Susie free porn video

Susie Prologue: Hit by Reality "Shit! This cannot be right, can it?" I was reading through my first payment statement from Big Nameless Fucking Bank Inc. for my college loan and was not at all happy. Since I am now the proud possessor of a degree in finance and economics, you'd think that I would have known that my living expenses plus this loan payment would be more than the starting salary of the job I accepted. I had envisioned working at a large bank (like the one that I now owe a sizable fortune) working in high finance. But the best offer I got was for an entry level banker. However, thanks to a referral from my parents, I did find a much better paying job at an advertising agency in the HR department working with their retirement plan. I was in the process of looking for an apartment somewhere near my work so I could stop commuting the forty-five miles from my parents house everyday. Then that bank statement arrived. Between my tuition increasing every year and me incorrectly estimating the multitude of deductions that were going to come out of my paycheck, there was no way I was going to be able to afford an apartment by myself. I desperately wanted a place of my own. All through college I had a roommate at the men's dorm. There never was enough closet space to hold the clothes I wanted to bring with me. Also, the clothes I wanted to bring might have been problematic. I can't say any of the roommates I had would have let me study peacefully while wearing my favorite nightgown and fuzzy slippers. I'm also pretty sure verbal abuse and possibly physical abuse would have have been likely. So the exploration of my gender identity was on hold while I was amassing this huge debt. In retrospect, I wished I'd taken my supportive parent's advice and gone to the public university here. But no, I had my heart set on a small liberal arts college away from home. Turned out it was not very liberal, just very expensive. So I was really looking forward to getting all of my stuff out of my old room and my mom was looking forward to turning it into a yoga studio. During my drive into work this morning, I kept going through my limited options. I could keep living at home, but even with cool parents, exploring my feminine side way out in the suburbs was going to be difficult. I did find one affordable apartment, but it was located in an area of the city where, let's just say urban blight would be a step up. My only other option was to find a roommate. I was a little depressed by my situation when I got to work. But then, as I grabbed a coffee in the company cafeteria, I glanced at the bulletin board on the wall. There was a posting, "Roommate wanted. Private bedroom with large walk-in closet, own bathroom. Near city center. Contact Justin in tech support." I know Justin. Well, I know who he is, not know him personally. He stopped at my desk my first day and brought my company computer. I distinctly remember his black nail polish and full bodied, shoulder length hair. This might work! Chapter 1: An Opportune Solution As soon as I got to my desk with my coffee and my breakfast in hand, I logon to my computer, find Justin's email address, and whip off a quick note saying I'm really interested in his roommate posting and hoping the room was still available. I then settled in reading my emails and eating my breakfast. I suppose I should point out that my breakfast consisted of a rather stale donut and a banana. I keep trying to leave early from my parent's house, skipping breakfast in order to beat the traffic. Unfortunately, the roads here seem to be in perpetual gridlock. By the time I get to work, the cafeteria has been pillaged by other starving commuters, save for the unwanted donut or stray piece of fruit. I'd stop at a regular coffee shop on the way in, but the company cafeteria is subsidized and I need to save every dime I can. Just as I finished with the last of my unread emails, a new one arrived and my heart rate jumped a little. It was from Justin with 'Roommate' in the subject line. I crossed my fingers and clicked on it. "Hey Sean, That computer still working for you I hope. Room is still available. I can show it to you after work. The apartment is only three blocks from here, over by the river. Send me a note if that works for you." I immediately wrote back saying yes. I then slowly got nervous over the next three hours waiting to hear back, hoping no one else was interested. I guess Justin is just a busy employee because I finally did get a note with a time and place to meet. Then I found another reason to worry. An apartment on the river could be very pricey. If Justin wants me to pay half the rent (probably a reasonable expectation), it might still be out of my price range. I started to wonder if maybe I could sublet just the large walk-in closet. Promptly at 5:30pm, Justin arrives at the building lobby where I am waiting anxiously. He looks pretty much the same as he did when he delivered my computer, clad in just a t-shirt, jeans, and canvas loafers, no socks. Apparently very casual dress is one of the perks of being in tech support. The HR department isn't as laid back, but at least they no longer require a jacket and tie which, BTW, I detest wearing (although I would be open to a cute bolero jacket with a necklace). Unfortunately, I do notice that he is not wearing black nail polish or polish of any color, and his hair pulled back in a pony tail. Maybe my sense that Justin was a kindred spirit was faulty. Then again, up close, I notice Justin's smooth complexion and his slender build, so... So I'm grasping at straws. On the three block walk to the apartment building we start to feel each other out. The first thing we find in common is student debt which is why he's looking for a roommate. Aside from that, we don't seem to have much else in common whether it's music, sports, movies, or books, although we're both open to new experiences. We very carefully tiptoed around politics until we each provided enough hints to decide we were both on the progressive side of the spectrum. So we are unlikely to kill each other. With his building in sight, Justin starts telling me a little about the apartment, "my place is on the fourth floor with a nice patio overlooking the river, I love sitting there with a glass of wine watching the sunset. So, it's actually a three bedroom apartment. I'm using one of the bedrooms as a personal space, office, that sort of thing. My bedroom adjoins it. The third bedroom is actually the largest. My brother was living there until last month when he moved in with his girlfriend. That has made everything a little tight money wise for me since he was contributing a third of the rent. I'm hoping you'll like the place as much as I do." I hesitatingly decided I'd better ask how much Justin wanted before even seeing the apartment. I'd hate to fall in love with this place only to discover a third of the rent was still more than I could afford. So I asked just as we arrived at the building entrance. I braced myself expecting to hear an amount way over my limit. I was delighted to find out that it was under my limit. I tried not to gasp and casually replied "that sounds good, I'm excited to go up and see it." Being one who can never accept good news without trying to find something amiss, all I can think of on our way up the elevator is, "How can Justin afford paying twice what I can afford? I'm in HR, I have a good idea what he's paid. I wonder if he has a second job or something." As Justin opens the apartment door, I still wished I knew if he would be ok with me wearing female clothing from time to time (ok, more like most of the time). When I walked into the apartment, I stopped and asked if I should take off my shoes. "If you want to. I don't have any rules about things like that. Actually I don't have any rules at all, now that I think about it. I suppose it does make sense to take off street shoes, my brother always did. So, ok let's make that our first roommate rule," Justin said while slipping off his loafers. He then saw me standing there, mouth agape, staring at his/her perfectly pedicured toes with deep red nail polish, adorned with tiny white flower details. "Oops, didn't mean to shock you. I sometimes forget that not everybody at work is familiar with my clothing and makeup choices. I really hope that doesn't put you off. I was getting the feeling we'd make great roommates." I couldn't stop myself from grinning as I quickly slipped off my shoes, then removed my socks. "I have the same feeling," I laughed as I wiggled my toes with the vibrant pink nail polish. "Oh my god, those are adorable! Come on girl, I'll grab a couple of glasses of wine and I'll give you the grand tour. Pinot Grigio ok with you?" I give a thumbs up and follow Justin to the kitchen. Everything about the apartment is fabulous. I can't get over how spacious the bedroom and closet are. Everything I own will fit in just half the closet. And I can't wait to put all my shoes in the built-in cabinet (right now my women's shoes are stuck in shoeboxes shoved under my bed, which is no way to treat the most expensive and cutest things I own). While enjoying the sunset from the patio, we talked about the problems we both experienced growing up not sure of our true gender. By the time Justin was in high school here in the city, he started calling herself Justine at home and around her friends, who shortened it to Tina. At school, she started dabbling with makeup and wearing the occasional girl's top or jeans. But never went any farther. "I thought that waiting until I was in college would make it easier to decide about transitioning. I was wrong," Tina explained, "I kind of drifted through high school, not really applying myself, so college work came as a shock. Although it shouldn't have with all the warnings I got from my parents. I think the biggest surprise you have becoming an adult is how often your parents turn out to be right. Anyway, getting my degree took all my concentration and energy." "After graduating and getting the job at the agency a couple of years ago, my brother and I moved in here. He could see what I couldn't or wouldn't, that I was depressed. Anyway, long story short, I started working on transitioning. Started HRT six months ago and live as a woman outside of work. My boobs are beginning to develop, so sometime soon I need to go full time at work, give up my ambiguous appearance." In turn, I told Tina my similar story. Except, growing up out in a rural suburb, I was afraid to dress outside the conservative norms. Like Tina's brother, my mom was the one who knew that I was depressed. She was the one who encouraged me to find out who I really was. The first time I wore a dress and makeup at home, she took a photo, then showed me how remarkably I looked just like my aunt, her sister Susan, when she was my age. "So, my mom has been calling me Susie ever since," I explained. "I like that she got to name me twice." "Ok, this will be our second roommate rule, in this apartment, you call me Tina and I call you Susie." I smiled and lifted my wine glass, "to Tina and Susie, roommates." Then I notice the time. "Oh my goodness, look how late it is. I still have a forty-five minute drive home." "Ok, how about this for an idea, you go get your car and park it in the building garage. I'll give you the passcode. You can call your parents and let them know you're staying here. Besides, it's Friday, so no work tomorrow." "I like it," I said, slipping just my shoes on and grabbing my car keys. Tina wrote down the code for the garage and where to park, also gave me the extra pass key for the apartment. It took me almost an hour to walk to the ramp where my car was parked, drive back, figure out the garage, and return to my new home. When I returned, I saw no trace of Tina. Then I heard a faint shout, "that you sweety, I'm in the spare room getting ready. Door is open!" My grand tour had included everything except the bedroom next to Tina's. I was expecting to see the run of the mill small extra room intended for a small child or use as an office. Instead I found a room nearly as large as my new one, with a large dressing table where Tina was sitting in a gorgeous blue slip dress, strappy black heeled sandals, putting on the final touches of her makeup. The room had a makeshift photography studio in the corner and racks of clothes and shoes. "Welcome to my, ahh my... well I guess it's become a full blown studio," Tina laughed. "I bought so many outfits and took so many selfies of myself to post on social media that I've developed an interest in photography and fashion." Looking at her, it was hard to believe this was the same person. "You look amazing, you have to promise to show me how you did your makeup. It looks absolutely professional." "Of course, I'll add that to our roommate rules, 'share beauty tips'" she giggled. "So, while you were gone, a friend of mine called and told me that my favorite local jazz singer is at the club tonight. Want to come?" Before I could answer, she added, "I think we are pretty close to the same size, what size dress and shoes do you wear?" "You're asking me to go out as Susie, I mean as me?" "How else would you go out, silly?" she asked with a big grin on her face. Quickly realizing this is what I've always wanted, all I can do is give Tina a wide eyed grin and nod my head excitedly. "Ok, I take all of that as a positive response, so let's get started." I immediately was drawn to a black dress with lace cap sleeves laying on a nearby chair. "Can I try this one?" I hesitatingly ask. "Sure! But first we better get you some lingerie, unless you're already wearing some underneath those drab clothes." I couldn't stop laughing because I was wearing panties, "just need a push-up bra and maybe breast forms if you have them." "No problem, the dresser over there has what you need, try the top left drawer. I think there might be a padded bra or two in there also." While I'm sifting through Tina's treasure trove of bras, she is evaluating my less than stylish hair. It is on the longish side, but it has no shape. Tina points out I almost could pull off a pixie cut, but until I know if she really has hair cutting skills, I'm going borrow one of her synthetic wigs she has on a shelf behind the dresser. I'm kind of attracted to the long auburn red one. No sense being shy, so I strip down to my panties and try on the bra I picked and pulled on the dress. It was a little tight, but Tina came to the rescue with a waist cincher which gave me some needed curves. Seeing my shape with the dress on triggered a bit of dysphoria. I know I have to do something so I can always look like this. Tina comes over with a couple of pairs of shoes that would go perfectly with this dress. I can't resist the red pumps because I think they would compliment the auburn wig. "You want stockings or do you usually go bare leg?" Tina asks. "Hmm, let's go with stockings, it's a bit chilly out," I'm using the weather as an excuse because I absolutely love the feel of stockings. With a pair of nude thigh highs on, I try on the pumps and I feel wonderful. Tina might not ever get them back (fortunately they are not Louboutins, so I won't have to dig up $600 from my nonexistent savings to pay for them). "You look really nice Susie. Would you like me to do your makeup?" "Please!" And I sit down at the dressing table and watch in the mirror as Tina does her magic. When she puts the wig on me I can't believe how good I look as a red head. I'm going to have to seriously consider dying my hair once it's long enough. "Wow Susie, I might have to rethink my invite, you look insanely hot. No one will pay any attention to me." "Yeh, like that is ever going to happen, but thanks for the ego boost," I say. "Anyway, in all the excitement, I didn't ask where we are going." "There's a little jazz club in the basement of one of the buildings downtown. It's only about six blocks from here, but I usually call an Uber because I don't like walking alone." "Well, I'm excited!" Then added, "How long before I get conditioned to worrying about my safety?" "It happens pretty fast. I'll bet you anything we won't get through the evening without some creepy guy approaching us." "Well, I'm still excited anyway." "Great, me too! But first come over here, we need to document our first roommate outing." Tina turns on a camera she has mounted on a tripod, then stands next to me. "Smile and strike a pose every time you hear the camera beep, ok?" For a couple of minutes, we play fashion model. Tina is really good at it. I mean, I think she could do it for real. She's going to do a little photo editing and send them to me later. I might have a new Facebook profile picture (it would shock the hell out of my old college roommates). Chapter 2: And All That Jazz Among the multitude of things Tina and I don't have in common was music. I like pop and rock while Tina prefers classical and jazz. So while I was ecstatic about venturing out in public as a woman, I was less thrilled about the venue. The Uber dropped us off at the club entrance and we navigated the steep steps down one flight. I thought I was really adept in heels, but the steps at my parents' house did not prepare me for uneven, slippery stone and no handrail (that has to be a code violation, right?). I think the only thing that kept me from falling was the fear of my friends and relatives seeing a breaking news flash on tv. "Guy in high heels breaks neck in comical fall, video at eleven." We sat down at a small table at the edge of a small stage with a piano. There were at most thirty, thirty-five people there. We each ordered a liquor (Grand Marnier, finally another thing we like in common) and settled in, waiting for the show to start, or whatever it is that is going to start. Not long after, an older woman, short silver hair sat done at the piano and began playing. The first thing that struck me was the intimacy. We were only ten feet away and I didn't need ear plugs. She played and sang for almost an hour before taking a break. I was stunned when she walked over to our table and sat down. "Great set, Aunt Jenny," Tina said as she reached over for a hug. "Thanks kid, always love singing to my favorite niece!" the woman chuckled. "So, introduce us." "Susie, this is Jenny, my favorite aunt," Tina said. "I'm also her only aunt, but I like hearing it anyway. Nice to meet you Susie." "And I'm her favorite niece because all she had were nephews until I started transitioning," Tina laughed. "Well, we needed a girl in the family, luckily you agreed to change." "Aunt Jenny and I've always had a special relationship, once you accept her sense of humor," Tina said. "Well you were the obvious choice, I had to have someone I could give all my designer dresses to. You're the only one they fit. Can you imagine any of your overweight brothers wearing them? No, you're the only one who can do them justice my dear." Jenny said, laughing at her own joke. Jenny then got a mischievous look on her face and began probing. "So, are you two here on a date? Are you dating girls now Tina, hmmm?" "No and no!" Tina shot back. "Susie works at the agency in HR and is going to be my new roommate." "Then you're still dating that photographer? What's his name, ahh..." "Alex. Off and on," Tina said. She sounded a bit hesitant, upset, embarrassed. It was hard to read her emotions. We haven't gotten around to discussing any particulars of our sex lives yet, like past or present lovers. Only that Tina mentioned she liked guys and I told her I preferred someone who would love me. So this Alex was news to me, but I did wonder if this was the free lance photographer Alexander that our agency occasionally uses. Jenny then turns her attention to me. "And Susie, are you also trans, or a cross dresser, or, what's the term, gender fluid? You like men, women, both?" "Aunt Jenny," screamed Tina, "stop it, you're not being polite! It does not matter!" "Oh, I'm just a curious old woman..." "You're not old and you're not being curious. You're a, a, a busybody." Tina turns to me. "She only wants to know so she can hook you up with one of her multitude of acquaintances." "A busybody? Really? You're starting to sound like your mother. Ok, but so what, I'm a romantic. I like seeing loving couples in my audiences, not lonely singles. I don't sing the blues after all. I think everyone should have someone to love. Is that so bad Susie?" I'm finding all of this fascinating, "Absolutely not. I am transgendered like Tina, but I'm still figuring out when and how to transition. I'm also still figuring out the man or woman thing. For now, I'm happy with learning to love myself. If I ever do need a matchmaker, I'll call you first." Jenny turns back to Tina, points at me and says, "I like this girl. You take good care of her Tina!" I don't know if it's the music, Aunt Jenny, the venue, or the fact I feel happy about myself, but by the time she finishes her second set, I think I could become a jazz aficionado. Before we leave, I get a hug from Aunt Jenny (she wants me to call her "Aunt Jenny", I think she's adding me as a family member) and gives me her contact info. Leaving the club, I have a far easier time ascending the stairs because I removed my shoes. That prompted the man climbing the stairs behind to make a lewd offer to give me a foot massage. Glad I didn't take Tina's bet about creepy guys. Fortunately our Uber showed up as soon as we reached the street exit. The ride back to our apartment was quiet. I was dying to ask about Alex but decided there was ample time later to pursue that. For now, I was quite content to simply savor the day's events. I left home this morning feeling almost homeless with no foreseeable path to resolve my gender identity turmoil. I'm ending the day with a new friend, a new home, a pseudo family member, and hope for a way forward with my life. Chapter 3: Moving Day I slept really well that night. Tina's brother had left sheets and a comforter for the queen size bed and Tina had a spare pillow and a nightie for me to wear. I was planning on just wearing my work clothes from the day before for my drive back to my parents so that I could start hauling my stuff to my new place. But before I had the chance to retrieve them from Tina's studio, Tina knocked on my door with a selection of jeans, tops, and shoes to wear instead. I really don't think I spent more than a second or two to decide, "why not." I might as well be comfortable because it was going to be a long weekend of driving back and forth, even if I can borrow my parent's SUV. I figured renting a truck would be expensive and besides, I've never driven a truck in my life. Navigating narrow city streets while wearing these cute espadrille flats I selected might be a disaster waiting to happen. I was tempted to wear the wig again. While it would boost my confidence that I looked decidedly female in case I needed to stop along the way, it might also be a distraction. Last night I was constantly playing with the long tresses, practicing flipping them in a seductive manner (just in case I ever want to seduce someone). Besides, it's already likely my parents are going to be surprised to see me arrive as Susie. Arriving with long red hair might be too much for them to process at once. So I did my best to style my hair using Tina's pixie cut suggestion as a guide. The sweeping bangs and lots of hair spray to poof it up actually turned out almost cute. A little foundation, powder, and lip gloss, and I was ready for the road. Not being a weekday, traffic was pretty light, so I managed to make the drive in a tad over thirty minutes. My mom was planting flowers in the front garden when I pulled into the driveway. She looked up, waved, and chirped, "good morning Susie", before doing a double take and scrambling to her feet and almost running to the car. "Are you, I mean... is there some news you want to share dear?" Mom asked, trying desperately to remain calm but was clearly concerned with my sudden change of appearance outside our house. It took me an hour and a half hour over breakfast (much appreciated because I was famished having only consumed alcohol and hors d'oeuvres the night before) to explain how I was taking control of my life but at the same time being careful. Dad was stoic as always, but I finally got a very nice, 'I'm proud of my daughter' smile from mom. "Now aren't you glad we gave her that referral to Rebecca's company," dad said to mom, which totally confused me. Dad had suggested the agency because he and mom knew the owner from some arts fund raising committee they are on. But what did that have to do with my gender transition? Mom noticed my confusion and asked what I knew about Rebecca and her company. All I knew was that I had a job and that I liked it. "Didn't you see all the stories a few years ago about her and her wife? It was in the local paper we sent you at school," Mom asked. "The newspaper? I told you I never read that. I get all my news from Google," I replied somewhat self righteously. "Well dear, you obviously missed this news. She and her wife are very successful business women who also happen to be transgender. A lot was written about them when they took over several local companies and for empowering women." Dad explained, "We kind of thought, with a very supportive culture, what better place for you to start your career." "Well, that explains why I see so few men at work, and the one that I'm friends with is actively trying not to be one," I joked. "So, you guys have any old newspapers laying around? I probably should at least start reading the business section." With that, dad got up saying, "Ok, you two gals start packing, I'll take the SUV over to Uncle Ed's and get his trailer hooked up. We should be able to get you moved in one trip if we pack efficiently!" In the process of packing, I positively learned that mom has not been snooping around my room. I know this because she had absolutely no idea how many dresses and high heels I owned. As I pulled shoebox after shoebox out from under my bed, she started laughing uncontrollably. When the last box was out, she took my hand and led me to her and dad's room and told me to look under the bed. The entire space was filled with shoeboxes. "Like mother, like daughter," I giggled just as dad returned. He rolled his eyes like a teenage girl. "Shit, don't tell me Susie has a shoe addiction too. I hope there's room in the trailer." There wasn't. But I did finally get my last pair of heels tucked into a nook in my car's trunk. I did have to dispose of most of the boxes to make everything efficiently packed according to dad's dictates. I would have made a fuss, but my new place has that really nice cabinetry for storing my pretty shoes, so I didn't. For a moving experience, it wasn't bad. Dad actually knew how to load a trailer and drive with it hooked to his SUV. I had momentary visions of my clothes flying out and causing a massive accident on the interstate. The only real problem I had was with mom criticizing a couple of overtly sexy dresses of mine. It was a good thing that I packed my lingerie myself. She would have thrown a fit if she had seen the black lace babydoll I like to wear while watching tv (I hope Tina doesn't mind). On the other hand though, mom missed her chance to lecture me as a teenage girl on dressing appropriately, so it is kind of sweet that she is doing it now. Dad was happy to find a parking space right in front of my new apartment building, he was not happy to see the size of the elevator in my new apartment building. The only large pieces of furniture that I wanted to take, my desk and a very heavy chair, we're going to have to be carried up three flights of stairs. As he stared at my, dare I say, girlish frame, he grinned at me, "good thing your brother lives nearby and offered to help his fledgling sister move. He should be here any minute." My older brother and only sibling Michael has turned out to be one of my favorite people. Although it certainly didn't start out that way. As his younger brother, I was generally ignored. I was routinely left out of any playtime activities with his group of neighborhood friends. Unless it was some game like 'hide 'n seek' where I hid but no one seeked. But when I began showing signs I was transgendered, he started to be nicer to me and was truly concerned about me. He became my friend and protector. If I didn't have anyone to play with, he'd stay home and play with me. I haven't seen him for a couple of months while he's been traveling. So this is a really happy surprise. "He's already here," dad said, looking at a text message. "Says he got here early and met your roommate. They're on their way down." Less than a minute later the elevator doors opened and out step Michael and Tina. A third person, a guy, seems to be following them, talking with Tina. At first I wondered if this was Alex. If it is, then he's not Alexander, the free lance photographer because I've seen him before in HR when he took pictures for a company brochure. Michael walks straight towards me and gives me a brotherly hug. "Ok Tina," Michael yells back to Tina, "you're right." Then he tells me, "she told me I'd be shocked when I see how fucking cute you are." Then he looks at mom and says, "oops sorry about the language." In the mean time Tina and the mystery man are now standing next to me. "Susie, this is my youngest brother Matt. He has a loft apartment on the sixth floor, he's going the help move you in too." So this is not the brother who used to live with Tina. She has two older brothers and one younger. But Aunt Jenny said they were all overweight. Matt is clearly not overweight. He's tall, not heavy, thick wavy black hair, very good looking, and, wait... Why is my heart racing, I feel flush! This is a very weird feeling. As I shake his hand, he looks over to mom and says, "please accept my apology beforehand, but your daughter is fucking cute," and he gives me a little wink. Mom looks a bit flustered, because she sees that I am obviously blushing. Dad, on the other hand, looks relieved that he's not going to be lugging furniture up three flights of stairs. With the two guys doing most of the lifting and carrying, mom, Tina, and I devoted our efforts towards unpacking and organizing my closet. Dad hooked up my computer and gaming equipment and held doors open for the guys (all in all, he was pleased with everyone's efficiency). I was somewhat surprised that neither of my parents took the opportunity to subtly interrogate my new roommate to make sure she wasn't some psycho who was going to kill me or sell me a timeshare in Florida. Apparently hearing Michael go on and on about Tina being a nice girl, was good enough for them. By the time we were done, we were all pretty hungry. Tina suggested a nearby restaurant, but mom and dad wanted to get home before it got dark, so they took a pass, but not before getting Tina and me to promise to come out to their place soon. "Hey, what about Matt and me? We did all the heavy lifting after all," Michael protested. "Of course, the girls can bring a date too," Mom said laughing and making the guys blush with embarrassment, which I'm sure was her intent. "We'll have a barbecue. How about next weekend? Check your calendars!" After giving mom and dad big tearful thank you hugs and reminding them to call and let me know when they are safely home, the rest of us looked at each other a little uncomfortably before Tina said, "Ok, Susie and I will get ready and then we'll go down to the Italian place across the street for pasta. Sound good?" Chapter 4: My Dinner with Tina (and our brothers) I threw on a sleeveless maxi dress and a pair off low heeled strappy sandals. My makeshift, heavily sprayed hairdo was holding up well, so I just needed to add a little mascara and lipstick to be presentable. Tina stayed in her jeans and T-shirt but switched to a pair of black pumps which gave her short stature a little more height (hmmm, that brought her almost up to my brother, interesting). The moment we walked into the restaurant, the hostess, the bartender, and two of the servers all greeted Tina like she was family. She shrugged her shoulders. "I eat here an awful lot. It's close, the food is good, it's affordable, and I feel safe and accepted." As we sat down in a cozy booth, she continued, "I'd been here several times before I came here the first time wearing a dress and makeup. When I did, the very first thing anyone asked was 'What's your new name?' since then, no one has ever misgendered me." When our server arrived with menus, Michael immediately ordered a couple bottles of rather pricey Italian wine. "Since we're celebrating my sister's move, I insist on paying, tonight is on me," Michael said. "We can't let you do that! While we were waiting for Susie and we were all commiserating about student debt, you laughed about yours being over six figures. I mean, that's more than any of ours combined. Please, let's just split the check." Tina implored my brother. "No, no, I should not have mentioned that. I want..." Michael started to plead, so I interrupted. "My brother is too polite to tell us that he can afford it. He obviously didn't mention his student loan was for medical school. He's on staff at the University hospital, which is why he lives close by." "But you were talking about working on a ship for the last month or so." Tina said. "Oh that." I once again jumped in, "That was 'Doctors without Borders'. Ok guys, my brother happens to be very smart, but he hates being the center of attention. So let's just make this all about me, I'm obviously the vainer sibling in the family, I can handle the attention." "Yes, please, let's talk about Susie," Michael said, eager to control the conversation, "what I want to know is, after your, I'm going to say awakening the last couple of days, what are you going to do Monday morning when you have to go back to work?" "Wow, good question. Anyone have any suggestions? I suppose I could do what Tina's been doing, dropping not so subtle hints. But I have to work with outside vendors, so I need to look professional I suppose." Noticing Tina's smirk at that last comment, I quickly corrected myself, "I mean, not that Tina doesn't dress professionally, it's that I can't pull of the Goth girl androgynous look." "But I probably should let my boss know I plan to transition, sooner than later. Because right now, I'm dreading putting on those yucky clothes and hearing someone call me Sean again." "Well consider this, the vendors have to suck up to you," Tina points out, "don't worry about what they think. You report to Caroline, right? She's the HR director I talked to almost a year ago now about transitioning. Pretty much all she said was thanks for the heads up and to make sure I see her before going full time so she can update my personnel file and issue me a new ID badge. I think you can talk to her whenever." Then she quickly added, "Oh, and she can go over health insurance options. Definitely do that before HRT. In the mean time you start growing your hair out, develop your female voice, mannerisms, that sort of thing." "Ok, so no mini skirt and high heels Monday, but talk to Caroline, and start becoming my true self. I can do that," I say with a lot of conviction (and that was without even having a glass of wine yet). "Now, my turn. Matt, I didn't know another of Tina's brothers lived in the same building. Are you keeping an eye on her or something? Is there anything about her I should be concerned about?" "Other than she's likely to borrow your clothes without asking, no, nothing to be concerned about," Matt said. Tina answered the other query, "I'm sure you can relate to this, my parents are extremely protective. When I wanted to move into my own apartment, like you, I couldn't find any place I could afford that wasn't awful. Matt was already living here in his loft. Since it was near work and in a nice area, they offered to cover part of the rent if I would move here. The three bedroom apartment was the only one available at the time, so my oldest brother, Greg offered to be my roommate, because it would save him money. I am pretty sure they've been keeping an eye on me. But I've decided that it's sweet that they do." "Would you mind keeping an eye on my sister too?" Micheal asks Matt. "I have no idea what kind of trouble she's likely to get into. For a finance major you'd think she'd be more level headed. It's going to be interesting observing her once she starts hormone therapy. It might make for a good a paper for the medical journal." My face has to be so red right now with embarrassment. But then Matt, who's sitting next to me in the booth, slides closer and wraps his arm around me. "I would be delighted to watch out for Susie and I would be shocked I tell you, shocked if she ever gets into trouble," Matt says. I notice Michael giving me a quick wink and I realize that Matt still has his arm around me and I'm liking it a lot. Did my brother just set me up on purpose? Tina looks a bit bemused and inches a little closer to Michael. Just then the first bottle of wine arrives with the waitress and four stemmed glasses. After the glasses are filled, Michael puts his arm around Tina, and proposes a toast, looking at me and then Tina, "To our sisters, both beautiful and brave." It was a wonderful evening. Michael was his most charming self, telling stories about his travels and various adventures. Tina seemed to hang on his every word. For someone who might or might not be in a relationship, she sure looked like she was becoming enamored with my brother. I've got to find a way to ask her about this Alex guy sometime! On the other hand, I'm finding out that I have a lot in common with her brother. Matt also has a degree in economics from the local university and has one of those low level banker jobs (but is due for a promotion). If I had taken my parents' advice, we could have been classmates. Outside the restaurant, Michael gave both Tina and me hugs before going to his car. The remaining three of us headed back across the street to our building, Tina first, Matt and me trailing. When a car turned the corner onto our street, Matt instinctively grabbed my hand as we hurried to the curb. Although safely in front of our building, Matt continued to hold my hand all the way to the elevator. When we reached the fourth floor and the elevator doors opened, Tina said, "Go ahead, I won't look." "What?" I said sheepishly. "Will you just give him a good night kiss so we can go get some sleep." "You want me to..." "Come on girl, you've wanted to for the last hour!" Matt is standing there a little dumbstruck. He shrugs his shoulders. I shrug mine, get up on my toes and give him a quick kiss on the lips. "There, now was that so hard?" Tina giggles. "You two can analyze this whole evening later. I know I will. And I'm sure Michael is already drafting a paper on it." Chapter 5: Eventful Day at Work I didn't talk to Caroline on Monday. For a multitude of reasons, some good, some contrived, a month went by before I did. Then only because of a minor slip of the tongue. I was laying the groundwork as planned. My persona and demeanor at work were becoming more and more feminine. One afternoon I was waiting for the elevator with Caroline, on our way to a meeting. When the doors opened, Tina (who was now also Tina at work, her boobs too obvious now) happened to be in the elevator. Without thinking, she greeted us with, "Hi Susie, hi Caroline," as she exited. Now alone in the elevator with my boss, I heard her sigh. Caroline, talking to herself just loud enough for me to hear says, "how am I going to increase our percentage of male employees if you all keep becoming women?" Then she laughs, turns to me saying, "Don't worry, you certainly must know I've been expecting this. Just let me know what your plans are." Right after I thanked her for understanding, she thought for several seconds, then added, "You know, I'd appreciate it if you don't go through the extended androgynous phase that your roommate went through. Several employees told me they were afraid of using the wrong pronouns around her. I would really, really prefer if you just came to work next week wearing a nice dress and heels. You don't have to if you're not ready, but I have a hunch you are." I think my response can be best described as "stunned silence." I finally managed an affirmative nod and a whispered "ok" along with a huge grin (which stuck around through our meeting with an outside vendor, who couldn't figure out what I was thinking. I may have hit upon a new negotiating strategy). I did wear a nice dress and heels the following week. When I put my purse down on my cubicle desk, a new ID badge and a nameplate with "Susie" on it were waiting for me. It was weird. For the next hour everybody in the office just went about their usual business. People stopped at my desk to discuss work like absolutely nothing had changed. I was starting to think that maybe I had just imagined that I was ever somebody named Sean. When I eventually needed to use the restroom, I almost went into the men's, until I saw my hand with crimson nail polish holding the door handle. I stopped, did a 180 and headed to the women's restroom. It was empty so no ensuing drama, just peed and checked my makeup. As soon as I pushed the door open to leave, I saw several female colleagues standing there holding an small banner with "Welcome Susie" printed on it. I started crying. Later that day I met with Caroline to change my employee information. Because she recently went through this with Tina, she had a list prepared of all of the external legal steps I needed to take (like legally changing my name, getting a new drivers license, passport, and such). She also went over my medical coverage for counseling, HRT, and surgeries). When she finished, Caroline took a deep breath and exhaled, "That was a lot to take in, I'm sure. Just know that we're going to be here for you. Don't be afraid to ask questions. And not just work related questions. If you want to know where somebody buys shoes, makeup, whatever, just ask, don't be embarrassed. They're not going to be embarrassed to ask you things too." "A few of the girls and me are heading down to the lobby bar. Go grab your purse and join us. We invited Tina too, so hopefully she'll be there also." I understand now why Caroline gave me that little advice about asking questions. I think our group of eight women (including me, yay) could drink and swear as well as any group of men (not necessarily something to brag about, but still, yet another example of equality in practice). So I wasn't surprised that the first thing anyone asked was, "fucking anybody Susie?" "Well she denies it, but she is dating my brother," Tina says. "I am not. We just hang out together!" "I think hanging out together at restaurants, movies, and a couple of concerts is what that rest of us call dating!" Tina challenges me, adding, "and Matt just gives me a sheepish grin and refuses to answer if you guys are having sex." "Ewwww, sounds like roommate trouble," one of the girls says. "No," Tina giggles, "actually, I think they make an adorable couple. I'm just trying to get Susie to admit it." "Ok, ok, I admit it. I like your brother. A lot. It's just that I've never had a boyfriend before, so I'm unsure about what I'm feeling, and I'm not going to answer the sex question either." "Well, I think we pretty much know that Susie is getting some," one of the other girls positively asserts, "fair is fair, what about you Tina, are you getting any?" "Oh yes," I scream, finally an opening, "I want to know the answer to that. What's up with your photographer friend, Alex?" "Not Alexander?" Caroline asks. "Yeh, Alexander," Tina says. Tina looks a little annoyed, but since I'm sure she has feelings towards Michael even though she's only seen him a few times (that I know of) since that night at the Italian restaurant, I have every right to ask since he is my brother. Of course, I'm not going to bring that up. Transgendered women dating each other's brother would be juicy gossip for the whole company. We're still trying to figure it out. "How do you know him?" someone asks. "I take care of getting his equipment connected to our network so he can upload and edit photos that he takes. I hung around the first time to make sure everything was ok. I'm interested in photography and fashion, so I started asking him about cameras and photoshopping. Also how he went about posing models." "I was telling him about the small studio I set up," "It's really very professional looking, you should see some of Tina's photos, they're beautiful, very artistic," I interrupted. "Thanks. Anyway, when I mentioned I only live three blocks from here, he offered to stop by and take a look. Once he realized that I was primarily taking pictures of myself posing in women's clothes, he knew I was trans. So I ended up dressing and he showed me how to pose, taking pictures of me. He came over several times. Then one time, he suggested going out for dinner. I started to change back into my work clothes, but he stopped me and asked if I'd like to go out as a woman." "I did. So, anyway, we've dated and I've done some freelance modeling for him, so he didn't have to pay a real model. But the last couple of times he's been pressuring me to pose in lingerie. I think he's going to try to get me to pose nude or do videos. So, to answer the original question, no, I'm not getting any, and certainly never with Alex. That relationship is over." "Good," said Caroline, "you were this close to being a #MeToo victim. I'm going to have a chat with our art department about him to see if anyone else has reported problems. Unfortunately, where there's smoke, there's fire." While Caroline was speaking, I was browsing through Tina's Instagram so I could show everybody how talented she is. As my phone was being passed around, one of the gals, said, "I think we have another problem." She held up my phone with a picture of Tina. "Look familiar?" she asked. "That was used in the our last campaign for that perfume company," someone answered. "Yes, and so was this one," another picture of Tina was now being displayed." "Those are pictures I took wearing a couple of designer dresses my aunt gave to me. I took them using a timer then photoshopped them. I sent them to Alex so he could critique them." Tina explained. "I'm sorry my dear, but he did more than that, he plagiarized them. I'd like you to come with me tomorrow. I'm also going to get legal involved. Probably even Rebecca." Caroline was visibly angry. "Tina, I can promise you, you will get credit for your work!" "Are all these girl gossip sessions this exciting?" I joked, "I'm sorry I missed all of this growing up, I really should have transitioned years ago!" "I'll have to admit, this one has been unique. Let's switch to what is really bothering all of us," Caroline said. "Why don't we talk about that hideous outfit that Maggie wore today. What on earth was she thinking?" Chapter 6: Relationships Contrary to my brother's teasing, he did not write a paper on my second puberty when I began hormone treatments. In fact, he was quite attentive, checking my vital signs, making sure I was maintaining my health. However, I harbored the suspicion that I was an excuse for him to visit Tina. They sit for hours talking about topics way over my head. When Tina told me she drifted through high school and had to work hard in college, she neglected to mention she is extremely smart. College was a challenge only because she had a double major in math and music, and was struggling with her dysphoria at the same time. She took the tech support job because she needed a respite and time to figure out her future. What I cannot figure out is why Michael and her seem content being just friends. I know Tina had the bad experience with Alex and Michael was dumped by his long time girlfriend from college. But that happened years ago, certainly he's over that by now. On the other hand, Matt and me can't keep our hands off each other. Although I am cognizant of the fact that some of that maybe due to my hormone induced roller coaster of emotions. Also, every time Matt sees me, there are subtle changes in my appearance, and that seems to excite him (it excites me too). Now if I can just find the thing that will trigger Tina and Michael's excitement. I am positive there are sparks there between them. Then it hits me. I start searching through my desk until I find Aunt Jenny's card. I need a matchmaker. I called Tina's aunt that evening while Tina was busy in her studio. Oh, I should mention that Tina has made a change to her career path. Alex was out as one the agency's photographers, no surprise there. Tina transferred to the art department as the newly created head of imaging (apparently the term photography has becomes pass?). Anyway, back to my chat with Aunt Jenny. I was astonished to find out that she already knew about my brother and Tina. Well, maybe not astonished, since she's also Matt's aunt. Matt had talked to her because he is concerned about his sister. I'm not sure when, because Matt never told me, but he had run into her at the coffee shop next to the Italian restaurant and she was in tears. She had been meeting with Michael over coffee (I was not aware, but they apparently do this often). Michael wants to be more than just friends, and for the first time used the word "love." She had told him she didn't feel the same way and that maybe they shouldn't be meeting anymore. I was horrified listening to this. That is just not true. I live and work with this woman and know she has feelings for my brother. Jenny continued to relay what Matt told her, that she confessed to him that she was in love with Michael and it was tearing her up inside. She has convinced herself that our little odd dynamic of brothers involved with each other's transgendered sister would wreck his medical career. That she would be shunned by the other doctors' wives. She is terrified of losing him and terrified of getting him. Jenny said she wished she could give Matt and now me some sage advice, some clever solution, but nothing was coming to her. "If this were some old Hollywood movie, there would be some, what's the movie term, 'meet cute' situation where the two of them run into each other and realize they are meant for each other," Aunt Jenny said. "That's it! Thanks!" I yelled. "What? You have an idea?" "I think I do. I'll let you know if it works." Chapter 7: The Plot As soon as I hang up I call dad. "It's next Friday night, at the Riverside Hotel," dad tells me, "Why?" "And Michael is definitely going to be there right?" I ask. "He's on the board, he bought a ticket." "Just one?" I ask hopefully. "As far as I know. Now that I think about it, your mom asked who he was bringing. He sounded a bit defensive and said no one. Why?" "Just curious." "That killed that cat you know." "What?" "Curiosity. What are you up to?" "Nothing. Can I get three tickets? "That's an odd number." "You're right. Not divisible by two." "Ok, I give up. I'll leave three tickets for you at the door in your name." "Thanks dad!" "Your welcome dear, and thank you for supporting the hospital's children's fund." Next I ran up the stairs to Matt's loft and pounded on his door. "Hey, you look out of breath, what's happening?" a confused looking Matt asked. Several minutes later, after listening to my plan, he said, "Hmmm, let me think about this. Ok, isn't Tina going to be suspicious about going to a hospital event since, you know Michael works there?" "The actual name is 'Children's Rehabilitation Project' and that's what will be on the tickets and any signs. We're ok unless Tina knows it's to build a new wing on the hospital for injured kids." "And you know these people?" "Absolutely! Some of the nicest." "Ok, if this works, I'll..." "You'll what?" I ask. "Give me time, l've got to come up with something special for you." "Oooo, I like surprises. Make it a good one." I said teasingly. When I see Tina, I tell her, because my parents are involved and because it's for sick and injured children, I got tickets to a charity event Friday night. I also told her that I volunteered her to take some publicity photos. "It should be fun, there's going to be a silent auction, some musicians from the symphony orchestra, fancy food and wine. How about it? Get to dress up in evening gowns," I tell her, and it all happens to be true (except for the taking photos part, but I'll clear that with dad because it's actually a good idea). "Ok, sounds like a good cause and I like helping your parents. Maybe we can wear a couple of Aunt Jenny's designer gowns, some of them are really vintage." "Great idea!" The day of the fund raiser, Tina and I took the afternoon off to go to a salon and get our hair and makeup done. This was not my idea. I was a nervous wreck worrying about how I'd be treated and also what some stylist would do to my hair that was finally getting longer. Since going full time, I've been navigating my safe little world of work and apartment neighborhood just fine. The fact that the salon was inside a suburban mall and way outside my comfort zone, made my anxiety even worse. After we parked the car in the mall ramp, Tina literally had to drag me from my car seat. I grabbed a hold of her hand to steady myself, took a calming breath, and started walking towards the mall entrance, still holding Tina's hand. When we were at the entrance, Tina smiled at me and said, "Everything is going to be ok. I've come here many times. No one is going to care or notice that we're trans. Though we might get a few looks if we keep holding hands, and we're not even lesbians. And no one would really care about that either. So, let's go and enjoy ourselves, ok?" Tina was absolutely right. Everyone wandering around the mall was going about their own business, most of them staring at their phones as if in a trance. The gals at the salon were fantastic. My stylist, who I just adored, kept my length while shaping and adding highlights. I was really thrilled with my makeover. I never realized how much more feminine my face had become after seeing it with my eyebrows properly shaped and the right cosmetics. Later, as we were donning the gowns we'd picked out, I was so excited I almost forgot why we were going in the first place. Seeing Tina in her blue Dior dress, I almost blurted out "Michael is going to love it." I caught myself at the last second, and simply said, "Oh Tina, you're beautiful." "Thank you, I feel pretty happy too. I'm glad we're doing this," she said, adding, "you look amazing too, Matt is going to be speechless when he sees you." Matt was speechless when he arrived at our door. I was also speechless looking at how handsome he was in his tux. "Ok, stop staring you two, I've got my camera, let's go," said Tina as she pushed us out of the apartment door. Dad had been his efficient self and my three tickets were waiting for us at the reception table. I immediately started scanning the room for the people I had on a mental list I'd made when I hatched this plan. Matt was also scanning the room for Michael. It was Matt's job to keep him away from Tina until she and I were done taking our fake publicity photos. The first person I spotted was Dr. Bernice Albertson. I steered Tina towards her. I had met Bernice and the other people on my list at a dinner party hosted by my parents shorty after I went full time. "Hi Dr. Albertson, I don't know if you remember me, I'm Susie, we met at my parents' house..." "Of course I remember! Wow, you look absolutely lovely this evening. So I trust your transition is proceeding nicely?" "Yes, thank you. This is my boyfriend Matt. And this is his sister Tina, who is also my roommate and work colleague." "Nice to meet you both. Tina? I remember Susie telling all of us about you and how lucky she was to find you. I have nothing but admiration for you and Susie. You are both such remarkable young women." "Thank you so much, would you mind if I took a publicity photo?" Tina asked. "Of course not!" "Can we get one with both you and your wife?" I ask. "Sure. Leslie! Can you come over?" Bernice called out to a nearby woman. "You remember Susie. They'd like a photo of us for publicity." After taking a few picture, Leslie and Tina chat for a bit while Matt and I chat with Bernice. Ok, one couple down. Next I spot Dr. Benoit and wave to him. He and his husband Jacques wander over. "Hi Maurice, enjoying the evening?" I ask. "We certainly are. Excellent turnout, we should be really strengthening the fund. By the way, I'd be remiss if I don't point out that you look prettier every time I see you." After introducing Matt and Tina to Maurice, an old family friend who has known me since childhood, Tina takes several more photos and chats with him and Jacques, Bernice and Leslie. For the next thirty minutes we wander the room meeting more people on my list and their spouse and partners. Matt has been monitoring my brother who is handling the silent auction in an adjacent room. So far so good. For as smart as Tina is, she has taken her job as photographer seriously enough that she hasn't realized that she's been meeting all of Michael's friends and colleagues. When dinner is about to be served, I grab Maurice and head for an open table along with Tina and send Matt to get my brother. Since Maurice is head of Michael's department, most of his colleagues follow and join us. I wish I could describe the looks on Tina and Michael's faces. I wish I had grabbed the camera and taken a picture. It would have been priceless. I then whisper something to Maurice that puts a huge, playful grin on his face. "Michael, come sit here next to this charming young lady who I understand is your sister's roommate. She's been a delight, but you probably already know that." "I certainly do Maurice, and I'm glad she's got to meet all of you. And since I am in love with her, I hope you all get to know what a beautiful and talented woman she is." Tina is crying so hard, her mascara is running down her cheeks, so I hand Michael a tissue. He gently drabs her tears and kisses her. Matt starts clinking his glass with a knife. Then the others at our table do the same. Michael smiles and gives Tina a longer kiss. Next the whole room joins in forcing the couple to finally stand up and kiss passionately for nearly a minute. Matt gives me a high five and kisses me too. On the far side of the room mom and dad are hugging. I'm pretty sure dad has figured out what I was up to. Now if anyone thinks that since my plan has worked and that Matt is going to surprise me in front of all of these people by getting on one knee and proposing. You would be wrong. He waited until we got back to his loft apartment where he had a bottle of champagne chilling and a bouquet of roses waiting next to a turned down bed with a diamond ring on a pillow. He had faith in me. I have faith us, so I of course said, "Yes."