Becoming Sarah Chapter 9 free porn video

Chapter 9 Lexie was uncomfortable with her friend not making any comment about how James, as Sarah, had acted towards her and The Gord. It was effortless for her to see the interaction between James and The Gord. How her man retold it, how she heard it from him. How a third party should agree as well. But as each moment of Audrey's silence on the update passed, Lexie was losing her conviction about how her and her other half viewed James' actions. Maybe James had taken The Gord's good-natured humor the wrong way. Even with Audrey being meticulous about making comments until she was able to hear from all the people involved, the girl who was having doubts about her stance thought the lady who did not hasten into judgment should have at least concurred about James acting out of order. The lady who wanted relief from the uneasiness she was feeling finally broke down to get verification about her views. "Audrey, what do you think about what happened with the Gord coming over on Saturday night?" Even with Audrey being sure about Lexie's story having a pro-Gord bias, she was not going to air her views just yet. It would not be prudent to comment, for she could not say why she thought it was wrong. "Lexie, I was not going to say anything, but here it goes. You know it is house rules that everyone has to knock before they enter our apartment. You need to remind The Gord about it." Lexie, wanting her views to be affirmed, pushed the lady on the subject. "You know I was asking about how James acted towards my man and then me. Quit beating around the bush." "Share with me what those good-natured comments were that The Gord made, and I will share with you the opinion I have, so far." Audrey knew the inquisitor was not going to take another non-answer to the question. Yet she was not ready to make one without at least knowing more detail. Only a fool who does not understand boundaries would speak their mind now, with how much information could yet be revealed to the lady who was trying to stay impartial. Audrey was no fool and was not going to just take the words of others. "Well, it was like what I said, good-natured." "Well, maybe James did not take it that way. That is all I can say until I know what exactly was said." "Trust me, they were light-hearted." "I trust that you see them that way, that does not make them so. I just want to form my own opinion based on what they were." Audrey had a feeling that she was not going to find them as innocent as Lexie was making them out to be. The main reason the wise lady thought she was going to disagree with her friend's assessment was Audrey knew The Gord. He had many good qualities, but that man could just be crude and insensitive with his jokes. "OK, they were off the cuff and I do not remember all the jokes. Gordon called James my girlfriend, said the reason Jamie turned down being in the frat was he'd rather be a sorority sister. Then after James changed, The Gord apologized about James not being able to take a joke." Audrey gave Lexie the "Are you serious" look. The lady who wanted more information before getting in the middle still tried to be diplomatic. "Lexie, I think I need to hear what James said in response." "No need to hear from James, I will fill you in. James told The Gord the reason why he was in the frat was because those were the best friends in his paygrade. Then he brought up that The Gord also wanted to be a sorority sister, for he'd worn a dress. James got all mad when The Gord told him not to get his panties in a bunch. I told James I was going to call him today and he blew me off, then when I called today he did not answer or call me back. The Gord was joking, and James got nasty." Audrey did not like to hear both sides from one person, especially when that one person had a vested interest to make one side come out looking good. "Lexie, putting someone down is not in good nature if the other person does not take it that way. If what The Gord said was taken to heart by James, then you two should have treated it that way. The meaning of what your man said did not change just because the Gord was joking. The Gord made fun of James' manhood, and you don't expect James to not say anything if he took it for what those words mean? You know how Sarah was with Lilith. You should just give James a couple of days to calm down and give him a proper apology." Hearing that her level headed friend thought that her and The Gord were in the wrong, did not reaffirm Lexie's point of view. Not ready to admit that her man did overstep some bounds, Lexie thought it was best to drop the subject and not give Audrey's words any real consideration. She wasn't there to witness what happened, so her opinion could not be accurate. ******* As Lilith left the student union to go back to her apartment, the fall sky was overcast and she felt a chilled, cold gust of wind that told her Indian Summer was over. Winter was coming soon, she thought. Little did she know that how Cara and Dillon treated her earlier today were signs that a social winter was soon coming her way also. Lilith was going to handle the new dynamics with her friends like she did the cold winter wind; going forward with her head down and just wait until spring came again. If she figured out the the weather forecast of her friendships was on of a never ending winter, the resourceful lady might be able to prepare to endure and lessen the impact of the cold dreary days ahead of her. In fact, she might be able to make those flowers of friendship bloom when winter was over. ************ Dillon said, "Sorry Cara, I told James to call you, but with you having a date last night, I do not think he is going to. How could you do that to him?" "I did not have a date." "James told me otherwise and why would he lie. Come on, you did this to him before." "Me and Lilith were just going to hang out and she set me up to hurt James. That rapscallion said I was just going to be her wing woman while she was on a date with a man she liked. I believed her and told her it was not a date, but she announced it was when Sarah was still getting changed. I could not explain for I wanted to get Lilith out of there before she did any more damage to her. Please tell Sarah I am sorry." "Calm down Cara, I understand better now. I will talk with James." Dillon paid no mind to Cara's slip of the tongue, and using 'Sarah' for James, as 'her' being upset, after all she was high strung. Being upset made Cara not think and she used the name of the person she saw Sarah/James as. Unknowingly, Sarah's words to Cara about her seeing James as Sarah were true. Cara's heart was seeing her friend's heart, the physical vessel was not important. After hearing out Cara and with how well he knew Lexie, the farm boy thought there were only two to blame. The Gord, Dillon expected his reaction, that boy needs to grow up. All he worried about was his standing in his little social club. He would bet money, that to score some points, that boy who was fighting becoming a man, had already told all his paid brothers about how witty he was, putting down James for being in a dress. Even with having a first hand account of Lilith's actions, Dillon was troubled by the thought that she meant to do James harm. That lady never showed a conniving bone in her body before this. How passive aggressive and backhanded her dealing with James were, showed a dark side of her which James' friend did not like. Dillon understood that James was not going to be in the mood to talk about yesterday without incentive. To his friend it felt like he was betrayed by four people, and who wants to talk about that? Dillon was straightforward and only knew one way to have someone speak freely about a subject they do not want to broach, alcohol. It was time for Dillon and James to have Sunday night out. ******** Cara was a little more at ease, but still angsty, after getting off the phone with Dillon. The lady with so much on her mind did not have to worry about if James would talk to her anymore; she knew he would hear out his roommate. The angst was still with her for she had to come to terms about the feelings she had while seeing Sarah naked. This new carnal desire was a sin. Cara Ham was a devout Roman Catholic, and the Catholic girl had enough trouble coming to terms with the guilt she had when engaged in premarital sex with a man she loved. It was painstaking for her to come to terms with biblically knowing a man. Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt only enjoyed the pleasure of the bedroom when she gave the man she was with her heart. Even then it was not guilt free. Confession never gave her absolution, for she knew in her heart that she would end up doing the sin again. It was hard enough finding solace in only committing one sin when giving into her desires, how could the lady of strong faith do so when the act combined with another sin? Cara was finding some comfort, for at least she still had the desire to be with Sarah's alter ego, James. It would be easy to suppress the desire of the flesh of another woman if she was in a relationship. Fidelity was important to her. Sharing herself with only the person she wanted to share the rest of her life with was more important to her enjoyment of life than a momentary romp with someone physically appealing to her sexual urges. Coming to the conclusion that she was going to make it work out with James brought more relief to the angst the sinful girl had. Not only would she never have to deal with her homosexual urges, Cara would not have to deal with how her family would react to her. Like Cara, the entire Ham family were devout Catholics. They all tried their best to follow the dogma of Mother Church in their personal lives, but did not hold others up to those standards. Some might see them as being cafeteria Catholic for not wanting the teachings of their faith to be the law of the land. The Hams did not, it was not their place to judge others. Also, they believed allowing others to follow their own path to the Lord was the best means to "Love your neighbor as yourself." This was the best manner for them to fulfill all the Laws of Moses according to their interpretation of Galatians 5:14. ********* James did not know or care why he was feeling as good as he was, sitting on the other side of the booth from Dillon in Zeno's. He knew he should be in a bad mood and down. He felt like he lost three dear friends this weekend. The man also believed the friend he fancied had a great date last night, so he lost out at another chance to go out with her. There should be a tear in his beer instead of a smile on his face. James' good spirits did not come from the spirits he drank. It came from Sarah still roaming freely around in his head. The person he really was knew she was in a safe place right now around Dillon. Earlier today she slipped up and gave too much information about herself to him and it did not phase Dillon. His non-reaction made it so Sarah had a furlough in his presence. Dillon was also in good spirits, and just like James, it did not come from the spirits he drank. First, it was easy for him to talk James into calling Cara. In fact, the farm boy just brought it up and and Sarah agreed to do so. Another reason was Dillon just enjoyed being in the presence of his room mate. Little did the man know the man sitting across from him was a woman. Even with agreeing to call Cara to hear her out, the stubborn lady already had her mind made up about what happened and what will become. Her Giggle Twin has a guy. Sarah was happy for her. Now she was going to be supportive of her friend and hopefully their bond becomes closer. The lady who was letting go of her wanting Cara envisioned those two being life long friends. Now with Sarah thinking she was a free agent in the game of love, she started to think what she was looking for in a woman. Then the lady who was trying to figure out what her heart wanted if it could not get what it needed realized she might not be into ladies only. James was a front to hide who she was so Sarah knew she had to do some self discovery about who she was. While looking at the man whose company she was enjoying this evening Sarah came to another realization, how she described Dillon to Lilith was accurate. He was a great catch and it might be a good idea to take the date they were going on more serious. If Sarah also was into men, she could not do that much better than Dillon. As Sarah was starting to see her friend in a different light; The Gord and a couple of his frat brothers brothers, The Villain and Hoghead, came walking into Zeno's. When Dillon saw those three a quick micro- expression of a sneer came across his face. The man who wanted to lighten up his friend's mood picked Zeno's for the laid back atmosphere it had. He knew that ambiance would be gone for Sarah as soon as she saw the man who gave her a hard time. As the frat trio walked into Sarah's line of sight, Dillon tensed up in anticipation for her reaction. It was a relief to him that there was no change in her actions. Sarah was having too much fun out and about to let some immature jerks ruin her night. Dillon never really liked frats, he hated how light and casual they were in joking about homosexuality. The man who was wiser than he would acknowledge knew they meant no harm, but their actions in demeaning people by insinuating they were gay, kept the stigma of being homosexual alive. They try to defend it by saying it was a unity building activity, and they mean no real malice towards homosexuals. That did not change the fact their actions ostracized gays. Some of Dillon's friends dropped out of pledging, for the unity building activity made them feel like more of an outcast. The man of the earth knew that true unity does not come from making others feel less than your group, but from having common goals, dreams and aspirations. Sarah went up to get the next round of drinks and The Gord saw her at the bar. He could not resist telling his friends about seeing James in a dress. While getting a laugh out of his friends, the Gord pointed at Sarah and made his other hand's wrist limp. Sarah's tablemate was not happy to see people mock his friend for trying something different and also for thinking it is funny to make light of someone's sexual preference. Another reason Dillon did not like how the Gord and his friends were joking around was for it was about someone behind their back. Joking around with people behind their back was just a way for a group to reinforce the person who was not aware was below them socially. It also made jokes about the person being made fun of acceptable without them having a say in it. It could never be seen as light-hearted humor to joke about someone without knowing how they would like it. The frat brothers joked about homosexuality for they were the poster children of the people who worry about what they should not. They were uncomfortable around gay people for they thought that gay men would hit on them unmercifully. They used humor to ease feeling uncomfortable about being checked out by someone they did not want to. It was ironic, for those three had no empathy when woman had the same reactions when men checked them out. One of the mysteries of men was why the ones who had the least to offer believed they were God's gift to women and gay men. Yes even gay women for they were under the assumption that they could turn a lesbian straight. While the truth was more likely that people like the Gord and his cohorts could turn straight women into lesbians. On his way to the bar, Dillon eyes up Gord's friends and figured that the one with no neck was not the brightest out of the group. Dillon's assertion to himself was true, Hoghead would never be mistaken for a Rhodes Scholar. Dillon was next to the man he knew would be untactful. Dillon inquired about what was so funny to Hoghead. The Gord hated that he recognized that voice questioning his dull friend. He knew that Hoghead would not be diplomatic with his answer, and Dillon would take offense. That was what self righteous pricks like Dillon did. They cannot take a joke about who they were. While pointing at Sarah, Hoghead said, "Oh man, see that dude there? He likes to wear dresses and my buddy said he might be a fag, like his roommate." "His roommate is gay, not a fag." "Okay, he is gay, but those two like to suck cock, that is just so funny." The Gord was going to smooth things out, "Dillon I said gay and not fag." Hoghead did not catch on that Dillon knew The Gord and that his frat brother was trying to cover up what he said, "No you said 'fags who like to puff on peters.' Isn't that funny?" The Villain recognized Dillon and also started to try to lie their way out of the situation, "Chill man, nothing was meant by that harmless joke. If you did not see us laughing you would not have known." "A joke that puts down people for who they are is not harmless. It sends a message to the audience of the joke that it's humorous to be different. I do not find that joke funny, can you please explain what is so funny about a man wanting to be with another man?" "Just chill, and if I have to explain the joke, then you would not get it." "I do get why you find it funny. I just wanted to see if you were man enough to say it to my face." Sarah saw Dillon talking to those three and joined the group. One of the many personality traits which both Sarah and James shared was being classy. She was mad at The Gord about how immature he acted the other night, that did not mean he would not be social towards him. Ignoring that boy would have been rude, and Sarah would not commit that act of bad manners. Hoghead did not really care about how Dillon was feeling, so when he saw Sarah he made a smart remark, "Not in a dress tonight?" The man who was not the sharpest cheddar in the dairy aisle put his crass attempt at humor above treating those two with the respect others deserved. They were fags and he was an Alpha man, his brothers all believed that non-Alpha's feelings should not be put above what a member of the frat wants to do. Plus, there was three of them compared to two so they had the numbers. "And you are not drooling?" Hoghead did not like that the comment aimed at him went over his head and asked Sarah what she meant by that. "Oh, I thought we were asking for what we expected to see from the other. I was expecting to see a cretin like you drooling." Wanting to put the two intruders to their night on the defensive, Hoghead asked, "Dillon, if you took great offense to the innocent laugh we had at James' expensive, why did you come over here?" "I came over for James is my friend and I will not let people like you put him down for being who he is." Sarah piped in, "Dillon, they are not worth our time. I do not care what people who have to put people down to lift themselves up have to say." Hoghead did not like that someone not from his artificial tribe got the last verbal burn in on him. "Oh look guys, the girl of the relationship is saying that we are not worth their time. That is a laugh." The snide comment did not have the desired results, for Sarah took being called a girl as a complement. Even with the attempted negative connotation, hearing a stranger call her a girl felt nice. To her it meant that her essence was outshining her physical body. "I am not his girlfriend but I would be lucky to be. Unlike you, Dillon is smart, charming, cares about others, and you would have to admit, a stud. While you,- You are a dud." Before Hoghead could tease Dillon about James' leaving salutation, The Gord shot him a look which even he was able to pick up meant to drop it, for the conversation was done. Even with having the numbers, the follower of the Gord knew to let it go. Once they left, Hoghead knew that him and his drinking buddies would soothe their egos. Talk about how they took the high road compared to other people who should not be so sensitive. On their way back to the bar, Dillon was still blushing about what Sarah said. That was twice today she used the same words to describe him. Then saying she would be lucky to have him. Dillon did not let those words build up his expectation for what would never be. Yeah, his room mate has been acting differently, but Dillon was the wrong sex for her. Little did he know that Sarah was also the wrong sex for him. Even with having no expectations, Dillon wanted to know if Sarah meant those words and asked her. Sarah let out a little giggle at the question, if she has not been embracing her feminine side, James would had found that new quirk odd. "Yes, I meant that Dillon. Sometimes you can be such a lovable lunk. You are a great catch and someday you would make some man extremely lucky by falling in love with him." Hearing those words made Dillon feel extremely lucky, but the luck was bad. He knew he was falling in love with Sarah. The man with a hungry heart also came to the conclusion it would be best for his friendship with Sarah to spend as little time alone with her. He never believed that absence made the heart grow fonder. All being away from the one you loved did was made the lovelorn person transfer the love from the real person to a romanticized version of them. When they sat down at their booth, the man who was doing what was best for his friendship said, "James, after this beer we should go. We both have an early classes." Sarah did not like hearing the night was close to being over. She wanted to spend time around Dillon, seeing him in the new light. The girl who was in the wrong body also did not like hearing the name James. Her parents did name her that, but it felt wrong now. At least from the lips of people who were getting to know who she really was. "How about this, we leave after the game. I am enjoying the company, watching the game, and need to be out of dorm. I will just think about calling Cara tomorrow." ********* Lilith's greetings from Cara and Audrey were chilly when she finally entered the apartment. The lady whose friendship with her two roommates was entering winter had tried to be warm with hers. Audrey looked up from her textbook to give her an icy stare. Lilith then tried an icebreaker with Cara who was watching the telly and got the cold shoulder in return. Instead of taking a cue from the weather inside the living area and going to the warmth and shelter of the solitude of the bedroom, Lilith decided to add yet another cold front to the atmosphere. If Cara was going to be cold then Lilith was going to be frigid. "If you cannot say hi to me then you also cannot watch my television." Without uttering a word Cara turned off the television and picked up her smart phone. Audrey put down her book and went behind to the television to disconnect the cable. With Lilith providing a nice 50" flat screen smart television for the girls, they did not have her pay the internet/cable bill and if Lilith was going to act childish then she would be treated that way also. "What do you think you are doing Audrey?" "While if you are not allowing others to watch your television, then you will not be using the cable you do not pay for. Also you will need to figure out how to get the internet for your computer." "Yeah, I provide the television for us to watch. If Cara cannot be civil and talk to me she cannot watch my television." "Lilith, I was filled in about what went down this weekend. Cara does not need to speak with you to watch the television, just like you do not need to speak with her to use the internet or cable. You broke the agreement we had about why you do not pay, so you need to find your own access." "Fine, Cara can watch my television. Now hook my television back up to the cable box, I want to watch Game of Thrones later." "It does not work that way Lilith. The agreement is done, you do not get to decide that it is back without Cara being in agreement also." Cara gave a frosty smile to Lilith, "I am fine with not having access to Lilith's television, so it looks like no internet or cable for you." "I live here and I cannot be treated this way. Cara does not have the right to deny me access." As Audrey was going to her computer to change the router password, "She did not, you did. Now just shut up about this and do whatever you want. Like I said I have a pretty good idea what chaos you caused here this weekend. You are our roommate but do not expect to be treated other than that from either Cara or me." "Don't talk to me that way. You have no right to give me orders or talk down to me." "Oh telling you to shut up was not an order, it was a suggestion. You want to talk? Here it is. The last couple of weeks you have been a total bitch with how you have been dealing with James becoming Sarah. It put some bug up your ass and I did not like it. Looking back I should have stopped you. Yes I could have. You went too far with causing damage in the friendships between Cara, Lexie, and Sarah. You went too far with lying about the date. I would not put it past you that somehow you got The Gord to show up here while James was being Sarah. I wish I would have figured you out earlier, how self centered you are makes it so I want nothing to do with you. If we could, I would throw your ass out of this apartment right now. I can't, but after the school year is over, you will not be staying here with us. I am looking forward to the last time you will be walking out that door." The bone chilling revelations made Lilith snowblind. The lady who was always ready to defend herself was speechless. She was disoriented at how Audrey declared in no uncertain terms their friendship was over. Lilith knew she needed to find shelter and retreated to her bedroom. Even with Audrey being one of the most reasonable careful people she knew, Lilith got some warmth from believing that once James was done playing dress up she could patch things up with those two, the future doctor had to be overreacting.There was no way that Audrey would throw away the bond those two had. Their plans for the future, they were already making plans to start a nonprofit to get more women to become doctors. Lilith laid in her bed thinking about how to keep her moral integrity and express her disdain for James while not alienating herself from her friends anymore. It saddened her that who she thought was one of the good guys would do an action so grand to belittle all women. The worst was he had other people thinking what he was doing was okay without them seeing how James was belittling all women. As she was drifting off to sleep, Lilith took to stratification, she knew her actions would have to be subtle from now on, but she would be able to figure them out. ********* After classes on Monday, Sarah got ready to call Cara. It was easy to agree to do, but hard to execute. The lady who only wanted the best for her best friend knew she had to lie about not thinking that Cara's heart belongs to a man. It was going to be harder to sound excited about the charade of a date which Cara was going to bring up. It needed to be done, so Cara had a clear conscience about seeing Jason. Hopefully, he was better than the last two men Cara gave her heart to. The phone call itself came off surprisingly effortless to Sarah. Hearing the caring and love in her giggle twin's voice made Sarah know the deception was the right course of action. The lies gave comfort to a friend who was doing nothing wrong by following her heart. Plus, Sarah had something more important than a date with a girl she fancied. She made the girl who was going to be her best friend for life spirits rise up to where they should always be. Those two made plans for Sarah to come over on Thursday, just to hang out. It was a highlight of the call for Sarah. Not for it was making time to be with a friend. It was for how brave she was in telling Cara, even after this weekend, Sarah will be stopping by to visit. If not coming closer to admitting to herself that she was Sarah was not enough, Cara's reaction added to make it even sweeter. The lady on the other line confessed to Sarah that she found her as sexy as James. ********** Cara got off the phone feeling relieved by being closer to clearing up all the chaos which Lilith caused this weekend. She got back the chance, which for some strange reason fate did not want her to have, at winning Sarah's heart. She knew that Sarah did not fully believe her, but that did not matter. Her actions will back up her words. She did question leaving out telling Sarah she loved her. At the end, that inaction was the right course of action. Saying I love you should be done face to face and with her being able to do so and then have their first kiss, it would be so romantic and fitting. Cara believed that those two deserved their love to be as magical as it could be from now on. Another reason silence was best was she did not wish to anger Sarah by making a declaration which her giggle twin would not believe. Now for the last part, talking with Lexie. Other than saying hi, those two had not talked since Lexie called her a cocktease. Those two were like sisters, and family fight and say things which they do not mean all the time. Once they got past the little tension about them bickering with each other it would be easy. It was for they both had a high amount of empathy for each other. They would be able to see how the other took the words which were said and take it seriously. Lexie finally came home on Monday afternoon and was overly friendly with Cara. "Hiya Cara, I really hope you were able to clear things up with James. You two need to finally get together. I know how much you want to be with him." The lady who was looking to reset her social life after the damage which was done felt a little on guard with how chummy her friends greeting was. It was out of character for Lexie to act like their last discussion never occurred. Lexie was a firm believer in never sweeping anything under the rug. This made Cara cautious in her response, "Thanks Lexie." "Cara, you know that The Gord was just joking with James while he was Sarah." "Lexie, you know that you and The Gord need to look at it from Sarah's perspective. If you did, you would know that your man went too far." "Well, us three can talk about it before the game tonight. He is coming over to watch the game." Cara said "Oh." It was all making sense to her now. Lexie was being nice to try to get the cable hooked back up to the television. Her man did not want to watch the game at the frat for it was the Pittsburgh Steelers versus the Baltimore Ravens. It was a huge rivalry game and he was the only Raven fan in his frat. With how monosyllabic Cara was being, Lexie knew she was not making progress with her goal of having her friend renew the cable/internet television agreement. Lexie did not want to come straight out and ask for it. If Cara said no, or if her friend felt pressured into doing so, it would add more strain to their friendship. "The Gord wants to watch the game in peace and not take any hassle just for being a fan of the other team." "Yeah." "So how about just going back to the old agreement? It would start to bring peace back to our apartment." "No Lexie." "Cara quit being so stubborn. Lilith does not like James acting like he is Sarah. I understand why now. He is taking this too serious." "Lexie, until Saturday night you backed Sarah. You now know Sarah has a strong feminine side and it is just coming out. She is not taking it too serious, she is just being herself." "We do not need to get into this again. Get over it so we can watch the game." "Lexie just drop it. I said no. Lilith tried a power play to get me and her back to talking, and I am finished with her. Come on, you also know she is playing you. All of the sudden she likes the Gord and does not find his behavior to be childish? You know she think that frat's members have the herd mentality. You just do not want to see he needs to grow up and not act like he is in middle school all the time." "You know that is just The Gord being The Gord." "You know that you need to quit defending him. Instead of being in love with the potential man he could be, help him become it." Lexie knew her friend was right, The Gord had not had any real emotional growth since they became a couple. He has always shown glimpses of the great man he could be, but keeps on pushing back taking the responsibility which comes with maturity. Being mature does not mean one is always serious, it means one knows the right time and place to lighten up, and where the line is. It also means if you cross the line one makes sure to rectify it the correct way. To take the responsibility for one's actions and not blaming others. "I will just tell Gordon that we will go to Champs Sports Bar to watch the game. I am in the mood for their hot wings anyway. Also I was serious about hoping that you and James get it right this time. I know how much you care about him. If there is anything I can do to help just tell me." Cara hugged her friend. "Thank you Lexie. I just hope I am the woman for him." ********** The next couple of days Sarah took time to roam about her mind. It was always her mind, but now she knew it. She looked for her old prison and saw that it was gone. In its place was a bedroom door. She opened it and saw a teenage girl's bedroom. She loved the light purple trim around the window, the frilly curtains. She ran to the bed where the teddy bear that she always wanted sat next to the pink pillow. Then the vanity, it was just perfect. Sarah started to internally shed tears of joy. Then a little sorrow came over her when she glanced out the window and saw the essence of James wandering around outside. She could tell that he was lost and confused. That boy who never really was had as much direction as a rudderless ship. Sarah wanted to comfort the protector part of herself, but knew it would not be prudent. The time was not right, she needed to at least have the entire weekend of actually being in her full glory. The euphoria of just being true to oneself would help ease the part of her who was James to understand his time in control was over. It would still be sad, but James would not put up a fight. Sarah knew once she declared to the world who she really was she would need all the allies she could get. The lady who was going to end living a lie soon also knew the most important ally she would need was herself. Anything the blossoming girl could do to lessen the amount of internal conflict was the optimal course of action. Sarah went away from the window and sat at her vanity to better examine who she really was.