Marions Story Chapter Thirteen free porn video

Thanks to my very good friend Marina Kelly for all her help with the story and of course the wonderful editing....it makes me look like I can spell. So we were ready to tour...Moll's did her usual awesome job organizing the tour and it was ready to go before we knew it. The bus was organized, this time the roadies were going to have their own van. Our social media pages were full of new dates, the promotional stuff was all ready for release. The band gathered early Tuesday morning as we loaded our gear into the bus, we had a quick huddle and group hug before heading to Columbia to play at the Blue note for our first gig on Wednesday night. Then it would be on to St Louis which in many ways had been the big kick off for us. Then we would be saying Sayonara to the Midwest. Following that it was east to Louisville and Lexington before heading south to Clarkesville, then to Nashville. We had three gigs booked for Nashville and we were really looking forward to it. OK Nashville is mostly about Country but there is an amazing alternative music scene there as well. Then west to Memphis, Birmingham, Atlanta, Jacksonville, Tallahassee, Pensacola, Mobile then the main stop New Orleans. After chilling in New Orleans for a week we were then off to Houston, Austin, Fort Worth and Dallas. North up to Oklahoma City and Tulsa. On the homeward journey we were stopping at Joplin, Springfield then Back to Kansas City, with our last gig in Lawrence. The next part of the tour was going to be the grueling part. We were going to take two weeks off before embarking on the next phase. Indianapolis, Cincinnati, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia and then New York for four gigs before heading west to Cleveland, Detroit and Chicago. It was going to be mammoth and exhausting. By the time we finished in Nashville the pressure was already starting to tell. We all snapped at each other, we found ourselves arguing about nothing. Christ we were only just starting and the tension was unbearable. Mel was the worst she never wanted this tour, all she wanted was to focus on recording a proper album in a real studio for one of the big labels. She had wanted to record before the tour so we could promote it and now she wouldn't shut up about it. As far as she was concerned the tour was a mistake, we should be recording and she became insufferable, she just kept rambling on and on about it. The bickering aside, the shows were all incredible, our return to St Louis had been a real highlight moment. The place was sold out and our merchandise stocks were low. The old CD's were almost gone. It meant Moll's spent countless hours on the phone. She was never without the damn thing stuck to her ear. I will give her credit, she drove us hard and none of this could have happened without her hard work but Jesus H Christ I wish she would put the thing away. For Moll's and me it meant I was left on my own a lot with nothing but my acoustic guitar and pencil and paper. She realized quickly how pissed off I got with her always on the phone arguing with some venue owner, publicist or promoter so she went down to the bar or the lobby to have those conversations. With her disappearing out of the room all the time it gave me time to write. It's funny though how your tastes change. The songs I now wrote were more ballads like the earlier ones which Jas and Mel hated. I on the other hand felt the pull of this genre. Somehow it seemed more honest, or at least real. When I played them for Molly she scrunched up her nose visibly distressed. "Babes, they aren't going to suit the band, write some like your earlier stuff, the popular ones, this stuff will never fit." Disappointed I groaned, "It's not meant to, these are my songs, I know Mel will hate them, it's just what I'm feeling at the moment." Sitting beside me and lifting my hand off the guitar she sighed. "Babe, the band is hot now, you might never ever get this chance again, ride the wave babe, c'mon we have talked about this and it was you who said we had to ride the wave. We have to maximize this opportunity and we could use some new material. The stuff Mel is writing is just the same old thing, you can do it, write something new for the band." The words were barely out of her mouth when that damned phone rang and she was off out the door again trying to get our new merch sent on so we could pick it up in Memphis. Alone again I went back to my writing and I had one idea that could go either way, it could be a real love song or a rocky girls day out anthem that would suit the band. Over the next hour I fleshed it out and by the time she was back I had something resembling her request. As she sat on the end of the bed, I played it my way first which made her frown, then when I played it the way the Lips could do it, she jumped up. "Oh god yes, that's perfect, the girls will love it and so will the crowds." When I played it for the girls during sound check they all loved it, although I could see Mel chewing her lip, I think she felt the pressure of having to write because I hadn't been producing much, she felt she had to do it all and what hurt was the girls rejecting all her recent efforts. Seeing the first thing I put forward so readily accepted hurt. I saw it in her face, she was jealous. Still we had it nailed for our third show in Memphis and Moll's was right the audience loved it. Seeing Mel hurting pained me, to try and placate her I picked up one of her old songs one that we had already rejected. I kept the words, well some of them and found a melody that better suited the flow and I found a riff that fitted over the top perfectly. With Moll's down in the bar with that damned infernal phone glued to her ear I took the song and my guitar and knocked on Mel's door. When she saw me, I asked if she had a moment to listen to something. I played her the song and I saw the mixture of pleasure and pain. Yes, she liked it but she hated the fact I took her idea and made it better. She snapped, "Jesus Christ, why don't you write your own fucking songs why steal mine?" Confused and angry I spluttered, "I'm not stealing it, I was only trying to help, I thought you might like it." She screwed up her face. "I do like it dipshit, but jeez it pisses me off that you do it so easily, do you know how hard I worked on that song? Fuck it took me months to get it to a stage I thought it might be alright, you take ten minutes and the girls will swoon all over you and say how fucking great you are." I stood up quickly and threw the sheet of paper with the new words and chords at her and snapped, "I don't care about who gets credit, present it as yours, tell em it was all you if you like because I don't fucking care. I was just trying to be nice so fuck you bitch." I slammed the door behind me and bumped into Moll's who was coming back from the bar. "Hey babe, where you been?" "Talking to shit for brains Mel," I snarled. "Wow, steady on babe, why so mean?" "Oh she vexes me bad, I hate her sometimes." "Come on what has she done this time?" I shrugged. "Nothing, just being Mel, you know how it is." She wrapped me in her arms and whispered, "Maybe a nice blowjob would take away your anger?" "Well it couldn't hurt." The next day on the bus on our way to Atlanta Mel came and asked Molly if she could sit with me for a while. As we sat she passed me a piece of paper. As I read it I realized she had taken my idea and made a few changes. As I sung it in my head I nodded. "Yeah...that could work. It's definitely better." She said conciliatorily, "We could play it for the girls, say it was collaboration." I shook my head. "Nope, it's your song...you present it." Screwing up her face she asked hesitantly...apologetically, "Are you sure?" I just nodded. Mel called us together at the back and she played it as we bumped along in the back of the bus, of course everybody loved it and she got big hugs from everyone, they all cheered and applauded. The praise from the girls at least made her a little happier at least. She looked as guilty as hell when she peeked up at me, her face bright red with shame. When the bus pulled up outside our hotel Molls and I snuck up to our room, as the door closed behind us she laughed. "You sneaky bitch, that was all you wasn't it? That's why you were in such a bad mood last night?" I shrugged it off. "Yeah, I changed a few things around and when I played it for her last night she got in a snitch." She crashed her lips onto mine. "Babes that was nice, letting her have the credit, you're such a sweetie." "Show me," I growled in a low snarl. She laughed crazily. "Oh stop it... you know you're never going to be able to pull off the tough girl routine." I stripped off her clothes and was about to dive between her legs when the phone went. It was the promoter for tonight's show. She tried to push me away so she could sit up but I pushed her over onto her back. Using her legs she tried to kick and push me away but I was already between them. She was so engrossed in trying to keep a level voice she stopped kicking out and wriggling around. I pushed her legs wide apart and let my tongue do the talking as it slipped into her greasy slit. Their discussion became very one sided all she could say between clenched teeth was. "Uh huh, yeah, sure, yes, whatever." Trying hard to stay calm and not let on but as her orgasm approached, she lost it a little, in the end she just said, "Bye." Wrapping her sexy legs around my head, she held on tight to my head moaning loudly through a powerful orgasm. "You dirty bitch." She grinned. "Christ babe that was the promoter for the gig tonight, I have to meet her in half an hour, now I'm going to have to take a shower, god damn it I hope she didn't hear." She got dressed up real pretty and left me sitting on the bed with my guitar. That turned out to be a waste of time as now nothing came out, my mind was a blur. I decided to wander down to the bar and catch Moll's for a pre-dinner drink. I threw on my little black dress deciding to go braless to tease Moll's. I touched up my makeup and pulled on my new pumps, standing I paraded in front of the mirror pleased with the results...except my legs. Moll's had some moisturizer with glitter infused in it, I took ten minutes to rub it into my legs giving them a little sparkle as I moved. As I walked into the bar it was easy to spot them, they were in a booth way down the back away from the bar. The woman she was talking to and sitting way to close to for my liking was a very beautiful woman, maybe in her late thirties but exuding sexuality. She was dressed in a business suit, but still managed to look friggin hot. They sat side by side in the booth leaning against each other going over some paperwork but after this long with Moll's I learned to read her body language and I knew when she was excited and let me tell you, this was one of those occasions. Watching the other woman's hand running up and down Moll's back in a gentle caressing motion infuriated me, what the hell...this was way past flirting. Her mouth was that close to Moll's ear she almost had it in her mouth. God knows what she was whispering. Moll's was into it as well which is what hurt the most, she leaned against the woman, toying with her hair winding little curls round her finger and stretching them out. Their eyes were locked and although she fluttered them from time to time her gaze never moved as she listened to every word being whispered in her ear. Their hands touched as the woman showed her something and Moll's jumped like she had been electrocuted. I stumbled to the bar and the barman asked, "What do you want?" "Whisky please...a double." I sat on a stool and watched, this was the first time since April that anything like this happened and it made me nervous, uneasy. Maybe it was me, but moments like this just stir up all my old anxieties and insecurities...maybe the reason she flirted with other women was she was unhappy with me, maybe she wanted a real woman not some fucking wimpy guy in a dress. In the end I couldn't take it any longer I got up and walked quietly down to their booth. Moll's never even saw me coming until I stood over them. "Hey Moll's," I rasped. She jumped moving quickly away from her new friend. "Oh hi Mi, um this is Gloria, she is promoting tonight's show. We were just going over the details." Her face flushed and she looked as guilty as sin. Gloria didn't even blink, she leaned across Moll's stretching out her hand. "Hello, so this is the wonderful Mimi I have been hearing so much about, it's a pleasure." I noticed her hand caressing Moll's back was still circulating rubbing small circles. A little angry I snapped, "Yeah that's me, Molly's partner." Her smile turned into a thinly stretched pout. "Yes I got that, Molly hasn't stopped gushing about how pretty you are and I have to say she undersold you...we were just going over some arrangements." Molly tried to smile but she picked up on my irritation and muttered, "Perhaps we should go and leave you to it." She sighed. Gloria stood up and let Molly squeeze past her but not before giving her a quick kiss on the lips. "We can finish off later." She turned and glanced at me. "I'm looking forward to the show, see for myself what all the fuss is about." I turned without replying and walked away with Molly close behind me. Nothing was said until the elevator doors closed behind us, Molly exploded. "Christ you rude bastard, she's the woman who promoted and funded tonight's show and most of the tour, without her this wouldn't be going ahead, I can't believe you were so god damned rude to her." "Fuck her," I snarled, oh wait that's what you wanted to do wasn't it? I could see it in your eyes Molly. I should have listened, you know what they say...once a cheater always a cheater." "OH for god's sake, OK we flirted and I played up to her but nothing fucking happened. Don't go all jealous fucking boyfriend on me now." "I'm not your boyfriend I'm your girlfriend, well I'm not even sure about that any more, jeez Molly we're going to be married or at least we were supposed to be." She gave me an angry glare. "What's that supposed to mean? What exactly are you saying...supposed to? Mi...we were only flirting, jeez girl you know there was nothing in it." "No I don't, I seem to remember you and April in a similar situation." She slipped into my arms. "Babes there's nothing in it. Yes, I flirted, but for god's sake she is a very attractive woman." "I don't care, I'm not going through that again." She sucked in a deep breath. "Yeah well there's nothing to worry about, I'll be surprised if she ever talks to me again and she will most certainly not be helping us get the best gigs at the best venues. Shit Mi we have to play up to these people to get the best deals." "Yeah well if you have to prostitute yourself to get good deals I would rather stay home." She shoved me that hard I banged my head on the elevator door. "You bitch don't you ever talk to me like that again, I was trying to do the best for the band, Gloria is a very big promoter." The elevator doors opened and we walked out like we were walking to our death. Inside we said nothing as we got dressed for dinner. As always, her phone went off and the way she whispered it was obviously Gloria. She locked herself in the bathroom so I couldn't hear but it was hard to miss the giggles. When she emerged, she looked guilty and refused to look at me. Sitting at the table with the band and roadies we were just starting to relax and talk without snapping at each other when Gloria turned up at the table. "Enjoying dinner?" she asked. Molly jumped up and introduced her to the band. Mel had to bite her tongue to stop the drool falling on her plate. Molly rushed over and got a seat for her and she got Mel to move so Gloria could squeeze in between them. The conversation quickly grew becoming quite boisterous as Gloria asked all sorts of questions and laid on the sweet palaver as thick as maple syrup. Mel was in serious lust trying to impress her like a love struck girl but Gloria had eyes for only one girl at our table and that was Molly. She was a very clever woman though and I think she realized she would have to win me over if she was going to get her. She leaned over to get close and try and engage me, "Mimi I understand that you do a lot of the song writing?" I shrugged filling my mouth with food. Taken aback by my coldness she asked, "Have you always been into music?" Her sickly sweet demeanor couldn't fool me, all she wanted was to get to Molly, and the rest of this was just her bullshit act as she played the bigshot. I just kept eating and then turned to talk to Bret one of the roadies. Molly gave me a painful jab in the ribs and a biting glare which I ignored. Gloria ordered a couple of pitchers of margaritas for the table. The girls all dived in but when she passed me a glass I shook my head. Gloria obviously pissed at my snub held up her glass to make a toast. "Well girls here's to a successful night and an even more successful partnership." The table erupted in a loud cheer and the girls all joined her toast which I passed over. They all thanked her for organizing the gig, she laughed it off. "It's my pleasure seeing an all-girl band out there and doing it is something I want to be part of." As soon as dinner was finished, I got up announcing I was going to get changed for the gig. Molly stayed seated beside Gloria mumbling, "I'll be up soon." Back in my room I realized how fragile our relationship really was. I remembered back to when she fooled around with April and her comments about how she didn't believe in monogamy. Since then there had been no signs of that and I had hoped it was in our past, I mean we were going to be married. After today though, I wondered whether Molly had any intention of curbing her wayward ways? Even if we did marry" The fact she made light of my concerns frustrated me. I got out my little schoolgirls outfit, I stripped to pull on my corset. Stretching it in as tight as possible I could and I felt it constricting me, pulling my waist in as tight as humanly possible. The pain did hurt but it eased my mind, the restriction somehow quashing my anxiety. When I bent down to pull up my fishnet stockings I just about blacked out. Clipping on the stockings I slipped on my little panties making sure my dick was held in place. I pulled the plaid skirt up and donned my white blouse. Damn Jas for removing the buttons. It left way to much exposed. Stepping into my sparkly silver stiletto's I stood to see my reflection in the mirror. This trashy slutty thing was wearing thin for me. Yeah it was a cool gimmick but that's all it was a gimmick. This wasn't how any of us dressed in real life. It was a charade, a big fa?ade and it really bothered me. I sat down at the dressing table and started to apply my makeup. I was adding the finishing touches when Molly walked in. Walked in isn't quite right...no...she burst in with the door slamming against the wall and she roared, "Jesus Mi you bitch. I worked damned hard to build that relationship with Gloria over the last couple of months and she has been so helpful. She wants to help us go international later this year and you just about fucked it up with your rude insulting behavior. Would it have hurt to be nice to her for five frigging minutes?" "Fuck her, she's nothing, she is the one who needs us, we don't need her. There are people cuing up to have us play. She's just a dumb bitch playing the bigshot." "Fuck, you just don't get it, she doesn't have to pretend, she's one of the biggest promoters in the country." "Who cares, they're a dime a dozen." "Fuck listen to yourself, the only reason you're behaving like this crazy prissy bitch is because you are jealous. If this is the way you're going to behave maybe we really should look at where we're going?" I think she expected me to back down but I snapped back caustically, "Yeah maybe we should." I picked up my purse and makeup bag and stormed out of the room leaving her standing staring after me. I went down to the auditorium and climbed up on stage, tuned my guitar and busied myself getting ready for the night. Mel walked up on stage and recognized my discomfort. "Are you alright Mi?" I shrugged. "Yeah I suppose." "Can I help?" "No thanks Mel, just give me some space OK." "Wow what crawled up your ass and died?" Angry and hurting I snarled, "Just give me some fucking space OK?" She walked off to do her tuning and preparations. Jas and Cindy arrived and I noticed Mel wave them away when they came over to talk to me. We gathered in the green room waiting for the show to start. There was plenty of booze so I grabbed a drink, pulled my headphones on and sat in the corner brooding. The girls obviously picked up on my bad mood and stayed out of my way. They grouped together to go over the set list and talk about tonight. I was on my second drink when Molly walked in, when she saw me sitting by myself, ignoring me she walked over to the girls and fell into their discussion purposefully ignoring me. I was obviously the topic by the rapid eye movements and hidden finger pointing. With only ten minutes to go before show time Molly came and grabbed the headphones. "Are you going to talk about the show, or are you going to be a bitch all night?" "There's only one bitch in here and girl it ain't me!" Giving me dagger stares she stormed over to the door calling out, "Have a good night girls." She slammed the door and disappeared in a flash oh red. Jas came over and wrapped her arms around me. "What's up babes, you're angry about something." "You saw the way she carried on with Gloria, I caught them earlier cuddled up together. Fuck this is April all over again." Jas hugged me tight. "No babes, she wouldn't do that to you, you're mistaken. She was just flirting like she always does." "No this was different, I saw that look in her eye." Mel and Cindy joined in the group hug and we huddled together until the stage manager came and called us out. As we walked out onto the stage and the lights came on full, the room burst into a huge riotous uproar. The crowd swelled to the front. Jesus, they had packed them in that's for sure. I scanned the room for Molly but with the lights shining brightly in my eyes it was impossible to see anything further back than about three deep. We started with home town and the demons twisting my guts eased a little as we built into it. The crowd erupted and the mosh pit came to life, swaying bouncing jumping bodies were everywhere. Jas started dancing as she does and of course the deafening roar escalated even more. She danced over in front of me and we rocked and swayed in time with our strings almost touching and her face right in mine the crowd pushed over the flimsy fence at the front and surged forward, two girls scrambled up on stage to dance with Jas and me. Jas yelled and sang with them leading them over by her spot so nothing got broken before security dragged them away. All through the night I couldn't shake the anger and I took it out on my guitar playing loud raucous solos, much longer than I usually did, the band thankfully picked up on my mood and covered for me, playing along. I think they recognized I needed to release the anger. At the end of the first set the house lights came back on and the spot lights went off. I took my time scanning the room and soon spotted Molly and Gloria up in a booth together with a bottle of champagne. Their arms were linked and they laughed leaning heavily against each other. When Molly spotted me staring at them she didn't even move, she laid down her challenge. The smug look on Gloria's face said even more and it antagonized me lifting my already bubbling blood pressure. The show went off as I laid down wild guitar solo after solo and when I sang it was loud full throated and Mel followed. Jas and Cindy jumped on board, Jas with her ass rubbing mine as we stood back to back rocking it out. Cindy with a huge smile thundered her way through the songs adlibbing as I stretched out the solos. At one point I was up on the drum riser hanging trills out and Cindy rollicking away like an out of control muppet. We were loud and we rocked. The crowd much wilder and raucous than normal and they went ballistic. After we spent the best part of an hour signing albums and T-shirts and talking to the fans they finally dissipated and we slid into the green room to recover. Two drinks in and Molly walked in with Gloria who looked as happy as could be. "Woo hoo!" She shrieked. "Well girls now I've seen you live I gotta say I see what all the fuss is about...you guys are hot. Holy shit that rocked, I have never seen an audience here go off like that." Mel thanked her for her praise and they hugged. Molly walked over to me. "Babe you were on fire tonight, you should use that every night, and my god those guitar solos were amazing." Gloria wandered over to stand beside Molly and smile seductively at me. "Oh yes indeedy sugar you were super." She turned to the other's. "You were all sensational, look we are going to have to celebrate, what do you say we all have a party up in my room I want you all to come up and we can kick back and enjoy ourselves." There was plenty of head nodding and agreement from the others but I bit my tongue holding back the angry words. When I didn't respond Gloria turned to stare into my eyes. "What about you? Are you coming up for a drink?" I shook my head. "Nope, I am shattered, I'm going to bed." She frowned. "C'mon sugar, just a few drinks, we can all unwind and catch our breath, hell that was some show...surely you want to celebrate." When I just took a long pull on my drink she cooed, "Sugar...it's still early, don't be a party pooper." Molly intervened, "Come on babe just for a while, I'm going." Snarling I spat out, "You can do what you want but I'm going to bed." I turned and walked out to pack up my stuff and head back to my room. As I was folding up my cables Molly walked up behind me. "Babe don't act like this, there's no need for all this childish jealous crap, fuck it's just for a few drinks it's her way of saying well done and thanks." "Fuck her, I'm not interested in anything she has to say." "Babe you might change your mind, she wants to talk about funding a recording deal. When I said we had lots of offers but you wanted to keep it independent she said she was interested and might fund it. Shit after the way you guys played tonight, she's sold. Please I'm begging just come up and talk to her." "Fuck her, I'm going to bed, oh and by the way I will never play for her again. If she is the promoter I'm not interested." Shocked she snarled, "Don't be ridiculous, the band has always talked about getting a deal which allowed us to be independent, not tied to a label, Christ it was your fucking idea for god's sake." "I'm not interested in being part of her bullshit circus. My answer is no!" I stormed off stage with Molly screaming after me. I went back to the hotel room and jumped into the shower where I soaked for a half hour or so. The stinging needles totally did the trick I felt at least a little more relaxed, I climbed into bed trying to sort out my thoughts. This whole thing was fueled by Molly's behavior and yeah it might be jealousy on my part, and yeah it might be petty but nobody wants to see their girlfriend carry on like that with somebody else. Molly was right I was jealous. Mostly though I was infuriated by the woman's effect on her and there was no doubt in my mind if I said it was OK, they would be sleeping together tonight, fuck they probably would anyway. It just brought back all those bitter memories about her and April. It didn't help that I was questioning myself about my appearance and the future. I wanted to be pretty for Molly and I realized my limitations and had secretly started taking hormones again to try and become more female. Now I wondered if I was wasting my time. Sleep was difficult but I did eventually drift off. The door smashing open and Molly stumbling in crashing and banging as she bounced from one bit of furniture to next woke me with a start. When I checked the clock, it was three AM. I watched her stumbling around and it would have been laughable if I wasn't so irate. She lurched over to the bed and collapsed beside me. "Hey babe, I'm home." I pulled the covers up over my head facing away from her as I tried to stay calm. She ripped the blankets back crying. "C'mon you little bitch, don't play hard to get I know you want it." As she reached for me I pushed her away. "Fuck off Molly, go back to your slutty friend." She slumped down beside me. "Oh don't be a bitch, you already missed the party which was awesome by the way. All the girls are laughing at you for being such a fucking sissy." Snatching the blankets back I barked, "Yeah well at least I'm not a cheating slut." Smack...smack... blow after blow rained down on my shoulders and arms as I tried to defend myself. Her fists pounded down on me. "You asshole, you wussy jealous little shithead. We were just having some fun and the girls love the idea of recording so shove that up your ass, it's happening bitch whether you like it or not." Laughing hysterically, I screeched, "Like fuck it is, there's no fucking way I'm doing anything for that slut." "Oh, good fucking lord... jeez Mi you are such a fucking child, what if I did sleep with her, fuck you don't own me, I told you right from the start I don't believe in that monogamous shit." "So, you did sleep with her then?" "No, you dipshit I'm just saying if I did it would've just been for a bit of fun. You can't tell me what to do." "Maybe I can't but I don't have to put up with that bullshit from my wife!" She flopped back on the pillow. "Oh just go back to sleep if you're gonna act like a wimpy bitch, I don't want to hear it." She sucked back a sniffle as she sobbed. "Fuck you Mi you spoilt a wonderful night. We got a record deal and had a great party. Jeez Gloria wants to really push us she wants to get us overseas. It would take us to the next level." "I don't care," I snorted. "Just go to sleep." With the blankets pulled up I was soon serenaded to sleep with first her sobs then her snores. This had spiraled out of control so fast, no less than a day earlier we were on top of the world and if anybody had suggested we would be having this fight right now I would have laughed my head off. An independent record release recorded in a top notch studio was my dream. The other girls had been happy to accept any one of the many labels who had been fighting for our signature but I held out because I wanted to maintain a level of control over the release and the quality. To have it within our grasp was awesome but to have that manipulative bitch in charge made me want to vomit. In the morning I wandered down to breakfast still feeling like shit, I had hardly slept and I felt terrible. Molly was still in bed snoring like a frigging tractor so I left her. The roadies were all there lined up filling their plates from the buffet. Grabbing a plate, I filled my plate and sat down with them a decent breakfast was exactly what I needed. Cindy and Jas drifted down first and Cindy commented innocently unaware of the drama. "You missed a great party last night girl, it was a blast. Did Molly tell you we have our record deal? It's happening, I can't believe it." Jas hi fived her adding, "Hell yeah and a trip overseas as well, man what a buzz." I kept my mouth shut trying to maintain control and swallow back the stinging vitriolic obscenities that swelled within me. Mel wandered out as well and she was happier than any of them. She gave me a smug glare. "Well have you heard? We are on our way baby. Gloria said she would have the paperwork drawn up and if we can delay leaving till eleven, we can have it finalized, signed sealed and delivered. I couldn't hold it back any longer, I snapped loudly, "Girls I'm not working with that woman. I don't like her and I'm not signing anything, she's a manipulator." Mel spat out with a snarling hiss, "Now hang on one god damned minute Mi...this is what you wanted, we turned down all those fucking record labels waiting for this and now you're not signing...no way girl we are signing." Antagonized by her pushy attitude I barked back, "Mel you can do what you want but I'm not signing anything. I'm not working with her." Just then Gloria came bustling up, her hair done, her makeup perfect looking spectacular. "Good morning girls, I have just got off the phone with my lawyer and she is getting the papers drawn up right now. We should have them here before you leave." Sensing tension, she gazed around the group. "What is going on? Is there a problem? Is there something wrong with the food? And where the hell is Molly, I just got off the phone with her?" At that moment Molly wandered in looking very second hand, puffy red eyes and she didn't look well. "Hey guys." Her and Gloria hugged, Gloria giving her a quizzical glare as she pulled out a seat across the table from me. Gloria who was still standing mumbled, "Will somebody please tell me what's going on?" Staring up at her I blurted out angrily, "I'm not signing. I don't know what you all talked about last night but I'm out." She leaned on the table glaring at me. "Mimi, Last night you girls blew my socks off and I loved the show. I think you guys can be huge, what I want to do is this, I will fund your independent record deal. I will pay for it and set up distribution and we will share the profits and I want to include not only a huge national tour but I want to take this overseas, make it truly international. If we can really nail home that album, I believe you have at least three number one hits in your set. After watching you guys last night, I'm more convinced than ever you're the real deal. I want in." "Yeah well that's tough because I don't like what you're selling...Lady, I don't trust you not one damn bit." She gazed around the rest of the band with a stunned confused expression twisting her face. "Girls, is that how you all feel? Is that what you all think? Do you think that little of me?" She looked around the group which was silent. "Girls I thought last night you liked my suggestions? I thought you were all into it?" Mel gave me a nasty glare before she growled, "We are, Jas, Cindy and I are totally on board. We like what you suggested and if the contract says the same damn thing then we are ready to sign." She turned back to me and gave me an angry glare, challenging me, defying me to say no. Gloria sighed. "Well if that's the case, who has signing rights for the band?" She glanced at Molly. "Well is there a spokesperson? Molly I thought you were the damn manager?" I snapped, "Nope we have nothing signed, we do everything by agreement." Caustically she growled, "If that's the case can we get some sort of consensus...who's in?" The other girls all muttered their approval even Moly said, "For what it's worth, I think it's a fabulous deal. Mi I'm begging you don't let petty jealousy get in the way of making the right decision." Gloria's steely gaze fell on me. "Can somebody please tell me what's going on Jealously...I don't understand?" Mel answered, "Mi thinks you are after Molly, that is right isn't it Mi?" Standing up I snarled, "Gloria I think you are an unscrupulous bitch I saw you with your hands all over Molly. I wouldn't work with you for any amount of money." "Oh, for heaven's sake, you can't be serious...how dare you attack me like that....what in tarnation are you talking about...unscrupulous?" Leaning closer she spat out a deadly hiss "And how dare you insult me like that, so we flirted, big deal." Barking angrily, I spat out, "Flirting my ass, Molly is my partner you scheming bitch, I saw you pawing all over her like a bitch in heat. You can shove your contract." I flung my chair back sending it flying across the floor and walked off heading back up to our room to pack. By the time I got down to the bus the other girls were loading their gear. It was deathly silent. "Where's Molly?" I asked. "She's trying to sort things out with Gloria before we leave. Jesus Mi what a fucking mess. You can be a real piece of work you know. Fuck that deal was everything we ever dreamed and talked about." "Yeah well if you want it take it, just find another guitar player." Jas heard and came running over. "Babes relax, we aren't getting another player. We are in this together but we need to talk. I mean we will never even see this woman again, we will be using her money to get what we want, that's all. Jeez we don't have to deal with her we can leave that all up to Moll's." Shaking my head angrily I hissed, "Don't you get it Jas, I don't want Molly hanging around her." She hugged me tight. "Babes, if Moll's was going to cheat she could do it whether we accept her offer or not. "Yeah you're right, I understand she could do it any time and I've just come to that realization, but I'll be damned if I'm going to be contracted to the woman who stole her from me." We were sitting in the bus when Molly came stumbling in, She sat down on the sofa in the middle of the bus and announced, "We need to talk." The others found seats where they could hear her and she glared back at me snapping, "You as well Mi." "Carry on I can hear well enough." "Have it your way." She turned back to the girls and spoke with a determined quiet purpose, "Look guys this deal is too good to pass up. Gloria is offering us everything we have ever talked about but she's not messing around. We need to make our minds up. She has given us a week to sort this shit out, sorry but I can't do any more." Mel nodded. "Na you've done good Moll's you're right. I think we should vote on it. I mean we have always tried to do the right thing. If we vote then it's the democratic thing." Jas and Cindy nodded in agreement. Molly added her agreement with a curt nod. I felt like they were all staring at me and I felt cornered. "It's pointless voting, we all know that you guys are going to vote yes. I'm not doing it. I refuse to work with her. You can vote, say whatever, do whatever but I ain't working for her. If you want to do it then I'll finish the tour and you can find somebody to replace me." "Oh fuck off Mi you love this band," Molly snorted derisively. "Yeah that's true but I'm not working with her end of story." Mel growled, "Well I want that deal, I've said all along I want a record deal." Jas sighed. "I don't want to do anything to break up the band. If Mi doesn't want to do it then I'm voting no." Cindy shuddered. "Fuck this Mi, it's not fair you're holding us all to ransom and that's not fair. Jesus it was just some stupid flirting. I'm voting with Mel, it's a yes from me." Molly sighed. "I agree, we have to do it." Scowling I yelped, "You don't get a fucking vote, you're not in this band." I heard the other girls all suck in deep breaths and I watched as Molly swallowed back whatever she was going to say. We sat in silence for what felt like hours before Molly stood up and said, "Mi can we talk outside for a minute?" She walked out and I followed her as she walked away from the bus deeper into the carpark. She kept walking and I caught up. As we walked, she asked, "Babe what the hell is going on? What the hell is this all about? Jesus it can't be just about the flirting." "It's about yesterday and the way you were carrying on with Gloria, tell me honestly did you sleep with her last night?" "No, you idiot, of course not. I have never lied to you. We flirted, we even kissed a few times, but that was it." "OK let me rephrase that did she want to sleep with you?" Kicking an invisible pebble, she replied, "Yes she did, I'm not denying there was a connection between us but I didn't do anything." "So, you think kissing and fooling around is OK." "Jesus Mi it was all innocent stuff. She is a very direct person and I'm attracted to that." "I asked before if she wanted to sleep with you...I suppose the question I should have asked was, do you want to sleep with her?" With her eyes staring at the ground she whimpered hesitantly, "Yes, OK the answer is yes. Look we have talked about this, you know my feelings on monogamy, it's an outdated philosophy but damn it I didn't do anything." "The problem is Moll's you want to which proves to me you're not happy with me." A poor innocent empty coke can received a vicious kick as she muttered, "Oh for the love of god, I didn't do anything, fuck if you would just open your mind you might have had some fun yourself." I snorted loudly and I knew I shouldn't throw fuel on the fire but the words tumbled out, "Fuck that, god knows what diseases you would catch." "God almighty I should have expected something like that from you, for a man who wears a fucking dress you are so fucking narrow minded and bigoted. For your information she thinks you're hot....fuck knows why, you toxic bitch." Shocked and humiliated at her outburst I muttered, "I guess I should've known what you really think of me, a man in a dress huh...Yeah I should have seen this coming." She grimaced. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that." "Suck it Molly, I don't care what anybody says, I'm not working with that woman." "So, what that's it, months of work down the drain, do you know how many hours I've spent working on this. Babe we put this together for you, it was you who refused to go with a major label. This deal was all for you." I turned walking away leaving her standing staring at my back. "Sorry but my answer is no." She snarled viciously, "Fuck you Mi your petty insecure jealousy is what this is all about. You are tearing the band apart because of it. Shit girl you're wrecking everything we've been working for." "Yeah well at least I didn't have to sleep with some bitch to get it, I have my dignity." "Dignity...fuck you could have had a number one record. A world tour, we could be in Germany, England. Do you understand, she's talking about spots at Glastonbury." When we got back to the bus Mel said, "Jas has changed her mind, she wants to sign." When I glanced at Jas she mouthed, 'SORRY.' Mel held my gaze. "It's up to you Mi, you're either in or out." I think they all expected me to fold and just go with it but I shrugged. "I guess that's it then, I'm out. I'll leave now if you want." Jas walked over slowly and ran her fingers through my hair. "Babes there's no need for all this. Let's just do the tour." She turned to Molly. "Moll's just try to stall Gloria until after the tour." "Sorry girls I have tried but she is playing hard ball. I don't think I can stall her any longer, she gave us a week." Jas almost in tears whispered croakily, "Mi let's just do the tour and whatever is going to happen happens, I don't want you to leave, this is as much your band as ours. We wouldn't even be having this conversation if it wasn't for you." The bus trip was uncomfortably silent Molly sat with the others leaving me by myself. The animosity was palpable, to try and cut out their chatter I pulled on my big headphones and turned the music up loud. At the hotel It got worse Molly organized for her own room. The show went amazingly well but the bus was cold and lonely. The only one talking to me was Jas. Even Cindy was pissed at me. Each day it got worse and worse the walls built got higher and thicker. By the time we got back to Kansas City I had enough and as we were all getting ready to get off the bus I cornered them all. "I think you should do tonight without me. You should get used to the idea." Mel snarled, "You know what bitch, I think that's a fucking great idea, unload your shit and hit the fucking road." I nodded. "You got it, have a good night." As the roadies unloaded, I put my gear aside. Molly walked up behind me and grabbed my arm. "Mi please I beg you don't do this. Gloria is going to be here tonight, she wants to talk to you. Please do the show, make it a good one, and show her what we can do. She is travelling here just to talk to you and you might be surprised at what she has to say." Flinging her arm away I walked away and rang April to see if she could give me a ride back to Lawrence. As the girls were setting up, I loaded my gear into April's car. She asked what the hell was going on. I gave her the abbreviated version but as we were getting ready to leave Molly came running out. April saw her and they ended up hugging tightly. I didn't hear what was said but afterwards Molly walked over to me. "What happens to us?" I shook my head. "There is no us, not any more. You want Gloria well have her but not while I'm around." She burst into tears, slid her engagement ring off her finger and passed it to me. "I don't care what you say Mi I love you. I didn't do anything to deserve all this. I don't want to end like this, I hate you for walking away, you're a chicken shit quitter, a fucking coward." I nodded. "I guess you're right, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if my partner is sleeping with somebody else, or has the hots for somebody else. I want my partner to love me the way I love her." We left and on the drive to Lawrence April tried to get me to change my mind, she told me some home truths, I knew what Molly was like so I shouldn't have been surprised but it didn't mean she loved me any less. She just has different values, she thinks casual sex is OK, that sex and love are different commodities. When she left, I flopped on the bed and closed my eyes and bawled my eyes out. My phone started ringing but I switched it off, curled up in a ball and tried to block out the world. It took me a couple of days to get my act together enough to turn my phone on. There were literally hundreds of calls and messages. There were all the ones I expected, Jas, Molly, April but there were a whole bunch I didn't recognize. As I listened to some of them, I got quite a shock, lots were from reporters looking for confirmation that I left the band. They were all feeding like rabid dogs looking for any tit bit they could get. When I checked our Facebook page there were posts after post about how bad the performance was at Kansas and that the band sucked. A lot of the comments were really disparaging. Mom called and rather than beat me down she just talked about what I was going to do. As we talked, I got a bit of an understanding of what I wanted. "I'm going to finish my degree and just find myself. I think being part of the band took away a little of myself." Mom just said, "Sweetheart you do whatever is best for you but I can't help thinking you have acted very hastily. I know how much Molly loves you and she misses you like crazy." "Yeah then why did she sleep with Gloria?" The phone went silent and I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. "Sorry mom, I shouldn't have said that." I heard her sniffle. "I'm sorry Marion, if she did that then she was wrong. That is very wrong." Monday I went back to school. At lunchtime I turned my phone on and there was a very angry message from Molly, 'WHY DID YOU TELL MOM I SLEPT WITH GLORIA....YOU MALICIOUS LYING BITCH, NOW SHE HATES ME.' I turned my phone off without answering it. The first couple of days were hard, just getting back into the routine but the comments as well. Some were supportive but there were some quite nasty hateful ones as well. Most of our real fans just wanted to know what was going on. I kept it simple, I left the band to finish school. There were no hard feelings I wanted them to do well. Two weeks later Molly turned up on my doorstep. When I opened the door she grimaced. "Hey Mi, can I come in?" Swinging open the door she walked in carrying some boxes. "I just came to get my stuff." I left her to it and she started packing. I tried to ignore her but as I was walking into the kitchen she slipped up behind me. "Are you doing OK babe?" I nodded. "Yeah school has been keeping me occupied. You guys must be just about set to head away on the final leg of the tour, aren't you?" She shook her head. "Nope it got canned, the gig in Kansas was terrible and Gloria pulled her offer. We are trying to find a replacement guitar player now but it's been harder than you might think. Gloria made some suggestions but they just didn't work. We can't find a female that fits. Gloria said we should just get a guy and the ones she suggested are pretty good, Guess we will wait and see." "Sorry to hear that," I grumbled. She slid her arms around my waist. "Honey Gloria wants to talk to you." I laughed. "Forget that shit, but seeing as how we are talking about her, you can be honest now, did you sleep with her?" The fact she couldn't hold my eyes gave me the answer. "No not like you think. I didn't sleep with her until after we broke up." "Was she worth it?" Her grip tightened and she sighed. "I wouldn't have done it if we were still together. I would never cheat on you I promise I would never do anything behind your back," "Maybe but you do want to have sex with other people, I saw you with Gloria and I knew it the moment I saw you snuggled up like lovers, you weren't just flirting...that was way past acceptable." She sighed. "Yes but that's just the way I am, I have never hidden that from you, look Mi we have had this discussion I see love and sex as different things, if I had slept with Gloria it wouldn't have reduced my love for you, the two things are different." "I guess we will have to agree to disagree on that one. Things have been so good between us, I thought things had changed, you agreed to marry me." "That is just a bit of paper, I love you and I want to be with you forever but I enjoy sex and if I meet somebody like Gloria, I would like the freedom to pursue that." She gave me a weird look. "Babe there was more to her advances than you realize, she was interested in being with both of us not just me. That night while you were playing, she asked if you would be interested and I hoped you would but then you got all bitter and twisted and fucked it up." "That's where we're different Moll's I don't need anybody else, all I ever wanted was you." "Bullshit, after we broke up the first time you were chasing Sandy within weeks." "I never chased her, if anything it was the other way around. Not that it did any good, it was a waste as well." "Mi we want you back in the band, Gloria wanted to talk, she will offer you a very lucrative deal, more than the other girls get if you'll come back." "Sorry there's no way I could do that, the other girls would hate that I got more money than them, and seeing you every day would be too difficult." When she just stood there biting her bottom lip I hissed, "And seeing you and Gloria together would kill me." "For Christ's sake, she lives in LA, we talk on the phone that's it. I slept with her twice that's all." "But if she comes back or you go over there you will sleep with her again?" She shrugged. "We might, but probably not, look babe she is like me she likes casual sex, she doesn't want commitments or ties." "Do you want me to help carry your boxes down?" I asked. "So that's it...won't you even think about coming back to the band." "I would love to be back in the band, but it would have to be without you or Gloria." She flinched painfully but thought for a few minutes. "What if I organized another manager and I stayed out of it?" "Yeah if you gave it up and we did our own thing, no Gloria." "We can't do that, the band signed a contract, please just think about it. Gloria wouldn't be around much, you wouldn't see her." I laughed. "No fucking way, I want nothing to do with the toxic bitch." "Then there's no point the girls want to work with her, they like her and they at least appreciate what Gloria is trying to do for them." I shrugged. "Well there's no sense talking longer. I will help you carry your bags down." At school I concentrated all my energy on finishing my degree and now without the band I had time to work on my own album. I had amassed a pile of songs written that didn't fit the band, now I was free to concentrate on them and I of course wrote a lot of break up songs. I had plenty of emotion to draw on for those. The melancholy pile made Taylor swift look like a beginner. Late at night I used the school's studio for recording. I kept the format simple, no band just guitar or cello. The late nights and focus on study did take my mind off Molly but there was a problem looming, money... without the income from the band my bank balance dwindling quickly. I needed to think about a job. When I thought about going back to stacking shelves it sent shivers down my spine. I thought maybe I could talk to April, maybe she might have something. She did offer me my old job back but she also suggested busking When I thought about the format for all my new songs, I knew they were good and worked without a band, so they would be fine for busking, maybe I could make enough to keep me going. The next day I only had the one class so I grabbed my guitar and set up down town and started busking. Within minutes I had a crowd gathered around and my guitar case filled quickly. I still had a few Lips CD's which I sold as well, it amazed me how many fans the band and for that matter I had. The comments I got from fans wanting to talk was mostly about how they were sorry I left the band. At the end of the day I had a hundred and fifty bucks. Pretty respectable, by the end of the week I had made over five hundred, but better than that I had a couple of solo gigs booked. Thing were looking up. The first gig was a Sunday session at the replay lounge. It only paid three hundred bucks but beggars can't be choosers. The venue required me to do some advertising, I figured the easiest way was to put together a Facebook page and run advertising from there. First decision, what would I call myself, after lots of consideration I decided on 'Just Mimi'. Once I set it up I started to get followers. I circulated flyers pasting them on as many shop fronts as possible and I was on my way. The first gig was a nightmare I was so nervous. But as I worked through my song list which included some carefully selected covers, I had the crowd eating it up. Guys as well as girls loved the songs, slow with feeling, bluesy country ballads with a bit of raw bite. More Lucinda Williams than Adele, Bob Dylan with less gravel, a little like Jewel on steroids, maybe even Gillian Welch. I wanted my songs to have lyrics that spoke from the heart, deep and meaningful. Of course, I was requested to play some Lips songs and I did, although I did my versions of them and I chose the songs I had written rather than Mel's songs. My second gig was another Sunday session at the S&S Artisan Pub and Coffeehouse. The atmosphere was great and like my first gig I got a good audience, my rep was growing and I got a shock. In the audience were Molly, Mel, Jas and Cindy. They sat at the back and watched and listened. I saw them have a laugh when I played a couple of the lip's songs, although I noticed the laughs died down when I received a huge round of applause. After finishing up they walked up and we all hugged, Mel was first. "I gotta say Mi, that was pretty cool, not sure about a couple of the songs though." Jas pushed past her and hugged me tight. "Oh babes I have missed you, forget what these losers said I thought you were great, I loved it." Cindy with her usual diffident chilled persona muttered, "You were pretty good although you would get paid more if you wore that sexy school girl costume." The girls all laughed. Molly went last. "You were great, I loved it those songs are really wonderful." I thanked them all and the bar manager spotted us a few drinks, he recognized the girls and I think he thought he might be able to get the lips to play. It was pointless avoiding the elephant in the room so I asked, "So how's the band going?" Mel muttered, "We aren't at the moment, we are trialing a new guitar player tomorrow night. Hopefully he'll be OK." "He...holy crap on a cracker...wonders will never cease." She sneered, "Not my choice I would rather go without but these morons twisted my arm, we heard him on a demo and he sounds alright, but I guess we'll see how it pans out." They all left together although Molly lingered. "So how's school going?" Shaking my head, I muttered, "Just trying to get through the year and pass. What about you?" She shook her head as well. "I don't know babe, I'm a bit lost to be honest." I nodded along. "Yeah I know how you feel." Grabbing my hand, she gave it a squeeze. "Babe, please come back, the girls want you back, please I'm begging you." "No Moll's that boat sailed, there's no way back for me while they're contracted to that witch." She sulked, kicked her chair away and stormed off in a huff. At school I worked hard on my album and after two months I had what I thought was a pretty good product. It was selling well while I busked and at the Sunday sessions I was playing. But out of the blue I got a call from the Bottle Neck asking if I would open for the lips Saturday night. Open for them...Initially I refused but when he rang back offering me seven hundred bucks I folded and agreed. It was a bit cheeky and I knew how they would promote it, 'former member opens for band.' I wasn't happy about that aspect but I guess I was interested in seeing the new guy." As I was setting up the girls arrived and started setting up their own gear. The guy Wayne seemed like a nice enough guy, very good looking, tall and with long hair designer stubble and well dressed, black slacks, a crisp white shirt and a vest, very chic. Molly bustled around, I could see she wanted to talk but I found other things to keep me occupied. Eventually she caught me and asked almost apologetically, "Mi, could you please, not play any of the Lip's songs we will be playing?" I chuckled. "I am only playing my songs the ones I wrote, they are still mine, I still hold copyright on them I showed her my set list and she scowled, "Really...oh c'mon babe, they are the Lips songs now and you know it." "Yeah well who wrote them?" "OK I get it you wrote them but they belong to the band and they are on our set list for tonight." "Guess the audience will hear them twice then." "Fuck why are you being so stubborn and hardnosed, Christ if I hadn't pushed you wouldn't have even been offered this gig and you only have to play for half an hour you have plenty of other songs you could sing." I sneered stubbornly. "I got this gig because the owner saw it as a chance to promote it. You've seen all the posters and shit. You read them right...Former member opens for band...that's me, former member." She went silent for a while. "Please, I'm begging you...Gloria is going to be here tonight to see the new line-up and hopefully we will get the record deal back on track." "You convinced me of one thing, now I am definitely playing my songs because they are mine, I still hold the copyright and nobody else is recording them without my permission." Her jaw just about hit the floor when I turned and walked away. Back at my apartment I took a lot of time getting ready, choosing my outfit carefully. I wanted to look sexy but not slutty, I would leave that for the girls. I wanted to separate myself from the old image. I chose a bright lemon dress that with the help of the corset fitted closely and the way it flared out accentuated my shape making my hips more prominent. The bodice was low enough to show plenty of cleavage without looking slutty the hem line finished mid-thigh. Wearing pantyhose with a nude color showed off my legs especially with the matching shoes a modest three inch heel with straps that tied around my ankles. I loved the look, when I did a twirl and the dress flared out I felt sexy but holy shit, now I even looked like Taylor swift. My makeup I kept simple, pretty but simple. I added a silver eye shadow, dark mascara and a fleshy pink lipstick. I topped it with some glitter to add some pizazz. Once I arrived at the bottle Neck rather than go into the green room where I figured I wasn't going to be that popular I sat out in the audience with a couple of girls from school. As I sat somebody shouted loudly, "Boo!" In my ear and when I turned it was April and Sandy. They both gave me big hugs and plenty of kisses. "What are you guys doing here?" I asked April blurted, "C'mon do you think we were going to miss our two favorite acts. We sort of hoped you might get up with the girls and play a few songs." I laughed. "Not likely, but thanks for coming along." As I waited for my call we talked about work, school and I thanked her for the busking suggestion. "You haven't considered getting back with the band?" Sandy asked. "Na...that's finished I think." Just then I got a wave from the stage manager and I was up. "Good luck." They called as I walked up onto the stage. After accepting this gig, I changed up some of my songs, I decided to start with Home Town it was the first song that the lips confiscated. As I stepped up on stage the crowd started chanting my name and swelled forward. Most of them didn't know what to expect. I opted to forgo my acoustic guitar and strapped on my Telecaster set the gain to high, stomped on my tube screamer and started with a powerful crunchy into, faster than when played by the Lips and with a lot more bite but the crowd recognized it and the chanting started to build rapidly. When I broke into the vocals that's when the screaming and foot stomping kicked off. The mosh pit filled with people swirling and dancing wildly. It wasn't packed but when I slipped into a wild guitar solo it filled immediately. I kept it fast with stinging notes and overdrive driven feedback. As I finished, I let the feedback die slowly decaying gradually. I introduced myself to a tumultuous reception and then I started into another of the songs we did in the band, although this was a faster version which kept the dance floor filled especially when I went into a wild crunchy guitar solo with the big muff adding some real balls. As I glanced out at the audience I smiled, their new guitar player better be good or he was going to be dead meat. I slowed it down for my next song relying on the really riffy blues tempo to carry it. Of course, the soaring vocals helped. I sensed the crowd getting behind me and they lifted me forcing me on. I knew I was doing OK and although I wanted to play some of my new stuff to make a point, I made sure I played every one of my songs that the band usually did. At the end of the set I got three encores and I went way over time. Walking off stage I was ambushed by a huge swell of fans. I had a bunch of CD's for sale which went like hot cakes, I sold out within ten minutes. As the band was setting up Molly approached looking aggravated "You miserable malicious asshole, that was such a shitty thing to do. I told you those songs are on the girls list." With a loud huff I spat out, "Then they better be good." "Oh fuck off they can't play them now can they? They'll look stupid. You fucking ruined their first night." "I ruined nothing, I told you I was going to play my songs." "Yeah well I expected you to show them some respect. Jesus Mi, they are your friends for god's sake, shit I thought you would let them shine for their first gig." "They can still do that, it's not like they don't have their own songs." She breathed out deeply. "Yeah but your songs are the most popular and you know it." I packed away my gear into my wagon and went back inside to sit with April and Sandy. As I sat down April hugged me. "My god little bro you rocked, holy hell." "You were awesome babe," Sandy added with a hug. "Really good, you should have heard all the great comments." "Oh hell yeah," April spluttered. The Lips were on stage and getting ready, it was then that I saw Gloria sitting in a booth off to the side by herself. She stared at me with a twisted disconcerted expression. As the band was set to blast into their first song Molly slipped into the booth beside her and they shared a quick kiss as their arms joined. The band started with Cherry Red lips which was always a good start, Cindy started with her rolling drums, Jas came in on cue with her bass groove and they were away. Mel chimed in with her vocal and guitar, the new guy waited before adding his touch. He was a good player although I critiqued his playing assessing his sound to be very thin and way to distorted, more metal than rock. It was when he added his vocal it fell apart, his voice was a baritone and quite gravelly. Not what the crowd was used to. Yeah, they got the crowd moving but the songs lacked finesse. I watched for a few minutes before making my excuses. April was a bit upset with me but I think she understood. As I was leaving, they jumped up onto the dance floor. Just as I was about to climb into my car I got a tap on the back, it was Molly and when I looked past her Gloria as well. "Mi can we talk to you please?" "No not tonight Moll's I want to get home." Gloria stepped forward. "Mimi your set was very good, better than good actually, it was stunning...I have to say I'm very impressed. You know I could get your career moving, you could be playing much better venues than this." "Sorry I only work with people I respect." Gloria grimaced, her mouth drawing into a tight sneer. "Mi I know things didn't exactly get off on the right foot with us, but I would like to think you are big enough and professional enough to get passed that. Darling if you want a solo career I could help you get it." "Sorry, but the answers still no." I meant to get in and drive away but my anger got the better of me and I spat out, "You know you people fucking amaze me, you have no morals, no scruples. Loyalty means nothing to you. You cheat and lie have sex with other people without considering the consequences and then expect people like me to just accept that is who you are...let me tell you that's not the way it works." Molly tried to interrupt but I was in the zone and blustered past her. "No Molly you came here and wanted to talk so here it is. I loved you and would have given my life for you but you chose to sleep with this skanky old bitch instead. Gloria you are a slut, you can try to hide behind the concept of recreational casual sex but the bottom line is you are just a cheap slut." Before either of them could interrupt I added, "Nobody cares about you, yes maybe your power gets some chicks but in ten years you will be old ugly and alone. You have no friend's only enemies. I don't know how many relationships you have destroyed but I'll bet there is a cue a mile long of scorned lovers waiting to stick a knife in your back." I wound up my window crunched the car into gear and reversed out wildly with the wheels spinning and gravel flying. When I got home I climbed straight into bed and sobbed until I was exhausted and fell asleep on my sodden pillow. The next day the papers were full of terrible reviews, the lips were heavily criticized although I was treated to a couple of great reviews. My Facebook page was full of glowing reviews. From that the gigs kept coming and with the end of the semester rapidly approaching I had to focus on my degree. I was pretty confident, I had put together a pretty strong final production and my essays and papers were all complete. My album constituted my final assessment. The only thing missing was companionship. I was lonely. I did get asked out on a few dates but the girls seemed more interested in my celebrity status than my personality, or they were curious about a girl with a dick. I used that on occasion although it made me feel like a dipshit I balanced it out convincing myself they were getting what they wanted, I never led them on and there was never any misconceptions, it was just sex. It was difficult because subconsciously I compared them all to Molly, and nobody could win in that comparison. I still felt the attraction and my dreams were still filled with visions and memories of her. She was my soul mate and I owed so much to her. It was her who pushed me into music, it was only her pushing that forced me out of my self-imposed prison, it was her who made me look in the mirror and accept who I really was. The magical relationship I now had with my mother, it was all down to her. She was an enigma that's for sure, so caring and yet so cruel. She didn't lie or cheat she was right about that but she disregarded my concerns regarding fidelity, she trampled it into the ground. Just because she accepts casual sex as a thing she ignored the fact that I couldn't do likewise. So with my graduation day closing in I sank all my attention into that. Graduation day found me standing amongst my class members awaiting our call to the stage to receive our degrees. This was it, after today it was all over, my journey complete, I have to say I was flooded with emotion. That was it, school and that phase of my life was finished, four years of hard work. Sitting at home I flopped back on the bed and pondered what to do with my life. Busking isn't really a career, but I was getting regular gigs at local bars now, mostly Sunday lunch or evening gigs but after opening for the lips I did get the occasional request from the Bottle neck for Saturday night, or weeknight gigs. That meant I was getting by financially, actually I was doing alright. I had money in the bank, in fact I had saved enough that I didn't have to busk if I didn't want to. Nights were lonely without my Molly, I missed her, I missed her a lot and I often cursed myself for letting things get out of hand. If I had just accepted her casual sex approach would it have been that bad? Should I have just accepted it? Maybe she was right...maybe I would have enjoyed a tryst with Gloria? All questions I couldn't answer. It was time to accept and move on.