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Towards a Surrender By MadQuill Please remember this is a copyrighted work and all legal disclaimers apply. The following story is the first of four parts of a tale that explores the theme of transformation. It is thematically similar others that I have submitted but has a larger narrative arc. I hope you enjoy reading the first portion, Act One & Two I continue to work on better editing and someone has been most helpful. Thank you for your comments Towards a Surrender This story follows two people that are driven by the decision to participate in their mutual seduction and the need to settle on a way of living. These two individuals instigate changes to each other, each seeking to understand the other's will, and moving towards being something together. They abandon the will to say no, yet they alone are making decisions for themselves. Their shared desire for another matures around this understanding. Preamble : Anais I watched as Renee approached the table we had arranged. She was a woman nearing her forties and her body was still curvy, not too busty; she was fit. Her legs were tan and her dress fell in two tiers emphasizing her waist with half sleeves and a mid-thigh hem. She wore a heel covered with leopard-print faux leather. Renee had forwarded a photo of herself after we had been chatting on the Internet for nearly a month. Now we spoke every few days. She offered to help with my search. She had set up this meeting but I had selected the place. The meeting was to discuss how I might meet the woman I sought. "Anais?" she said when I stood to greet her at the caf? table. We were near the Club, and Renee looked wonderful. "I will never get over the name," she said with a smile. "Was your mother a little crazy?" I smirked having heard from many people similar feelings. "No, she was old school French. The name was also my great-grandfather's." She sat on the opposite chair, the edge as if unsettled, and my eyes remained looking at her face though her aura was exciting. I caught a trace of her musky but floral scent. Her long caramel hair was up in a loose bun style; then I saw the dual braids. She had clearly prepared this look. Her smile helped my mood and she sat, and I did as well. I quietly studied her deportment as she shifted to relax in the chair and began. "As I suggested on the phone yesterday, Anais, this is more of a creative project. We, I meant to say I, have discovered and will follow just two, and thus I will maintain my presence on the Alt site. These two people I have under consideration both meet the requirements." Being a man of forty-three with growing investments I could have lessened my business activities. I needed someone though, and after being with Sasha for two weeks I knew that I wanted more from my next lover. Being attached to another person was a joy, and the early moments can set or cause a failure. I looked into Renee's eyes as I quickly re-explained the rendezvous several months ago. Sasha had been on the cruise with me. We met the second evening and spent the following eleven days and nights together. I was sad when she told me that she was not interested in a longer commitment. She had not actually transitioned but was quite convincing. She was a beautiful woman of twenty-seven, about five-seven with hazel eyes and soft brown hair that fell just barely to her shoulder. We had made love in new and exciting ways and I was smitten. When we parted, she had suggested that I find and help someone with her transition. She had to return to her job and would never do something like the cruise again. Her suggestion was difficult to address but she knew of other cross-dressers who would benefit from some aid. I struggled to resolve her idea for weeks afterward. After several months, I met Renee on-line and she seemed able to help make a match, though she was clear that I would need to be very patient. I now hoped that Renee could be the liaison since I hadn't a clue what was involved. She told me of the one she called 'Lisa' first. As she spoke I removed the small box and placed it on the table; I had provided a gift in lieu of compensation, as she had requested. Though she did not open the gift, she looked at it and then me. Renee looked up and smiled and now I let myself breath with ease again. "As we discussed Anais, I will need several months, probably six or more, and you need to relax, be easygoing, and wait. I will enjoy finding a woman for you, as I will enjoy the voyeurism. You must be good to your word and promise to treat Lisa with care and respect, and never humiliate her. I need there to be this understanding and respect between you and myself." So began the agreement that she would handle and direct her 'Lisa' and it was quite possible that I may never know or meet this new woman. Renee and I had agreed to let the person determine her path, but it was Renee's intent that we were supportive. The possible events ahead were not within either my or Renee's control. Only this Lisa would determine the relationship. Listening to Renee's proposal I wondered if the time and energy would prove to be of any use. I looked at Renee and considered her manner, and poise, I knew I would find a calm, and just wait, for her. - - - - - - - - Towards a Surrender Instruction #6 'I shall be as clear as a ringing bell, follow this explicitly or don't. You must decide' 'Stand in the black heels and rose' undergarments at the corner of 9th Street and Robin at One this morning Do not turn to look at your visitor nor speak with her' I had arrived at the deserted corner in the industrial park with ten minutes to spare and had driven about. There were no other cars or people. The complex was isolated and I was alone, but I could see car taillights speeding past, as the corner was near the main road, a street chosen carefully for near privacy. During the first minutes I stood waiting beneath the tall parking lot lights, my anxiety was high. The parking lot tall lights created sharply defined shadows, white to black, and I stood near the curved edge of the light field. I elected to standing at the edge of the darkness beyond. Several of the lights were unlit, which caused a dark zone. I looked at the elegant watch hanging on the silver chain about my neck. It was one of the items she had left for me the other night. After I waited about six minutes, I heard the noise of a car moving slowly, approaching from this unlit portion of the area. When the vehicle was close, but behind me, it stopped some distance away. There was no further noise for some moments as I counted to one hundred. I shifted my position in my tall stilettos and listened. The headlights of the car were now shut off and I heard a sound; maybe the car door had been opened. Yes, now it was closed somewhere behind me. I did not turn to look, as the Instruction had been clear. My mind reeled as I heard the subtle sound of someone walking slowly towards me. The clicking sounds confirmed my visitor was female, walking slowly in heels. It was dark behind me, and I kept the Instruction in mind as the sounds indicated that the person walking towards me was closer. From a dark portion of the lot I heard the loose pebbles as her steps as she came nearer still. In the quiet of the vast space, my sense of time seemed to be measured by these steps and clicks of the stranger as she moved closer. A flash from a camera startled me, but I knew better than to call out. I was shaking with some fright, as she was now very near. Then the sound stopped. I just assumed that she had stopped walking. Another white blast of light, and I saw my shadow flashed across on the tarmac. I listened and did not move. There was a soft sound of something hitting the pavement quite near, but I remained quiet. Then I heard a soft moan and the scuffing of stones moved by her heels. I waited for her first words. Months ago, I had posted on-line a request and for a couple of days I had trouble believing that the individual who responded was real. During the following two weeks I was convinced that she was just an illusion but now she was just behind me as I stood in the tall heels with my body exposed to her gaze. During these weeks she seemed to understand where my head wanted to go and her Instructions became my control. I had assumed that the notes were from a female but I hadn't met her requirements as of yet, and therefore she had been holding back. Now it was late, and I was slightly chilled, standing exposed, wearing the silky slip covering the rose' colored lace brassiere and thong, and the silky hose' as I waited for her next move. "You have been handling your development for these months alone, and I appreciate the sacrifices that you have made, umm, Lisa." Her voice was calm and soft, and yet I maintained my composure and resisted speaking or turning toward her voice. My anxiety was causing my palms to sweat, but I was here with her, where I wanted to be. "I love how the rose' chemise falls across your bottom Lisa, and the silk follows the cleft of the valley between your cheeks." Her voice sounded aroused, and caused me to quiver standing nearly naked below the tall overhead light. "I would like you to bend slightly and reach back with your hands to spread your bottom, open, so I can enjoy the efforts. Show me the artwork you had made there." She spoke slowly, and I enjoyed the sound of her voice. I was smiling because she seemed to approve of me; somehow I had met the expectations. I slowly extended my hands back as I bent at my waist and moved the hem of the slip up to my back. I had removed the dress I had worn for the drive. I spread my cheeks with my long fingers, the nails coated a deep red. I had just looked down to my heels when I heard the click and there was a third flash. "Oh my Lisa, your red nails are a nice addition but your arty tattoo looks so..., aah, well, in my opinion it is amazing, just the proper imprint for only your lover's eyes. I can just see the edge. I can see the tongue." There was another flash, quite near this time, she had used the word 'lover'! "Oh dear Lisa, but I love that you have a diamond eye inside of you, Lisa!" There was a soft sigh from her as I twitched and caused the stone plug to move within me, then she said, "The red dye tone is strong but it will fade slightly over the coming months. I like your initiative Lisa. The red nails and the butt stone!" She was quite close, but she did not touch me. "I like that you have exceeded the request again. The commitment is important as it is your world, and your decisions that have us together now," she said but her voice trembled. I heard the pebble sounds again as she seemed to move closer as I stood in my tall shoes, bent at the waist. Then it happened; I felt her fingers atop the stone plug in my bottom. "Ummmh, my pussy is so fucking wet. This stone thrills me Lisa," she moaned softly. I was breathing, but almost panting now due to my own excitement. "Your bottom desires some attention, maybe soon, that is, if you decide," she giggled softly. Then I felt her grasp the edges of the stone, and she tried to pull it free. As she pulled a bit, I felt the ring of my ass distend and then she released the stone. "But not tonight," and she pulled it again. She was teasing me a little, and I felt her move away slightly. The sound of her moaning was so close, behind me maybe a foot behind me, I didn't care; her touch had been like an electric shock. I wanted this so badly. I heard her breathing become deep. I turned my head very slightly from side to side, which allowed me to see her shadow caused by some stray light from the left. In the dark shadow the figure's hand appeared at the top of her legs, but the darkness concealed her. I wanted her to touch me again, but the Instruction had been clear. "Ohh," she softly moaned again. I wanted to turn, but somehow I resisted; my desire was to look at her. I felt so exposed. I held my cheeks for a moment longer, and then I released my both cheeks without her commenting. The taut rose' colored thong string slipped back tight between my cheeks and the silk fabric fell over my bottom. The black-heeled shoes she had provided me in the last present weren't uncomfortable; I had spent enough time walking and standing in the heels that this new pair didn't bother me. "Such a lovely bottom Lisa. The small tongue you had made and the color are perfect. The white stone plug is flawless." Her words aroused me. I heard her groan again and realized that whoever had caused me to dress, and stand nearly naked at this corner, was now playing with herself as she looked at my bottom. There wasn't anything that would cause me to turn to see her; after the previous Instructions I knew I had to remain focused. "Your bottom is so sexy!" I heard the soft hum of a vibrator now. Now we stood only a few feet apart but remained mutually entranced. She spoke quietly as her moaning increased, "You cannot stop this Lisa. Your will is working to bring you along. We are only the enablers." The sound of her breathing became louder now as the humming of her toy continued. I wondered what did 'we' refer to? I stood quietly listening to her stimulating her pussy. "You've picked a very good spot to stand Lisa. The deep shadow across your bottom is nice." My eyes shifted about, but I didn't move my head as I continued to look downward, so I could see the small bit of her profile in the shadows. We were alone in a wide dark landscape. "Ohh, yes, ohh god, ohhh!" Her breathing was rough as she began to climax, moaning, "Soon, lover. Touch your breasts Lisa, feel how we together have those now." I did as she requested and removed the right brassiere cup to play with my now fat brown nipple. The new part of my body responded, and I became further involved in her sexual episode. "Making this possible has been extraordinary, my Lisa. Your breasts look quite nice, and I am sure that you love them. Reach around again, spread your cheeks once more so that I can better see that tongue, ohh, yes, Lisa, it is lovely, licking at your bottom, and the white stone!" I thought I heard her move, as I heard the pebbles beneath her heels again. Maybe she had bent to pick something up. I pulled the thong aside again. "It has been more than seven months; you are quite good at following our Instructions." There was another flash, but the source of the light seemed odd. The word 'our' rang in my head as I heard the hum of her toy and her orgasm began. As she moaned I nearly came as well, even without touching my lace-covered mons. "Oh my, oh my Anna, oh wow, we are so, ohhhh, Lisa!" I knew I wasn't to speak, but I did moan softly as she came; but I wondered who Anna was. She continued breathing loudly, "Oh Lisa, oh yes, your legs look wonderfully smooth, please do not..." She must have bent and stepped back a bit. "Do not, ahh, that was, don't move. I want you to wait. Oh my, dear Lisa." She was clearly exhausted by the peaking orgasm. "Stay here, oh god, about, oh, say five, no ten minutes. I am leaving a package here for you and my vibrator as well. My scent is there. Oh, and the photos are for another." Though I wanted to speak, I somehow restrained myself. If I could spend these past months preparing for this encounter I was also capable of resisting the urge to ask any questions of my sponsor, this woman. Each of the previous five events had been followed by additional clarity regarding the relationship. I knew that more information was in the present placed on the ground. That is how I had come to see the packages sent or left for me after each encounter. This was our first close meeting and I could spoil it by turning about, or by asking, even speaking. I listened to the sound of the stones and the click of her heels as she walked away. I heard her giggling softly. After a minute the sound faded and I felt alone. Then I heard the sound of someone getting into the car, then a mumbled few words and a second door closed. There was no action for a full minute. I stood still, bent almost in half, just as she had left me. The engine started and the car lights were lit; there was a pause before the vehicle slowly drove away as I continued to look down at my own black shoes. I turned my head to look at the receding vehicle only after I didn't hear the rumble of the engine, then I stood looking at the taillights. The car was large, but too far off for me to see any details. After a moment I turned and walked the few steps in my stilettos to the spot she had stood and played with herself. On top of a package lay a small damp panty, a bright red lace thong, with the still moist vibrator leaning there as well. The thin material that would have been between her butt cheeks was without a label. I picked up the small garment and the still humming toy and brought the panty to my nose. Her scent filled me but there was another smell as well. At the back of the thin strap I felt the presence of a lubricant. She had a plug too, covered with her preferred Pjur silicone lube. I knew the feeling of this lube as I had used the same product from her last package to help get the cock-shaped toy into my bottom just this evening. I switched off the vibrator and brought it to my nose. I smiled as I licked slowly. I wondered when we would do this again. The previous Instructions were no longer on my brain as I sought to see what she had left for me. I was bothered by the multiple photos she had taken and her subtle statement 'for another', and the second soft car-door closing. My world was still within my control, as she had been clear from the beginning. Each week for over the past seven months I had made personal decisions that led me to this evening's meeting. This visit did less than I had hoped to explain my reasons and hers as well. Her statement 'another' was causing me anxiety. There must have been someone with her watching us tonight; those soft words she spoke as the car door was opened and then the muted second door closing. This was the first time I had dressed, well I was wearing lingerie, and ventured out beyond my small apartment, and I had no doubt that she would share the pictures she made of this evenings rendezvous but with whom? - - - - - - - - - Instruction #1 'It shall be clear and you will follow this explicitly, or you will not' A few moments later a second message arrived, 'You look cute for a young dresser, even feminine, but I will require more from you if we are to be together, so get rid of the body hair and let your dirty blonde hair continue to grow, only when it is well past your shoulders will I respond to your text or images' I had been checking out an Alternative Sex site for several months when I had decided to post my stumbling, badly written note. I had vacillated for a week considering the consequences of posting the two pictures on the site. The requirement of the website administrators was a detailed personal description. I added my simple request. Within a few days I had received seven, actually eight responses, from people who described themselves as dominating and were interested in being involved with me, as I began my transition. A follow-up only came from two, and of these, one was a pushy woman who required that I allow her to call me. After the short conversation I felt she was a bit too dark. The second, well the user name was 'anaisdom' and seemed interesting though the response was only the first short Instruction. The idea had been in my head for months, to allow my hair to grow to help with my appearance, so this Instruction just caused me to think long and hard about how and whether to respond. Though different from the other messages, at least she included a vague body shot with her wearing a dress and heels. I couldn't see her face clearly, for there was a veil. Now months later, as I reviewed my earlier notes I studied the image. I was attracted to her though I wondered now, who had prepared the shot? Was it this other person, to whom she would give the photos? With my original posts, I would vacillate for an entire day before I would click the 'send' button. My anxiety would control me. Those long months ago I had dressed and prepared the image of me wearing my best outfit. A moment later it was on the net, bit and pixels on the way to her Internet address. It was my way of accepting the challenge. I waited, hoping to get some response from anaisdom but there was no further contact. I checked every few days. Slowly I came to realize during this time that I wanted this, and her note was clear, no contact. I wasted more time on-line during those early weeks, but no other responses arrived from my on-line inquiry. I considered other steps but determined that anaisdom was correct; either I was a simple 'dresser' or a woman. I knew what I must do, so I quietly went about my life and work was the distraction thankfully. The hair growth was really very little trouble but it seemed to take forever so I stopped thinking of the request and her Instruction. I did not check back on the site for many months. My work and life were subtly shifting though as I began to determine exactly what I needed to become. With the weeks becoming months, and with my hair having grown long enough to fall beyond my shoulders I tried to style it for some new shots but it was useless. Each morning I tried, to make it look good, but wrapped it in a ponytail band and walked to the bus, for the fifteen minutes to work. I should have visited a salon, but I kept to myself. Though I would dress in my small wardrobe nearly every evening I couldn't seem to leave the protection of the apartment. My femininity was rising as each long week passed. I felt lucky that anaisdom was there, but was she really? Wasn't I guiding myself? Yet I wanted more; as I looked at my body, I wondered about changing my shape. The possibility that I might develop breasts was on my mind; my thin tummy flared to my thirty-five inch hips, but the flat contour above caused me anxiety. My medical coverage wouldn't help, and the cost of top surgery was outside my imagination. I was discreet about my dressing and kept to myself. The dressing and changes remained my private activity. The hair falling on my back felt wonderful and after six nights and watching many Utube videos on styling and makeup I finally had a look, a feminine look, and I made and sent the images. I was smiling in each for I was happy with my quite womanly features and the makeup skills I had developed. Not too much mascara or shadow was the trick; less could be more. I received a response to the pictures the next morning. With some joy, I decided to stay home and practice several other styles. After having spent the months learning more about my skin and the application of makeup, I was quite happy, and sent another image around two in the afternoon. I came to see my face as feminine, with a soft jawline, and I hoped anaisdom would be happy. The return e- mail was quick and simple just one word: 'better'. - - - - - - - - - - Finding my way and a new position, took the summer after my college studies, but I felt trapped by a desire to be someone; to silently open a door to another part of me. I had tried to abandon the thoughts for years, but passivity couldn't accomplish this. The hidden parts of me needed to be, to be released at any cost. In my note on the Alternative site, I had asked for a 'lover', but I was really driven by a desire to attempt to live differently, in a way that I would elect. Years earlier, I had come to understand that it was in my heart to follow. Now I would participate rather than simply being led. I knew that a great part of this craving was driven by my self-will, and yet I wondered which lessons would bring this to be. The Instruction requests were not difficult because I liked having my hair longer and somehow as each day became a week and my hair grew I had adjusted; up in a boy-bun some days, or a ponytail on others. I wasn't anxious now for I could focus on other things as well as my job. Along the way I had found and read a book about alternative relationships. I recognized that I was okay with the physical and emotional restraints required to be the more passive partner, as this seemed to me a feminine role, and a way to benefit my rising awareness of the societal role of women. I was always a curious person and it had initiated the book purchase. I also saw it as a resource that helped me with other considerations for dressing en femme, which had come to me slowly after college. I had begun to nurture the fetish as I collected several outfits, skirts and tops, shoes, falsies and underthings, but I desired something or someone to guide me, as cross-dressing was not enough. Over a period I had come to realize that I wanted to be womanlike, truly female, not just playing and therefore a transition became my purpose. I decided to accept my need to change. It was something I just had to do and with anaisdom I had at least that; her guidance and my self-fulfilling purpose. While my hair grew over those quiet months I had been watching and studying the women working with me carefully. I had learned to mimic their movement and mannerisms. Their dress and styling techniques I had to work at in order to achieve some success and therefore each evening I would practice alone; yet I wanted to become even more feminine. Looking into the mirror with my long dirty blonde hair I realized that I was willingly relinquishing some control to this stranger but this wasn't a classic dominant relationship. Anaisdom was leaving the participation completely in my hands, at least for the time being. I was surprised by my willingness. Though I had spent time on-line researching other trans behaviors the Instruction had caused me to want more than simply clothing; I was after a more complete shift, and I felt that I would not become a victim. I sensed I knew where this was headed. Instruction #2 'It shall be absolutely clear that you will follow my directions without question, or don't' 'Take the hormones for the next one hundred days. Do not allow yourself to be with anyone, for you are only mine and your body must be for my appreciation ' The first package was right where the e-mail had said it would be, beneath a park bench near the fountain. I looked at the four foil- wrapped packages of pills. This could be dangerous and the tone of the Instruction seemed more assertive. I stood alone in the darkening evening light wearing my jeans and sneakers and looked at the pills. Why did I trust this stranger? I stuffed the packs into my pocket but then stopped. Taking out one of the packs I saw that each held twenty-eight pills kept in a round disc thing and I pushed a pill from the holder and quickly swallowed it. I wanted this and could not interfere in the plan. Though it was crazy I felt different immediately for my commitment had become clear on the walk to the Park and now I was eager to get back and change, to fix my face and cleanse my smooth body; I had recently started to shave even the fine hairs on my hands and feet. During the following weeks I had no communication from anaisdom but I had begun to feel the effects almost immediately. During the second week I was taking the pills, I found out that the supplied hormones were not simple birth control pills; these were targeted HRT drugs for a male transitioning, and the estrogen was changing me. In my mind, I thought with this I may now be my best self. I should be carefree, pretty and I may never have to deal with my maleness again. The nausea was new as well. It became a daily thing to see a woman where a man once was. Several weeks after my first pill taken in the Park, my nipples had become distended and there was a softness that the drug brings. I could have just proceeded on my own, but I had come to realize there was a subversive need inherent in my original request and the note I had posted. After the fourth week, I wished that I had initiated my search for a partner and posted the on-line inquiry much earlier, as my body shape and feminine awareness were developing quickly and the changes brought a new sense of contentment. On my twenty-fifth birthday, I stood reviewing the effects in the mirror. I looked female, if I tucked my boy-bits back, with my blonde hair covering my shoulders and the small peaks forming on my chest. I still dressed daily as a male and rode the bus to work. In the evenings I would change into the simple outfits I had acquired but would not go around town dressed en-femme, though some nights I did consider doing so. I worried and wondered what I would do if someone recognized me. Each time I was about to go out, I became uncomfortable and panicked at the door. I considered the riskiness of my behavior, but I didn't feel natural, nor that I could faithfully present as a woman. I didn't share the anxiety of these failed early outings since anaisdom was refusing to respond to my e-mails, even those with images of my breast growth. I also began to wonder if my anaisdom was indeed a woman, or possibly a male, as I had no way to determine her gender. One evening while wearing a new simple dress I had purchased on-line, I saw a movie about the training and coming to fullness that a Geisha experienced. I watched and found a similarity to my own transition. I needed a guide to push me away from my historic conditioning, just as the young Chiyo struggled with her world. I sat watching the girl become a geisha, and I felt compelled to continue the path with anaisdom. As the film continued, I paused the DVD and re-did my face to watch the conclusion. I wanted the purity of her developed and her educated beauty. I realized watching the relationship unfold, that I might not be in control just as she wasn't. Others could re-direct her path or cause her to crash and fail. I took away from the film a special confidence to further attempt my goal of transitioning to womanhood. On the day following the one-hundredth pill, I sent the seventh picture of my upper body. This was a nude photograph, and I had spent three days trying to get the best image with my long hair and face done properly. I wanted her to enjoy my small breasts that she had helped create. The hormones had other effects but these were minimal compared to the growth of my chest and hips. Looking at the array of seven photo prints, it was startling, for these were mine, my breasts; though they were small these were all mine. The changes were astonishing and I masturbated my semi-stiffness standing at the mirror in my stockings and heels. The size wasn't an issue for I could feel the weight and see the fattish nipples. My release ran down my upper thigh and onto the nude hose'. I quickly pulled my thong into place and stepped to the computer. The response was quick, with a new Instruction, as if she had tracked the day on a calendar. Instruction #3 'It seems you can follow, but it must be clear, follow explicitly, or don't ' I went back to the Park, and I found the second envelope. Inside, with more pills and several other items, there was an address and a note. 'Visit this salon and ask for Charlie, she will know what to do with you' Two days later I dressed in some tight jeans and flats, gender non- specific I would call my outfit, though I felt so exposed wearing the white blouse; my nipples were evident since I was braless. I walked into the salon door and waited for my appointment. When I was introduced I knew that Charlie was actually a guy moving through her own transition. After I sat down to discuss my hair styling she suggested that I needed her help with more than just my longish hair. I had noticed that I had become attracted to outsiders, people who were purposely different. I was not a normal male anymore though I felt I kept everyone else fooled each day, especially at work. I noticed Charlie checking out my chest. "Maybe I can provide you a little guidance but I need to ask, do you want to be with this person?" Charlie told me she had no information on anaisdom. "I can't even guess who might have suggested my name. Maybe an old biddy," she giggled softly at her joke. I nodded but quietly listened. "You must be aware of the risks," she said. "People who don't like your approach to life may target you. Being between is really difficult Lisa. Your on-line dom, well, she, may be a whatever, and perhaps she will accept you Lisa, but what if this person is not a woman? Could this dom be a man?" I looked at Charlie as I considered her question. Of course, I wanted to be with anaisdom and, though I had some doubts, I meant to stay on the plan. Could Charlie be just a part of anaisdom's scheme I wondered? Her question made me realize that my gender determine and sexuality had become quite fluid. I didn't express disdain to her suggestion about a male. Charlie spoke with a singsong voice not truly feminine, "I don't know how she got my name. She may be a customer, but no one has reached out to me regarding you Lisa." I looked at her. Charlie wasn't exactly feminine, but I could see that she had something causing her chest to swell. Her help could be a positive part of my change of perspective. I was studying her in the reflection as she moved about. "Stop the inspection 'Lisa'," Charlie fumed, as my eyes roamed over her physique; she wasn't truly annoyed but pulling me back a little bit. We were both transfemme and I should respect her. "It's a nice name, but you definitely need my help. Try not to embarrass me okay?" She motioned for me to get into the big chair, "Let's get started." Ten days later, I had trouble at work. One of the guys found my three-inch heels secreted beneath my backpack under my desk. I had found that I enjoyed wearing the shoes as I worked in my private cubicle. I thought no one would ever see my feet beneath the desk, but I must not have covered the shoes completely when I stepped away to the restroom. "Thom, can you explain these?" It was Sean, another designer. He stood near and spoke quietly. Sean agreed to keep the incident quiet, but I had to promise him a special treatment; he wanted me to blow him that evening in the parking lot. "Well, do you have some other things?" He meant clothes. I had a skirt and top in the lower desk drawer, "Yes Sean, sure, I'll get dressed and meet you in the lot after six. Most of the staff will have left by then." Ninety minutes later I quietly slipped on the outfit and applied some mascara, lipstick and my scent. I brushed out my hair and smiled noting how reasonably I could switch my gender look. The office was empty as I walked across the carpet quietly in my low heels. As I approached he held the car door to the back seat open. I had never been with anyone, a woman nor a man, let alone had I sucked a penis. There was something in my head that just seemed to be released; I was going to do this act with Sean. I smiled knowing that the quick makeup was sufficient in the dim light. As he pulled his pants down he told me that I was 'way past being a guy', but was I really? A moment later as I kissed and licked his hardness, tentatively, but with care, I knew something was now very different. The sight of his hard tube excited me. I needed to protect my special relationship if Lisa was to meet anaisdom. I also needed my job; rent and living were not cheap in this town. As I licked and pumped his shaft I was surprised as his penis erupted into my hand. A small bit hit my cheek as well. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, I came so fast!" At least he was apologetic now, and I did clean the mess on my fingers with my tongue, as he looked down into my eyes. "Wow, Thom, I mean, that was exciting," Sean said softly. As a sexual act, this backseat blowjob did not cause me a moment of pause. Afterward I thought how easily I had responded to Sean's physical need. He agreed to not discuss the fellatio, as he said that he was straight. I knew I had crossed a boundary that evening. Sean had not cum in my mouth but his dick had been, well beyond my lips, and I enjoyed the sensual feeling on my tongue. I almost suggested we meet again but something stopped me. Five months had passed and I was living with the guidance of this elusive person, my mysterious lover, and now I had sucked a man's penis and licked up some of his ejaculation. I tried to not allow Sean to sense that I was comfortable, with the fellatio, and my feminine manner. Yet I still didn't know her name! The ride home seemed much longer as I considered how I had behaved. Sean had been the first person to see me dressed as Lisa, other than the pictures I had sent to anaisdom. I had made-up my face and placed the clip-on earrings on my ears after brushing out my hair. Sean was surprised when the vanity light illuminated the nearly dark car interior. He paused as I reached to undo his fly, commenting that I looked quite convincing. I had smiled to myself but did not look up as I saw the dick pop out of his pants. I had mostly pumped his cock in my right hand, occasionally licking the shaft and the head. His moaning began quickly, and within two minutes I was wiping and licking my hand clean. He asked me about the next step, but I told him that this was a single event and if he tried to extract any additional meets, I would report him to HR. I was convinced he was worried about the threat. Now anaisdom, my mistress, as I still considered her, and I were in regular, almost daily contact. These were simple texts, mostly originated by me. She would answer with one or two words. My breasts continued to grow and each day I had to tape them down with a wide Ace bandage before I got on the bus to work. I did not tell her about the blowjob. Instruction #4 'You are learning to be a special girl 'Lisa' and I want you to follow my lead without question or interruption, or don't' 'I want you to have a tattoo made in the cleft of your butt, much lower than a tramp stamp, it should appear as a small tongue' This was a very difficult demand to comply with but there was no doubt in my mind that I would meet the request. I knew of a tattoo salon nearby but this requirement was so personal and intimate, I decided to travel over eighty miles to a reputable salon in another town. John Irving's book about chasing a tattoo artist was on my mind as I drove the rental car to the salon. The idea that I was wandering in search of an artist to paint my ass seemed strange but so were many things about me now. I was now changing with purpose and had determined that the artwork would become a part of me. She did the tattoo work that Saturday afternoon. The intimacy of the location was embarrassing, but the artist assured me that there were a surprising number of people who had requested that she work in- between their cheeks. She worked for over two hours and the finished work was less than an inch and quarter across. Maybe it was small, but it was done. While she worked, she told me of the other interesting ones she had made and mine seemed the right size. Her name was Wendy, and to her I was just another crazy ink freak. It hurt, and she had suggested that I get a motel room for the night and remain on my tummy to allow the artwork to be exposed to air. I slept on my stomach for ten hours afterward. My bottom still stung days later, but anaisdom was ecstatic when I sent a snapshot; I reached about with my other hand holding a butt cheek wide to photograph the artwork. The next day, she again pushed me to do her will. Instruction #5 'You must follow this explicitly, or don't' 'Wearing only the undergarments I have given you lie on your tummy on the bed in Room number 203 at the Thunderbird Hotel and await the guests' The next evening I was in the room, laying across the large bed in 203 as she demanded, and I waited. I didn't know what she had planned and I was nearly naked and exposed. My breasts were now near a full B-cup and tended to get sore when I lay on my tummy and she knew this. The artwork had stopped stinging but I still applied the ointment several times a day, which increased the intensity of the red color but also helped relieve the tingling. At midnight the room door opened and I heard two people entering noisily. I didn't move or say a word as I shivered with fear. With the realization that there were two people in the room, I almost got up to run away as they came closer to the bed. I thought of the fellatio, and how Sean was happy after he had been in my mouth. Maybe these two would demand that I give them head but then something made me feel that I would be okay. I saw the two outlined by the shadows, as I had left the bathroom light on, "Set up the lights Stew," the taller of the two said. I could see their shadows on the back wall but I didn't turn. "Don't worry, Lisa, we don't want what you've got in your panty, okay?" I heard them moving the meager furnishings in the room about, and then the lights came on. I resisted the urge to turn; I was not to look at these two as they worked. Someone pulled my panty down to nearly my knees and then the other guy lifted my hips as two pillows were slid under my hips. I was on display, especially my bottom. They laughed seeing the red tongue I had allowed to be permanently but artfully applied to my ass. The red tongue was above my anal opening but the tip of the tongue appeared to wrap around the twinkled rim. "Only her hips and ass in the picture. This is the craziest assignment I have ever received but we have been paid," the first guy said. "Try and relax, Lisa." I lay still as they made the multiple sets of images over the next few minutes, with a Polaroid, I heard the rollers sound twice, and then I heard a typical camera shutter release, twenty-one times! At first I felt so anxious, but their manner was professional and as they directed me, I did become more comfortable, moving to meet their directions. I saw the bedside clock. Fifteen minutes later they had left and I turned to look over my shoulder. I saw that there was a package on the bureau. I stood in my hose' covered feet and walked to see what it was. Next to the present was a small Polaroid picture of my bottom, but my penis was not evident from the angle. The special garter straps from the suspender belt framed the image of my asshole tattoo. I became aroused, thinking of how I had allowed someone to take complete control without ever having been with me. Really, though I knew it was all on me, the tongue tattoo and now the images were completely within my control. I had simply wanted to meet each of the Instructions. I wanted to be with her, yet I was still uncertain. I worried that I knew little regarding her sexuality. The next day I got another direction. Instruction #6 'I shall be as clear as a ringing bell, follow this explicitly or don't. You must decide' 'Stand in the black heels and rose' undergarments at the corner of 9th Street and Robin at One this morning Do not turn to look at your visitor nor speak with her' Once I had walked back to the rented car, I placed the package on the car hood and opened the door. She had left on the tarmac a black satin bag with two envelopes inside. One contained a letter. The other was a lot of cash. I carefully withdrew the anal plug from my bottom, moaning as my ass released it, and I placed it on the car seat. I slowly opened her letter with her damp red panty in my other hand; I stood with the interior car light allowing me to read her letter: Lisa, my dear, These past six months have been a difficult prelude to our relationship. Only I believe that I am in control. Actually, I know that you really are and that is the strongest part of this adventure. Each Instruction has been to prove that you had the will to follow, yet tonight you can take the present I have left this evening and never see or hear from me again. The focus you have shown during this training period has been remarkable, so I hope you will address my next instruction as you have the past six. I think you will understand that, of course, I want something much more permanent. The tattoo was the beginning. Few intelligent people would agree to endure the pain of having such a tattoo made on their bottom. You have pleased your lover. The five thousand dollars is a small token. I hope that the money will induce you to leave your job tomorrow. I do not want that young man messing with your pretty mouth again. This is Instruction #7. anaisdom Instruction #7 'I'm certain that you will follow this explicitly, or don't' I opened the back door of the rented car and picked up the black dress I had left on the seat. Once I had zipped the snug fitting garment into place, I retrieved the key from the place I had secreted it, in the covered gas cap. On the drive back to my apartment, I considered what I had allowed to happen during the past months. The opportunity to change my present course had been my first thought. The cash gift would allow me to leave my job, but I liked the work. The alternative relationship suggested was what I had wanted, what I had come to need. I had become a little kinky, but it had been my decision every time that I had taken these steps to complete her Instructions. I had willingly submitted. I had dressed this evening in women's clothes and ventured out to a public meeting for the first time. A week ago for the Thunderbird rendezvous, I had dressed in my male pants and shirt to ride in the taxi. Tonight was different. I had spent at least an hour making my hair and face look feminine. These changes were related to the Instruction, but she hadn't demanded them. I had just assumed that the next step of my growth was to dress and appear as a female. I realized that this was part of my evolving gender considerations. Anyway, she hadn't even seen my face tonight so my makeup was only for myself. Her Instructions had never demanded I wear a dress, only 'the black heels and the rose' undergarments'. As I drove homeward, I saw a car pulled over ahead with a trooper standing by the door; there was a woman at the wheel and someone in the passenger seat. Then the trooper turned to move back to his vehicle. I thought of my license and the photo on it. Could I be arrested just for dressing in feminine clothing? I did not think of the large BMW as I considered this fate. The offer to leave my job was not the true test; it was the submission to another's will. I touched my right breast as I was stopped at a traffic signal to recall that I had become more than a willing partner in the fantasy. No one had actually forced me to change my body, she had asked me, created the possibility, that I would feminize myself. The will was all mine, not another person's. I had selected my path and now there was a further step to consider. I recalled the first communications from anaisdom and my personal notes I had posted to her. That was months ago and I had clearly wanted to be more than a transvestite. I wanted to become a woman, female. I had written that I wanted to live with a 'woman or couple' who might guide my transition. Her present was sitting beside me but I hadn't actually checked the sum. At the next stoplight I opened the envelope. There was a wrapped bank pack of one hundred dollar bills, also there was a small photograph. It was a picture, quite similar to the earlier image, but this one was quite clear and printed on a quality paper. It was her wearing the lace veil, which concealed part of her face in profile. Though the image was artful and vague she looked lovely. On the reverse was a handwritten note in a cursive script : 'Come be with me Lisa, with tender care, Anais' I missed the green signal and had to step on it as the light turned yellow. Driving the last few miles, I tried to avoid the larger issue. The directive, to quit my job, that was the easy part. How could this make any sense? I wanted to think of the consequences but I was tired. I needed to sleep on this next step. I had dreamed of my evolving sexuality for months but had resisted going out to meet others or make new friends; except for Charlie. Now I was exhausted and just removed my dress and heels, lying on the bed, I closed my eyes and re-visited her orgasm. My sex play was solo and simple, but now I was considering a very different relationship; was her name Anais? The possibilities were truly beyond my imagination. I climaxed, still wearing my lingerie, and fell asleep. I awoke early the following morning and checked to see if she had sent me a new message. I wanted more guidance regarding the last Instruction. I walked to the bath and saw that I had not removed my makeup. Though I wasn't presentable, I still liked what I saw. The idea of being with someone was new. I had never had a steady girlfriend. I had dated, but no one ever seemed right for me. I felt my on-line lover was somehow part of my life now. My blondish hair was now way past my shoulder blades and I loved how it felt as I moved without it up in a ponytail. It was quite extraordinary to look at the woman in my bath mirror. I was more feminine than I thought possible; there was a girl in the mirror through the smeared eye makeup. I cleaned my face carefully then I saw something new to me, the girl was still looking back at me. I walked to the kitchen and picked up the phone. Charlie had been a big help since the first time she had done my hair and makeover. That was over three months ago, and my visits every two weeks had become fun for both of us. She had also inspired my decision to purchase the clothing that this mistress had not provided. Each week I would spend hours shopping but I had been resistive to buying dresses and accessories, hence I had a limited wardrobe. The makeup supplies and undergarments I had purchased allowed me to present as a female, made easier due to my long hair, and the small mounds pressing against my blouse. "Do you have some time for me this morning, Charlie?" Charlie hesitated a moment, "Don't you have to work today, Lisa?" Then I called my boss. The job was history. My manager Cathy was unhappy, but she understood. I was about to hang up, when I heard her say something more. "I've noticed some of your personal changes, Thom," Cathy said. "Don't worry about the details. I will forward a good recommendation with your last check, and good luck." But as I began to hang up I heard her speak again. "Sorry, but, ahh, will you change your name?" Now I was curious. Cathy told me of her suspicions. "The longer hair, I noted the changes in your posture, the subtle voice and speech changes; even your fingernails." So much for my trying to conceal my appearance decisions. "You'll be fine and I like Lisa, it's a bit sexy and feminine." Then she shocked me, "Call me if you need a friend Lisa. I like you, and maybe a drink with a girlfriend would help." I had to get to the salon for my appointment. If this day was to be a new beginning, I wanted to look complete. Charlie brushed out my hair, "The nail tech is a few minutes behind. Are you sure you want quarter inch extensions? I would suggest a little shorter Lisa." We settled on a bit shorter, but she was asking a bigger question as well. "The plan you have hatched seems crazy Lisa," Charlie opined. I was convinced and said so, then Charlie said, "You have never actually spoken with this person, Sorry, now we know she is a woman." Charlie handed back the new picture. "She looks to be in her late thirties. Did she really just leave the cash there for you?" Charlie wished someone had offered her a down payment on a pair of implants, then she asked a peculiar question, "How much effect have the hormones had?" Charlie stood waiting for my response; "I mean, can you still get stiff Lisa?" I assured her that though my penis was smaller I could still become excited. "I'm not really jealous Lisa, but be careful. Well actually I am envious. Give me the address sent you this morning just in case okay? What will you wear?" The e-mail was easy to comply with, since I had already quit. The last one had included an address, and asked that I respect the next Instruction just as I had the earlier ones. It also required that I call her Anais. It stated that we would remain non-verbal until her coaching period had elapsed. Some of the mystery had been exposed but I still had a lot to adjust to. I was reviewing my outfit for the day when a text buzzed. The text as short, 'You require a teacher Lisa, to address certain needs' The follow-up text clarified the request but altered my willingness to comply: 'The woman whom I have employed will help you, listen and follow Renee's directions Lisa' This last text led to some doubt in my mind, but just then another one arrived; it was an image, of a naked man's torso, from his groin up to his head. I panicked looking at the image; my benefactor was quite clearly male, a guy named Anais? Then a call came from the same number. I allowed the connection and listened to his voice. "You have followed all of the Instructions carefully Lisa," he said. "Now you can fulfill the next one. Renee and I saw you last night, but I stayed quiet and away. I have been with someone like you. My deep desire to be with you for these past eight months has nearly been too much. Nothing I could say now will help you decide your next step Lisa. I hope you will meet with Renee this afternoon." The call was terminated and then a second image arrived. Anais was a strange name for a man but he was handsome and his face helped me relax. His eyes were an intense green and his hair salty gray. I was surprised by my excitement. I wondered how he was related to this Renee, so I texted him the question: 'Who is Renee to you Anais?' This was my first acknowledgement of his maleness. He responded quickly. 'Not a lover nor a wife, just a friend' I followed immediately with my concern: 'I haven't hidden anything, but you have Anais' The e-mail from Renee arrived thirty minutes later: 'We shall meet and help get you settled at Two this afternoon at Anais's home' I sat considering this change; Anais wanted a transgender lover. I had considered this a possibility months ago, but it was a new condition and I needed to think. I recalled the subtle delight when I had pleased Sean with my mouth, maybe this wouldn't truly be difficult. Was there a falseness to his involvement or was it my error in judgment? I had made all of the turns to bring me to this moment. I could have nothing to do with these two, just not follow-up with Renee. I wondered if his behavior was deceitful or was mine na?ve'? It was on me, and Anais had revealed to me why we were about to continue. I wanted to continue my transition, he had allowed me to activate my plan, or I could do nothing. The five thousand could bring me some independence. He was clearly testing me; I had to take a big step. I had come to realize that I was growing closer to the outlook of women, and was ready to try and undertake a woman's vocation, to give oneself lovingly, to belong to another, and to sacrifice oneself for others; in this case Anais and maybe Renee. As I sat thinking now I knew I would have to allow him to be with me, sexually, but that would require time. I knew this immediately. I couldn't get the memory of the woman last night out of my head. I wanted to be with her; I hoped that she was Renee. I sat for several hours contemplating my alternatives, and how my life, and my world would be different. I also reviewed the history of the communications with him and Renee. I pulled up my original post on the computer, in which I had offered myself as a 'willing partner to an individual or couple'; now I appreciated that I had not specified a woman, and reading this again caused a shift in my head. The submissive attitude was still in my brain; I had wanted to be different, and physically I had become so. This change was now my future, and the sexuality I wanted to live was no longer pretending. I was no longer a male; that character 'Thom' had slipped away. I was a woman now, and having sex with a man was what was required of most women. I could run off with the cash, but as each hour passed, and I considered my options I became more aware that what I wanted was Renee, and maybe I even wanted to be with Anais, but I did not want to be alone. Again I considered my subversive need to force myself, to become a female, the expression of femininity I harbored. I decided to pause this affair for a few days, and sent off a text to Anais's number but it was Renee who now called my phone. Her voice was reassuring as she spoke softly; it was her in the lot last night. She took the time to explain the relationship and her involvement in my transition. She told me that I would not see nor meet Anais until the following weeks of adjustment were settled. I read Anais's last text while Renee talked and it gave me some strength: 'You have earned my respect Lisa, but the Instructions may become more difficult' I told Renee that I needed more time, "You can do so Lisa. Take the day. Go out for a walk, but realize that he, we, mean you no harm. Remember that first Instruction said, 'It shall be clear and you will follow this explicitly, or you will not' She ended the call. I walked to the window, thinking about my plan to live differently. I had to decide how having a man in this 'play' affected the outcome. The tone of each of the text Instructions was without gender, but I had clearly applied my own image to anaisdom. Maybe I should have anticipated this all along, while being pushed towards a feminine sexuality. Anais was actually the motivator of the changes that were now me, Lisa. Without someone supporting my desire, I may never have gone this far. I reached to touch my breasts, but also turned to look in the mirror. A woman stood in my room not Thom. I may have initiated the trek to be someone female, but Renee's and Anais's support allowed me to develop a resolve by simply acknowledging me. The cash in the envelope did nothing new to the plan except provide an alternative to getting in the taxi and meeting Renee again tomorrow or some other day. It was just that I wanted her, the woman who was with me in that dark lot. I sat down and reconsidered the submissiveness I had exhibited during these seven or so months. What if he was aggressive or mean? I knew that women could also be harsh but somehow I knew she, Renee, would nurture rather than hurt me. I held her photo in the day lit room and noticed something I had missed. I walked to the large window to better illuminate the photo. There was another person in the shot; it was Anais. He stood in a shadow but was reflected in the glass. These two people had carefully achieved my willing submission and they were both still working on my seduction. At least today I had a perspective, as the seducee, I wanted something from them. I could not decide how I would proceed. I recalled a book report from my English class, in college, by Madame de Stael of France, "the desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man." Their seduction had allowed me to consider my gender, and their behavior, although not overt, was a subtle form of dominance. I wondered about their hierarchy, was it she or he, leading me? I could no longer be indeterminate; I would have to choose my path, as I was the emprise, and I would act. I had other things to deal with and I decided to focus on those now. With my hair up in a cap I wrapped my chest and dressed in my jeans to return the rented car. At the door I realized that I had applied my face this morning. I went to the bath and removed the mascara and lipstain, the blush and my soft eyeliner. The drive was time to distract me and the Beatles tunes accomplished that. The rental attendant remembered me from yesterday afternoon, as I had not been en-femme. He was all business. I had called for a cab ride back to my apartment. I received a texted, Renee telling me that she would send a car to pick me up tomorrow afternoon. She must have sensed that I would be ready, though I needed more time, I didn't object to her direction. 'Minimize the size of the travel bag you bring, for I will settle your new world here Lisa' I walked up the flight of stairs and knew something about me had been altered. Inside I ripped off my male outfit and ran to the bedroom to re-dress. This was how I knew I would travel tomorrow. It had been nearly eight months, but I now could not stand being a male. So this man has a cock and so do I; mine is not quite what it had been, but my chest felt wonderful, I loved my breasts and the feminine feeling. I was more a woman today then at anytime since birth, and if the two people I had been aided by wanted me to suck and be fucked, I would comply. I sent Renee a text note: 'Maybe the following day, I need another day to think' What I had determined was that I would call a cab and visit the shops downtown. It was so infrequent I went there so no one would know me. I called Charlie to confirm the idea and she suggested that she could meet me for a drink or dinner. I dressed simply in a skirt and blouse, medium heels and pantyhose. I touched up my face, a little moodier seemed right, and walked down to the waiting cab. The first stop was a branch of my bank where I deposited the cash. It made me feel independent looking at the teller's receipt. I window- shopped and purchased a small shoulder bag. The saleswoman discarded the old one. She commented on my pearl necklace and the gold bracelet and I smiled back. Her comments led me to a jeweler who confirmed that the pearls were authentic and antiques. Her estimate of the worth of the two items was three thousand, five hundred dollars. I asked her whether I could actually sell them to the store but she suggested a trader and told me that the cash value was at least nineteen hundred. The jewelry was quite a gift from Anais. At a women's shoe store I tried on several pairs and selected a two hundred dollar pair of pumps with nearly a four-inch heel. The woman explained to me the benefits of quality heels and my feet agreed. I left the old pair behind and moved along the boulevard to a store that offered piercings. "Nothing crazy Miss, just a single hole in both ears." I waited while she finished the girl who wanted her belly button done. I watched and was surprised that she didn't scream or flinch. I left after twenty minutes with a gold post in each ear. Later I met Charlie. She looked wonderful when fully dressed. We spent two-hours talking and drinking. I called for a cab after seven. My feet were reasonably comfortable; the heel purchase was a winner. I now knew my femininity was acceptable, as no one had questioned me, even when I used Thom's credit card at the bar. In the morning I would text Renee. It was incomprehensible that what I had asked for over seven months ago was about to happen. I hadn't resisted the first Instruction because there was a pledge to not cause me any harm. The request was of my doing and now I had allowed myself to become this woman; I had transitioned. I wondered how long I could live off of the small sum that Anais had given me if I chose that route forward; at least a few months and then I could apply for a new position but I would need to have some paperwork changed. As I walked up the steps to my second floor apartment, I looked at the simple room; it was nearly dark. The small one bedroom unit was comfortable, but it was not quite a home. My new world conditions would require more closets. I considered the ride tomorrow, again. My only sexual coupling before Sean had been when I was much younger and the girl had enjoyed my earnest tongue licking her body, but I had cum so quickly I had actually not entered her body. Now I was setting up my inaugural event as a woman. I needed guidance but could not rely on anyone. I could use a glass of wine but had none and couldn't go out now. I was tired and needed a soothing bath. As I soaked I realized that previously I had not enjoyed the tub. Sleep would bring on a new step and I was excited by what lay ahead. Renee had assured me that Anais would cover my rent and utilities during my stay with him and Renee. Leaving the small pad behind might be premature so I cleaned up and relaxed. I wondered about his privilege; he had been culpable all along but then so had I. I pondered if I would be a woman today had Anais told me his gender from the start. It was really Renee as well though. Was she the puppet master, or just an agent of change? Would she become my lover? Why had she been interested in me all those months ago? I somehow fell asleep on the sofa, waking at three in the morning. I fell naked into the bed and slept until nine. I had planned to dress in a red dress, but paused as I considered my makeup. Sitting down to relax wearing only my white slip and a thong, I considered the phone on the table. I picked it up and began to call Renee, but terminated the connection twice. I stepped to my computer and reviewed the first communications and my pictures. Comparing the image of me, the transvestite, to myself now was enlightening. Twenty minutes later I had decided. There was nothing surprising about my decision. I felt obliged by my imagination to continue, as my goal was to be with someone and not to be alone. This was part of me rationalizing my gender shift. I had looked again and again at the image of Anais, at the picture with his penis. Something had changed, and though I would not admit to wanting him I knew somehow I would find a new sense of self, a female self, that would allow and possibly need to be penetrated. I wondered when I might be back here. A part of me hoped that I would never return. I spent thirty minutes preparing my face, and after I was satisfied, I dressed for the ride to the house. I had cleaned my lingerie yesterday and set about preparing for the shower. I had chosen from my few dresses a red one with ruching along the bodice; it had capped sleeves and fell to above my knee. It was a size eight. I found a package of new pantyhose and the new black pumps were the best alternative. I slipped on the two pieces of jewelry that I had not worn that night at the parking lot; the pearl necklace and the gold bracelet. I felt amazing as I reviewed the outfit in the tall mirror. I had gathered the minor things I thought I would bring with me to Anais's home; my camera, and the computer of course, but I realized I didn't want to bring anything else. At the last minute, I folded my nice jeans, a sweater and a dress shirt. My black loafers went into the bag as well. I thought about their visit to the empty parking lot the other night as I waited for the car. I looked out across the suburban landscape of my apartment as I recalled the sound of Renee's steps. Anais had been there too, I now knew; he was the other Renee had spoken of. I sighed with resolve and knew that I would not miss this place. I yearned to continue the transition to Lisa's world and I felt certain that Renee would keep me busy over the next few days. Renee sent a text confirming that the car was on the way. I walked down the stairs to the waiting car slowly, with the tall black pumps sounding on the concrete steps, and I considered the events that were about to unfold. The driver was at the back door and he smiled. I slipped into the car, holding my dress hem down as I swiveled in, and I didn't turn to look back. Anais and I had somehow caused my life to shift and I felt I needed to get on with it. My purse was in my lap; it was new and somehow symbolic. I saw my knees, smooth and exposed, as the hem had slipped higher. The inexpensive pantyhose didn't shine too much. I looked at my left hand, the nail color was subtle and the length nice. I saw the fold-down mirror and checked my face. I rode away from my apartment thinking only of next step. I smiled feeling yesterday was a good decision, and the earring openings caused no pain. The black heels made my outfit perfect, together with the pearl necklace and the gold bracelet. I wondered what Renee might be like and how she would change me for Anais. - - - - - - - - - - Act II The turn into the drive surprised me. Anais's home wasn't large but was set amongst beautiful low rolling hills. There was a fork in the narrow drive with a small sign: Guest House. Up ahead, the driver saw someone waiting. The driver spoke, "She is the woman who paid me this afternoon. Two hundred bucks, for a thirty-minute assignment," but then he was quiet. Renee opened the right rear door smiling at me. I was hesitant, but her hand was reaching for me, her face was so lovely. She wore tan- toned pants with her black heels and an off-white colored blouse. I noted the strand of large pearls about her neck and a diamond on her right hand. She smiled and spoke to me as she reached to take my right hand, "Welcome to Anais's home Lisa. I am Renee, your tutor." When I stood near, she kissed my cheeks. We were nearly the same height. As she spoke, I looked into her eyes and felt somehow safe; and then she pulled me into a hug and our breasts touched. There was a sort of electric tingle between us. Our introduction was pleasant and I was excited, for Renee was a beauty. Her waist was trim and narrow and I could see the lace of her brassiere through the blouse's ivory fabric. Her dark hair was quite short and I liked her studded earrings, three in each lobe. "Lisa, the earring were a good decision," she said as her hand remained on my hip, she then turned and I followed her. After a short tour of the main level of the home Renee stopped at my simple room. "You will use this room until you can better walk the stairs in heels Lisa. Here is my first Instruction," I remembered that I was told that I would not meet Anais for several weeks. She handed me a wax-sealed envelope, then she turned to leave, closing the door to the small suite. Instruction A 'You are now my charge. Do everything I ask and I will treat you fairly. Disobey and your bottom will regret it' The note had three items : 1) find and read the book on etiquette 2) use the media system and watch the two movies in the queue 3) use the computer, study the life and times of Madame Pierre Gautreau The book was simple, and Renee had added notes such as 'read this each morning' and 'write this down by your bed to remind you of your role'. The first movie was "Belle de Jour" with Catherine Deneuve from the late sixties. I hadn't seen the film and the theme of soft domination and casual lesbians of Paris surprised me. The second was the "Story of O". I had heard of O, but I had not seen that film either. The plot involved O's two lovers who subjected her to sadomasochistic rituals, and anal sex. Renee had hung a large print of the Sargent painting, "Madame X", in the room. She had also left several scholarly papers on the subject, Virginie Gautreau. Her notes directed me to the closet to find a black gown quite similar to the one used in the Sargent portrait. I felt the something new, a developing sexual tension, being near this other woman as I looked at the long black gown and back, to notice the resemblance to the painting. There was a tag attached : 'The gown will soon fit you Lisa' Near eight that first evening the phone in my room rang quietly. "Come and have a glass of wine with me Lisa." It was Renee. When I entered the Library, Renee stood and we cheek-kissed. "So, you have read the book on etiquette," she said as her hand ran down my back and across my bottom. I wondered about this intimate touch. "Anais is pleased that you are comfortable," she continued pulling her hand away. I was still dressed in my red dress. I spoke of the evening sunlight, "This is a beautiful room Renee." She stood and stepped to my side. "No! I am Miss Renee to you!" She glared at me and I apologized. She sat down again, and I saw her knees as the nude-colored dress split slightly open. She had changed from this afternoon. The Maid walked in and discreetly handed her a glass. "We will sit every evening as we are tonight Lisa." Renee directed me to sit across on the simple chair. I looked at her sitting on the black sofa, and beautiful taupe body-hugging dress excited me. The dress hem crept up while she settled on the seat I saw her hose' and the red welt and attaching clasps. She saw my eyes roaming over her body. After a few sips of the wine she motioned for me to stand. "Take off that cheap rag Lisa. Maid!" The woman came to her side in an instant, "Yes Miss Renee?" "Discard that rag. No burn it immediately." This was said with less malice. As the Maid left the room with my red dress I saw that beside Renee, lying over the back of the other chair was another dress. My white slip covered my body. My pantyhose helped hold my tucked bits. "You are going to lose that little belly Lisa. How much do you weight and how tall are you today?" she asked and her tone had softened. I told Miss Renee, "I'm at one hundred thirty-six pounds and my height is sixty-seven inches, Miss Renee." She reached for a notebook in which she wrote some notes. "Then you have reduced your tummy somewhat over the past month, but I will help you achieve the required loss Lisa. It may take several weeks but I can be patient." She continued, "Let's start this evening Lisa. I aspire that you work with me to achieve classic grace," but she was somewhat angry again. "Maid!" Quickly the maid came to her side. "Bring the strapped heels I set on the Hall breakfront." A moment later, the Maid bent beside me and helped me remove my new black pumps. "To the trash," Miss Renee murmured but she again quickly changed her tone. "You move too roughly for a lady Lisa." I started to whimper with the new heels headed to the trash. She saw my tears and asked, "Why are you crying Lisa?" I explained the recent purchase and she signaled for the Maid to show her the heels. "These are of good quality. She may keep these," Renee turned back to help me. With the taller heels strapped to my feet, Miss Renee directed me to stand and motioned for me to walk about in my slip. "When I played with myself at the dark corner, did it excite you Lisa?" she asked as a lewd smile crossed her face. I nodded, for I sensed her mood. She wanted to set a tone. "Did you enjoy my scent, on the thong I left for you Lisa?" Miss Renee asked. Again I nodded. "I loved that you had used the anal device Lisa. Come here please," she said. There was a subtle dominance to many things about Renee, just as there was some level of submission in me, but this did not define her. I simply saw her as a sensualist, quite like Sylvia was, in "La Dolce Vita". Her attention these past months I saw as nurturing, rather than romance. The affection she held for me was drug-like, yet she was more sophisticated then I could ever hope to be, until this moment. I watched her roll to her hip on the sofa as she lifted her dress hem. I saw the beautiful nude-toned hose' and crimson suspender holding the hose' welt. As she shifted slowly I saw that her bottom was filled with a ruby plug. Skip my earlier thought; from sophisticate to coquette I realized, my arousal with her so near jumped several notches. "I want you to remove my toy Lisa." I just stood looking at her ass. I couldn't see her vulva for she had placed her left hand over her sex; then I saw her right finger suggesting that I needed to be nearer. Moving slowly, I bent down to my knees, placed my fingers atop the stone and slowly twisted it, for I knew that these toys could become settled and care was necessary to release the anal muscle holding the plug tightly within. "Lisa, how turned on are you by witnessing my body? Does the boy still want my pussy or does the girl want to lick my ass?" She was excited by this act. I loved how her scent filled my nose, how the metal of the plug was slipping about in my fingers. Twice her bottom muscle retracted it within when my grasp failed. I considered my answer quickly but as I was about to speak she shushed me by touching my lips with her finger. "I think we both know that there is only a female inside your head now, don't we Lisa?" I nodded in agreement. As I withdrew the object, Renee did not moan but spoke, "Now pull your pantyhose down and stuff that into your bottom Lisa." Her request required a moment, and I placed the shiny steel probe on the table as I shifted to get the tight waistband of my pantyhose down about my thighs. I looked at Renee to see her watching for my sex to pop loose, but I had tucked carefully. The thong covered my tumescence as I picked up the toy, but Renee stood and took it from me. "I would like to see my metal toy part your red tongue, please. When I saw the first snapshot of your ass-art, I could hardly believe that you had actually conformed to the request. Anais knew that you were special when I shared the image file." I moved to allow her access, as her hand pushed apart my slim thighs. Then she licked the plug, positioned it at my opening and slowly my bottom opened and she pushed the probe inside me. This evening our introduction had allowed me to see her gaping bum hole, and the edges of her outer, aroused and swollen lips were evident. I was stirred by her near again, and was full of lust; I gasped as she pushed the red plug into me. "Good god Lisa, you are more advanced then I would have guessed." She stood as I did, and my bottom lips sealed about her device. "The lube is helpful dear," she meant the Pjur, which was still coating her toy. My panty was soaked for I had released as her fingers completed the insertion. Now she sat again, "We are interested in simply walking Lisa; perambulating would best define your goal. An elegant stroll might also be a good description." Renee demonstrated her walk, which was not overtly model-like but her shoulders stayed level and her hip slightly swayed. I listened to her direction, and when directed to walk for her I tried to carry myself with some care. She wasn't harsh in her critique but I knew why the practice was necessary. The toy in my bottom was a pleasure but I required focus to meet her expectations. "We will discover your passions, and pleasures, and weed out those 'impurities' that being born a boy has allowed into your frame." Hearing her voice was enchanting, having only silence for months, but I wondered to what extent she would instruct me. I considered myself clearly able to pass as a woman, and my body movement was comfortably not male-like. Charlie told me this only yesterday. Renee spoke as she walked now along side me; "Your purpose is not to appear self-assured and poised, but to be truly and actually self- confident, from deep within Lisa. This will be difficult to instill but I will be here to ensure that you in fact do acquire grace, dear," she smiled as she said, "and so will Anais dear." As she continued to talk of the work ahead I thought of Eliza Doolittle and her master, Professor Higgins. I had become a sort of a reversal of Pygmalion, though George Shaw might be rolling in his death box if he saw a transwoman such as me. I wondered how I might enjoy having Renee bathe me, but having been walking in front of her for fifteen minutes she sent me to the bedroom. "You may clean yourself and remove my plug for this night, but I would like you, please consider, re-watching the films again." I stood and looked it her bottom as she elegantly moved out of the room. I was denied dinner or supper to allow the fasting to set into my head. I found a note on my bed. Instruction B 'You will arise early Lisa. Find the two kits in the suite's bath and address your toilette' At nine the Maid pounded on my door. I had been awake for nearly two hours and had dressed and walked to open the door. Smiling I asked, "Miss, do you have a name or does Miss Renee's term 'Maid' apply? What name should I called you?" She didn't answer but she turned and I followed her. Upon entering the breakfast room I saw Miss Renee and she smiled and complimented me. "I like the simple skirt and blouse outfit, and the medium heel is acceptable for today, Lisa." I had spent last evening reviewing the suite she had given me. I had checked the various drawers and wardrobe to confirm that most of the clothes could, or more correctly would, eventually fit me. The three- inch heels were the least-tall shoe option. There were no flats, fifteen or so pair of heels; the only two other items for my feet, a pair of slippers and a pair of white sneakers. The high-heeled shoes were beautiful, but how would I walk each day; I had selected the shortest pair this morning. "We will spend the day thinking of refining your balance and movement Lisa. I will be here to review how you keep yourself focused. There is a computer set up for you in the library. You will use it to find your first lessons." The thought of Professor Higgins re-occurred to me as I went to the library and began. She filled my days with exercises and adjustments. Once again I was alone to focus and re-create myself. This work, the practice, the lessons with Renee, was somewhat similar to Anais's earlier Instructions. I was the one making these changes to myself. I was the determinant of what I studied and therefore how I would further change my being to a feminine gender. As I left her I asked Miss Renee and she simply smiled. I easily found the bookmarked sites that Miss Renee suggested to me, but quickly delved into my own search and learned on my own the proper stride of an elegant woman. One video focused solely on the head, another was on 'dance walking'. I practiced the postures and moves until mid-afternoon when the Maid came in. "There is a simple soup for you. Please follow me." I walked a few steps behind the Maid and tried to mimic her walk. The practice had helped, but I had a ways to go. This woman could move gracefully compared to my steps. "Can I walk behind you some more after I have eaten please?" She returned after twenty minutes. I followed and we paraded about for nearly forty minutes. "Miss Renee says we are not to speak though Lisa. Afterward you are to shower and dress for the evening." After the exercise, I was tired and my ankles throbbed. I entered my room and closed the door. I went to the closet and looked again at the black gown on the hanger. I removed my skirt and top and with difficulty I stepped into the gown. As I pulled it to bringing it to my hips it was snug. I didn't wish to damage it, so I immediately removed it and placed it in the closet. I was now aware of the plan Renee spoke of. I figured more than two weeks of focus and her attention were necessary. I masturbated while in the shower, to my memory of her standing behind me in the dark lot the other night. Dinner was a simple salad with some chilled tuna on the side. Miss Renee ate with me and discussed her requirements for this activity as well. We had spent several hours together today and her mood was less assertive. I knew that she was empowering me and there was a special freedom; I did not speak of this with Miss Renee. I retired to my suite to read another book on manners. The next day, the Maid came to awaken me with a new dress and a pink satchel of lingerie. "Today Miss Renee would like you to wear these and the taller heels Miss Lisa." The dress felt marvelous over the lingerie but the Maid had to assist me with the hose' and suspenders. The silk sleeveless A-line dress had red piping along the knee-length hem. The material moved about as I practiced with the Maid. - - - - - - - - - - Miss Renee kept me focused over the following ten days. Her daily Instructions focused on training my posture and then my hand movements, and also my speech and phrasing. This was more work than I had thought possible, but slowly the changes settled and my movement and manner changed. I was tiring of the gait and balance tutoring and I still hadn't met or seen Anais. Then she began a new group of lessons, and her sexual guidance began. She explained the importance of self-confidence in seduction. Renee described the importance of wearing lingerie, and having a scent about me at all times, not to overpower, but to entice. I realized that Miss Renee was no longer stern with me and that her tone didn't convey an ultimate control. "Lisa, we also need to know how to look at someone. It can be quite erotic to use only your eyes and face to send a signal or communicate a desire." She would comeback to this lesson every few days, for I struggled to accomplish the demure character she desired. Her lessons were wide ranging, "Adornment has always been part of the allure Lisa." She showed me how to assemble my outfits to suggest a sexuality and yearning. "A lover will appreciate your care and attention to their world so you need to be aware, to listen and observe," hearing her, I wondered if she could be seduced, but it was a crazy idea. We were sitting one evening and Miss Renee was telling me of her happiness, "You are a good student Lisa, but the next group of studies, well these are must more intimate". She opened her bag and withdrew a toy penis, I watched as she slipped to the floor. She pushed my thighs apart and placed the phallus on the edge of my chair. She opened her mouth and her tongue licked around the base of this cock-thing. She kept looking at me as she teased the toy, licking slowly and tenderly. I was aroused and her hand moved to push my thighs wider. Then she shifted the phallus to atop my mons and continued her wordless instruction. I could feel her moving as her mouth now focused on just the fake dick. This was how her overt sex act training began. "Fellatio is an essential skill Lisa, but it requires care and practice. You should be able to take a penis into your mouth and some bit into your throat, not like a whore or porn star, but with grace and ease." She demonstrated with her simple cock object at first, "I hope you are excite each time we practice," but she said as I climaxed this first time for her moving at my mons was too much, "but never forget that you desire penetration. His cock in your mouth, or your opening, either way." The toys she left were varied and over a week I found away to enjoy the activity, though mostly when she was participating. There was the moment on the fifth evening, we were in the library, and I was on my knees with the cock positioned on the glass table. She watched me fellating her fleshy toy for some minutes and I was so aroused, that I surprised her and myself, and orgasmed without any mons or penile stimulation. "Very good Lisa," she was panting, I hoped with excite, or lust, "That was fun to watch! You are getting quite capable," she moved closer and exposed her sex, "Now come and kiss my pussy. You have me in a state, oh shit, please, girl, lick me now. I need some release." I told her that I had never properly performed cunnilingus, "Well we have the some time now, don't we!" Later she walked me to my suite. "You will need more instruction, though I did orgasm Lisa." I slept after she had left my suite. She had twice cum on my face, and though I was told to shower, I fell asleep covered in her feminine juice. The next evening at dinner, we spoke of her first time of being with a woman. She eventually shared her most exciting memory, "My lover Justine, she wore a strap-on dildo and though I had never had anal intercourse, during that long night, she penetrated me. I am... , well, my panty is soaked remembering how she loved my body that glorious night Lisa," Hearing her speak of being with another woman aroused me, as I hoped she would be with me soon. She told me of Justine's slow entry, "She knew how to fuck a butt Lisa." I was beside myself as Renee spoke so lewdly, "Especially my tight back door; ahh, yes. She started my anal loving that night Lisa." I had a minor exposure to anal play. The plug had been with me for several months and every time I had it within me I was aroused to distraction. Pushing a larger toy into my body was daunting and I asked Renee, "Will it be painful, I mean, to have his penis within me?" She explained that she would help me understand this sexual act as well, "All penetration can become painful, but the lover who wants to bring you joy, and a climatic release, your fulfillment, can insert his penis without causing serious pain Lisa. The Instructions have all had some consequence, for you, and penetration will as well. The toys will be helpful but that is enough said on this future event." I had released as she finished speaking and then she stood. Miss Renee could see something had caused me to flush. "Just remember Lisa, it is better when two are satisfied," I watched as she pulled her skirt down after smiling, "go and wash that thong please." She was near the door when I asked, "When will Anais, I mean to ask, might he return soon." She stopped and told me, "He hasn't left Lisa. You simply are not allowed to see him quite yet," said Renee. The following day I was annoyed and resisted saying anything. The study with her guidance carried on for another week and she seemed pleased. I had been careful under her stern and watchful eye, but I was beginning to feel so differently, and wanted some attention from her. She refused my need and said I must be patient, "All women have waited, and you can as well Lisa." After a quiet lunch during the third week I spent several hours studying a Russian make-up artist's videos at the computer in the Library. Then I found the envelope on the mouse pad. Instruction E 'I want to teach you restraint and control. There is a different level that you can decide to find. The world you desired is at hand but you must select and request it Lisa' The regimen of this personal transition was coming to an end. I needed some relief but Renee was explicit. I was still in training and hence Anais would not see me. This woman had control over me and except for my fellatio episodes, I had not been allowed to orgasm. Renee had seen me play in the shower that first time and forbade me to self-release. I tried to find a private opportunity but it just wasn't allowed. As I showered each evening the Maid now watched me. Though I tried to bring myself off she would stop me at each attempt. My dreams during my fourth week at Anais's home were filled with him and several mornings I awoke with my neglig?e covered in my semen. The dreams were not recalled, but I could sense that my arousal was caused by my thoughts of Anais on my body, loving my little prick and kissing my nipples and caressing my breasts. - - - - - - - - - - Miss Renee's tutorial continued for over four weeks. One afternoon Renee came to my room and went to the closet and removed the gown. She came to the bath and found me preparing; "Let's see if this fits now Lisa." I smiled while she came beside me. As she draped the beautiful garment up to my shoulders, "Should I put on some hose' Renee?" I asked. She no longer demanded that I call her Miss Renee. She told me that I could but that would not be necessary for today. I slipped the straps of my lace brassiere off; "Only the thong can remain Lisa as the dress requires one to be naked." I stepped into the gown wearing my tiny but secure thong as Renee held open the gown and she helped me bring it up and over my hips, "The HRT has helped you here Lisa. Anais loves looking at your bum." I looked at her as she said this. "He watches me?" I cooed, as I cast my eyes downward and reached to pull the braid loose as she pulled the long zipper up slowly. With two sets of hands we still struggled to get the garment in place. "It is secure, now turn towards the mirror Lisa." and I saw her smiling; her eyes excited by the outfit and my presence. She suggested that my body was indeed changed since I had arrived, then she caught my pose. "Oh Lisa, you are a flirt! I can tell you; in that dress you look wonderful. Turn about slightly." I saw in the tall mirror that the open bodice exposed my nipples to view as the black material shifted. I noticed the strap on my right shoulder kept slipping off. "It was made to easily slide Lisa, like the original portrait," Renee offered as I moved the jeweled strap back upward. "No, no Lisa, your hair needs to be up," Renee came and fussed. As she pinned my braid up in a loose bun I wondered about the meaning of this gown to Anais. Then she bent to help me slip on the taller pair of heels since the dress hem was too long; it was meant to just touch the floor. She spoke of the three cameras as she adjusted the straps on my shoes. Each location didn't seem overtly intrusive; the Hall, the Library, and the Kitchen. "He can watch you moving about the house on the cameras, and of course I can send him images from the shower unit if I feel he should see anything. I am protecting your privacy Lisa; I feel Anais should not see a woman's toilette. In another week you may be ready, but it will only be your decision to remain here with Anais. You may elect to leave his home then, or now, today if you elect to. No one is restraining you." I smiled, looking at the reflection of us standing beside one another. 'No restraining' did not include my sexual release. I considered the two of us in the mirror; her shorter hair was sexy and with mine up, I felt special. I saw her reviewing how I moved my head as I had studied the notes about Sargent's model, Madame Gautreau. Back when the painting was displayed there was hysteria due to its sensual pose, and I had nearly found the position. I saw Renee smile, "You have quite a lovely neck Lisa as you are turned, there slightly to the left. The training has been effective." It has been suggested that Sargent might have seen the painting of Madame Gautreau as a study of androgyny; in his mind, there may have been a feminine man dressed and sitting for him, though it was the beautiful Madame Gautreau he painted. Now Anais could be watching me wearing the dress he had produced to mimic the one from the Sargent portrait. The sensual afternoon lingered as she helped me remove the gown. Actually I had accomplished much of the weight loss, as I was ten pounds slimmer, but there was still work to do. After the fitting Renee told me that Anais might be willing to meet the following day, or the next. I was almost naked as she reached and pushed the thong aside, to hold my flaccid sex and I began to stiffen. Though less than a month earlier she had suggested, "We will be with each other some night, Lisa," this news was exciting, but she hadn't come to my suite in the night. I remained frustrated as she now drew me close, and she moved my hand into the fold of her dress, to touch her sex. She was naked beneath her dress. "Are you curious about sleeping with a woman Lisa?" She touched my hip as I smiled, thinking of us together. The weeks of training had worn on me, but I had come to enjoy Renee's company. Miss Renee was somehow pleased right now, and I dropped to my knees to kiss and lick her vulva. With me licking her she spoke of the painting again, "A woman is controlled by the view the world offers," she moaned, "Oooh yes, Lisa, oh," she gasped. "Her body is reviewed, ah, and judged, ohh there, regardless of the sacrifice she has made. Only she decides if she is acceptable. Madame Gautreau changed her view of the portrait, oh yes, after the initial shock, ohh Lisa, yes, lick my cunt!" she was squeezing my head with her thighs, "ah well, the painting," she didn't complete the statement as I finished between her legs. My face was covered with her ooze as she moaned from my loving tongue and lips, but it was a soft orgasm. As I prepared for sleep that evening I smiled seeing my thin waist and the real breasts defining my silhouette. I heard the door slowly open and Renee stood wearing only an ivory satin gown and her ivory heels. I saw a bump at her groin and wondered if she was also a transwoman. "No my dear. This one will feel good inside your body but it isn't warm like a penis," she softly said as she moved closer and I saw the fleshy fake dick erect and the tip above her mons. As she closed the door I moved to my knees as she had instructed me. I awaited her action to adjust my position. She had shared several faux phalluses with me during the past week to prepare me for tonight, and her fellatio training had been the only sexual release I had been allowed. I had orgasmed several times while giving her toys head. This past week her slim toy had been inserted and I now could see her phallus was glistening with the lube. Now looking up to her face, I was excited. Though she was years older her body was sexy and her arousal was evident. I now saw she had worn nude toned pantyhose on her legs. "We will attempt to make this special Lisa. Anais is watching us on the monitor," she nodded at the small new camera she had placed on the bureau. "He can see us dear, but he will not hear us." I was dressed only in my hose' and thong but I had carefully prepared my face and applied the rouge she had left for me on my areolas. The Maid had helped me with my hair. It was now long and flowed down my back, but she had braided it so it fell over my left shoulder. I closed my eyes as Renee moved to rub her faux cock across my red stained lips. My tongue liked her toy, and I kissed the soft pink tip as she moved it back and forth, then into my mouth. "You are a cocksucker for me tonight Lisa? You like my dick in your mouth?" She had told me this was an act and we would try and stay on script. "My dick is so hard for you Lisa," Renee sighed, as I played and teased her toy dick and held the base, which disappeared into her wet vagina. I opened my lips as Renee slowly pushed the fleshy toy across my wet tongue. The softness of this toy was the thing that caused me to lose it the last time we had practiced. Renee held us still now, as I suckled her thick penis. My tongue flickered along the lower edge. "That feels wonderful, so good Lisa. Push your mouth down atop my cock," I now felt that the fleshy penis was somehow vibrating within her pussy. I pulled back, and ran my fingers up and down her slippery fake tube. As I bobbed up and down on just the top of her long shaft, I reached back to twist the anal plug I had pushed into myself before she had entered my suite. Renee saw the action reflected in the large mirror. "Nice, that you have remembered the plug Lisa. It is your bottom that Anais wants to play with." As I licked and suckled on her fake prick I realized that she would fuck me tonight. She would do so for Anais, so that Anais could see this act. For months, I had given my choice to Anais and now he was giving my body's special opening to another. I wondered if this would be my fate. Would Anais come to me and be my lover or would he remain separate and away? Renee was quite aroused by the fellatio of her toy, as it moved about inside her body, and she reached to touch my bottom, "Next can I go here Lisa?" and she pulled the thong aside and slowly removed the plug from my bottom. She brought it her lips, "ahh Miss Renee, oh yes," I moaned as she then extended the plug to my mouth, I kissed it before she dropped it to the floor. A moment later, she had me on my back and was slowly rubbing her dick across my twinkled fleshy opening. Her hand held the thong panel while she adjusted the tip of her cock. I looked to her face as she pushed the head slowly into my body, but she withdrew again teasing my hole. I was on my back across the ottoman, "Ohh, ohh, ahh, careful Renee, oh slow," I cried softly, as she pushed the tip past my ring and then paused, deep within me. I had stalled my breathing as she entered me and now gasped loudly, "Oh, ahh, Renee, oh!". The plugs had been my only penetrative toys before coming to live with Renee. After the past week of her sex play I knew, I could handle the dildo, but I was anxious. "Ahh, uh ooow, it's so big," I groaned as the head slipped deeper, slowly, "Oh, oohh my, it's opening, oh yes Renee, ahh, you, your cock is, oh god yes, it's inside of me!" I now sighed with a rushed breath. I saw her looking down at me as she pushed just a bit deeper into my body. She blew me a kiss, "Let your bum relax around my dick Lisa. We do not want the pain, only your submission Lisa." We stayed still for several minutes as she bent to kiss me as our breasts rubbed together. This was an amazingly intimacy, her dick was shifting slightly in my bottom, but our tongue were Frenching. This was the first time for me, and she wanted this too, to be with me, to initiate my womanhood. I was still breathing roughly, but I asked her if Anais would mind that she was the first. "No Lisa, I am the one who has decided; he and I agreed to this months ago, before I had requested your tattoo. He was unsure of the process of allowing your transition," she was caressing my thigh and she leaned to kiss me. The cock was inside my body, as we lay still, I asked her if he had been with her, "Yes Lisa, several times. We have been lovers, but those sexual unions were more to ensure I understood, what he needed in a lover." She now moved her lips to my breast and my nipple, causing it to stiffen. She had told me of her bisexual nature and how the other women she had been with had influenced her lovemaking. "Has Anais, I mean Renee," she was moving slowly, the action of her body and the cock within me made me pause. I grimaced, but she stopped. I moment later I breathed out and asked, "Has he been in your bottom Renee?" She nodded but said, "Yes, each time, maybe four nights, for I wanted to school him," she smiled as the cock settled deeply and we were still again, "Anal sex, well he needed to learn to be caring, to be slower; men can be too assertive and can hurt a girl." I now felt her pull back and out somewhat. Then she pushed into me again. Her joy of anal was based on her past lovers and now she hoped to make my sexual joy, equal to hers. "Oh, god Renee, ohhh, you, your cock is, fucking, ahh, ohh," I closed my eyes. I was surprised how her phallus felt now as she had been inside me for several minutes, "I really love how you feel, you're inside of me, I love how your cock feels Renee," I moaned, and she smiled and again bent to kiss me, our breast touching once more. "Your subtle twitching has allowed you, oh god, yes, you're deep in my body." Now she pulled my face to hers and ravished my mouth and I felt her dick moving and I wanted more of her, and I could feel the vibrations. My hands came to hold her face as we licked and kissed each other. We were both fucking my tight ass. "Will Anais's cock feel this good Renee?" I softly asked. She whispered, " Yes Lisa, his cock will be so much better," she kissed me as she pushed into me again, and our mouths continued to kiss and love one another. "I think I am ready Renee." She had allowed me to stop using 'Miss'. Now she moved off my breasts, and began to slowly pull the cocktoy from my body and she almost escaped, before gliding back within me, she was fucking me. I held her arm to steady myself on the edge of the ottoman. "Shift up onto the bed Lisa." We did so but the cock of course slipped out of my body. She adjusted and moved up the bed closer. "Get your mouth onto this cock Lisa, make me wet again." I suckled her toy while her hands played with my tits. I could enjoy my ass juice since she had shown me how to deal with my bottom weeks ago. She asked, "Can you open your ass for me Lisa?" I reached about to hold my left cheek and the thong panel, which was nearest the camera. I felt her finger slip inside. "You are wide open, almost gaping Lisa, we can fuck, but just slowly okay?" As she said this, a second finger entered my body. " I had closed my eyes but, she said softly, "Now here comes my cock Lisa," and as she shifted she pushed her fake stick past my ring, in deeper than before. I moaned in pleasure as I took in her cock. "God yes, Renee, ohh, that dick, oh my god, I love you, fucking, me!" I had a rush as the phallus was hitting my inner wall. I almost ejaculated, but she now moved to kiss me intimately. I loved feeling her nipples rubbing against mine. I was the sexual woman beneath her, my lover. As Renee moved, her penis plunged in and out of my body. She spoke, "Women have been fucking me like this for years Lisa. Soon you will appreciate my use of the toys to open your bottom. Anais will love your warm tight hole." As she pulled out of my tight body, I felt empty, "Fuck, stuff it into me, now Renee, again, god yes!" and I felt something building inside me. "I want you to ride me Lisa," and she pulled out of my body, "Ride me looking away, right at the camera, so that my cock will hit you just so." I moved, to straddle her hips and she held the thong aside again as I lowered my ass atop her dick, and now I could control the fucking by rising and falling with my thighs. I closed my eyes to relish the slow action of her cock on the walls of my ass. "How does this feel Lisa? The stubby bit inside my pussy, ahh yes Lisa, I'm close, fuck yes," she was moaning as I moved off of her thighs but immediate dropped down to have her phallus deep, "I'm going to, shit Lisa, I'm cumming!!!" I turned back to look at her as I felt my climax near. Her hips now began to roll and I knew I would climax soon. "God, Renee, you are fucking me!!! I hope Anais can see the joy you have brought me!! Oh my god, you are fucking me!!!" I saw her smiling in the mirror as she focused. We were both gasping for air. "I'm no longer, fuck me, I'm not a virgin! Renee, fuck me, oh god yes! Oh god yes, you feel incredible, fucking me Renee!" A moment later I climaxed, and I released for the second time in three days. My tight thong caught most of my semen, but some was on my belly. She remained buried deep within my ass. I panted as I realized the wildness of our act. A woman had fucked me; I would never forget this moment of bliss, of satisfaction. I remained atop her hips with the cock buried within my bottom as I felt the juice of both of us; it slowly dripped down onto her thigh. I was still breathless while my fingers stroked her clitoris. The pleasure of her cock was still with me and I teased and caress her un-hooded clit. I looked at her as I held the stiff clit and a moment later she came again with a sharp scream. "Good god, Lisa, yes, there, hold, oooh, hold, no more, enough!!!" She had fucked me this first time, but I brought her orgasm too. Her cock was still inside me as I rotated and our tongues met. She had an orgasm with her stick still inside me. I relished the small thrusts she made while convulsing. I was now what Renee had helped me become, a transwoman. She had penetrated my body lovingly, and we had climaxed together. I wanted badly to be desired, and I was now certain that I could adjust to Anais's needs. I was this new reality, and hoped to have Anais with me soon. My hope was that Anais wanted me, needed me, and that we might become part of each other's lives. I also knew that I would miss Renee, for she had suggested that her time with me was near an end. "This isn't enough, I know Lisa," she touched the fake penis and pulled it free of my body and her own. "I have spent the past weeks helping you and have seen an emotional, beautiful and aware woman, reveal herself subtly to me. Anais will take care of you now, and will love you as only two can love each other." We lay holding each other afterward. Renee had become close, but she and I knew she was a surrogate, that Anais would take over and I would be Lisa, truly a part of his life. "How do I leave if he does not accept me Renee?" I asked. She kissed me and giggled, "I am certain, he will be good to you. He wanted to be with you months ago Lisa. He initiated this sort of quest, to find you, yes with my assistance, but he is ready for you Lisa. You two will be good, you will see." As we snuggled and my eyes closed, Renee said, "My work is finished and Anais has taken care of me, so I need to say my goodbyes. A taxi will arrive in the morning early." I had only dreamed that my life would actually allow me to become a female, a transgender woman. As I lay in the guest suite after Renee and I had made love I considered fortune's circumstances that had brought me to be here at Anais'. As a young person, I had fantasies of becoming a girl but the details of those paled in contrast to Anais and Renee's involvement in my transition. My facial and body structure were the source of constant derision from others when I was young, even from many of the girls; I was 'too pretty'. I had no reason to hope that someday I might become feminine, or that my thoughts and experiences might be female. My existence, as Lisa tonight, with Renee, far exceeded any imaginings. I had related to lesbian loving for so long that Renee's insistence that I needed to be ready for penetration seemed overstated. She had been a part of my development. I had come far over these months and I was Lisa now. I was Lisa due to her assistance. The next morning I awoke well before six, and walked to the window, naked to watch her leave in the soft morning light. My mind recall how it had occurred, I closed my eyes; she had entered my body and I was enthused; I loved the profound feelings Renee had caused within my body. I felt so stirred by her phallus that in the dark, late last night, I dreamed of Anais. I reached to the nightstand for the replica of his member. Surely my sexual needs had evolved but I would miss Renee's femininity and her arousing kisses. Most of all I had been loved and I wasn't alone. Renee had helped with my bodily changes, but also, she had inspired me to live as a lover, of women and hopefully of a man. The physical reality of my body had influenced my mental view and my spirit. Renee's loving offered a perspective based on a new and different world. As I had moved from my bed to watch her leave I turned seeing the closet door ajar, and saw the lovely black gown. I knew there was much more to understand. Anais would be there to help me now, I felt certain. I was chilled and reached for the silk sleeping gown. I moved again to the window and heard the quick tap of her heels on the stone and then the clunk of the car door. She had not looked back as I had hoped. She was going. As the taxi drove away, I had hoped that he would come to me. I remembered the lesson and suggestions Renee made: 'Take the sex slow at first Lisa. Start with fellatio. You have been well trained but remember to cover your lower teeth. He will be patient; I demanded that he be and he has also been trained. He understands the virginal nature of your sexuality and he will be careful. You will enjoy his warm body lying with you. Try not to fuck like a bunny though, your bottom is fresh and needs more exposure to a hard cock.' The End of Act II To Be Continued.... By MadQuill