My Life Pt 1 free porn video

4 years ago

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Midlife

‘Well, that ended badly.’ Peter mumbled to himself. He tried to get to his feet. He was sitting on the floor of his living room trying to sort out just what had happened. But his alcohol clouded mind and his stinging cheek made coherent thought a little difficult. He had acted like a prick and he knew it. He made another attempt at standing up but his pant-legs were bunched around his ankles and one foot slid out from under him again. ‘Fuck it.’ He growled. And lay back onto the floor, his...

4 years ago

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Niqhtlife

I had just broken up with my boyfriend, Bryce. I wanted to be able to go to a club, get drunk and fuck with a guy I’d just met. Bryce was too clingy, I liked to be free. Well, now I was. Tonight would be fun. I would get drunk and have sex. Simple, right? Right. I was 21 and in college, and partying was what college was for. I dressed in my sluttiest dress, skipping underwear. The dress was long enough to cover my ass but short enough that when I bent over you could get a full view. I did my...

3 years ago

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Lifechanger

In all your life you could only feel one way about yourself. You were a loser. Everything about you could be described as "below average" everything from your eyesight to the size of your penis. You were socially inept. You frequented the library, you would spend your time reading romances and erotica, wishing that you could have something like the characters in the stories. Despite everything you told yourself, despite all of your efforts, your attempts at improving any aspect of yourself...

4 years ago

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Slutlife

You recently moved to the big city to find a job, since unemployment is very common where you come from. Another aspect was, that you wanted to try out new stuff. Sexual stuff. But word in the small town spreads fast and you did not want to shame your Family. You like it rough, and none of your small town friends could really satisfy you. So here you are. Your name is Lena, 20 years old. You are 1,62cm short, have blonde curly hair, a slim body with nice 80c breasts and a cute small ass. It’s...

3 years ago

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Lifewish

The Worm TurnsI thought that I would let you, the reader, know how my life has changed, some would say for the better! It all started as a normal day at work, where I am sales manager for a team of guys who sell fitness equipment. As a totally non P.C. team, we have chosen our office staff for their, shall we say, flexibility to work procedures, which they are quite happy with as it is reflected in their bonus payments. This afternoon I had just closed a big deal, and as I reflected on the...

3 years ago

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Niqhtlife

I had just broken up with my boyfriend, Bryce. I wanted to be able to go to a club, get drunk and fuck with a guy I'd just met. Bryce was too clingy, I liked to be free. Well, now I was. Tonight would be fun. I would get drunk and have sex. Simple, right? Right. I was 21 and in college, and partying was what college was for. I dressed in my sluttiest dress, skipping underwear. The dress was long enough to cover my ass but short enough that when I bent over you could get a full view. I did my...

4 years ago

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Lifegaurd

I’m a guy late forties fairly fit for my age, and like to swim regularly at the local swimming baths, that’s where I meet, a hot early twenty year old girl, she is a lifeguard there and she is very friendly and extremely hot, she is an American girl from T===Ss, her accent is so hot.Anyway we often chatted and I noticed she often come up to me to chat when I’m in my swimming shorts, and I’m sure she flirted with her eyes and body, I’m older guy but do get the odd look from younger ladies...

2 years ago

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Lifestick

Salla and Savva crouched low as they worked their way through the jungle flora. The waist high bushes provided perfect cover along with the camouflage of the leopard fur shorts and bras the duo wore. The two long brown haired jungle women would not easily be seen. The tribal explorers moved stealthy and silent as a jungle cat. They edged toward the strange sounds. If the sounds were voices they were not like any voices they ever heard. These voice-like sounds had a deep tone. Never before while...

1 year ago

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LifeSelector

Want to see some interactive porn at Life Selector? Looking for some "choose your own adventure" porn? Simply watching porn is great, sure. But don’t you ever wish you could be right there in the action calling the shots? Of course, you do. Who the fuck doesn’t? Now, I can’t fly you out to the best porn studios to have you take Emma Hix in the ass, but I may have the next best thing. Remember those choose-your-own-adventure books as a kid? The ones where you flipped through the pages based on...

1 year ago

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RealLifeCam

Real Life Cam! Just face it: you are a creepy old man. Why else would you be interested in spying on other people on reallifecam.com? You are precisely the skeevy guy that girls are warned about and told to watch out for all their lives—the stranger danger stalker, the guy offering candy to girls if they’ll just get into his windowless van, the peeping Tom lurking outside in the dark, beating his meat while a girl gets ready for bed.There is one main difference, come to think of it, between you...

1 year ago

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SwingLifestyle

SLS.com! Do you live the Swing Lifestyle, or have you ever considered swapping partners with other horny local couples? Before the Internet, it was hard to find like-minded swingers to fool around with, but we’ve come a long fucking way since the days of awkwardly asking your coworkers if their wife would be DTF. Why risk a sexual harassment accusation or an uppercut from a dude who takes it entirely the wrong way when you say you’d really like to bang his old lady? Today, we’re going to look...

1 year ago

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LifeUnderCam

Life Under Cam! Voyeurism is a fetish old as time. For as long as people have been fucking, there has been some sad, lonely guy who has wanted to watch those people fucking. I guarantee you that, even in the days when Neanderthals ruled the earth, there was a cave woman getting fucked monkey style by her mate and some other cave man was watching, unbeknownst to the couple, jacking his dick out of sight. It’s just human nature to be curious; it’s just human nature to want to see other people...

1 year ago

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LifePornStories

Life Porn Stories! I’m a big fan of the kind of stories you find in pornography. There’s a good chance any trip to the doctor or real estate viewing will erupt into a full-blown orgy, just like you always wish would happen in real life. The thing is, a lot of really sexy stories also occur in the real world. That’s the premise, or at least the pretense behind LifePornStories, a site full of amateur porn movies showing just how sexy reality can be.LifePornStories.com was registered in 2018, but...

1 year ago

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ThotsLife

Thots Life! How often do you see yourself walking by a hot bitch in public, only to find yourself secretly jerking off as you stare at them? Hopefully not a lot, because that’s how you will end up in jail, you dumb bastard! Do you want to be known as the creep fuck that can’t stop jerking off at women? Maybe you do, perhaps you don’t, but I get the sentiment. When you see a hot piece of ass, sometimes you have to tug on that peen!But consider this. Have you ever stopped to think that some of...

2 years ago

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Afterlife

One moment, you are in bed, and the next, you are standing in your underwear outside a gate which seems to be the entrance to a park. A man in a white uniform greets you. "Hello," he says. "Welcome to Afterlife, the place you go when you die. Normally, I would check you in," he tells you, "but today, we are short on staff and our maximum has been reached. So instead, you get to go back to Earth, as a different person. Choose."

1 year ago

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LIFELINE

The smell of steaming rice and the fumes of teriyaki sauce being painted on soft, juicy chicken enter the room, setting the mood for the usual dinner. Mother always cooked like this of Fridays. This is the only day of the week that Father would come home early from work and the only time where I can converse with him. It's quiet in the kitchen at this time. Mother and Father isn't on good terms right now. The absence of Father from the home worried Mother. She would come up with the most...

4 years ago

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Nightlife

Sadie was a well paid whore. She was beautiful and very sexy. She also loved to fuck and was good at pleasing men. She sold herself the first time at a very young age when her dad's friend paid her to get naked and let him lick her tits and pussy. Then he would finger fuck her but when he first fucked her cunt he paid her a lot. He loved fucking her young body and she loved the money. He soon was fucking her once or twice a week. She would meet him after school and they would go park in his car...

2 years ago

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Afterlife

The sun peeking through your shades stirs you from a restful sleep. As you sit up in your bed you can hear the coffee pot perking, and you thank a god you don’t believe in for coffee timers. You shuffle to the kitchen nook in your studio apartment hoping a cigarette and a hot cup of Joe would combat the pounding of your head. As you prepare your cup you smell something you can’t place, and look at your constantly filled sink silently laughing to yourself. With the warm cup in hand you look for...

4 years ago

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Life

I sit here naked at my laptop typing away telling this narrative. It is a bit of history as I know it.I have been contacted by a young guy that wants to be with an older male and this is not unusual, I have had the pleasure of many young men in the past few years, the youngest being eighteen years of age, or so I was told. I understand now he was a bit younger and I don't know his name or anything so it is irrelevant but good.I have done all the right things, had a shave and a shower, douched...

3 years ago

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Life

Here I lay in this hotel room bed. It's a Friday night. There is plenty of light coming from the bathroom to see the soon-to-be fourteen year old atop his mom with her legs high in the air. I can feel the steady rhythm as the bed creaks and the headboard sways. I love watching her large breasts jiggle each time he slams down into her. I know my wife is close when I hear her hiss through gritted teeth: "Oh yeah, fuck Mommy, fuck mommy good". This is soon followed by a scream of "Oh yea, oh...

2 years ago

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Life

“There will always be negative voices and sometimes those voices can appear to be outsized, and sometimes they can appear to be painfully loud. You can and will use your own voices to drown out the noise. Because that’s what it is just noise.” We are not meant to be breaking each other down; we are meant to be building each other up. The moment we are living through right now asks all of us to do more. It’s a moment where your voices, and your action, have never been more urgently needed. The...

3 years ago

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Life

Well now thats cleared up lets get back to the story. It started in 7th grade, we were all growing or most of us were. We had a foosball table well actually two and thats what we did before school during lunch and after school we had the best times ever at those foosball tables. But one day i was pulled away from one of my friends Kate (ya i know, she's a girl), she told me that one of my good friends Amanda needed to talk to me. So off went to the lockerroom where Amanda was waiting...

3 years ago

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Life

The quad, it's your second day of uni. Everything is new, everyone is new. Your mind wanders from the new sites and people onto why you came to the quad. The activities fair. A chance for you to try new things, meet new people, possibly even meet a girl. Your problems with girls in the past are now gone, nobody here knows you. You can reinvent yourself, however you want so that you can do anything.

3 years ago

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Kitchen clean up leads to the bedroom part 2

Scott had got up from the bed before me. He went into the living room and turned the TV on to one of his favorite shows. I walked into the room wearing one of my favorite skirts that reached the top of my knees and a tank top.I laid down on the couch and put my legs on Scott's lap and began to read one of my books. He put his hand on my knee, and gently caressed it. He moved his fingers to my thigh and under my skirt. He slipped a finger into my boyshorts and into my wet folds. He chucked when...

2 years ago

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My Train Journey 8211 Part I

Hi guys! This is Rahul! Well have i told you guys that i`v taken it as a profession to serve men/woman sexually (homo as well as bi)! Well, i`v got a hell lot of offers in the last month, since my last story. So one person from Delhi contacted me and wanted me to come to Delhi to serve him for one whole week. He was a bussinessman. He sent me a 1st class ticket of Rajdhaani Express & a cheque of 50% advance payment. My experience with my client will be my next story while this story is about my...

3 years ago

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Brother to Trees

I don't know how I got here. I don't know where I am. I'm awake, or at least aware, during the day. As soon as the sun sets I begin to fade away. My attention span lessens until I simply sit, quietly musing, feeling what's around me. I like to sit outside, especially at night. Once it gets cold enough to almost freeze I have to sit inside, though. I remember a few things. It's like a story that someone else lived instead of me. Imagine being a teen-age boy on a farm in northern...

3 years ago

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HIGHER EDUCATION Chapter ONE

{This story is quite long so I will post it a chapter at a time. So far I have written twelve chapters and will be writing more chapters soon. I look forward to comments letting me know what others think. Thank You}Chapter ONECollege Brings New ExperiencesI earned my Masters Degree in the first semester of my colligate life. Okay I can sense that most of you are rolling your eyes and saying something like, ‘My oh my, doesn’t he have a high opinion of his intellect.’ Well let me try to explain...

2 years ago

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The Catalyst RebornChapter 57 Unexpected Surprises

At the “Jail’ in Ibera’s World The Assassin-Blane ‘The Ace’ Murdock POV: I’m getting a really bad feeling about what’s been happening and SOON to happen here. There’s no way they’re just going to dump us on an island and then forget about us. With all the contacts we still have I know some of our friends would eventually find us and rescue us. At least that’s what many of us are hoping. But, and my ‘compatriots’ still haven’t come to grips with it yet, I don’t believe we’re still in the...

3 years ago

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An Almost Sexual Love Affair 8211 Part 2

This is the Part 2 of the story, please read the Part 1, to get the proceedings of the continuing story. This is based on real incidents, spanning over several years, so patience & sensitivity is urged from the readers. Introduction: The story starts in a Medical college, where Arnab meets Natasha. Arnab is a handsome, fair & a fit guy, while Natasha is a slight dusky, quite curvy with right amounts of fats in right regions making her very desirable & sensuous. They are young, beautiful hence...

4 years ago

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Murphy 1Chapter 2

“Mom, you awake?” Robby asked, as he looked across the small RV to where he saw his Mom lying naked in her bunk, with her back to him. She had kicked the cover off her, and he couldn’t help but look at her dark tanned body. “I’m trying to wake up, Robby. Good morning. Did you enjoy your night?” “I sure did, Mom, did you?” “Yes, I did, as a matter of fact; I met the man next to us in the little pop-up camper, and we drank a few beers, and ate a snack. I really liked talking to him; he lives...

4 years ago

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Loni CAW 12

********** Aging fishermen tell stories about “the one that got away.” The one that got away from me was a girl named Loni. ***** The heat waves shimmered in the distance, inexorably rising off the sand in an unmerciful display of mother nature's authority. Shade was nowhere to be found. Off to the left, a transistor radio could be heard, the music of the Beatles signaling the start of another day on the beach. It was the summer of '69. It was the summer of...

4 years ago

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An Ordinary Mans Life Ch 12

————— Edited and polished by Bronzeage. Great job, thank you. ————— Mike stood beside his limo as Todd and the women emerged from the house. He had been informed a fourth passenger was joining Todd and his girlfriends this evening. He and Todd had been good friends since his father helped him out of a financial dilemma two years ago. He had now four limos in his business and was very successful. He had always been the driver for the Walgren family in the past and Todd’s father had never...

2 years ago

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Sex With Bhabhi

This is my second story in ISS, Please excuse me for any typo. I am a big fan of ISS since 3 years and almost read all the stories published. First of all let me introduced myself, I am Vicky Smart, Good looking fair in color stay in Mumbai Suburbs, Not a Gym type body but average. I live in society which is quite big and there are lot of people who are in jobs. My wife (Komal) has a very good friend named Shanti , lives with her husband and a kid. She was very frequent visitor in my house and...

2 years ago

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Our First Time As We Desired

So readers a brief intro, myself splat, aged 26 from Lucknow. An average looking guy and have just completed my MBBS in 2012. I was introduced to gay sex in my early teens by my Uncle who while sleep made me rub his manhood and did same to me. However I must say I was Virgin until I met him. Sanju was 26 years old and he found me on PR. Before meeting Sanju I was not sure if I want to try anal sex or not but two meetings with him and I knew I want Him. Sanju and me have been boyfriends for 1...

4 years ago

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The train

It was a hot day and even the fine sundress and gossamer thin lacy undies weren’t keeping me cool as I rushed to catch my train. I was so pleased to be going to see Lucy, her house was great and in beautiful countryside, seeing my goddaughter and spoiling her would be fun and long chats in to the night with Luce would be just what I needed.Thankfully the train was empty. A young couple sat snuggled up, they looked like teenagers maybe going on their first weekend together, I mused. An older...

4 years ago

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A Stones Glow AwayChapter 6

“Ok, maybe I don’t have a clue, but I have to find out what they are doing to the village,” thought Ledger. When he reached the point he could see the edges of the village, he spotted a group of six men blocking the road at the edge of town. He immediately turned off the road and made it to the cover of the trees before anybody took notice of him. He climbed a solid looking tree near the edge closest to the town. From his vantage, he saw something that would haunt him for some time to come....

4 years ago

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uncle son

I am Kamini, 20, beautiful, with good body features, fair, and healthy. But God had given me an itchy cunt. Right from my childhood I used to massage my boobs and cunt without the knowledge of my parents or others in the family. I used to watch through the keyhole my father fucking my mother and used to finger myself to an orgasm. I used vegetables or any object immediately available to satisfy my itch. Sometimes the table corners, or umbrella handles come handy for my relief. But in front of...

3 years ago

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A Familys Sex Education Part 2

The kids all came back from changing out of their wet clothes, all except for Becky. I yell up the stairs to her that dinner was on the table and to get down here. I am getting the kids drinks and pouring myself another rum and coke when I finally hear Becky bounding down the steps. As I enter the dining room I see Becky has changed and had on a tight thin white tank top. I also notice she decided against wearing her training bra. Her nipples are still hard and clearly visible. She brushes...

2 years ago

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AnathemaChapter 2

Footfalls dance along the walls as the tall lithe woman walks steadily down the alleyway. She has her arms wrapped tightly around her body and her breaths come out quickly. Every single bit of noise, other than her steps makes her look over her shoulder. She realizes that it was a mistake to take the short cut through the alley, but her pride won’t let her turn back. Besides, she is nearly to the other side and then from there it will be straight home. The woman feels a gush of wind behind...

4 years ago

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Conquest

It had been said that if a third World War broke out, civilization would be so ruined that the fourth would be fought with sticks and stones.  While not entirely accurate, it was true that by the time World War III ended at the turn of the 22nd century, human progress had been set back by over a century and the world map had been scrambled beyond recognition.The city of Yerevan had been fortunate in that it was spared the brunt of the war's wrath.  By 2242 it had grown into a prosperous and...

4 years ago

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THOU SHALT NOT STEAL

SCOTLAND 1953THOU SHALT NOT STEAL Stella Brown had been back at St Augustine Catholic girls school, For approximately two weeks now after the summer holidays.Since she had been back she had caned a number of girls. For various reasons, ranging from bullying to theft.Tara the fifth former whom she was on her way to see this very evening was the girl she had caned this very morning for theft, after catching her in the staff room rifling through the draws and Stella’s own...

4 years ago

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College Collage MChapter 3 Declaration of Independence

Andy Trainor was barely back in Evanston from the University of Illinois when he decided that Dad was running his life too much. It was time for him to declare his independence, and church was a good occasion to do so. “Y’know,” he said on their way to church. “I didn’t attend in Champaign.” “I know. You told me, once.” Dad was probably trying to evade the question. “Well, I didn’t. Don’t you think attending up here reeks of hypocrisy? It’s not Andy attending; it’s Jim Trainor dragging his...

4 years ago

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Passing with flying colors

Waking up to the screeching sound of a rocking wooden bed as my body moved in a constant motion opposite to that of the bed’s, forward, backward, forward, backward and so on, I felt edgy yet happy, there was this tension building up through my body while lying in bed on my back, slightly regaining consciousness, I felt my penis throbbing inside a squishy wet hole and was fully erect; buried in that very tight soft wet hole which belonged to a small body, a fragile entity, this entity was warm,...

3 years ago

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Gambit fucks the XWomen Marvel Comics XMen

Remy LeBeau pulled a long drag from the rolled cigarette he held between his lips, his gaze trained on nothing in particular. The evening air fresh and warm, he stood at the end of the walkway that extended out into the lake on which the boathouse where he lived lay. Not one for crowds Remy had chosen not to live in the mansion with the other members of the Xavier Institute, the boathouse providing him with all the solitude he required. His highly trained sense of awareness picked up someone...

2 years ago

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The New Girl in School Part 8Black Friday Heist

NGIS Part 8-Black Friday Heist (November 20, 25; December 3-4, 9-10 2017) So Chloe knew something was up, but not sure. As she drove back to the safe house, she wondered why Morton had been cryptic in the recent text message. It was the Friday before Thanksgiving, and the school would be closed all of the next week. She got to the driveway and parking her car, made her way into the house. As soon as she entered the house, she saw Morton in the main room, some maps and other papers...

1 year ago

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JulesJordan Ryan Conner Super Bubble Butt Gets Probed By Dredds Big Black Cock

Booty Queen Ryan Conner and her HUGE ass are back for some hardcore ass fucking with our new cocksman Dredd! Ryan’s looking better than ever as she shows off all her curves in a hypnotizing black and white bodysuit and black stiletto’s. This blonde MILF’s got one of the biggest and thickest asses I’ve ever seen, pair that with her giant tits and her ever talented mouth and you’ve got a seasoned fuck machine that’s ready to please! Ryan’s always been a...

3 years ago

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Hot Relationship With Sexy Receptionist In Hubli

Dear iss fans myself Rahul (name changed due to privacy) working in mnc company sales and marketing job. My height is 5.9, normal physic good looking guy 28 year. My monster is a normal Indian size 5 inch. Please comment after reading Come to heroine of the story was Sanju receptionist in Hubli lodge, usually I will visit every month 2 to 4 day to Hubli due sale job. Hubli is growing City with limited lodge usually getting rooms very tough. Once have suddenly visited Hubli with proper pre plan...

2 years ago

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Breaks of the Game Chapter 3

At precisely five a.m. Spade was brought out of a deep sleep by a loud pounding on the door. Sitting up with eyes wide and breaking out in a cold sweat, he growls, "Damn woman, you didn't happen to be a goddamned Marine gunny did ya?" "I coulda been, but I wanted to be a cop, now you eating with me or what?" Spade smiles as he hears a soft laugh outside the door. "Can I shower first or do you want me to smell like a goat?" Nikkie giggles, "Do what you like, smell however you like, just don't...

4 years ago

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Marriage is a Compromise Part 2

Marriage is a Compromise 2 It was after two in the afternoon on Sunday when Parker woke. He'd always been an early riser and he hadn't really gotten the hang of his new schedule. He glanced to the other side of the bed and saw that Olivia was already gone. With a contented sigh, he pushed back the bed covers and sat up, immediately aware of his clothing. The lace trim of the baby blue nightgown played around his chest as the oversized garment ballooned, then settled around him, causing...

4 years ago

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Husbanette

Al's wife had built on his mother's discipline training. She'd gotten him well trained into accepting any and all punishment she wished to inflict on him. Through psychological humiliation and skilled brainwashing, he was now very tractable and slavish.Yes, his wife's punishment was painful, but after it was over, the joy of knowing he'd been forgiven by her seem to outweigh the pain.His wife, Cora had trained her mollycoddled young husband to not move or pull away as she slaps him hard. He...

4 years ago

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Fucked Reader8217s Mom On Request

Hi all.. After my previous story, I was pinged by my many. Most people wanted to have Sex with the ladies mentioned in the story and some approached me for fuck. But there was one unique request which got my attention. A guy asked me if I could fuck his mother. His name was Piyush. I was slightly turned on. Someone just asked me to fuck their own mother. WOW!!!. I started asking him details. He told me about his mom and I was really excited. She was 47 years old. 36 32 38 stats… And she’s...

3 years ago

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The Deception of Choice Episode 20

The Deception of Choice. Episode Twenty, comprising Chapter 46. Preamble. Wherein those concerned, or merely mildly curious, about David's fate may find some answers. That elusive 'Why?' being finally discovered. As well as revelations concerning impending global disasters. There is a walk in Wordsworth's 'wild untrodden ways' as well as train, car and boat journeys. No Plymouth gin although a thirst is slaked by beck-chilled ale. There is a poem by Anne but Grace de Messembry is...

2 years ago

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Castaway ExplorerChapter 20

"Put Price on the main display screen," I ordered Jen. The forward screen changed to a larger than life view of Price in a command chair of a starship. He angrily slammed his hand down on his armrest, clearly communicating his surprise at seeing me in command. He radiated malice and a hardness that carried no kindness or respect for others. Price was in a different uniform that looked rather comical with lots of ribbons and awards dangling on his chest. He was meticulously dressed, almost...

4 years ago

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Evening Light Ch 06

This is the conclusion to Grace and Lucas’ story. I hope you like it. As always, your comments are always valuable. Enjoy * Lucas again avoided Grace as much as he could. He could tell she was mad at him for walking out but he needed to sort out his feelings. He owed her that much. His sister had called telling him that she was coming for a visit. He was thrilled, he missed her since she and her husband moved. They weren’t that far but work and other commitments meant they didn’t see each...

3 years ago

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Statute of Limitations

To the reader: This is my first attempt at writing. If you like it that would encourage me to write more. If you don’t, then I’ll just continue writing software. Either way I would appreciate your comments. PART 1 — Opening Pandora’s Box Sunday, October 3, 2010 ‘Hon, just have a great time and don’t worry about me. I’ve got plenty to do around here. I can’t get into any trouble,’ Richard says as they walk down the sidewalk to the airport shuttle van. ‘Just remember, don’t let your sister...

2 years ago

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The Visit

Introduction: Our friend & my lady cumth. The Visit First, the shower. We (you & I) undress very slowly &hellip,. than I lead you to the shower by your gorgeous soft but handy cock, assuming that it is still soft. I open the shower curtain, turn on the water so that it will get hot and have you step into the tub. I wet you down and begin to soap you all over, concentrating on your hardening cock. I continue soaping you all over, soaping your back, reaching around you, soap up and down your...

3 years ago

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Jokes and GigglesChapter 667

Keep in mind this is likely British Humor this one is compliments of tiller For all the Kenny Everett fans out there... ‘Allo mental cripples, Sidney Aloysius Snot ‘ere. I woz walkin’ down the ‘igh street yestidee wif me gurlfriend Diedre. you know window shopping like, when Diedre says “Oh Sidney, I would love to have those boots” So I grabs a brick, ‘eaves it through the window and gives ‘er the boots. We walks a bit further down and Diedre says “Oh Sidney, I would love to have that...