Ronald K. Pump Destroys Jarvanka's Pussy! free porn video

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The following is an act of fiction. All characters are figments of imagination.

(Ronald K. Pump lies in bed, atop the covers. He wears a puffy white bathrobe and has Cocks News blaring in the background. Ronald is in dim spirits. He is sipping a Diet Croak, half-heartedly scrolling his phone, and lamenting his current life.)

Ronald: This job sucks. I used to have the most tremendous, most incredible life.

I had helicopters and shit. I was banging underwear models, beauty pageant contestants, IG floozies ... I did whatever I wanted. ANYTHING I wanted. Anywhere! I could fuck any broad! Any broad I wanted!

Now I can’t do shit. I can’t fuck anyone. Ronald K. Pump can’t get pussy? What the fuck? Like I’m a loser, like I’m an incel?

I actually have a job now! A job! Like a putz! A working stiff! This is bullshit! Bullshit! Believe me, big league bullshit!

Not even Stelania will fuck me anymore. Gold-digger tramp won’t share the same bedroom. Used to be I could close my eyes and think of prettier younger women while I gave her the hot beef injection.

Not anymore. The bitch. Washed up, has been, good for nothing whore!

Not that I really wanna fuck that old bag anyway. She’s certainly reached her expiration date, believe me. She sure hasn’t aged well at all.

She could take some lessons from that MILF French first lady. Hell, I’d bang the shit out of that Frenchie fuckbag right now.

What the fuck? What is this shit? I’m a billionaire. I am a fucking billionaire. I have A LOT OF MONEY. TED TRILLION ZILLION DOLLARS.

These pansies, cryin’ snowflakes on Shitter, PNN, making me out to be an animal.

Ronald K. Pump is no animal. I have standards. I don’t just go and grab any pussy. Only the finest, first class, classiest, premium pussy does Ronald K. Pump grab.

Fucking glibtards. Washed up Haxine Maters, Cryin’ Fuck and Crazy Nanny, making out Ronald K. Pump to be a baboon running around, pinning down and mounting anything with a twat.

What do they think I am, Horny Bill? Big Bitch Banging Clitting? Not that I blame the goofball. Crooked Shillary and those cankles? Nasty woman! Get the hell outta here! I’d rather fuck Plus Size Blue Dress Veronica too...

Under normal circumstances, however, no, zero chance, no way, hombre. Ronald K. Pump only fucks the top-notch snatch. Only the hottest, finest, sweetest, hard body heinie.

Only the pure ass. The roundest, softest and firmest and shapeliest ass. The most stupendous tail that ever filled out a dress. That’s the sorta tail Ronald K. Pump gets.

But not now, no!

Goddammit, I hate this job. Every day, another stupid thing to deal with when I’m trying to watch TV, play golf. There’s always some stupid bullshit, some twinkle toed flunky knocking on my door, “Mr. Proctologist, we need you...” BORING!

Always some loser wanting my time. Some cuck. Always another schedule. Another thing I have to do. It sucks!

I wish they would impair me. I’d ditch that old bag Stelania and find a new piece of hot young ass.

I’d go on Instablam and find the hottest, tightest paddle target, eat a mouthful of BlowChew, and beast-fuck that choice pussy.

I’m a billionaire. A BILLIONAIRE. I can snap my fingers and pussy will appear. Rub my cock and magic genie Dream of Jeannie pussy appears. Magic carpet pussy.

I’M A FUCKING TRILLIONAIRE. I can order PUSSY ON DEMAND. ONE CLICK PUSSY. Delivery pussy. Pizza pussy. Drone pussy. I could push a button and pussy flies in from a drone through my window.

Pussy crawling out the fireplace, Santa Pussy, pussy under the Christmas tree, jingle bell pussy, dammit!

ANY PUSSY I WANT.

But not now, not now, for fuck’s sake ... This stupid being Proctologist bullshit!

Truth is, I haven’t even seen a living, breathing, live ham wallet since the champagne. Sure, I tried to fuck a few of my champagne maids, but no luck.

Stupid snowflake millennials. They’re the worst. Buncha wacky man buns and SJW poser losers and stuck-up phone addict data cunts.

Used to be all my secretaries would give me meat curtains on demand.

Push a button under my desk and a big buhzumba secretary would rush into the room, yank up her skirt and down with the panties. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am. Send her home to her husband.

But not these millennial, whiny crybabies. Stingy with the pussy, believe me.

Like Smoking Hot Dope Dicks. Couldn’t even get her to jerk me off. The hell is this world coming to!?

Sure, the old hag, horny horseface Smellyanne offered to blow me. Yeah, right, like I’m Crazy Bertie Kanders with an old shriveled up turtle dick. For Crazy Bertie that old dog is a piece of ass.

But not for me. I only fuck quality. I fuck porn stars, for crying out loud. I’m a fucking Gazillionaire!

Yeesh, had this nightmare the other night that that fatty Tara Flanders walked into the Oval Orifice in an S&M suit and said I could give her a quick one, only in the ass.

Said I couldn’t have her pussy and anal wouldn’t be sodomy or cheating on her husband and that Jeebus would want me to be happy.

Lard-ass slut bent over, spread her cheeks, showed me the chocolate starfish and then I woke up in a cold sweat!

Yikes, what a nightmare!

Think I’d fuck that Weight Watchers reject? Get Sloppy Sleeve Bananas on the phone. He would, believe me. I sure as shit would not!

These days I can barely jerk off to Slami Blahren or the other Cocks News Channel scenery without a flunky knocking on my door, “Mr. Proctologist, this. Mr. Pump, that.” Like I give a fuck. Fuck off!

My agent said the campaign would be great publicity. Big press, Ronnyboy! Keep my name out there. Boost TV ratings for “The Apartment.”

Then all these stupid hicks, white trash, they’re everywhere, wearing “Make Apartments Great Again” hats.

I’m like “what the fuck”, but I go with it ... Gonna rake in the dollars, millions and billions, believe me...

I figure we’ll sell the shit out of the merchandise. Millions and billions. But as it goes on, no matter how many pills I pop, it gets boring. The Raleighs, saying the same dumb shit, again and again...

All I want is to get back to my golf and chasing skirt. But the dumber the shit I say, the higher my licks go up! People actually licked for me. For me! Fucking reektards!

Now I’m the fucking Proctologist! And it sucks. I mean, I guess it’s better than Peter Gazer Prince. That closet runner would turn America into an episode of the “Handmate’s Tale.”

Just come out already, quit the charade, Mickey! We all know you take it in the keister! If he resigns, he and Alfred P. Newman and Dustin from Canada can all hook up for a ménage-a-trois...

This job sucks. It’s the worst job ever. I fucking hate it. I thought at least I could have internments sucking me off under the desk. Damn Gropey Dill Mitten and his carrot stick up the cooter ways! Ruined it for everyone!

The hell could I do to get impaired?

Washed up psychos, broken down dopey TV hacks, nut jobs, Miss Piggly, Crazy Hootenanny, Princess Pocahochas, Sleezy Joke, Sneaky Diana and Slimeball John Blomey, these losers after me every day and the idiots still can’t figure out how to fire me, even with all the moronic things I say and do daily! What the fuck?! SAD!

I thought about actually shooting somebody on 6th Avenue. In the face! With a watergun filled with Pumppiss, Diet Croak and Pump spring water!

Or taking my dong out at a press conference, pissing on Crazy Tim Ahpasta. Or grabbing the bloody spag out of Begyn Melly’s stinky tuna.

Oh, that bitch, Crazy Begyn Melly, what I wouldn’t give to bend her whiny ass over a table ... Give her a nice, consensual hate snuck...

That AOB dumb Bronx broad too. Oh, I’d skullfuck the tonsils out of her throat. Stupid sociallick dancing bitch. Great knockers, though!

Shit, I’m so pussy depraved, I’d even tail that Crazy Dumarosta, the starfucker. Give it to her right up the dirt patch, with my signature, patented Pump brand lube ... Give it to her fast and furious ... That sloppy psycho, sneaky bitch...

This is where I am, for fuck’s sake ... YEESH!!!

Damn loser trailer trash Fred State numskull morons! Fuck them for licking me into this nightmare!

Only thing that keeps me going is all the cash I’m collecting. Millions and billions!

I mean, look at that schmuck, Morocko Cheatin’ Hoebumma. He was born in a shack in shithole Wakanda, probably in an outhouse, now he’s worth 8 figures, all for what?

What a nerd. He never chases tang, only reads books at night. Reads books! What a loser!

Think of how much cash a killer like me will rake in from this. Pump TV, Pump cars, Pump motorcycles! Pump burgers, Pump you name it. Made in America! Millions and billions!

But I’m missing the pussy. Missing the warm place. The pink snapper. Stupid horndog, lowlife, Lyin’ Drill Kitten ruined it for everyone. Stupid chubby chaser. He coulda done so much better.

Look at the cooze JFA was pulling in. Every night. Sugartits Carilyn Manson blowing him in the Oval Office. That lucky bastard.

Now here I am. I can’t get nothing. Can’t even jerk off in peace. This job sucks. I hate it!

I hate having to shake hands, germy, gross hands, and listen to windbags and sniveling brownnoses like Lawn Sannity and stupid, boring meetings with obnoxious Eurotrash leader fellas like Mangela Jerkel.

I fucking hate this job! It stinks! Stupid Prussians. Stupid Pudding. Stupid Shitebart! Stupid ESPNBC, Cake News, Duff Bozos, Failing New York Slimes and Flake News CMM. Stupid Shitter! Losers! All a bunch of losers! Total losers!

(Down the hall, towards the Ronald’s bedroom walks Jarvanka. She’s wearing a skin-tight, form-fitting, black one-piece miniskirt. Her hair is down, and she’s all dolled up, still has her make-up on from a presser- fire red lip stick, blue eye shadow, dark eye liner, long fake lashes, heavy rouge accentuating her high cheekbones... )

Jarvanka: I feel so bad for daddy. He’s so busy these days. And, oh my god, like tons of people hate him. What a chore, this whole thing is. Not that I thought he’d win, but I guess you can never underestimate the stupidity of the American people.

Look at him. He’s gotten so fat. He’s miserable. Up all night, saying restarted things on Shitter.

That bitch Stelania. I always hated her, for obvious reasons. Not that she can speak English and I never had a conversation with her. But at least she’d fuck daddy right, from what I could tell. He did marry her.

Usually whores like her he’d fuck a few times and then move on to the next butt. But he married her, shocking me, and everybody, so she must have fucked or sucked like the pro she is.

Now look at daddy. My virginia sense tells me he’s not fucked in ages. Poor thing!

I know it’s wrong, but I’ve always thought he was hot. I know many girls have “daddy issues” and everything, but not every girl’s father is handsome, 6 foot 8, and a billionaire, superstar celebrity.

My whole life, I’ve had a crush on him. Not the daughterly love sort of crush totally, either. No, a naughty crush, a want him to grab me, tear off my clothes and fuck me and make me scream type of crush...

I must admit that it’s been a while for me too, since I had any sex. Mared was a great fuck when we first met. Not that he was my first. Oh, there’s been loads. Loads of loads. That’s something I got from daddy. The apex predator sex drive.

I’m an alpha bitch...

But, so far, I’ve been faithful to Mared. Heck, I even converted to his religion. Like, if you saw his bank account, you would too. Hell, you’d become a Hairy Krishna, Scientistologist, or a Satan Worshipper for his kind of cash.

Not that I worried too much about money before, but when daddy was having money problems and started doing business with the Prussians, I knew I better find a man who could afford me and keep me in the lifestyle I’m accustomed.

Mared and I used to go at it like rabbits, when we first met. Think I was his first. Although I’m not sure. He is a mute. Mostly he talks to me by handing me his credit cards or sometimes does hand signals.

Recently, however, he’s spending more and more of his time at the Spa, practicing ballet, sitting in on occasional meetings and doing yoga. I hardly ever see him. I can’t remember the last time we fucked.

Maybe it’s because I’m a mommy. But I’ve kept my figure. People still look at my long legs and rock hard, toned, eye-candy ass.

I know daddy looks at it. He’s always patted me on the backside, and given me long, grinding hugs and pecks on the lips that lingered a little too long.

But would he, you know, do more?

Like what if me giving him a handjob or blowing him kept him from attacking a shithole country or got him to let all those pathetic, smelly, dirt-faced Twatemalan kids out of the cages?

What great acts of diplomacy could he accomplish if I let him fuck me?

Mother Clarisa, my pussy! Noble Prize Pussy!

I did just recently get a “vaginal rejuvenation” procedure to tighten it up. When I finger myself in the shower, I can definitely tell the difference. Maybe it’s time to let a man take it for a test drive ... Maybe ... Daddy...

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Alien Pussycat

Alien Pussycat 1.Alien Pussycat?By: Arnold Puttwyn ? 2006 ???? The story of a future time when colonists from The Earth return to capture primitive natives and using surgery and retro-gene splicing with advanced medical care create exotic pets.? ??? Neela Parker?s whole world nearly ended when her father unexpectedly died.? She had no future, no ambition, and no life, but when she was made over into a pet catgirl she found herself. Neela ???? Neela Parker pulled her, thin faded black...

The Perfect SolutionChapter 5 The Children of the Owl and the Pussycat

(Author's Note: I dedicate this chapter to all of us that are slightly different. Or, as Mr. Lear so eloquently put it, are "partly little beasts and partly little fowl.") The Children of the Owl and the Pussycat Our mother was the Pussycat, our father was the Owl; and so we're partly little beasts and partly little fowl. The brothers of our family have feathers and they hoot. While all the sisters dress in fur and have long tails to boot. We all believe that little mice, for food are...

To The Max Pumpen und Saline Teil2

To The MaxCopyright by OctiliPersonen: (genauer in der Vorgeschichte)Ich selbst: 43, geschieden, sportliche Figur, Bi, freiberuflicher ProgrammiererMischa: 42, geschieden, androgyner Typ, Doktor der Medizin und Chemie, freiberuflich tätig.Jean-Paul: 35, homosexuell, Modedesigner und SchneiderHeike: 36, nicht gebunden, bi, Angestellte von J-PMischa hatte seine Forschungen auf dem Gebiet der hormonellen Geschlechtsangleichung in den letzten Monaten immer wieder verfeinert. Er war mittlerweile in...

Training my first pumper woman

Training my first pumper womanI have always been a very horny guy; full of powerful sexual needs that were not being met. Every week, I needed to clean out my pipe a number of times a day and there was not always a women on the other end if you get my drift--which is sadly the case for many college students. So, I got my first pump to train my manhood to grow to thicker and meaner heights. It was the old kind made by John Holmes--with a black knob on the top and made a loud pumping/hissing...

Training my first pumper woman

I have always been a very horny guy; full of powerful sexual needs that were not being met. Every week, I needed to clean out my pipe a number of times a day and there was not always a women on the other end if you get my drift--which is sadly the case for many college students. So, I got my first pump to train my manhood to grow to thicker and meaner heights. It was the old kind made by John Holmes--with a black knob on the top and made a loud pumping/hissing sound and was made of clear...

The AssPumpin PussyThumpin SeedDumpin Dicker Man

Warning: This story is an act of fiction that contains graphic sexual descriptions and language. If you are a minor (under 21) or if you are offended by this kind of material then you should stop reading now. Any resemblance between this story and a real event is coincidental. The participants are imaginary; their actions have no negative consequences other than those portrayed in the story. The story is intended for entertainment and should not be emulated in the real world. EVERYBODY in town...

The Enchanted Pumpkin Patch

‘You’ve probably heard the Appian Hollow Pumpkin Patch is haunted’. Roy Arbengast spoke earnestly to his next door neighbor, Betty Stone. ‘W-why?’ Betty was intensely superstitious and could feel her heart pounding like a jackhammer in her chest. ‘We-l-l-‘ Roy had a distinct drawl. ‘Sometimes people go there and….’ He paused tellingly. ‘They never come back.’ ‘N-n-never?’ Betty was quite gullible and was falling quite nicely for Roy’s glib sale pitch. ‘Never!’ Roy nodded with an evil smile....

The Pumpkin Patch

-Oscar Wilde *** Most of the year it was just an empty lot, dusty and overlooked. Little ever grew there, and no one ever tried to build anything on it. But people knew, deep down, that it was a special place, and they treated it with deference. It was a place of power. Jezibaba’s little house crouched across the street from it, and that night she drew her curtains aside and peered through the gloom. It was the first new moon in October. When the clock struck half past, she went...

The Great Pumpkin Fuckers

Do you think Castaway ever got lonely enough to fuck Wilson? When he was out there all alone on that island?It was a weird thought Jace had woken up with and it had lingered inside his head all day for some reason."Jesus fucking christ. No, Wilson was a friend, not a lover," Marc said shaking his head and looking all superior as if he never had thoughts like that."There's no rule out there that says you shouldn't fuck friends," Jace replied indignantly."Thing is though if he had done that to...

Humor

Great Pumpkin Fucker

I had worked every year at the Roscoe Farm since I was 18 to make some extra money. I had worked the past summer helping with the corn and helping around the farm. It was no surprise they called and ask for me to work during the pumpkin season. Mr Roscoe was going to be away for 5 weeks at a rehab center to help with his alcoholism and they wanted me to run the farm until he got back.Mrs. Roscoe was a nice lady but had no idea how to run the farm and left everything to her husband. They invited...

The Great Pumpkin Fucker

Mrs. Roscoe was a nice lady but had no idea how to run the farm and left everything to her husband. They invited me over to the farm on Thursday and we all had dinner and they told me what they expected this year. I was now 21 and felt that I could run the farm. I had to hire a couple of workers to run the register and park cars and help out around the farm with different duties. There was a small country store that sold apple cider and pumpkins and a big apple orchard that people could pick...

Jack the pumpkin kink

I know this will sound incredible, unbelievable, but you have to believe me. I swear this is exactly as it happened. There were lots to choose from, dozens, but this one sort of called to me. It did! Honestly, I know it sounds... Anyway, when I got home, the wife just sneered at me. 'Bit early for Halloween isn't it?' So what? There was a week to go, but she knows I like to have a dummy run at everything I do. I wanted to make it the best Halloween ever, you know? For the kids? Anyway, Elaine...

Humor

Diary of a Personal Assistant 4 The Pump

The day promised to be idyllic. Summer seemed to come and go this year and the sun was intent upon playing hide and seek with a vengeance. Today, however, it seemed content to float above the distant mountains. I could almost hear its gentle laughter as it lured me from my bed. Donning a light robe I made the trek from my small apartment to the main house, bemused and a little bewildered by the silence that greeted me, as well as the lack of yummy smells. Strangely, the kitchen was...

Hardcore

After Pump My First Beast Chapter II

Introduction: This fictional story picks up where My First Beast stops. You probably want to read that story first. During my sleep, I dreamed about little Cindi. I dreamed that I returned home and found her naked in my bed, with her pointed, little girl, nipples reaching up beckoning me. I slid onto the bed beside her, and she rolled over to kiss me with a full, big girl kiss, as she pushed her down covered pussy against mine which had also become naked. I moaned as her tongue explored the...

Pump and Punish

Summary: Kyra, discipline administrator at a reform school, takes drastic measures to get through to a repeat offender. Keywords: F/M, spank, femdom, strapon Author: Rick_oh Title: Pump And PunishStory: Pump and PunishThe weekends, including Fridays, were the busiest days for Kyra, the headmistress and primary discipline administrator at the reform school. It was 8 in the morning on Friday. As she brought up the roster of discipline for that day, four residents' files appeared on the...

Just Next Door to the Pink Pussycat

"You know what we called it when I was in high school? Huh?"Beaver, for Christ's sake. Sounds silly now even just to say it."I was sitting in my editor's office. He was ranting and raving as usual. Probably his boss had been on his case about something and he was taking it out on me."After that, all of a sudden it's Squirrel. Can you believe that? 'Squirrel this,' and 'Squirrel that.' 'Hey, man, I got me some SQUIRREL this weekend.'" Shaking his head. "If you got a look up a chick's mini-skirt...

Straight Sex

Sally Sally PumpkinEater

Sally Sanderson was not exactly a pretty child growing up and when she reached the ripe old age of eighteen; there was not much noticeable improvement in either her looks or her disposition. Her parents never really noticed that she didn't have very many friends because they were so proud of her straight "A"s in school and the fact that she kept her room exceedingly neat and clean. She had a little dog called Dodo who had a short curled tail and seemed to be interested in sniffing...

Incest Cafe Chapter 01 Pumpkin Spice Breastmilk Latte

“Fucking bitch!” I yelled and threw my handbag onto the table, then watched it slide across its shiny surface. It ended up falling off the far end, right at Mandy’s perfectly pedicured feet. She was wearing her open-toe red pumps again, the ones that made her tower over most men. It occurred to me that she’d make a fantastic Dominatrix, at least looks-wise. “Someone’s in a pissy mood,” she mumbled and I glared at her. I was so not in the mood. “So what? Got a problem with me, take it up with my...

Incest

Incest Cafe Chapter 01 Pumpkin Spice Breastmilk Latte

“Fucking bitch!” I yelled and threw my handbag onto the table, then watched it slide across its shiny surface. It ended up falling off the far end, right at Mandy’s perfectly pedicured feet. She was wearing her open-toe red pumps again, the ones that made her tower over most men. It occurred to me that she’d make a fantastic Dominatrix, at least looks-wise. “Someone’s in a pissy mood,” she mumbled and I glared at her. I was so not in the mood. “So what? Got a problem with me, take it up...

The Pumpkin Mask the Shiny Penny

I don’t own The Big Bang or any of the characters. This is a parody based on parts of the show and I make no money on this story. All characters are twenty one years-old. Votes and comments are welcomed and appreciated. This story is based loosely on The Big Bang Theory. Anonymously the pumpkin head scarecrow costumed puts a shine on Penny’s behind. Over the years Penny has communicated biting comments to Howard and Halloween was his payback. The pumpkin head masked scarecrow saw the...

Ebony Pussyland

There were only two problems, she knew she drove the boys wild, even the male teachers, she became rather flirty in a raunchy way which she became known as a slut. Problem two, I was shy, I was the quiet one. I was the biggest kid in school as in the tallest, the strongest, I was borderline with the popular crowd, Emily's group, only becuse none of the older guys could beat me up and feared me when they heard I was after them or even when we met on the courts and fields of various...

Niki and the Pussybusters

The simultaneous gulp from both of us was audible around the dinner table. An assembled group of 3 work colleagues with partners had joined us for dinner at our new home and the meal was going really well until that question. We had a prepared answer, of course, but it always seemed to catch us out. “It wasn’t really me Enzos Niki fancied at first. A close friend of mine was into her when we first met but I realised she was meant for me.” “I met Grant when he was invited...

Fucking Hot White Married PussyPT6

Jack's cock was by no means small, measuring a good eight and a half inches when fully erect. He heard a giggle to his right and realized Elaine was standing next to them. "My goodness, daddy," she said, "I had no idea you were so well equipped. You certainly make Paul look small in comparison. Mom, I'm jealous of you," she giggled again.Lisa jiggled Jack's cock at her daughter. "Then help yourself, sweetie," she said, her voice thick with lust. Elaine hesitated. "I don't know . . ." she said,...

Fucking Hot White Married PussyPT5

Tyler sat up in bed next to his wife, unable to get back to sleep in the early dawn. Beside him, Monica lay sleeping naked on her stomach, the blanket shrugged off down to the swell of her buttocks. In the breaking light of dawn, Tyler could just make out the ornate black spade tattoo that was centered just above the crack of her gorgeous ass, a gift from her black master, Ron. Well, not quite a gift. Ron had instructed Monica to get the tattoo, but ever the dutiful husband, Tyler had...

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