. We could live at
peace here the rest of our lives."
"I'll be at peace when those monsters are dead and gone and their
spirits have fled this world. If I do nothing I let them do what they
did to you and me again to someone else." I pulled myself to a sitting
position and winced at the pain it caused me. My arms and legs looked
thin and unhealthy. Even after two weeks my bruises were still visible
and I still hurt between my legs. I looked at myself in a mirror and
gasped. My eyes were still swollen and dark and my lips cracked. My hair
was knotted and stringy. I grabbed for some soap and tried to stand only
to collapse back onto the bed.
"If you are determined to do this at least let me get you healthy first.
Let me help you." With that she lifted my arm and placed it around her
shoulder and slipped her other arm around my thin waist. It took every
ounce of strength I had to walk with her to the river, wash, and come
back to bed. She fed me my first solid food in weeks.
***
Over the next few weeks I grew stronger day after day. My bruises were
gone and my gunshot wounds were well healed. My body weight had come
back to more normal levels and I was getting around on my own more and
more. I was helping fix up the farm and cooking meals for us. The house
had been ransacked by the Clark gang and there were many objects broken
that needed to be repaired or replaced. All my weapons had burned in the
fire and the barn was a total loss. One horse was still recovering and
my mare had escaped the blaze by running away but she returned the next
day. There was a wagon that needed some repair and with Anpaytoo's help
I managed to get it working again.
It took two more weeks to recover enough physically that I could do
everything I could before. I wasn't sure I'd ever be emotionally healed.
I felt extremely vulnerable all the time and slight sounds outside the
home, especially at night set me to fright. We needed to get some
supplies and I wanted to speak with the Sheriff in Cascade. I still had
some money from my coin purse that hadn't been discovered by the Clark
gang but it wouldn't be enough for what I had in mind. Anpaytoo led me
to the place that Elizabeth had hidden some gold. It was buried under
some floorboards. Elizabeth had been wise to put aside this gold in case
of emergencies. I took only enough to get what I needed and some
supplies for the house and rebuilding the barn.
Indians were still frowned upon in most towns so it was decided I would
head alone into town the next day with the wagon. I'd have to leave very
early in order to get back before dark. We prepared a list together of
those things we needed and got the wagon ready for the morning.
"I know I've told you thank you before, but I'll never feel I've ever
repaid you enough for saving me and taking care of me."
"There is nothing to repay, Elizabeth. I know you would do the same for
me. Do you blame me for helping the eagle spirit give you a second
chance at life, but being put into a female vessel?"
Her words hung out there. They'd been unspoken up until now. Had I died
that day when I first came upon the Indian camp, I would never have
experienced the pain, suffering, and humiliation of being raped. Yet,
for all the pain I'd been given a chance to live, and hopefully love
again, even if it was not in the way I would have liked it. "I don't
blame you, Anpaytoo. Although the pain I suffered, and still suffer from
is a direct result of being put into the body of a woman, I would have
died otherwise. Four more of the Clark gang are dead because I had that
chance to live, and some small part of me believes that my pain was
worth their deaths. I hope to kill more of them before I die."
I paused and hesitated before speaking more. "Had I not been given this
chance, I would have never met you. I know that I may never be touched
and loved by another person again in this life, but I also know that
I've never been happier, even with all the suffering. It feels good
living here with you. Your nearness brings joy to my heart." That's as
far as I dared speak from my heart. I felt more, but Anpaytoo had made
it clear she did not love me.
Her hand brushed my cheek and pushed away the hair from my face. I
closed my eyes and leaned into her hand and reached up to hold her hand
there. I felt her lips tentatively touch mine. They were soft and moist.
I opened my eyes and pushed aside the words that rattled through my
brain that what just happened was sinful. She took my hand and led me
inside. She was gentle as she whispered to me and carefully removed my
clothing. She had me lie down on the bed and crawled naked into it next
to me. She kissed me again and held me the rest of the night. She knew I
wasn't ready for anything else and I thanked her for that.
***
In the morning and just before the sun rose I got out of bed and got
dressed. I pulled the blanket over Anpaytoo and kissed her forehead. I
slipped away and hitched up the horse and rode south towards town. It
was late morning when I arrived in town and I felt very self-conscious.
This was the first time I had been anywhere near a man since I was raped
and I felt like a frightened deer ready to run away at the slightest
sound. I tied off my horse and headed to the sheriff's office.
"You're Miss Mackenzie. You live up river I seem to recall. I'm Sheriff
Wilson. How can I help you?"
"You're aware of the Clark gang, Sheriff?" He nodded warily. "I was
trading with an Indian tribe northeast of here just over a month ago.
They came and slaughtered the entire tribe and I saw them kill Marshall
Ethan Hammersmith." I tossed my old badge on his desk. "They had left a
few of their gang behind to rape me when Marshal Hammersmith saved me.
He killed three of their gang, but ultimately died of his wounds. I fled
to my ranch but the Clark gang found me there. I killed four of their
gang before I was captured and raped multiple times. They set fire to my
barn leaving me inside to burn to death. I'm asking for your help to
bring the remaining Clark gang to justice."
He raised his eyebrow and spit into a spittoon next to his desk. "I'm
not saying you're lying, Miss Mackenzie, as I've been to the scene of
the massacre and found Marshall Hammersmith's body, but you do not look
like the type to be able to kill four members of the Clark gang."
"Do I need to lift up my blouse and show you the gunshot wounds I
sustained? Do you need to come to my ranch so I can show you the blood
soaked rags I used to clean myself up with? Do I need to show you the
burns that are still healing on my legs?"
He put up his hands. "I'm not saying you weren't attacked, but I
question the truthfulness of your story. These are ruthless men. I'm
sorry, Miss Mackenzie, but I can't help you. There is only me and my
deputy in town and no one here will help us form a posse. Even if what
you said is true, two against five is no good odds. Hopefully they think
you're dead and will never come around again."
"That's not the answer I was expecting coming from a man of the law. You
have a sworn duty to uphold the law and to protect citizens like me."
"I'll not be guilted into going to my death, young lady. If you say you
killed four of them, then be my guest and take them on yourself. Daniel
Clark is worth ten thousand dollars and the rest two thousand apiece.
That's dead or alive. But you and I both know you'd best just hole up
and keep quiet."
I was furious and grabbed the star from his desk waving it at him.
"Marshall Hammersmith was willing to take on the entire gang by himself
to see justice served. Just be prepared to pay up. If it's the last
thing I do, I'll put a stop to these filthy men myself."
"Marshall Hammersmith's bravado put him six feet underground." He leaned
back and chuckled. "If you think going after filthy men will make the
world a better place you'll quickly find there are more than enough to
fill in the void for every one you take out. Good day, Miss Mackenzie."
I spun on my heels and slammed the door behind me. I took a deep breath
before walking across the dusty street to the mercantile. I opened the
creaking door and stepped inside.
"Miss Mackenzie. It's very nice to see you again. How may I help you?"
"I need forty pounds of grain seed, flour, salt, and sugar. I will also
need timber and tools to rebuild my barn that I hope that can be
delivered to my ranch six hours up river. I need that scoped rifle
behind you, the .41 Derringer in your case, and that Colt .45 revolver.
I want two hundred rounds of ammo for the rifle and the revolver, and
fifty rounds for the .41. Oh... That dress in the window? I'd like that
as well. Please."
He frowned and the other ladies in the store looked at me like I was a
lunatic. They started gossiping right away. "Are you planning on
starting a war, Miss Mackenzie?"
"As a matter of fact, I am. Since our Sheriff is too scared to take care
of our vermin problem, I guess I need to take care of it myself." I
dropped my money pouch on the counter. "I'll pull my wagon around for
the other items. Have you seen or heard anything about the Clark gang?"
His eyes went wide. "No, ma'am. But if you really are looking for them,
which I wouldn't suggest, you might consider heading to the town of
Sunset four hours west of here."
"Many thanks, kind sir." I looked at the gossiping ladies and tipped my
head. "Ladies."
***
I was all too anxious to leave town and be as far away as I could get
from the prying eyes of the men there. I've never been stared at and
apparently it was well known Elizabeth was a widower. The men of Cascade
made it very clear they thought I was a good target for their future
conquest.
The ride back was thankfully uneventful and I spent much time
contemplating my next steps. I needed to get into better shape and I
needed to improve my gun handling skills. As I bounced along in the
wagon I was very aware of my body. My long hair blew in the breeze, my
breasts moved with the rhythm of the wagon, and I was aware of a sticky
wetness between my legs.
I stopped momentarily and found I was bleeding from my vagina. At first
I was frightened and then I became very relieved. I was having my first
bleeding. I had been a woman now for almost seven weeks and this was my
first experience. I thought about it before and I'd become increasingly
worried that I might possibly have become pregnant from the Clark gang
rapes. I was by no means an expert and only knew small bits of
information regarding female cycles. I'd been told that women had
bleedings and when those bleedings stopped that it might indicate they
were pregnant.
It was with mixed emotions I wiped myself clean and put a rag between my
skin and my already bloodied chemise to absorb any additional blood. I
was happy to not be pregnant, but now I realized I had to deal with the
bleeding and I was also beginning to feel bloated and have cramps.
"How do women deal with this?"
I climbed back into the wagon and continued on towards the ranch feeling
the rag rather uncomfortable. I emitted a very feminine giggle as I
realized that I had much more between my legs when I was a man and how
I'd already become accustomed to the freedom as a woman.
When I arrived at the ranch Anpaytoo helped me unload the wagon and
noticed that I took a moment to put a hand on my stomach. "You are
having your bleeding?" I nodded, embarrassed. "I will make you some
willow tea to help with the discomfort. She reached into the trunk and
pulled out what looked like a chemise but it was only for covering my
vagina. "She would wear this under her chemise to help absorb the
blood." I nodded and took them from Anpaytoo before heading down to the
river to clean myself up and change.
Upon returning from the river, Anpaytoo handed me some tea and sat me
down on the bed. "You know your bleeding is a good sign?"
I blushed with embarrassment. "If I didn't fully believe I was a woman
before, I certainly do now." I said this with a certainty of my
situation and rather sadly at that.
Realizing I was upset, Anpaytoo held me. "Your bleeding means many
wonderful things. You are not with child by those horrible men. Your
body is healthy enough to have children and no permanent damage has been
done. Do not be ashamed for women are honored by the spirits to bring
life into the world."
***
Over the next three days I struggled keeping my emotions level and drank
lots of willow tea. My emotional ups and downs did help motivate me to
train and practice shooting with my new rifle and pistols. Anpaytoo
designed and made a new belt and holster for my .45 and a thigh holster
for the .41. I was now always wearing them during the day and keeping
the rifle close at hand.
It was the day that my bleeding had finally stopped that the material
for the barn arrived. As them men approached the ranch I made sure that
they could see I was armed and willing to use my guns for protection
should I need to. The materials were unloaded very quickly and the men
were on their way without so much as a backwards glance. I suspected
that they were told I'd gone a little crazy by the town gossips.
Anpaytoo approached me the next morning as I was training with the guns.
"You are determined to seek revenge and I cannot persuade you otherwise.
I can help you grow stronger. In our tribe, we wrestled. I was very good
at it. When you can pin me to the ground, you will be ready."
The thought of wrestling Anpaytoo brought a smile to my face. I was
feeling rather smug as I was in a lot of fights as a man. This was going
to be easy. "Let's make it more interesting. Every day you win, I make
dinner and clean up. When I win, you make dinner and clean up."
"I will enjoy laying back and watching you cook and clean then."
I stripped off my guns and placed them nearby. Anpaytoo stood
confidently. I took hold of her hand in mine and stared into her eyes.
She was beautiful and she was... strong. In moments I was pulled
forward, she lowered her shoulder, let go of my hand and grabbed me
around my thin waist and used my own momentum to lift me over her. I
plopped down on my backside just as she spun around and sat across my
stomach, pinning my wrists to the ground. She smiled and bent down to
kiss me passionately. All at once I felt on fire with passion and
frigidly cold at the same time.
Her hand stroked my cheek as a tear fell from her eyes. "I am sorry,
Elizabeth. You are not ready."
I wiped the tear from her cheek and pulled her down on top of me and
held her tightly. "I'm frightened."
"This is understandable. Time will heal you. What is for dinner?"
I laughed and it felt so good to laugh.
For the next four weeks I found myself cooking every meal and cleaning,
but I was getting stronger and faster. It was several days after my
second bleeding that Anpaytoo and I squared off from each other. She was
so strong and quick that I wondered if I'd ever pin her. This time I
gave it everything I had and after nearly thirty minutes neither ha