Loosening Up - Book 9 - Fantasies Among The WeedsChapter 4: Repentance free porn video
Jake looked genuinely shocked to see Dave standing in the doorway to his room at the fraternity house. Dave even heard a brief whisper of ‘Shit’ from his mouth.
Jake said in a caustic tone, “You here to tell me I’m totally out of the Circle?”
Dave shook his head. “Quite the opposite, in fact. I’m here to try to get you come back where you belong. We miss you.”
“After what I did and was about to do?” His tone changed to a more conciliatory one. He went on, “I was infected, although I didn’t know at the time. That girl Tanya gave me the clap. I took azithromycin every day for two months and kept my pecker in my pants. I haven’t had sex since I was with Tanya and got the disease. At least, I’m clean now.” Jake gestured to a piece of paper on top of his desk. Dave could see it was a report from the University Clinic two days earlier.
Jake continued, “Do you know, Tanya tracked me down, came here, and apologized – she apologized to ME. She was very contrite but I was so mad I almost hit her. I screamed and ranted at her. She’d ruined my life, but then ... well, it’s taken me all this time to realize that I was the one that ruined my life by not following the rules I’d said I would. I could have even helped her by insisting on a test, but I didn’t.”
As Jake spoke tears welled up in his eyes. He said in a choked-up tone, “I’m so ashamed. How can I ever face all the people at the Circle that trusted me and put their faith and friendship in me.” He sobbed, “I really fucked up bad, and I know it. God, there’s not much else I could do to royally piss off everybody that was ever my friend.”
Dave shrugged and calmly said, “Tanya came to the Circle and also apologized for getting you in trouble. She spoke well of you and I guess that was before she found you. She was contrite and loaded with guilt about what she’d done to you. I think she’d learned a little about the Circle before she came.”
Jake nodded, “I told her some things about it; in fact, I laid it on kind of thick about what a great place it was. I was trying to snow her so I could get laid. I liked her.”
“It still is a great place, and you’re welcome to come back. You don’t belong hiding out in a fraternity house. You moved past this a few years ago.”
Jake shrugged, “The rent is good. I bartend at their parties so the pledges and brothers can have a good time of it. Besides, I probably owe a fortune in dues to the Circle.”
“Zero,” Dave said. “You weren’t coming to meals, so Julie forgave you that portion of your dues. You paid for a month you weren’t there, and so you’re paid up to the end of this month. I know because I checked with Julie this afternoon.”
Jake sighed, “How could I ever show my face back there? I broke trust with every single person there.”
Dave said, “Are you sorry? If so, tell them. I also think you should talk to Tanya again and apologize for the anger you expressed at her. There’s a thing that alcoholics go through called the twelve-step program. I’m not an expert at it, but one of the things you do is to redress the sins that you committed – apologize, try to make it right, sooth over the troubled waters you left behind.
“Another part of the program is to put your faith in a power greater than yourself. In our case, allow the Love – with a capital ‘L’ that we feel for you, to help you heal the guilt or whatever else it is that you feel. Allow us to help you put this behind you.
“You know we have a skilled psychotherapist as one of our members – Bill Lewis. Why don’t you see him for a while, too; let him help you put this shit in perspective. Those meetings are all confidential. It’s not as serious as you’ve made it. Most people have forgotten about it. There is no reason to isolate yourself from those that love you. We’re all human. We all make mistakes.”
Dave thrust his hand out toward Jake in a gesture to shake hands. Jake studied it for a long time as tears rolled down his cheeks.
Finally, he clutched Dave’s hand in both of his. Through his sobs he said, “Thank you. Thank you so much for coming here. God, I’ve missed everyone so much. I’ve been such a schmuck.”
After learning that I’d talked to Tanya Peterson when she’d come to the Circle to apologize for getting Jake in hot water, Jake begged Dave to come with him to see her. Dave thought that he felt he’d be tempted again, and he didn’t want his baser urges to override what he wanted and that was contrition with the Circle and not another hot fuck with Tanya.
Dave suggested he call her to see if she’d accept a visit, and two minutes later the two men were on their way across a corner of the campus to an apartment house full of college students. Tanya was in a one-bedroom apartment on the second floor. The place looked relatively neat, but lived in. Apparently, she didn’t have a roommate.
Jake took a deep breath after Tanya admitted the two men to her small flat. Jake sat on the bed as she sat in her desk chair opposite him. She looked uncertain about her visitors. Jake started, “Tanya, I am here to beg your forgiveness for several things. My apology is sincere and after weeks of thinking about what happened between us, I realize I was very much at fault in many ways.
“First, I heard you were an easy piece of ass, and for some reason I went looking for just that with you. We resonated and had a night of delightful sex, some of it, laughingly, in my car. In doing that, I violated a rule I’d agreed to with the Circle that I wouldn’t have sex with anybody that didn’t have a recent clean bill of health. I think if I’d suggested that, you would have gotten tested and been able to head off the STD much sooner and probably more effectively with the drugs I expect you had to take. Lastly, when I found out that you had indeed passed on the clap to me, I raged and ranted at you. I called you all sorts of cheap names and I remember bringing you to tears. I’m genuinely sorry for my reaction. Please, I beg you, forgive me – if not today, then over time as this matter fades into history for you.”
Tanya was speechless as Jake spoke. Dave stood off to the side and out of the way so the two could face off.
Tanya rose and took three steps forward and wrapped Jake into a warm hug. She didn’t let go right away, either. Eventually, she pulled back slightly and kissed him. She had tears in her eyes.
“Jake, you are the nicest man I ever met on campus.” Tanya paced and then turned to him, “I accept your apology, only I think it’s unnecessary. Allow me to lay out for you my take on what happened. First, many of the names you called me were accurate – I was a slut and maybe I still am. I never got paid for sex, but if a guy bought me dinner and a movie, I was a sure thing on the first date. That’s how we connected, and I remember how nice our time together was, too.
“The reputation that you heard about and for which you pursued me was accurate. I’m changing – I’ve changed, and since I found out I had the clap I made some big changes to my behavior. As you probably did, I took the azithromycin for weeks, and finally had a clean test. I haven’t been with anybody since you.” She turned, picked up a piece of paper on her desk, and brought it to Jake; it was her last test.
Tanya got doleful, “The STD and your anger made me have some kind of catharsis. I asked myself whether this was the kind of person I wanted to be the rest of my life. I guess from what I’ve already said that my answer was that I didn’t want that. I didn’t want a lot of casual fucks; I want a deep relationship with anybody I have sex with. I realized that the sex makes the relationship better, and vice versa. Without a good relationship, the sex is just kind of empty and a quick orgasm – then things get kind of empty ... and sorrowful. I’d been looking for something for five years, and finally I started to realize what it might look like thanks to you.”
Tanya looked between Jake and Dave. Her voice picked up and sounded more upbeat, “I bought a book based on reality TV show called The Circle. Come to find out, that’s where you two men are from. I honestly didn’t know that until a few weeks ago when I started to read the book. I didn’t make the linkage between the TV show, the book, and each of you until I found reference to Dave in the book. I was surprised.”
She sighed, “Maybe it’s too late and my reputation is too soiled, but what I think I want is the Circle. You see, I am a genuine nymphomaniac. Yes, I’m hypersexual, just as Cricket, the book’s author, admitted about herself and most of the Circle members. Beyond that, I found the philosophy about the Circle and how you live genuinely refreshing. Maybe someday I could find a place like that which would accept me.”
Dave stood and walked across the room to where Tanya sat. He took her hand in his and examined it. She was puzzled.
Dave said in a somewhat humorous tone, “Ah, I guess this belongs to a human.” He pushed the flesh of her hand and arm. “Well, one thing I’ve learned about humans from personal experience is that they are not perfect. Another thing I know about the humans in the Circle is that we have learned to forgive. So, and I talk to BOTH you and Jake, why don’t you test our ability to forgive by coming with me now and talking to the Circle. Tell us what you want, and let’s see what happens. The worst that would happen is that things are just like they are right now.”
Jake and Tanya were silent, but Jake stood and said, “If we leave now everyone will be together at dinner in a half-hour. We could talk to them all at once. Come on; we have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.” He held out his hand for Tanya. She slowly stood.
Tanya said, “I’m ... I’m going to be so embarrassed.”
Dave shrugged, “And after you’ve said your peace with the Circle, see if you still feel that way.”
The trio walked back towards the Phi Theta Rho fraternity house. Dave got his motorcycle, and Jake and Tanya got in his car and followed him to the Circle.
Dinner was well underway by the time the three got there. Dave ignored the meal and focused on the two penitents. He led them to where the public address system sat ready for Ty to make his evening announcement about after-dinner dancing.
Dave picked up the microphone and looked out at the crowd of Circle members. By then, they were all watching him and the two people with him. Of course, they all knew Jake. The din of table conversation had all but stopped.
Dave keyed the microphone and said, “My friends, I have two people who would like to say a few words to you. Please give them your attention and careful consideration.”
Dave passed the microphone to Jake. Jake took a huge gulp of air.
“I’m Jake Randall. I see some faces I don’t recognize, but I am – or was – a member up until about three months ago when I really screwed up. I gave in to lust back then with the beautiful girl on my left – Tanya. We had sex, and I never bothered to see whether she had a recent STD test. As things turned out, we both ended up with the clap. We’re clean now, but it has been a rough three months on both of us and not only because of the medicines we had to take and what the medical community put us through.
“It was hardest on me because I realized I had let you all down in one of the worst ways possible. Initially, I wasn’t at all repentant. I am now. I apologize to all of you for my behavior, for my cavalier attitude back then, and for any worry or concern some of you might have had about my departure, especially whether I left anything nasty behind. I have also made an appropriate apology to Tanya for how I treated her before, during, and after our discoveries. I was not a nice or kind person.
“I know I’m probably damaged goods at this point, but I sincerely hope to come back into the Circle from the cold world and reestablish at least a few of my friendships.” He broke into a crying jag that he couldn’t quick stop. He blurted out between choking sobs, “I’m so sorry.”
Tanya moved to his side and took the microphone while she hugged him again. He moved off to the side.
Tanya spoke into the microphone, “I’m a reformed slut – a real one. I was driven by sex and not much else from when I was in high school until all of this happened three months ago. I hadn’t seen Jake since then until today – just an hour ago when he came to apologize for a few things. I am the one that should apologize a thousand times to him ... and to all of you. I did talk to Dave here a few months back after I learned that Jake had quit the Circle – leaving all of you behind to go into hiding and his period of self-discovery. I was going through the same thing. I thought I was immortal and immune to STDs.
“I happened across the TV series, the Circle. I bought the book somebody named Cricket wrote, and I’ve read it twice, now. What you have is what I want for myself. I somehow missed the idea growing up that great sex had to be accompanied by an even greater relationship. I thought if I had sexual intimacy by fucking that I’d have real intimacy. I was wrong.
“I’ve been looking for something that didn’t exist within my Sluthood. I gave up that life, in part to heal, but more to discover in myself what was wrong with every date I had that ended up in bed – until I had the worst reputation on campus.
“So, I apologized to Dave and Jake earlier. I apologize to all of you for the pain and anguish I put one of you through, and for needing to rethink how fragile the fidelity of someone might be to your vow of sexual cleanliness. I am sincere. Please.”
Anastasia
- 23.10.2020
- 12
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