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Time marched on. I dated Eve and Danielle, trained for the 10K, practiced the basics of Kung Fu, and at the last minute, faced the fact that I needed to buy gifts for Christmas, now only two days away. Shopping was imperative. Argh!

I bought Danielle a Van Cliburn CD I knew she didn't have and wanted. Eve would receive a 3-step skin care system from Clinique she'd looked at longingly when we were together at the mall one afternoon after we'd made love. The frequency of our assignations had increased to two or three times a week when studying no longer concerned her so much after school let out for the Christmas break. Just the opposite happened with Danielle. I saw less of her and suspected one or more ex-boyfriends had resurfaced, home from college for the holidays, because she cancelled or reshuffled our date nights a few times, which didn't upset me all that much. I wasn't in love with her, with Eve either. My dating plan was working. I was getting all the companionship and loving from the opposite sex I needed or wanted without the excruciating pain that gut-wrenching love entailed.

I purchased clothes for Carrie and my mother. They were easy. I knew what they liked and wanted as well as their sizes. When I asked Dad what he wanted for Christmas, he told me he needed a new belt and provided elaborate specifications. I took his request seriously.

But, an idea for a gift for Jenny girl remained elusive. Thinking about what to give her made me realize how important she'd become to me. I treasured her friendship, not to mention her expert guidance during the sometimes-grueling training sessions for the 10K during the wee hours of the mornings and her lively companionship during practice sessions for Kung Fu each evening.

She needed new clothes. The garments she wore hung on her like tents, but I didn't know her sizes, which could be remedied. I called her mother.

"Mrs. Hall, it's Paul. I want to get Jenny a snazzy running outfit for Christmas, but I don't know her size."

She laughed. "I don't know her sizes anymore either. She has refused to try on or buy new clothes until she reaches her fighting weight, as she calls it."

"Argh!" I groaned. "I'm at a loss, Mrs. Hall. Any suggestions?"

"Earrings would be nice. She has pierced ears."

Zale's had a sale on emerald earrings that would match Jenny's expressive green eyes. As usual, I came in just under the wire buying the earrings on Christmas Eve. Carrie helped me wrap my gifts, except hers, of course. Mom wrapped that one.

On Christmas day, Danielle took me to her room. We listened to the Van Cliburn CD I'd given her while she went down on me. Besides the blow job, she gave me a new dress shirt, a soft yellow button-down. I returned Danielle's gesture and licked her through two orgasms before I rushed away to meet Eve.

Eve squealed with pleasure over my gift, which I augmented with flowers. You guessed it — red roses. She gave me a shirt jacket, black with a zipper — very classy. We demonstrated our appreciation for the gifts by doing the deed in the back seat of my mother's car in a park near Eve's home.

Jenny girl opened the tiny box nestling the earrings and looked up at me with adoration. "Perfect," she breathed, her eyes looking a little weepy. "How did you know?"

"I didn't, just hoped."

The box she handed me wasn't any larger than the one I gave her. When I opened it, I wasn't sure what it was and looked at her quizzically.

"It's your very own ChampionChip, Paul. It's an automatic timing device, and it's required for the Desert Classic 10K, but it can be used in many other races all over the world. It provides accurate net and split times for every runner in the race who wears one."

"Cool. How does it work?"

"From what I understand, it's a miniature transponder in a specially designed housing marked with a unique identification number. It contains no batteries, and it's inactive until moved into a magnetic field generated by a send antenna in a mat. Your chip will then transmit your unique identification number to the receive antenna in the mat in less than 60 milliseconds."

I laughed. "You just gave me more information than I needed to know. What you're saying is if I clip on my ChampionChip before I run a race, it will tell me and you and anyone else, especially race officials, how fast I ran the race. Right?"

"Yeah."

The hug we gave each other surprised me. I didn't feel a lot of extra girl-flesh, and although her breasts were soft, they didn't feel like large pillows.

"Have you taken off another layer, Jenny girl?"

She beamed and nodded. "Only ten pounds to go. I'm hoping for New Year's Day, maybe the day before."

I hugged her again. Nope no extra flesh anywhere that I could feel. "You're something else, Jenny. I'm proud of you."

Twenty-Seven

Race day was bright and clear, but brisk. Besides worrying how I'd fare in the 10K that was about to start, I had a couple of other problems. At different times, Eve and Danielle had asked to go with me so they could watch me race. When I made excuses and refused, they both showed up independently.

Be sure your sins will find you out.

Jenny girl considered the situation hilarious. "The time to worry is after the race, buddy boy, when they both want to hug and kiss you at the same time."

"You enjoy seeing me in pain, don't you? You're a durned sadist, that's what you are."

"Forget them. They'll either forgive you or slap you silly, but not before the race. Are you warmed up?"

"Enough."

"Run your race, Paul. Don't let anyone push you beyond the pace you want to run. If you run a 33 minute 10K, you could win this race."

"You're kidding."

"Nope. The winning time last year was 35 minutes 49 seconds. The year before, it was 33 minutes 58 seconds."

I jumped up and down to limber up a little, also to burn off some adrenalin. The winning times excited me. I actually had a chance to cross the finish line first. Amazing!

"You'll be runnin' in a crowd of over 160 registered runners, so you'll probably be jostled around a little. I've got some poster board. I'll try to give ya your spit times at 3K, 5K and 8K. I'll write the times on the poster board and wave it at you, so look for me. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Make me proud, buddy boy."

As usual, I started too fast. The hoard of runners around me threw me off my pace. Some of them sprinted away like they were doing a 100-yard dash, not 6.2 miles. Some of them loped along as if they didn't have a care in the world and all day to do it in. A few of them even stepped out with a brisk walk. Did they plan to walk the distance?

When the crowd strung out, I settled down and did what Jenny told me to do. I ran my race. I missed Jenny for the 3K split, but noticed her for the 5K. She'd jotted 14:56 on the poster board. Too fast, but my pace felt right, dammit. I was running easy with the stride I preferred. I felt loose with lots of reserve, which of course started to change about the 8K mark. Would I hit my lactate threshold too soon?

I watched one runner ahead of me stagger and fall to the side. Some spectators helped him off the course, and my body was strongly suggesting I do the same. Uh-uh, I muttered. You can do it, buddy boy. Keep on keepin' on.

I passed another runner, but two others ahead of me still slapped their feet to the ground. Was I in third place? If so, would third place make Jenny girl proud? Naw! She was a greedy gut. All or nothing. That's how she was handling her weight loss. All out! Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead, which isn't appropriate for a distance runner. All right for the fartlek, though.

Argh! The fartlek hurt! So did the 10-mile run. Both were more painful than the 10K. Go for it, you lazy, no-account slug. Step out. You can keep goin'. I edged up to another runner who glanced at me as if I'd come out of nowhere.

Well, you're right, fella. I have come out of nowhere. This is my first official 10K, and I'm a gonna beat ya, run ya into the ground; that's what I'm a gonna do. Ya hear me!

I saw a crowd in front of me, a blurry bunch. My eyes weren't working right. Not much about me was working right, but everything was still working.

A finish tape! Yes! It was still fluttering across the finish line ready to be broken! Can I catch that gazelle in front of me? Yeah, I can. Bet your last dollar I can. Here I come, everybody. Everybody loves somebody... what were the rest of the lyrics? Doesn't matter. Run, you fool. Run your heart out!

Slap, slap, slap...

The other runner heard me coming at him, heard my feet hitting the ground, heard my gasping breath sucking in oxygen, probably heard the loud thumping, pounding of my overworked heart.

Slap, slap, slap...

I caught him! Good golly Miss Molly, I caught him! Now, can I pass him up?

The finish tape loomed larger. A few more strides would do it, and then I could rest.

The other runner didn't rest; he did what I didn't do. He reached way down deep inside him and pulled up a little extra something and hit the finish tape a half-stride ahead of me.

I staggered and slowed, and then spied some bright green winter grass — just what I needed. The grass cuddled me. I rolled and looked up at a vivid blue sky and one small, lonely cloud, pure white in a field of blue.

Jenny girl landed next to me, imposing flashes of green - her wonderful, happy eyes and the facets of emeralds glittering in the sunlight. She kissed me, I mean really kissed me, would've curled my toes if they'd had enough strength to curl.

"You did good, buddy boy! Real good! 32 minutes 42 seconds!"

"Second place," I managed to gasp.

"Yes! Amazing! This isn't high school, buddy boy. You took on all comers and ran them all into the ground except one. You came in first place in your age group. You'll get a medal. You made me proud, Paul!"

She kissed me again, but the kiss wasn't serious, not like the first one. I think she finally realized I needed all the breathing room I could muster, and kissing curtailed the effort. She rolled off me and moved gracefully to her feet.

"Upsey-daisy, big guy," she said, pulling at my arm. "You've a fan club to face."

"Argh! Let me lie here and die."

She laughed gaily. "Ah, they'll forgive you, buddy boy. They'll huff and puff, but in the end, they'll forgive you, unless you told one of 'em she was your one and only. You didn't, did you?"

"No. Okay, help me up. I'll face the music."

Be sure your sins will find you out.

Twenty-Eight

Danielle ran toward me and leapt into my arms. Eve had also started toward me but stumbled to a stop as Danielle flashed by her. While Danielle kissed me enthusiastically, Eve looked utterly stunned. I heard Jenny girl giggling behind me. I silently cursed her almost svelte hide.

When Danielle let me come up for air, I nibbled on her earlobe and whispered, "Eve wants to congratulate me, too."

Danielle's eyes widened and she stepped back.

I turned to Eve and held out my arms. With an audible whimper, she rushed to me, throwing her arms around my neck, plastering her elegant body against me while burrowing her face into my shoulder. When I lifted her chin with my fingers, she mashed her mouth to mine.

I'm ashamed to say I watched Danielle's reaction out of the corner of my eye. Like Eve moments ago, she looked shocked, but before the kiss with Eve ended, I saw a small smile creep onto her lips. Danielle would be all right, I reasoned, but I worried about Eve. She seemed more emotional about the turn of events than I expected.

When I glanced at Jenny girl, she wasn't smiling. A serious frown wrinkled her brow, and another question surfaced. Just what was that serious kiss Jenny planted on me all about?

Girls! Yet again I'd been foolhardy enough to believe I'd figured them out. Hah! My dad had the right idea. He readily admitted he didn't understand the opposite sex and had quit trying to get a handle on how they thought or how they'd react in any given situation.

I did what any red-blooded boy would do in a similar situation. I made a hasty retreat. The Desert Classic took place at Scottsdale Community College, and they provided locker rooms and showers for the participants.

When I emerged dressed after a shower, Jenny was waiting for me. She didn't look any happier than she did before my calculated withdrawal.

"Danielle left," Jenny announced. "She told me to tell you to give her a call." She huffed a laugh. "I think she was amused by the situation." After an exasperated sigh, Jenny added, "Eve, on the other hand, is devastated. You screwed up, buddy boy. Your dating experiment to have some uncomplicated fun backfired big time. Eve is in love with you."

Her statement dumbfounded me briefly. With a shake of my head, I said, "You're wrong. Neither of us has expressed any love or even deep feelings for the other. We're just..."

"Durned fool," Jenny muttered, interrupting me.

"What makes you think she's in love with me? Did she say something?" I asked.

"Criminy, Paul! It's as obvious as the nose on your face! Argh! Come on. You've an award or two comin' to ya. Your love life is a horrible mess, but you did good on the 10K."

Twenty-Nine

It didn't take me long to realize Jenny girl was right yet again. Eve refused to leave my side except during the award ceremonies. Her clinging irritated me, but I tried to tamp down my negative reactions.

I didn't want Eve to love me. I didn't love her. I admired her, respected her, appreciated her company and thoroughly enjoyed the sex we shared, but I didn't love her and never would.

When she asked if she could drive me home instead of Jenny, I accepted, electing to face her and her feelings in private as soon as possible.

When I informed Jenny that I planned to ride home with Eve, Jenny said, "Thought so. Don't lead her on, buddy boy. Don't be your normal, wishy-washy self. Tell her like it is. Be brutal if you have to. Anything less would do the girl a disservice. Call me later."

Once alone with Eve, I asked her if she was in love with me. Her pretty face scrunched up and tears welled in her eyes. She slapped the steering wheel with the palm of her hand, exhaled a curse and pulled to the side of the road.

"You drive," she ordered as she scrambled out of the car to move around to the passenger seat. I squirmed over to the driver's seat and was adjusting it to fit my long legs when she moved back into the car and slammed the door.

I turned to her. "You didn't answer my question."

She refused to look at me; her damp eyes focused somewhere in the distance. Finally, she said, "Yes, I'm in love with you. I fell hard for you before our first date ended. You were so different than all the other boys that I'd dated. Men, too. I couldn't help it. You were kind and polite and listened, really listened, and you cared about me. Me! You treated me with respect. Your compliments were honest, not just words thrown out so you could get into my pants. You let me be me, Paul. You applauded my desire to hit the books, my desire to backup my modeling with a good education."

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The Way of the WorldChapter 4

Naked, we went down the hall to the communal bath. I carried a knife though there shouldn't be any issues in a bath. It was considered impolite. Women entered these places knowing that they would be having sex with any men who wanted them. It was the way of the world. We walked in and there were two men who had obviously arrived just before us. One of them raised his hand in salute. "Hello, I am Morri, a trader from the Western mountains." The other was quieter. He said, "I am Frustic...

1 year ago
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2nd time with daddy

So at this point it has been a few weeks since my first ever encounter. I told my 18 year old that one experimental time was enough but as the weeks passed I grew hornier by the day , constantly thinking about that first time with the daddy from down the road. I couldn't get the thought out of my head and so its no surprise that late one night there I was again making the drive to his house again. Once again I was overcome with tremendous anxiety and fear as I made the 5 minute drive to his...

4 years ago
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The Costume Shop

You are looking for a costume for Friday's Halloween party at Victor's house. All the ones you could make at home are lame, and ones you've done before. You want something new and sexy, so maybe someone might get interested and maybe you can get laid. You've been fallow for far too long. You head downtown toward one of the big costume rental shops when you see a new shop just four blocks from your house. You could swear it wasn't there last week. It is in a building that had been a big...

2 years ago
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Saving Gina Ch 05

Yoni, Gina and I left the Palms after only five days, just to be sure we were waiting when Prince Tulan returned. We were all nervous. We were all emotionally invested in the project and each other. That day passed slowly and casually. We were playful. I got flashed and kissed the flashing pussy or boob. But our minds were racing. There was only room for small talk, walks and ineffective work. We watched the Prince return about sunset but we did not hear from him. All night I tossed and...

4 years ago
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Columbus Trials

Introduction: Columbus petitioned the court of Ferdinand and Isabella for years, always being told his estimates of the size of the globe were far too small, that he was a fool for thinking he could cross to the Orient by sailing into the endless great Atlantic Ocean. Then suddenly he had hi ships and the rest is history. What changed? Heres one fun idea… Your majesty? You called for me? I asked as I entered the very small bedchamber, more suitable for a servant than the queen of Spain. Ah...

2 years ago
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A girl from the bar

This guy picks up a chick in the bar and takes her to a private room, the only thing on his mind is to fuck her, but there’s a surprise that the chick has prepared for him!When I stepped down to the hotel’s bar I didn’t even notice that girl at once. I sat my ass down on the sofa in the corner and ordered some whisky. A waitress girl said I needn’t to pay for my drink as it was checked by a girl sitting near by facing me. I looked at her: it was young fresh meat like blonde babe who looked very...

2 years ago
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Lessons Of Kota 8211 Part 10 Sherry8217s Confession

Thanks, everyone for reading my previous stories. This is the 10th part of the series. Happy and horny reading Well, without any further thinking I went straight for the vagina for the tongue attack. For a moment she also wondered at what I was doing. But before she could figure anything out I was already licking over her vagina. All she could do was to moan in pleasure. The moans got intense as I inserted my tongue into the vagina. The taste was a bit salty and sour. I dunno what was driving...

4 years ago
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George Isolde and the Brass Ring Polka Band

Dedication This dedication is long and necessarily so. The book has taken me three decades to write, mostly because I didn’t start actually putting pen to paper, so to speak, until I had all my background ducks in a row. Putting ducks in a row is like herding cats, patience becomes the primary virtue. This book is Tom Woolfolk’s fault. Well, actually, Tom’s and Sheila’s jointly. We three commuted to work together for a few years in the early eighties, and during those long and boring rides,...

4 years ago
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Would You Like Some Milk With That

*A special thank you to the user peterbuilt for this lovely story idea. It was a Saturday night, just a few minutes past ten. Eighteen year-old, co-ed Nicole was walking back home after ditching a crazy fraternity party that was on campus. Nicole didn't live in a dorm or apartment. She decided to stay home with her father because she was still too scared to live on her own completely. Nicole arrived at the front doorstep and she got out her keys. She put them in the keyhole, not knowing about...

Incest
2 years ago
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Sarafina Six

Saturday was a bright day. Autumn was in full swing, but we were having one of those Indian Summers, I guess. A very late remnant of summer was reminding us how warm and comforting the country could be. I was driving outside London on a country road just off the motorway. I was enjoying it. How could I fail to? Mrs. Milner had given me the keys to a cream coloured Mini Cooper Sport cabriolet, and I had the top down. I was travelling down to Eton to pick up a young pupil for the...

3 years ago
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Ass Pounder Gay

I slipped the key into room 503 and jiggled the lock. The well worn lock resisted at first. As the pin tumblers engaged the lock begrudgingly let me in. I was horny as hell and it had been slow getting laid lately. The night before had been a complete waste of time. I tossed my backpack in the corner and quickly stripped down. I tossed my clothes on top of the backpack and pulled out my lube and poppers. I lubed my ass hoping it was mostly clean. I had cleaned out prior to leaving the...

2 years ago
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Three Virgin Freshwomen

or "Happiest Guy On Campus" Chapter 1: Proposition "What!?" wasn't a terribly snappy response but the question had come out of left field, so "What!?" was the best I could manage on the spur of the moment. "We want you to be our first," Julie said again, sitting down across from me in the dorm floor's kitchen, smiling her enigmatic smile. Making a great leap of understanding (or was it outrageous, lustful hope?) I asked and at the same time answered the obvious question: "You...

3 years ago
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MY NEIGHBOUR AND FIRST TIME FOR ME

SUSAN'S MOTHER AND FATHER HAD TO GO AND LOOK AFTER THEIR SICK AUNTAND ASKED MY MOTHER COULD SUSAN STAY WITH US FOR A FEW DAYS.WE DIDN'T HAVE A SPARE BEDROOM BUT SINCE I WAS ONLY TWELVE AND SHE 14 MUM THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OK FOR SUSAN TO sleep IN THE SAME BEDROOM.THERE WERE TWO SEPARATE BEDS AND SHOWING HER AROUND MY COCK STARTEDTO BULGE IN MY SHORTS.SUSAN BRUSHED UP AGAINST ME THEN RUBBED HER HAND OVER MY BULGE IN MYPANTS AND THEN SAID "WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SOME FUN TONIGHT'THAT NIGHT AFTER...

1 year ago
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MylfDom Tara Ashley Condiment Cooch Punishment

Tara Ashley is every dominant guys dream girl. She knows exactly how to serve her man and can do it flawlessly almost every time. Today, she is tasked with making a sandwich for her guy, but when she loses track of her mind, she accidentally puts some mustard on the bread. She can hear his scolding voice echo in her head as she makes the mistake, and she immediately knows what the consequences are. But part of her is secretly happy that she screwed up. Nothing turns her on more than getting...

xmoviesforyou
2 years ago
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The Thrust Onto Cloud Nine

Alice May was bored. She had been coming to these swingers do's for two months, but now she was getting disinterested in the same blokes, the same procedure, nothing that was on the agenda really gave her satisfaction; sure she was fucked, sure she sucked blokes off but it was the same old lengths, the same old thickness, she wanted a cock that would send her off the planet, she wanted something at least a foot in length and inches in thickness. Now as she sat, legs apart, tits bare she gave...

3 years ago
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A Saturday Morning Fantasy

The internet and Google makes it easier for there to be ‘unexpected connections’.“Hey T,” the email read, “Are you going to the APA convention in Denver?  Love to see you there.” The American Psychological Association annual meeting was held there in 2016, the time frame of this story.The email  was signed ‘Russ’, and my Russ memories came flooding back. Russ was an associate professor when I was in grad school. We had a short, intense, erotic fling.  That was a dozen years ago, and his email...

Wife Lovers
3 years ago
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party of bachelors

Bachelors PartyEver since we’d gotten married, I had been teasingmy wife Linda about how much I was looking forward toseeing her fuck another man. This always generatedgreat sex for us and I think it was something she washoping some day would actually played outOne of my old friends from high school was getting marriedand his bachelor party was coming up and Linda wouldusually pout and try to tell me that we didn’t need to haveone. The thought of me and a few of my friends drinkingand watching...

4 years ago
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A woman is forced into a lesbian relationship with a coworker

As usual, I went to lunch just before noon. As usual, I got on the elevator. As usual, I pushed the button for the ground floor. And, as usual, I had to stop for someone else. The doors opened and a woman got on. I’d seen her around before, and I knew that men at work found her attractive. I myself was a bit jealous of her. She was my age, late thirties, well-built. In the past, I had always tried to ignore her. Not today. She glanced casually around as the doors closed. She pushed the...

3 years ago
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A Lady and the Student Ch 03

Marvin sat comfortably in an armchair, in the study, contemplating the progress of his new found affluence. The first few tries at hypnosis had been a success, earning a small amount, and stirring the idea of taking advantage of a niche market. Almost a year ago Marvin worked in a laboratory, where the manager lusted after a secretary, Daisy. She took full advantage of the poor guy, without giving an inch. Marvin bet the nerdy, no hoper of a manager, that hypnosis would get her interested in...

1 year ago
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Fucking Pooja Didi In Front Of Her Husband

This story is dedicated to my sister Pooja and is a tribute to our incest relationship. Pooja, I love you. I had fucked my sister Pooja a day before her wedding and now it had been 3 months. I had just come home when the phone rang. “Hello” I said”Manu bhaiya!!! It has been such a long time since I heard you. Tell Mom to send you here. I have good news for you. I am pregnant. Next week is Karwa Chauth and Mom will send you to me with some gifts. Bhaiya, you are my gift. I will tell you a lot...

Incest
3 years ago
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Just talking made it work

We had playfully talked about having sex in the same room while others watched. Once we went out and met a guy she thought was cute and we all hit it off and he came home with us just for some drinks. We never were planing anything. When we got to the house my wife served up some drinks and said to get comfy and eyed me to follow her upstairs. I went up stairs and we were just going at each other. I asked her, what if we just let him watch us and she agreed but said she would not have sex with...

3 years ago
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An older guy gets much closer to his young twin si

I guess I should start by telling you a little about myself first. My name is Peter MacAlpin. I am 43, I teach English at Meadow Wood University in Halfinrock Maine, a small town not far from Augusta. I am living in a double decker bus that I converted into a mobile the summer after my freshmen year of college, and have been living in it ever since. When I am not busy with teaching I am working at The Southern Maine Renaissance and Fantasy Faire as a storyteller and rune reader. Back when I was...

3 years ago
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New Society New RulesChapter 6

Life went on in paradise. That's what Maria and I now called the island. A private joke to keep us from turning into Mom. I wanted so much to talk to Dad about my mother, but never could. Sometimes after a night when Mom talked dirty and screamed her pleasure we'd exchange uncomfortable glances, but nothing more. And to his credit, he never brought up anything Maria and I did in the shed or elsewhere. We continued to explore the island. Out of boredom more than hoping we'd find anything....

1 year ago
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Busty Adventures of Brittany Ch 06

Brittany had woken up from her quiet sleep around 10:30am from a phone call from James. He had asked her if she wanted to play football with him and the other guys yesterday. She agreed to play in a sleepy voice and hung up. She stays in bed for a few minutes only to hear a knock on her door."Come in," shouted an aggravated Brittany. Her parents, Michael and Cindy Clarkson walk in to surprise their baby girl. She was stun to see them when she had risen from her bed."Mom? Dad? What a surprise to...

3 years ago
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godess sarita part 1

this is the starting of my new life writing the story on command of my mistress sarita..I was a boy from a poor family. so I had to work besides my study for which my grades were constantly bad.. beside our house lived our neighbor sarita she was a independent women worked in a bank and lived alone as she had no 1 jst had 1 daughter who lives abroad.. sarita had a strong personality brown skin toned body 5.3 inch tall black hair and eyes really attractive but she never spoke to anybody so no 1...

2 years ago
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Plain Jane

After coming home from a long day at the office, she’d found Ray looking like the cat that ate the canary. He was dressed to the nines, looking very handsome in a charcoal French-cuff button up and black slacks, fresh haircut, and a grin that showed where a lot of his parents’ money went in his teen years. Jane smiled, shocked to see him anywhere but his normal spot at 7 in the evening, which was usually on the couch in sweats and a t-shirt, hand resting on his dick Al Bundy-style. “Don’t you...

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