Waxing Into A New Me Part 1 free porn video

Waxing into a New Me part 1 By: Ms. Jenny Ann I wrote this story and it may not be sold. It may be downloaded or shared at free sites only. It starts with a real statement; however, it becomes the life I wish I had after the first page. Comments or ideas may be sent to: [email protected]. Jane said, "What did you do? You look more like a woman than a man." James: however, most of the time he used Jimmy, had just taken his clothes off and he could clearly see his manhood, cock and balls hanging between my legs. I replied, "I was tired of having to shave my face and Shannon had told me about waxing, so I tried waxing my face and although it was painful I really liked how smooth my face felt and I liked the way it looked without hair. After the pain, the look and smoothness made me feel pleasure. So, I kept finding new areas to remove my hair and before I knew it, I had done my hands, arms, body and legs. I think that a smooth and hairless body is sexy." She said, "well, I don't find your lack of hair appealing, in fact it is quite a turn off for me." I said, "I had hoped that we could share this new body of mine, it really does turn me on as you can tell by the hard on I have, so, do you want to do it or wait till my hair grows back to have sex?" She said, "we can do it but, I still think that it does make you look like a woman." We had sex and I could tell that Jane was still not pleased with my new look and did not want to look at me until I had put my clothes back on. I had waxed myself on Saturday night and today was Sunday. I am sure that she was glad that she would not have to look at me and my hairless body, until next Friday night when we were to go out again. I dropped her off and drove back to the apartment that I shared with my best friend Scott (read my story Friday Night for background) and his girlfriend Shannon. I told Shannon about how bad Jane had reacted to my hairless state. She said, "I never meant for you to wax your whole body, just to try it on your face." I said, "it just happened and at the time, I did not realize that I was doing it. It is like whatever turns me on she does not like. She keeps telling me I need to stop and change, in order to be more like the man, she wants." I said, "goodnight," to Scott and Shannon." I went to my bedroom and got ready for bed. It was warm so I like to sleep in the nude. I took my clothes off and could not help it I had to admire myself in the mirror, I felt so sexy. I really did like my new look and I began to stroke my cock, it grew hard and I felt the pleasure as I shot my load. I thought to myself, it should not be wrong, when it makes me feel so, good. I had to sleep, had to work in the morning. Morning came and I was off to work. I stopped at a Zip mart for a cup of coffee and realized that I needed some smokes and was about to ask for a pack of my normal brand, when the clerk said, "anything else Miss?" I thought, he thinks I am a woman, I was about to tell him he was wrong when I remembered what Jane had said and decided that she was right, I did look like a woman. So, I said, "a pack of Eve menthol 120, please." I paid and left with anew found calm, I did not have to correct people when they thought that I was a woman, I could accept the gender that they assigned to me and be a woman while I was interacting with them. When I arrived at work I went to my roller and was checking it out when Judy the woman that worked with me said, "good morning, Jamie how was your weekend?" "I'll tell you about it once we get to the spot where we will be working, too much to tell," I said. We got our machines ready for the day's job and went to the spot where we had left off Friday. Tom was busy using the blade of the motor grader and Judy and I had some free time so, I said, "Jane and I have had a disagreement over something I did and I don't think that it will resolve itself in the way that Jane would like and that we might not be together much longer." Judy said, "I am sorry to hear that. What happened?" I told her about my wax job and that Jane had said, "you look more like a woman than a man." "Well, I could see why she might feel that way," she said, "only when a woman asks a man to become hairless for her, you know like for role playing in the bedroom, then she might like it." I lit one of my new cigarettes, the Eve 120 and heard Judy ask, "when did you start smoking Eve 120?" I said, "when the clerk at the Zip mart asked me, 'anything else, Miss?' I realized that Jane was right, he thought that I was a woman, so I told him I wanted to buy the Eve menthol 120, because it is a brand that mostly women buy, I accepted the gender that he believed me to be and while I was interacting with him I would respect his belief and be a woman. The thing that really surprised me, was I liked it." Judy said, "it did not upset you when he thought you were a woman and the rest of the time in the store you acted like a woman. I can see why this could be a problem for Jane and yourself." "Yes," I said, "Jane does not like my hairless state of being, however, I really like the look and the feel, it is a turn on for me and I feel sexier. I had hoped that Jane could get into it, but no way and I know that I will grow my hair out and remove it as soon as I can, I prefer being smooth and hairless." Judy said, "Tom is ready for us to start working, so, we will continue this conversation later." We were hard at work as the road work for today was about a mile and we did not finish till lunch. The conversation would have to wait, it would not be good if the guys overheard, they were quite the macho type. After lunch we had some down time and Judy was ready for some more information and was quick to resume our talk. She said, "there is more to this than just your hairlessness, I know that the guys think that you are a long-haired hippie, but I have known that it is more of a disguise. I have seen the left-over make-up at times, oh, you got most of it off, just a little bit of mascara or some trace of nail polish, now you tell me that you just decided to accept being called a woman, because, others may think that you are a woman. No, I think that you have been trying to get to this choice for some time and you are just now feeling brave enough to admit to yourself that you like being thought of as a woman." "You could see left over traces of make-up or nail polish and you did not say anything. Well, I guess I should thank-you for not outing me to the guys. You are right, I have been dressing up as a woman for some time, years but I have never felt brave enough to leave the privacy of the bedroom. However, I have been trying to become more feminine with my appearance, if I look like a woman and I am not dressed as a woman, yet others think that I am a woman I am just about ready to try it. I just have one thing that is keeping me from doing it, my breasts are way to small and I have no assurance that I could do it for more than just a few minutes." Judy said, "the answer is really quite simple, you just have to grow a pair of breasts." "Simple you say, I don't know how to grow my breasts," I said. She said, "all you have to do is start taking female hormones, you know estrogen and you will start to grow breasts as well as have other feminine changes to your body." "I don't know a Doctor that will prescribe estrogen to me," I said. She said, "I 'm sure that my gynecologist would do it for you, she would like nothing better than turning a man into a woman. Her fianc? left her after she helped him get through college, so she does not like men that much. I'll ask her after work and let you know tomorrow morning." "Well, I guess I need to say thank-you, not only for your help with the Doctor; but also, for your understanding, "I said. I lit a cigarette and was enjoying the way things have seemed to be going right. It was quitting time before I knew it, time seemed to go by very quickly. I drove home and decided to buy some more of these cigarettes, I really like the flavor and I felt more feminine when I smoked them. I was in luck the little shop near where I lived had them on sale, buy 2 and get 1 free, I bought 4 and got 2 free. I was tried, so, a quick dinner and shower and I was off to bed. Sleep did not come as fast as I had hoped and after lying in bed hoping for sleep I got up and decided to do a little bit of dress-up, I always fell asleep quickly after I did that. I was not going for the full effect, so mascara, eyeshadow, eyeliner for the lower lids, blush and some nice bright red lipstick. I put on a bra and filled the cups with 2 hand sized water filled balloons, I like the way they would bounce. I slipped on a teddy then tucking my cock between my thighs I slid the panties that matched to hold it in place. As an afterthought I did my toenails with the bright red nail polish, but I did my fingernails with a clear polish as I did not want to remove it. I slipped a pair of 3 ? inch high heels, they were a snug fit without pantyhose, however, I did not have any right now. I lit a cigarette and walked to the full-length mirror, swaying my hips and watching the bounce of my water balloon tits. I pulled my Eve menthol 120 cigarette from my lips and saw the lipstick on the filter and was completely hard I pulled my cock out of its hiding spot and quickly climaxed. Still shaking and breathing hard I sat down on the bed and finished my smoke. I did not know it at the time, but that would turn out to be the last time I would be able to have an erection and shoot a load of cum. My morning routine and the drive to work was a blur, all that I could think about was what was Judy going to tell me, would her Doctor help me. I was almost to work when I investigated the mirror and realized I did not wash the make-up off my face, I should have seen the lipstick on the cigarette filter, the only reason why I did not see myself with my face still with make-up was it looked normal to me. I stopped and cleaned my face with a face wipe that I had in the glove box, however, it was too strong to use on the mascara and my eyelashes had the full effect as well as the lower eyeliner, I hope it was not too much. I saw Judy at her machine and said, "good morning, Judy is the news good or bad?" Judy said, "my Doctor will help, and you have to see her after work, I'll go with you. I like your eyeliner and mascara and you did your fingernails too." I said, "I used a bright red on my toenails and I left it on, I forgot to remove my make-up at home and this was as clean a job as I could do, I still have a slight trace of lipstick." Judy said, "don't worry you look good." We did not have a lot to say and just kept to doing our jobs and the day went by quickly. After we parked our equipment and got into my car I said, "I have no idea where your Doctor's office is which way." Judy said, "go left at the end of the road and left at the stoplight and go 3 miles to the hospital and her office is across the street with the other group of Doctors' offices." Judy introduced me to her Doctor, "this is Jamie, and this is Doctor Lewis," she said. "First thing," Doctor Lewis said, "you need to fill out this medical history and consent to treat. This is a non-charged office visit, after I examine you and if we can agree on a treatment plan, we can discuss the fees for the next visits. Go to exam room #1, disrobe and put the gown on and I will be right in." I did as she requested and sat on the exam bed in-between the stirrups. Doctor Lewis entered the exam room and said, "Judy says that you would like to have a prescription for estrogen in order to start growing breasts, is that right?" She had me take the gown off and I said, "that's right, I have been trying for quite a while to femininize myself and I keep coming up with the reason I have not begun to live as a woman is my lack of breasts." She looked at me and gave my chest closer inspection and said, "if you really want to have breasts, then I will help you, however, it will require testicular removal today, at no cost to you. It's balls for boobs so if you still want breasts then place your legs on the stirrups, now." I was at the crossroads, I had to choose and do it right now. I had no choice and I could feel my legs raising it was if they had a mind of their own, I wanted breasts and if this ends up being my cost then I would pay. She gave me a shot, a local and shaved the hair away from the place she was going to cut me and remove my balls, I said, "I really want breasts, however, I would like a nice pair of breasts and if I end up with small boobs then it won't seem like a good trade." She replied, "OK, I see your point, you should grow a nice pair, more than likely a C-cup, if you don't get that big I will arrange for breasts augmentation and at no cost to you." "In that case, it's balls for boobs, I'm ready," I said. Moments later I had no balls and the last hard-on, the last time I would shoot my load was indeed last night. I was glad that I had decided to get my rocks off last night! She said, "all done with that, I'll get you a double shot of estrogen to jump start your breasts growth." I said, "I did not feel anything." She said, "you will feel it when the local wears off, however I will you give some pills for tonight and in the morning, you should have no trouble working. I will write you a prescription for estrogen and want to see you in a month." I said, "isn't there a medical condition that can cause males to develop breasts like females I don't know the name. I might need to say I have that condition when I start to show my growing breasts, if not I could lose my job." She said, "you are right they might fire you, so if they say anything to you about your breast development, tell them to call me and I will say you have gynecomastia that is the name of the condition." I got off the exam bed and dressed and she handed me the prescription and pills for pain. I met up with Judy and we left the Doctor's office and I started to drive her home after she gave me directions. On the way she said, "you look like you just found out your best friend died." I said, "in a way you are right, Doctor Lewis informed me that she would only help me if I agreed to her terms. Balls for boobs. She gave me a double shot of estrogen to jump start my breast growth a prescription for estrogen and wants to see me in a month, oh and some pills for pain." She said, "I didn't know about that, you don't have balls anymore." "You did say she would jump at the chance to help turn a man to a woman and with what she did I will never have sex as a man, all I can use it for is to pee," I said. I dropped Judy off and made my way home. I started to feel some pain, so I took the nighttime pain pill and was out like a light. I woke in the morning to slight pain and took the other pain pill and got ready for work. I wonder how I would break the news to Jane, I wanted to come up with a story that would cover no sex and growing breasts. It was Wednesday 2 days until our date night, I hope I could come up with a good cover story by then, I could ask Judy if she had any ideas. After I washed my face, I decided to reapply my mascara and eyeliner for my lower lid, I wore it yesterday and nobody said anything about it except Judy and her comments were positive. I stopped on the way to work at the Zip mart, I wanted to see the nice clerk again. I got a cup of coffee and on my way to check-out, I stop to look at the small make-up section and picked up a tube of lipstick it was called 'It's Your Mauve'. I placed my coffee and lipstick on the counter, and he said, "will that be all today, Miss?" "Yes, thank-you for asking," I said. I drove the rest of the way to work and was eager to talk to Judy. I got out of my car and saw that Judy's boyfriend almost yelling at her and when he turned to me as I approached he started in on me, "you need to stay away from Judy, she disappeared last night and I find out she was with you and won't tell me what you two did." I said, "hold on Dan, Judy was helping me with a problem and went with me to her Doctor's office she was only helping out a friend. She is more like a big sister to me; you have nothing to worry about." Dan said, "then why would she not tell me what, where or why she had to help you." I said, "Judy, you did not say anything." She said, "I did not think it was my place to tell, it was your problem." I could tell Dan was still upset and my nipples were beginning to hurt, I was going to have to bring it out and I just it would be like ripping a bandage off, best done quickly. I said, "I do not want you to think that we did anything wrong, I noticed that my nipples were hurting and swollen and she thought it would be best if I went to her Doctor's office to find out what was going on with me. I found out I have gynecomastia a condition that is causing a hormonal imbalance and I am producing the female hormone estrogen and I will start to develop secondary sex characteristics, in other words; my body is trying to change what it can into a woman's body, I know my breasts are starting to develop, I don't know what other changes will occur, but it seems that I will have breasts. Now do see why Judy did not want to say anything. If you could keep quiet about this, I would really appreciate it." Dan said, "dude, I'm sorry to hear that, I've heard about that and it's rare and nothing can be done to stop it. Don't worry I won't tell." He turned to leave, and he did seem to have calmed down. Judy said, "you did not have to say anything, he would have calmed down later." I said, "I was going to have to put that story out there and if he tells the others, they won't be so surprised when I start wearing a training bra, speaking of that can you help me out, my nipples are starting to hurt and I don't know how soon I should start wearing one, nor what size to get, I really could use a big sister." "Big sister, I like that I'll tell Dan I need to help you buy your first training bra and he will be so shocked he won't be a problem," she said. "OK, now for some help with a cover story for Jane on why I am not able to have sex," I said. She said, "let's go down the road and we can think on the way." We got to where Tom was working and had some time to wait. I said, "what do you think about this color of lipstick?" 'It's a nice color and should look good on you. About the other problem you could say you have a urinary tract infection and cannot have sex until it is cleared up, "she said. "I can sell that, I'm sure she would not want to risk an infection and I'm allergic to penicillin and it could take quite some time to find the right antibacterial," I said. Tom had done a lot of work to the sub-grade and there were 2 rows of excess dirt that Dan was picking up with the pan he operated, Judy waved him over and after she spoke to him, he looked at me and shook his head and got back on his pan and went back picking up the dirt. Judy came over to me and said, "it's all set, he knows I'll be helping you with your first training bra, I told him he was welcome to come and that's when he shook his head when he looked at you." Tom had finished and we started the project for today, Before I knew it, lunch break then quitting time. We drove our equipment back to the yard and we got into my car, but before I could turn the key Judy said, "put that lipstick on I want to see how it looks on you." I applied the lipstick and said, "I really like this color." Then we were headed to the Mall, I knew my way to the Mall, and I got us there and parked the car. We entered directly into the Sears and straight to the lady's undergarments, not being sure of my size Judy said to the salesgirl, "Jamie is a late bloomer and is here for her first training bra and she needs to know what size to get." "No problem let me get my tape and we will have your size," she said. She came right back measured me and said, "34 AAA, you will find them over to the left." I thanked her and Judy and I went to get my first training bra, they were basic white with padded cups to shape and add a size, so I appeared a little larger than I truly was, but I liked them anyway. I kept one on and paid and we were on the way out I asked if Judy would like to get something at the food court, my treat for her help. She said, "good idea, didn't want to cook tonight." After dinner I asked Judy, "may I use your compact, I need to freshen my lipstick, please and thank-you," She handed it to me, and I applied lipstick to my lips and Judy said, "I can tell you really have worn lipstick before, you are as good at applying lipstick as any woman." I thanked her for the complement, and we were off to the car and on our way. I dropped her off and marveled at how easy I found being a woman was for me I really did not have to try as hard as when I tried to be a man. I drove home and I was in bed and fast asleep. When I woke up, I felt the morning call of nature and I headed to the bathroom and on the way, I could feel that there was a difference in the weight that I had felt between my legs. I checked the area and I was right, I did not have any balls, and it was then that I remembered that they had been removed. It was the result of the trade I made with Doctor Lewis, she would only help me if I let her remove them, balls for boobs. At least I had started on the estrogen and I was starting to grow breasts, my nipples were very sore, and they had begun to swell. I reached down to grab my cock and noticed that it was smaller, I decided that it would be better if I started to sit down when using the toilet it is the way women use it and I no longer was a whole man, so I should get used to sitting down when using the toilet. I finished my toilet business washed my hands and face, then I redid my eye make-up, I had decided that I would wear mascara and eyeliner on lower eye lid, after all I would be wearing a training bra. I dressed for work and I had on my new training bra, and I was sure that it would be noticed at work, I had to talk to the foreman before work. I left for work and went to the Caf? near the job I knew that was where I would find Bob, the foreman. I got a cup of coffee and the waitress noticed the outline from the bra under my shirt, and let me know, very discreetly. I went over to the table where Bob was sitting and said, "Mr. Jackson, as you can see, I have a problem, I have gynecomastia a medical condition and I will be developing breasts, I found out yesterday after work. I went with Judy and saw her Doctor." "Well, you are not the first guy to have this gynecomastia, I had a cousin that had the same thing years ago," Bob said, "I will need to verify this with your Doctor." I gave him Doctor Lewis's card for her information, and said, "I used the name Jamie." Bob said, "that cousin ended up with a B-cup and he decided that it would cost too much have them removed and he still wears a bra, so that's something you might think about. Just start work as normal and when I get confirmation I will let you know, I'll tell the guys not to give you a hard time about this, it will be hard enough for you and it's not your fault, Doctors don't know why it happens just that it does and there is nothing you can do but wait till your body is finished with the changes that it wants to do." I went to work and was quite relieved that Bob had known about gynecomastia and that he seemed to expect me to have my breasts for at least as long as this job was due to last and that would be another 18 months. I parked my car and went to service my roller. Judy showed up and I told her what Bob had said. I said, "I think that once Bob talks to Doctor Lewis, and she confirms my gynecomastia, the story that we have agreed upon. He expects me to wear a bra as my breasts get larger and would not think less of me for having them." Judy said, "it sounds like that is what he means, he did know about gynecomastia." We drove to the job site for today and started to work. Bob showed up at 10 and said, "you're good, Doctor Lewis confirmed your condition and I will not have anyone that works here be rude to you, keep up the good work." Bob left and I turned to Judy and said, "well the story seems to be working and I should not have a bad time at work about it. If the story for Jane works as well, I won't have worry about having sex; I just hope that she buys both stories." The rest of the day went by quickly and I drove home stopping to call Jane, I told her about the urinary tract infection and sex was not advisable until it was cleared up. I thought that it might be best to rest in bed this weekend and hope it helps with beating the infection, we will go out next Friday. She agreed. As I drifted off to sleep, I reflected on the events of the day things are working out well, even better than expected. I could envision the problem that was going to manifest when Jane would observe my developing breasts. I awoke in the morning, and I thought the answer had been planted in my brain during the night, and it was so simple. I would need to call Doctor Lewis during lunch, she had helped me with the cover story at work and if I asked her to help me with Jane, I was sure that she would be just as helpful. After I got myself ready for work, I happened to see Scott and Shannon, they were at the kitchen table having coffee and smoking. It was the 1st time since I had waxed and started wearing a bra. I got a cup of coffee and lit an Eve menthol 120 and sat down. Shannon said, "your face looks so much better, smooth and hair free. Are you wearing a bra?" I said, "I have a medical condition called gynecomastia and I have started developing breasts, the foreman at work understands and there will be no problem, I haven't told Jane yet and she won't like this new development, I went overboard with the waxing and ended up with no body hair, she told me it made me look more like a woman than a man. She will freak-out when she sees me wearing a bra." Scott said, "I feel outnumbered now, you do look like a woman." I finished my coffee and smoke, I said, "have to run, don't want to be late for work." I drove to work and was eager for lunch time as I really needed to talk to Doctor Lewis. It was SSDD at work, (same shit different day), I said, "good morning, Judy." She said, "good morning, Jamie. Did you call Jane?" "Yes," I said, "she thinks I have a urinary tract infection and that I will be resting over the weekend. So, I put off the big reveal until next Friday night. I need to call Doctor Lewis at lunch and see if she can see me after work, today if possible." She said, "no problem from the removal, an infection?" "No," I said, "an infection is not the issue; however, it is related to that and I need her help with the cover story for Jane." "We need to head out, it's 3 miles to the job site for today and our machines are not made for speed," she said. With that, this day had started like others, SSDD. We worked and then it was lunch time, I called Doctor Lewis and she told me it would be OK to come by after work. I told Judy, "Doctor Lewis says it will be alright to come by after work." "Want some company?" she asked. She said, "I'm your big sister and I care about you." I said, "I would like some company, but what about Dan, I would not want him upset again." She said, "you don't have to worry about Dan, when he saw you in your bra yesterday, he said he looks like a woman. I told him that was the right attitude, I thought of you as one of my girlfriends and she needs me." "Thanks, I needed that", I said, "even my best friend from high school, he's my roommate, told me that I look like a woman." The workday finally ended and Judy and I got into my car, I put on some lipstick and said, "I really like to wear lipstick," I lit a cigarette, "I like the lip print that lipstick leaves on the filter." She said, "you like being a woman, you seem happier." We got to Doctor Lewis's office and I was sent to exam room #1, I asked Doctor Lewis, "if it would be alright if Judy joined us?" She said, "sure if you want her in the room, after all she knows what is happening. It will be $25 for today." I gave her the fee and Judy and I went into the exam room #1 to wait while she put up the fee. Doctor Lewis entered and asked, "what can I do for you today? Today's fee includes a shot of estrogen so arm or ass." I said, "arm, that's one of the reasons for this visit, this bra felt too tight and I extended the straps and the right strap came loose, just before lunch." She gave me the shot, and said, "you appear to be developing quickly, as I thought you might. Without your gonads, the estrogen became the primary sex hormone and rapid growth was to be expected." She got a tape to measure my new bust and said, "not to worry, you just need to move up a size, AA-cup, the next time your strap comes undone, just move up a size." I said, "I know that I will need to break-up with my girlfriend Jane. I don't want her to feel like she was not woman enough to keep a man, I mean I would rather be a woman, but I feel that if I told her that she might feel inadequate and that would be just too cruel. If I could spare her that and when she sees my breasts from a medical condition, she could blame the gynecomastia as I know she would not want to be with a man that has breasts and looks more like a woman." Doctor Lewis said, "how thoughtful of you, that would be a much better way to end your relationship. " I said, "thanks for your help in that matter. The last is relating to after effects of gonad removal, it is depressing when I look down at the male member; it's so small now and going to the bathroom is a problem, it is smaller than my hand so sitting is now required, however; I have to push it down to pee. When I see it, I remember what I had and what will never be, it saddens me, so could you refer me to a urological surgeon, I would like it better if it could be repointed at a downward angle and shortened so, I won't be reminded of it, sort of out of sight out of mind." She said, "let me think, I know just the right urological surgeon, she would be glad to help." She left for a few minutes and when she returned, she said, "I made the referral and there will be no fee as it is just for consultation." I said, "Doctor Lewis you are the best." I turned to Judy and said, "Judy, I will never be able to thank-you enough for referring me to Doctor Lewis." When we left, I had an appointment for Wednesday for next week and it was for after work. The Surgeon's name was Lynn Adams and at the same cull-de-sack was her office location. On the ride to drop off Judy, she said, "you have come a long way in such a short time." "I know," I said, "I think I have always known that I wasn't a real man, I only acted like the other guys because, I did not know how to be a man, I never thought that there was another option for me." I pulled up to Judy's place and she said, "intriguing, I would like to hear more but, morning comes early." We said our good-byes and I drove home, I stopped on the way at the Mall, I needed to purchase new training bras, size 34 AA-cup and a pair of pantyhose. I choose 2 basic white again, and of course I went with the padded and shaped added size option. I paid and went home and was asleep quickly, I think it was due to my new happiness, easier to sleep when you are happy with your life. I woke up in the morning and I was glad it was Friday, I had the weekend to experience life as a woman, work would not go by fast enough. I got ready for work, the same as I had for the last few days, however; I added a pair of small gold hoop earrings to my pierced ears, I had originally pierced my left ear and someone told me that that was the ear that gay guys would pierce, so I removed the earring and pierced my right ear right then. My new bra made my bust line appear to be a woman's bust, small but you could tell it was a bust line of a woman, and I felt more like a woman which made me want to appear as a woman. I decided that once I was a real A-cup, I would start to be more of a woman in my appearance, but for now the earrings would do nicely. I was ready for the reveal of my new AA-cup padded bra, I appeared to be an A- cup. Ready for work I went down to my car and drove to work. I got to the lot, I did not want to appear at the Caf? yet, I would have to work up some courage, I should be brave enough by lunch. I saw Judy, servicing the machine that she operated, and I said, "good morning, Judy. Have you got any plans for the weekend?" She said, "good morning to you too. Dan and I do not have any plans, as he is going home for the weekend, so I really have no plans. How about you, any plans? Oh, by the way nice earrings." "Yeah," I said," I've had my ears pierced for a couple of years; I was told I pierced the wrong ear, unless I was trying to say I was gay, so I took the earring out and did the other. I felt that today would be the day to start wearing both earrings. I thought I would go to the Mall; I want a dress and a pair of high heels." Judy said, "that sounds like fun, I'll go with you; it will be a girl's day at the Mall!" I said, "sounds like a plan, I will pick you up 9:30 Saturday morning." We started our day and it was not long before it was lunch time and to my surprise no one said anything about my earrings or the increase of my bustline. The afternoon went by without any change; until Bob drove up and said, "we are shutting down early, 2 more times over this section and call it a day." I said, "I should have known that it would be an early day when Judy told me Dan was going home this weekend, see you Monday." Bob drove off and 30 minutes later Judy and I were done and on the way to the lot to park our equipment. I was getting into my car when; Judy asked, "Dan has already left and he was my ride, so could you give me a ride?" I said, "sure, I don't mind get in." I drove her home and reminded her I would be by at 9:30 am. She said, "I'll be ready or close to it." I drove home, fixed a quick dinner and took a shower after which I decided to redo the polish on my fingernails and when I was done, they matched the bright red of my toenails. I very carefully lit a cigarette; I did not want to smudge them as they dried. After I was sure they were dry, I got ready for bed; however, I had to check-out my breasts in the mirror, I turned to the side and they gave me a nice profile like a young teenage girl. I laid down on the bed and began to feel the nipples and they got hard, which gave me the first glimpse of sexual pleasure since the night before my gonads were removed. It was different to feel pleasure this way, not the same as the explosive orgasm that I used to have this came in waves, but it did leave me wanting more I was lost as to how to get more pleasure. I got up in the morning and I started to prepare myself for the shopping trip to the Mall with Judy. My face was still smooth and hair free, I wondered how long the waxing would last, I needed to investigate a more permanent way for unwanted hair removal. I added a purple eyeshadow and blush to my cheeks to the everyday look that I had been applying for work, I finished with the mauve lipstick as I felt it went better with the eyeshadow. My choice for a shirt was a sky blue, as it was the only non-work shirt that I had, I would only be wearing it until I bought a dress. I remembered to put on a pair of panties to hide what little remained of my cock, I was able to hide it much easier, there was still too much left to hind in just the pantyhose that I would have on under the cleanest pair of jeans and a pair of deck shoes; which I planned to replace with a pair of high heels. I was ready to go, I grabbed my last pack of Eve menthol 120, a lighter and wallet and I realized I needed to buy a purse, I could shove the lighter into a pocket and wallet in another, however, I had to carry the pack of cigarettes and lipstick as they would not fit in a pocket. I left and was on my way to pick up Judy. I knocked on her door and said, "it's me, Jamie, I was running a little late and did not stop for coffee. I asked her if she had any," when she opened the door. Judy said, "coffee is made in the kitchen, help yourself while I finish getting ready." "Thanks, mind if a have a cigarette with my coffee, while I wait?" I asked. She said, "I don't mind, you know I smoke, but thanks for asking. I should be ready by the time you finish." I had just enough time to drink the coffee and smoke my cigarette, when Judy was done, I said, "you look nice." She was wearing the same colors as I was sky blue shirt and blue jean skirt, instead of the blue jeans I was wearing. She said, "we have on matching colors, so you look nice too." We both laughed a little at our color match. After we got into my car, I touched up my lipstick I said, "I had to leave my lipstick in the car, no room in my pockets." She said, "you should start carrying a purse, even at work. They can't say purses are for women because one look at you; they should see you are a woman, if not they are blind." I said, "I agree, I thought to myself, that I need a purse and I don't want to look like a man. I don't feel or think of myself as a man; moreover, I don't want to be a man." I started to drive to the Mall and Judy said, "you did not have to say that I already knew, I have known since you asked Doctor Lewis about shortening it so you would not be able to see it." After I parked the car at the Mall, I looked at my face in the mirror, that I had put on the driver's visor so that I could check my make-up, Jane knew why I put it there and did not like that I had done it. I said, "Judy, do you know how to arch eyebrows, if you do could you do mine?" She said, "I can do your eyebrows, but you have to give me a clue as to the shape." I said, "a thinner and tapered arch, as there are, they are just too thick. I thought that I would ask, trying to save some money." We went it to the Mall and started to acquire the items I wanted. The first stop was at a discount store for high-heels, I picked a pair of 3 ? inch black open toe with ankle straps, I left them on and put the canvas shoes in the box that the high-heels came in. We stopped at a dress shop that had a sale going on and I had to ask Judy for some help determining my dress size, she said, "you could fit into a size 5-6, however when your bust gets bigger it may not fit, I suggest a size 7, that way you have some room to grow into it." "I would not have thought of that, I am glad you came with me," I said. I found a nice dress in that size and it was on sale, it was black with floral print that went down to 4 inches above the knee and was sleeve less, it zipped up the back and again I needed Judy's help. After she zipped me up, she said, "those high heels go quite well with the dress, I wonder if there is a purse that matches, you do need one." I asked the salesgirl, "could you help me find a purse that matches and remove the security tags, I want to wear the dress and carry the purse." She led me to the area where purses were on display, she said, "you're in luck, this one goes very well and it's on sale 50% off." After I paid, she removed the security tags and we left the dress shop. I said, "thanks again for coming with me today, one more stop for a women's billfold, I need to replace the men's wallet." She said, "I got an extra one, a Christmas present from my Mom and I had just bought one, so it's new and still in the box, it's yours if you want it." "Of course, I will gladly accept the offer, thank you. Then I would like to stop and have another ear piercing 1 more in both ears," I said. We stopped at the earring kiosk, free ear piercing with purchase of starter studs. I paid $9 and left with a small golden stud in each ear. As we were leaving, I asked Judy, "would you like to go with me to 'Tony's Pizza'?" She said, "good idea, I was not looking forward to cooking tonight." We left the Mall and went to 'Tony's Pizza' and got a pizza and a pitcher 'Natural Lite', it was a small pitcher, which was the right size as I did not like to drive if I had more than a glass with dinner. After dinner, I drove over to Judy's place and I went in with her. She gave me the women's billfold and said, "have a seat at the kitchen table and I will arch your eyebrows. I'll use an eyebrow pencil and draw them as they will look and if it's what you want, then I will start to remove what is not needed." She drew the eyebrows and I looked at them and they would be 75% thinner and very feminine and they were just the eyebrows I wanted, I said, "I love the way they will look, do it." Judy not only knew how to arch eyebrows; but also, was exceptionally good at it and fast; she was done in less than 5 minutes. She said, "done, have a look." J I got up and walked to the living room and looked at her handy work in the mirror above the sofa, I was very pleased and let her know, I said, "I love the way they look, so feminine." Judy said, "I just did what you asked for, a tapered thin arched eyebrow. However, I have noticed that it seems that you do not try to be a woman, you just are!" I said, "you're right, I just stopped trying to act like a man, the whole male persona was an act that I used to hide how I felt, I know that now. I need to use your phone, there is a call that I have to make, more cover story for Jane." She said, "sure, you are welcome to use my phone, I can give you some privacy if you want." I said, "you can stay as I might need you to help with the cover story." I called Jane and let her know the news, I said, "Jane, I have some bad news, I started to feel what I thought was a side effect from the antibiotics, I told Judy from work about what I felt, soreness and pain in my nipples and she said I should see Doctor Lewis, her doctor. Doctor Lewis told me that I have developed a medical condition called gynecomastia that would cause me to start acquiring secondary sex characteristics, my body is beginning to transform itself into a woman's body." I stopped to listen to her, I continued, "I just found out myself and I'm trying to come to terms with it, I did not know how to tell you, plus I was embarrassed, I'm hairless and have breasts like a teenage girl, you were so upset when you saw my waxed body, I was scared to tell you. Besides, my stomach is upset, and I have the runs, I do think those are real side effects and Doctor Lynn Adams, her practice is urology, says I can come by Wednesday after work, if I still feel discomfort, unless it gets worse. I will let you know what is up then. We said our good-byes." Judy said, "OK, I heard what you said to Jane and I can help you out if she asks, but what did she say." I said, "more or less, it was how it was not right and totally unfair to her. Really, it did not seem to matter that it was happening to me, all she was concerned with was how it would affect her. Oh, will you come with me to my appointment with Doctor Lynn Adams?" She said, "if you cover story was real, Jane's response would have been self-absorbed and wrong. Why are you together?" I said, "she picked me, I think it had to do with the older hippy persona I could buy her the 'Boone's Farm' strawberry wine that she liked, and the other guys that I knew had girlfriends, therefore, it made sense at the time." She said, "I'll go with you to the appointment, I really had a good time with you today, it was fun and I only had to give you a few pointers, like I said, you being a woman is the most natural I have seen you, you are happier now." We said our good-byes and I left for home. I stopped on the way, I needed to buy some more cigarettes, besides, I wanted to be seen in my new outfit, I wished I could wear a dress at work. I got home and Scott and Shannon were having beers and smoking at the kitchen table, so I went in to say hi. Scott said, "well, I don't see my high school buddy, more like his sister, and I have to say she looks a lot better the Jim ever did." Shannon said, "I agree, you look so much better as a woman and I like your outfit, however I don't think that Jane would feel the same." I said, "you're right, she would not like the new me." I told them about the cover story and what Jane had to say about it. Shannon said, "sounds just like her, I have always thought that she kept on you, trying to change you into the man of her dreams, it's like she only saw you as a project." I said, "I believe you are right, too bad; she will be disappointed when she finds out her efforts have been in vain." Scott asked, "want a beer?" "Sure, I could use a night cap," I said. I got a beer from the fridge and lit a cigarette and joined them at the table. I continued, "Scott, you are right about not seeing you buddy, I had to allow Doctor Lewis; to remove my gonads, she would not help me with the estrogen that I need without having them removed first, Jim is not going to be around, I don't feel like being him without gonads." They both were shocked and almost at the same time said, "you mean you don't have them anymore; they're really gone!" I said, "yes, I only had a minute to decide and, in that minute, I could see myself with breasts and I knew I really had no choice, everything made sense why I was always drawn to all aspects of femininity from appearance to traits ." Scott said, "now that you mention it; there were sometimes when we were are at high school, you did appear feminine, Sterling would paint your nails when she had bought a new shade of nail polish and you said you were just being nice and letting her see what it would look like on your nails before she did her nails, as if she was not sure if she wanted to wear it. Then the time you had all the girls in your English class let you use their make-up and did your face for your school id, just for a laugh you said. You helped Sally when her feet hurt, her high heels were a half size too small and you let her wear your sneakers, spending the day in high heels, just helping a friend you said. Dave and Debbie said you were just unique." "You forgot the time I put waves in my hair, from washing then braiding it into 20 braids and letting it dry," I said, "sometimes I would wear a pair of earrings." Shannon said, "well, in hindsight you have been trying to look like a girl long before you decided to look like a woman." I said, "when I look back, you are right, I was too scared to admit it when I was caught in my step-aunt's clothes and wearing make-up by my Dad, I was 13 years old at the time; when asked why I did it, all I could say was I don't know why, I just wanted to see what I would look like, for fun." Scott said, "I could tell that you had gone further with your femininization lately, and now I know why, still you seem to be on a path that has only one ending and you know what that end is going to be, how long it takes you to get there is unknown." I said, "what can I say, I am a work in progress. I am going to the laundromat tomorrow if you want to come with me, and you can call me Jamie." Shannon said, "I would rather ride with you in your car than haul the clothes on the bus. Jamie does suit you." I said, "I like the name, I will need to look into having a legal change of name. After all, I do not look like a James, Jim or Jimmy now and the further my transformation progresses I will not resemble a man and should use a woman's name," I finished my beer and cigarette and went to bed. I got up in the morning; well rested, I noticed that I have been sleeping better ever since my gonads had been removed and I started taking estrogen. I decided to wear the jeans and sky-blue shirt, I would be over dressed if I wore the dress and high heels to the laundromat. I applied the make-up that I had been wearing to work and I added eyeshadow, brow pencil and blush, I finished with lipstick. I placed a spare pack of cigarettes into my purse and slid it over my shoulder, picked up the clothes basket and took it out to my car. I went back into the apartment and made a cup of coffee, lit a cigarette and asked, "Shannon, are you ready?" I heard her from the room that she shared with Scott, "ready in a few minutes," she said. I said, "I am having coffee and a smoke in the kitchen, you can take the clothes down to my car, it is unlocked, I will be waiting in the kitchen." As she went by the kitchen she said, "I will be right back, I could use a cup of coffee myself." Shannon joined me in the kitchen and made herself a cup of coffee and lit a cigarette, she said, "nothing starts the day better than a cup of coffee with a smoke." "I have to agree," I said, "things just do not go well when I miss the morning cup of coffee and a cigarette." We finished our coffee and headed down to the car. I drove to the laundromat which was a half a mile and would take quite a bit longer by bus, walk 3 blocks to the bus stop and if the timing was right a bus would stop in a few minutes or you could see the back of the bus as it passed by just before you made it to the bus stop. A 5-minute trip by car could be up to 40 minutes by bus. I parked the car right in front of the laundromat, and our clothes were spinning in their washers and we had some time to kill. I suggested that we walk down to the drug store and browse around, I was new to shopping without buying. I asked, "could you explain why shopping without buying is something that most women like to do?" Shannon replied, "it is really very simple, women look to see something that catches their eye and then wait for it to go on sale, we also call it window shopping." I said, "Jane did say let us go window shopping, and then we went to the Mall, I did not see one store that sold windows at the Mall. I wondered at the time, and now I know why we went to the Mall, thank you." I found myself standing in front of the cosmetic section, I knew I wanted something, however there were so many choices I had trouble finding what it was I had thought of getting, then I remembered a different shade of eyeshadow. I saw a beige trio set and asked Shannon, "do you think this would look nice on me?" She said, "good, it is a nice shade for you." "Then I will buy it," I said. I paid for the eyeshadow and we went back to our task, laundry. The clothes were on the final spin and we threw them into dryers and the waiting began anew. With the clothes dry and folded, we went to the car and back to the apartment. We went up the stairs to the apartment, it was the second floor of a house with 2 apartments one ground floor and ours. Shannon went to put up the clean clothes and I went to do the same. I realized that I would need to acquire some panties, I only had 2 pair of women's panties, I would get rid of the male briefs in order to make room for the panties. I got a small bag from the drawer in the kitchen and threw the briefs into it, I would drop them off in a charity box on the way to the Family Dollar and replace them with women's panties. I quick touch up to my lipstick I grabbed the bag and was off to the store, I dropped the bag into the charity box, next stop was the Family Dollar. I bought a six pack of panties with a bonus of two pairs, I could always buy more latter. I went home quite pleased with how quickly I had decided not to wear male briefs and replace them with the undergarments that were more fitting, I should be wearing women's panties. I put my new panties in the drawer that had previously been the drawer that held male briefs. I fixed myself a quick dinner, OK not really dinner just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I went to the bathroom and washed my face, then it was off to bed. I must have been tired, before I knew it the alarm was sounding, and a new day was beginning. I got up and made my way to the bathroom, funny I thought the last thing I do at night, is the first thing I do in the morning. To the kitchen to start Mr. Coffee, while it was making a pot, I returned to the bedroom and got dressed. It took a few minutes longer as I had to expand the straps on my bra, I believe I have added another size. I could smell the coffee and I knew it was time for the other part of the morning routine, a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Shannon entered the kitchen and I only had time to say, "good morning, I have got to go, bye." She said, "have a nice day at work." I finished my coffee and put the cup in the sink and was headed down the stairs to my car. I drove to work and got there with just enough time to park my car. I hurried to service my roller and get the day started, I saw Judy by her roller and said, "good morning, Judy thanks again for going to the Mall with me." She said, "glad to go, had a nice time helping you. When you finish servicing your roller head to the overpass at the west end of the project. We get to do something new today, the on and off ramps." I said, "I will be done in a couple of minutes and I will be right behind you." When we got to the overpass and looked at the ramps, they were steep and I was concerned that it could be dangerous, I turned to Tom and said, "they are steep and look dangerous." Tom said, "you are correct, ramps can be extremely dangerous, you must go up in a lower gear and come down in the lowest gear. Slow is safe and speed can kill, no kidding and over braking with gravity can flip your roller, be safe and go slow." I was worried, I could operate my roller on the flat spots of the roadway with no problem, but the ramps scared me. I said, "I do not know how you feel about these ramps, Judy, they scare me." Judy said, "they frighten me too." I thought it would take at least all day just to finish one ramp, however, slow is safe and I would be safe, and I was determined to be safe. It was lunchtime and we were not quite halfway done with the first ramp and we had four ramps to do. The foreman, Bob came by to give us a ride to the Caf? for lunch, I like to ride with Bob, 30 minutes for lunch goes by fast, but Bob could take longer lunch breaks and you do not tell the boss that he is taking too long and lunchtime could be 45 minutes, sometimes one hour. Today's lunch break was 45 minutes and, on the way, back to the ramp, Bob said, "the ramps are not to frightening for you girls, just go slow and be safe." I turned to Judy and I could tell she heard the same thing 'girls', I said, "Judy and I are being very safe and are going slow." Bob said, "Jamie, you and Judy seem to be close friends, therefore, I feel that I can say this to both of you, I told you that my cousin had the same medical condition and decided to keep his breasts, rather than pay to have them removed and still wears a bra. What I did not tell you is the way he dealt with his breasts was to modify his appearance in order to look like a woman, he felt it was easier and more normal for he to live as a woman, and I see that it seems that you are going to do the same. My word still stands, no one on this job will give you any problem. Be careful on the ramps, girls." Judy and I got out of his truck and I said, "WOW, he has noticed my change of appearance and has given his approval." She said, "you are one of the girls now, welcome to the sisterhood!" It was slow and boring; however, it was the safest way to do the ramps. It took all day to finish this ramp. Judy and I headed to the lot to park our rollers, when we got there, I said, "Judy, Doctor Lewis was right, my breasts are growing fast, and I need to go up a size." She said, "I bet you are glad that they have gotten to an A-cup." I said, "I did get that extra shot of estrogen, and I am sure that helped. I have got to head to the Mall and buy a couple of A-cup bras. I will see you in the morning." I got in my car and did a touch up to my lipstick; lit a cigarette and I still like to see the imprint of lipstick on the filter. I got to the Mall and was in and out quickly; I knew right where to go and was on my way home. Dinner, shower and to bed. It must have been the stress of ramp work, I felt just a little touch of nervousness and my mind started to drift. I thought of sex and how I missed the climax, but I did not miss having sex with Jane. I was no longer equipped to perform the sex act as a man; therefore, I had no desire to have sex with her. I still cared for her, but not in that way and I knew she would not want to be just friends. I do not know when I fell asleep, I just know it felt like I had just gone to bed when it was time to get up. I went through the morning routine: start coffee, bathroom and make my cup of coffee and enjoy it with a cigarette. I had time, I had gotten better at my make-up and saved time and I used that time starting my day savoring the flavor of that 1st cup of coffee and a cigarette, somehow, they both tasted better. I finished my coffee and cigarette; however, I still felt tired and I made a cup to go. It was time to leave for work. I got to the equipment lot, parked my car and freshened my lipstick I wanted the full effect not just a trace of lipstick, but a reapplication for the bold look of rich color. I also added blush and eyeshadow, I had promised myself that when I was a full A-cup, I would wear my make- up just like a woman. I said, "good morning," to Judy, "ready for some ramp work." She said, "good morning, and I would rather be doing flat roadwork, but we will probably be working on the ramps all week. You look nice today." I said, "thank you, it is a promise I made to myself, I would wear my make-up like a woman once I became an A-cup. With what Bob said, he expects it and I am not going to disappoint him." We finished servicing our rollers and headed to the ramps. When we got there was a bevy of equipment and operators. Judy and I got off our rollers and I said, "there appears to be a problem of some sort and Bob is in a heated discussion with the State Inspector, I guess we should wait till they are through before inquiring." They finally finished their conversation and Bob headed over to us, he said, "the section at the bottom of the ramp did not pass the soil density test. Too much water content and it will not dry out on its own. The rough grade contractor will have to remove the fill dirt and replace it with drier fill dirt. The problem is there is too much clay and clay will retain water; therefore, it will not dry out by rolling with your equipment." I asked, "what are Judy and I going to do?" Bob said, "right now nothing, on second thought, take a break." He tossed me his truck key," take my truck and have some coffee at the Caf?, and bring me back a large cup of coffee, black." I said, "come on Judy, we get to take a coffee break at the Caf?." We grabbed our purses and went to the Caf?. Judy said, "this delay must be going to take a while, or Bob would not have sent us away." I said, "I think you are right." We ordered our coffee and sat at a table away from the few people that were in the Caf?. We lit cigarettes and I said, "I have that appointment with Doctor Lynn Adams, tomorrow after work. I still would like you to come with me." She said, "sure, I will go with you. I will order that coffee to go for Bob and then we should head back." We finished our coffee and cigarettes and Judy grabbed Bob's coffee and headed back. We were about 1 mile from the ramp and Bob flagged us down. I pulled over to him, Judy gave him his coffee and I handed him his key. Bob said, "Johnny came up to the ramp and we now have a bigger problem. He came across a huge tree stump in the rough grade that he was attempting to cut down to the grade point and the million-dollar piece of equipment is broken. The State Inspector says that the wrong grade of fill was used here, and the rough grade contractor will have to remove a 2-mile section and replace it with the right grade of fill dirt. I forgot; it will be for both sides which means 4 miles. The State Inspector has shut us down; until the dirt is replaced and the rest of the dirt on the whole project has been inspected. So, the company will be giving everybody a lay-off slip with subject to recall, which means the requirement to look for work will not apply. The company will the lay-off slips, I need to make sure that I have the right address for you girls." We gave him our addresses and made sure he had it right. He said, "you girls should get the slips next week and the company will pay for an eight-hour day for today. Thanks for getting me the coffee, I will give you girls a ride back to your rollers, then go park them at the lot. I do want to rehire the both of you, so I will call Judy and I guess I will have to go by and tell you Jamie, as you do not have a phone, I am sorry that I had to give you lay-offs." When Judy and I got back to the lot I said, "did not see that coming, but I still would like for you to come with me tomorrow afternoon." She said, "of course I will, and I need a ride home." I said, "no problem, hop in and we will be on our way," I reapplied my lipstick after I got in the car, it was like a habit. First the lipstick and then lighting a cigarette. I pull up to Judy's place and said, "he never told us how long he thought the lay-off would be, at least a week or two, maybe three. I be by at 3:30 in the afternoon." She said, "I did not think it was 3:30 after midnight." We both laughed at that. She said, "I have had an idea; you do not what the Doctor may want to do to help you, so let us go out tonight. It is Ladies night at the bar 2 blocks from my place, you will not have to drive, you can spend the night. You can wear that nice dress you bought and bring your make-up and I will do it for you." "That sounds great to me," I said, "what time should I come by?" 7 pm would be fine, "she said. I drove home and thought did I just agree to go out as a woman to a bar, on Ladies night. 2 weeks ago, I would not have left my apartment and now I am going to a bar. I got home and fixed a myself an early lunch. After lunch I took a bubble bath, strawberry scented I loved the aroma it made me feel so feminine, after my bath I decided to take a nap. I was trying to get some rest, when I heard footsteps on the stairs coming up to the apartment, then I heard Shannon's voice, "Jamie, you are home early, are you feeling all right." I said, "I was just laying down for a bit, I will be right out, I have got some news." I slid a tank top over my head, I did not bother with a bra, and went to the kitchen to talk with Shannon. "Shannon, you will never guess what happened at work today," I said, "I was laid off." I explained the best I could about what happened. She said, "laid off, what are you going to do, have any ideas where to find a job." I said, "I forgot, laid off with recall to work, it is only temporary, and I will not need to look for work. I am not ready to get a new job as a woman, I may look like a woman; however, my driver's license has a man's name and says male. If all goes well when I have my appointment with Doctor Lynn Adams, I may be legally able to list my sex as female; no male genitals." She said, "that would do it, then you still have the name to change." I said, "I know that I could look into that during my lay off. It would be great if I had both changed by the time, I get the recall to work." She said, "maybe, being laid off will work in your favor, sort of the best of a bad situation." I said, "Judy asked me if I wanted to go to the bar near her place, it is Ladies night. Hard to believe that 2 weeks ago I was too scared to go out in public; dressed as a woman, now I do not want to go anywhere as a man." She said, "I could not help but notice your breasts, the way that they bounce like woman, you are not wearing a bra." I said, "I thought that I would let them have a break. I am going to lay back down, take a nap till get ready for my 1st night out." I got up at 6:30 pm, as I only had to get dressed; Judy had offered to do my make-up. I got over to Judy's place at 7pm. I knocked on the door and said, "Judy, it is only me.' She said, "come in, and I will do your make-up." I said, "I have been waiting all afternoon, let's get started." I went over to the kitchen table and sat down and handed her my makeshift make- up bag it was the bag from a bottle of Crown Royal. She looked at what I had brought and said, "great, you have what I need to make you look good." She was right, knowing what to use and using it right, are not quite the same. I knew what to use but did not have the experience. Judy was satisfied with her handy work and said, "I think you are ready." I did not know why but I was just a little apprehensive I said, "I need a cigarette." I lit a cigarette and we headed out the door. "Relax," she said, "you look fine, take a draw of your cigarette, you will have fun, just relax." In a few minutes we were at the bar Judy said, "they know me here, you will not have to show ID." She took care of getting me in and I realized that I would have to change my name if not more once I saw Doctor Lynn Adams. Judy was right I had a good time and I did not have to buy the 1st beer. Several guys kept taking turns buying beers for me and after 4 beers I told Judy it was time for me to go. On the way back to her place I was glad that I did not have to drive, I was quite tipsy I said, "if one of those guys were to buy me another beer, I could have gotten into real trouble if they had decided to make a move on me." Judy asked, "how many guys and how many beers?" "Four each," I said, "the last guy seemed to want more than a thank you, I thought it was best to leave." She said, "I saw the last guy and you were right, he has been known to want more and 2 girls have said he got to fresh and they were lucky that someone come by the parking lot and he stopped and they got away. Your instincts were right, female intuition is a trait that women are born with and you have it." We got to Judy's place and went inside. I said, "I found out when I went to the County Mental Health, Jane insisted I go 3 months ago, I think she wanted to cure me of desire to dress up like a woman, I laughed; as you can see it did not work., I found out that I have a feminine personality and that when I had dressed up as a woman, I imagined myself a woman not a man dressed up in woman's clothes and I fantasied having sex it was with a man. The psychiatrist said, 'if when you are dressed up as a woman, you imagine yourself a woman, then it would be normal for your sex fantasies to be with a man.' Instead of being cured I found out my brain decided that I was woman and it did not care if the body was wrong, that is way being a woman comes to me naturally." Judy said, "wait a minute, 3 months ago now I realize why I started to see more traces of make-up and nail polish." I lit a cigarette and I said, "there is more that the psychiatrist said, 'you need to find out more about what makes you happy, it could be you change nothing and be like you are but you would not be here talking to me if that were the case; therefore, you may want live as a woman yet still be male under your clothes and if you feel that is not enough you might want to have sexual reassignment surgery. Before you do that you should find out if you could be with a man when you are dressed as a woman and feeling like a woman, perform sex in the woman's role if you find that you can be with a man, then you could live a gay life style, if that is not enough for you to be fully happy then perhaps sexual reassignment surgery. It would be bad if you had the surgery and found out that you cannot stand to have a man touch you. Find out who and what you want and come see me, till you know I cannot help.' Now you know most of the story." Judy said, "you cannot stop now, if there is more then I want to know." I said, "if you must know I will continue, I needed to explore some of the choices that the physiatrist had mentioned. First, I knew I was not happy with the way my life was I really liked it when people would mistake me for a woman; I started to do change my appearance, a little in the beginning and more people would think that I was a woman, so I would add more changes and I started to become more feminine with my mannerisms. I knew that I would end up dressing and living as a woman; however, I did not think that I would be happy living as a woman and still be male, so I had to find out if I could be with a man. It was at a party, at Jane's friend Laura parents' house. This guy named Gregg was there and I had heard that he swings both ways, so I asked, "Gregg do you want to smoke a joint it is not that strong, so we may have to go outside to smoke it." He said, "sure, I will smoke a joint with you." We went outside to the back of the house, where we could be alone. I lit the joint took a hit and passed it to him, I got closer to him the higher I got, and by the time we finished the joint I was standing directly in front of him and he took the hint. He kissed me and I kissed him back and I knew that I could be with him. I grabbed his crotch and felt his cock and I wanted it, I undid his jeans and held it in my hand I stroked his cock and felt it starting to get hard, I got down on my knees and gave him a blow-job." Judy said, "you really gave him blow-job, did you like, did he like it, more details, please." "Yes, I liked it," I said, "I like the way it got hard in my mouth, the way it felt as went up and down on his cock and he must have enjoyed it, because he shot his load in my mouth and I sucked harder I wanted every drop of his cum." "Wow," she said, "I could not tell, that you had been with a man, I never got the gay vibe from you." "That is the point," I said, "I did not think of myself as a man, I thought of myself as a woman and as a woman, it felt right. I never wanted to be a man with a man, I wanted to be a woman with a man, so I gave him the blow-job as if I were a woman, I do not know if you can see the difference." She said, "in a way it does make sense; that is why no gay vibe, you are more like a woman, I can see it now." I said, "I wanted to see if I could be with man and I got an answer but, I needed to be with a man, when I was dressed as a woman and perform sexually as a woman; the problem was where do I find a man that would allow me to be a woman sexually and know I had something extra and not play with it. Gay guys were out as they were into guys, and I did not want to be a guy with a guy. I decided that my best chance would be at the adult bookstore. I went to an adult bookstore that was downtown and when a man wanted to watch a movie with me, it was in the private booth that anonymous sex took place and that is what I wanted. It did not take long, a man said, "pretty lady would you like to watch a movie with me?" I selected a movie on the wall where the choices were located, it was one that had a man and a shemale and I said, "only if this turns you on, because if I were to be in a movie, it would be one like this one." "Excellent," he said, "I would very much enjoy watching this movie with you." He paid the fee for the booth and we went into the back to room #4, I could not believe that he wanted to be with me, but he did not know, what I would do and what he could not do. We entered the room and I said, "here is the deal, I can give you a blow-job or suck on your cock till you are rock hard and you can have a piece of ass and I mean ass not slang for pussy and I do not like to be touched down there, so no touching me there, still want to proceed." He said, "I accept your terms." He locked the door and dropped his pants and boxers and I saw what I wanted, however, it appeared to be huge and he was soft. I got down on my knees and I started kiss his cock, I ran my tongue around the head of his massive member, then I parted my lips and began to sock on his cock and it grew rapidly. It felt so good and I knew he would be rock hard quickly, he said, "that is good enough baby, now bend over and put your hands on the bench." I did as he said and he hiked my dress over my hips, pulled my pantyhose and panties down and I felt the head of his cock as it attempted to enter my tight ass hole. I felt it as he gained access, it was very painful and I was about to tell him to put it out when he said, "I know it hurts, but the pain will soon be replaced by pleasure, trust me I done this before." I wanted to believe him; but the pain, then it started to change, and it felt nice than better and I began to feel pleasure unlike any that I had known before. The pleasure was not located in one spot, as the explosive one and done of any orgasms before. My body was responding to the pleasure and I could feel it spread from my head to my toes, I liked feeling this pleasure as wave after wave of delight spread throughout my body." Judy said, "you found out that you liked having sex with a man, while dressed as a woman and in the role of a woman. That was not enough for you to be happy?" I said, "not quite enough, in order to look completely as possible as a woman; I have to look like a woman when I am not dressed as a woman and that was the problem, and to resolve the problem; I needed to start living as a woman." Judy said, "you could not be both a man at work and a woman after work, and that is why I started seeing the trace of make-up and left-over nail polish. It was like you were trying to live two lives." "Yes, exactly," I said, "I had to choose one life and I would rather have sex as a woman with a man: then be a man with a woman. However, knowing the life that I wanted to live and knowing how to get to it was something that I had been trying to figure out, when we went to see Doctor Lewis and now I have a plan." She said, "the next step in your plan would be the appointment with Doctor Lynn Adams, and you should call her and see if the appointment can be move to earlier; remember we are laid-off." I said, "that is an exceptionally good idea, I will call her in the morning." Judy said, "the sofa pulls out into a twin bed, I will the bedding for you to use." She left and gave me the bedding and said, "you are more like a sister so you can make the bed yourself." "Thanks, I will see you in the morning," I said. I made the bed and went to the bathroom, washed my make-up off, I was glad that I had brought it with me, then went to the sofa bed and passed out. I woke in the morning with a slight hang-over, I almost drank too much; however, the aroma of coffee was calling me, and I wanted a cup of coffee and a cigarette but first the bathroom. I made my way to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee and was enjoying the flavor, I lit an Eve menthol 120 cigarette, a good pair. "Morning, Jamie did you sleep well?" Judy asked. I said, "I passed out as soon as my head hit the pillow; however, my head feels like someone is using a jack-hammer inside it." She said, "just because a man offers to buy you a drink, it does not mean you have to accept it. It is 8am, when do you think Doctor Adams will be at her office?" I said, "I guess 9am but I will try calling her at 8:30." We sat there drink our coffee and smoking cigarettes, until it was time to call Doctor Adams. "I am going to call her now." I made the phone call and I had to tell Judy, "she said, 'she could see me at 10am'," I said. Judy said, "that is good news, we will not have to wait. Now, are you glad I suggested you call?" "Yes, Judy," I said, "it was a good idea." I went to the sofa and unmade the bed, gathering up the bedding I asked, "what do you want me to do with the used bedding?" She said, "you can put it in the dirty clothes hamper in the bathroom." I took the bedding and my make-up to the bathroom, putting the used bedding in the hamper, I started on my face for the day. I used my standard make-up as if I were going to work and added just a touch of eyeshadow, over the eyelashes just to the crease, pleased with my appearance I went to finish dressing. I slid the dress, that I brought for my night out; it was my best dress and my only dress, over my head put my arms through the sleeves and went to make myself another cup of coffee. I was drinking the coffee and smoking a cigarette, when Judy came to the kitchen, I asked her, "Judy, could you zip me up, please?" She said, "that is a nice dress; however, you need to acquire a wardrobe. I know a church that you can get clothes and they are free; I know you do not have unlimited funds. We can go there after your Doctor's appointment, that is if you do not mind used clothing." "I do not have a problem with free clothes, never felt comfortable going out as a woman before; therefore, I stayed away from places that have clothes giveaways," I said, "sure, we can go and thanks for another good idea." "Then we need to leave, unless you want to be late," she said. I knew she was right, and I said, "all I need to do is put on my high- heels and I will be ready to go. I almost forgot freshen up my lipstick." We got in my car and I drove to the appointment with Doctor Lynn Adams. When we got there I kind of froze for just a moment, I took a deep breath and started to walk to what I hoped would be the answer to the problem in-between my legs. I entered and let the receptionist know who I was and took a seat in the waiting room. I did not have to wait long, and Doctor Lynn Adams came over and said, "I am Doctor Adams and you must be Jamie, Doctor Lewis informed me that I could be of help to you and I am intrigued at what you want, before I can say, if I could help I need to see the problem. Go to exam room #1 and put on the gown and I will be right in. Oh, Judy can be there with you." Judy and I went to exam room #1, as I was putting the gown on I said, "Doctor Lewis must have told her a lot about me, if Doctor Adams knows that I like to have you with me." Judy nodded in agreement. Doctor Adams entered and said, "climb up on the table and explain the problem and what you would like done to correct it. Place your feet in the stirrups, so I can see what you believe to be the problem." I climbed on the table and placed my feet in the stirrups, and I remembered the last time that my feet were in stirrups, and I said, "my problem is that ever sense Doctor Lewis removed my gonads, my dick has got too small hold on to for use in a restroom, I decided that women sit to pee, so I should start doing the same; however, it does not point down and I have to push it in a downward angle and I do not like to see it, as it reminds me of what I can no longer do. Would it be possible to shorten it and angle it downward?" After the examination, Doctor Adams said, "I do see the problem and if you look at the chart on the wall, I can explain what I should be able to do." She pointed to the chart, "by cutting this ligament, it will want to point downward, and it can be shortened; however, if you want it to look more normal, I need to ask Doctor Amy Grant for a consultation, her practice is cosmetic surgery and has an operating theater and I would be performing the surgery at her place and she could help make it look right. I will call her today and depending on what she recommends, I will advise you." I said, "that sounds great, I did not know if it could be done or if you could do it. Judy, I will need to stay with you, it would be easier to wait to hear at your place, after we check out the free clothes at the church." I gave the Judy's phone number to the receptionist on the way out. We got to my car and I said, "she is willing to help me with the problem, I hope she calls today. Which way to the church?" Judy said, "turn left at the end of the parking lot and go 1 mile and you will see the church on the right side of the road. Here is a thought, if she performs surgery on you, then I should drive you and you should stay with me." I said, "Judy, you are quite amazing, very clearly a good thought." We arrived at the church and found the entrance that lead to the room with the clothes and it was in the basement. I went up to the lady at the desk, and I said, "I heard that I might be able to acquire some clothes at no cost." She said, "you were informed correctly, we do have a program of free clothes; however, there is a limit of once every 2 months. You may fill 2 bags: 1 is for clothes and it may be filled to the top, the other is for 3 pair of shoes any style. We do require your name, as we do check for the last time that you used our program." She handed me the 2 bags and they were the large brown paper bags one would find at a grocery store. Judy and I found the woman's section and started looking for items in my size. I could not believe how many garments I managed to fit into that 1 bag: 3 dresses, 2 skirts and 3 blouses. For the shoes I found: 1 pair of brown ankle strap closed toe 3 ? inch high heels, the 2nd pair of red, 5 ? inch platform high heels slip on style and the 3rd pair of black knee high 4 inch high heels boots. I could not believe my luck, I now had a total of 10 outfits that I could wear, without repeating the same outfit, back to back. I said to Judy, "Wow! I got a great deal on clothes and shoes. We need to get back to your place, I hope that Doctor Adams calls with good news." She said, "you did get some nice clothes and shoes, and you can go back in 2 months for more. I hope you get the news you want." We got back to Judy's apartment and I started eagerly waiting for the phone to ring. At 4pm, it rang, and it was Doctor Adams, she said, "come by, and I will tell you what your choices are for proceeding. I will wait for you." I said, "I will be right over." I said, "Judy, we need to go back to Doctor Adams, she said, 'I have choices to make; whatever that means." We arrived at Doctor Adams and went in to see her and find out what choices I had. Doctor Adams was waiting for us, and she said, "this is Doctor Amy Grant, I told you earlier that I would consult with her about your case. It is possible to perform surgery to shorten and angle downward and Doctor Grant could make you appear to be a normal woman; however, it would be superficial, and you would not be able to have intercourse. Doctor Grant is willing to reduce the rate that she would normally charge for the use of her operating theater and would not charge for her surgical skill. Doctor Grant and I were only to find one type of procedure that was close to what you what; however, that was gender reassignment surgery. The main difference is one surgery, the one you have asked for results in being unable to have sexual intercourse, and the other you would be able to have sexual intercourse as a woman. That is your choice; surgery and be able to perform sexually as a woman or just to sit down to pee, in either case the cost would be the same." I said, "I would be able to have gender reassignment surgery and my cost would just be operating theater fee. That would great, however, Judy and I were laid-off yesterday and I doubt that I would get enough unemployment money to cover the cost." Doctor Adams asked, "how long is your lay off?" I said, "not sure of that 2 or 3 weeks, maybe a month." Doctor Adams and Doctor Grant were talking to one side, and Doctor Adams said, "that may work out in your favor, I will cover the fee of $500 and you can repay me once you return to work. Time is a factor; therefore, we should perform the surgery tomorrow so you can have the time to heal, without losing time from work. Which surgery shall we perform?" I said, "the gender reassignment surgery, what time in the morning and where will the surgery take place?" Doctor Adams said, "9am, at the building to the left of mine." Judy and I left and got into my car and I lit a cigarette and I said, "I am going to get gender sexual reassignment surgery for only $500, normally that type of surgery can cost between $8,000 and $12,000, I just asked to sit and pee." Judy said, "I will go with you and drive you back to my place and you can recover there. Until you are released to normal activity. I know things are seemingly to be fine and you probably do not want to hear this; what about Jane." I said, "well, I am not going to see her till after the surgery, and I had thought of the ending to the cover stories. I will have an intensive pain and it will feel like my gonads are on fire, I told you of my discomfort, and you took me to the urologist; the pain was bad and I could not drive. The infection was spreading, and I had two choices: the 1st was to have emergency surgery and remove the infection, the 2nd was to refuse the surgery and die with my manhood intact. I could learn to live without male sexual reproductive organs or keep them and die. I told the doctor I would rather live as a woman, I did not want to live as a man if I did not have the male reproductive organs. The doctors were able to save my life, however, James never made it to post-op recovery. What do you think?" She said, "it should work, Jane believed you when you told the cover stories and there only 3 ways that it could end." I said, "I will have to tell her in person, it would not right to tell her by phone." I drove to Judy's apartment, and we went in. Judy said, "are do you want something to eat?" I said, "I need to read this leaflet about my upcoming surgery, I might not be able to eat." I sat on the sofa and read the information, I was right; "avoid food, alcohol, drugs, caffeine and tobacco products." I lit a cigarette, and said, "I will give up the first four and cut back on cigarettes and this cigarette will be my last one till after the surgery and no make-up." Judy joined me on the sofa and said, "poor baby, no coffee and cigarette in the morning; however, look at what you will get for the temporarily abstaining, you can say I am woman!" I said, "you are right, I should be overjoyed at my good fortune; gender reassignment surgery for $500 and here I am complaining about coffee and cigarettes. I need to try and sleep; however, I am worried about the surgery, it may take some time to fall asleep." I was right, the more I tried to fall asleep, the wider awake I was, it appeared to me that sleep would be hard to find. I awoke in the morning feeling as tried as I was when I went to bed. I could smell the coffee; however, not allowed for me till after my surgery and no smoking. I made my way to the kitchen and Judy was sitting there enjoying a cup of coffee and smoking a cigarette, and she said, "too bad, you cannot have any right now." I said, "you seem to enjoy my torment, you know I like my morning coffee and cigarette; however, we need to leave, I do not want to be late for my surgery." She said, "if you are ready to go, then let's be on our way." We got to Doctor Grant's office, a few minutes early and we entered the office and I checked myself in for my surgery. Doctor Grant came over and said, "Judy, I will let you know when Jamie is in post-op recovery." Doctor Grant took me to a room, it was next to the operating theater where I would have the surgical procedure that would change me from being male to female. She had me sign the standard release form and told me, "disrobe and put the gown on and climb on to the gurney." I did as she requested and she gave me a shot to help me relax and the next thing I remember is her asking me, "how do you feel? What level of pain do you have?" I said, "I am very disorientated right now, what happened I was in the other room and the light went out? I do not feel any pain right now." She said, "the shot was to put you under prior to your surgery and you now are in the post-op recovery room." I said, "post-op, that means I have had the surgery, I do not remember it happening; however, I am starting to get some feeling down below and there is a slight bit of pain." She said, "that is a good sign, the drug for the surgery, as you said, 'put the lights out' and there are wearing off. I will get Judy; she has been really worried." When Doctor Grant returned with Judy, Doctor Grant said, "Jamie, you will need bed rest for 3 days, then 3 days with minimal activity and return to see me in 1 week. There should be someone to help you during the 1st week in case you have any complications. Do you know someone that can stay with you?" End of part 1