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You mind if I rant for a minute, O?

Jesus loves me, this I know. All my music tells me so.

All of the posters on my wall and all of the friends my parents want me to hang out with say the same thing.

I guess it's pretty much fucking unanimous.

Jesus loves me, even though I'm a fucking lesbian. Not because I'm a lesbian, mind you. The manual states it clearly, I've been told. He loves me despite my sinning ways. I guess that's the way it goes, though. Jesus loves a fucking project. He loves the sinners more than the rest because they have more to feel guilty about.

He loves the sinners so much that all those straight-laced fuckers who arrive at church ahead of me each week are desperate to be sinners. The totally invent sins out of thin fucking air, just so they can feel guilty and get some loving.

Like "sins of the mind". What the fuck is that? They want to feel guilty for just coveting someone's ass. Not me. If I'm going to pay the price, the least I'm going to do is have a real, bad-ass, don't-look-at-me-that-way-or-I'll-kick-your-ass sin to atone for.

I go to church all the time now, just to embarrass my parents. It's my way of getting back at them for sending me to that camp.

Do I sound bitter? Not at all. Nope. I'm just having some fun with it.

Oh, the camp? Yeah. That's what you asked about, isn't it, O?

I'll smut it up if you want. Let me know. Then you can blast it out to the smutverse if you want. I think your friends would like it. The sweet part of the deal is that no one will take it seriously.

Mom is fucking retarded. She thinks she can still get me excited with wedding magazines and romance novels. Like I'm going to wake up one day and totally get it. Dad's just in it for the money. He boasts over the dinner table. Yeah, we still do that. How totally motherf-ing quaint. He boasts about how much easy business comes his way from the church and churchgoers and the holy-ass Christian women's club. I mean seriously, can you even believe there is such a thing?

So when they figured out I was into girls (and it took them long enough to notice - it's not like I was doing an ace job of hiding it) they hit the roof hard.

Well, he did. Mom doesn't do that. She just gets disappointed, which is much worse because she may be an asshole but she's still my mom.

Where do you shop for one of these places, by the way? Not that you'd know. But I wonder, because it's not like you'd find it in the yellow pages. My parents found one though, right quick - probably through the pastor at our church. I wish they'd shopped around a bit. Or not. I don't know. I mean, this place probably fucked me up worse, but it's not like I really wanted to be cured. I guess if I were going to choose one, I'd want "ineffective but harmless" somewhere in the ad.

My parents wanted the cure though. Not for their sake. No. Of course not. For my sake. So I can be happy again (like it was ever picture postcard in my family) and be loved by God. Who, by the way, loves me anyhow. He just requires that I feel guilty about how he made me.

You mentioned you had a writer friend who was a lesbian, BTW. Did she ever have to deal with the religion thing? Just wondering.

So they drove me there, across three states. I'm not going to say which ones, just in case you do post this out there. Holy crap was that a road trip. Imagine being trapped in a car with your parents for hours on the road, just after they tell you that they're bringing you to a camp that'll fix you right up from being gay.

Yep, I was gonna be cured. Hallelujah. Is that even how you spell it? My spellchecker still has it underlined.

The place was nice, in a holy motherf-ing Christian boot camp sort of way, with horses and daily nature hikes and all that shit. I know I should set the scene better ('k so I'm not gonna be a writer) but I can't wait to tell you the best part. I actually knew one of the other girls there!!

I'll call her "Leah". Why? Well, I have to call her something, right? And I don't want her real information out there. I may have been pretty shitty to her recently, but she's still sort of my friend.

How fucked up is that, though? Like, did my church pastor get bonus Jesus-bucks for sending out two lesbians in as many weeks?

Which is a laugh, because "Leah"

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Mandy didn’t know about my relationship with her mother. She didn’t know that my tongue had been in every nook and cranny of the older woman’s body, nor that I had penetrated the canal through which Mandy had entered the world. She didn’t know that my exultant spunk had drenched the surrounding area because Mrs Hubert turned me on so much.She didn’t know that I knew about her relationship with her stepfather – unless Mrs Hubert had confronted them about it, which I doubted very much.Nor did she...

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HussiePass Kyler Quinn That Went In My Butt

The lovely Kyler Quinn ? is back with us today and she’s here to take Damion Dayski’s 12-inch dick ? up her butt ? in this week’s Hussie?Pass update. After the Johnny ?? Robins interview portion of the program ????? Damion gets Kyler all lubed up ?? and we get to watch her twerk that cute little ass of hers ? Damion then makes sure her pussy is nice and wet by going down on her ?? first while she’s twerking, then with Kyler spread-eagle. Kyler returns the oral favor by...

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