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Julia held the letter I'd sent her in her hands. Well, it was more like an explanatory note, as I had just given it to her. It was a couple of pages, as I wanted to fully explain what I was thinking and give details about the offer. She'd had it a couple of days, long enough to think about it before we met. I was nervous, as I often got in tense situations. That's one reason I'd written out the note, so I could word it correctly to provide all the right information and express my feelings. I had trouble doing that when I spoke. I got jumbled up, forgot things, or misspoke. I'd never been good at verbalizing thoughts. I wasn't much better when I wrote them out, it just gave me time to read, review, and correct mistakes. The only drawback was it seemed awkward to have to give a note to your wife about such an important and intimate issue. It's not like we were newlyweds or anything. We'd been husband and wife for 20 years. Long enough to have two children, a nice home, and solid careers. Well at least until recently. You'd think I'd be able to just talk this out with her, my wife, even if I couldn't with others. Still I felt this was the best approach. I'd given it to her, told her to read it, think about it, and then we could meet, when she was ready to talk about my offer. She'd finally set up a time, her schedule was quite busy during the day, when we could really talk about it without our daughters here or being interrupted by work. For me, work wasn't an issue any more, unfortunately. I'd been employed at the same firm for 25 years. Until now. Automation had caught up to my line of work and the company had told me I was being let go. Being replaced by an intricate, complicated, but very efficient machine. I tried to argue they needed me to run it, but truthfully I only knew the tasks it would do. The company had already hired someone to do the operation, as it was controlled by software. They had lined up an intern from a local college, a work-study person, who'd only be a fraction of what they paid me. She was nice, young, smart and very comfortable with computers, which I was not. The only redeeming factor was that I had qualified for both a small pension, and a short unemployment benefit. I'd asked about retraining, hoping they'd be able to prepare me for some other job, but my work was just the first of many they were going to migrate to automated robots. Plus my age, 50, worked against me. So, nothing there. The offset was that Julia, my wife, had really blossomed at her job the past five years. She was a realtor, a good one, among the best in our area. She had gotten a well-deserved reputation for giving sellers the most for their properties, but at the same time helping buyers get the best deals. She was especially known for selling business properties, a sort of specialty that gave her a real edge. That's one reason, it was hard to find time during the day to meet to talk about my note. She was just always on the go and working. But she'd made time, as she could see this was important. Probably the most important decision of our married lives other than having kids. So now I sat at our kitchen table, across from her, nervously waiting for her to tell me what she thought about my offer. She finally looked up from my paper, with a slight smile on her face. "Nicely written note, Darby. Conveys a lot of information, with no grammar or syntax errors, no typos, and in a logical, easy to follow narrative. I appreciate you taking the time to fully outline your offer. I know you don't feel comfortable just talking about something so important without having a written proposal on the table. In my line of work, this kind of start almost always leads to a successful transaction. Seeing it in black and white, on paper, or at least electronically, gives both parties plenty of opportunity to examine the issue and see where they might need more information. So, if you don't mind I'd like to ask a few questions to be sure I understand what you want us to do." "Of course, Julia. I know this had to be a shock. So I expected you to need more. I just wrote this out, so we'd have a place to start. I didn't want it to be impersonal, but it was very important. What did you want to ask?" "Let me start with the most important question. You'd told me about your desires when we dated, and told me you thought you'd be able to control them so to speak. That life with me was more important, since that aspect of you wasn't appealing to me. As far as I can tell, you've done that. Oh, I knew you still did some, on the side, discreetly, of course. So why now, why do you want to cross-dress now? And why so openly?" I had to look down at my hands, folded together on top of the table. I was so nervous, I had to keep them together so they wouldn't shake. I expected this question, and put some of it in the note, but knew Julia would want more explanation. "It's just become a bigger and bigger part of my life as I've gotten older. I had been so focused on work and family when I was younger that it was easy to push aside. To just do it as a lark almost and keep my needs bottled up. My role as a husband and father were all important. But now, my job is gone. Our girls will be in high school after this summer and then gone to college, and they already need less and less from me. With you, well you know we've had our issues lately. Not that I blame you, but we've just not had the intimacy and connectedness we had before. Your work, which I agree is very important especially since I no longer provide much income, has become so time consuming and central to your life. We rarely see each other before 7 each day. And you leave early too. Combined with my age related decline in sexual potency, so to speak, all that has virtually eliminated any sexual activity between us, or even close, physical contact. We used to cuddle and be close most days. Now it's been so long I can't remember the last time. But I still love you and enjoy just sharing life with you. And the girls too. It's just I realize my role for all of you is diminishing. So I figured I could transition into this role, be happy, and still useful." "It sounds like you want to relinquish your role as a husband and a father, so you can dress openly, all the time. I see your reasoning, although it sounds like a huge price to pay. If this is so important, why not just take the leap? Why not start the process of transitioning to being a woman, a real woman? I mean, that isn't so unusual now, really. Why do you just want to dress as a woman and not become one?" "That's a good question and one I've really thought about. I've read online about all of this, gone on forums where it's discussed, and even contacted someone. There is a gender identity specialist that I wrote to and he corresponded with me. He heard my story, my history, my desires, and my dreams. He agreed that I wasn't what he called a full transsexual. My situation was one where keeping it a cross-dressing stage was more appropriate. I guess because I didn't see myself as a woman trapped in a man's body to put it in simple terms. But he stressed that repressing my desires was not healthy for me or my family. I think our decline in intimacy is in large part a result of my repressed desires to dress up as a woman. I just thought it was important enough to bring up, and make you this kind of offer." "But why full time? And so open to not only me, but our daughters too? Couldn't you just do most of this during the day when we are all away and you're in the house alone? Why make it a full time situation?" "I thought of that. In fact the first few weeks after I lost my job, I did that. But it didn't seem right. I felt like I was not only living a lie, but I was constantly worried you or the girls would find out, catch me in the act. Plus, I couldn't do it the way I want. There are so many aspects of being feminine that I couldn't do like that. For example, shaving my legs or other body hair and letting my hair grow so I could style it. Plus, if it is that important to me, I need to be up front about it, honest to those I love. I just couldn't see doing it and still being a husband or father role model. I would need to step away from those and find a new role. If I didn't think you all were strong, capable, and needed me still in my old roles, I would not do this. But you all don't need me that way, you've moved on too." "Darby, I appreciate your honesty, really. I know making this admission and crafting this offer, was difficult. I know we've not been as close and although your desires are partly responsible, so are mine and my inner drive to be successful. I've always been career oriented and now it had become my passion to be the best, the absolute best, at what I do. So I see how that has affected our marriage too. But this would be a big step, a huge change for us and our family. I do understand better why you want it this way, rather than a full transition. So emotionally and intellectually I think I can live with what you're proposing, but I would have to have it structured my way. I never do a deal with someone completely the way they see it. That is one of my strengths, the ability to improve any deal, to take what you think is a bargain and make it a bargain for me was well. I've not written out what I want, but I do have some materials for you. These cards. These business cards. Take a look and ask questions about them, and I'll explain my thought process." Julia laid a small pile of business cards down on the table, and she set aside my written offer. I sensed she was ready to accept it, but like she said, it had to be crafted so we both thought we were getting a bargain. I looked at the cards and saw some were business associates of her, others people I knew she interacted with. The one on top was her lawyer at the realty firm she worked with. I immediately got nervous about this, so I decide to ask about it first. I also knew my wife well enough that if she handed me cards, she had put them in the order she wanted to talk about them. "Julia, you gave me a card for your lawyer, Ansley Adams. You aren't thinking of a divorce are you? What do you want her to do for us?" "Darby, no she's not a divorce lawyer. If I wanted that, then I wouldn't have done a meeting like this. But I do want to include some legal and financial stipulations in any new agreement between us. First, you know when we married I kept my name Giles and you kept yours Stevenson. Our daughters have a shared name. Well if you're stepping away from husband and father roles, then I want to establish myself as the legal head of household. As part of that, you will take my last name and the girls will drop your surname from the end of their names. Plus, I want you to have a feminine first name. Personally, I think Darla would be a good choice. It's close to your name, but definitely a girl's name. I can see it fitting well with your new role. If your identity is going to be female, then even if you don't transition fully, I want it clear that is who you are. I also want to change the financial arrangements. Our current arrangement reflects our previous situation, where we both, more or less, contributed equally to our finances. Now, with your pension, you will be contributing far less money to our household. What I want then is to structure our accounts to reflect this new reality. With the name changes it will make it easy, and understandable to change accounts too. We will cancel all of our old credit cards and close out our old bank accounts. We will start fresh. Our main account will be mine, with credit and debit cards linked to it. I will put my income into it and you'll contribute 75% of yours too. You will setup a separate account, just yours, so you can have money for your needs, like makeup, panties, and such. The primary account, my account will cover our household costs, our daughters' needs, and any and all family associated costs. You won't have withdrawal privileges on this account, but I will give you a debit card to use for household costs, like groceries, that will be part of your new role. But it will be limited and I will be notified instantly by the bank of any and all purchases you make. That way I can be sure you stay within the household budget I prescribe. Finally, I want Ansley to work up a contract specifying what each party is contributing, what is expected, and how any compensation will be handled. If you make this move, I'll want some sort of written agreement showing it was done, willingly by both parties." Julia's description was a surprise, something I hadn't thought of and therefore hadn't expected. But like many of her ideas, I saw where she was coming from. Part of it, I think was to firmly establish how the new order in our family would work. The name change would be a symbolic gesture more than anything, plus an early test of my true commitment to my idea. The finances weren't as significant, because we already made joint decisions on most things, and I didn't really expect to have a lot of extra costs. Plus since her income would be more than 80% of our full household income, I felt I had no grounds to argue on her plan. A contract would only reinforce what we would already have agreed to, so it was, to me, minor as well. "That sounds agreeable. I can see myself accepting that. The next card is for Penny Jones, Professional Cleaning Service. Are you thinking of hiring them to do our house? If so, I'm confused." "As I understand it, your offer is to take over our household chores and duties. As you explained in your note, we currently share them, each household member doing certain tasks. But as you observed, neither I nor the girls like doing them. I have less and less time at home and what time I have I don't want to waste on menial tasks. I also think your prediction that the girls will protest even more about having to do housework, as they become full blown teenagers, enter high school, and start dating, is accurate too. You make a good point that we could afford to hire a cleaning service, but that they would not do all we need, like laundry and cooking. To have you do all of these in your new role seems like a perfect solution. But I want to be sure you know how to do these tasks. So if you want to do them, you will work for Ms. Jones as an intern until she feels you've learned all you need. They do our offices, prepare our houses for selling, and I've talked to several clients who use them in their homes. Her reputation is excellent. I'm sure she and her crews can teach you how to keep our home sparkling. The next card has a similar intent. Sue Ann Methuen is a caterer and chef who's done work for some of our open houses, galas and special events. Her food is marvelous. Plus I've known her for a long time and eaten at her home too. Sue Ann can make both fancy meals and home cooking. She will be more than capable of teaching you to cook good, nutritious food for our family and even more. I envision the next two months, where you share time between working for Penny and Sue Ann to develop all the necessary skills to serve in my home. I think one of your best qualities is that you are a fast learner and I can see this being both easy and interesting for you." Again, Julia was suggesting new ideas. I already did many household chores and some cooking, but I couldn't argue I was an expert in either area. If I was to assume those roles, I could use some help. "Those requirements make sense to me, and I don't have a problem doing that. So this next card, is from Dorothy Miller, Top-notch, seamstress. Her firm makes your suits don't they? How are they too help us?" "Darby you've offered to take over our domestic needs, so you can dress as a woman. How exactly are you going to dress? Do you have an image in mind? Tell me how you see yourself, because that was pretty vague in your note." "Okay, first of all you won't see me in some sexy French maid outfit, trying to work while looking like a hooker. I know that must have crossed your mind. But what I see, is me wearing normal female clothing. I've never gone overboard in how I dressed. So something feminine, but practical. You know a blouse and skirt outfit, maybe some dresses and to clean in functional, but pretty women's pants. Underneath, I want girls things but again not overdone. I'll wear bras, but lightly padded ones, pretty without trying to look too big, because I'm not a real woman. Panties, bikini probably, with pantyhose or more likely opaque tights, heels, but short ones, block style, again aimed at giving a female image but still being suitable to actually do work. I don't think I'd present an embarrassing image in that way. Feminine yes, extreme no." "I see, sort of like a housewife look. I guess I see why you'd want that. But for me, I don't see that for you. First, you aren't the wife, you will be the domestic help. So I want a uniform for sure, certainly not one of this sexy style maids, I agree there. But you will need to be recognizable as our maid. That's why I want you to see Ms. Miller. The clothes she makes for me are the best. They fit me in all the right places, are comfortable, attractive and stylish, not too expensive, and best of all they reflect the image I want to project. I have no doubt she can design and make maid uniforms that are feminine, pretty, functional, and clearly identify you as the help. If you are taking that role for my family, then I want no doubts about it. We'll have a wardrobe of appropriate uniforms for all and any occasions, but that are similar in style and design. Beyond that, I certainly don't see you in the simple lingerie you described. After reading your note, I looked at you. Critically examined your body and how it differs and matches a woman's body. I think for you to be the family domestic, you have to embrace a female image that is clear and completely a woman. With your body shape, you need a large bust, a smaller waist and bigger hips. Otherwise, you look straight up and down, with shoulders wider than hips, more masculine than feminine no matter what your outer clothes are. One reason I selected Dorothy for your wardrobe is that she offers a complete service that includes lingerie, hosiery, and foundations, or the modern terms, shapeware and corsets. I'll count on her advice and guidance so you have the shape and look I want. It may not be as comfortable as you suggested, but to me it is of the utmost importance that you project a fully female image. That includes shoes too. The types of shoe you described, in fact your whole wardrobe was one of an older lady. Objectively, your best female feature are your legs. They look long, shapely and would benefit from both shorter length skirts and higher heels. A pump with a four-inch stiletto is an optimum style for your uniform. As far as being functional, I see women work long days in those kind of heels routinely. You'll adjust too. In some ways, your desire to dress so simply is the most surprising part of this offer. I would have assumed you'd want to look as feminine as possible. If you want me to accept your proposal, then you will have to present yourself so that you look completely like a woman." Hearing Julia describe her vision of my appearance was a shock. I had intentionally toned down how I might dress assuming that would be easier for her and my daughters to accept. A sort of acknowledgement that I wasn't a real woman. So I sort of like how she wanted me to dress, except for the implications of doing it for all day. In my previous dress up episodes I'd certainly worn a fully padded bra, sheer hose, high heels, and even a waist cincher. But after a few hours that attire began to hurt and even be painful. I could see that would be a challenge to actually dress closer to 14 hours a day in that kind of wardrobe. Plus to be clearly stamped as a domestic in a uniform, would be to admit there was more of a change than just appearance. Julia was insisting on a full display of the change in my status in our family. But with my years of marriage to her, I could tell when an item was negotiable or not. This was not. "I see. I have to admit this is a surprise, especially the degree that you want me to go. But if that is a firm must for you, then I will agree." "Good choice. Look at the next business card, Giselle Boucher, salon owner. Giselle has been my personal stylist ever since I made a real commitment to succeeding in business. She can work wonders with hair, skin, nails, and any detail of a woman's personal appearance. That will be something you definitely need. I'm sure you realize that. The good thing, Giselle and her staff can quickly transform your look to just what a proper maid would have. She'll give you a hair style that is feminine but easy to maintain. They will design the right cosmetics for your skin type and color to get that look and teach you how to use them. Her skin and hair cleaning, moisturizers, and other conditioners will promote a proper underpinning for your cosmetics and hair style, so you always look as feminine as possible. Other treatments like waxing, ear piercing, gel nails, hair color, even special items like eyelash extensions are also part of her regime. Plus I'm sure she can help you with the right kind of enhancements any crossdresser would need, like proper breast forms, or hip and butt padding. Even further, she has established excellent working relationships with some of the best plastic surgery firms in our area. If you need a little boost from fillers or Botox, maybe plumper lips, smoother forehead, even something more permanent in the way of body enhancements, I trust that she can help us find just the right approach. Seeing her, in consultation with Dorothy will ensure you have the totally feminine image I would demand. Of course, we have to be reasonable in our expectations. I can see how they will maximize your feminine appearance, but you will never look completely female. Your body and face has too much of a masculine tone to ever totally disappear. They can do a whole lot but can't work magic. You will change but again, only to a point. As long as you're okay with that, I will be too." I sat there speechless for a moment. Julia was being far more thorough with this idea than I had ever imagined. Brutally honest as well. It was clear she wanted me to look as feminine as possible in every way. Her description of my beauty regime and how I would appear was stunning in how complete it would be. To even include body enhancements, which I took to mean possible breast implants, was light-years beyond anything I had contemplated. To agree would be possibly choosing a feminine path from which it would be hard to retrace. But I also knew, she wouldn't be so detailed if this wasn't as vitally important as my wardrobe. "Okay, if you think that is preferable. I can tell you've put a lot of thought into this, which I really appreciate. So far, all the business cards have been pretty easy to figure out, why you gave them to me. But these next two, don't seem to fit the pattern of the others. What can Tom Hurts, Home repair, design and renovation services and Jackson Jones, Business Solutions Inc. do for us? I know you work extensively with both of them in your realtor business. How do they fit in this offer?" At this point, the first time during our meeting, Julia paused. She looked down at her hands, and played with her wedding band and diamond engagement ring, that she wore constantly. I had seen that absent minded habit show up before. Sometimes when she was thinking, or working up to a big moment, other times when she was relaxed and having fun. I just wasn't sure what the hesitation meant, so I waited. Finally, I heard her take a deep breath and look at me again, just not with the same expression as before. She'd been in 'deal mode' before, a firm, controlled look with just enough of a friendly overtone to show although she was being nice, she was serious too. This new look was closer to how she was with me and the girls. A more expressive look with a touch of vulnerability. She smiled a little wider too. "Darby, you've been a wonderful husband to me since we married. True, we don't really interact like we did when we were younger. So I can see how this change is necessary and desirable for you. I have to admit it has a strong appeal to me as well. But it is a radical change for you, me, and our daughters. I have faith in them that they'll accept this new you, because they love you and want what you want. We've taught them well in that regard. I also believe that your assumption they'll be pleased to give up a masculine father for a feminine helper if it means no chores is correct. I'm not worried about that. If anything I see them taking advantage of you to do more and more for them. But that will work itself out. But what I want to be sure of, if I accept this offer, make this bargain with you, is that it is transparent. If you assume a feminine identity, then it has to be complete. You must be willing to be seen that way by the shop keepers you'll visit as part of your domestic service to us, our neighbors, our old friends, my work associates, the young men who eventually come to take our daughters out on dates, even our families, everyone. You know how much I look forward to the summer visits of my sister and her family as they travel to their vacation home. The same with my parents' visit for the Christmas holidays. If you are sincere about this, then you need to know I will expect you to be in your new role, our family domestic servant, constantly and always. Even if it means extremely embarrassing and stressing moments for you as you adjust. But that would be one of my most nonnegotiable demands. Plus, when I look at your role in the house, I don't see the need for a full-time, daily, 12 hours of maid and cook service. Sure there will be lots to do but not all the time. So, then you're availability gives me a great opportunity. I've developed so much as a realtor that I've been considering going out on my own, starting my own agency. Currently I rarely if ever use the home office, it's just not convenient. The most I get from them is the phone and secretarial services. I could use that but it would be only part time. So my counter offer to your proposal, would be you'd would be our maid most of the time. I could envision you working say, 6 am to noon and then from 4 to 9 pm. That would cover most of the time the girls and I would be here including meals, plus give you plenty of opportunities to clean, do laundry or run errands. With just enough time of your own later in the evenings. But when you weren't serving as our maid during the day, I want you to serve me as my secretary. Generally, you'd just work online or over the phone, but on occasion, say at closings or open house events, I would need you in person. To be sure you are in secretarial mode, then I would have Dorothy design a suitable wardrobe for that role too. Simple, pretty, but functional. Maybe a tight pencil skirt, pretty blouse, heels, and sheer stockings, demonstrable feminine but still with the look of a business support staff. That's one of the reasons I gave you Tom Hurt's card. He's my go-to-man for any renovation work I need. I often have clients that need to do some work before they sell a house or a buyer who likes a house that needs some improvements. Tom does those perfectly. Solid work, reasonable cost, creative solutions, and I've never had a client who was dissatisfied by his work. What I'd need for my own agency is an area we could dedicate to it. I was thinking our basement would be perfect. The girls used it when they were younger for a playroom but those days are gone. Now it mostly holds our junk and the laundry. I'd want Tom to make an office for you, a place for some of my signs, gear, etc., and computer and phone connections. The other card, Jackson's is for business services. He'd be perfect to train you in secretarial skills. Your computer experience is good enough, but you could you use some seasoning as a receptionist, answering phones, taking notes, and general office procedures. I'll warn you, he'll be hard to work for, but when he's done, I'd have the type of secretary I'd need to start my own agency. So part of the reason for both those cards is related to how you'd serve me in my business. But I have additional needs from both too and they're related as well. Is that something you'd agree to?" I only had to think a minute, as her logic was clear. Plus, my original premise for the offer was to exchange some useful skill for the opportunity to wear women's clothes. I didn't see anything bad about being Julia's secretary as part of the deal. I told her I'd be glad to help her further her business. She smiled more when I said that, but her expression then shifted. She began to fiddle with her rings again, looking down and then back to me, before continuing. "Your admission that you're willing to step away from your roles as a husband and father to become our domestic and my secretary is honest, so I want to be honest in return. If you assume those roles, those feminine roles, then I think it only makes sense that you no longer occupy a place in the master bedroom. If you are accept my counter offer, then you will always look, smell, and act more feminine than masculine. Not to mention your attire. I already fill that role in the bedroom, and I don't see me being comfortable sleeping with another feminine presence in my bed. So the other thing Tom will do, is modify the basement for another bedroom. There already is a bathroom, so he could build walls to create a small suite for you. A bed, closet, maybe a sitting area, all fit in between the existing laundry and bath and the office he'd build. So another solid part of my counter offer would be you leaving my bedroom. That creates another issue, at least for me. You've admitted that you no longer have the sexual drive, at least for me, that you once had. I've certainly noticed that and missed it. I felt lost somewhat as I didn't know what was behind your sudden sexual distance. Now that I understand and accept that, then you have to accept my needs as well. Besides being an elite business services provider that I've worked with over the years, Jackson is also a handsome, single man. Who has constantly flirted with me, pursued me to a point, knowing I was married. I've remained faithful in that regard, enjoying his flirtatious nature but never succumbing. If you leave your role as my husband, with all that implies, then I will need some sort of replacement. The reason I gave you those card, the business cards of everyone I think we need to make this offer, this bargain you made, a win-win for everyone, is simple. If you accept my counter offer, the changes I've outlined and insist on, then you'll need to call each of these contacts. You tell them what we are doing. That you are becoming my domestic servant, and as appropriate, my secretary. You tell them that you relinquishing your role as my husband, as the father to your daughters to do so. You tell them that you want to become the feminine person on the outside that you feel you are on the inside. After you tell them what we have agreed upon, how we want their help, tell them to call me so I can fill in all the details so they can help you take your new place in my life. That will also include telling Jackson, that he is free to pursue me, as you have relinquished that hold as well. That, if he is still interested, you won't be upset, offended, or any way angry if he does so. That is the final part of my offer." At that point, Julia stopped twisting her rings and actually slid them down her finger. Holding them out, she dropped them in my hand, and looked up at me. "Also, you'll need to take these. I have one more card, it's on the counter behind me, by the phone. After you call all of the contacts on your stack of business cards, you call that number. It is for my jeweler, Daniel. You have him resize these rings to fit you, as I still want you to be mine and no one else's. Those rings served me will these years in that regard. I imagine on your hand they will be equally effective and pretty too. Once that is done, the bargain will be sealed and our lives will go on, in this new direction." My face had flushed when I understood what Julia expected me to do. Call each contact, explain what I wanted, and why. Especially the business specialist, Jackson. She wanted me more or less to tell him he was free to fuck my wife. Probably in my own home. Plus work for him for free so he could teach me how to be a perfect, obedient, helpful, little secretary too. The image of me in a pencil skirt and very high heels, trying to please this man, who at that point, would have replaced me in my own bedroom, was something I didn't want in my head. But it was there. As much as it pained me to admit it, I understood her position and her expectations. When I had made my offer, I knew it would be difficult. Difficult to give up being a role model, and a father figure. More so to give up my role as a husband. I knew I would lose my role in the home, but I hadn't thought about all of the ramifications. Julia always did. So I should have expected to be replaced in bed. I paused as I held the cards in my hand, realizing what all they represented. Then I took a deep breath. Probably deeper than the one Julia had taken. "Julia, I guess I'll go write up a few notes. I want to be prepared to make these phone calls, since you're okay with my offer."