Denial The Conclusion
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Apology (Conclusion) free porn video
Apology (Conclusion)
by Charlee White
Jake, please forgive me. i'm sorry that i disappointed you. i'm sorry
that i embarrassed you in front of your guest.
* * *
Jake introduced me to his friend. "Baby, this is Thomas. We've known each
other for a few months."
People are almost always polite when they meet me. More often than not,
they even take the time to compliment me by pointing out to Jake how
lucky he is to have such a pretty girlfriend.
But after a moment or two, much longer than it used to take, their
expressions change ever so slightly when they realize that i'm not really
a girl. That sometimes makes them a little uncomfortable - maybe because
they're afraid that they might inadvertently do or say something that
might offend me.
To put them at ease, i make a point of femming up my mannerisms, and they
eventually relax and accept me as just Jake's trans girlfriend.
With Thomas, we skipped that whole 'is she a girl or a boy thing' because
he could already see my tiny clit peaking out from below the ridiculously
short lingerie skirt i was wearing.
When i meet people who knew me before I embraced my emasculated lifestyle
to please Jake, another bitingly humiliating step follows - the moment
when they recognize me and realize that the sturdy young man they once
knew has transformed into a vulnerable little girl.
"We went to college together," Thomas said cheerfully. "Didn't we?"
* * *
Jake, i still agonize over the loss of my masculinity, but i have come to
cherish the role that you have chosen for me. i know that i will forever
be your sweet little whore. The anguish that i endure every moment of
every day from embracing a lifestyle that conflicts with my natural
gender pales in comparison to the moments of ecstasy that i experience
when your enormous dick invades my tight pussy or when i taste your sweet
seed.
i am flawed, and i recognize that you manipulate my flaws for your own
gratification, but i will never change. i have an unquenchable and almost
primal need to experience the powerlessness that comes from being
sexually used by a Man.
i can't remember, not even once, masturbating while fantasizing about
being with someone who treated me as an equal or cared about my sexual
satisfaction.
Before meeting you, i would imagine being held prisoner in a small cage
by a Master who only releases me when he wants to fuck. In this daydream,
he keeps me from playing with myself by securing my small dick in an even
tinier stainless steel chastity device that is held rigidly in place by a
metal bar that passes through a piercing through the head of my penis.
Sometimes, i even fantasized that the chastity cage had tiny spikes on
the inside to remind me that only one cock - his, not mine - mattered.
Jake, being with you is nothing like the life of sexual slavery that i
dreamed of.
Being with you is infinitely more fulfilling than i anything that i ever
could have imagined.
You have crafted a prison that confines me more securely than any cage
ever could. Your control over me is absolute and beyond just the
physical. You have taken possession of not only my body but also my mind
and my soul in ways that consume every facet of my life.
Instead of shackling me in chains, you have made me a prisoner of a
sexual identity that goes against my nature.
i live every hour of every day in a prison made of off-the-shoulder
blouses and plaid, school girl mini skirts. Instead of emasculating me
with a chastity cage, you have emotionally neutered me by reimagining my
already insignificant penis as a clitoris.
* * *
Finding humor in pointing out the obvious, Thomas remarked, "You've
changed a bit since college."
"Maybe more than a bit," i confessed shyly. "Jake likes seeing me to look
this way. He chooses everything that i wear."
"He does a great job. You're really sexy," Thomas complimented while
flashing a big, friendly, and slightly seductive, smile. "I love the tiny
bra and the peek-a-boo skirt, and I'm always a sucker for high heels."
While Jake casually groped the handsome African American's ass, Thomas
continued, "Jake, you're just full of surprises. I never would have taken
you for a connoisseur of women's fashion."
"Jake knows what he likes," i offered. "Now that he's dressing me, my
wardrobe consists almost entirely of lingerie."
Thomas laughed politely at what he thought was a joke.
i glanced at Jake. He was visibly pleased with my attempt to break the
ice and show Thomas that i was okay with a fuck buddy turning up in our
living room.
"Right from the moment when I first saw her," Jake said. "I knew that she
had a delicate and irresistibly sexy little girl hiding beneath her rough
tomboy exterior."
Jake broke away from Thomas for a moment, took me in his arms, and kissed
me lovingly on the lips. Then he added, "She resisted my attempts to
feminize her at first, but, as you can see, persistence pays off."
"She's really cute, and you didn't exaggerate. She has tiniest dick that
I've never seen," Thomas teased. "And I love her cleanly shaved bush."
"She does have one sexy little clit," Jake said proudly. Then, speaking
to me, he added, "It's perfect. Isn't it, baby?"
Trying to sound friendly and casual, i smiled seductively with my eyes
and playfully asked, "If it's already so perfect, why do you keep
suggesting things that i can do things to make it even smaller?"
Ignoring what i had just said, Thomas spoke to Jake, "Mind if I lift her
skirt out of the way to get a better look?"
By addressing his request to Jake, Thomas showed that he understood that
my opinion, even in matters that involved my body, did not matter. Maybe
Jake had revealed some of the more intimate details of our relationship,
or maybe it was the absurd sight of the scrappy little athlete that
Thomas knew from college struggling to keep her clit from peaking out
from beneath the hem of a comically short lingerie skirt, i couldn't be
sure which. But either way, Thomas had gotten the idea that my purpose in
Jake's home was to be primarily ornamental.
"Sure, go ahead," Jake offered cordially. "She won't mind."
i politely stepped closer to Thomas, who reached beneath my skirt.
"You're hard as a rock," Thomas observed, smiling. "You like showing off
your tiny little dicklet. Don't you, girl?"
Gently fondling my private parts with his fingers, Thomas further
scrutinized the delicate nature of my clit. It took every bit of
willpower that i could muster to keep myself from embarrassing Jake by
climaxing into Thomas' hand.
Thomas then turned his attention to Jake, "We should get busy. If I get
home too late, my girlfriend starts asking questions."
After pausing a mere second for Jake to nod his agreement, Thomas dropped
to his knees and frantically unzipped the Jake's fly. A moment later, the
dick that usually fucks me was hidden deep inside the handsome and young
black man's mouth.
Jake allowed himself to be serviced in this way for less than a minute
before grasping Thomas by the shoulders and pulling upward to indicate
his desire for Thomas to stand.
"I brought you home to fuck you," Jake said seductively. "Let's do this
in the bedroom."
Before moving on, Thomas compassionately took a moment to reassure me,
"Don't worry, honey, this is just sex. Jake's told me a lot about the two
of you. I'll never be a threat to what the two of you have."
Thomas took me in his strong arms and kissed me on the lips. Then, after
flashing a wide and friendly smile, he added, "And even though getting
laid by Jake is a life-altering experience, I just don't see myself
wearing the lingerie."
i didn't bother to tell Thomas that i once believed the same thing about
myself.
"And maybe someday you can even join us if it's okay with Jake," Thomas
continued. Then, gently needling Jake, he added, "It would be nice to
have someone in bed who cared enough to suck my dick."
Jake spoke up to defend himself, "Your girlfriend's can do that when you
get home."
* * *
Jake, i understand that you are the only person who matters in our
pairing, and that i am nothing more than your sexual toy, and i accept
that no matter who you choose to fuck, i should feel nothing more than
the joy that comes from knowing that your needs are being satisfied.
And i have no reason to complain. i rarely go though a day without
experiencing the bliss that comes from being the object of your lustful
attention.
But it still hurt to see you with Thomas.
That very morning, you woke up with a raging hard on. You kissed me more
passionately than you do at the start of most days before grasping the
back of my head and nudging me toward your groin to signal your desire
for oral sex.
Wearing a white, cropped, see-through baby doll top with a sexy lace hem
that hung just low enough to cover my nipples that i paired with matching
bikini panties, i shifted to the foot of our bed and kissed your seed-
filled balls. Then i traced my tongue along the underside of your solid
erection.
Jake, i can read your moods, and i knew right away that you weren't
looking for a tender session of erotic foreplay. You just wanted to cum
in my mouth, and i was, as always, more than happy to serve you in this
way.
i took your long shaft deep into my throat and commenced an intense
boobing and sucking action that i knew would quickly drive you to sexual
peak. A minute or so later, you rewarded my efforts by ejaculating a load
of hot sperm into my mouth. Making sure to swallow every drop, i held my
lips tightly around your still-firm penis until the last spasm of your
orgasm subsided.
Sometimes, rough, quick sex is the most thrilling.
Afterward, while you lay in bed luxuriating in your post-climax bliss, i
cuddled up next to you with my head resting on your strong shoulder. You
kissed me tenderly while gently tracing the outline of my nipple with
your index finger. Hoping that you would take notice of the urgency of my
own sexual arousal, i shamelessly pressed my erect, but still
insignificant, clit against the side of your naked body.
It had been a quite a while since you had given me permission to finger
myself to release.
* * *
They didn't bother to close the bedroom door.
Even with all the lights inside the house turned off, I could clearly
make out what the men were doing in the next room. Unsure what to do with
myself and not wanting to unintentionally spoil Jake's fun, i reclined in
a comfortable chair in the living room and waited quietly.
Seeing the man that i adore and depend on for every good thing in my life
making love to someone else reduced me to a level of despair that i
cannot possibly describe, but, at the same time, i could not look away.
* * *
In bed that morning, you asked me if I had given any more thought to the
thing we had been discussing.
Knowing exactly what you meant by the 'thing we had been discussing,' i
replied honestly, "Since the moment that you first suggested that i start
taking feminizing hormones, i haven't been able to think of anything
else."
"And what have you decided?" you prodded. "It's time to move into this
next phase of your transformation. Isn't it?"
Then, looking into my eyes affectionately, you urged me further, "Are you
ready to do this for me? Are you ready to do this for us?"
"It scares me," i confessed. "it's a big step, and not one that i can
ever undo."
"Baby, that's what commitment is all about," you reminded me.
"It's time for you to prove that you take your vow to be obedient to me
in all matters seriously. I need to know that your promises are more than
just role-play that you can undo at any time by simply changing your
clothing and cutting your hair."
Sensing my unease, you kissed me tenderly and assured me that everything
would be fine.
"Baby, don't be afraid," you assured me. "I know that right now, I want
this more than you do, but the hormones start to change your body, you'll
understand that this is right the time for us to do this."
Reaching behind me to erotically finger my pussy, you said, "Think about
how sexy you'll be with perky little tits. You won't have to cover up
your chest with a cute top to look feminine for me."
You kissed me passionately then whispered, "I'm already fantasizing about
how exciting it's going to be to see your tiny breasts jiggle when you
ride me."
Gently caressing your cock with my fingers, i made an observation,
"You're already hard again."
"I know that some of the changes to your body frighten you," you went on
soothingly. "Especially because there's no turning back. But every day
will be like a honeymoon. Our every love-making will be a celebration of
the subtle changes that your body is going through.
Then, in a voice so imbued with lust that i immediately knew that you
were going to fuck me at least one more time before letting me out of
bed, you added, "Just think how irresistible you'll be when your balls
start to shrink and your penis gets even smaller than it is now."
* * *
Their sex was athletic, and, not surprisingly, one-sided in Jake's favor.
As far as i could tell, Thomas learned everything that he knows about gay
sex from watching porn, and he played the role of a cock-hungry power-
bottom impeccably. Standing, with Thomas bent over the bed to steady
himself, the pair started with Jake pounding his large dick doggy-style
into Thomas' hole.
After a few minutes, Jake shifted position and laid on his back on top of
the mattress. With one knee on either side of Jake's hips, Thomas rode
Jake facing down toward Jake's legs rather than of looking into his eyes.
i could clearly make out the outlines of Thomas' muscular chest, his
ripped abdomen, and his ever so perfect penis. He was enormous, larger
even than Jake. i couldn't help but to envy his girlfriend.
On that night, however, the only thing that Thomas did with that big cock
was to wank it while delighting in the carnal stimulation of Jake's rock-
hard shaft plunging into and out of his body.
* * *
i know that it wasn't what you wanted to hear, but after you fucked me
that morning, i pleaded with you to give me a little more time before
beginning the hormone therapy that would forever erase the few and almost
imperceptible reminders of my former masculinity.
Graciously, you assured me that i could take all the time that i needed.
We really didn't talk much more that day until you called me from the
club to tell me that you were bringing Thomas home.
* * *
Alone on the couch, i reached down, moved my scarlet skirt out of the
way, and lightly brushed the tip of my perfectly polished fingernail
against the underside of my excited clit.
'i will never again be a man like Thomas. i've crossed too many lines,
and it's too late for me to go back to the way i used to be,' i thought
wistfully. 'And Jake would never let me go back, anyway. To tell the
truth, i can't even imagine living without the constant humiliation of
emasculated slavery.'
Before surrendering to Jake, my personal goals revolved around being
successful in sports and preparing myself for a career in business. Now,
i am forcing myself to accept the concept that going forward my true
value will be measured by the amount that i can get my already
insignificant penis to wither in response to feminizing drugs.
And, even though Jake hasn't shared this little secret with me, i know
that he looks forward to the day when the hormones make it impossible for
me to maintain an erection. Yes, somewhere along the way, impotence had
become another important item on my to do list. If i know Jake, he'll
celebrate that little milestone by savagely fucking his limp little
plaything every morning and every night for weeks, maybe months.
But at that moment - and i know that real men like Jake will never
understand why i feel this way - the vision of my emasculated future did
not upset me at all. Instead, the idea of losing the fragments of what
remained of my manhood thrilled me. Reclining in the chair while Jake
made love to another man in the next room, i wanted nothing more than to
blossom into the feminized pussy that Jake wants me to be.
'i have become the cock-sucking whore that i always knew i was meant to
be,' i thought excitedly. 'i've spent my whole life fantasizing about
surrendering to a Man who ensnares me in his inescapable web of
domination, and now this twisted dream has now become my reality.'
i didn't choose emasculation, but i understood and accepted that deep
down i instinctively craved this most severe form of subjugation. By
accepting the path that Jake laid out for me, i proved that i was never
really worthy to be a man in the first place.
i had become the pussy, faggot, cum dump that i was always meant to be,
and that realization thrilled me.
i shut my eyes and touched myself. It didn't take much for my sexual
arousal to overwhelm me. The gentle sweep of my finger against the tip of
my shaft was enough. For the first time in years, i let my juices flow
without first receiving Jake's permission.
The knowledge that climaxing like a man, one of the last vestigial
expressions of my vanishing masculinity, would soon be taken away from me
only magnified the intensity of my orgasm. Unable to control myself and
whimpering audibly, i shivered in sexual rapture.
It took quite a while to recover from the paralyzing effect of my
unplanned orgasm.
And when i opened my eyes i was greeted by two perfectly toned physiques
peering down from the side of my chair.
"What are you doing, baby?" Jake inquired. He did not looked pleased.
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