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Baby Smile Prologue Being made redundant is often a life changing experience and while I was initially disappointed, the fact that I got a big pay out and didn't need to work for some time sweetened the deal. It also coincided with my wife being given an opportunity to work abroad, something we had always dreamed about. Her new job was going to pay well and I would still be able to do freelance work from home if necessary, so life was good. Month One Not long after arriving, the news that we were expecting our first child was both exciting and nerve wracking. We were in a new house, in a new town, in a new country and didn't really know anyone yet. Getting support was going to be hard. I suppose it was of some benefit that I had not yet been able to find work. At least that way I could raise the child while my wife continued to work, that's assuming the company she worked for supported her. Fortunately they seemed to be quite pro- family and we were reassured all would be taken care of. With my redundancy package we didn't really have any money worries and were able to prepare comfortably for the new arrival. We prepared as best we could, but as we were both only children, we didn't have much experience to base our preparations on. Month Two The early days of the pregnancy seemed quite easy for both of us, but after some weeks, over the space of a few days I found myself scratching my chest increasingly often and I was concerned that there was something wrong. There was no obvious rash and the only redness was where I had been scratching myself. I mentioned this to Jill who also noticed that there was some significant swelling around the nipple area. This concerned both of us as my mother had had breast cancer and it was not unknown in men so we went to see a doctor. We hadn't previously registered with one, but this was through Jill's work and the doctor was the same one she was seeing for her pregnancy. The prognosis was not what I expected. There was no evidence of any cancerous growth and the only thing the doctor could come up with was that perhaps I was suffering from latent gynocomastia. I had no idea what this was so he explained that some men have a propensity to grow breast tissue. This was probably genetic but he had no idea what had kick started this and could only imagine it was to do with my wife's pregnancy. I was pleased it wasn't cancer, but mildly perturbed about the prognosis. The doctor prescribed me some cream which I was to smear on the affected area before I went to bed each evening. He hoped this might alleviate the growth. Month Three Over the next few weeks life carried on as normal as we settled into our new lives. Applying the cream was not a hassle but it did leave a tingling sensation, and whenever I ran out of the cream I was able to get a repeat prescription quite easily. However, despite applying the cream daily as directed, the swelling continued to grow. Thankfully nothing was noticeable when I was dressed, only when I took my top off so it didn't affect my life too much. There were two other developments. It appeared that applying the cream had a side effect of reducing hair growth, and when I scratched or rubbed my chest, the hair began to come away easily. I wasn't really worried about this, after all, it would grow back. The other development was that due to the swelling, my nipples began to get a lot more sensitive. Again, nothing much to worry about, but it was uncomfortable. Month Four As the swelling had continued to develop, we returned to the doctor. He confirmed his prognosis from the previous visit and again prescribed some cream, this time apparently of a stronger dosage. I continued to apply the cream following the instructions, but the irritation was getting almost unbearable. My wife came up with a solution to the irritation, not to prevent it, but to enable me to cope with it. She came back from work one day via a high street store and handed me a bag. "Try these for size," she said. "I know it's a little 'out there' but the material should feel much more comfortable on your skin." Opening the bag I found some silk camisoles, like vests but much more delicate. I had seen my wife wearing similar items in the past. Thank fully these were not so feminine looking and had no additional lace or patterning. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Well, why don't you try one on? If it doesn't help then I can take them back." I took off my shirt and slipped one of the camisoles over my head. It fitted well and when I put the shirt on, the difference was noticeable, it felt much more comfortable. "Is that better?" Jill asked. "Much better, thank you, although it does feel a bit unusual." "Well, if it helps you feel more comfortable and less irritated so much the better. I tried to get plain colours so you have one white, one black and one in what they can 'nude'. They came with free matching briefs. You can wear them if you want, but you don't have to. If you do wear them, I won't think it weird, I always like wearing matching underwear!" And that was that, the first time I wore women's underwear. It made a lot of sense and both the camisoles and the briefs felt comfortable. Jill didn't seem to mind and nobody would notice. Month Five As the pregnancy progressed so did my swelling. We developed a habit each night of applying cream to each other. I would apply 'anti-stretch mark' moisturiser to Jill's expanding belly, she would apply my cream to my chest. I am not sure if Jill's cream had the desired effect, but mine didn't seem to and the swelling increased until it got to a point where it looked like I had breasts. I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable with this and suggested to Jill that we return to the doctor. He was surprised by the continued growth, but maintained his prognosis and said there wasn't really much he could do other than increase the dosage of the cream. We talked about other options, including getting them removed, but his advice was against surgery. In his opinion the growth was likely to stop, if not reverse, once the pregnancy had run its course and my wife's hormones changed again. He suggested meeting again once the baby was born. His parting comment of 'enjoy them while you have them' wasn't really helpful. Not only did I now have the discomfort from the more sensitive nipples, I could now feel the weight of the obvious breast growth. Jill's solution to this was to buy me some more vest tops, but these ones had built in support. I was apprehensive about wearing them, but immediately felt the difference when I put one on. Even though my 'breasts' were quite small, the impact of the support was definitely noticeable. Something else was definitely noticeable, as my nipples became more sensitive, so they became more erogenous, a fact that Jill discovered one night when applying my cream. This was to both our benefits! Month Six Life and the pregnancy continued smoothly, but so did the breast growth. We decided against going back to the doctor as we felt he would only repeat himself. We did some checking up on line and it would appear that I wasn't the first case for this kind of development so we left it at that. However, due to the breast growth the vest tops I was wearing were become much tighter. Jill took some measurements and confirmed that I now had AA cup breasts. I wasn't really sure what that meant, but I did recognise that there was no avoiding the word 'breasts', these were no longer swellings. One day, Jill came back from work and sat me down. "Listening, darling. This moment is an important one in any young girl's life and it will be no different for you. I understand you will be apprehensive, but I really think it will help with your discomfort." "I'm not really sure I understand," I replied. "Then let me explain," she said, reaching into one of the bags she had with her. She pulled out a bra, "I think this is the moment to give you your first bra." "My first what?" I responded aghast. "Your first bra. You can carry on going braless if you wish, but believe me it will get uncomfortable. Come on darling, try it on. I am just trying to help you." "Really?" "Really," she replied, "I do think this will help." So, stripping off my top, my wife showed me different ways to put a bra on and I put on a bra for the first time. "Wow, that does make a difference, it's much more comfortable," I said. "I'm glad. Now put your top on and see what it looks like." I put my shirt back on and was dismayed to see that it was obvious, with the support the bra offered, that I had breasts. I looked downhearted and explained why. "Well perhaps only wear the bras indoors so that you can benefit from the support. When you go out, go braless and wear baggy tops," was her solution. I reluctantly agreed, recognising the comfortable support the bra offered, however, as the weeks continued I became more and more self- conscious about my breast growth and less inclined to go out. Month Seven Despite the continued application of the cream, my breasts continued to grow and after a while I no longer found the training bras comfortable. I am guessing Jill noticed but she waited for me to say. "So, are you asking me to buy you some new bras," she said, with a glint in her eyes. "Yes please," I replied, rolling my eyes, realising what she was getting at. She smiled and kissed me. The following day she returned from work with a bag from one of the high street shops. She reached in and handed me a two pack of t-shirt bras in white and black. Following her suggestion, I pulled off the t- shirt I was wearing exposing my breasts and tried on one of the new bras. It fitted really well and was much more comfortable than the smaller bras I had been wearing. I thanked her and slipped the t-shirt back on. "That's not all," she said, handing me the bag, "Look inside." I looked inside and gasped. I looked at her questioningly. "Go on," she said, "Humour me. I felt a bit naughty when I was shopping." I reached in and pulled out a pink satin and lace bra, matching panties and a matching nightdress. "What is this? Are these for me? I can't wear these?" I protested. "Why not?" "Well, they're really girly," I responded. "You're wearing a bra at the moment, Sam. You can't get girlier than that. Go on, humour me, just to see how it looks, think of it as bedroom fun just for us," she said with a cheeky and suggestive look in her eyes. "Go and try them on while I get dinner ready." Enticed by the look in her eyes, I conceded. In the bedroom I stripped off, and, holding them like they were about to explode, stepped into 'my' new panties. They fit perfectly with a firm lacy front and smooth satin rear. The bra felt smoother than the bras I had been wearing. The final step was slipping the nightdress over my head. I couldn't resist a shiver as I flowed down my body, needing a gentle tug to allow the breasts to slip into the cups. I felt ridiculous, but the promise of later held firm. Once I knew it fitted, I took the nightdress off, laying it on the bed, and got dressed again. Back in the kitchen, Jill asked if everything fitted. I nodded. "I can't wait to see," she said, "Dinner first." I delayed it as long as possible, but eventually it was time to go to bed. Jill had been sitting in bed waiting for a while and when I got into the bedroom, she watched eagerly as I stripped off. I could feel her eyes on me the whole time as I removed the new bra and slipped the nightdress on, again unable to resist a shiver as it settled on my body. When I was ready I slipped into bed next to her. "You look really cute," she said in a husky voice, toying with the ribbons of the nightdress that settled between my breasts, and started to kiss me deeply. She was clearly turned on as we engaged in the most passionate sex we had had for months. Once we were done and all tidied up, I went to put on my normal boxers and t-shirt for bed. "What about your new lingerie," she said, looking slightly hurt. "You want me to wear it properly, not just for, well sex?" "Yes of course, I wouldn't have bought it otherwise. As I said, you look cute, shame about the hairy legs, but you look cute nonetheless." Stepping back in to the panties and slipping the nightdress on I went to brush my teeth before getting back in to bed. This was all a bit weird, but Jill seemed happy so I went with it. She snuggled in, saying she loved me and then fell asleep. I woke up the following morning as my wife kissed me on the forehead. "Goodbye, sweetie," she said, "have a nice day." I lay there feeling confused. Here I was, her husband, lying in bed in a nightdress and panties she had bought me, my breasts held delicately in the satin cups, and I was feeling I had let her down, not because I was wearing what I was wearing, or because I was developing breasts, but because I was too hairy. She hadn't actually said she wanted me to do anything about it, but it was clear when she has said how cute I looked, apart from the hairy legs. I decided to do something about it. Running a hot bath, I sought out her hair removal products and then spent the next hour or so carefully shaving my legs. I also decided, on a whim, to shave my armpits. Even though the cream I had been applying on my breast area had denuded my chest of hair, there was still some around my belly, so I shaved that as well. At the end I rinsed myself off in the shower and as I towelled my self down, I couldn't believe my reflection, aside from the hair on my head , the only hair I could see was around my groin. I looked like I did when I was a teenager, only now I had breasts. Taking my cue from having watched my wife previously, I moisturised all the areas I had shaved, before getting dressed. I slipped on bra and panties and stood in front of our full-length mirror. Despite my rather shaggy shoulder length hair, the reflection I saw was definitely on the feminine side of androgynous. I even experimented with tucking back my thing. Getting dressed, I continued about my day. To begin with I was constantly reminded about my denuded body, but gradually got used to it, and it wasn't until as we got ready for bed later that evening that I remembered, or rather my wife noticed. "What have you done?" she enquired. "Well," I responded shyly, "your comment about my hairy legs last night made me think you didn't like it, so I did something about it." "Oh my dear," she responded, "Come here." I padded over to her in my bra and panties so she could inspect my handiwork. "Very good. A few stray hairs here and there, but a good effort. Strip off and get back in the bathroom, I'll help you finish it off." "What do you mean," I asked. "Well, clearly there are parts of your body that you could not reach, so I will help you." "Are you sure," I asked. "Of course. If you're going to do something you may as well do it properly." So I was back in to the bathroom and as I stood in the bath, Jill stripped off to her underwear and carefully examined and plucked and shaved the rest of my body to her satisfaction. Once she had finished it was getting quite late, but she insisted on moisturising my whole body before I put on my nightdress. She was too tired for anything much once we eventually got to bed, but we did fall asleep in each others' arms. She must have left for work before I woke up as there was no sign of her. I had a leisurely breakfast, and as I did, I had an idea. After I had tidied up, I went to get dressed, but after putting on one of my bras and a pair of panties, I headed over to her wardrobe. 'What would it feel like?' I thought. I found a pair of tights and, sitting on the edge of the bed as I had seen her do many times, I slid them up my legs. The sensation of pulling the tights up my hairless legs was quite exhilarating. After trying a couple, I then found a skirt which fit me comfortably and a blouse which fitted quite well. Unfortunately my feet were too big for her shoes, but as I stood looking at myself in the mirror, I was amazed at the reflection. My amazement quickly turned to shock, however, as I heard the door to our apartment open and my wife saying, "Hi honey, I'm home." I froze thinking there was nothing I could do, and before I could react, her head appeared around the bedroom door. "Are you still in... oh?" she exclaimed. I stood there dumbly, blushing deeply. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I...I...I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, I just thought it would be a good idea to..." I stammered in response. "No, I mean, what are you doing, that skirt and blouse don't go together," she said coming over to me. Grasping my hand she tried calming me down. "Don't worry, dear. It's only natural with everything that is going on for you at the moment. Listen, I only popped in to pick up something I had forgotten. Let's talk about this tonight. I have to go." And, picking up the paperwork she had left on her bedside table she was gone, leaving me sitting on the edge of our bed in her clothes. After a while, I got up and stripped off. Whatever moment I was having had gone, and it just felt odd. When she returned later that evening, I think she was a little disappointed that I wasn't still dressed. We talked about it for a while, and she theorised that if my breasts were going to continue to grow, then sooner or later it would be too difficult to hide the fact that I had breasts when going out, and perhaps experimenting with whether or not I could pass as female, at least just to pop out and get groceries, might be helpful. It took me some convincing, but it did make some sense. Stammering, I asked if she would help me and a huge beam crossed her face. "Of course, my dear," she smiled, let's leave it until the weekend and then we can play. That meant a couple of days carrying on as 'normal'. Despite having the opportunity to try on some of her clothes again during the day, I chose not to. It just seemed a bit strange to do so, then I suppose it is not every wife who buys their husband panties, bras and a nightdress. When we woke up on Saturday morning, I lay there in my t-shirt and pants and reflected on the changes that had happened in my life over the past few months. Today was going to be another big change. Jill instructed me to get up and have a shower and shave my legs and armpits again. After I had dried myself and moisturised, she then had me sit at the dressing table in bra, panties and tights while she blow dried and brushed my hair, which I hadn't had cut for ages due to my increasing reluctance to leave the house. She then had me try on a whole load of her clothes and even sorted her wardrobe into clothes that would fit me and clothes that wouldn't. Eventually she stuck on a dress that she felt suited me. As I stood there wearing it, she passed me a box. Opening it up I found a pair of shoes with a low heel. "I know your feet are too big for my shoes, so I bought you some yesterday. I hope they fit." Slipping my nylon clad feet inside, they fit perfectly. Jill then had me sit at the dressing table to do some light make up and gave me a necklace and bracelet to wear. Looking in the mirror, I was impressed with the result. I did definitely look feminine. After lunch, Jill suggested we go out, but I was reluctant to go out in daylight as I wasn't used to this. Jill relented, understanding my reluctance, but as soon as it got dark she did persuade me to go out for a drive. I nervously scampered to and from the car, but the drive was uneventful even though the sense of risk was palpable. We fell in to the house giggling like school children and had another night of passion. On the Sunday Jill dressed me again, and this time took the time to paint my nails, toes and fingers! She was really keen for me to go out in daylight and made every effort to make me look as feminine as possible, even having me practice sitting, walking, even eating. After much protesting, I eventually relented and again we went for a drive, this time to a remote view point. Despite the fact that we were miles from anywhere we knew, and I was wearing her big sunglasses to help disguise my face, I still felt nervous as I got out of the car. The first thing I noticed was the breeze on my nylon clad legs. As we walked to a bench where we could see the view she held my hand and we talked. "Why are you doing this?" I asked. "What do you mean?" "Dressing me up and taking me out like this." "Well, you told me yourself you were becoming increasingly self- conscious about going out with the breast growth. I thought if we dressed you up so you at least looked feminine and I came with you, you could get some fresh air and we could spend some time together. The other option is surgery to remove the breast growth, but you remember what the doctor said, it is likely to go once the baby is born, something to do with my hormones. Let's just enjoy the moment." "That's easy for you to say, you're not sat there dressed in women's clothes, well you are, but that's not the point, you know what I mean." "I do understand this is hard for you, but didn't I find you wearing my skirt and blouse the other day? Aren't you even a little bit curious?" I couldn't disagree. Although she had bought me the underwear, she hadn't asked me to dress in her clothes to begin with. I started that. We enjoyed the rest of the walk and had a lovely evening together. I had to agree it had been nice to get out of the house. Jill was back at work the following day working her last few weeks before maternity leave started. Despite everything that had happened during the weekend, I was reluctant to continue dressing as a woman by myself and, other than a bra to support my breasts, I spent the days inside wearing male clothes. It did look a bit ridiculous on the first day until I found the nail varnish remover. Whenever Jill returned from work to find me dressed in male mode, she tried to hide her disappointment but was always supportive in understanding my situation. We made a couple more ventures outside, and each time it got a little easier, but it was still uncomfortable, despite Jill's efforts to encourage and support me. Month Eight As time passed, two things continued to grow, Jill's bump and my breasts so when we were invited to her work's Christmas Vicars and Tarts party, it was obvious who would be the vicar and who would be the tart. To put medieval twist on things, Jill decided that we would go as Friar Tuck and Maid Marian. I was understandably reluctant, after all I had not met many of her work colleagues before. However, at least this time they would all know I was a man and wouldn't be expecting anything else. It did take a lot of persuasion, but eventually I agreed. Jill sourced the costumes and the evening of the party she spent most of the time sorting me out. The dress had a high neck so people wouldn't see my cleavage but she applied heavy stage make up, over doing it a little, and styled my hair to look a little medieval. Her outfit was much easier, a monk's robe and a tonsure wig. We looked a right pair as we looked at ourselves in the bedroom mirror. I still felt very nervous about going out dressed as such, but at least it was a fancy dress party! I tried to stay with Jill for most of the evening, particularly as she introduced me to her work colleagues as her partner, but there were times when we got separated and on some of those occasions I did end up getting uncomfortably close to some of the men there. I found the disabled toilet which gave me an opt out for choosing the male or female toilets and made the whole evening much more comfortable, and by the time Jill decided it was time to go, I had had an enjoyable, if tiring evening. Back home, there was the unusual sight of a friar undressing a maiden, but we collapsed in to bed, too tired for any hanky panky. Apparently we were the talk of the party, and, despite our early departure, had won the prize for the best costumes, a meal for two at a fancy local hotel. All the positive feedback from Jill?s peers definitely made me feel more comfortable with going out dressed, and just in time. Month Nine As we moved into the last month of Jill?s pregnancy, we needed to start attending ante-natal sessions. There was no way I could go as a man because the breast growth was too obvious so the only solution was to attend as a woman, as Jill?s birthing partner. Jill explained the situation to the doctor who was hosting the sessions, the same one who had seen me previously. He was surprised by our decision but on meeting me en femme and examining my breast growth he said he understood and agreed it made sense. The sessions were nerve wracking because of the other expecting mothers who were attending with their partners. Many of the partners were women. The few men present were lauded for the dedication and the absent fathers derided. Jill did her best to defend me in my ?absence? but it was difficult. The last few days we were on tenterhooks the whole time, not knowing when Jill would go into labour. This wasn?t so bad in that we had everything ready and we had decided that we would go with a home birth, partially as Jill didn?t really like hospitals, but she had also conceded that it would be less stressful for me. At long last Jill went in to labour. I called the mid wife, filled the birthing pool and put on my tightest t-shirt to restrain my breasts and then my baggiest jumper to cover them. From my perspective the birth went well, Jill may not have agreed at the time, but after sharing stories with other mothers later, she realised it had gone well. After a surprisingly short labour, the mid-wife handed me our baby daughter as she cleaned Jill up. I was overjoyed that everything was going smoothly and tears filled my eyes as I welcomed Amelia into the world. However, as she started crying her first cries, I felt a surprisingly sensation down my front, dampness. I wondered if it was me crying or her making a mess on me, but that wasn?t it. The dampness continued to grow but there wasn?t really anything I could do about it. Once the mid-wife was finished and gone, I passed Amelia to Jill for her first feed and stripped off my jumper. Underneath my t-shirt was soaking around the nipple area. I was lactating! ?Wow, that?s amazing,? Jill said. ?Here, sit down and see if she will take it from you.? So I sat down next to Jill and she handed me our daughter so I could breastfeed her. She took it! ?That?s interesting,? Jill said, ?We?ll have to discuss that with the doctor tomorrow.? ?What do you mean,? I asked. ?Well, we have to go and register Amelia?s birth tomorrow and get her checked up. We can get the doctor to check you over as well.? So, once again, the following day I had to get dressed up to see the doctor. I wore some of Jill?s breast feeding pads inside my bra to ensure there was no leakage. At least he was used to seeing me in this state by now and he always praised my dedication as a parent. Amelia was absolutely fine and the birth was signed off. It seemed strange for me to undo my blouse and bra exposing my breasts to another man, but he had to check. He was able to confirm that indeed I was lactating. He got me to squeeze one of my breasts to ?express? some milk which he checked and then confirmed that there was no reason why I shouldn?t feed Amelia. He reassured me that this, while being unusual, was not without precedent. Medical advice suggested that breast feeding should continue during the first six months of a baby?s life. He suggested to both of us that having both parents lactating would make it less stressful for one partner and that to encourage continued lactation we should take a supplement called Pregnacare which would ensure neither of us ?dried up? and that the quality of the milk was good. Again he said that he advised against surgery at this stage and suggested continuing as we were for the next six months. Having been expecting today to be the end of the breast growing process, it had just been extended six months. As we left the doctor?s, Jill held my hand tightly. ?Darling, if you are really desperate we can sort you out the surgery, even though he advised against it. ?Much as I would like to say yes,? I responded, ?I did promise to help out and he did strongly advise against it.? ?Thank you, my dear,? she said, turning to me and giving me a kiss. ?As we need to pop to the shops to get some of this Pregnacare, perhaps we should also get you a couple of your own nursing bras.? Month Ten About a month after Amelia was born, we had settled into a bit of a routine, as both Jill and I were lactating, we took it in turns feeding her, with me tending to do the night shift. This was so that when she was ready it would be easier for my wife to return to work which she duly did. I was still shy about leaving the house and rarely went out without her. It was always such a relief when she came home as it meant I had someone else to talk to. Amelia was lovely, but wasn?t great company. Jill went back to work on a part time basis. She wanted to go back full time straight away, but the company had a policy of a phased return to work. She was soon up to three days a week, but still had two days off during the week, and it was on one of those that she surprised me. ?I have a surprise for you, darling,? she said as I sat feeding Amelia, ?A treat!? I was curious and asked for more details. ?Well, the last few months have been a bit stressful for you but you have responded so well and worked so hard to make everything work for Amelia and I despite the changes that you?ve gone through, that I thought you could do with some ?me time?. I?ve booked you in for a spa day, a day of pampering.? ?Are you sure,? I asked, ?I mean, it?s not like I fit into any version of ordinary at the moment.? ?Don?t worry, darling,? she said, reassuring me. ?The venue is high class and very discrete, all you need to do is turn up and relax, everything will be laid on for you. I have packed a bag for you with some of the stuff you will need, including a swimming costume, all you need to do once you?ve finished feeding Amelia is get dressed. I suggest something simple like a blouse and skirt.? ?Are you going to send me out by myself?? I said, concerned, ?You know how I feel about that.? ?Don?t worry, I will drop you off and pick you up. It will be fine.? I tried to protest, but as soon as I finished feeding Amelia and put her down, Jill fussed around me making sure I had matching bra and panties on, tights, skirt, blouse, some simple make up. She quickly combed out my hair and put it into a pony tail, then handed me my pumps and a small hold all. We had been out together before with me en femme, but it still felt weird, in fact despite the fact that it was several months since she had first bought me feminine clothing, the whole thing was still strange. After a short-ish drive, we drove up a long drive and pulled up outside a large house. Amelia was still asleep in the car so Jill suggested we got out quietly and left her in there while she dropped me off. Inside, we were greeted at Reception and Jill announced that she was dropping off ?Samantha? for her pre-booked spa day. The Receptionist smiled and asked me to sign in. Then Jill kissed me goodbye. ?See you later darling,? she said. ?Have a nice day. Enjoy yourself.? Then she was gone. I turned sheepishly to the Receptionist, truly nervous. ?Here?s your programme for the day,? she said, handing me a pamphlet. ?You will have a room at your disposal throughout your stay with us to use as you will. Your room is number 24. Your appointment is with the beautician in about five minutes. Let me show you where to go.? As we walked along the corridor, she showed me where the beautician was and then where my room was. ?Do you think you can find your way back to the beautician easily enough?? When I responded affirmatively, she continued, ?In that case I will leave you to your own devices. Usually they prefer it if you turn up in a bath robe with just your panties on underneath,? she continued, opening the door for me, ?You will find the bath robe on the end of the bed with a pair of mules,? she said, pointing, ?Do you need anything else?? ?I don?t think so,? I responded and she left me, smiling. As the door closed behind her I felt really odd. Had my wife known what was in store for me? I decided to trust her, and stripping off down to my panties, I slipped on the bathrobe, grateful that I had chosen panties with a firming front. Tying the bathrobe around my waist, I slipped my feet into the mules, put the room key in my pocket and found my way back to the beautician. My appointment with the beautician was for a full body wax; legs, arms, back, arm pits, she even shaped my eyebrows which was new to me. By the time she had finished I was in pain all over and was somewhat relieved when she said that next on my programme was some time in the pool. As I walked back to my room I wondered if she had noticed what was inside my panties. If she had, she hadn?t said. Back in the room, I opened the bag. There were a few packages and an envelope in there alongside a swimsuit. I picked out the envelope and noticed that on the front it read ?Do not open this or the packages until after you have had lunch.? Trusting to my wife?s plans, I took off my panties and popped the swimsuit on, grateful for the way in which the little skirt around the wist disguised my manhood while the padding supported my breasts. Slipping the bathrobe back over, I headed for the pool. While I was in the in the pool I was largely left to my own devices. I swam a bit and spent some time in the sauna and the Jacuzzi. There were a couple of other ladies there and I wondered whether they spotted anything different about me. I tried to spot if there was anything different about them but I couldn?t. We chatted briefly and it was all quite relaxing. Before long, my time in the pool was up, and the assistant directed me straight to the masseuse for my next treatment. It felt strange to still be wearing the swimming costume, but the masseuse said I was going to need a shower afterwards anyway. I had the most thorough massage imaginable; legs, arms, shoulders (which involved slipping the straps of my swimsuit down my shoulders), even a head massage. By the time I had finished, I felt utterly relaxed. I thanked the masseuse who suggested that if I went back to my room, I would just about have time for a shower before my lunch arrived. In fact I was in the shower when I heard room service come in, but by the time I had finished rinsing my hair before getting out of the shower, they had gone, leaving a chilled half bottle of medium white wine and a Caesar salad. As I sat down to eat my lunch with the bathrobe wrapped around me, I opened the letter from my wife. ?I do hope you are enjoying your treat. It?s just a little something to thank you for everything you have done and are doing. I know you might not have chosen the last few months to turn out the way they have, but I do value everything you are sacrificing at the moment. I realise this might not necessarily be the way you would choose to spend a day, but I really do encourage you to relax and not worry. Everything about today is to thank you in a way that I believe is going to help you through this situation.? It was lovely but a bit cryptic. So were the rest of the instructions in the letter. After lunch I was to open parcel one before going to my next appointment. Then, when I got back from that appointment, I could open parcels two and three, and the wardrobe. Looking up at the wardrobe I now noticed it had an envelope stuck to it. Once again, I trusted my wife and, after finishing my lunch, opened parcel one. Inside were a matching bra and panties set in a beautiful jade green. Slipping off the bathrobe, I stepped into the panties. Even though I was becoming increasingly used to wearing satin, it was arousing and I hoped the arousal would ease. Fixing the bra around my chest I was impressed with how snugly my breasts filled in, and, looking in the mirror, was pleased that I appeared feminine, despite the slight bulge in my panties. Checking the time I realised I was almost late for my next appointment, so putting on a new bathrobe, I headed to the salon. In the salon I was really pampered. My still damp hair was cut and shaped and highlights added. I had it in my mind to protest but didn?t want them to smell a rat. As my hair was setting I had a pedicure and manicure. The manicure involved some kind of gel setting on the nails which was strange, but when it was set toes and fingers were all topped with glossy green varnish, a similar shade to my new underwear. As I lay back while my hair was still drying I relaxed completely and was beginning to doze off when I felt a prick on my left ear. I started and then realised that the beautician was piercing my ears. ?Oh, sorry to alarm you,? she said, ?I didn?t realise you were asleep.? I was about to complain about the ear piercing when I realised I didn?t really want to draw attention to myself and so meekly let her do the other ear. As she put the studs in I wondered what I looked like. I didn?t have to wait long because the stylist soon came along and turned my chair round so I could see my reflection as she finished working on the hair. I was astounded. My relatively long but shaggy hair had been trimmed and highlighted and was now being styled to look a little like the famous ?Rachel?. Definitely no question of it being feminine, but despite the ear studs, I could still tell the face was masculine. Perhaps that was just me. Either way, it was about to change. After styling I moved on to make up, and had semi-permanent tints on eye lashes and eye brows and then a glamorous make over ready for the film set, or so I thought. Leaving the salon, I felt completely different and, heading back to the room, was keen to know what else was in store. Parcel two was a matching ear ring and necklace set. I sat at the dressing table and fixed the necklace around my neck. Again it was of jade and had a pendant that sat just above my cleavage. The earrings were also pendants, and so, for the first time in my life, I took out the ear studs that had been fixed to my ears and replaced them with the pendants. I could immediately feel the difference in weight. Letting the robe fall from my shoulders, I couldn?t match the image I saw with the reality I knew. Everything I saw said woman! The final thing to open was the wardrobe. Inside there was a delicate slip hanging from a padded hanger. I slipped this over my head and let it fall over my body. It was a suspender slip which explained the new pair of sheer nude stockings in the bag. I sat on the edge of the bed and slipped the stockings up my completely smooth legs, clipping them on the suspenders. Also in the wardrobe was a beautiful green dress. I stepped into it, pulling it up my body and slipping my arms through the sleeves. Doing up the concealed zip on the side helped it fit snugly to my body. Finally I slipped my feet in to the inch high satin pumps coloured to compliment the dress that were in a box at the bottom of the wardrobe, and the shawl that came with it. There was one final package, but my instruction was not to open that until my final appointment which, it turns out, was with the photographer. I had no idea what to expect with the photographer or why this was part of the day. The only thing I could think was that my wife wanted a record of the day so that when things went back to normal she could always reflect on what had actually happened. The photographer was, thankfully, female, and I quickly became very comfortable under her guidance. She had me adopt a variety of poses and took a range of different shots. Although she showed me some of the shots, I couldn?t gauge the finished effect as she said she would be adding filters. When she suggested some underwear shots, for your other half, she suggested, noting my wedding ring. I blushed and balked at the idea, but gradually came round to her persuasion. Taking off the dress I was really nervous about whether my secret would become apparent, but the poses she had me make were discrete. I was still pleased to put the dress back on (I didn?t think I?d ever think that). On returning to the room, I sat on the edge of the bed to open the final package. Inside was another letter and a small clutch handbag which matched the shoes I was wearing. ?Hello my dear,? the letter read, ?How is it all going? I hope you have had a wonderful day so far. If all has gone to plan and you have followed the instructions as directed, you should now be sitting in your room having had a full make over and appearing to the world as a glamorous woman, just the perception we want to maintain if your little secret is to remain just that. I know this must all be really strange for you, but I hope you have been able to enjoy the day and can partially understand why I chose this as your treat. One final thing remains, don?t open the clutch hand bag just yet, I will tell you when. For now, pack everything up in to the holdall and take it to Reception. Leave it there and go and wait in the bar. I love you.? I followed the instructions and shortly after was sitting in the bar sipping on a gin and tonic. It was early evening and the bar was quiet which was a blessing in some ways. I felt incredibly self-conscious sat there in the beautiful but slightly revealing outfit. I was beginning to wonder how long I was going to have to wait when I heard someone come in behind me and call out, ?Hello beautiful?, it sounded like my wife and when I turned round I was relieved to see it was her. ?Hello darling,? I replied, trying to sound relieved, but also desperate to ask her why she had gone to all this bother. She ordered herself a drink and sat at the bar beside me. ?You look absolutely fabulous,? she said. ?The transformation is incredible.? I blushed and smiled a ?thank you?. ?So do you,? I replied. She was also dressed up for a night out and we sat there, two glamorously dressed women having drink. She asked me lots of questions about the day and before long we were called through to a dinner table that she had clearly pre-booked. Once in the privacy of the dining room we talked more candidly. ?Why?? was all I could ask. ?I wanted to thank you for all you have been doing?? ?I understand that, but why this? It?s not like this is something I would normally choose to do.? ?I know, and I do appreciate you are probably feeling quite uncomfortable, but that?s partially it. We have to face the fact that if we are going to be breast feeding Amelia for another five months as the advice suggests, then the chances are your breasts are not going to start shrinking any time soon. You can?t continue staying locked up in the flat, especially when I go back full time in a couple of weeks. You need to be able to go out for your benefit and for Amelia, giving you a makeover so you look more feminine will help with the disguise. Everything is reversible, even the ear piercings. In fact they will heal up in a couple of weeks if you don?t keep the studs in overnight to start with,? she finished, touching my hand. Everything she said made sense, it just didn?t feel right. My wife choosing to make me up to look like a woman! In between the various visits from the waiter we continued talking about the situation. After the main course, she asked if I knew what day it was. When I drew a blank she smiled. ?Ten years since our first date. Open the bag.? Inside was a small jewellery box. She encouraged me to open it and inside there was an eternity ring to match the necklace and earrings. ?Happy anniversary,? she said, reaching over, taking the ring and placing it on my ring finger with my wedding ring. After we had finished eating we went back to the bar for another drink before picking up the holdall from Reception and getting a cab back home to relieve the babysitter. Amelia was fast asleep so the two of us headed straight for the bedroom. Holding me close, Jill said she loved me and kissed me fully on the lips. We then slowly undressed each other before making passionate love, with, for me, the new sensation of a necklace and earrings swinging back and forth. ?Thank you for today,? I said as we lay in bed in the aftermath holding each other, not really sure that what the day had held was what I would have chosen but thankful anyway for the thought. ?No, thank you,? she said, ?For being the most wonderfully understanding, adaptable and accommodating partner anyone could wish for.? In hindsight her use of the word ?partner? should have alarmed me, but at the time I thought nothing of it. ?Now, let?s get ready for bed because someone will be up soon!? Unhooking the earrings from my lobes, I placed them carefully in their box then sought out the salon?s studs and put them back in. Taking the necklace off, I put it back in its box then slipped the jade green panties back on before heading to the en suite. Once I had removed the makeup applied, I could tell they had used semi-permanent tints on my eye lashes and brows. Slipping my nightdress over my head, I slid back into bed. ?Hmm,? she said, cuddling in to me, ?Perhaps we should go out like that again. It would be a shame not to use that dress again,? she continued, looking at the dress I had just hung up to air. ?If you like,? I said in what I hoped was a relatively non-committal way. ?I do like,? she said, then kissed me and rolled over to sleep. What a day! A dream or a nightmare come true. Either way, I had got through it without anyone knowing my secret. New Identity The following morning it was back to normal with Jill at work and me on baby care duties. I say back to normal, but it wasn?t quite. Something in me had changed yesterday, perhaps when Jill had said that I needed to get out more not just for my benefit but for Amelia?s. I realised she was right and determined to start making sure I looked as feminine as possible all the time, rather than fighting the situation, I chose to embrace it. So it was that when Jill returned from work later that day she found me in skirt and blouse, tights and pumps, basic make up on and wearing a necklace I had borrowed from her. She seemed pleased and not at all bothered that I had borrowed her things again, she simply treated the situation as if it was normal, although she did decide to give me some make up coaching. A couple of days later Jill returned from work with a couple of parcels for me. The first was a series of framed pictures from my day at the salon. I really couldn?t believe how I looked. Whatever happened in the future, there would now be a record of me on that day. We put one photo, an underwear shot, on the dressing table in our bedroom and another, larger one, with me fully clothed in the sitting room. I was a little bit weirded out when Jill told me she also had a small version in her desk drawer at work! The second parcel was a handbag, ?You?re going to need it. You can?t keep borrowing mine and anyway, once you?ve finished using it, I can use it,? was Jill?s reasoning. I didn?t see why I couldn?t borrow hers, but I left that. Inside the bag was a matching purse. I was about to thank her for both when she encouraged me to open the purse. When I did, I was surprised to find some cash and cards inside. I was even more surprised when one was an ID card with my feminine face on using a shot that must have been taken at the spa. All my details were correct, but it gave my name as ?Ms S. A. Matthews?. There was also a driving licence, also with ?Ms S. A. Matthews? and a credit card with MS S A MATTHEWS on the front. The credit card could have been a misprint because my name was actually Mr S. A. Matthews, which is why everyone called me Sam, S.A.M., but the other two, with my feminine face on, where clearly not misprints. She could clearly see the shock and concern on my face. ?Darling,? she said, holding my hand, ?It is all part of the disguise. When you are out you have no idea if you might be stopped for any reason, at least now you have two forms of ID and will not have to worry. The credit card is so you can buy stuff. When you are out with Amelia, you will clearly need to buy stuff for the two of you, entry to places, food, new clothes, for Amelia as well as yourself, I mean you don?t have to be stuck wearing my fashions! There is a limit on the credit card so you can?t go mad, but I will settle all the bills. It?s a small price to pay to ensure our daughter spends as much time as possible in the early days with a parent than in child care.? It was easy for her to say it was a small price to pay, she hadn?t been transformed in the way I had and given a new identity. However, I had to agree that it all helped with the disguise, even if it was only for another five months. However, it would be a critical five months as Jill started going back to work full time the following day. I didn?t really want to wish away my time with Amelia, but I was looking forward to the time when we could stop breastfeeding her and my breast growth would stop and things could return to normal. ?Are you okay, darling,? Jill asked. ?Well it is all a bit of a shock. I mean it?s one thing sitting here dressed as I am with you, but another thing completely having these ID cards in a new identity and facing the prospect of going out alone.? ?I realise that,? she answered with genuine concern in her face, ?But I really believe you?re ready to face the world by yourself, and the two of you really can?t stay cooped up in here, you?ll go stir crazy. In fact, why don?t you go out now, just for a short walk round the block to shift your nerves. Take your phone and if you have a problem, Amelia and I will come to meet you. You could go down to the corner shop and pick up some milk, I think we?re out. Get the full fat, apparently it helps with the lactating.? At that point Amelia started crying to be fed so Jill picked her up and started feeding her, watching me. I looked at myself in the mirror, checking my hair and appearance. I picked up one of Jill?s jackets from the hook by the door and checked with her that it suited. She smiled. As long as I didn?t try to do it up it would be fine, I was a little bigger than her. I picked up my handbag, checking that the purse and my keys and phone were inside, and took the bravest step of my life. I had been out en femme before, but only with Jill, but this time all the sensations were heightened. I could feel the breeze on my nylon covered legs, hear the click of my heels on the pavement, and feel the tug of the bra straps on my shoulder. I was also conscious of everyone looking at me, but it was probably no more than usual. Reassuringly the trip was completely uneventful and I returned after about twenty minutes with the milk as requested. I closed the door behind me with a sigh of relief, hung the bag and jacket up and took the milk to the kitchen where Jill was preparing supper. ?Well how was that?? she asked. ?Nerve wracking.? ?But you passed didn?t you? No one suspected anything.? She came over to me drying her hands as I nodded and then shook my head. ?Of course you passed, you?ve have a good teacher,? she smiled, ?and you?re a dedicated parent, doing what you can for your daughter. Now while dinner is cooking, let?s make sure your handbag is properly ready. There are some things every hand bag needs.? This included a small zipped bag containing a lipstick, tweezers and a compact with mirror, some breast pads in case I started lactating and couldn?t feed Amelia straight away, a folding hair brush, packet of tissues and a couple of tampons and panty liners. I raised my eye brows at the last items and was told that it was all part of the disguise. Once we had done, dinner was ready. Lying in bed a little later, Jill started asking what my plans were for the following day. I confessed I didn?t have any. ?How about a small shopping trip? I mean I am happy for you to use my clothes and jewellery, but a girl should really have her own make up and underwear. You?ve only got one nice bra that fits now as well as your nursing bras. You?ve also only got one nightdress. Any way, it?s up to you, I am sure you are perfectly capable of buy your own clothes,? she said kissing me goodnight. I lay awake for ages thinking about this. My first thought, strangely, was what do I need, followed by how is it going to feel buying feminine underwear by myself. I decided to leave that problem until tomorrow. After Jill had gone to work the next day I fed Amelia. It really was a strange sensation sitting there having a baby suckling at my engorged breast, not something my upbringing had prepared me for. Bizarrely I wasn?t complaining. These moments were special and quiet. I had calm music in the background and Amelia to myself. I was strangely happy. Once she was done and dusted, I packed her changing bag and my hand bag. I got her ready in the pushchair, checked myself in the mirror and took the brave stepping of going outside. I was comfortable in the area now and was beginning to recognise certain people, however this first venture out with Amelia worried me. I was worried about people recognising me as the man who had moved in almost a year ago. I was worried that they might think of me as some kind of weirdo rather than a father willing to do anything for his daughter. However, due to the shades I was wearing, my appearance (I hoped) and Amelia that wasn?t really an issue. Most people were more interested in her than me. Following Jill?s suggestion, I headed to the clothes store. This seemed like full immersion therapy with me dressed as I was and with my baby in tow. As I had been walking I had been making a mental note, new bra and panties, new nightdress and nightgown and possibly another pair of shoes as I only had the ones I was wearing and the jade satin pumps. In the end I came back with much more. As I had gone to the same store as the one Jill had used for my spa day outfit, I was able to buy a spare pairs of panties to go with the bra she had bought me. I picked up another bra in a different colour with two pairs of matching panties from the same line as I found it so comfortable. I found a deep plum knee length nightdress and matching gown, and while I was in nightwear, I also picked up a pair of slippers. In footwear I tried a couple of pairs of shoes on but decided on some nude court shoes with an inch high heel. I really was getting into the swing of things. While I was there I popped some sheer glossy tights in the basket. My eye was also taken by an offer on running shoes, I guess at the end of the New Year?s resolution sale, so I picked up a pair. I had seen many mums running through parks pushing a pushchair and thought, why not me? That meant running kit. Rather than just leggings which I felt would be too revealing I chose a skort and a couple of running tops. I clearly also needed a sports bra. The basket was getting quite full by now and I hadn?t even got to make up, however, as I walked in that direction, Amelia started to cry. I didn?t think it could be food as she had only just had a feed, so parking the pushchair outside the baby room, I took her in for a change. What a mess! Still, the space was good and I was able to sort her out in no time. Leaving the changing room, my eye was caught by a beautiful blue dress that was for sale. I don?t know why I was so taken with it. Jill had said I could borrow her clothes, but it was lovely. I picked one out in my size and headed to the fitting rooms. I had to leave Amelia with the attendant while I changed. That was weird. Stripping down to my underwear with my barely concealed manhood in that place. Thank the lord no one came in by accident. The dress fitted beautifully, I even asked the attendant what she thought. Adding that to the basket, I really felt it was time to go but then add a worry, what if Amelia needed a feed, it was all very well and good sitting at home topless, but I couldn?t exactly do it in public. I headed to maternity, bought another nursing bra and the obligatory matching knickers and a couple of nursing blouses which had discrete flaps in them. By now I was beginning to think I might be beginning to push my luck both in terms of how much I had spent and Amelia?s patience so I decided to stop there. Paying at the checkout was the most nerve wracking thing of all so far. What if the card was refused? Thankfully it wasn?t and the cashier was very helpful and wished me a good day. As I went through towards the shop exit, I noticed someone coming in who I recognised, it was one of Jill?s colleagues. I quickly slipped the sunglasses I had been wearing on my head over my eyes and steered clear of them. Not wishing to push my luck any further, I headed straight home with no diversions. I only relaxed once I had closed the door behind me! When Jill returned home, I greeted her wearing my new dress. She was pleased, and that in turn made me pleased. She was also pleased with the purchases I had made and was only surprised that I hadn?t made more. I explained why and she understood. Over the coming months I continued to grow in confidence with my feminine life, or rather charade. Amelia and I joined a number of mother and toddler groups, one at a local church where we were welcomed and accepted. I took Amelia running in the park to maintain my fitness, and swimming at a mother and baby class. I also continued to develop my own small wardrobe of female clothing, often having to make space for it by packing up some of my male clothing, rather than constantly using Jill?s. I even booked myself in with the local salon for regular hair and nail appointments and the occasional waxing. Jill seemed pleased with how things were going and continued to encourage me. Often times I would prepare romantic meals for two on a Friday night so that when she returned from work she could relax. I looked forward to spending this time with her as she occasionally bought me presents of clothing, perfume or make up, and we usually ended up in a passionate embrace in bed. The only downside of life was that I found it increasingly difficult to maintain an erection during sex and I was convinced that my manhood was shrinking. Ideal for the disguise, but hopefully not a long term issue! Month Fifteen It was a surprise how quickly it took to get to the six months. We started weaning Amelia and were both pleased that we had some degree of freedom back, having more than one glass of wine was a real bonus as we no longer had to worry about the impact on the milk Amelia was taking. I obviously hadn?t expected the breasts to start shrinking overnight once I had stopped breast feeding, but the fact that life hadn?t returned to ?normal? immediately was a bit of a downer. Jill could clearly tell this and decided on a treat, we would cash in our meal voucher from the Christmas party and celebrate our wedding anniversary. We booked Amelia in to a nursery for the day and both of us went for a spa day together for full pampering. Picking up Amelia from the nursery at the end of the day, we took her home, fed her and started getting ready in the glamourous outfits we had on the spa day all those months ago. Babysitter and cab arrived at more or less the same time. Turning up at the venue we were surprised to see that it was a dinner and dance night. I had never been fond of dancing, although Jill had, so she was really pleased. After a sumptuous dinner, we headed through to the dance hall, bought a couple of drinks and bagged a table on the edge of the dance floor. There was a wide range of music during the night and Jill encouraged me to dance, a lot. After a few dances she grabbed me and, taking our handbags, led me to the toilet. I protested that I didn?t need to go, not that I was worried about going to a ladies? toilet, I had been doing so for months, I just didn?t need to go. Clearly that wasn?t the point, she wanted to talk. ?Have you seen those two guys watching us?? she asked. ?Which two guys?? she described them and when we returned to the hall later I knew who she was talking about. ?What about them?? ?Well, they?ve been watching us for ages.? ?So, I think they are building up the courage to come over and ask us for a dance.? ?Well, perhaps we should leave,? I said, applying a new coat of lipstick. ?That?s not what I?m thinking,? Jill continued, ?This is a real test of how well you are passing. If a man asks you for a dance, you?ve definitely cracked it,? she said smiling. ?But I don?t want to dance with a man,? I said ?I know you don?t really, but how about giving it a go. I will be here. It?s only a dance. What could go wrong?? After much continued badgering and persuasion I very reluctantly agreed that, if they came over to us and asked us, we would dance. Well they did, and we did. Tim and Mark were their names. There were no raunchy dances, it was all country dancing at that point so Tim and Jill, Mark and I, joined with two other couples. After about three dances I made a nod to Jill and suggested I needed a rest. She agreed and we made our apologies to Tim and Mark. However, they also thought a rest would be good and joined us at our table, buying us drinks. Now I was really uncomfortable. It was one thing dancing, another thing making small talk. Whether or not they could tell we were wearing wedding rings, they were both gentlemen, and after a few minutes I relaxed a little, so much so that when they asked for another dance I looked at Jill who nodded and then we all had one last dance, this time a kind of waltz where Mark had to hold my waist. After the dance Jill made our excuses and we both received kisses on our cheeks. I blushed and exited for the cab quickly. Jill was all giggly in the cab on the way back, I was perturbed. My wife encouraging me to dance with another man, dressed like I was. Back at the house Jill was super excited and, once we had paid the baby sitter, she pounced on me. ?Wasn?t that fun!? she said, ?It was just like going out with a girlfriend.? She could see the shock and hurt on my face and quickly continued with, ?But better because it was with my lover,? and she started kissing me deeply. The trail of clothes and underwear the following morning showed where our passions had taken us, but when I woke up I lay there perturbed, is that was she thinks of me as, her girlfriend?! My feeling of unease was not helped by an announcement Jill had for me a few days later. Sitting down over dinner one night, she confessed that she had missed her last two periods. ?Isn?t that normal after pregnancy,? I asked. ?No because I had a couple after Amelia was born. I bought a pregnancy test today. I think we should try it.? This was like a bolt of lightning. Potentially our family could expand and there would be a little sister or brother for Amelia. However, that also meant, if the first pregnancy was anything to go by, I would be spending at least another year living as Samantha. Jill went to the bathroom and took the test. Returning after a few minutes I couldn?t read her face, there was no indication of how she was feeling, she just showed me the test, and ?pregnant? was the reading. I was stunned. Epilogue As the dedicated husband and father I was, I continued my charade of a life as Samantha. I made no effort to maintain the breast growth, and had they started to shrink would have eagerly returned to life as just Sam. However, whatever had triggered the breast growth during Jill?s first pregnancy was still happening during the second. After the initial shock, life returned to what was, for us at least, normal. Amelia grew wonderfully. I continued to develop my female wardrobe and persona. In fact I was so well known in the locale as Samantha that I wa