His Mothers Diary
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Gretchen's Diary - The Background free porn video
Gretchen's Diary
The Background Story
Hi I am Gretchen. Actually Gretchen Sylvia Fitzpatrick, nee Schmidt. I
know about now you are thinking WTF but you see I started out similar to
many of you Fictionmania readers. I was born male 63 plus years. My story
maybe different than many of yours but I have loved every second of my
life, especially after my now husband Rob came into it. Over the past
almost 40 years I have kept a diary of my life, first at Rob's
insistence, but now because I enjoy pouring out my life and feelings. I
have retained all my diaries over the years and while some of the entries
are short some are very detailed and intimate. My early diaries were all
on paper but over the years I have transferred some of them to the
computer. I just thought it might be of interest to some of you to have a
peek into my life and soul. This first post is more of a basic background
to how I got here.
I was born back in 1953 to a German immigrants. I was an only child and
as both of my parents worked to provide a better life for me I had a lot
of time on my hands alone. It was the around the age of 7 or 8 I snuck
into my parents bedroom and found myself drawn to my mothers dresser. I
picked up a pair of her panties and was instantly drawn to the soft, cool
feel of her nylon tricot panties. I think most of you know how it goes
from there. In retrospect her underwear and for that matter her clothes
was pretty mundane but I was drawn to them. I am sure I looked like a
clown as her clothes as they were too big for me and more suited to a
1950' s housewife but I was in seventh heaven.
I was 13 when my father died of a massive coronary. My mother was
devastated and a lost soul. She took a second job to pay the bills and be
sure I could go to college so I could have a better life than she did. I
had more time of my hands and her clothes became my pastime, hobby, and
obsession. I was never caught and she never said a word to me but
something tells me she knew but crossdressing was a taboo subject back
then.
Yes I did go to college. It was just before the end of my junior year my
mother passed away. They said it was high blood pressure that cause her
death but I have always maintained it was a broken heart. As I worked
through all of affairs I discovered my parents had put away a nice nest
egg. I was far from rich but there was enough there to assure I could
finish school and have a start on life afterwards. I cleaned out the
house I got rid of much of it but I kept many of Mom's clothes. I was
taller than her but at 5'7" and 140 pounds I was far from a manly man.
I graduated from college and got a job as a junior high Math teacher.
What would you expect from a bachelors degree in mathematics and no money
to get a post grad degree. By then my dressing pretty much consumed my
non working hours and many a night I would be seated at my kitchen table
in a corduroy skirt, knee high platform boots with a chunky 4" heel, and
my Farrah Fawcett look alike wig grading tests. You have to remember this
was 1976 and the style of the time.
As time went on I felt choked by the 4 walls of my small apartment and
wanted to explore. I had a ground floor apartment with a door that opened
onto the parking lot. I remember that first step into the world like it
was yesterday. It was November 1977 and probably 10PM but I walked to my
car, my purse firmly in my hand, and took a short drive to mail some
bills.
I had on my green corduroy gauchos with the matching vest and brown knee
high boots and of course the long platinum blonde shag wig. I was shaking
like a leaf as I drove to the post office but somehow I managed to safely
get there, put my mail in the box, and get home. My heart was racing and
I was breathing heavily as I closed the door behind me. I did it! Little
did I know that once you open the door and go through it there is no
going back.
It was about that time I also discover adult book stores and soon after
the TV magazines and books they carried. As a lot of you at one time felt
after I was the only one in the world with the love of women's clothes. I
got over the fact and soon I bought and read them from cover to cover. I
was hooked! It wasn't long, just a few months I worked up the courage to
go the bookstore dressed. That lead to the adult theaters and discovering
the joys of pleasuring and being pleasured by a man. I was in heaven!
It was at an adult theater I met Cindy. She was like me and we competed
for men and their prize but we became friends. I remember the first she
asked me my name and I blurted my given name and she laughed and told me
I needed one to match how I looked. I went home a little sad but over the
next few days I thought about what she has said and wondered what my
parents would have named had I been a girl. They loved their new country,
even becoming American citizens, but their were proud of their heritage.
I thought about and remembered my mother telling me of her mother, my
grandmother who I never knew, and how her name was Gretchen. That was it,
I was Gretchen! It was later on I added Sylvia as my middle name. Sylvia
was my mother's name.
Cindy loved my name and over the next few months we became friends and
Cindy and Gretchen spent a lot of time together in spite of our age
difference. I was barely 25 and she was 40. It was her that helped me
perfect my look and introduced me to the catalogs for crossdressers. Soon
I had a proper set of breastforms so I no longer had to stuff my bra with
socks. I loved the weight and the way the moved when I walked. From there
it was a padded panty girdle and a waist cincher so I now looked even
more feminine.
It was Cindy who first learned of Golddiggers from one of her regulars.
Golddiggers was a drag bar and on Saturday nights where the girls like us
hung out. It was May 1978 that first time we went. I remember almost
fainting tat first night at the show, the other transvestites (remember
this was 1978 and that is what we were called) and even more so what we
learned were all the men, the tranny chasers we learned they were called.
Needless to say Cindy and I quickly became regulars and went almost every
Saturday night. By this time Cindy and I were more than just friends but
we soon started taking advantage of the availability of fresh meat before
us at Golddiggers. The more experienced girls explained we offered
"services" their wives or girlfriends shunned so there ws never a
shortage of companionship.
It was early fall he walked into the bar. He was tall and good looking
and even though he looked more Cindy's age than mine there was something
that drew me at him. I smiled at him as he walked past on his way to the
bar and recrossed my legs allowing the slit in my dress to reveal a good
deal of my thigh. I saw him talking with the bartender for a few minutes
before the drink appeared in front of me compliments of the gentleman in
the tan sport coat. I held the drink up and smiled at him as he looked
over.
He came over to the table where I was sitting with a couple of other
girls and introduced himself as Rob. I asked him to join us and he pulled
up a chair and we talked. I learned he was 36 ( I was 25), a lawyer, and
divorced a year. I also found out he was an excellent dancer and even at
5'7" and in 4" heels his 6'3" frame towered over me.
It was that night I learned the difference between being fucked and being
made love to. It was a total epiphany and a life changing event that
evening. It only took a few weeks and Rob became a regular. I became know
around the bar as Rob's girl and off limits, something both Rob and I
enjoyed.
Fast forward over a year and a half and my how my life had changed. Rob
and I went to the bar just about every Saturday night. We went together
because I was now spending just about every weekend at his place as
Gretchen. I couldn't wait for Friday nights to race home, change and get
to his place. I had a very nice wardrobe at his place and he had gone as
far as buying me a vanity for my make up and a desk where I could correct
homework and tests. He did insist though if I was going to do my teacher
thing I dress appropriately in a skirt and blouse or dress and heels,
something I loved as I was starting to wish I could do 7 days a week,
Rob were cuddling at his place after making love one Friday evening.
School would be out for the summer next week and he teased me about being
a lady of leisure for the summer. I started to unload on him, telling him
I wish I could quit. He asked why and I explained the are where the
school was starting to change and more and more I ws faced with students
who were just there because the had to be. Gone for the most part were
students who wanted to learn and they were replaced by students quite
content to walk away with a C-, the minimum passing grade.
He looked at me and said "Just quit!"
"Oh yea, like jobs are teaching jobs are growing on trees," I laughed.
"And just what the hell am I going to do for money?"
"Move in me with me Gretchen," he smiled and gave me a kiss.
"And how is that going to work?" I replied. "Two guys Monday from Friday,
a girlfriend on the weekend?"
"Not at all," he said. "I said move in with me Gretchen. I don't know you
as anyone except but Gretchen and its her I want with me. I can't tell
you how empty I feel when I wake on Monday mornings alone in bed."
"I know what you mean, I feel the same way." I sighed. "But my question
is how?"
"Don't worry your pretty little head about that," he smiled and brushed a
few stray hairs from my face. "Let me handle the details."
"I ah, I still don't know," I said. "It sounds lovely but how do we know
that we can handle each other 7 days a week? It is a hell of a difference
between playing dress up and house on the weekends and 24 hours a day, 7
days a week."
"How about a trial run," he smiled. "Let's try it this summer with no
commitments. I will even pay your rent for the summer. Why don't you
sleep on it and we can talk about on Sunday."
"OK."
I slept like a baby those next two nights and I agreed to a trial of the
summer when we talked Sunday afternoon over dinner. Gretchen moved in
that next weekend, I really didn't take much with me but a few summer
clothes as I had everything else I needed already at Rob's. I have to
admit the summer was fun. I loved being a girl 24/7, going out, doing
girly things, and had even made and had even made friends with a couple
of the women in the neighborhood, I was not sure if any of them surmised
the secret tucked in my panties but no one ever let on.
June became July became August and it was soon two weeks to school
beginning. We were both well aware of that and what was I going to do
loomed over us. It was a Saturday afternoon and we were sitting on the
back deck with a bottle of wine.
"When does school start Gretchen?"
"A week from Tuesday and you know that," I said. "The date is circled on
the calendar in the kitchen.'
"Yes I know," he sighed. "But that also raises a question?"
"I know and I have still have questions as to how," I said.
"Anything is possible if you want it enough Honey and I think we both
want it," he said.
"We do but ..."
"No buts Gretchen, just let me handle it," he smiled as he placed his
hand on mine. "You trust me don't you?"
"You know I do," I smiled.
"Good then its settled," he smiled.
I turned in my letter of resignation the first day of school. I offered
to stay until they could find a replacement but they say I was not needed
anymore. I suppose in a way it was a bit of a letdown being told you were
needed but by that weekend I had donated away pretty much everything that
wasn't Gretchen's and had moved into my new home with Rob.
The first few months were like heaven. Rob had hooked me up with a friend
of his who was a doctor, a gynecologist of all things and insisted I get
a thorough physical. I have to admit it was quite embarrassing having him
examine my nether regions while covered by only a hospital gown and my
feet in the stirrups. I did though think this could be fun if it were Rob
down there. I left that night after he took what seemed like a gallon of
blood with 3 prescriptions.
I had the prescriptions filled the next day and took them religiously. I
was never told what they were exactly but judging by the emotional train
ride I went on within a couple of weeks I surmised it was a regimen of
female hormones. It took about 4 months and the swelling and discomfort
in my chest confirmed my suspicions.. The fact my testicles were starting
to draw back into my body and my penis was smaller, not that it had ever
been anything to be proud of.
My Valentines Day gift from Rob was feminizing facial surgery, They
softened my jaw line as well as giving me a cute turned up nose. A few
months later ny gynecologist performed an orchidectomy as well as a
trachea shave to eliminate my Adam's apple and a tweak on my vocal
chords. It was two weeks before I was allowed to speak but when I did it
was obvious I was never going to be a soprano. It was more of that husky
sexy Kathleen Turner voice but definitely feminine.
Rob had definite ideas as to what his ideal woman looked like and had no
problems explaining them. We got an exercise cycle and I rode it
faithfully everyday wearing one of my leotards and tights. It didn't do
much to trim my still larger stomach but soon I had muscular and full
thighs. Rob found the look sexy and I wanted to do everyday I could to
please him. I have no idea how he did it but my Valentines day present
was a packet of documents including a birth certificate for Gretchen
Sylvia Schmidt, My birth date and all the information were the same as my
original one. There was also a Social Security card for Gretchen Sylvia
Schmidt with a new Social Security number. From that I got a drivers
license for Gretchen. Armed with that We went to the bank where we opened
a joint checking account and within a matter of a few months the wallet
in my purse contained credit cards in the name of Gretchen S Scmidt Rob
had ordered them for his girlfriend.
My birthday that year was yet more surgery. This time they used lipo
suction to suck most of the fat from my stomach, just leaving enough give
me a little tummy bulge. That excited me until I learned they injected
the fat they ahd just evacuated from me was injected into my hips and
butt! Rob loved that pear shape so many women had and by the time I
healed I had it. I had to admit that with my now small B sized breasts I
looked like a typical woman. Was not a happy girl with my new figure at
first but when I saw happy Rob was with the results I learned to live
with it. At least now I could leave the waist cincher and padded panties
in the drawer but it was obvious I was going to wear control top
pantyhose for the rest of my life and with certain outfits I may have to
swallow my pride and wear a girdle.
Well ladies, that gets you to my ripe old age of 28. Is there an interest
in reading more about my life and some of my diary? I leave it to you.
Drop me a note or post some comments if you want more.
Vicky
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