A Well Lived Life Book 6 Kara IChapter 40 A New Semester
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May 1984, Chicago, Illinois
“Hello?” I heard Kara’s voice calling from the foyer.
Jackie and I had prepared lunch and were sitting in my office waiting for Kara to arrive. I got up and went to greet her.
“Hi Kara. Lunch is ready,” I said.
“Good. I’m famished!” she said, flashing me a smile.
We exchanged a hug and she and I went to the kitchen. She and Jackie greeted each other and I got the pot of soup from the stove and brought it to the table. The three of us chatted during lunch, but not about anything of real substance. When we finished, Jackie asked Kara if she could talk to her. Kara looked to me and I nodded my assent. The girls went into my office and shut the door, while I cleaned up the dishes from lunch.
Once I’d finished that chore, I ran through a list of everything I’d need for the end of the semester party. We’d decided to keep it totally informal and had spread the word amongst our friends to come if and when they felt like it. There were a few things I needed to get, so I’d make a run to Jewel once Kara and Jackie finished talking. Kara finally emerged from my office, giggling, and Jackie had a wry smile on her face.
“Care to share the humor?” I asked.
“We were just comparing notes!” Jackie said.
“Should I be scared?” I said with a grin.
“No!” they both said.
“Hmm. That response actually makes me worry! But forget that, I need to go to Jewel to pick up a few things for tonight.”
“A party?” Kara asked.
“Low key,” I said. “Next year is the major bash since all of us except Elyse will be done with school. We joked last year about our final party being a Bacchanalia. If I remember, it was Elyse’s idea.”
“A Bacchanalia?” Kara asked.
Jackie smirked and barely contained her laughter.
“Well, to be blunt,” I said, “a wild sex party. Everyone naked and available for everyone.”
“Oh!” Kara said, blushing. “Uhm, wow!”
“Yeah. Somehow I don’t see that happening, unfortunately!” Jackie smirked.
“You would do that? Have sex with random guys?”
“Random? No. Steve? Yes. I might even take a run at Jorge if I could get him away from Queen Big Tits!”
I laughed, “That guy is going to get more action than I am if he’s not careful! And really? Queen Big Tits?”
“The way she thinks, those twins let her rule the world, so yeah. Steve, if you ever need an employee to convince guys to sign contracts, she’s the one! But by the time this mythical, never going to happen party was supposed to happen, I’ll be with Jamie so I couldn’t participate anyway.”
“Don’t worry, Jackie,” I said. “You won’t miss a thing. It’s not happening. We can’t even get Katy into the sauna naked if there’s another guy in the house, let alone with one in the sauna. Not to mention Julia being engaged to Dave, Kathy and Kurt ready to get married a few days after her graduation, and other minor inconveniences.”
“We’ll just have to figure out something really fun, but with a bit of decorum,” Jackie said.
“I need to run to the store. Do either of you want to come?”
“Yes!” they both said, giggling.
“At the store?” Jackie said. “Now that’d be a first!”
I sighed, “Cute girls, cute. Let’s go.”
“Maybe I’ll check out the BANANAS or the CUCUMBERS!” Jackie said, almost in tears.
“I prefer cherries, thank you very much!” I said deciding to play along.
“You got all of mine, Snuggle Bear!” Kara giggled.
“OK, OK. This has gone far enough,” I laughed. “Let’s go.”
We went to Jewel and picked up the few things I needed, then we headed back home. Cindi had gone to Moo & Oink earlier in the week to pick up bulk hamburgers. I usually got my bulk meat there, because their prices were the best and their quality very good, and I could use the deep freezer in the basement so that I could buy in even larger quantities to get lower prices.
The girls helped me prepare the fixings, and when we finished, we stashed them in the fridge. I made some tea, and Kara and I took it to the ‘Indian’ room and shut the door behind us.
“Why am I here?” Kara asked.
“Don’t you want to be?” I asked, taken aback at the blunt question.
“I do, but I’m wondering why you invited me. The real reason.”
“Anala strongly suggested that I needed to spend time with you and figure out my feelings for you. Is that a problem?”
“No, it isn’t a problem. I guess my question really is, what is it that you want? What are your feelings?”
“Right now, I’m in an odd place. Some stuff came up with Anala that really rocked my world, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Maybe I should have had you postpone your trip until I sorted it out.”
“Can I help? I want to help. But you didn’t answer my question, either.”
“I still love you Kara. That’s never, ever been a question. But I don’t even know what that means anymore. I’m not sure that you or anyone can help right now.”
“That does not sound like the Steve Adams I know. The Steve Adams I know always went to his closest friends for help, and if they couldn’t help, got professional help. Just like he insisted that I do. Tell me what’s got you so tied up in knots, Snuggle Bear.”
“You keep using that nickname. Are you trying to tell me something?”
She sighed, “Yes and no. What I want, what I need, and what I’m ready to do, are not the same things. If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop.”
“I’m not sure what it makes me feel. I guess that’s the problem. Don’t worry about it.”
“I always worry about you. Now, tell me, what’s the big problem.”
“Becky,” I said, my voice barely audible.
“Steve Adams, did you have sex with that girl?” Kara asked, a look of horror on her face. “If you did, then I should just go home right now. That would be the single most self-destructive thing you could ever do!”
“No! I didn’t. And I don’t want to! The problem, which Anala identified, is that I’m still in love with Becky, and that Becky, not Birgit, was the one, true love of my life. And until I resolve my feelings, I’ll be at risk for a relapse, if you will. Anala thinks, and Bethany agrees, that I was drowning myself in meaningless sex to try to suppress my feelings. They popped out from time to time, resulting in the pregnancy, a close call early during my senior year, then the incident where I cheated on you.”
“DO you love her?” Kara asked.
“I’m pretty sure that I do. I’ve been fighting that for years. Stephanie always called it the moth and flame.”
“And according to Anala you have to sort that out once and for all? Or you’ll end up cheating with Becky again sometime in the future.”
“Yes. And think just how disastrous that would be! You would think knowing that, I’d be able to control it. But I couldn’t control it two weeks after I asked you to go steady! My sister is right. And Anala is right. I need to break the spell, or, as Anala says, banish the demon.”
“So get some professional help,” Kara said.
I smiled wryly at the simplicity of the solution. Jackie had suggested that I treat it like an addiction and resolve each day not to succumb. Maybe I did need to have my head shrunk to get over Becky once and for all.
“I have no idea why I didn’t think of that,” I said. “It’s perfect!”
I got up, took her hand and pulled her up from her chair and hugged her. I kissed her, meaning for it to be a quick, loving kiss, but it turned into a searing French kiss. Kara moaned softly into my mouth and her nipples hardened and pressed into my chest, and to my surprise after the night I’d had with Jackie and Elyse, I became instantly erect. I was sure Kara could feel it, and I knew I was close to doing something we weren’t ready for. I broke the kiss and we both gasped.
“Well, I’d say we still have it,” she giggled when we’d released each other from our tight hug. “Another five seconds and I don’t know if I could have stopped.”
“Yeah,” I said, adjusting my pants for comfort. “More like one second.”
“So, now that we’ve solved your problem, what else am I doing here?”
“Besides making me remember all the insanely pleasurable moments we had together?” I chuckled.
“Yes, besides that!”
“Being my friend. Helping me through my issues. And I’ll help you.”
“And where do you want it to end?” she asked.
“With both of us happy.”
“Together?” she asked, tilting her head.
“I have no destination in mind, except happiness. If you want that, then we have a lot of work to do, with no guarantee that it’ll ever progress beyond deep friendship.”
“I know,” Kara sighed, but then smiled, “And I will point out that you do fuck some of your close friends!”
“That’s true. But I’m careful about that. You seem to be more, well, free, I guess.”
“Do you remember escaping from your mom’s clutches?” she asked.
“Yes, I do. Vividly.”
“I escaped from my dad’s. Remember how my mom told you that I was a free spirit? Well, that was the inner conflict that tore me up and eventually led to my destructive behavior.”
“What about church and God?” I asked.
“Someday, I might be able to go back to a church that taught that God’s love was his most important quality, and that his justice could never outweigh his love.”
“So, no more Calvinism. That’s good, Kara. Very, very good.”
“And no church for quite some time. Just like you had to break away from your mom’s church, I had to break away from my dad’s. And the Free Church wasn’t enough of a break.”
“And your sense of right and wrong?” I asked.
“Like yours. Be kind and treat others as I wanted to be treated. Love everyone, and I don’t mean physically, Steve Adams!”
I chuckled, “Touché. And limits?”
“Only what I am comfortable with and that I think through in advance. Like you do. I have some obvious limits, which I think you can guess.”
“I think so. So what about school?” I asked.
“I decided to get my degree in Chemistry and then teach High School.”
I knew, even before I asked, what the answer to my next question was going to be. And it was going to create quite an uncomfortable situation.
“Where are you going to school?”
“IIT,” she said brightly. “Each of the last two years I simply deferred my attendance. I would have to reapply if I don’t start in August.”
“That application has an old address on it. How did you make that work?”
She smiled, “When I first decided to stay home, I simply gave them a temporary mailing address, saying I was helping my mom after my dad died. I just have to change my home address. It’s up to you, Steve. I have enough money to stay in the dorms if you want me to.”
I put my head in my hands. Suddenly, I’d developed a severe headache, my temples pulsing and my blood pressure high enough I could see my pulse when I closed my eyes. I should have expected this when she played coy with her answer when we’d talked about it earlier in the year. I missed the obvious signs.
“That’s a heck of a thing to lay on me out of the blue, Kara,” I said after a couple of minutes of silence, during which I willed myself to relax.
“Well, let’s take the practical part first. Is there room here for me?”
“Yes, one way or the other, there’s room. There are two guest rooms in the basement, or I could remodel my office into a bedroom. I did that for Stephie when we called it quits.”
“Anala’s going to be with you for your Senior year?”
“That’s the plan, yes. And Sofia is going to be here in August, too. She’s going to Loyola. She’ll be rooming with Cindi, taking Jackie’s place. Elyse, Julia, and Katy have their own rooms. After that, most likely it’ll be Elyse, because she has two years of grad school, Sofia because she has seven years of school, Anala, and Stephanie. I expect Julia, Katy, and Cindi to move out. So it’d work, I guess.”
“Anala is staying? I thought it was only for your Senior year.”
“That’s in my bed. Once Senior year is over, she’ll move to her own room, and move out when she’s ready to marry or I decide to marry.”
“You’d be OK with me being here? You looked like you were going to have a stroke or something.”
I gave her a wry smile, “When is my life EVER simple, Kara? The more I try to simplify it, the crazier it seems to get!”
“So don’t simplify it! Why fight what works? Sure, you’ve had issues, but you work through them. Do you enjoy your life?”
“Usually, I guess.”
“You guess? Are you beating yourself up because Anala and Bethany told you that you tried to drown your feelings for Becky in sex? If so, those two are looking a gift horse in the mouth. I will never, ever complain about you having sex with me! You can take that to the bank. If I could just have a casual fling and you would be OK with it, I’d be in your bed right now with your big dick in my tight little pussy, sexy mouth, and cute ass!”
I laughed, “Kara Blanchard, you are amazing. You’ve become the woman I’d hoped you would become.”
“Not yet, Steve. It’s easy to say stuff like that to you, and, without the vulgarity, to Doctor Mercer. It’s a whole different thing to actually live it and be comfortable with it. Until I can do THAT, I can’t even think about those things. No, that’s not quite true; I can THINK about them, I just can’t do them, no matter how crazy it drives me.”
“You’re horny!” I chuckled.
“Well of course I am! It was all I could do not to have you four or five times at Christmas! And the two times that we’ve kissed deeply, I’ve almost ripped your clothes off. It’s your fault, too! You flipped a switch on me on January 9th, 1981. And while my emotional state kind of put a damper on my desire, Christmas made it come roaring back.”
“And?” I grinned.
“No way! We can’t and you know it. Not yet, anyway. I hope someday, but not yet.”
“So you’re going to torture yourself?”
“Call it penance, if you must. I know that’s a word that you know.”
“Yeah. It’s a bit different from saying five Hail Mary’s and five Our Father’s after confession,” I grinned. “I think I like the new Kara even better than the old one. And I liked the old one a lot!”
“That’s good to hear. But I know the situation. I’ve talked to some of the other girls. I know what happened with Jennifer, and I have to say I’m truly sorry, though I guess in the end, other than a marriage certificate you get what you wanted all along. The girls think Bethany has the inside track now. And I guess you do, too, given the gift you gave her,” Kara said, fingering her diamond pendant.
“It’s a token of love, Kara. It doesn’t diminish the one I gave you in any way.”
“But doesn’t it commit you to her?”
“Only in the same way it did with you. To work towards a future together, in a serious way. And yes, there is a very good possibility of that happening.”
“What about Karin?”
“I don’t see how that ever happens and I’m going to tell her that this summer. It was a fantasy with Birgit, and I replaced Birgit with Karin when she died.”
“And Sofia?”
“She’s coming here for school. Yes, she hopes it will lead to something between us, but she’s not counting on it. She is certainly hoping for it.”
“And if I find that I’m ready at some point in the future to resume a relationship with you?”
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A Semester Abroad- Part 2 By RogerGirl Sasha walked into her first class carrying her notebook and her laptop bag. She was wearing a t-shirt with the university's mascot on it, a pair of flared jeans, and a pair of white Keds. This being her first day, she didn't want to dress too over the top and draw too much attention to her. She looked around the crowded lecture hall for a seat that wasn't next to too many guys and found an open seat next to a girl wearing shorts and a tank...
Saturday here at the end of January, I was up before Kris woke. Aftersleeping on his date, he still couldn't get over the fact that he had beenused by his date the same way some guys used girls. I doubt if he learneda lesson from jumping into bed with a girl he didn't know but he did bemoanhow empty he felt inside. Colt and a few of the others had a nice laugh atKris but did tell him at least he got laid. Kris was happy with that.That night, Corey and I headed out for our own date night without...
*******************"Did it snow, Matt?" Kris said first thing when he woke up this Sundaystarting the last full week of January."Look for yourself," I said and had seen it had snowed quite a bit.Kris rolled out of bed and peered out the window, naked as we both sleptevery night now. "Fuck yeah it did! Looks a foot out there if not more!Get your shit on. We're heading out in it!" He raced over like a ten yearold and started putting on his oldest jeans, a tee and sweatshirt. "Getyour ass up,...
June 15, 1994, Chicago, Illinois “That’s everything, I think,” I said. “My luggage is in the trunk of the car, I have my passport, tickets, and money, both dollars and yen. I can’t think of anything else.” “I’ll see you in five weeks,” Elyse said, giving me a quick hug. “Did you see they rioted in Vancouver last night because they lost the Stanley Cup?” I chuckled, “Only Canadians would riot when they LOSE the Cup! I did see that on the front page of the Trib. Are we ready?” “Michelle and...
Hope you enjoy this chapter.*******************Waking Monday, I realized how fast time was going here. March would turninto April this week and signal the end of cool weather. So far, we'd beenrather lucky and had a nice beginning to spring with great temperatures andfairly pleasant weather. With six weeks or so left in my freshman year,the professors decided to pour it on. Up to this point, they had done asuperb job of spacing my tests but that now was over with another piled ontop of the two...
*******************It was four or so when Corey and I returned to campus after our brief tripto his home to grab his camping equipment. We climbed the stairs and foundmy door cracked open. I pushed it open to find Kris, Colt, Jess and Alexin the room. Kris, Colt and Alex had their lip full of dip."How'd it go?" Kris asked us."It went really well," Corey said with us grabbing desk chairs."Matt, before we decide anything, we've decided to check out the otherdorms and see what's available. We were...
From the last chapter:Corey and I were watching TV and laughing until the door flew wide open."Matt, we need you now!" Colt screamed, dripping wet and sounding urgent.I shut my eyes briefly and wondered what in the world was going on...*********"Matt, I think it could be serious by that look on Colt's face," Corey saidwith the door wide open and Colt gone. "No doubt it's with Kris...""I wonder if Lee... oh shit!" I said and bolted out the door with thatthought in mind. I opened the bathroom...
October 1982, Chicago, Illinois The drive back to Chicago was as uneventful as usual, and I arrived at the apartment just before 6:00pm. When I arrived, Elyse and Stephie were sitting on the couch and Jackie was sitting on the loveseat. Stephie hopped up as I opened the door and greeted me with a hug and a kiss. “Hi, Peaches!” I said. “Glad you’re home, Yankee!” “Hi, Steve,” Elyse and Jackie both said. “Hey,” I replied. “How was the weekend?” “Well, it was just Kurt with me, Stephie,...
June/July, 1984, Stockholm, Sweden I woke when the conductor announced that we were arriving in Stockholm. I was happy the announcement came early enough for me to be fully awake and clear my mind before the train arrived on the platform. My dream had replayed the last seven years, but in a disjointed fashion. The strongest memories had come first - seeing Birgit for the first time, making love to her, her death, seeing Karin for the first time, my night of passion with Karin, and Karin’s...
August, 1984, Chicago, Illinois The rest of the week proceeded as expected - class on Wednesday, as well as the usual visit from Penny, work on Thursday, and class on Friday. Kara and I had lunch together at IIT, Sofia practiced her driving and parking, and I hung out with Mark Agnini after class for beers. Staci and I got into a couple of interesting debates about the Old Testament that Mark had to break up to allow others in the class to participate. She was very much of the ‘directly...
CHAPTER 17: SecondSemester Studying, practical exercises, oral exams and lab experiments. Oh, also some classes. Jay arrived on campus the day before classes started. He had signed up for a bunch of courses, most of which I did not understand. Theory II I got. Music History I got. Introduction to composition I didn’t get. He was also enrolled in HS 102, Introduction to Human Sexuality, but was in a different section. Second semester English and Intro to Anthropology rounded it out. He told...
BisexualClasses were actually pretty good. My swimming class was at eight in the morning. It was a freshman course. All the guys were nude, and about a third of the girls went without bathing suits. The most popular guy in the class was Walden. I have no idea if all African American men’s dicks are bigger than whites’, but his certainly was. It was nine inches soft and nearly a foot long when hard. I felt so inadequate. I enjoy swimming, and swimming in a large pool while nude was actually better than...
BisexualSometimes, egos are good things. You can ride high on the wave of a growing ego, but you better watch for the breakers at the shore! This is a long story of how I built my ego up, flaunted it around, and then crashed back to reality.=== Tammy:My wife met Michael at an infamous "Sue and Lyle" house party. He is a smaller dark-skinned man with a giant cock. At five-feet-six-inches, he was only a couple inches taller than my wife. His cock may, in fact, be longer than mine, but on his frame, it...
TrueSometimes, egos are good things. You can ride high on the wave of a growing ego, but you better watch for the breakers at the shore! This is a long story of how I built my ego up, flaunted it around, and then crashed back to reality.=== Tammy:My wife met Michael at an infamous "Sue and Lyle" house party. He is a smaller dark-skinned man with a giant cock. At five-feet-six-inches, he was only a couple inches taller than my wife. His cock may, in fact, be longer than mine, but on his frame, it...
True*******************Friday night was rather quiet around my room with Kris out with Liz and theother guys doing their own thing. It offered the perfect opportunity to dosome shopping for Corey's Valentine's present and Kris's birthday presentwhich was the next day. The mall was about as crowded as it was during theChristmas season. The bad part was I didn't have much money or an idea foreither of them. I found something small for Kris before finding a niceinexpensive gift for Corey.Right after...
Nudging Corey in the side, we woke up in his friend's apartment. Coreysoftly kissed me on the lips."Remind us to do this again sometime," Corey stated."It was pretty sweet.""No doubt they heard us last night. This damn headboard nearly knockeddown that wall with you banging my ass last night but Trey and Towsonsounded like they were enjoying some great sex as well.""They did with their bed knocking against the wall. I guess they couldn'tlet us show them up."Corey smiled, "I don't guess not." We...
Chapter 26: Semester of Misery Monday was getting back to the misery of school. Things hadn’t changed much. The weekend of competing had improved my spirits, that didn’t last long though with the current atmosphere at school being slightly depressing. There was an announcement over the school PA system that a student had attended the Ninjutsu state championship over the weekend, being a great representative of the school, winning his division of the tournament at black belt. They didn’t...
May 26, 1991, Iron Mountain, Michigan “Shall we see if we can find a farm?” I asked at breakfast on Sunday morning. “That sounds like a great idea,” Jessica said. “There’s a visitor’s bureau in town,” Kara said. “I saw it when we were here the first time.” “I’m sorry I ruined that vacation,” Jessica said. “Ruined?” I protested. “Are you kidding? Getting you back was way more important than a few days of vacation!” “I agree,” Kara added. “Jess, you know exactly how bad off Steve was...
January, 1985, Chicago, Illinois I arrived back in Hyde Park about ten minutes before the end of the Super Bowl. It didn’t look like it had been much of a contest, given that the score was 38-16, with San Francisco trouncing Miami. I grabbed a Coke and some chips and sat down on the couch next to Julia and Dave. In the room, besides my housemates, were Jamie, Kenneth, Kurt, Kathy, Jorge, George, Charlie, Bert, and Wen. “Julia, I got approval from both guys in Cincinnati,” I said. She...
Late on Saturday afternoon Dave shifted into his job as one of the bartenders for the Circle. Just as he was ready for a first customer, Emma came racing up to the bar. She was alone and only wearing a monokini, unlike a few hours earlier when her parents and younger sister had visited and she was dressed conservatively. She extended her body over the bar and kissed Dave. “Thank you for being so nice to my parents and sister.” “Of course. They’re nice people. I take it they don’t know a...
July 22, 2000, Chicago, Illinois “Albert, do you have everything packed?” Mom asked. “Yes, Mom!” I replied, rolling my eyes because she’d asked before I went to bed. “He’ll be fine, Babe,” Dad said. “Let’s walk to the hospital.” I usually didn’t get up early, but Dad had suggested it would help Mom if I walked to the hospital with her because I was leaving to see Jane for three weeks. Mom, Dad, Aunt Kara and I left the house and headed down the sidewalk towards the hospital where Mom and...
August 1981, Chicago, Illinois On Sunday morning, I made my usual call to Karin. I described everything in the apartment and all the things I’d done during the week, including the reception. Both of us would start school in a week and we were both looking forward to it. When we finished talking, I went out for my run, showered, and ate breakfast. I made some tea, started a load of laundry, and then turned on the stereo. I put on an REO Speedwagon album and then relaxed on the couch with the...
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June, 1983, Göteborg, Sweden The SAS DC-9 from Heathrow rolled out on the runway at Landvetter, bringing me back to Sweden for the second year in a row, and the third time overall. When the plane had taxied to the ramp and parked, the doors were opened and I grabbed my carry-on bag and headed off the plane and into the terminal. I found the baggage claim and after a short wait, collected my bags. I switched my brain into ‘Swedish’ mode and prepared to speak little or no English for several...
August 21, 1989, Chicago, Illinois “Unbelievable,” I said when I read the headline from the Chicago Tribune. “It says here that Solidarity activist Tadeusz Mazowiecki was nominated to be Prime Minister of Poland.” I hadn’t had a chance to read the paper on Sunday because it hadn’t been delivered before we left for the race track in Michigan. “So now what?” Kara asked. “We’re in totally uncharted territory. Your guess is as good as anyone’s right about now.” “Steve, do you have a minute?”...
August, 1983, Chicago, Illinois In the morning Anala and I ran as we had the previous time, then showered together, carefully washing each other’s bodies in an intimate but non-sexual way. After our shower we went to the kitchen and I made breakfast and we sat down to eat. “Steve, may I make a suggestion?” she asked. “Sure.” “Broaden your circle of friends. Other than me, all of you are white, nominally Christian, 20-year-old Americans. And you don’t invite me to your Sunday...