A Sissy Fantasy - A Day And Night With Daddy free porn video

A Sissy Fantasy - A Day And Night With Daddy Daddy's Cocksucking Princess I awoke after falling asleep after last night's escapades, and the first thing I I notice is the chastitiy, it immediately reminds me of what happened last night. I wasnt expecting to be put in chasitity last night, Daddy had hinted at it, but I did not think he was have me in it so soon. I did not really want to have my clitty locked up like that, but I really want to please Daddy, so of course I agreed to it. I would have probably agreed to being castrated last night, I wanted so bad for Daddy to make me his sissy girl. I want to be his real girl, but he keeps reminding me that I am really a boy trying to be a girl, and that makes me a sissy "girl". I had my pink babydoll on and a pair of pink panties that had little hearts all over them. Both were a gift from Daddy last night, so I had something new to wear for him. Daddy must have noticed me stirring or was waiting for me to wake up because he was lying there looking at me. "Good morning my sweet little sissy girl," he said smiling. "My princess must have been worn out I didnt think you would ever wake up." "Good morning Daddy," I said. The words still sound kinda weird too me. This is only the 3rd man I have ever been with and the first two were sissies like me, both I gave and recieved bj's from, and one of them fucked me, which was my first time. And compared to Daddy he had a small dick, not as small as mine, it made mine look tiny in comparison, like Daddy's makes mine look like the little clitty it is. And now, I dont know when I will actually see my clitty again, being stuck in its cage. I am suprised at myself for how easily I gave in, I really didnt even protest. Suprising what a sissy will do for her Daddy isnt it? "Well sweetheart I hope you enjoyed last night, Daddy did," he said. "Daddy wants to give his sissy girl her breakfast, come and kneel before Daddy," he said grinning. I give Daddy a little smile and kneel before him. I know what he wants me to do, the quip about breakfast was a huge hint ya know, and it is made more obvious since Daddy's cock is straining in his pajama bottoms. I pull down the front of his pajama bottoms and pull out his cock. It is already starting to leak precum, which I lick off of the tip of his cock without even thinking. "Ohh I think my little sissy boy wants her breakfast," he chuckles. "Just a min, I know you want to be Daddy's cocksucking princess, but first Daddy wants you to beg for his cock" "Pwease Daddy can I suck your cock, I am hungry," I say. "Daddy will give you his cock if you say 'Daddy even though I am only a sissy and not a real girl, can I please be your cocksucking princess?'," Daddy says mischeviously. "You have to look Daddy right in the eyes when you do ok sweetie." "Daddy even though I am only a sissy and not a real girl, can I please be your cocksucking princess?" I ask looking into Daddy's eyes like he asked. Saying these words filled me with so many diffrent feelings and thoughts. There was the obvious feeling of submission. Being on my knees asking Daddy if I can be his sissy cocksucking princess really adds to the submissive feeling, and on top of that, he made me say that I am not a girl, only a boy acting like one. This makes me painfully aware I am a boy pretending to be a girl, it both humiliates me and excites me. Not to mention that little part of you that is always loathing the sissy things you do. Then when it all of that hits you, along with the fact that you are really on your knees in front of a man dressed like a girl, and begging him to let him suck your cock, it is enought to make your head swim, not to mention confuses you. "Thats right sweetie, you are not a real girl, you are a boy who likes to dress and act like a girl. No matter how hard you try, you will always be a boy pretending to be a girl. You will do anything to please Daddy, just so Daddy will pretend you are a girl, wont you?" he says as he uses his foot to knock around my locked clitty. "Yes Daddy," I reply. "Of course you would my little sissy girl," he says smiling. "Keep that up and Daddy will treat his sissy girl like the real girl he wants to be for his Daddy. Ok my cocksucking sissy princess open up, time for your breakfast." I reach out and wrap my fingers around his cock and guide it to my mouth. I take the head into my mouth and run my tounge around it. I can taste his precum and it gets me excited. Daddy told me once that he likes it when I gag a little on his cock, so I always make sure to go as deep as I can. I need to practice anyway, I really want to be able to deep throat him with out gaging, but that is going to take time and practice. Nothing wrong with that, I have a feeling I will have fun practicing. I go deep and gag, go deep and gag, do that for a little while, then I need a quick break from it to breathe. I lick on the head of the cock a little bit, like I would a lolipop, the whole time staring up at Daddy, partialy so I can see if he is enjoying himself, but mostly because Daddy want me to look him in his eyes while I have his cock in my mouth. He says he wants to see the shame in his sissy's eyes. He has said that it is written all over my face at times that I must feel ashamed or something because men dont dress up as girls to suck cock, only sissy boys do, even most gay men dont wear panties and dresses. I am not ready to gag again yet, so I gently stroke him with my hands and take his balls into my mouth. They taste a little salty from sweat, but Daddy's appoving sounds urges me on. "Good girl, Daddy sure loves it when you suck on his balls like that. At this rate you will be Daddy's little cocksucking princess. But practice makes perfect. Daddy is getting close, you better put it back into your mouth." I drop his balls from my mouth and go back to trying to deep throat his cock. While I have his cock in my mouth, I feel Daddy's hands on the back of my head pulling me into his cock. He is shoving it in deeper than I was going, making me gag even more. "Ok sissy girl, I want to look into your eyes while I cum into your mouth," Daddy says. I look up into his eye, and I keep sucking on his cock. Suddenly I feel his cock swell in my mouth and he starts spurting his cum in my mouth. I am suprised at the amount, more of a mouthful than I expected. "Ok sissy, dont swallow my cum yet. I want you to hold it in your mouth until I say swallow. Open your mouth so I can see the cum in my cocksucking princess's mouth," Daddy commands. I open my mouth to show him the load of cum. I can feel it on my tounge and sliding a little down the back of my throat. Its salty and a little bitter. "Thats my baby girl. Good job, you may swallow your breakfast," he says laughing. I swallow and say, "Thank you Daddy." "You are welcome sissy girl, now go take a quick bath and when you are done come back to the bedroom, Daddy has another gift for his little sissy girl." ... Maid for Daddy I am relaxing the bath for a few mins, the warm water feels good on my skin, and the bath oil Daddy got me smells so good, like lilacs, I love that smell. Thoughts of last night and this morning are running through my head. I can still taste Daddy's cum in my mouth, and remembering Daddy's cock entering me while my ankles were on his shoulders has me horny as hell. My clitty keeps trying to get hard in its cage, and it is starting to hurt a little. I really wish I could rub my clitty for awhile, I am so horny. I guess though this is the reason why Daddy has locked my clitty away. He keeps telling me In order for me to be a good girl I should forget about touching myself like that, and should focus on cumming like a real girl from penetration. I hope that his present for me is allowing me to cum, or at least a good pounding so I cum like a girl again. Last night was amazing, cumming without touching my clitty just like a real girl. I start to get excited to see what my present is, so I finish up my bath, dry off and put on the pink robe Daddy had waiting for me, and walk into the bedroom where Daddy was waiting. "I hope my baby girl feels all rested and clean now. I bet you are wondering what your present is dont you?" Daddy asks. "Ohh yes Daddy please," I said. He motions over to the bed and throws back the covers to reveal his present. It was a beautiful pink maids dress with pretty little pink ribbons all over it, complete with petticoat, which only serves to make sure my panties will be visible, the dress wasnt long enough to begin with, with the petticoat its even shorter. There was a pink garter belt with pink stockings with lace tops. He also had a pair of pink rhumba panties with lace around the leg holes and the waist. There also was a pair of pink high heels, a pink choker with a metal tag on it that said Sissy, and a pink vibrating butt-plug. "This is your uniform, you are going to be Daddy's maid today. I want you to make breakfast, and then clean the house," Daddy said. "Ok sissy bend over the bed so I can put your butt-plug in." I walked over to the bed, took off the robe and bent over the bed. I felt the cold drops of a little lube then I felt his finger going into my hole, wiggleing it around, then another finger joins the first. After he worked my hole open a little bit he lubed up the butt-plug and started to work it into my bottom. In a matter of seconds it was in place, he gave the plug a couple of pats and wiped away any excess lube. "All right sissy I bet you feel better now that you have something inside your pussy like that," he chuckled. He hands me the stockings and garter and I put them on. The feeling of the stockings running up my shaved legs sends ripples through my body like electricity. He then picks up the panties off the bed holds the open and says "Ok sissy boy step into your pretty pink panties like a good girl." I step into the panties like he said and he pulls them up, and then reaches inside the back of them , pulls out the plug and pushes it in repeating that a few times. It felt great, my head started swooning and I just about fell onto the bed. "Oh my, does my little sissy girl like it when Daddy plays with his pussy like that?" he asks. "Yes Daddy I do, it feels really good, not as good as Daddy's cock though," I say. Daddy laughs and says, "I think my little sissy loves her Daddy's cock doesnt she. If she does good enough job today, Daddy just might give her what she wants. Ok finish getting ready and Make us some breakfast." ... Im in the kitchen working on making some breakfast, just going to keep it simple and do some scrambled eggs and hashbrowns. Every time I move I can feel the butt-plug, chastity, the petticoats and dress moving, constantly reminding me of how I am dressed, reminding me of just what I am doing. Thoughts in my mind float from arousal and happiness, to a little trepidation and a feeling of surrealism. It is like I am hyper aware of being exposed, dressed as a girl, serving as a maid for a man, with a butt-plug and in chastity no less. The conflicting feelings seemingly enhance the feelings of exposure, humiliation, arousal and submission. It also is serving to keep exciting my clitty locked in its cage, its a little painful, and really adds an exclamation point to the situation. When I bend over to get something from the the lower cupboard, I feel so exposed, I can feel the air on my legs, and my pantied bottom, can feel the butt-plug move. It is so electrifying, it's effect on me is intense. I feel lightheaded, there is a little tightness in my chest, my heart is fluttering, and on top of that I can feel Daddy's eyes watching me. Dressing up in private is one thing, you may feel these things alone in your room or house, but doing it in front of someone, FOR someone, changes the dynamic. It is like everything I have felt before while doing similar things, by more intense by a factor of a magnitude. I bend over again and I hear Daddy start to chuckle. Suddenly I feel the butt- plug start to vibrate, the feeling of it is far more intense than I expected, and my knees buckle slightly forcing me to grab hold of the counter to steady myself. "Caught you by surprise didnt I baby girl. Daddy has a remote for that plug in your bottom, he can turn it on and set it how ever he wants when he wants," he says laughingly. I smile shyly at him and try to continue working on breakfast, in a vain attempt to take my mind off of my constant arousal. The vibration of the plug makes my clitty strain in my chastity cage. You would think that the discomfort of the chastity would help reduce the arousal, but it doesnt, instead it just adds to it. It is like being in an echo chamber, it just enhances the feelings of submission, arousal, humiliation, femininity, and exposure. All those feeling just feed off of each other, and in a state of hyper excitement, all you want is release. I need to orgasm now, to release all this pressure building inside of me. And I know Daddy has no intention of letting that happen. It hasnt even been 2 hours yet since I woke up, and I already feel as though I am going to burst. Doesnt help that I woke up already aroused, and Daddy has been doing everything he can to make it worse. Breakfast is almost ready, and I start to set the table. Reaching up into the cupboard I can feel the dress move up, making me feel even more exposed. I set the table and dish out the food and I accidentally knock a fork off the table and bend over to pick it up. "That is a good sissy girl, giving his Daddy a good look at her panties. Stay like that just a moment for Daddy," he says. SMACK, I feel Daddy's hand smack my pantied bottom, first one cheek than the other, does this a couple of times, each time seemingly a little harder. It stings a little, but what gets to me the most is the added feeling of submission and exposure. I then feel the vibrating intensity of the plug increase. Daddy slowly pulls down the back of my panties, and works the plug in and out of my bottom. This serves to maximize the feelings of submission and exposure, not to mention feels so good. I even start to choke back a few moans of pleasure, and again feel my clitty straining in its chastity cage. "Seems my little sissy girl loves to have things in his bottom. I can tell my baby girl really loves it, the cute little moaning sounds you make give it away. Not to mention that look on your face. Is that why you want to be a girl for Daddy? To have Daddy put things in your bottom? Your not a gay man, no man would dress like that, and we both know you are not a real girl, that makes you a sissy," he said chuckling. I cant help but blush at hearing this. It is all true, I love it, there is no way to hide that fact. It is true that I am not a real girl no matter how much I want to be. Dressed in a maids uniform wearing panties even girls think are too girly, makes it impossible to say I am a man. I know that I am just a boy pretending he is a girl, a sissy. I have accepted that fact, still, it is hard not feel humiliated and emasculated at it being spelled out for you. Even worse, the fact that it turns me on to be emasculated and humiliated, is itself a huge source of the emasculation and humiliation. I take my seat at the table next to Daddy and we have our breakfast. ... After finishing breakfast, I get up to work on cleaning up. While we were eating Daddy shut off the vibration in my bottom, which is good, because the wet spot on the front of my panties has grown greatly. It seems like it never stops dripping, at this rate I will have to change my panties in a little while, although I expect Daddy will want me to stay in my wet panties. I am actually looking forward to working on cleaning and whatever else needs to be done, I hope that it will take my mind off of things for awhile and maybe give me a break from being so on edge. As soon as I start moving again, I realize how impossible it will be for me to take my mind of off things, the rustling of the dress, the feeling of the chastity, the plug in my bottom and the over all exposure constantly keep me aroused and aware. There is no ignoring, if I forget about the plug for awhile I feel the chastity, if I dont feel that I feel the dress, stocking and panties, if I dont feel at least one of those things (which never seems to happen, something always seems to grab my attention and make me focus on it) I catch a glimpse of all the pink surronding me either when I look down or in a reflective surface. No matter what, I am constantly aware, and constantly aroused. While it is true, a large part of me is loving it, it doesnt change how uncomfortable it is. Daddy says he was going to go and relax in the living room, and that I should come in after I finished cleaning up in the kitchen. I wash and dry the dishes, wipe off everything, and then take a few moments to take a deep breath and try to settle down a little. I dont know if there is anything that I can do to actually reduce the clamoring, discordant feelings that are racing around me. If you have ever spent a couple of hours edging while looking at porn or something , you might have an idea how it feels, only this is more intense than I have ever felt before. I really dont know how I can make it through the day like this, much less longer than that. By the way Daddy keeps talking, he plans on making me go days if not weeks before he will allow my clitty out so I can rub it to relief. Of course there is always a chance that Daddy could pound me till I have a "sissygasm", which I really hope happens. That is the reason for all of this anyway isnt it? The denial and teasing, the clothes, the plug, the chastity, all to increase the need for release making the orgasm that much more potent. It also is about forcing me as a sissy to orgasm through anal penetration rather than rubbing on my clitty, thus helping feed the illusion that I am a girl, which is something that I desire. I walk into the living room, trying my best to walk as girlishly as possible, I am not that use to wearing high heels and my feet hurt a little, and I stumble a little while walking. The heels make my bottom stick out a little, it feels a little weird, in that I feel so much more exposed like this. It really feels like my pantied bottom is just hanging out there, which it is, the dress does not cover them really at all. Daddy is sitting on the couch and watching me walk in. Under his gaze I feel even more exposed, and I noticed him chuckling a little watching me stumble a little walking in the high heels, the plug in my bottom doesnt help neither. "Daddy sees his little "girl," (he stresses the word girl) needs practice walking in high heels, he looks more like a boy trying to walk in high heels, need to do better if you want to be Daddy's girl," he said. "Ok Daddy I will try harder," I reply. Its weird, everytime Daddy reminds me that I am not a real girl, just a boy pretending, it excites me more, not less. You would think breaking the illusion of being a girl would be detrimental, but instead it serves to make me even more excited. It is confusing, I know I should not like this, any of this, but I do, alot. I mean I really really like this alot. It is not really normal is it? I mean I know there are others like me, at least I do now, thank you internet. Still I dont personally know many, maybe a couple, and those I found on the internet. There is always that part of you that is almost if not actually disgusted at yourself for doing the things you are doing. It becomes less and less over time, as you do more and more, but still, between societal restraints in general, from your friends and family, people you work with, society in general, you are constantly reminded that what you are doing is abnormal, at least in other people terms. The trick is to not care about what other people think is normal, who has the right to say what should be considered normal anyway? There is some hope, there is growing acceptance in the world for people like me, there is a long long way to go yet, but at least there is progress. "You make a pretty sissy maid," Daddy says. "Now Daddy wants you to dust with the feather duster then vacuum here in the living room." "Yes Daddy," I reply as I pick up the feather duster and start dusting the pictures on one of the walls. Reaching up to the top of the pictures hanging on the wall further I can feel the dress slide even higher, exposing even more of my panties. Once again that feeling of being exposed, of being watched by Daddy, wash over me. I feel lightheaded and anxious from feeling exposed, and aroused of course. That is not saying much, since I dont think I have not been super aroused since last night. Even after making cummies last night, it was a matter of minutes before I was getting excited again. Daddy took that moment to turn the vibration back on in my bottom, and it sent waves of pleasure through my body. As well as some discomfort as my clitty strains in its cage. Its enough to make my knees want to buckle again as the waves of pleasure run through my body like electricity. I cant help but let out a little moan of pleasure, and I know there is a look of almost bliss on my face. I can feel my clitty leaking, the wet spot in my panties now twice the size it was before. "By the sounds and look of things my little sissy girl is really excited cleaning , and showing off his panties to Daddy," he says laughing. "Looks like she has wet her panties with all the excitement. When you are done cleaning in here, maybe Daddy will get his baby girl something dry to wear. Would you like that princess?" "Yes Daddy, I would like some dry panties to put on," I reply. "Panties huh?" he chuckles. "Imagine that my little sissy girl wants panties, we will have to wait and see." I finish dusting, and was glad to be done, all the reaching and moving my arms was increasing the sensations from feeling the fabric move on my skin. I have always found that intoxicating, the feel of the smooth light material on my skin, most sissies will tell you it was that feeling that got them into girls panties to begin with. That feeling of them sliding up your legs, and the feeling of it against you bottom and clitty. How we would swish and twirl, anything to induce that feeling of the fabric rubbing against our skin. Then there is that feeling of how it is taboo, a forbidden pleasure that as a male we were not suppose to do, much less enjoy. I know that is what kept me wearing panties time and time again since I was very young. Next comes the vacuuming, which I am kinda dreading , the constant moving back and forth will have my dress moving on my skin some more. I start to vacuum, the plug still vibrating in my bottom, and every time I move forward and back with the vacuum I can feel the plug moving a little. The forward and back motion also gets my caged clitty to bounce a little in my panties, drawing attention once again to itself, and all the feelings associated with having my clitty in a cage. I really wish I could just rub my clitty a little bit right now, or at the very least let it out of its cage to stretch so to speak. I finish vacuuming in the living room and put the vacuum back in its place. "Im done with that now Daddy, what would you like me to do," I ask. "You make a good sissy maid baby girl, since you done such a good job, lets get you something dry to wear," Daddy says as he gets up and motions me to the bedroom. "Ok sweetie, hike up your dress a little and lay down on the bed, and close your eyes," Daddy says. I walk over to the bed, hike up my dress a little, lie down on the bed and close my eyes as Daddy commands. I hear Daddy rustling something, sounds like he is moving something plastic. After a couple of moments, I feel Daddy's hands grabbing my panties and I lift my bottom a little so he can slide them off. The last time something like this happened, Daddy had claimed me as his sissy girl, and thoughts of last night rushed into my head. Remembering what happened last night caused me to get even more excited. I could feel my clitty straining, and leaking some more. I was hoping Daddy was going to do it again. When Daddy told me to lift up my legs, I thought is this it? I felt his hand on the butt-plug, and he pulled it out, I got so much more excited anticipating what came next. I felt his fingers on my bottom, lubing it up again, but instead of Daddy's cock, the plug when back in. He pulled it out again and put it back in, doing that a few times making me moan in pleasure. Then he stops, leaving the plug in. I then feel him grab my ankles and pull up, lifting my bottom of the bed, and I feel him slide someting under me, and then lowered my bottom back onto the bed. Next I feel something dropping onto my clitty and balls, it feels like some kinda of powder, and then I get a whiff of it, its baby powder. I have always found the smell of baby powder intoxicating, and I have had an attraction to wearing diapers since I was a very young child. I never grew out of it. Thats when It hit me, I knew what Daddy was doing, he is going to put me in a diaper. ," Since my baby girl cant seem to stop her clitty from drooling in her panties, Daddy is going to have to put her in diapers so she doesnt make a mess out of her panties. Now once this diaper goes on, you cant remove it until I say so. If you have to go to the bathroom you have to ask Daddy first. If you can keep them dry, then maybe Daddy will let you be a big girl again and wear panties. Until then your my baby sissy girl. Now you can open your eyes, Daddy wants you to watch as he tapes the diaper on you," he says. I open my eyes and watch as he pulls the diaper over my clitty and tapes me inside the diaper. He gives the front of the diaper a couple of pats right on my caged clitty and gives me a a smile. He then holds up a pair of plastic panties. They are pink, with lace ruffles around the waste band and leg holes, and have lace ruffles across the back of them. There is a small chain that runs through the waste and I can see a lock on them. He slides them up my legs and as I lift my bottom up he pulls them up in place. He then draws the little chain tight and puts the lock in place. "Now my little baby girl is all nice and snug in her diapers and cute plastic panties. If you have to go to the potty come and tell Daddy, I put the lock on you to make sure you have to ask. Now Daddy wants you to thank him for putting you in your nice dry diaper and out of your wet panties." "Thank you Daddy for putting me in my nice dry diaper," I reply. Ok so I am not sure just how more submissive I can be. It is like a feeling of surrendering, which in a way is very freeing. The last 24 hours have been so surreal. It strikes me at this moment I will do almost anything to keep this going. As uncomfortable as I feel some times, there are always moments when the different parts of you fight each other. There seems to be two parts of me attracted all things feminine, there is that male attraction to the feminine, but there is also the other attraction, the one that has you wearing panties and dresses, and acting like a girl. On the one hand, there is that base male instinct that attracts you to female, on the other it is some other instinct that tells you deep down inside you are the female. I am neither male nor female, yet both. The male chromosome is XY after all, it even suggests this duality. I imagine that this has some influence on my seemingly fluidity of gender. This is not the only conflicting emotions or thoughts I have neither. There is almost a conflict between two diffrent personas. There is my masculine persona which is inherently not feminine and is very uncomfortable to even disgusted in a way at what my feminine persona does. I have tried repeatedly in the past to banish my feminine persona, but it never ever worked, it always came back, and I always went further and further. Eventually I stoped resisting and now am embracing it, it seems too strong for my masculine persona to hold off. It just adds to the confusing nature of my sexuality. This all flashes through your mind in a matter of moments, but you know it is written all over your face. The shame and disgust, combined with pleasure and submission, with the added humiliation is etched all over your face. Daddy watches for those moments you see, I think he knows my mind maybe even better than I know it. I suspect that part of the pleasure he gets is the pleasure of knowing that I am fighting these confliction of emotions and thoughts for one reason and one reason only, to be his sexual object. The fact that I am willing to submit completely to him just to get my thrills, to give him control is why he does it. At the same time he gets to satisfy all his sexual desires, since I will do almost anything. "Okay baby girl, I want you to do the laundry in my clothes hamper, and clean the bathroom for me," Daddy says. "When you finish Daddy will be on the couch." "Yes Daddy," I answered. Daddy helps me up off the bed, and I can hear the crinkle of the diaper and plastic panties. The feeling of exposure is intense, as is the arousal, I am not sure how much more emasculated I can get. A dress so over the top girly, even girls think its too girly. Check. Locked in chastity. Check. Pleasing a man sexually. Check. Now locked into a diaper. Check. Realization after one look at myself that there is nothing masculine left really. Check. To complete it all a realization that no matter what you do, you still still just a boy who is preteneding. Check. As I get off the bed all the diffrent stimulations hit me one after another, and all at the same time. The the effect from just wearing feminine clothes, the sight of all the pink frillies, the feel of the fabric. The chastity cage that serves as a constant reminder of how far you will go to allow your self to be emasculated. The butt-plug, the feeling of being filled, reminding you of Daddy's cock. The diaper, the sound it makes when you move, the feeling of having a dry diaper wrapped around you and the snugness of the leg and waist bands of the plastic panties. The sight of Daddy smiling at you as he helps you off the bed. Again it is so surreal, like you are living in a fantasy, and in a way I guess I am. This was my fantasy, now, a reality. I am overwhelmed by it all, and I love it. I find it extra hard to walk in my heels right now, not just because I am not used to them, but because of all the different distractions that are working to overwhelm me. I stop at the hamper to grab the dirty clothes, and take a few moments to take a couple of deep breaths. After trying to calm myself a little (didn't work very well), I bend over to take the clothes out of the hamper. With the petticoats on under the maids uniform, my whole backside is completely exposed, along with feeling and hearing the diaper and plastic panties, the feeling of exposure while in not only in a dresse, but also wearing diaper, more like a little girl than anything close to a man.... What can I say, I think this is why I do this, for this feeling, or these feelings, the almost complete emasculation, by and for another person. Alone you cannot get that feeling, you need someone else, otherwise its not real. "Aww look how cute my little baby sissy girl is in her diapers and plastic panties," Daddy's tone and inflections in his voice, serve to make me feel like a child. I can't help but blush. "Daddy's little sissy looks so cute in her diapers, I just might have to keep her in them for awhile. Aww look how my baby girl blushes at the all the talk about her diapers," he says with a chuckle. It's true, I can feel as though my face is burning, the effect on my body and psyche of him talking about my diaper, my body telegraphs my mental state. It may be abnormal, I know there are a lot of like minded people like me, but still, it still is just a small fraction of the population, whatever, doesn't matter, this is something that I find a great deal of pleasure in, and its on much more than just a physical sexual level. The physical sexual responses do play a huge part, but probably even larger part is what is happening in my mind. The emasculation, submission, humiliation, desire to dress in ultra feminine clothes, desire to act feminine, and the desire for the physical act of being penetrated, are all due to how my mind creates those desires. I take the clothes to the laundry/bathroom, and put them in the washing machine. There is a few pairs of pants, some shirts and Daddy's boxers. I put the soap and fabric softener in and start the machine. I find some cleaning products under the sink, and I get to work cleaning. I start by getting the toilet cleaned, then wipe off the vanity and wipe out the sink. I feel as though I am falling deeper into my femininity, I am subconsciously adopting more and more feminine mannerisms. The high heels, the plug, the way the dress makes me want to swish and sway more, all forcing me to walk differently. I want to sway and swish, mince and sashay. I feel effeminate and dainty, allowing myself to drown in the illusion that is being created. Twenty-four hours ago, I was pretending to be a man. Twenty-four hours later, I am dressed in pink head to toe, and willfully relinquishing any claims to masculinity. For the first time in, well maybe for the first time ever, I am happy. Gone is the tension and stress that builds from always pretending I am something I am not, and always hiding. Everything that has happened in the last twenty-four hours, and the realization that this makes me happy, that this is where I fit, is overwhelming. I can't help it and I start to cry. Not tears of sadness, but of happiness. The damn has broken, all the years of pent up stress and unhappiness flood away in tears of relief. Relief that I have finally found a place where fit, where I can be accepted for who I am and want to be. It suprises me how overwhelming it is, it comes out in huge sobs of relief and happiness. It wracks my body, my emotions are controlling me right now, there is nothing I can do. I need to sit down, and I drop down the toilet seat and sit down. "Are you all right sweetie?" Daddy asks as he stands in the doorway of the bathroom. "Y-y-yes Daddy," I say shakily through my sobs. "Then hy are you crying baby girl?" "I-I am j-ju-just really h-h-happy right now Daddy," I say sniffling back the tears. Daddy walks over to me sitting on the toilet and pulls me twords him and hugs me. I start to cry harder again, and I feel as though I melt into him as he embraces me. I feel so safe and secure in that embrace. In this moment all is well. "There, there my little girl," Daddy says soothingly as he gently rubs my back. "Tell Daddy why you are so happy" "You make me feel like it is ok to be me Daddy. I don't have to pretend or hide, that there is a way for me to be who I really am and who I want to be. I am just so happy to be here now, with you," I blurt out. "Of course it is ok to be you, you are Daddy's baby girl. It makes Daddy happy seeing that you love being his little girl," he says. "It does Daddy, It makes me so happy I just feel like crying," I say. "Such a sweet little girl," he says as he leans in and kisses me. I am glad that Daddy is holding me, because when his lips touched mine, I almost went limp. I was the happiest I think I have ever been im my life. I was feeling so very good, I was feeling.... like I have to pee. "Daddy I need to use the potty," I whispered. "Then go in your diaper, that is why Daddies like me put their little girls into diapers. So they don't have to worry about using the potty like big girls. Just relax and let it go baby girl." I had to think about it a little bit, but after relaxing a little I started to wet my diaper. I feel my bladder draining and the warm wet feeling spreading in my diaper. I feel different. I am standing here in Daddy's embrace, peeing in my diaper like a child, like I am truly Daddy's baby girl. Daddy pulls back the front of my diaper and plastic panties and peeks inside. "Awww does my wittle girl have a wet diaper?" he asks. "Yes Daddy," I say meekly. "Yes Daddy what baby girl?" he asks. "Yes Daddy I wet my diaper," I say. "Ok baby girl," Daddy says looking at his watch. "Follow me into the bedroom, we will get you changed, Daddy has another present for his little girl." ... I follow Daddy into the bedroom and he lays down a mat on the bed. The wet diaper feels a little weird, and I am excited to have Daddy change me. I walk over to the bed an lie down on the mat. Daddy grabs a hold of my plastic panties and starts to pull, I lift up my bottom and allow him to slide them off. The sight of him pulling the plastic panties off, and feeling them slide down my legs starts to excite me, and I feel my clitty start to strain in its cage again. I am feeling very submissive and very exposed right now, in that I am in wet diaper waiting for Daddy to change me. Daddy undoes the tapes of the diaper and grabbing my ankles lifts me up my bottom and pulls out the diaper. He then pulls out the butt plug. "Daddy was going to put you back in a diaper for awhile, but we have an appointment to make in a little while. Why dont you hope in the tub and get cleaned up, dont worry about doing you makeup yet, and keep you hair in pigtails." "Ok Daddy, but where are we going? I ask. "Go take a bath and Daddy will tell you all about when you are done. Don't forget to take your butt-plug and clean it sweetie," He says. Daddy helps me off the bed and I start to walk to the master bathroom. I can feel the air on my crotch and bottom, the chastity cage bouncing freely as I walk, I feel totally exposed. I wonder what present Daddy has in mind. I wash the plug off in the sink using soap and water then I pour a bath, add some scented bath oil and take a bath to clean up. I want to make sure that my chasity and clitty are clean, but just moving around the cage makes my clitty swell in its cage. It is very uncomfortable. I try to take my mind off it by shaving my legs, arms and face. When that is done I rinse off, dry off and wrap my hair in a towel. I put on a robe and finish drying my hair. I put my hair in pony tails like Daddy said and return to him in the bedroom. Daddy is sitting on the bed, and as I walk over to him, I can see there are clothes layed out on the bed for me. There were a pair of pink panties made out of soft satin that had wide satin lace around the waste and legs. Next to the panties was a pink garter belt, it had a little pink bow on the front and on the front of each leg and it was covered in lace. There was a pair of pink stockings next to the garter, they were topped with a wide band of lace with very cute pink satin bows. Next to that was a pink satin halter-neck style bra with lace and ribbon on each breast cup. Lastly there was a Pink dress that had a elasticated neckline with a pink ribbon bows on the front of the neckline and on the neckline and arm cuffs. Just looking at all these frilly pink clothes has my heart skipping beats. Once again the arousal makes my clitty uncomfortable in its chastity cage. "Well baby girl, I was going to put you back in diapers today, but right now I need you to get dressed, we have to be at our appointment in 30 minutes," Daddy says. "Yes Daddy," I say. "But where are we going, isnt everyone going to be able to tell I am a boy not a girl?" "Well sissy girl, you ARE a boy not a girl. I know you are scared, this is a big step for you. If you put these clothes on and come with me, it will show Daddy how commited you are to being his little girl. You don't have to be scared, we are going to a salon and I am going to get your hair and makeup done. The ladies there have helped out more than one sissy boy like you in the past, so there is nothing to worry about." A big step? That feels like an understatement to me. I have never been really outside the house fully dressed before. These clothes are bound to draw attention, on top of that I have no makeup on to hide my boyish features. On the other hand, isn't this what I want. To be able to fully slide into my sissy persona? Besides I really want Daddy to know I am committed, the problem is I am not sure I am ready for this. Am I? I can feel the anxiety rising in me, the thought of going out and being seen by everyone as I am terrifies me. But does it matter if everyone sees me? If this is what I truly want, then why should it matter. It doesn't, it shouldn't. As long as Daddy is there, I will be ok right? I let out a big sigh and I sit down on the bed and start putting on the stockings and garter. "Ok Daddy I will go, but I am scared of being exposed like that," I say. "It will be ok baby girl, trust me. You do trust Daddy don't you?" "Of course I do Daddy," I answer. "Good girl. Bend over the bed so we can get your plug back in place. We need to make sure you are used to being filled, it will help you be a better girl for Daddy." I bend over the bed, like he says, and soon I feel the cold drips of the lube and Daddy's finger in my bottom, and then another. After a little more lub and a 3rd finger, I feel Daddy push the plug into place. After a few moments he pulls it out and pushes it back in, repeating that a few times, and once again I feel the now familar uncomfortableness from my caged clitty. "Ok sissy girl, lets finish getting you dressed in your frillies." Daddy picks up the panties off the bed, and holds them out so I can step into them. Like the stockings moving up my smooth legs, the panties Daddy is sliding up into place send ripples pleasure through my body as I feel the fabric slide up my legs and around my bottom, as Daddy snaps the waistband in place. "Thats my girl," he says. The panties in place Daddy gently pats my behind purposefully tapping the plug in making me squirm a little. He then rubs my locked clitty through the front of my panties. I am so aroused right now and Daddy touching me like that sends shivers through my body. It also serves to make it uncomfortable again. "I love knowing my little sissy boy's clitty is locked away for Daddy. It makes Daddy proud of his little girl knowing that she was willing to give up control to Daddy," he says. I pick up the bra to put on, and Daddy takes it and helps me put it on. He then picks up the dress and has me lift up my arms so he can slide the dress onto me. The feeling of that light smooth fabric sliding down my body, across my bra and pantes, feeling the hem of the dress rub against my legs. I instinctively start to spin back and forth to feel the fabric move on my skin and slide on the bra and panties. I just love that feeling, makes me feel extra girly. I find and put on my high heels and now I steel myself to leave. "Daddy has one more thing for you to complete your outfit baby girl," he says. Daddy takes out a necklace chain with a round tag on it that says "Daddy's Girl", and puts it around my neck. "There you go my baby girl, now everyone will know you are Daddy's Girl. Do you like it?" he asks. "Yes Daddy I love it!," I exclaim. And I do I really love it. I am Daddy's girl, and I could not be happier. ... A Big Step It is time to leave now, and we are walking to the front door. I am terrified to go out those doors dressed as I am now. At first glance it should be obvious to anyone that I am not a girl. At the same time, I am excited to go out. This is a huge step, and if I can take this, I don't think I will ever turn back. Not that I really want too. If I can do this, and everything is all right, then I can always do this can't I? We are at the door and Daddy is reaching for the doorknob. I am very self conscious. I am acutely aware of every piece of clothing, the plug, the chastity, the Daddy's Girl necklace, and the high heels. The door opens and Daddy takes my hand and steps out. I take a deep breath and sigh, and take the first step out. Everything seems so bright, every sound seems so loud, and the car seems so far away. I am very nervous, I am trying to look everywhere to see if there is anyone who can see me or who is watching me. With my hand in his, Daddy starts to walk to the car, and I follow him shakily in my high heels. We get to the car and Daddy opens the door for me and I get in. Sitting on the seat of the car feels different, and not just because I feel the plug and the chastity, but because I can really feel the seat through the dress and panties. I feel a anxious, even a little panicky, at the thought about how I am about to go out into the world dressed fully like a girl. Much worse, I know there is no way to hide the fact that I am not a girl. I have to resist the urge to hop out of the car and run back to the house. I am starting to feel a little sick to my stomach, the panic and fear rising. Daddy gets in the car and starts it, and pulls out of the driveway. I try to crouch down as far in the seat as possible and spend most of the ride look at my feet on the floor. I am so scared to look around, I dont want to see the people looking at me, nor to I want to give people a chance to see my face. One look at my face and those looking would probably start to laugh. After driving what seemed like hours but was actually only 10 minutes Daddy pulls into the salon parking lot. "Ok sweetie, time to go. Look I know you are scared, I thought you were going to have a heart attack on the way here," he says chuckling. "Trust me honey, there is nothing to worry about. You will feel really good after you get your hair done and your makeup done. After that you will be the pretty little sissy girl Daddy loves." I am so nervous that I can't even speak, all I can do is nod. Daddy gets out of the car, and I sit there for a moment trying to gather the courage to move. What finally gets me ready to move is when I realize how exposed I am sitting here in the car. I go to open the door but Daddy is already there, he opens it, offers me his hand and helps me out of the car. I am glad he is there, I feel shaky, light headed, and my balance feels off. I am so glad Daddy is next to me, I lean on him for balance as we walk into the salon. We walk into the salon and are greeted by a lady. I look around and am very relieved to see there is not another customer there at the moment. There are a couple of other ladies around, and I can feel their eyes on me, and I am not sure if I am imagining it or not, but I think they are giggling, most likely at me. I am feeling very self conscious, and I can feel my face burning. I really want to run away right now. "Hi, you must be Crissy, I have been expecting you," the lady said as she greeted us. What a nice necklace you have. Daddys Girl? Thats sweet. Oh don't look so worried Crissy, you should be happy. Your Daddy has brought you here so we can help you feel pretty for him, so you CAN be Daddy's Girl. Now follow me we have a lot of work to do, but by the time we are done, you will feel like a whole new girl," she said with a wink. ... I am looking at myself in a mirror. It is uncanny what some makeup will do. I see me staring back, but, its not me. I never had all that much practice with putting on makeup. I picked up what I could from You Tube and the like. But I hardly ever got to really use make up. It was only on a few occasions, mostly because you cant remove makeup that fast, and I rarely felt comfortable enough to risk it. The few occasions I did, were when I was meeting someone for an encounter, and I wanted to at least look as close to the part as I could. I feel the makeup may be a bit over the top, but, I feel pretty. It's a wonderful feeling. It electrifies me, I cant take my eyes off of my own reflection. My hair was dyed pink, and fashioned in pigtails. The pink hair gives me an extra feminine look and feeling, and the pigtails gives the perception of a young girl. Over all it gives me a feeling of ultra femininity. I reach up to touch my hair, and see my nails in pink, nearly the same shade as my hair. I am drowning in all things feminine, and I am loving it. I feel and look the part, I always wanted to, and now here I am. I am smiling now, gone are the reservations and the fear, destroyed as I embrace my new found fate. I am led back out into the lobby where Daddy is waiting. Im feeling more girly more feminine than I ever had. If you ever have dressed before, ever really gotten into it, you will know what I mean when I say you instinctively start acting more and more girlish. And the more girlish you feel the more you act it out and the more you act it out the more girlish you feel, etcetera. At this point I was almost completely lost within my sissy persona. I tried to match the ladies gait in front of me, swinging my hips taking a little shorter steps, trying to step one foot over the next a little to give me that swing, even the way I was holding my arms, more limp wristed, holding them out rather than straight down by my side. I can see Daddy looking at me, and it looks like he approves. When I walked through the door I could see his eyes get a bit bigger, and he has not taken his eyes off me one second. It makes me feel giddy in side, even more feminine. "My, does Daddy's little sissy girl look good. There is really nothing left of the boy is there??" He asks smiling at me. "No Daddy I feel like a girl, not a boy," I reply. My voice suprises me, without really thinking about it I am adopting a more feminine voice. "Of course you do Crissy, Daddy is happy how far you have gone to be Daddy's Girl. You seem so much better than you did when you first got here. Didn't Daddy tell you it would be ok? he says. "Yes Daddy you did, and I do feel better," I reply. Its true I do feel better, in fact I feel good. I actually have some confidence, looking the part goes a long way. "I am glad to hear that Crissy. Now we need to get going, we both need to get home and get ready. We are going out to eat tonight. I want to show off my new little girl to everyone," he says. I follow him out the the salon. Before the salon the thought of going out to eat tonight would have terrified me, now, its different. Now I feel as though it would be a thrill to go out as a girl. I know that there is a chance that people can tell im an just a boy crossdressing. But I feel pretty, sexy, feminine. I don't really recognize myself, and I doubt anyone would realize who I am. It is like a disguise, only this feels more like what I should be and the other me the disguise. I think the other girls out there know what I mean. I may have been assigned male at birth, but it always felt like I was forcing myself to be male, and at times definitely faking it. When straight friends said they wanted to get into a girls panties, and I said the same thing, it really didnt mean the same thing. I literally want to get into the panties. They just wanted her body. The ride home was pretty uneventful, this time though I did not feel the need to hide. I felt like I was just a girl, not a boy pretending to be one. I just kept thinking how I was really a girl now, or pretty close to it now. It thrilled me, too much in fact. The familiar uncomfortableness has returned as I become aware once again of my clitty locked away in its cage. I have to admit, even as happy as I am to be as I am right now, I still question the decision to allow my clitty to be locked up. It has only been hours and I already wish it was not there so I could rub my clitty, or at least have it confined. I have seen things on line of others going week, months and longer with out being let out, what if he does that to me? Can I last that long? We pull into the driveway, after a 10 min drive. This time it did not seem very long at all, the not like the way there. I hope out of the car right away, to stretch a little. I can feel my dress slide up my body, giving me that feeling of femininity and electric feeling that from the sensation of the dress on my smooth skin. As we are walking to the house Daddy puts his hand up the back side of my dress, and then down the back of my panties. He starts to push on the plug, and the suddenly I feel the vibration turn on, causing me to wiggle and squirm. Daddy keeps pulling on and pushing on the plug as we walk making it hard to keep steady on my heels, making me hang on to Daddy. "I take it that you like it when Daddy plays with your bottom dont you Crissy?" he asks as he plays with the plug. All I can do is moan and murmur, I am lost in the feeling. My clitty is uncomfortable again, but this feels really good. We reach the door, and Daddy takes his hand out of my panties, and unlocks the door. We enter the house and Daddy takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. "I have another present for you, while I go get it, I want you to take off your dress, and wait there in your underwear. ," Daddy says as he leaves the room. I pull off the dress, the feeling of the material sliding on my skin once again enhancing the over all feeling of femininity. I sit on the bed and wait for Daddy to come back. My mind is racing, I am still trying to process all that has happened in the last 24 hours. I remember on my back on this bed, Daddy standing over me. I remember the look of Daddy's cock, 8 inches in length, hard, posed to penetrate me. I remember the feeling of the head sliding in, of the feeling of being used just like the girl I feel like now. Im lost in those thoughts when Daddy walks into the room. He is holding a very pretty pink dress. "Here is the dress I want you to wear for me when we go out princess," he says. The dress is just beautiful and full. It billows out. I can imagine all that fabric around me, moving, rustling, and stimulating me. With that on I will feel like a princess. Its full of shimmering satin and lace all of it pink. It is not the kind of dress most girls would wear outside of say a wedding or maybe the prom, maybe not ever even, it is over the top sissy really. I love it. All that shiny pink satin, all that pink lace screams feminine. Daddy walks over to me and sets the dress on the bed. He holds out the petticoats for me to step into them. He slides it up my legs and pulls it up into place. Just the petticoat looks pretty. I spin and bounce, loving the feel of the petticoat swinging and swaying on my body. Daddy smiles and lets out a little chuckle. "I can see my sissy girl really likes her new dress," he says smiling. "With this dress on you can be Daddy's sissy princess tonight." I love hearing Daddy calling me his princess. I actually love the thought of being able to go out, being treated like a princess by Daddy. I was still a little worried about being found out by someone, as long as Daddy treats me like his girl, I dont care what everyone else thinks. Daddy picks up the dress off the bed, I hold up my arms and he lowers the dress onto me. Again the feeling of all that fabric sliding over me feels like electricity, making my body tingle. The dress in place I look down at myself. I am surrounded by all this soft pink fabric, it is just like being surrounded in femininity itself, it is a perfect analogy for how I feel right now. I move over to get a better look in the mirror. I spin, twirl, wiggle, sway, and bounce. I turn to the left to the right, and all the way around to get a good look from all sides. I want to cry again. I look like I always wanted to, I look like how I have always felt. I dont see the boy I use to be. I mean he is there, and I can see glimpses of him in my reflection, but the sheer femininity surrounding me, engulfing me is allowing me to surrender to my feminine side. The farther, deeper, or however you want to put it, into this femininity, into my femininity, the lighter I seem to feel. As though a weight is being lifted off of me. "Perfect!," Daddy says as he watches me admire myself in the mirror. "You definitely look like Daddy's princess tonight Crissy. You look like a pretty pink princess" "Oh Daddy thank you, I feel so feminine. I love the dress, it is so pretty. I feel like a princess," I say as I go over to Daddy and give him a hug. Standing in his embrace, dressed as this pretty little girl, looking into his eyes as he pulls me tighter, I finally know why I felt so out of place for so long. This was the place I could never find. At this point I decided I would do what ever Daddy wanted me to. I love my clothes, I love the way Daddy holds me, the way he treats me like his girl, I think I love him. No I do love him, how can I not, he has given me everything I ever wanted, and more, since I don't think I would have ever come this far with out him. I lean into him and kiss him. "Thank you for making me a girl Daddy," I whisper to him. Those words, that thought, that moment in time, it was a long time coming. I don't know if I really believe in fate, but I would like to think that I was always going to end up here, just wish I would have figured out to try to get here sooner. This is the moment that the sissy in me has always wanted, wished for, longed for, even back when I did not realize it. I am sure most sissies would agree, this is the moment they all look forward too. That moment they can say thank you for making me a girl. I dont even really feel like a boy in girls clothing at this moment. I feel like a girl. I mean, when I am not reminded that I am not by the chastity cage around my clitty. Still, with it locked away, maybe I can pretend I am the girl easier. I guess that is the point isnt it? "You are welcome princess. Daddy is very happy with your progress so far. You are turning out to be a very good sissy girl for Daddy. With some practice and work, Daddy might even be able to forget that you are really a boy under all that pink," Daddy says still holding me. I did not think it was possible to get any happier, any more excited, but when Daddy said he was happy with my progress, I was ecstatic. Deep down, even when I didn't know, this is what I really wanted. To be here now, my feminine side unchained, being who I am, not who society or happenstance of birth told me, forced me to be. I am that girl that always wanted to be, but never could, mostly because I wouldn't let her. It is utterly freeing to be able to be true to yourself. "Well Crissy it is time to head to the resturant, afterwards Daddy will show you how happy he is with his new girl," Daddy says. My mind runs wild with the thought of what might yet come. And to punctuate the feeling, Daddy turns on the vibration in the plug. You know that feeling when you have been riding that high you get when you are super aroused? To be kept aroused, constantly teased and yet denied the release from it. When you are in the grip of that, almost delirious, and utterly willing to do anything, ANYTHING to satisfy you, to get that release, relief from being so on edge for so long. Yeah that, that is where I am right now. If you know what I am saying, they you know why I do it. That delirious state of bliss, where every stimulation is heightened. The hunger that comes with it, to satisfy every dirty thing you ever wanted to do, and probably some you didn't even know existed. Just alone the vibration from the plug is enough to send shivers up and down my spine, and I can feel my clitty dripping with excitement, heightened by fact I have been on edge for hours, constantly stimulated. I can see Daddy's smile widen as he feels me shuddering in his embrace. "I love watching you squirm like that Crissy. I love knowing how frustrated you are, how easy it is to nudge you in that state. I love the look of huger in your eyes. I love knowing that I have control, control you gave me, to tease and deny, to drive you crazy," he says mischievously. "I can see you seem to enjoy it as much as I do don't you princess?" "Yes Daddy I do enjoy it very much, but I am very.......umm........ excited right now," I reply as I squirm as my body shivers as it feels as though the vibrations are amplifying and running through my body. "Yes baby girl, Daddy can tell. That is the point. Daddy wants to to be very excited for him. All the time," he says. He releases me from his embrace and takes my hand, and leads me out of the bedroom, and to the front door. I feel as though I am floating. Today has been unlike any other, adding to the surrealism. Here I am, feeling like a princess, even looking like one, about to be taken out by a man. He is taking me on a date. A date. I am going on a date as a girl. I am the girl. And after we get back home, I will be his girl, physically again. I want to skip eating and just go back to the bedroom right now. I want, no, need it right now. I feel Daddy turn off my plug's vibration, I can't help sigh a little in relief. Daddy opens the door and for the second time today, and for that matter, ever, I am about to expose my self to the world as my feminine self. There still is a twinge of trepidation, anxious thoughts about "what if's", the fear of being exposed and ridiculed. Still I am no where near as anxious as I was earlier, I am more excited now, I am able to be this person now, the feminine side that was trapped for so long inside of me. Oh yeah and I am going on a date with Daddy, someone who is interested in this me, not the facade, the disguise I had worn for so long. Someone who I can be me with, and for. ... Date With Daddy The drive was uneventful, and after about 20 minutes we arrived at the restaurant. It was nicer than I expected, and there was a lot more people here than I expected. Getting in and out of the car was made a little difficult with all that fabric around me. Just feels like it was going to catch on everything, just not use to having something like that on. On the way up to the doors to go inside, the dress feels heavy, I feel the anxiety and fear rise, I feel exposed. Out in public the dress seems too fancy, like it just draws attention to myself. All the way to the door, I keep looking down, I am afraid to look around, I am afraid my balance, and most of all my willpower, will falter. The door opens and we step inside. The place is packed. I feel like every eye in the place is on me. I look around nervously, I can see people looking at me. I feel the panic welling inside of me. Do they know? Can they tell? What are they thinking, what will they say? Will they all point and laugh, call me names? I feel my knees go weak, and I want to run. I look at the door, it is so close, I can just slip out and be gone. I feel Daddy squeeze my hand tightly. I look at him, and he smiles at me. I know the panic is written on my face, he has to see it. I think everyone has to see it. I am giving myself away to everyone. Daddy puts his arm arounds me and walks me to the hostess station. Daddy tells her we have reservations and she goes to seat us. I feel her eyes one me, I look, but I am afraid to look her in the eye. Her gaze seems to linger, like she sees something that is bothering her. I am terrified, she knows, just has too. Daddy asks for a table in the back of the restaurant. I am relieved after we take a seat, as we walked I could see everyone turning to look. I can feel my face burning, I feel embarrassed and exposed as though everyone can see through me right to the boy under all the feminine clothes. I try to calm myself down, deep breaths, and I focus on the table in front of me and Daddy. The hostess le