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"My client will not accept any less than sixty percent of all marital assets" As Robert looked at his three companions, it struck him how similar divorce lawyers and what were generally called "trophy wives" were. Divorce representation is, of course, an area of law dominated by female lawyers and, if he hadn't known the answer, he would have found it impossible to guess which of the three expensively dressed ladies was his lawyer, which was his soon to be ex-wife's and which was Joanne, the wife who he had shared his life with for the past two decades. Diane Slater, his lawyer, Sue Jackson, Joanne's lawyer and Joanne herself were all immaculately made up, wearing expensive suits, dripping with diamonds and all wearing the almost obligatory stiletto heeled court shoes. It was obvious from the mood in the room that the three clones were ready for a battle and the already dark mood in the room was not helped by the noise of road repairs coming from outside the window. Robert whispered something into Diane's ear. She nodded her agreement and then Robert spoke. "Actually, I was going to offer ninety nine percent." Unfortunately, as his words came out, the staccato thumping of a pneumatic drill started outside and most of what he said was drowned out. However Joanne and her lawyer had heard enough, or so they thought. "That offer is an insult to my client," started Sue calmly. Joanne, however, was far from calm. "You bastard. After 20 years of marriage, you think you can get rid of me with that insult? Whatever possessed you to think that I would ever accept just nine percent?" Robert laughed and this time the drills remained silent for long enough for him to repeat his offer clearly. "I said NINETY nine percent, not nine. You get to keep practically everything." Joanne and her lawyer looked stunned. Never in her 25 years of practice had the lawyer ever come across anyone prepared to walk away from a fortune of over ?100 million without any attempt to negotiate. "That's obviously a very generous offer," Sue said, "but I've come to realise that if something sounds too good to be true, it usually is so what's the catch?" "There is no catch. It's an unconditional offer and all I ask is that Joanne exercises discretion in the future. Our story will obviously make sensational news for tabloid readers but I hope that what I'm giving her will be enough for her not to have to sell our story." Sue and Joanne whispered to each other. "We agree. Joanne will be happy to sign a non-disclosure agreement if you wish." "That won't be necessary. As I said, the offer is unconditional and I trust Joanne enough to rely on her conscience." Diane then spoke. "That's all fine then. I'll get all of the paperwork prepared and, if we could meet again in a couple of weeks, we can finalise everything." Two weeks later, the four of them were back together for Robert and Joanne to sign all of the necessary divorce papers, property transfers and bank mandates effectively moving everything into Joanne's name. And, as the last document was signed, Robert knew that all he had to his name was his two bedroomed apartment overlooking the river and a bank account containing ?0.5M. Everything else was now Joanne's. As the four of them gathered their papers together, Sue spoke again. "This is a personal question so you don't have to answer it but why? We all know that after a lot of negotiation, Joanne would have settled for 50% so why give her practically everything? I've never experienced anything like this in all my years practising as a divorce lawyer and will almost certainly never see anything like it ever again." Robert thought for a moment. "Firstly, none of this is her fault. She's always been there for me and she's given me two wonderful children who are a credit to her. All of her hopes about growing old with me are now out of the window and, inevitably, she'll see some of her friends drift away. What I'm giving her will, at least, ensure that she can continue to live in the manner she's become accustomed without any financial worries. But, there's also what I want. I want a completely fresh start, to once more experience what it feels like to start from next to nothing, to be in the position that I have to generate cash to survive. My 1% share will give me a roof over my head, pay for my treatment, give me a small amount of seed capital for my business and give me a short term financial buffer until I can support myself." The three ladies in the room understood exactly what Robert meant by his "treatment." His plans for the future had been the underlying reason for the divorce and both parties had made full disclosure to their lawyers. As the meeting drew to a close, Robert said goodbye but Joanne just kept her head down, refusing to look at him part seething with anger at what she still felt was an incredibly selfish act on his part and part distraught that the man she loved was about to be out of her life for good. Seeing that any further attempt to speak to Joanne was futile, Robert left the room with the two lawyers who escorted him back to reception. As they said their goodbyes, Sue smiled and immediately, her face took on a different persona - one of a friend saying farewell rather than the stern adversary she had been up to that point. "I really do wish you well. What you're doing is incredibly brave and it can't have been easy for you to make that decision. In fact I'll go as far as to say that your twice the man as most of the husbands I see during the course of my work, not that I'll be suggesting to any other clients that they take inspiration from you, of course." As the three of them laughed, the two lawyers each gave Robert a hug. He then collected his suitcase from the receptionist and made his way to the taxi waiting outside. "Airport please." ------ As the taxi progressed on the 20 mile journey out to the airport, Robert reflected on the life he was about to leave behind. Now in his early 40s he appeared to have everything; beautiful wife and children, large house in the country, expensive cars, the list just went on. It was almost as if he was a magnet for success as he just seemed to be able to sniff out the good deals. Joanne had worked in one of his shops; in fact she'd been there for three months before he even noticed her but she had been a woman on a mission ever since she'd joined the company - she was going to do whatever it took to snare Robert as her husband. It was the annual company party when she made her move. After a morning shopping for an outfit and an afternoon spent at the hairdressers and beauty salon, the stunning Joanne that walked into the party was unrecognisable from the plain shop assistant she normally was. It did the trick and Robert was hooked. Two years later they were walking down the aisle together and, after a further two years, their family had been completed with a son and daughter. Robert had a strong work ethic and it was the explosion in mobile phones that had made him his fortune, firstly with a chain of shops and then, after smartphones became widespread, app development. He'd finally sold the business a few months earlier for ?110M giving the family financial security beyond their wildest dreams. However, Robert had struggled all through his life with a feeling of unease, a sense that something was wrong. Throughout his childhood, he'd not been able to put his finger on what it was but finally, on a visit to Bangkok to talk to a new supplier, things had started to fall into place. Finding himself at a loose end one evening, he decided to take a walk through the red light district. Every step he took seemed to be punctuated by someone calling out "hey, you want to fuck beautiful girl?" or similar but he was only there to look, not to experience what was on offer. However, as he turned a corner, his life was about to change. As he walked past yet another bar, a tall beautiful Thai girl wearing a mini dress and high heeled shoes caught his eye. She smiled at him and he smiled back. Every fibre in his body was telling him to keep walking but, as he did so, he glanced back at the girl who was still smiling at him. He walked past the bar but, again, glanced over his shoulder and this time she blew him a kiss and beckoned to him to come over. He knew he should just continue walking but it was no good. He turned back and walked over to her. Without saying a word, she took him by the hand and led him into the bar. As he looked around, he saw several couples sitting at tables - western guys of various ages with young Thai girls. On the stage at one end of the room were several more girls dancing. His companion handed him the drinks list. The prices seemed quite high but, with the business already successful, he knew that paying was not going to be a problem. After ordering the drinks, he turned to his companion and smiled. She smiled back and, in broken English, asked, "So you been with ladyboy before?" The music was quite loud and Robert struggled to hear what she'd asked. She repeated her question. "Ladyboys. You like? You been with one before?" "Er, no," replied Robert, still not quite realising the significance of the question before adding "are there many here?" His companion laughed. "We all ladyboys here. I show you good time, come on. Only 100 dollars." Robert was stunned. He was sitting by one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen and she'd basically just told him she was a guy. He knew he should leave but, as she stood up and took him by the hand, he felt powerless to resist and just followed her like an obedient puppy. The room above the bar was fairly clean and pleasant enough and, as his companion started to undress, he couldn't help admiring her breasts, obviously surgically enhanced but perfectly shaped all the same. As she removed her panties, Robert looked in wonder. There was now no doubt at all, his companion definitely was a ladyboy and still in transition. She came over to Robert and, putting her arms around him, kissed him passionately, her tongue exploring every corner of his mouth. It was at that point that he came to his senses. The image of Joanne flashed through his mind and he gently pushed his companion away, apologising and asking her to put her clothes back on as he did so. "You still pay," she demanded angrily as she slipped her feet back into her shoes "Of course," Robert assured her, "but please sit down for a few minutes." She duly obliged and Robert took in the sight before him. A stunningly beautiful young woman who was actually a guy. How was that possible? Of course, he knew that transsexuals existed but what he was looking at went way beyond a guy with long hair in a dress - her breasts were testament to that - and he was fascinated to learn more. He smiled at his companion but now she looked impatient. He thought for a moment and then removed cash from his wallet and handed it to her. She counted out the five banknotes - it wasn't the $100 she was expecting but $500 - and then smiled again. "So what you want?" she asked. "Not fucky fucky?" "No, definitely not fucky fucky," Robert replied, "my wife definitely wouldn't approve. What I want is for you to tell me everything about yourself. Who you are, how you came to be here and how you came to be one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, after my wife of course." "My name is Malee," she started, "I come here when I'm 16 from small village to earn money for my family. When I was small, I always like playing with girls and when I got here I got job in ladyboy bar. One day, one ladyboy ill and boss asked me to dress up. He like me so I got to dress up all the time as I make good money for him with western men. I save enough for my face and breast this year and I now save up for big operation." The conversation wasn't easy due to Malee's poor command of English but slowly, Robert managed to tease more information out of her and, as she talked, two things struck him. Firstly, she no longer had the demeanour of a sex worker; she now looked like any other 19 year old struggling to make her way in the world and with hopes and dreams for the future, in particular to get a proper job away from the sex industry. The second thing was far more profound; as she described her feelings as a child before leaving the village, Robert was stunned by the similarities between the feelings she described and those which he had had at a similar age. Could he dare to think that the unease he felt in life was caused by living in the wrong body and, if he took the same surgical path as Malee, would that give him the fulfilment he needed? By now, it was getting late and he thanked Malee for being so open with him. She smiled the same smile that had been such a draw to him when he had walked by the bar earlier in the evening and hugged and kissed him goodbye. This time though, it was a tender kiss of appreciation on the cheek. Robert thought for a moment. "Malee, I'd like you to meet me at my hotel tomorrow. Please come at 7:00pm. Here's the address." As he stepped out back onto the bustling street and made his way back to the hotel, Robert wondered whether she'd come as agreed or whether the lure of easy money giving pleasure to another western man or two would be too great. He needn't have worried. At 7:00pm as he waited in the hotel lobby, Malee arrived. She looked as lovely as she had done the night before but was more conservatively dressed. Robert led her into the hotel's restaurant where they sat down and ordered a meal. Robert spoke, "When you told me about your childhood, it almost sounded like mine. The feelings you had that something was wrong, how you liked playing with the girls, how you'd sometimes pray that you'd wake up a girl. These were all things I felt too but I just thought that these were things that everyone felt sometimes. I never thought it would be possible to change into a beautiful woman until I met you yesterday. I haven't stopped thinking about it since and I know now that it's what I have to do." Malee smiled. "You want me to show you hospital where they do operation?" That would be very nice of you but it's not that easy. I have a wife. I have two beautiful children and I have a business. I can't give those up." "One day, maybe?" asked Malee. "Maybe," replied Robert who continued, "now I need to ask you something. How much do you need to finish your sex change?" "It cost $4000. I save $1000 so I need $3000 more." Robert reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an envelope. "This is nothing to me but everything to you," he said passing it to her. She opened it and pulled out a bundle of banknotes. "There's $5000 there so you can have your operation and have a bit extra to support yourself while you find a proper job." Malee started to cry. "Oh Robert, thank you. You come and see me when I have operation and we celebrate?" Robert looked serious as he reached over to squeeze Malee's hand. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't tell my wife about any of this so to keep in touch with you would be like cheating on her and I can't do that. You are a beautiful person and I'm sure that, once you've had your surgery, you'll have a wonderful life but, much though I'd like to, I can't share it with you. I will promise you one thing, though. I'll never forget you." As they stood in the hotel lobby, tears were streaming down Malee's face. She pleaded with Robert to keep in touch but he was firm. Her taxi arrived and they hugged each other for one last time. As she said goodbye, Malee gave Robert one last lingering kiss on his lips. It wasn't a passionate kiss but a kiss of love, a deep love made all the more painful by the finality of their parting. As they parted, Malee put a piece of paper into Robert's jacket pocket and, as Robert waved goodbye, and the taxi drove off, she glanced at him for one final time, her tears glistening as the streetlights caught them. ------ As the taxi continued its journey, tears welled up in Robert's eyes as he remembered Malee. In the 15 years since he'd last seen her, he'd often wondered what she was doing and the thought that, with his money, she would now be who she'd wanted to be gave him some comfort as he battled with his own struggles but, in the end, the voices in his head had gradually got louder and more urgent. Finally, around six months earlier, the dam had burst. Ironically, it was a programme on "National Geographic" channel nine months or so earlier that had been the final straw. It was a long documentary on attitudes to gender transition around the world and as Robert entered the lounge, he saw that Joanne was watching it. The programme had started looking at an Indian hijra community, before moving on to attitudes in Iran where homosexuality is illegal but gender change is tolerated. It was only when the programme moved to the Thai katoey that Robert felt his pulse quicken with memories of Malee returning stronger than ever. He felt tears welling up in his eyes and, when Joanne wasn't looking, quickly wiped them away. Finally, the Thai section ended with a commercial break but, when the programme returned, the programme featured a western family, the parents in their early 40s with two teenage children, where the father had announced his intention to transition to female. The programme makers had followed the family over a couple of years as the father underwent surgery and hormone treatment and a woman slowly emerged. The parallels with Robert's life were obvious and, as the programme drew to a close, the now fully transitioned father was shown at work, interacting easily with other women and smartly dressed in a business suit and heels. "How can anyone put themselves through that?" said Joanne as the credits rolled. Robert remained silent, fighting back the tears. She looked over at Robert. "Robert? What's the matter?" Robert could control himself no more and broke down. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he blurted through the tears. Slowly Joanne understood. "Are you're saying you want to be a woman? You want to be like the man on the film?" For the first time in his life, Robert felt able to be truly honest with Joanne. "Yes." "My god, I had no idea. I think you've got some explaining to do." They talked long into the night. Robert told Joanne everything; his feelings as a child, his meetings with Malee and his struggles since. Joanne listened and questioning, her mood flitting between anger at the deceit, puzzlement at how her seemingly masculine husband wanted to be female, upset at the probable loss of the husband she adored and fear for what the future held. In the end, she summed up her feelings. "I don't understand this and probably never will. If you want to go through this, then nothing I can say will stop you but it's incompatible with our marriage and the sooner you move out to enable the children and I to rebuild our lives the better." As Robert lay on his own in their bed that night, he knew that he should have felt sadness. Joanne had moved into the spare room and had made it quite clear that she would never share a bed with him again. However, Robert felt relief and excitement; his secret was finally out and he could now plan for his future life as a female. By morning, he had formed a simple plan in his mind. Find a nice flat to live in as soon as possible and then sell the business. He knew that latter would be easy as he'd already turned down a number of offers for it and contacting the bidders would almost certainly enable him to achieve a good price if two or more were competing for it. He was right. Within a month, he'd accepted a cash offer of ?110M for the business and had moved into a lovely flat with river views. Of course, he missed the family, not least as the news of his impending change had not gone down well with his children who, despite invitations to see their father's new home, had not been near it or spoken to him since. However, he was now able to properly plan his transition. He took his wallet from his pocket and removed a small, tatty piece of paper which read "Pang Nong Cosmetic Hospital," followed by an address and phone number. It was the piece of paper that Malee had given him 15 years earlier when they'd parted company and, as he looked at her writing, he wondered how her life had panned out. ------ Low flying planes over the taxi confirmed that they were now approaching the airport. Robert removed his passport and ticket from his jacket pocket. It was the second time he'd flown to Bangkok that year; the last time was to look at the hospital but now, there was no going back. His surgery was booked for two days," time and, having seen the hospital and surgeon on his last visit, he knew he was going to be in good hands. ------ "Are you absolutely sure about this?" the surgeon asked in accented but otherwise perfect English. "Positive," replied Robert. "So let me check I have understood you correctly. You want to undergo full gender reassignment including facial and voice feminisation, breast augmentation and genital reconstruction in one go but you have never dressed in female clothing and intend to present as male right up until the operation." "That is correct," confirmed Robert. "But how will you know that this is right for you?" pressed the surgeon. "What if you wake up and it's all been a huge mistake?" "I've never been more certain of anything in my life," replied Robert, "I'll sign any disclaimers you want me to and I'm going into this with my eyes open. I know it's going to be difficult for me but I also know that, in the long term, it will give me everything I've ever wanted from life and a lot more too. This is what I want and I've heard you're one of the best. Doctor, will you help me?" The surgeon thought for a moment. "OK. I'll operate but I need you to start taking female hormones immediately and for at least three months before I go anywhere near you. Firstly, it will give us an early warning if womanhood is not right for you and secondly, they'll make your body start to redistribute your fat into the traditionally feminine areas which will help guide us in the surgery. Secondly, you need to permanently deal with the body hair around your scrotum as we'll be using some of the skin to form your vagina. We can book your surgery for six months," time but if you find that the hormones make you feel worse about your gender, then what you're asking for is completely wrong and you mustn't go ahead. Is that clear?" Robert nodded his acceptance and an appointment was made for his surgeries to take place six or so months later. ------ As he wheeled his suitcase to check in, Robert chuckled to himself. Looking at him, it would be difficult, if not impossible to guess what he was about to undergo. Of course, he'd let his hair grow and it was now shoulder length but tied neatly back in a low ponytail as many other men did. The hormones had given his cheekbones more definition but, again, with men coming in all shapes and sizes, there was nothing out of the ordinary. In this day and age, even the piercings in each ear lobe would not raise an eyebrow. However, he felt different. He now had far more sensation in his nipples as the hormones had kick started female puberty in him and there was now definite evidence of breast development, not that anyone would be able to tell through his thick winter sweater. He'd also noticed that he'd become far more emotional, crying more often during the sad parts of films and in the romantic novels he'd started reading. The real giveaway was in his suitcase which was packed full of female clothing, toiletries and makeup. Anyone searching his case would have a shock when they opened it and, whilst his ticket to Bangkok may give them a clue, he was sure he'd have rather a lot of explaining to do. Check in was quick and without incident and, after passing through security, he was soon relaxing in the first class lounge to await boarding. ------ As he had opened his wardrobe to start packing the day before, Robert smiled to himself. His few remaining male clothes were squashed at one end of the hanging rail, ousted by a row of dresses, suits, blouses and skirts all hanging neatly ready for when the time came. At the bottom of the wardrobe were about 20 pairs of sandals, shoes and boots in a range of styles, colours and heel heights. He ran his hand along the line of clothes, as he had done on most days since he'd started buying the items, and felt a tingle of excitement. The fabric felt so soft and smooth and he tried to imagine what life would be like when he was able to wear the items as his everyday wardrobe. He opened his chest of drawers which now packed full of lingerie items again with just a few pairs of socks and pants pushed to one end. He removed all of the male clothes from the wardrobe and drawer and put them on the bed. He placed a clean shirt, trousers, pants and socks on the bedroom chair and put the rest into a black plastic bin bag which he sealed shut with a cable tie. He then removed a few loose fitting sun dresses which he folded neatly and put in to his case followed by a number of bras and pairs of panties, some nightdresses and a few pairs of shoes; mostly flats but one pair of mid height heels, just in case he needed to look elegant. What was surprising was that none of the clothes had ever been properly worn. Everything had been bought online and, each time a package arrived, he would try one item on at a time to check the size and then fold and put the item away before trying the next one. Most men in Robert's position would have practically lived in the items after buying them but, to Robert, that was almost fraudulent. These were women's clothes and he only wanted to wear them when he was properly female. He was also worried that he'd be disappointed with his appearance, at worst looking like a man in a dress. It was also for this reason that he'd never been for a male to female makeover; the time to look like a woman was when he was a woman and not a moment sooner. There was one exception to his rule, though. Whenever he was at home, he'd put on his favourite pair of Louboutins, not because he wanted to see what he looked like in them but because he knew he'd need to practise walking in the four inch heels. Initially, it had been difficult but gradually, his ankle joint had yielded to the additional strain and he was now able to walk as confidently around the house as he could in any other shoe. As he spotted them at the bottom of the wardrobe, he picked them up and gently stroked the stiletto heel. He removed a dark skirt suit from the hanging rail and held the shoe against them. His mind wandered back to his meeting at the solicitors when his wife and the two lawyers were all dressed in similar outfits and how envious of them he'd felt. "Not long now," he thought to himself as he replaced the items in the wardrobe and closed the doors. ------ Robert had settled into his first class seat and, as the flight attendants," safety briefing concluded, the plane was taxying to the runway. The jet engines screamed into life and, as the plane accelerated down the runway and became airborne, Robert looked out of the window at his homeland for one last time. Robert John Richardson would never again take a step on that land; it would be Sarah Jane Richardson, the name his late mother frequently told him he would have been called if he'd been a girl, who would return. Did his mother have some sort of sixth sense about how things would turn out? If she did, she would certainly have been happy now that her prophesy was coming true. Robert was glad that he'd booked a first class seat. The journey out was an overnight flight so he should be able to get some sleep and the extra room would certainly be beneficial on the return flight one month later. The flight itself was uneventful and arrived on time. However, as he walked through the security area after collecting his suitcase, his thoughts about what would happen if his suitcase was searched came back to haunt him. The security guard meticulously went through all of his clothes and finding no male items asked, "Where are your clothes?" Robert removed the hospital letter he was carrying in his pocket and showed it to the guard who smiled as he repacked everything and wished Robert luck. After a 30 minute taxi ride, Robert arrived at the hospital and, after completing a few forms, was led to his bedroom by a nurse who showed him where all of the amenities were on the way. After she left, Robert unpacked his suitcase and put everything away. This was to be his home for the next two weeks, after which he had booked into the hotel he'd stayed at 15 years earlier for another two weeks of gentle convalescence. Soon, the surgeon arrived and sat down with Robert to explain all of the procedures they were going to perform the following day. The surgeon didn't hold back with his descriptions either and after 10 minutes talking about cutting and shaving bone, incisions, narrowing of the vocal cords, removal of his testes and inversion of the penile skin, Robert was starting to feel rather queasy. Sleep that night was fitful with a mix of anxiety about the surgical procedures he was about to undergo and excitement about their end result. In fact, as the nurse woke him at 7:00am, if felt like he'd only fallen asleep a few minutes earlier. The nurse told Robert that he'd need to have a shower which he readily agreed to. However, he was a little surprised when he realised that she would have to come in with him to ensure that he was completely clean before being taken to the theatre. He needn't have worried though; whereas on his first visit to Thailand 15 years earlier, the thought of a pretty Thai nurse assisting him in the shower would have definitely led to an embarrassing reaction, now as he caught his reflection in the mirror, he saw that his genitals just hung down limply, shrunken and rendered useless by the high doses of female hormones he'd been taking and looking irrelevant against his small but developing breasts, long hair and more feminine looking face. Anyway, in 24 hours, they'd be gone for good. Having dried himself off, he was handed a surgical gown which he put on and returned to his bed. At 8:00 after visits from the anaesthetist and surgeon, a hospital porter arrived and Robert climbed onto the trolley to be wheeled to the operating theatre. The anaesthetist was waiting for him and after verifying that he still wanted to go through with the procedure and asking Robert to sign the consent form, he placed a mask over Robert's mouth and nose and asked him to count down from 10 to 1. "Ten, nine, eight, ....... seven..............si." ------ "Good morning, Sarah. I'm pleased to say that your operations were a complete success with no complications. You now just need to take things easy and don't try to talk in anything other than a whisper. The nurses will look after you and if you need anything at all, just use the bell to call them. I'll be round to check on you regularly too." While the surgeon was speaking, there was a brief moment when everything felt normal, as if nothing had happened. And who was this Sarah that he was speaking to? Then the sensations started, heavy weights on the chest, a tightly bandaged head with what felt like a mask covering the face, a feeling like pins were moving down the throat when swallowing and sharp and severe pain in the genital region. Robert gingerly pulled himself up to try to see how he looked and, as soon as he saw the two bandaged mounds on his chest and the tubes emerging from his heavily bandaged genital region it was quite obvious that he was now a she and all vestiges of Robert had been well and truly erased. "No, no, no Sarah, you have to lie down today and take it easy," the nurse said as she walked through the door to see Sarah trying to sit up and admire herself. "I'm sorry, nurse, it's just so exciting," she whispered. "I know it is," laughed the nurse, "but you've got the rest of your life to enjoy your new body. We just need to help it heal up now." After the nurse had given her painkillers and a sedative, she lay back down and spent most of the rest of the day sleeping. On the second day, she was allowed to sit up and, as she cupped her hands around her new breasts, she knew then that she would never have any regrets about what she had done. Over the next couple of weeks, the bandages and other protective items were gradually removed and, as she came to terms with her new identity, Sarah's feelings of elation just kept intensifying. "It's time you started wearing a bra," laughed the nurse as she removed the last of the stitches from the incision site of her breast augmentations. She helped Sarah do up the rear clips and, as Sarah looked down to see her new breasts forming a perfect cleavage in the lace trimmed bra, she cried with joy. A few days later, the last of the bandages were removed by her face. There was still a lot of bruising but, as the nurse handed Sarah a mirror, she could see that she now had a pretty upturned nose, wider eyes and her lips had taken on a much more feminine appearance above a narrower jawline. She was also now allowed to wear her own clothes instead of the hospital gowns and, as she looked at her reflection in the full height mirror on the back of the bathroom door wearing put on one of the loose fitting summer dresses she'd brought with her, she really felt that her passage to womanhood was nearing completion. However, nothing had prepared Sarah for the pain as the surgical packing was removed from her new vaginal passage. She gripped the bed rails with both hands and let out a scream as the surgeon withdrew it but the discomfort was quickly forgotten as he handed her a mirror and she saw her new vagina for the first time. Through more tears, she whispered to the surgeon "thank you, it's beautiful," and spent most of the rest of the day admiring it in the hand mirror. Two weeks after the operations, it was discharge day. The surgeon came into the room for the final time to check that all was well. "OK, let's check your new voice. Can you recite a nursery rhyme?" "Mary had a little lamb," Sarah started but quickly stopped, shocked at what she heard. Her voice was quite a bit higher than Robert's had been and now, while still quite husky, was now definitely in the female range. "Keep going," encouraged the surgeon. "Its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go." "Good girl, that all sounds fine. Try to avoid coughing or clearing your throat and drink plenty of water. Your voice will settle down in a week or so and you'll need to come and see me again for a final review in two weeks before you fly home but, for now, I think it's time for you to go and enjoy our country. Just take it easy, remember your dilation and if anything doesn't feel right, call us straight away." "Thank you for everything, I can't thank you enough," said Sarah, giggling as she heard her new voice once more. As she wheeled her suitcase into the Hospital reception area for the last time, she went to each member of staff in turn to hug them. The hospital was well used to these little ceremonies as their patients left to start their new lives and presented Sarah with a small bouquet of flowers together with an envelope containing various papers explaining the procedures she'd undergone. Placing her palms together, Sarah did a final bow to all of the staff who returned the gesture and made her way to the waiting taxi for the short drive to the hotel where she would stay for the next two weeks. As the taxi, drove off, she shed a tear or two. She was going to miss being there but, as she looked down at her new breasts she knew that they now defined her and she couldn't wait for the rest of her life. ------ "My name is Sarah Richardson, I have a reservation." Her new name and new voice still surprised Sarah every time she heard them but this was a momentous moment for her. The hospital had arranged and paid for her taxi but now, as she faced the receptionist, she was on her own and in control of her own life. As the receptionist entered her details into the hotel computer, Sarah looked around. Little had changed in the hotel in the 15 years since she'd last been there and, as she looked over to the restaurant, her thoughts went back to Malee. Had she had her operation and found a proper job? Or had she frittered away the money and returned to the life of a sex worker in the bars? Sarah hoped it was the former but knew she'd probably never know. The receptionist had, by now, finished and handing Sarah her key card, called for a porter to take her to her room. Handing the porter a tip, she closed the door and looked out of the window across Bangkok. Little seemed to have changed although, if anything, it was even more crowded than she remembered. After unpacking her things, she decided to take a short walk around the local area. As she walked back through the lobby, the receptionist called her over. "Miss Richardson, will you be requiring dinner in the restaurant tonight?" "That sounds lovely, yes please," replied Sarah smiling at yet another reminder that she was now female. As she got ready for dinner, Sarah looked in the mirror. Most of the bruising had subsided but there was still a small amount so she decided that she needed makeup to mask it. Never having practised, she phoned down to reception to ask if anyone there would be able to help her and was delighted when she was told that the hotel had a beauty parlour in the basement. Of course, at her last visit, she'd not noticed it for obvious reasons. She finished getting dressed and packed her handbag before making her way to the basement where a young girl greeted her and asked her to sit down in the chair. As the young girl worked, Sarah asked her to explain each step she was taking and tried to take as much of it in as possible. After about 30 minutes, the makeup was finished and, after quickly styling Sarah's hair with a pair of curling tongs, the girl led her to the floor to ceiling mirror at the front of the salon and declared "There! More beautiful than ever." Sarah looked at her reflection in the mirror. Staring back was an attractive woman, giving no hint of her past. Her dress and shoes gave her genuinely feminine look and her hair and makeup were just perfect. No pre transition makeover could ever have made her look this good and Sarah knew she would be able to stride confidently into the restaurant without any worries about being "read." In fact, as she entered the restaurant, she sensed several men starting at her although seeing their wives," reactions out of the corner of her eye left no doubt that their stares were for all the right reasons. Sarah was about half way through her main course when she noticed a woman wearing a hotel uniform walking in her direction out of the corner of her eye. She looked back down and carried on eating and then became aware that the woman had stopped at her table. "Is everything to your satisfaction Miss Richardson?" "Everything is wonderful, thank you," replied Sarah who was still not tiring of being called "Miss." As the woman turned to walk away, Sarah noticed her name badge. Below the Thai script it said "Malee." "Sorry, could I have another word?" asked Sarah. The woman turned back. She took a closer look at the woman who was attractive and looked to be in her mid-thirties. "Was there something else?" she asked, obviously puzzled as to why Sarah was staring at her. "Malee, don't you remember me?" asked Sarah "I don't think we ever meet," replied the woman "I looked very different then," replied Sarah, "and I was called Robert." The woman thought for a moment. She knew exactly who Robert was but how could he now be the woman in front of her? The she remembered their final conversation and broke into a smile. Sarah stood up and the two women hugged each other. "Oh Robert, you look so beautiful." "So do you," cried Sarah through tears of joy before adding, "Oh, and I'm called Sarah now but enough about me, I want to hear all about you and how you ended up here." "I work now," replied Malee, "but we can meet at 9:00 in hotel bar if you want." Sarah agreed immediately noticing how much better Malee's English was than the last time they had met. At 9:00pm, Sarah entered the bar to see Malee already sitting there with a bottle of champagne and two glasses. They hugged again before both sat down to toast each other with the champagne. Sarah spoke first. "So, Malee, tell me everything." "Before I met you, I only went to cheap hotels with Western men. I made good money from them but it was horrible. The hotels were dirty and smelly and so were the men. When I met you, I saw different man. One I'd never seen before. You were kind and generous and nice to me. When I came to meet you here, I wanted to have sex and I wasn't going to charge you but then you told me you were like me so I knew that wasn't going to happen. But I didn't mind because you were nice person to be with." Sarah smiled as Malee continued. "When I saw this hotel, it looked very nice. No smells, no dirt and nice people walking around. I knew then that I had to leave the bar. I couldn't believe it when I saw what was in the envelope you gave me and I booked my operation at the hospital straight away. While I was lying there, I decided to try to get job here. It's hard for ladyboys to get normal jobs even when they are complete women but my sister came for job with me. We both put on pretty dress and shoes and makeup and the manager really like her. He said he give her a job not me but my sister tell him that, if he wanted her, he had to give job to me too so he gave me job as cleaner." "I work twice as hard as everyone else and, after five years, they made me supervisor. When customers fill in little cards when they leave, my rooms always got best scores so I got promoted again and I got English lessons. I'm now restaurant supervisor and each evening when I walk round checking the guests are happy, I remember our meeting and hope one day that you come back. I never imagine that you look as beautiful as this though." Sarah blushed at the compliment. "Well, it's all thanks to you," she replied, "when I met you, you helped me understand all of the feelings I'd been having but, more importantly, showed me that I could become a woman, perhaps even as beautiful as you. It's just a shame it's taken me 15 years to finally do something about it." "15 years? You mean?" "Yes, until just over two weeks ago, I was still living as Robert and this is my first full day in the world in my new life." "I don't believe it! You have to tell me everything," laughed Malee who listened intently as Sarah told the story of her final confession to Joanne, her divorce and how she had lived as Robert right up to the point at which she had her operations. When Sarah finally finished relating her story, Malee laughed. "You know. I thought my story was unbelievable - a man gives me $5000 dollars and change my life but. I've never heard anything like your story - have sex change without trying to live as a woman first. What would you have done if you'd made a mistake?" Sarah thought for a moment. "To be honest, I don't know," she laughed "made the best of it, I suppose but the possibility never entered my head. My only worry was that I wasn't going to look good as a woman." "Well don't worry, you're beautiful," Malee reassured her, "it looks like things are good for both of us." Over the next two weeks, the two women spent time together whenever Malee had time off. Sarah's final review at the hospital confirmed all was well and now the two stood in the airport to say goodbye to each other. This time, though, they exchanged addresses and Sarah made Malee promise to come and visit her. "Just tell me when and I'll send you the ticket," she promised. Finally they could delay their parting no more and hugged each other for the final time. They looked at each other and, just as it had happened 15 years earlier, their lips met for a tender kiss before Sarah walked into the departure area, turning round to blow Malee a final kiss before she disappeared from view. ------ After a long flight and taxi ride back home, Sarah was finally unlocking her front door and walking into her flat. As she did so, it struck her how much had changed in her life since she'd left there two weeks earlier and yet the flat looked exactly as she'd left it. She went to the bathroom and ran herself a bath. It had been showers only in Thailand and she was now looking forward to a nice long soak. As she lay down, the full extent of her change hit home. She thought about all of the times she'd laid in the bath wishing that she had breasts and now her dreams had come true. No longer were her male organs bobbing up and down, they were now gone for good and she felt so much better for it. Everything felt just right. That night she slept well. The journey back had taken its toll and it was 8:30am by the time she woke up. Today was a special day and, after a light breakfast she returned to her bedroom to get ready. While in Thailand, the hot weather had meant that she only needed to wear loose fitting summer clothes but now she would need to dress properly. Opening her drawer, she removed a matching set of white silk and lace panties, bra and garter belt and, as she put each item on, she realised what a sensual experience putting on female clothes was; the softness of the cloth as it slid against her silky smooth skin, the sight of her breasts held and perfectly framed by the delicate lace edging of the bra, the flatness of her genital area under the delicate panties. She then opened a new packet of stockings and, rolling each up her leg in turn, felt a shiver of delight at the smoothness of the nylon against her skin. She walked over to the wardrobe and opened the doors knowing exactly what she would be wearing. She removed the dark suit and a plain white blouse. She put the blouse on first, slightly fumbling with the reversed buttons, the task made all the more difficult by her longer manicured nails. Men's shirts had always just felt functional but now the blouse gave an altogether different feel as the cloth strained against her breasts. She loved it. She then stepped into the skirt, and as she pulled it up, couldn't help noticing how the lining glided effortlessly against the nylon of her stockings, so much easier than pulling on a pair of trousers and as she buttoned up the jacket, she noticed how the tailoring further enhanced her feminine shape. It was now time for the shoes. As a man, Sarah had always felt that, more than anything, a pair of high heeled shoes really defined a woman. She reached down and removed the Louboutins from the wardrobe and placed them in front of her. As her nylon clad foot slid easily into the first one she straightened her leg and was immediately four inches taller. She slid her other foot into the second shoe and walked over to her dressing table and sat down. Thanks to several visits to the hotel beauty salon while she was in Bangkok, Sarah now felt confident putting on basic makeup and, after adding a layer of foundation and powder, applied a light eyeshadow, mascara and eyeliner, blusher and light red lipstick. When she had finished, she checked her appearance in the mirror and smiled. Today she had an important meeting at the solicitors to attend and she wanted to look professional. As she put on her long coat and stepped outside for the first time, the sensations overwhelmed her. She'd worn dresses while in Thailand but now, although the streets were familiar, the sensations were anything but. The gentle tug of drop earrings on her earlobes, the fur collar of her coat gently stroking her neck and the gentle rhythmical bounce of her breasts as she walked. But that was only the beginning. As she continued her short walk to the solicitors, she felt the cool breeze through her stockinged legs which made a barely audible "swish," as they brushed against each other, her pencil skirt gently tugging at them with each step as if to make its presence felt. But it was her impact on others that struck her most. Heads turned as the characteristic "click click" of her stiletto heels on the pavement announced her approach and men smiled, as Sarah had done in her old life when seeing an attractive woman in the street. Sarah smiled back, not just to be polite to her admirers but also in gratitude for their subliminal validation of who she now was. As she approached the entrance of the solicitors' office, a man, obviously in a hurry on his mobile phone stopped in his tracks, held the door open and smiled as she walked through. As she walked to the reception desk, she heard him scurry off into the distance, his routine back on track once more. Sarah smiled to herself as she wondered whether he would have been so prepared to interrupt his busy day if their paths had crossed a month earlier. Still smiling, she walked up to the receptionist. "My name is Sarah Richardson. I'm here to see Diane Slater." "Please take a seat Miss Richardson, Diane will be with you shortly." About five minutes later, Diane came to meet Sarah, smiling broadly. "Well, you look a little different to the last time I saw you," she exclaimed, "come into my office. I hope you don't mind but I invited a friend over as well." Sarah entered Diane and saw Sue Jackson, her ex-wife's solicitor sitting there. She got up and smiling broadly went over to Sarah and hugged her. "You look sensational. Just amazing," Sue gushed. The three women sat down and Diane spoke. "You're here to fill in all of the paperwork to change your name and gender. To be honest, this isn't an area I'm familiar with which is why I asked Sue over. We don't normally work with competitor firms but she kept asking me if I'd heard from you at all so I hope you don't mind?" Sarah confirmed that she was happy with the arrangement and Sue then proceeded to talk Sarah through the various forms which she signed one by one. When everything was complete, Diane spoke "If you two ladies have nothing planned, perhaps I could treat you both to lunch?" Sue and Sarah both accepted and the three ladies were soon sitting in the restaurant with Diane and Sue listening in disbelief as Sarah told her story. "Well I still don't know how someone who, until last month, was living as a man can look better than either of us," declared Sue to Diane when Sarah had finished. "I know," agreed Diane, "it's just not fair is it?" Sarah laughed. Maybe the two ladies had exaggerated a little bit but, as she remembered how envious of their outfits she had been when they last met, she now just felt like one of them and their comments validated her status as a woman. And, in the end, that was all she'd ever wished for. ----- It was 6:00pm before Sarah finally arrived back at her flat, the chance to buy clothes in person rather than over the internet too irresistible to avoid. As she kicked off her Louboutins, she now understood why women tried to avoid wearing high heels but, as she looked at them lying on the ground, she knew that her aching feet were a small price to pay for earning the right to wear them. As she massaged her feet back to life, she heard a knock at the front door. She first thought to ignore it, hoping that the caller would go away but then heard a second knock, louder than the first so she got up and went to answer it. As she opened the door, the boy and girl apologised that they seemed to have the wrong flat and turned to walk away. "Joe. Lucy. It's me." The boy and girl turned back. "Dad?" Sarah invited her children in and, after making them coffee, the three of them sat down together in the lounge. Lucy spoke first. "You look amazing. Not at all like I expected." Sarah smiled. "So what were you expecting? Your dad in a dress with hairy legs and a stubbly chin?" "Something like that," laughed Joe "I certainly never expected you to look hotter than Pete's mum. There again, most women look hotter than Pete's mum." "Somewhere in there, I think there may have been a compliment but you really need to be more respectful. I'm sure Pete is very fond of his mother, regardless of what you think she looks like." "I guess so," laughed Joe, "anyway how are you? Are you missing it? I know I would if mine fell off." "Joe, you're incorrigible but to answer your question, no I'm not missing it as I have something far better now. Anyway, the sausage and beans I had for dinner that night tasted particularly good." "Ewww," said Joe, relieved that his father's sense of humour was intact but now feeling a little uneasy as a graphic view of the surgery his father had undergone flashed through his mind. "Anyway, enough about me," said Sarah hoping to bring the conversation back to a more mature footing. "How is your mother?" "She's OK," replied Lucy. "She was really angry and depressed for several months after you left. We were pretty angry too and that's why we didn't answer your texts and emails. Then she met a guy at church; he's nice and they seem pretty happy with each other." Sarah became quiet for a moment. She always knew that Joanne would find someone else but it was still a bit of a shock to hear it. Lucy continued. "In the end, the three of us just sat down and talked about how we felt about this whole business. We wallowed in our own misery for about half an hour before Joe asked if any of us really cared about how you were. That's when we started to talk about you and mum told us how you told her that you'd struggled for 15 years trying to be who you thought we wanted you to be before finally being honest with yourself. Mum's not ready to see you yet but I know she misses you. I think she's just scared that she'll still see the old you and not be able to cope with it but you just need to give it time and she'll come round, I'm sure." "I hope so," said Sarah, "I know that we've both moved on in different ways but she was my best friend for 20 years and it would be really nice to have her back in my life again." Joe excused himself to go to the toilet and, once he'd left the room, Lucy turned to Sarah. "But how are you? Is everything OK?" "I'm fine," Sarah answered "there's still a bit of discomfort down below and some numbness on my face but everything's healed well." "That's good," Lucy replied, "but it's not really what I meant. How are you emotionally?" Sarah thought for a moment before answering. "The short answer is that I've never felt better. The long answer is that I had a lot of bottled up unhappiness. Some days I could just about cope with it, other days it all but engulfed me and only the intensity of running the business could keep my mind off it. Now, when I wake up, there's a brief moment when I forget who I now am but then something reminds me - the weight of my breasts, a higher pitched yawn or a twinge down below - and the elation overcomes me. I look in the mirror and love who I've become. I know that I'll have to come down to earth soon and there will still be struggles ahead but nothing can be as bad as the struggles I've endured since childhood trying to be someone I'm not." Joe returned to the room. "Er dad. What should we call you now?" he asked. Sarah thought for a moment. "You can call me whatever you want. Sarah, Auntie or even Dad if you want. I may have changed on the outside but I'm still the same person on the inside and I'm still your father. All I ask is that you're discrete when we're with people who don't know my past, maybe call me Sarah then but carry on calling me Dad otherwise if you want. And don't assume that just because I look like this, I've lost interest in motor racing and heavy metal concerts because I haven't so we can still go to those together if you're happy to be seen out with me." "Cool, Dad," replied Joe. "What about shopping?" asked Lucy "you always hated coming with Mum and me but I guess from those Loubies and the carrier bags in the hall that you may have had a change of heart?" Sarah laughed "I only hated it because I wasn't allowed to try the clothes on! Try to stop me now, though! I've got a lot of lost time to make up so I'm ready when you are. Probably not tonight, though as my feet are still recovering from those shoes!" The three of them talked for another couple of hours as Sarah told them more about her trip to Thailand and Joe and Lucy updated her on what had been happening in their lives. Finally, at just before 9:00, Joe and Lucy got up to leave. After Lucy took a couple of photos on her phone, one of Sarah on her own and a selfie of the three of them together, they said their goodbyes and Sarah made her way straight to bed. She wanted plenty of sleep as tomorrow, she planned to start building a business from scratch once more. As she put her suit and shoes back in the wardrobe, she smiled. She was now the female she had been desperate to become and, thanks to the visit to the solicitors, her birth certificate and passport would soon provide irrefutable proof. But best of all, she thought as she put on her silk nightie, she had the acceptance of her children and that was worth more than anything in the world. As she drifted off to sleep, she thought life couldn't get any better, then her phone beeped. She took it off the bedside table and looked at the text on the screen. "Lucy and Joe just showed me your photo. You look amazing. Let's meet for coffee SOON. Joanne x." Life had just got even better.