Andy took a deep breath as he stepped through the front door of the
imposing building. He'd never before done anything even remotely like
he was about to, and didn't mind admitting to himself how nervous he
was, even if he tried his best not to show it as he approached the
reception desk.
"Can I help you?" the receptionist- a slender woman in her early
twenties- asked.
"Hi," Andy replied. "I'm- I'm Andrew Moore, I'm here for the interview
today?"
"Okay," the receptionist replied. "Do you know who you're here to
see?"
"No, they just said to come to reception and that you'd be expecting
me," Andy replied.
"Can I ask what the interview's about, please?" the receptionist
asked. "We conduct a lot of interviews here every day." Andy gulped
and his cheeks began to flush under the unwanted questioning.
"It's about-" Andy said, before lowering his voice to barely above a
whisper. "It's for parents of- of children who are transgendered."
"Of course," the receptionist said in a voice barely louder than
Andy's, before handing him a form and an access card. "You're on the
third floor, use the card to go up in the lift and when you get off,
turn right, and you'll be the third door on your left."
"Thanks," Andy mumbled, writing his details on the form and heading
toward the lift, which ferried him up to the interview area, where he
found several people already waiting.
"Hello," an older man in his late sixties said, slowly standing and
shaking Andy's hand. "Are you here for the interviews too?"
"Umm- yeah," Andy replied. "I'm Andy, Andy Moore."
"Raymond Milton," the older man replied. "This is my wife Catherine,
and these are my son's in-laws Mark and Susan Travis."
"Nice to meet you all," Andy said quietly, before being approached by
one of the newspaper's research team.
"Hi, did you say you were Andrew Moore?" the researcher asked.
"Y- yeah, that's me," Andy replied.
"Did you bring the photos we asked for?" the researcher asked, making
Andy internally sigh as he withdrew two A6-sized photographs from his
coat pocket. Both photographs were of the same person- his oldest
child- but they couldn't have been any more different.
The first photograph had been taken in October 2014, when Ashley had
just started secondary school, and it showed a healthy, and what Andy
had presumed was happy eleven year old boy. Andy had four other
children, but Ashley was special. He was his firstborn, a chip off the
old block. Andy had been determined to give Ashley all the advantages,
all the luck that he himself hadn't had when he was a child and would
have done anything for him... But as he stared at the second photo,
Andy felt his heart break. The second photograph had been taken in
October 2017, and bore the image of a happy, healthy fourteen year old
girl. For just over a year, Ashley had been living her life as a girl,
watching chick flicks instead of action films, taking dance lessons
instead of playing football and wearing skirts to school instead of
trousers. Andy couldn't deny that, after a few initial 'teething
problems', Ashley had been much happier as a girl than she had as a
boy- but every time Andy saw his son-turned-daughter, whether or was
on a photo or in real life, he couldn't help but feel that he'd lost
his future best friend- and that he'd failed as a parent.
"Good looking kid," Mark said, showing Andy the two photographs he'd
brought- one of which was of a shrimpy-looking blonde boy in his early
teens, while the other was of the famous model and reality TV star
Jamie-Lee Burke- a celebrity that even Andy was familiar of regardless
of his daughter's connection to her.
"Yeah," Andy replied, quickly handing the researcher his photographs,
sitting down by himself in the waiting area and cursing himself for
agreeing to attend the interview in the first place.
----------
"Thanks again for the lift," Beverly said as she stepped out of her
friend's car.
"Think nothing of it, we're practically family," Chris chuckled.
"God... This brings back some unpleasant memories."
"Ah, yeah," Beverly said with a grimace. "The, umm, the JK thing?"
"Yeah," Chris replied quietly. "Been almost four years since that...
Guess it's weighing on my mind a lot too, we just passed a year since
my dad died."
"Ah, I'm sorry," Beverly said softly.
"Thanks," Chris replied. "I still miss him, despite everything he did
to Nikki."
"He's your dad, of course you will," Beverly advised. "What's
important is that you-"
"-I make sure I'm as good a dad as I can be to my girls," Chris
interrupted. "I know, I know. And yes, I do mean all three of my
girls."
"Never doubted it for a second," Beverly said with a warm smile as she
and her friend checked in at reception before heading upstairs and
introducing themselves to the men and women in the waiting area.
----------
"You didn't need to come with us today," Malcolm said to the young
blonde woman as he and his wife followed her out of the cramped tube
station.
"No- trust me, I wanted to," Jessica said in her soft Baltimore
accent. "I mean, we ARE family, right? Well, near enough, anyway."
"Absolutely we are!" Caroline replied, sharing a quiet giggle with her
future daughter-in-law. "It's just a shame Paige was scheduled to work
today, we hardly get any time to see her as it is."
"I know the feeling," Jessica sighed.
"Though at least there's only a few hundred miles of land separating
us and not an entire ocean," Caroline said, making Jessica bite her
scarlet-coloured lip.
"Yeah," the American woman sighed. "We're not sure yet we'll be moving
to America when we're married, but with neither of us likely to get
promoted at the airline... We're still weighing up our options."
"I was thinking more about your poor parents," Caroline said. "You've
been living in Europe for what, three years?"
"...Three and a half," Jessica mumbled. "I do miss them sometimes. But
I'm glad I have another set of parents living in the country, even if
there is a few hundred miles of land between us!"
"And we'll never say no to another daughter!" Malcolm chuckled, giving
Jessica a gentle pat on the back. "Even if the two that do live close
to us are a pain in the neck most of the time!"
"Paige did say she was relieved they were unavailable this weekend,"
Jessica giggled as she and her in-laws approached the tall newspaper
building.
----------
"Oh, hi Andy!" A familiar middle-aged woman's voice said, snapping
Andy out of the funk he'd been in. "Had a feeling you'd be here today
too!"
"Umm, oh, hi Michelle!" Andy replied, standing up and shaking the
hands of the woman and her fianc?. "Hi Sean. Yeah, kinda had my arm
twisted, heh."
"Clare not here too?" Sean asked.
"No," Andy replied. "She's, umm, babysitting. And we kinda- kinda need
to book a doctor's appointment too..."
"...Oh," Michelle said with an awkward grimace. "Okay then..."
"Hi," the researcher said, breaking the awkward silence before it had
a chance to begin. "Are you Laura White's parents?"
"Yes," Sean replied with a playful sigh. "Michelle's got your photos
for you, we've got a couple of professionally-done headshots as well
as the latest school photo if you'd like?"
"Please," the researcher said, taking the photos from Michelle before
returning through the door she'd emerged from.
"...Laura's getting professional photos done?" Andy asked.
"She's even been doing some professional modelling work," Michelle
said with a proud smile. "She really is willing to put in the work
needed to be a professional actress, or a model, or even an 'Angel',
heh. No reason why we shouldn't encourage her dreams."
"That's what parents do, after all," Sean concurred, causing a strange
feeling to well up inside Andy. While Sean and Michelle had given
Laura unconditional support to be the person she wanted to be, Andy
had actively tried to discourage Ashley from exploring her femininity.
Andy tried to justify this to himself by reasoning that as her parent
he knew what was best for Ashley, but as he saw the sheer pride that
Michelle and Sean had for Laura- as well as the pride shown by the
other parents in the room- he began to question whether or not he
truly did know what was in his daughter's best interests.
Andy's introspection was once again interrupted when the door to the
waiting area opened to allow a middle-aged man wearing a blue and
white striped football shirt to enter.
"Hello Mike!" Chris said, jumping to his feet to shake the newcomer's
hand. "Hoped I'd see you today. Even if you are wearing THAT."
"Keep crying, Chris," Mike replied with a laugh as Andy watched on
with a smirk. "Yeah, they gave me a call, must've got my details from
Jacinta, said they wanted to interview me for a follow-up to the
article and, well, why not? I figure it'd be a great opportunity to
meet other, you know, 'similar' parents too, see if there's anything
more I can be doing for Jacinta."
"You're definitely in the right place for that!" Chris chuckled. "I'll
introduce you to everyone, but first, there's someone you DEFINITELY
have to meet! Michael Hanley, may I introduce you to Dr Beverly
'Sarah's mum' Phillips!"
"Ah," Mike said with a grin as he shook the middle-aged woman's hand.
"So you're the legendary Dr Phillips!"
"That's me!" Beverly said with a bashful chuckle. "And you're the
equally legendary Mike Hanley, the man who casually shrugged off his
daughter coming out... Twice, from what I understand?"
"Yep," Mike replied with a nonchalant shrug that made Chris and
Beverly chuckle. "Well- it's her life, isn't it? I'm not going to
dictate to Jacinta how she should live her life, same as you won't for
Nikki or Sarah. Though if you saw how hungover Jacinta was on Sunday,
sometimes I wish you'd try a bit."
"Not every day you turn 21," Chris shrugged. "God, just scary that I
actually HAVE a 21 year old child, heh."
"Thanks for reminding me that I have a twenty-TWO year old kid!" Mike
said with a snort of laughter.
"Just wait until your kids turn thirty and you get grandkids!" Raymond
said with a chuckle as he approached the trio. "Raymond Milton,
Stuart's dad- well, Stuart, Emma and Becca's dad- and this is my wife
Catherine."
"Nice to meet you," Mike said as he exchanged handshakes with the
Miltons. "Don't think I'll be worrying about grandkids anytime soon
though- Jacinta's my only child, and she's sterile now, so, well,
yeah."
"So are Stuart and Jamie," Catherine retorted. "Doesn't make Olivia
any less our grandchild than our other two."
"And if Nikki and Sarah ever adopt, their child will be 100% my
grandchild," Beverly interjected. "Though they will thankfully be
taking their time there!"
"And correct me if I'm wrong," Chris said, "but doesn't Ophelia
consider you to be her surrogate father too? So any children she has-"
"Yes, yes, okay, okay," Mike said with a snort of laughter as the
researcher arrived to collect his photographs. "Grandchildren are
great, etc. etc."
"Damn right they are!" Raymond chuckled as he led Mike to where they
were sat and introduced him to Mark and Susan.
"Well, I'm happy to just remain a parent for the next several years,"
Sean chuckled.
"Even though your stepson will be twenty-FIVE in a few months,"
Michelle reminded her fianc?.
"Thanks for the reminder," Sean snorted. "Are we waiting on anyone
else?"
"Couple of people, I think," Chris replied. "Stephanie Abbott's
parents are gonna be here. Oh, and the grandmother of that Welsh kid,
umm, Ian, I think his name was."
"That's someone who drew the short straw parents-wise, if what Laura
tells me is true," Michelle sighed. "And I've no reason to believe it
isn't, some people just aren't cut out to be parents, and some people
CERTAINLY aren't cut out to be parents of transgendered children."
"No, they're not," Andy whispered as the knot in his stomach grew ever
tighter.
----------
Pauline took a deep breath to ease her tired muscles as her car pulled
into the newspaper office's car park. It had been a long drive from
Cardiff, which was made only worse by the end of the drive being in
the congested streets of London. For a woman in her mid-seventies,
Pauline was in good shape, and much preferred driving to taking public
transport, but even she found herself regretting her decision to make
the trip. Her regret faded, though, when she entered the waiting room
where the other parents were, and she realised immediately that she
was among friends.
"Hello," Raymond said with a smile as he greeted Pauline with a
handshake. "You must be Pauline. I'm Raymond Milton, Stuart's dad."
"Oh yes," the elderly Welsh woman said with a wide, genuine smile of
her own. "Your son has been a great help to my Ian over the last few
months, make sure you thank him next time you see him!"
"I will," Raymond chuckled.
"Reminds me that I need to pass on my thanks to you to pass on to
Jamie," Chris said to Mark and Susan, who nodded and smiled
appreciatively. "That's what I love the most about this little
'family', the way everyone helps each other out no matter how well-off
or how famous they are."
"You can never have too many friends!" Susan chuckled.
"Nikki's certainly taken that lesson to heart," Chris said with a
proud smile. "I've got to admit, at first- heh, almost five years ago-
I was worried about her, worried that she was making a rash decision,
that she was going through a phase... Now, I really couldn't be
prouder of her if I tried. She does a lot of work talking with and
counselling girls who are going through what she's been through. I
understand your two girls are on that list too, right?"
"Yep!" Michelle replied. "Of course, Laura likes to think that she's
this grown-up, independent woman, but I know she has the occasional
chat with Nikki still."
"Andy?" Sean asked, breaking Andy's train of thought. "Does Ash chat
with Nikki that often?"
"Umm, sometimes, I think," Andy replied. "I- I don't check that
often." Or pay that much attention, Andy thought to himself, his shame
levels rising.
"If Nikki only helps one girl, it'd be worth it," Chris said. "She's
even been helping out a girl from America in recent months!"
"Not sure whether or not I should regret answering that email from
Debbie," Beverly chuckled. "Guess we'll find out when they come over
next week, heh."
"And of course, Laura helped Ashley a lot during her first few
months," Michelle said, making Andy's insides churn again. "Though she
has now got a little sister to look after too."
"So has Nikki," Chris shrugged. "I want her to be REALLY involved in
Jenny's life."
"How- how are you going to explain to your youngest about Nikki when
she grows up?" Andy asked, immediately regretting his question the
second the words left his mouth.
"...Well I would've thought you'd have some advice there, Andy!" Chris
replied with a chuckle. "Don't you have three younger children?"
"Four," Andy replied. "Three girls, one boy. And, um, and Ashley. So
five total."
"Lucky man!" Raymond chuckled. "Especially to have four girls, too."
"I- I'm a bit surprised to hear you say that, if you don't mind me
saying," Andy cautiously replied.
"Why do you say that?" Raymond asked.
"Well, you- you had three girls and no boys, right?" Andy asked.
"To begin with, yes," Raymond replied.
"Didn't- didn't you, you know, always want a son?" Andy asked.
"Maybe," Raymond replied with a shrug. "But I was blessed with three
healthy daughters, and only a fool would say no to that."
"I guess," Andy said, but before he could process the information, he
was interrupted by the arrival of the final people who had been
invited.
"Peter! Samantha!" Mark said with a smile, standing up and greeting
the newcomers with handshakes. "Nice to see you again."
"Likewise, Mark!" Peter replied with a chuckle. "Are we the last to
arrive?"
"Yep!" Mark replied. "Think they're going to do the photographs first,
then the interviews."
"Oh- speaking of," Samantha said, retrieving two small photographs
from her purse and smiling at them. "If only we knew then what we know
now, eh?"
"You said it," Mark sighed sadly as the researcher reappeared to
collect Samantha's photographs and lead the group through to the
photography studio, where a row of seats had been prepared for them.
Andy grimaced as he was ushered to his seat and handed two picture
frames, which contained black and white photocopies of the photographs
he'd handed over when he'd arrived. Eventually, all of the people
being interviewed were sat on the seats that had been provided and
their picture was taken as a group, before being separated and having
their pictures taken separately with the images of their children.
Andy was the fourth to have his picture taken, and as he sat in front
of the camera, he gazed over at Michelle and Sean disappearing into a
nearby room, making him dread what was to come next.
----------
"Hi, thanks for agreeing to this," the interviewer said as Michelle
and Sean sat down opposite her and made themselves comfortable. "If we
could just begin please with a little background information about the
two of you?"
"Okay," Michelle said. "My name's Michelle White, soon to be Michelle
Ruddock, I'm forty-five years old, I work part-time in a supermarket
and I have three children- Ricky and Laura by my first husband and my
stepdaughter Lily, who's Sean's daughter."
"And Laura is the child who's transgendered, right?" the interviewer
asked.
"Yep," Michelle replied. "I think I always knew from an early age that
there was something 'different' about her. She always seemed more
comfortable when she was around girls, she found 'traditionally male'
activities like football- well, not just unappealing, she outright
hated it. At first I thought it was a way of rebelling against her
brother, who is every bit a 'man's man' and did everything he could to
ensure that Laura would be the same. But after he moved out to join
the army, Laura's feminine tendencies just seemed to get stronger."
"As I understand it, it was you who approached Laura about her gender
identity, is that right?" the interviewer asked.
"Yep," Michelle replied. "It was during her last term of her last year
of primary school. Hard to believe that was five years ago, heh. I
asked her if she wanted to be a boy or a girl, and she said 'girl'
without hesitation."
"How did you feel when she gave you that answer?" the interviewer
asked.
"Relieved, if I'm honest," Michelle replied. "It was almost like- I
always knew there was something about Laura that I couldn't put my
finger on. That gave me the answer I needed, we then went to a doctor
who referred us to a counsellor who was able to confirm that she had
GID and we were able to proceed from there."
"Though the first year didn't go entirely smoothly, I understand?" the
interviewer asked, causing the middle-aged woman's face to pale.
"Those were probably the worst few days of my entire life," Michelle
said coldly. "When Laura was- was taken from me. It didn't even hurt
that much when my dad died. I didn't sleep at all until Laura was
returned to me, and even then I'd have nightmares. I- I'm sorry, I'd
rather not talk about this, can- can you give me a minute, please?"
"Of course," the interviewer said softly as Michelle took several deep
breaths to calm herself down. "Sean, I do have a few questions for
you, if you don't mind?"
"Shoot," Sean said as he gave his fianc?es hand a comforting squeeze.
"What's it like as a stepparent, coming into a family with a
transgendered child?" the interviewer asked.
"...Well," Sean sighed, his eyes widening as he tried to marshal his
thoughts. "That's definitely a broad question. I don't- don't really
think it'd be any different than becoming a stepparent in any other
circumstances. Laura was already very deeply, well, in her female
life, I already had a daughter I was raising by myself... If anything,
I had a harder time settling in with Michelle's older child, her son,
maybe because there's only 15 years age difference. I know that Lily
absolutely loves having Laura as a big sister."
"Laura feels the same way about Lily," Michelle whispered with a
smile.
"But how did it make you feel," the interviewer asked, "knowing that
you'd have a hand in raising someone who'd changed their gender?"
"If I'm honest," Sean said, "it sort-of gave me an extra feeling of
responsibility. Like, if there was anything extra I needed to know or
to take into consideration with regards to Laura. But as for personal
feelings- nope. Laura being transgendered doesn't affect me, doesn't
affect me at all. Even where I work, the other guys just see it as one
of those things."
"You work in a garage, don't you?" the interviewer asked.
"Yeah, I do van MOTs," Sean replied. "I know, I know, there's this
stereotype that we're all Britain First-supporting Neanderthals or
something. Nah. It's 2018. Some people need to live their lives as a
different gender to the one they were born into. Laura's one of those
people. Don't see why it needs to be any more complicated than that."
"Not everybody in Laura's life sees it that way, though," the
interviewer asked. "I won't ask anymore about the thing you don't want
me to ask about, but if I could go back to Laura's first year at
school, I understand that not everything went smoothly?"
"...There was some trouble with bullying," Michelle said. "Some of the
other children, they- well, it wasn't just the children, sometimes it
seemed the parents were worse than the children. There's this belief
that you can 'catch gay' or 'catch being transgendered' which is just
ridiculous. Laura is who she is, other children are who they are."
"But Laura has faced hostility from other children?" the interviewer
asked.
"Occasionally," Michelle replied quietly.
"How does that make you feel as a parent?" the interviewer asked.
"How would it make any parent feel, knowing your child's being
bullied?" Michelle replied with a snort. "The ironic thing is that the
'head' bully from Laura's first year is now one of her best friends.
And came out as gay herself not long ago. Part of me wonders whether
or not she'd ever have had the courage to do that if not for Laura."
"But do you feel, despite the bullying, that Laura's life is better
for having transitioned?" the interviewer asked.
"Definitely," Michelle replied instantly. "Without question. I look at
her I forget that she was ever a boy. And I think she sometimes
forgets too, and she's never happier than on those occasions."
"Thank you," the interviewer said with a smile as she moved onto the
next question on her clipboard.
----------
"Are you heading back tonight, Pauline?" Susan asked the elderly Welsh
woman as they helped themselves to the refreshments that had been
provided by the newspaper.
"I'm planning to, yes," Pauline replied. "It's always a long drive,
but better to do it tonight and rest up tomorrow. Plus, I know that if
I don't, Ian will get up to god knows what with that young lady of
his!"
"Ah," Susan said. "Boys- heh, I was going to say 'boys will be boys'
there, doesn't seem entirely appropriate somehow."
"In Ian's case, it certainly is," Pauline said with a snort of
laughter. "He'd probably take it as a compliment if you said that to
him, as well he should do."
"You did a great thing when you took him in," Susan said quietly. "I
don't know the whole story, but his- did his parents kick him out?"
"Only in as much as they made it impossible for Ian to live there
anymore," Pauline replied. "It was his choice to leave them, I was
happy to let him live with me."
"I see," Susan mumbled.
"What's wrong?" Pauline asked, sensing the younger woman's discomfort.
"It's just-" Susan said, before letting out a long sigh. "With Jamie,
it was the other way round, we- Mark and I booted her out when she was
sixteen. Heh, and when 'she' was still a 'he'."
"For being transgendered?" Pauline asked, surprised by Susan's
revelation.
"Jamie, she- she fell in with a bad crowd at school," Susan explained.
"They forced her to store drugs at our house, we blamed Jamie for
this, said she should've stood up to them more... The reality is that
we're the ones who should've done more to help her. We were never even
trying to have a child, but it just happened, and- ugh. I really don't
think we were cut out to be parents."
"Few people are," Pauline said reassuringly. "You do what you think's
best for your children. But you sometimes make mistakes. I know I made
mistakes with my daughter too, I spoiled her when she was young and
that gave her a sense of entitlement, and that in turn threatened to
ruin Ian's life."
"I just hope Jamie's a better mother than I was," Susan sighed.
"Though every time I see her with Olivia, I'm reassured that she will
be. It was her first birthday last month and Jamie threw a great party
for her with all her friends..."
"It's nice being a grandmother, isn't it?" Pauline asked with a grin.
"It takes some getting used to," Susan replied. "But I've definitely
enjoyed it so far!"
"It will only get better," Pauline said with a grin. "And from what I
know of your daughter, you don't have anything to worry about. Ian
sometimes shows me images she posts online of her and her daughter,
and it's clear that she puts Olivia's interests first and foremost."
"As any decent parent should," Susan said, not noticing Andy
approaching the refreshment table with a contemplative look on his
face.
----------
"I'm Malcolm Robertson," Malcolm said as the interviewer switched on
her recorder. "This is my wife Caroline, together we run a guest house
in Dumbarton and we've got three daughters- twin girls called Nina and
Trisha, who are 31, and Paige, who's 23. I'm assuming that Paige is
the one you're interested in today!"
"She is, yes," the interviewer replied with a smile. "Specifically,
what it's like to know that your child is undergoing such a
comprehensive change when she lives so far away from home."
"...It's not easy, that's for sure," Malcolm replied.
"It was worse when Paige was living in Paris," Caroline explained.
"As I understand," the interviewer asked, "at first, you weren't aware
that Paige had begun to transition, is that right?"
"That's right," Malcolm said. "Paige- well, 'Paul' said that she'd
moved to Paris for work but didn't go into any details, and whenever
we spoke to her 'she' always sounded masculine."
"But we were able to put two and two together when she mentioned
Jessica," Caroline continued. "We had a look on Facebook and found
Jessica's profile, and then, well, found 'Paige's too."
"That must have come as a shock to you," the interviewer asked.
"To put it mildly," Malcolm replied with a snort of laughter. "At
first I simply didn't believe what I was seeing. I mean, my only son,
living and working full-time as a woman?"
"Did it make you angry when you saw the pictures?" the interview
asked.
"At first," Malcolm said. "But the anger only lasted a short time,
then I was more disappointed than anything."
"Disappointed in Paige?" the interviewer asked.
"Yes, but not for why you think we were," Malcolm said.
"We were disappointed that she felt she couldn't confide in us,"
Caroline continued. "That she felt she needed to hide who she really
was from us. I mean, we're her parents, and what parents are we if our
own child can't trust us?"
"It was really hard, with her living hundreds of miles away," Malcolm
sighed. "But we came to the conclusion that next time we saw Paige,
we'd... Well, not so much 'confront' her but try to encourage her to
confide in us, so that she wouldn't need to hide anymore and we'd be
able to help her whenever she needed it."
"That was over two years ago, almost three," Caroline continued. "Now
it's like she's always been a woman. Sometimes I even find myself
thinking back on her childhood and it's like she was a girl even back
then."
"In a few weeks, she'll be going in for her final operation," Malcolm
said with a proud smile.
"How does that make you feel, as parents?" the interviewer asked.
"Knowing that your child will be permanently altering their body?"
"It's their body, it's their choice," Malcolm shrugged. "I know what
you might be expecting me to say, that it feels like I'm losing a son.
Except I haven't lost him. 'He's just become a 'she', that's all. I
don't love her any less and I'd like to think the reverse is true."
"There are a lot of parents who aren't as open-minded as you, though,"
the interviewer said. "Do you have any advice for them?"
"If your child- especially your grown-up child- says to you that they
feel the need to change their gender, first of all, listen to them,"
Malcolm said. "Because it's not going to be a decision they'll have
made overnight."
"And above all else, never stop loving them," Caroline said with a
confident nod of her head.
----------
"So then," Peter said with a grin as he sat down next to Mark. "I hear
you're enjoying a life of luxury while the rest of us still have to
work for a living?"
"Damn right I am," Mark replied with a satisfied chuckle. "You're
Steph's dad, right?"
"Technically dad AND granddad to a 'Steph', yep!" Peter replied with a
smug grin of his own. "But that's why I feel sort-of envious, you
getting to spend time with your grandchild whenever you want..."
"Are you far from retirement yourself?" Mark asked.
"Not THAT far," Peter replied. "Got the big six-oh next year, but with
the NHS the way it is, I'd kinda feel guilty if I retired now. Though
it's not just my granddaughter I want to spend time with- sometimes I
feel like I've barely had the chance to get to know my new daughter."
"It's hard, having to share your child with the rest of the country,"
Mark agreed. "Though what you said about 'getting to know your
daughter'... I barely knew my 'son' in the first place, heh."
"It's not easy," Peter commented. "Working and being a parent.
Especially if you work shifts, heh. And especially when everything you
thought you knew about your child suddenly turns out to be wrong."
"You got THAT right," Mark sighed. "Do you ever have any regrets?
About your kids, I mean, whether or not there was anything you
could've done differently, now that you know what you know?"
"Plenty," Peter sighed. "But there's no sense in dwelling in the past.
I see enough in my job to convince me that life's too short for
regrets or grudges."
"I guess," Mark said quietly. "Doesn't mean you shouldn't try to make
up for your mistakes, though?"
"I suppose not," Peter replied. "But every parent makes mistakes. You
just try to make sure that your kids don't make the same mistakes that
you did."
"No danger of that!" Mark replied with a proud grin.
----------
"I'm Michael Hanley," Mike said as the interviewer switched on her
recorder. "I'm 49, I'm the deputy manager of an electronics store in
Brighton and I have one child, a daughter named Jacinta. Who, yes, was
a son named Jason when she was born."
"Thanks for agreeing to this interview," the interviewer said. "I know
it's quite a long way to come."
"Not as far as the people who've come from Scotland and Wales," Mike
retorted. "Gives me a chance to see Jacinta this way."
"A lot of these questions may be sensitive," the interviewer
explained, "as a lot of them are centred on raising a transgendered
child as a lone parent."
"...Okay," Mike said with a nod as his emotions began to wobble at the
memory of his late wife. "Ask away."
"What was your first reaction when your daughter first came out to
you?" the interviewer asked.
"Well it was something I'd kind-of been able to prepare for," Mike
replied. "When Jacinta was sixteen, and still living as a boy, 'he'
came out as gay- by which I mean 'attracted to men'. And the clues
really were always there, 'Jason' had always been effeminate, growing
up she only ever had female friends at school, she was always
interested in things like fashion..."
"But how did it make you feel to learn that your son was going to be
your daughter?" the interviewer asked.
"Honestly?" Mike replied. "I felt happy. I genuinely did feel happy
for Jacinta. She's much more comfortable, much happier as a girl than
she ever was as a boy. As a boy, she was always sort-of anxious, sort-
of on edge. It was only by becoming a girl that she seemed to be who
she really was all along."
"Have you ever thought about how your wife- Jacinta's mother- would
have reacted to her child coming out?" the interviewer asked, making
Mike frown and bite his lip.
"...All the time," Mike confessed. "Amelia- my wife- was the most
warm-hearted and loving person I know and she adored Jac- well,
'Jason', so I have no doubt that she'd adore Jacinta as well, but I
still wonder just exactly how she'd react to the news, whether she'd
be excited, whether she'd be concerned... I do know though that
wherever Amelia is, she's looking down on Jacinta and smiling. Even if
she does occasionally drink a bit too much."
"Do you ever wish that you'd had help raising Jacinta, though?" the
interviewer asked.
"Sometimes," Mike replied. "The only help I ever wanted, though, was
Amelia's. And the times I had with Jacinta? They were pretty good as
they were. Other than that, I can honestly say that I wouldn't change
a thing."
----------
"Are you two heading back to Scotland now?" Sean asked Malcolm and
Caroline as they got themselves a drink and took a seat, tired from
their grilling.
"No, we're sticking around for another day," Malcolm replied.
"We rarely get to see Paige as it is," Caroline explained. "Not going
to waste this opportunity while we've got it!"
"Very understandable," Michelle said. "When my oldest was in the Army
I'd make the most of every second he was on leave. Well, when he
wasn't tormenting Laura, anyway..."
"Yeah, our eldest two used to tease Paige a lot when she was younger,"
Malcolm said, before grimacing as Michelle's face fell into a deep
frown. "...Though I get the impression that your oldest went a bit
beyond harmless teasing."
"Winding Laura up to the point of hysteria for his own twisted
amusement isn't what I'd call 'harmless'," Michelle said in a low
growl.
"Now that Laura's sixteen, she's able to handle it a bit better," Sean
explained. "But now he's taken to picking on Lily as well...
Fortunately, Laura's a much better big sister than he is a big
brother."
"Ricky's dad was around until Ricky was ten," Michelle said. "I
sometimes think that's partly to blame. But I can't help but think
that I did a much better job with Laura than I did with him."
"Even despite the, you know, 'change'?" Caroline asked.
"Because of the 'change'," Michelle replied, before sighing and
letting out a tired chuckle. "I dunno. Maybe I just worry too much,
heh."
"You never stop worrying," Caroline reassured the younger woman.
"That's what makes a mother a great mother."
"Our oldest two are over thirty and we still panic about them if they
wait too long between phone calls," Malcolm chuckled. "And they live
only a few miles from us and don't jet off to all corners of the world
for work!"
"I think I'd have a panic attack if Laura ever got on a train by
herself, let alone a plane," Michelle chuckled.
"You'd have every right to, what you went through," Sean said.
"...Though I'd feel the same way about Lily, heh. Doesn't help that
she's found your daughter and her friends' Instagram accounts and now
she reckons she wants to be a stewardess, heh."
"Oh, well, we could always introduce her to Paige and her fianc?e, get
them to show her the tricks of the trade maybe?" Malcolm offered.
"...Probably no point, Lily will probably want to be something else
this time next week," Sean chuckled. "She's deep in the middle of the
dreaded 'ballerina phase' at the moment too, heh."
"Aye, I remember that one from our older two all too well!" Malcolm
chuckled.
"And our younger one on a weekly basis if her Facebook's to be
believed!" Caroline said with a giggle.
"And Laura too, though it's less a 'phase' and more 'prospective
career', heh," Michelle said. "Though she DOES work hard at it, heh."
"If you want the ultimate in 'ballerina phases', though," Sean said,
chuckling as he gestured toward Andy, who gave a surprised stare as he
was suddenly brought into the conversation. "...Your daughter? The one
who's obsessed with dancing?"
"Ashley- Ashley isn't..." Andy mumbled, before a look of realisation
spread across his face. "Oh, oh you mean Cassie, right?"
"...You've got four daughters, I think we can let off that one," Sean
chuckled. "We were wondering if Cassie's still in a 'ballerina
phase'?"
"Doubt she'll ever not be," Andy replied with a snort of laughter.
"Doubt Ashley won't be, either..." Sean, Michelle and the older
Scottish couple all grimaced as a dark look fell over Andy's face.
"Didn't- didn't I hear that Ashley was interested in become a stew-
umm, a flight attendant when she's older?" Sean asked.
"It's something she- it's something Ashley's thinking of doing, yes,"
Sean replied. "Ashley's getting good grades in French and German at
school, so, umm, yeah..."
"I'll have to ask Paige if she can give your daughter some pointers
then," Malcolm shrugged, grimacing awkwardly as Andy quietly nodded.
"It's- it's not a bad career..."
"Yep," Andy said, before standing up and trying his hardest not to
fidget. "Umm, excuse me, I just- I just need to, umm, find a
toilet..."
"...What was that all about?" Malcolm asked after the younger man had
left earshot.
"Andy, he..." Michelle replied, before letting out a long sigh. "He
and Ash haven't exactly... Had the smoothest time since she came out
to him. And that's putting it mildly, believe me."
"Ashley a bit of a troublemaker, then?" Caroline asked.
"No," Michelle replied. "Trust me, it's not her that's the problem..."
----------
"I'm Chris Thomas," the middle-aged man said as he got comfortable in
his seat. "I'm forty-six, I'm a self-employed taxi driver, I'm married
and me and my wife have two children, Nikki, who's twenty-one, and
Jenny, who's three. Well, three children if you include Nikki's wife
Sarah. Which me and my wife do."
"From what I understand, Nikki's been transitioning since she was
sixteen," the interviewer asked, continuing after Chris nodded in
agreement. "How did it feel as a parent to hear your child- at the
time, your only child- make that kind of announcement?"
"If I'm honest," Chris replied with a sigh, "it blindsided me. I'd
never even considered that Nikki- well, 'Nick' as she was back then-
was anything other than 100%, well, 'normal' if you'll forgive me
using that word. The fact that she'd been going out with her
girlfriend- now her wife- for over a year just reinforced that."
"So were you upset when Nikki came out?" the interviewer asked.
"At first," Chris replied. "I didn't know what to think, but when I
thought it through, and saw how much happier Nikki was as a girl, I
realised that it was for the best. And more than that, it was what she
wanted for her life. And it was HER life. I've always thought that a
parent's job is to guide and support their child, not control them. I
could've forced Nikki to stop being a girl, but what kind of father
would I be if I did that?"
"And now Nikki is post-operative, right?" the interviewer asked.
"Yep," Chris replied with a sigh.
"How did that make you feel?" the interviewer asked. "Knowing that
your child has made irreversible changes to their body?"
"I see it as the irreversible change having happened when Nikki took
her first hormone pill," Chris shrugged. "She may have been 16 at the
time but she knew what she was doing and she knew that she needed to
do this. And as I said, my job is to support, not to control or to
judge or anything like that."
"Not every member of your family agreed with you though, did they?"
the interviewer asked, making Chris frown and sigh.
"Not everyone, no," Chris mumbled. "My- my dad reacted VERY badly.
Threatened to cut off contact with us..."
"How did that make you feel?" the interviewer asked.
"Really, really bad," Chris sighed. "I love- well, loved my dad. Sure,
he was old-fashioned, but I always thought that I got all my values
from him, things like common decency, that sort of thing, and it made
me question for the first time, you know? For the first time I didn't
look up to my dad as, like, 'the boss'."
"Did you have a close relationship with your father up to that point?"
the interviewer asked.
"Pretty close," Chris shrugged. "We used to go to Hammers games
together when I was younger, he taught me how to drive- hell, he was
the one I turned to for advice when Nikki was born."
"Do you blame Nikki for your relationship with your father
deteriorating?" the interviewer asked.
"No, absolutely not," Chris replied. "Nikki can't help being
transgendered, nobody can. But you can help the way you act toward
people who are transgendered. It's like the old saying, no one chooses
to be black but you do choose to be racist, you know? And did come
round in the end, before he passed away."
"You said you had a younger child as well?" the interviewer asked.
"Yeah, a little girl called Jenny," Chris replied with a smile. "Just
turned three in January. Nikki absolutely spoils her rotten, heh."
"Have you thought about how'll you explain to her when she's older
that her older sister used to be a boy?" the interviewer asked.
"A few times," Chris replied. "It's the sort of thing where you say
'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'. It's kinda like the
whole 'Santa' thing, I remember explaining to Nikki when she was nine
that Santa wasn't real and she just took it in her stride, like she
always knew. I reckon when we explain to Jenny about her sister she'll
be the same. I hope she will, anyway."
"And if she isn't?" the interviewer asked.
"...Then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Chris said
confidently.
----------
"So then, have you been grilled yet?" Mike asked Beverly as they met
at the refreshments table.
"Not yet," the middle-aged woman replied. "They said they only wanted
me for a 'professional eye', might ask some questions about having a
transgendered daughter-in-law if there's time. I set aside the whole
morning to come here, though."
"Do you have that many clients?" Mike asked.
"Enough that I have a waiting list," Beverly replied, smirking as
Mike's eyes went wide with surprise.
"I guessed you might," Mike chuckled. "I did do some reading up after
Jacinta came out, on 'statistics' as well as more practical ways to
help her."
"Jacinta's said that yes," Beverly confirmed.
"...Aren't you breaking doctor-patient confidentiality by telling me
that?" Mike teased, smirking as Beverly let out a quiet giggle.
"It's hardly a secret that Jacinta thinks highly of you, and is
grateful for everything you've done for her," Beverly replied. "And
from what I've heard, she should be. You'd be depressed by the amount
of young men and women I talk to who are simply discarded by their
parents simply for being who they want to be. Even if they don't kick
their kids out, they sometimes coerce them, even emotionally blackmail
them. And why? Because they feel they're failures just because their
child is transgendered?"
"It's just my humble opinion," Mike shrugged, "but if you give your
child unconditional love and support when they transition, then that's
what makes you a success."
"You won't get any argument from me," Beverly said with a smile.
"When- when are you heading back to Brighton?"
"Probably later this afternoon," Mike replied. "Want to check in on
Jacinta first, also see if Ophelia's okay."
"Ah, of course," Beverly said with a smile. "Your 'other daughter'."
"And new 'other son-in-law'," Mike chuckled.
"Have you met Telemachus yet?" Beverly asked.
"Just once, at Christmas," Mike replied. "Enough to get a first
impression but nothing more."
"Well if it helps, Sarah thinks he's alright," Beverly said, before
biting her lip and carefully considering her next words. "Ophelia's
lucky to have a surrogate father like you."
"I'm lucky to have a surrogate daughter like Ophelia," Mike said with
a smile. "Guess that's the thing about being a single parent, you have
to love your children twice as much, you 'd think there wouldn't be
any left over but the opposite's the truth."
"I can definitely agree with that," Beverly said with a smile. "So
did- did you never meet anyone else, then? I mean after-"
"No one could ever come close," Mike replied. "And I had Jacinta to
think about first and foremost. You?"
"Oh, plenty of men would've been better than my husband," Beverly
snorted. "But yes, I had to think of Sarah first and foremost too. I
did 'look' for a bit, but couldn't find anyone, you know."
"Yeah," Mike said with a smile. "Don't think I'd ever find anyone like
my Amelia. Though knowing her, I'm sure she wouldn't want me to be
alone the rest of my life, especially now that Jacinta's moved out..."
"Yeah," Beverly said, leading to an awkward silence between the two.
"Umm..." Mike said hesitantly. "Do- do you want, umm, to get- to get
some lunch after we get out of here? I mean-"
"That'd be nice," Beverly replied with a smile as she and Mike headed
back to the seating area.
Meanwhile, unnoticed by either Mike or Beverly, Andy stood and
pondered the older man's words, specifically his comments about what
made a successful parent...
----------
"I'm Pete Abbott, this is my wife Samantha," Peter said to the
interviewer. "We both work for the NHS, I'm an ambulance driver, my
wife's a nurse, and we have three children: Thomas, Daniel and
Stephanie."
"Stephanie of course being a member of Out of Heaven," the interviewer
said, smiling as the two proud parents nodded. "If I understand the
timeline of events, Stephanie joined Out of Heaven before she began to
fully transition, and while she was still living with you, right?"
"Right," Samantha replied. "It's all quite complicated, how the whole
thing started."
"It's also well-documented," the interviewer said. "What I'm most
interested in today is the two of you, how you, as Stephanie's
parents, coped with everything, with the responsibility of having a
child who's not just transitioning, but transitioning in such a public
way?"
"It was difficult," Samantha confessed. "You want to do everything you
can to help your child, but-" Samantha let out a long, tired sigh as
her husband took over for her.
"But Stephanie, bless her, didn't exactly make life easy for herself,"
Peter sighed. "Especially during the time she disappeared for months
on end."
"It does sometimes feel like we only find things out about our own
daughter by seeing them written about her on the internet," Samantha
said.
"How did you react when you first found out about Stephanie?" the
interviewer asked.
"When we first found out that she was living as a woman?" Peter asked.
"We were sort-of prepared for it."
"Stephanie- well, 'Steve'- was always different from her brothers,"
Samantha said. "Tom is a man's man, a former squaddie, Danny was
always the 'class clown', but Steph was different, quieter. More
interested in staying in her room, listening to her music than going
out and having fun like Tom and Danny."
"And yes, in hindsight, it's obvious she wasn't just listening to
music," Peter said.
"But what was the single biggest emotion you felt when you learned
that your son was going to be your daughter?" the interviewer asked.
"...Shock," Peter confessed. "It's not something I'd ever thought
would happen to us. But once we'd accepted that it had happened to us,
we were able to move on and deal with it."
"And how did you deal with it?" the Interviewer asked.
"By accepting our new daughter," Samantha replied. "It doesn't matter
if she wears trousers or a skirt, she's still our child, and we will
love her regardless."
"Though our life did get a lot less quiet from then on," Peter
confessed. "You're hardly the first people to have asked us for
interviews, normally we just turn you down without even considering
the interview."
"We only did this one as other parents would be here too," Samantha
clarified. "And because you didn't ask the usual questions we get
asked: 'did you threaten to disown Stephanie' and so forth."
"But the story put out was that you HAD disowned Stephanie," the
interviewer reminded the older couple. "At least, when the band was
first founded."
"And that hurt us more than anything," Samantha said. "Stephanie being
'creative with the truth'. Believing that our love for her is
conditional on her being a particular gender when it isn't."
"It was almost like she was scared of telling us," Peter said with a
frown. "No child should ever be scared of their parents."
"Especially not someone who can sing on stage in front of twenty
thousand people!" Samantha said. "Or appear on TV in front of
millions. If she can do that, but can't trust us with the truth... It
says a lot."
"In truth, we'd always wanted a girl," Peter said. "We were in our
late thirties when Stephanie was born and already had two rowdy boys."
"Not that we're saying that Stephanie is our favourite child,"
Samantha said. "We love all three equally, even when they're falling
out."
"Was there much falling out after Stephanie came out?" the interviewer
asked. "In her blog and interviews she's done, she talks about some
initial friction with her brothers but doesn't go into detail about
it."
"And neither will we," Peter said firmly. "Stephanie chose to be a
public figure, Tom and Danny didn't and, as I hope we've already
established, neither have we. We're happy to answer questions about
her but not our other children."
"I understand," the interviewer said.
"What's most important is that Stephanie will never stop being our
child," Samantha said firmly. "And we will never stop loving her, no
matter what some people might think."
----------
"Your turn next, Andy?" Sean asked as Andy returned to the waiting
area following his comfort break.
"Hopefully," Andy sighed. "Really don't feel comfortable being here."
"You're among friends, aren't you?" Sean shrugged. "Okay, you're
probably the youngest person here, but you're only a few years younger
than me, and everyone else is-"
"That's not why I'm uncomfortable," Andy said, making Sean and
Michelle frown and fidget in their seats.
"I see," Michelle whispered. "Couldn't Clare have come today instead?"
"She's busy looking after Eddy," Andy replied. "And she, umm... We
think she might be pregnant again."
"Oh- oh, really?" Michelle asked, a smile instantly spreading across
her face.
"Oh, well done, mate!" Sean said with a grin as he shook Andy's hand.
"Know any details yet? Due date?"
"December, probably," Andy replied. "Assuming it's not, you know, a
false alarm... After five kids, you know..."
"Can imagine," Sean chuckled. "You and Clare never thought about
having, you know, 'permanent precautions' done?"
"...No," Andy said darkly. "Having one man in my family being neutered
is enough."
"What other man do you-" Michelle said, before frowning as she
realised who Andy was referring to. "Oh. You mean Ashley, right?"
"Yeah," Andy replied, before cringing at the disapproving looks on his
friends' faces and the awkward silence that suddenly filled the room.
"...If you want to go home, I'm sure the interviewers would
understand," Michelle said, barely disguising the judgemental tone of
her voice. "If talking about your child makes you feel uncomfortable."
"I know if I had five, potentially six children, I'd never stop
talking about them," Sean said, before sighing. "We should get going
now, I've got to be at work this afternoon. See you 'round, Andy."
"Yeah, bye," Andy mumbled as he felt the sting of Sean's words inside
his chest.
Andy had always stated that he'd considered his children to be a
blessing, and he'd always believed that he believed that, but doubt
was quickly growing in his mind. When Ashley had been born, he'd been
overjoyed to have a son, and when his next three children turned out
to be girls, he thought he'd been as happy as he'd been with Ashley.
However, when his fifth child was born, another boy, Andy had been
ecstatic, and in hindsight, he had to admit to himself that he'd been
happier than he'd been for any of his three daughters. Andy had
initially thought that it was only natural for a father to be more
enthusiastic about having a son than a daughter, but he was forced to
face the possibility that that might not be the case- just as he was
forced to face the possibility that he may not have treated Ashley as
well as he should.
When Ashley had come out to her family, Andy had been heartbroken.
He'd had countless plans for things he and Ashley would do as father
and son- going to football matches together, teaching Ashley how to
shave, teaching him how to drive, giving fatherly advice ahead of his
first date- all of which had been cruelly snatched away. Andy would
have to wait another twelve years before he could enjoy the father-son
activities with his second son, which caused him to believe that
Ashley was the most selfish person in the world. After spending the
morning speaking with the other parents, and hearing about their
unconditional pride in their children, he began to wonder whether or
not he was the selfish one...
----------
"My name is Pauline Jones," the elderly Welsh woman said into the tape
recorder. "I'm retired, and I live in Cardiff along with my only
grandchild Ian."
"How long has Ian been living with you?" the interviewer asked.
"Just over eighteen months," Pauline replied. "Ian was originally
living with his parents in London, but came to live with me before
starting college."
"Because he's transgendered?" the interviewer asked, causing Pauline
to ponder for a second.
"...If you're putting it simply, then yes," Pauline answered. "Ian's
only realistic choices were to live at home with his parents, but live
as a girl, or come to live with me and be able to live as a boy. He
chose the second option."
"Do you feel that was the best choice for Ian?" the interviewer asked.
"Yes, without any doubt," Pauline replied. "Even if he had been
allowed to transition he would not have had a good life if he had
stayed with his parents."
"What makes you say that?" the interviewer asked, diverting from her
prepared questions at the unexpected information.
"Ian's parents were not fit to raise children," Pauline said candidly.
"Ian's father, if you can call him that, has less spine than a
jellyfish, and his mother- my daughter- is an overbearing 'stage
mother' who sees Ian more as a pension plan than as a child."
"So Ian's childhood wasn't a happy one?" the interviewed probed. "Even
before being forced to live life as the wrong gender?"
"That's right," Pauline replied. "I refuse to go into details but I
will say that Ian was regularly depressed as a child."
"But did you think when Ian was a child, that his depression was a
result of gender identity issues?" the interviewer asked.
"...I will admit, that thought had not crossed my mind," Pauline
replied. "At first, I put it down to simply being a teenager, but in
the months before Ian began to transition, there were an increasing
number of clues."
"Such as?" the interviewer asked.
"When Ian cut his hair short," Pauline replied. "You could say it was
just the action of a rebellious teenager, but most teenagers regret
their actions like that. Ian seemed much happier the less feminine he
was, so when he came to me and explained that he wanted to transition,
it didn't come as a total shock."
"So what was your main feeling when Ian announced that he wanted to
transition?" The interviewer asked.
"My main feeling was 'how am I going to support my grandchild through
this?'," Pauline replied. "There was no sense in being offended by it,
it was Ian's decision and I had to decide how I would support him
through this, especially as it became clear that no one else was going
to support him."
"How it feel to have to defend your grandson against your own
daughter?" the interviewer asked.
"Honestly?" Pauline replied. "I felt ashamed. Not of my daughter, and
certainly not of Ian, but of myself. I had thought that I had raised
Angela to be more accepting, more tolerant. As it turned out, I had
made her spoiled and entitled. She believed that she had the right to
dictate to Ian how he should live his life. That is not how any parent
should think."
"How did it feel to suddenly have responsibility for a child again at
your time of life?" the interviewer asked.
"...Well it's not like Ian's a baby," Pauline replied. "He was sixteen
when he came to live with me and was already a very independent young
man. If anything, he helps me around the house."
"Do you feel that Ian's parents have abandoned their parental
responsibility by refusing at accept Ian as he is?" the interviewer
asked.
"Absolutely," Pauline replied firmly. "A child is not a possession,
not a pet to be trained to do tricks or to sit in a corner being quiet
and looking pretty. They must be allowed to find their own way.
Guiding is alright, but never forcing and especially never telling
them that you love them less simply because they are gay or
transgendered."
----------
"Ah, wondered when you'd show up!" Peter said to his oldest son as he
arrived with his fianc?e and infant daughter.
"Yeah, sorry," Tom chuckled. "You know how the traffic is. You been
interviewed yet?"
"Just got out," Samantha said as she scooped her granddaughter up in
her arms and gave her a gentle cuddle. "Ahh... Been looking forward to
this all week!"
"Hope you can spare a hug for the 'other' Stephanie?" Peter and
Samantha's daughter asked, giggling as she exchanged a hug with both
of her parents (and a gentle cuddle with her niece).
"Steph!" Peter said with a grin. "What are you doing here? I thought
you were recording today?"
"It helps to know the boss!" A loud, booming African voice announced
as he walked through the door and made a beeline for Peter. "Joshua
Benedict. I believe we have met before?"
"A couple of times, yes!" Peter chuckled as he shook the dark-skinned
businessman's hand. "Why are you here today?"
"To take you all to lunch, of course!" Joshua laughed. "I couldn't not
take the opportunity to celebrate such amazing men and women who have
done so much for their children. Especially with Mothering Sunday this
weekend! Speaking of which, where are Jamie's parents?"
"Being interviewed now," Samantha replied. "This is very generous of
you, Mr. Benedict."
"Please, call me Joshua!" the tall man replied with a booming laugh.
"And it is the least I could do. Sometimes I feel you do not get
enough credit! A lunch shall go some small way to rectifying that."
"...I'm not going to say no to a free meal!" Peter replied with a
chuckle. "Thank you for your offer, we accept."
"Excellent!" Joshua laughed. "We shall wait for Jamie's parents then
we shall leave and eat. Is anyone due to be interviewed after Jamie's
parents?"
"I think Stuart's parents are in there at the same time," Peter
replied. "And there's one more after them, but I don't think he'd be
too interested in coming with us."
----------
"I'm Mark Travis, this is my wife Susan," Mark said as the
interviewer's recorder started. "I'm retired and we have one child, a
daughter called Jamie, and one grandchild called Olivia."
"I'm Raymond Milton," Raymond said once his friend had stopped
talking. "This is my wife Catherine, I'm also retired and we have
three children, two girls named Emma and Rebecca and a boy named
Stuart, and three grandchildren- one of whom is the same Olivia that
Mark mentioned."
"And, of course, Jamie and Stuart- Olivia's parents- are both post-
operative transsexuals," Mark said with a tired chuckle. "Though I
doubt there are many people in the UK who DON'T know that by this
point."
"Your children have also been transitioning for longer than anyone
else we've spoken to today," the interviewer said. "I believe that
Jamie started transitioning aged 19, and is now 26, and Stuart started
aged 16 and is now 27?"
"28," Catherine corrected the interviewer. "It was his birthday last
week."
"And their daughter is one, right?" the interviewer asked, smirking as
all four grandparents beamed proud smiles.
"They're a great family," Susan said with a smile.
"How did it feel to see your children become parents themselves?" the
interviewer asked. "Specifically, how did it feel to see someone you
raised as a son become a mother, and someone you raised as a daughter
become a father?"
"No different than when our other grandchildren were born," Raymond
replied. "The only difference is that Olivia was adopted, but even
that difference is trivial."
"We're concerned for them, of course," Susan said. "Becoming a new
parent is a big change, the biggest change- possibly even bigger than
their, well, 'other changes'. I think Jamie herself said the same
thing once. But we're confident that they'll be the best possible
parents for that little girl."
"You have to understand that Stuart has been our son for twelve years
now," Catherine explained. "That's almost half of his life. The notion
that he'd be anything other than a father is the strange one to us."
"It's the same for Jamie," Mark confirmed.
"That brings me onto my next question," the interviewer said, "looking
back on when your children first came out, how have your feelings
changed regarding their transition?"
"...That's a tricky one," Mark said. "Six years is a long time,
especially as we- umm..."
"We hadn't had much contact with Jamie in the three years before she
began transitioning," Susan said in a quiet, almost ashamed voice.
"And we didn't react as well as we could have at first," Mark
confessed. "But Jamie had always had a... A troubled childhood. We'd
never really thought about having children, so when Jamie came along,
we weren't exactly prepared."
"We actually get on better with 'Jamie' than we ever did with
'James'," Susan explained. "But the thing is, it's got nothing really
to do with the difference between 'male' and 'female' but rather the
difference between 'child' and 'adult'."
"It was like we were meeting a whole new person," Mark explained.
"Especially after our, umm, estrangement... I tried to rationalise it
at first that Jamie was different person than my son had been- not
just effectively, but literally- but as I got to know Jamie again, I
realised that she was a genuinely good person, and someone I'd be
proud to call my child. The fact that she'd changed her gender was
shocking at first- maybe even offensive when I was first confronted
with it- but over time, that fact has grown less and less important.
Nowadays it barely even registers."
"We feel the same way about Stuart," Catherine said. "Most of the time
I find it hard to, for want of a better way of wording it, to
reconcile the fact that our son is the same person we'd raised as our
daughter for the first sixteen years of her life."
"He'd always been a tomboy," Raymond agreed. "But there's a difference
between 'tomboy' and 'boy'. And it's perfectly obvious that male is
the gender he was always meant to be. Male is his 'real' gender as far
as we're concerned."
"Sometimes when I remember Stuart's childhood," Catherine said, "I
actually remember him as a little boy, rather than a girl."
"...Sorry, think we might have 'over-answered' your question there,"
Mark chuckled.
"On the contrary, the more detail, the better!" the interviewer
giggled. "Was there a specific moment when things 'switched' in your
brain, when their chosen genders became their 'real' ones?"
"Not really," Raymond replied. "Like I said, Stuart was always a
tomboy. His first coming out, on his sixteenth birthday, was abrupt,
but it didn't seem too, well, 'jarring'."
"Stuart still attended school as a girl, but as a girl wearing
trousers instead of a skirt," Catherine explained. "Then over summer,
he changed his name, began taking the hormone replacement
treatments..."
"I suppose maybe his first surgery," Raymond sa