An All American Teenage Sex Life II Sophomore SeasonChapter 13
- 2 years ago
- 31
- 0
“So how was, ‘just bowling,’” Mikey teased, complete with air quotes, as he landed in the bus seat next to mine.
I returned his jab with a bemused grin. “Fine, just fine.”
His eyes searched me over, sizing me up. He raised an eyebrow and leaned in.
“You got laid, didn’t you?” He accused, surprisingly quietly.
“I most certainly did not,” I said in mock indignation. “And I’ll thank you not to spread such rumors, sir.”
He burst into laughter, not sure if he’d guessed on the mark or not, but he was going to have fun with me either way.
“She’s a lovely young lady and I was a perfect gentleman for her. If I hear differently, I shall be forced to thrash you,” I teased. “Sorry, I was reading some Victorian-Era book last night. It’s sticking with me.”
“Right, right,” he laughed. “OK, what CAN you tell me?”
“We went bowling,” I teased. “It was no big deal. Just as I said.”
He was having none of it. “Come on, spill!”
“You’re my, one of my, best friends,” I hedged. “I’ll tell you more when the time is right.”
That seemed to placate him for the moment. I knew I’d have to address this at the lunch table as well, and it suddenly occurred to me that I wasn’t certain where I was supposed to sit for lunch. My table? Her table? Some neutral table to combine our crews? Were we even boyfriend and girlfriend? I wasn’t one used to school politics. I had my close friends, but I generally got along well with almost our entire freshman class, and many in the grades above and below. That kind of posturing wasn’t usually something I worried about. I got over that moment of panic, thankfully, and decided I was just going to play it cool like always.
Just then, we’d stopped at the Ray Ranch and Shelby scooted her boots past us to topple into the seat behind me.
“Morning, boys,” she drawled.
“Morning, Shelby,” we returned in unison.
“Sooo, Jakey, how was ‘just bowling,’” she quipped, adding her own air quotes. Mikey rolled with laughter.
“It was fantastic, Shelby. I’m so glad you asked,” I beamed mockingly.
“No, seriously, how did it go?” She grumped.
I looked both ways and leaned forward as if I were about to reveal man’s greatest secret. “I’m going to tell you both every single juicy detail.”
They both leaned in, the smiles evaporating from their faces as they looked at me in full attention.
“When hell freezes over...” I smiled cooly.
“Oh, you asshole,” Mikey teased.
Shelby just rolled her eyes in annoyance and huffed at me.
It was my turn to laugh. Or so I thought.
The setup was exactly as I predicted it. The freshman hallway was noisy as I walked up behind Deedee. She was resplendent in an acid washed denim skirt and green V-neck sweater. She was facing Lexie, who had just seen me walking up. Her eyebrows shot up and she nodded at Deedee.
I had to imagine all eyes were on us a the redhead turned around. A smile lit up her face. She took a step toward me before stopping. She let the smile evaporate from her face before a mock pout grew on her pretty lips.
I was about to say good morning, but I shifted gears quickly. “What’s wrong?” I reached out for her hand.
“You didn’t call me Sunday,” she said in mock indignation, turning the toe of her shoe in the floor cutely.
“Oh” I offered, slapping my forehead. “I didn’t know I was supposed to,” I grinned. “You didn’t give me your number.
“Well, you should have figured it out,” she pouted and finally took my hand. “But I’m happy to see you today.”
“I’m happy to see you too.”
“Awwwwww, how sweet,” Lexie mocked us, her emerald eyes shining.
“Well,” I said, not entirely sure what to do next. “I have to get to my locker. Algebra calls.”
“Jake,” Lexie surprised me. “Can I have a word while we walk to your locker?”
I gulped before nodding. Deedee let go of my hand expectantly and headed off to her class with a wink. Lexie willed me along once again to my locker.
I unshouldered my backpack and reached for my algebra book.
“Jacob Parker, you have Deandra in quite a good mood. She’s been singing your praises since the moment she woke up and called me Sunday morning. You’re apparently bigger and better than the rumors,” she beamed knowingly.
I looked around to see who might be listening. “I promised her I would keep things between us, and I don’t want any rumors going around,” I hissed.
Lexie giggled theatrically. “It’s too late for that, Jake. Rumors are flying. Don’t you worry though, no one knows anything we don’t want them to know.”
I gave Lexie a hard look. I didn’t trust this girl any farther than I could throw her, and even though she couldn’t have weighed much over 105 pounds, it still wasn’t far.
“OK, Lexie. I don’t know what games you’re playing, but remember that people are involved. Don’t play games with people’s feelings.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about Jacob,” she reacted defensively. “Aren’t you happy I set you up? Deandra is ecstatic that I helped set you up. You should just be happy and leave it at that.”
I narrowed my gaze at her. “You know, you’re right. I am happy. For the moment. Hopefully it stays that way.”
She gave me a tight look. “If you’re a smart boy, I don’t see how that could change.”
With that, she twirled on her heel and headed off to her class, leaving me with even more to think about.
The lunch table was just about as bad as I imagined it might be. I sat with my crew out of habit, tossing Deedee an apologetic smile before sitting down between Mike and Shelby. I still wasn’t quite sure how I was supposed to be behaving.
“Spill,” Beast demanded to laughter from the rest of the table.
I figured I better rip this bandage off quickly.
“As I told you all last week, Deandra and I went bowling on a double-date with Mitch and Lexie. We had a fantastic time and I hope she’ll agree to another date in the future.”
Beast gave me a full appraisal as I popped my first chicken nugget into my mouth.
He exhaled, not taking his eyes off me. “The posture, the gleam in the eyes. The signs are there, but something is off,” he intoned, poking his fork toward me accusingly.
“What?” I raised an eyebrow challengingly.
“You,” he paused for full effect. “No, you didn’t get laid,” he said finally, folding his arms over his chest. Heads around the table quirked to the side.
“I could have told you that, in fact I DID just tell you that.”
“BUT,” he cut me off, leaning forward once again. “You two did other things.”
“Yes, we bowled,” I quipped quickly, before the color could change in my face. “I even had high score.”
“No, I’m guessing she scored higher.” he smirked to the delighted giggles of the table.
Beast was a big dude, but well spoken and wise well beyond his years. And in truth he was older than any of us at the table, having been held back in first grade. At 16, he was the youngest of four, with three older sisters. We joked that he got so big and strong by being beaten down by the three girls. In reality, he knew so much about girls because of those three sisters.
“You’re not the best liar, but you do OK,” he grinned. “Just know that you can’t bullshit a bullshitter.”
“Oh I know that,” I laughed, grabbing another tasty nugget.
“Will you call me after practice tonight,” Shelby interrupted softly from my left.
“Sure,” I shrugged. “Remind me before the end of the day.”
Baseball practice would be held inside once again as our fields were still sloppy.
If Brian Thompsen seemed a little aggressive toward me last week, he was positively livid with me at baseball practice. We were practicing tags when he absolutely slammed his glove into my chest on a feet-first slide into third base.
I made a point to get my revenge when the roles were reversed and tags were being applied at home, where I set up camp. He was sent running full speed from third. Coach threw the ball and it was in my mitt with a good five yards between us. He wasn’t slowing down, so I took two steps in his direction, planting my feet and putting the glove in front of me as he ran full-steam into my glove and then my left shoulder.
The resulting collision put us both down fast, as his momentum had overcome my height and weight advantage. He had hit me hard, but he still ended up underneath me, his head slamming into the gym floor. I threw my mask up and my glove down and we both came at each other red-faced before coach stepped in.
“That’s not the drill, boys. What’s gotten into you, Brian? Save that for the other team!”
“Fuck you, Parker,” Brian spat at me, blood starting to spill from his nose. Coach grabbed him by the collar and dragged the huffing freshman into the locker room.
“You’re going to have to fix this, Parker,” Mitch said.
“I didn’t start this shit,” I shrugged. “And I have no idea what his problem is.”
That wasn’t entirely true. I knew it was about Deedee, but I had no idea why. Hadn’t he broke up with her a month ago?
I had other problems as I noticed my left wrist was causing me some pain, and already swelling. I figured I’d ice that at home.
“Oh, hello Jacob,” Shelby’s mom greeted me warmly from the other end of the phone line.
“I’ll get her right away. SHELBY!” I heard her yodle through her palm over the receiver.
“I got it mom,” Shebly called out. “Hi, Jakey,” she sighed into the line.
“Hey Shelbs,” I said, falling easily into our pet names. “What’s up?”
“Oh, we hadn’t really talked in a while. You know, really talked?”
“OK, what did you want to really talk about,” I teased.
“It’s not serious, but kinda serious, you know?” she said softly.
“OK, sorry to be silly. I’m all ears.”
“This thing, Jake, with Deedee and with Lexie running the show. I don’t trust it,” she said matter-of-factly. “And it’s too sudden. Maybe not too soon, but just too sudden for you to have a girlfriend.”
“I don’t have a girlfriend, I don’t think. At least not yet,” I offered.
“You go ahead and tell Deedee that, or Lexie for that matter, and see how they react. Word is all over school that you are very much taken and off the market. And there are other rumors too,” she finished coyly.
“Rumors like what?”
“Rumors like, for one, you two didn’t do anything at all on your date. Another rumor is you two boinked all night and she says you were the greatest lay ever. Another is that you both did oral and then actually did go bowling.”
“Shelbs, you’re my best friend, and I know you’ll keep all this secret. The truth is somewhere in the middle of all of all that. We didn’t have sex. And you know I would tell you for sure if we did. We did make out quite a bit and things got pretty hot and heavy. Lexie and Mitch went up to his room and they left us alone for quite a while, but not quite long enough for Deedee’s taste. She, um, had a really good time on my lap, but she never took any clothes off. She was very kind to me later and took just a bit of my clothes off, and um, she helped me with a little problem of my own with her hands. And then we really did go bowling.”
“NOT so little, according to rumors.”
“Oh let the rumor mill have it’s fun. It’s not the end of the world. Although I did promise Deedee I would not ruin her reputation. I hope she doesn’t think I started any of this.”
“I doubt it. For one, no rumor matches what you just said. The rumors are all wild and out of proportion,” she said with a pause. “If I had to guess, I’d say Lexie is behind it, and she’s doing it to help Deedee get back at Brian.”
Her words hit me in the chest nearly as hard as Brian had at practice. Shit, was I being used? Was the whole thing a ruse? Lexie was known to play games, but this would be too far even for her.
“You think they’d play me to get back at someone?”
“Oh, Jake, I don’t know, I sure hope not. I’d kick Lexie’s skinny ass from here to the river if she did!”
“I know you would,” I chuckled. “Do you suppose she knows that?”
“Maybe I’ll let her know,” Shelby threatened.
“Hold on, little britches. You’ll do better threatening her position than her health. She’s a driven one, and I’ve never seen her back down. I’m not really too worried about this, but you should know I’m going into it with my eyes open. I’m playing it cool and not falling in love too fast here.”
“I know,” she said in frustration. “You know I worry about you, and I can’t stand the thought of you getting your heart torn out again.”
“Can’t tear out what I don’t have,” I said firmly.
“You have an enormous heart, Jake. THAT is no rumor.”
“Well I prefer the OTHER enormous rumor anyway,” I deflected with a laugh.
“Boys and their toys!” She huffed and paused again. “Just promise me you’ll be careful, and don’t forget about your best friend.”
“Which one?” I teased.
“The one you trust to tell all the sex and relationship stuff to, in confidence.”
“So Beast then,” I teased again.
She grumbled into the receiver before letting out a laugh that seemed to calm her down.
“Yeah, you go ahead and tell Beast all about your new girlfriend taking care of your little problem with her hands. He’ll enjoy the hell out of that.”
I couldn’t disagree with her there, but I suddenly felt a little guilty.
“Hey, Shelbs, you busy Saturday during the day?”
“You asking me out, Casanova? You already have a girlfriend,” she giggled.
“I was not asking you out, for one. I do not officially have a girlfriend, for two. And I guess I was feeling a little guilty about not spending more time with my best friend, for three.”
“Well that’s better,” she warmed. “I’ll have to check, but what did you have in mind?”
“Oh nothing, just cleaning out a dusty old race shop all day.”
“How romantic!” She fake swooned.
“Yeah, that’s why I asked you instead of Deedee.”
She blew a loud raspberry into the phone. “I’ll see what I can do. Good night, Jake. Promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I don’t know any other way than careful, ma’am.”
“And that’s why I worry so much ... And one more thing, Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you like her? I mean, do you really like her?” she asked softly.
I didn’t have to think about it before I responded. “I really do, Shelbs. I really do...”
“Good night, Jake,” she said softly.
“Good night, little britches,” I teased again, using an old nickname her parents used to call her.
The line went dead. I hung up and wrapped my left wrist in a fresh bag of ice, hoping the swelling would go down before I needed to sleep. A couple of aspirin and a few chapters of reading later, I was out cold.
As much as I really did like Deedee, there was no prying her away from Lexie, regardless of my efforts. There was still no indication of where I was expected to sit at lunch, much less some definition of what kind of relationship we had. We talked and even touched at times, but there was no hand holding down the hallways. The week went by pleasantly enough, and even Brian had cooled his jets in baseball practice, choosing to ignore me as much as possible. By Thursday morning I was starting to sweat whether there would be a second date.
I greeted Deedee warmly at her locker as I had all week, nodding to Lexie as Deedee actually took my hands in hers and daringly pecked me on the cheek with a bright smile.
I looked into her dark blue eyes and was just about to ask her something when Lexie interrupted.
“Jake, are you busy tomorrow night?”
“I think I can be free, why? You asking me out right here in front of your best friend?” I teased.
“Deedee doubled over in laughter. Lexie was less than amused.
“Hardly. We’re going skating tomorrow night. Be ready at 6.”
And with that, she was done with me, turning to walk away in a flutter of skirt and teenage girl attitude. I wondered if I’d just gotten the better of her again, regardless of how wise that might be.
I turned my attention to an expectant and dimpled redhead beaming a thousand-watt smile at me.
“So, skating, huh? Should I be prepared to actually skate?”
“You should be prepared,” she leaned in and whispered. “For just about anything.”
My mouth dropped open and she cutely set her finger tip into my chin dimple and closed my jaw for me.
She gave me another quick peck on the lips and twirled off to class, peeking behind once to make sure I was checking her out.
I sure was...
That night I decided too much of my fate was in someone else’s hands and did something about it.
I called Deedee.
“Yes, Deandra is here. May I ask who is calling?”
“Yes Mrs. Vant Hull, this is Jacob Parker.”
“OH! Jacob Parker,” she warmed.
I heard a click on the line.
“Mom, I’ve got it!”
There was a long pause.
“Mooooom, hang up!”
“Click!”
“Urrrrgh!” Deedee grumbled. “She’s trying to snoop again.”
“She’s being a parent, Deedee, but yeah, I’d be pissed too.”
“Soooo, you finally called me,” she cooed.
“I was looking forward to tomorrow night, and we don’t get a lot of chances to talk at school.”
“You’re right,” she agreed. “I’m happy you did.”
We made small talk about classes and teachers and mild gossip. We weren’t that close yet, and casual conversation still didn’t come naturally to us.
I broke the ice.
“So Deedee, I have to ask you about something.”
“Sure,” she replied cautiously.
“Brian has been acting very strangely around me, especially at baseball practice. I don’t suppose you’d know anything about that?”
“Not really, but I heard you kicked his ass at baseball practice!” she giggled.
“That’s not exactly how it happened,” I admonished. “But I’m more curious why he’s acting that way. Do you know anything?”
“Not really,” she said coldly. “I don’t talk to him anymore.”
“Ah,” I paused, thinking about strategy. “Can I ask you something personal?”
“Ok,” she hesitated.
“Was that a bad breakup?”
“I don’t know. I guess,” she hedged.
“If you’re not comfortable telling me, you don’t have to...”
“No, you should know,” she whispered. “OK, we had been dating since the start of the school year. Once Lexie started dating Mitch, that meant we went on double dates. You know the Lexie thing, she’ll only do stuff if someone is nearby. Anyway, things were good until a couple of months ago. Brian started to pressure me more, and,”
I could hear a little anguish in her voice.
“I just wasn’t ready, for that, or for him at least,” she continued. “So he started to threaten to break up with me if I didn’t put out more. What an asshole, you know?”
“We’re boys, we’re dumb. Especially about this stuff,” I offered.
“Don’t make excuses for him,” she hissed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to come out that way,” I apologized. “I just wanted to know, I guess, that if he broke up with you, why would he be upset with me now? And I wanted to hear your side before I settled it with him.”
“He didn’t break up me, technically,” she said quietly. “He was telling me he was going to break up with me if I didn’t go all the way with him, and I told him it was over then.”
There was a long pause.
“He’s just lucky Lexie didn’t decide to ruin him,” she said ruefully.
I mulled that consequence over, then went for broke.
“Do you feel like he loved you?” I asked quietly.
She paused for a moment. “I think he, I know we liked each other a lot. I liked being with him. We never said that, the ‘L’ word.”
I pressed a little more.
“Do you think he might be mad because he’s hearing that you’re doing the things you broke up with him over?”
“Oh...” she said tightly.
“Deedee, I didn’t tell anyone anything about our date. Whatever is floating out there is not coming from me.”
“I know,” she said quietly.
“Deedee, if Lexie’s playing games with Brian, and I know he didn’t treat you well, but I’m not sure that’s fair to him, or me. Or really to you.”
“You’re right,” she said quietly. “I’ll talk to Lexie.”
“Thank you,” I brightened. “I don’t blame you. I’m not mad at you, I want you to know that.”
She was quiet on her end of the line.
“On to brighter topics,” I offered to break the tension. “I’m looking forward to tomorrow night, but I’m not a very good skater.”
“Me too,” she said warmly. “But you shouldn’t worry about that,” she teased.
I wasn’t even sure I wanted to know.
“Sorry, I have to get going, Deedee. Thank you for being honest with me. I won’t ask you any other questions about Brian. I have to deal with him on my own now.”
“Thank you too,” she added. “For everything.”
“I know we’ve only been on one date, but it’s been great. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said warmly.
“Bye, sexy,” she crooned.
Tomorrow would be a great day.
Friday flew by. The weather was unseasonably warm, and we took our first baseball practice outside. It felt great. I turned batting practice into a launching pad. I’d been a pretty good hitter on our team, but I’d never hit a home run in my life, even in Little League. But coach was floating perfect strikes and I hit my second pitch right over the fence, the first homer of the day for anyone. Cheers and applause broke out. I wasn’t done. Coach started putting a little more heat on each pitch. I let a low one go by, then fouled off anther faster pitch. The next one, I absolutely crushed, leaving no doubt it was going over the fence. Coach got into a rhythm, and I planted 4 out of the next 10 pitches on the other side of the fence, with one hitting the scoreboard in left.
Everyone was going nuts. Well not everyone, standing at third, Brian Thompsen was seething.
“What did you do in the offseason, Parker?” Coach said excitedly in wonder.
I pondered that for a second with a smile on my lips. “I spent the first half of the winter in the gym,” I said quickly, then paused. “Oh, and I ate my Wheaties.”
He had a good laugh at that. The rest of practice was fun, and everyone was swinging for the fences after my exhibition at the plate. Only Mitch was able to drive one over the fence. Everyone, save Brian, was in a pretty mirthful mood as practice came to an end. We’d be playing games soon, and we were feeling pretty good about our JV squad.
After a shower, I noticed Brian still hanging around in the gym and I approached him with some caution.
“Hey, I think we should talk.”
“Fuck you, Parker. The only talking we can do is if we take it outside,” he threatened.
I paused, giving him a once over, then I took another step forward, drawing up to my full height, an inch or more over his...
“I don’t think that would go well for you,” I said flatly.
He looked at me challengingly for a moment, before some of the fire went out in his eyes.
“Fine, what the fuck do you want?”
“Look, I just want you to know that I didn’t go after Deedee, and I didn’t mean to take her away from you.”
“I know that, dipshit. We broke up more than a month ago.”
He was getting on my nerves now, and I wondered if settling the thing with fists might have been the better course of action...
“Then I want you to know that you might be hearing rumors about us, but they aren’t likely true. I like her, and it’s nobody’s business what we do behind closed doors, but we’re not having sex and we’re probably not going to any time soon.”
“Lexie!” he swore.
“Yeah, likely Lexie,” I shrugged, as we both softened our threatening stances, a potential common rival discovered. “I understand me dating your ex could be awkward, or even painful, but let’s not make that make us enemies. We’re on the same team. I don’t hold anything against you.”
“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he said tightly. “I should have known Lexie was up to something, but I expected it right away. She waited this time.”
I nodded in understanding. An awkward silence hung in the air between us.
“Hey, promise me two things and I’ll consider this settled?”
I nodded again.
“Take care of Deedee. I messed up, and she’s really great.”
“She is,” I interrupted. “And don’t worry. I WILL take of her.”
Yeah, see that you do. And watch out for Lexie. She’s hot, but she’s a SNAKE.”
Back at home, freshly showered and ready. I was in jeans and another navy blue long-sleeved T. I was about to take a seat on the coach in the family room where I could see the driveway when I saw the Hunter van already roaring down our long driveway.
I looked at the clock, 5:40.
“Fuck,” I swore under my breath.
“Language, Jacob!”
“Oh, sorry mom!” I didn’t realize she could hear me.
That bitch Lexie was 20 minutes late last week, and 20 minutes early this week. Already playing her reindeer games.
I went to the garage door, grabbed my best spring jacket, shuffled around in the garage fridge to grab a cold Pepsi and nonchalantly strolled to the van.
“Hi Deedee,” I grinned as she opened the door from the inside, a smile lighting up her entire face. She was in her best jeans again, with a deep green V-neck sweater over a white collared button-down shirt. Her cuffs came out of the sleeves of the sweater. She sure knew what colors to wear to compliment her coppery red hair.
“What’s up, JP?” Mitch called from the passenger seat.
I gave Mitch a head nod and a high five before sitting right up against my date.
I glanced at the mirror to see Lexie evaluating me coldly before giving her a head nod. “Lexie.”
“Did you eat, Jacob?” Lexie posed.
“Nah,” I shrugged. “Well, I did have a small snack after practice before my shower. Couple of chocolate chip peanut butter sandwiches.”
“What the hell is that, Parker?” Mitch asked.
“Oh, you take two cookies and make a peanut butter sandwich out of them,” I shrugged.
“How are you not a complete fat ass eating like that?” Mitch laughed.
“I’m a growing boy,” I shrugged in defense, patting my flat stomach. Deedee put her hand on it as well, running her palm over my abs.
Lexie snorted and backed away from my house and headed back down the driveway. Deedee kept her hand in mine.
Mitch jumped back in to explain in great excitement to the ladies about how I’d nearly knocked the cover off the ball in practice today, and how I would likely hit 30 home runs this season.
I played coy and tamped down expectations like that, saying I’d hoped to hit a few, but those were practice pitches from the coach, not an opposing pitcher.
“Besides,” I said, hoping to help Mitch. “Mitch hit one today too.”
“You hit six!” he exclaimed. “I’m going to make my mom bake some chocolate chip cookies and make sure we have plenty of peanut butter.
We all had a good laugh over that. I noticed once again that we were not headed to the city for skating.
“I also had a talk with Brian after practice,” I said cautiously, trying to judge Lexie’s reaction from the mirror. Deedee stiffened a little at my side.
“You get shit worked out?” Mitch asked with his usual delicacy.
“Yeah, we seem to have an understanding. He decided he doesn’t to want to run his face into my fist anymore.”
Another round of laughter seemed to calm the tension in the van.
“Apparently, he had heard some rumors about what Deedee and I have been up to, and it got under his skin.’
I watched Lexie’s eyes through the rearview mirror, but to her credit, she kept her poker face in tact.
“So, Lexie, where we headed this time?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, Parker?” she laughed with no mirth. “We’re going to grab a bite at The Corner, then we’re going to a senior kegger.”
Her eyes were on the rearview mirror to watch my reaction. I simply shrugged and leaned into Deedee.
“Whatever my lady wants to do tonight is what I want to do tonight,” I smiled.
Lexie pretended to shove a finger down her throat. “Gag!”
Deedee was all smiles at the closest term I’d used to possession of my date on, well, only our second date.
The Corner was sort of a diner/arcade/ice cream parlor in our small town, and it could be quite a bumpin’ little joint on a Friday night. It was all done up in 50’s decor, and was still popular with the teen set, although I would guess well before we arrived that we’d be the youngest ones there, perhaps the only freshmen.
We arrived and I was not wrong. We grabbed an open booth and I recognized a lot of upperclassmen. Medium loud speakers were playing modern top 40 music. Poison’s ‘Unskinny Bop’ was playing. I quickly recognized Allison Grimes as she brought menus to our table. She was friends with both Lexie and Deedee, a football and basketball cheerleader. She was a pretty, brown-eyed sandy blonde, taller than Deedee, with a thin waist and a flatter chest. She was in a poodle skirt, with a white button down blouse. This was the work uniform, and she looked like an extra from “Grease.” Not bad at all.
A strikeout, two walks, a single and a double. That’s how I did on a Friday night in front of a big home crowd. We played before the varsity game due to the rainout Tuesday. Mitch pitched a full game, but the game actually ended in the 6th at 12-0 on the mercy rule. Riverton was not good at baseball. Mitch had a 3-run homer in the first. There were at least two scouts at the game to watch his brother, but there was no doubt he wanted to put on a good show as well. He certainly did. I...
TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 1991 “I’m your dream, make you real I’m your eyes when you must steal I’m your pain when you can’t feel Sad but true” Waking up to one of the crunchiest guitar riffs of all time is not a bad way to start your day. I slapped the snooze bar and realized my palm was still pretty sore from that punt block. I was starting to wonder if the punter’s foot had connected with my hand. I had a bit of a bruise forming right in the center of my palm. Well, no matter. I couldn’t...
FRIDAY, JULY 6, 1990 Under of the guise of visiting Mikey, I took the three-mile bicycle ride to town on a sunny Friday afternoon. I set my bike in a rack at the park and waited at the swings, just as we’d agreed. The park was mostly empty, with some kids playing basketball some distance away. The pool would open soon. Not two minutes later, there she was, sauntering up to me from her open garage door. As usual, Melody looked fantastic in flip flops, short shorts and a tank top. She topped...
SUNDAY, MAY 26, 1991 My Sundays are my own. Well, my Sundays are supposed to be my own. Oh well. My family actually skipped church. Mom and dad were hosting their annual Memorial Day party the next day. I had to do some cleaning up around the yard, and set up the volleyball poles and net for the party. At lunch, I got to catch some of the Indy 500 on TV. I missed the end of the race, but Rick Mears won his third Borg-Warner Trophy. Dad had plans for me in the afternoon. The weather had...
FRIDAY, MAY 31, 1991 Just like the school year, the summer finds a pattern. Weekends aren’t much different than weekdays, other than the rhythm of the activities. Tuesday means a baseball game. Baseball practice Wednesday and Thursday. Tutoring Tuesday through Thursday. Finding a way to get to the varsity baseball games Friday nights. Oh, and a Saturday at the race shop. The calendar says spring, but the weather and the school year say it’s summer. Summer goes from Memorial Day to Labor Day...
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 1990 I dreaded going to school Tuesday even more than I had Monday. At breakfast, mom was trying to fish for more information on what was going on between Mel and me. I wasn’t biting today. No way I would ever want mom to hear a word of the rumor going around, at least if it was just a rumor. On the bus, I had to let Mikey in on it. He hadn’t heard, which was a good sign. It took little to convince him that I didn’t know anything about it, but I was going to find out...
I walked into the freshman hallway of the school and made my way to my intended target. She was, again, talking to Lexie and facing away from me. She was filling out a set of acid washed jeans rather nicely, a pink sweater over another button down long-sleeve. This time Lexie didn’t raise her eyebrows as I approached. “Parker,” Lexie announced, suddenly surprising Deedee. “You’ll be a dear be sure to bring your home jersey for Deedee to wear tomorrow morning? I stared blankly for a moment,...
SATURDAY, JUNE 1, 1991 Time was running out before I would turn 15. Sure, it was more than a month away, but we had a lot of work to do to get the racecar ready to go. I was up early Saturday. Mom cooked a fantastic breakfast, as she’d left some bread out the night before to get crusty, then made her signature french toast with it. It’s a hell of a way to start your day, full load of sugar and all. Josh and I loaded up, and mom drove us to grandpa’s shop. Today would be a little different,...
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 1991 “Jake, I need you to wake up.” “Wha?” “Jake, it’s time to wake up.” “Huh?” I complained through bleary eyes, then suddenly gasped and sat straight up in the bed in a panic. Dad took a half step back, after shaking me on the shoulder. Was last night a dream? Was the whole day a dream? “What day is it?” I asked Dad desperately. He chuckled. “It’s Saturday morning, son.” My eyes started to get used to the harsh light of the lamp on my nightstand and I caught...
While it was true that Sundays were my own, for the most part, my Saturdays belonged to someone else. Since the racecar was in pieces and not back from the body shop, I belonged to dad for the day. Grandpa Parker was running the disc. Dad was planting, but he still had plans for me. “I’m going to have you field cultivate about 50 acres of last year’s sorghum,” dad said as he attached the old 4440 to the implement he was talking about. “Start with the end rows, then just try not to miss...
FRIDAY, MAY 31, 1991 More punctual than ever, Lexie pulled the Hunter minivan down our long driveway. As the van pulled closer, I noticed Mitch was not in his usual place in the passenger bucket seat. Mandy Prentice was in his place. This was odd, but nothing was ever ordinary when Lexie was involved. As the van pulled up and I hopped in, I noticed all three girls were rocking their sunglasses. Mandy had identical aviators to both Lexie and my gorgeous girlfriend. “Ladies,” I smiled as I...
Saturday rolled around quickly, and I was thrilled to head to my grandpa’s shop with mom in the driver seat and little Josh strapped in the back. I had asked mom to let me drive, holding up my learner’s permit, but she was hesitant to let me drive with Josh in the car. “That’s some confidence you have in your future race car driver,” I grumped. “Jacob, I only have two of you. I don’t like taking chances with you both in the car.” “Alright,” I acquiesced, deciding we’d get to the shop...
SUNDAY, July 7, 1991 I saw some of Sunday before I ever got a chance to sleep. Between the extra adrenaline of racing for the first time, and a few Mountain Dews drank too late in the night, I was wired for sound. Before we finally bid goodbye to everyone at the track and brought the car back to the shop, I was directed to stop at the pit gate to pick up my winnings for the night. I was handed an envelope with $125 in it. I had finished 12th that night, the first of my racing career. I...
SATURDAY, JULY 13, 1991 ‘Breathe. Remember to breathe, moron.’ By mutual agreement, we decided I’d opt to go to the back of the heat race again. I needed the laps of experience before starting up front. That didn’t stop me from ripping off some fast laps in hot laps. I actually came up on a slower car in front of me, and had to back down or figure out a way to pass him on this narrow, tacky surface. I let him get a lead on me again, then tried some different lines, letting the car drift up...
FRIDAY, JULY 19, 1991 Edited by WRC264 I rumbled into Mandy’s driveway at the appointed time. This time she did let me get to the door and I did have a short and awkward talk with her parents, who were very nice. I knew them from years of being around their daughter. We’d been classmates many school years. Soon we were off to The Corner for supper and shakes, or a shake, I should say. We shared a big one. I had an extra critical eye for Allison as she served us, knowing the advice Woody...
MONDAY, AUGUST 19, 1991 “Here we go around, ‘round, ‘round She givin’ me the run around, ‘round, ‘round, ‘round” I was up early with Van Halen, but shut my clock radio off immediately. Today would be the first day of football practice. I’d been doing this since 7th grade, but something felt very different for my sophomore year. I was taller, leaner and looking pretty ripped. I hadn’t done quite as much farm work that summer, but I was in the gym or at the running track four days a week,...
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 8, 1991 Little drops of perspiration gathered in the lovely valley of her spine where her back joined the round globes of her sexy little ass. She sighed in pleasure as she slowly ground her hips back and forth atop me, my throbbing cock trapped deep inside her hot, wet folds. I admired the two little dimples at the base of her lower back, and slid my hands over her hips, placing a thumb pad over both of those indentations in her nearly-flawless skin. Her skin was hot to...
TUESDAY, JULY 16, 1991 “I’m learnin’ to fly ... But I ain’t got wings...” The haunting tone of Tom Petty woke me from a fitful slumber. I knew who Tom Petty was, but I didn’t really consider him a rocker until this latest album. I let the whole song play before shutting my alarm off, just as the DJ started talking about a new album coming from Metallica. I skipped the shower and put my workout clothes on. That meant a muscle shirt and cloth shorts. I picked Mikey up at his house just...
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 4, 1991 Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” is a hell of a way to wake up in the morning. I slapped the snooze button on my clock radio, almost instantly regretting it. Of course, that radio was hardly a stereo, so the sound quality suffered immensely. I loved the song, but it was getting constant radio play in early September. Of course, I had a bootleg copy of the cassette tape so I knew there were many more songs on the album that were just as good. I became more aware of my...
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1990 HOMECOMING A new week had made life all good again. We played a freshman football game Monday afternoon. I dominated at defensive end with a pair of sacks and four solo tackles. I made a nice catch at tight end for twelve yards. We won 35-6. It was our first Homecoming Week, and my friends and I were learning the traditions. Monday had been White and Blue day. We dressed accordingly. Tuesday was 70s Day, and I raided dad’s closet for a wildly-printed polyester...
FRIDAY, JUNE 7, 1991 I did something I had never done for a girl before. I wrote her some little notes. Sappy? Silly? Romantic? Maybe a little of all of the above, but Deedee was going to be gone for more than two weeks with little chance for contact, and I wanted to stay connected to her. She was a very good girlfriend, and I wanted to keep her that way. The idea was simple. I grabbed a stack of 17 Post-It notes. On the first note, I wrote: “For Deedee every day. Please peel off one note...
FRIDAY, JULY 5, 1991 “Jake, wake up. Do you have plans this morning?” “Wha?” Roused from rather pleasant dreams of pretty redheads and curvy raven-haired beauties, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes to consider the source of this rude awakening. “Dad?” “Jake, wake up!” I shook my head groggily, wondering what strenuous farm chore awaited me outside. “Yeah?” “Any plans this morning?” I guess not.” “Good,” dad grinned. “Someone from the phone company will be here sometime between now and...
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 20, 1991 I woke up long before my alarm clock was set to go off, feeling sick to my stomach. The anguish was physical, not just emotional. The events from the night before played out in my head while I considered what to do. I hadn’t missed a school day for being sick in years. And if I did call in sick, I couldn’t participate in any sport or activity that day. That meant missing the Homecoming game and the dance. The idea didn’t really seem so bad at first, but a larger...
The Adventures of American-man: Dreamworld By Paul G Jutras Chapter One: Doorway of Doom October 31, 3086, a historical team uncovered a weird chest with pictures carved all over the outside. Each was dressed in hiking boots, knee-high socks, too tight shorts, sleeveless shirts and pit helmets. As one of them broke open the chest a mist rose out and formed into a skull headed demon. Rays shot from it's eye socks, transforming the girls' skin to plastic. As they fell over, the...
South American Cock TormentAndy Douglas was eighteen even though he only looked much younger. Five seven, he had a nice balance of slim waist, good shoulders and a neat, tight butt. Plenty of sport and exercise in the open air had given him a great tan and a body with good muscular definition including a modest six-pack. The sun had also bleached his shock of naturally blonde hair. Coupled with pale blue eyes and a ready smile he looked good and attractive?and he knew it.He liked girls, but...
You know, when you read "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" with a modern understanding of science, as a person who understands chemistry, biology, and psychology, the rational part of your mind will tell you it's not possible. That it makes for a fun story, but you could not drink a potion and transform either physically or mentally like the title character of that book. You can't change yourself like that. But the irrational part, oh it wishes you could. It looks at...
America hosts dozens of agents, who work secretly exclusively for me. Although all-American applicants think they are for porn.America's agencies are in all major cities, which house hot tasty teen or twen beautiful brides to be. We will mention all towns.Professor Poet-PETER erotic experiments interestingly include his agencies world wide. Together a dozen of dozens capitals.Professor Poet-PETER prayed his dear great granddaughter Princess Petra to go the other side of the 'big drink', to...
America hosts dozens of agents, who work secretly exclusively for me. Although all-American applicants think they are for porn.America's agencies are in all major cities, which house hot tasty teen or twen beautiful brides to be. We will mention all towns.Professor Poet-PETER erotic experiments interestingly include his agencies world wide. Together a dozen of dozens capitals.Professor Poet-PETER prayed his dear great granddaughter Princess Petra to go the other side of the 'big drink', to...
“The fuck was that this morning in the hallway?” Mike boomed, setting his lunch tray down to my right. “QUIET!” I seethed. “Nothing. I don’t know.” “THAT was not nothing,” Shelby added quickly from my left. I dropped my spoon back into my chili and closed my eyes. Oh yes, chili, maybe my favorite school lunch. And it seemed to taste better than usual today. Then again, maybe everything had started to taste better lately. “Look, I’m as confused as anyone. I’ve known Alexis since what,...
Deedee was holding my hand tightly and giving me doe eyes as we were once again on the back roads headed to my first high school party. “No one has ever done that for me,” Deedee whispered. “It was amazing,” she husked. “Done what, exactly?” I teased in a half-whisper. She bit her lip and shoved me lightly. “You know what!” she whispered with laughing eyes. “Oh,” I said in mock recognition, then leaned to whisper in her ear, my voice deepening. “Do you mean the part where I ran my tongue...
The rest of the week went very well, and I was in high spirits. Every other lunch period was spent either with my crew or my new girlfriend, and each side seemed to appreciate my company more. Well, other than Morgan, who was still a bitch to me. Two new things happened during the week, though. Beast asked if I’d like to go cruising with Tree and him at some point over the weekend. I had to tell him Friday was out, as I was going to the game and the opening night of races came Saturday...
I was up and at it early again Saturday morning with rather pleasant thoughts from the night before. Mom hustled me to grandpa’s shop and I went to it. Grandpa had clearly made more progress on the pit cart, with some metal cabinet doors now in place, along with a thin steel plate top. Work benches were getting cleared off and this was starting to look like a proper race shop again. Grandpa was out to help about an hour after I arrived. He ambled into the shop with a big thermos of coffee...
Deedee and I had surprises for each other Tuesday morning. I walked up to her locker just before classes started and handed her a freshly pressed gray jersey. She eagerly took it and opened her locker to hand me my white jersey. I made a show of pressing it to my nose. “How does it still smell like you?” “A girl has to have her secrets,” Deedee giggled, tapped my chin dimple and gave me a peck on the cheek before spinning off to the girl’s room to change into my jersey. “Get a room!” Mike...
We walked back inside and I quickly discovered my Sunday wasn’t over. Beast was on the line. “Parker, you wanna shoot hoops?” “Yeah, sounds good. We need a fourth?” “I supposed, who you got in mind?” “Mikey?” “Yeah, I guess I can kick his ass as easy as yours,” Beast chuckled. “I’ll call him.” “I’ll pick you both up and we’ll go to Tree’s.” “Later.” I asked mom and dad if I could go shoot hoops for the afternoon. “Be home for supper.” I could hardly think about supper. I was still...
TUESDAY, JUNE 4, 1991 I saw her for the first time on a rainy Tuesday morning. I had never seen anything like her before. But I’m getting way ahead of myself. Let’s skip back to earlier in the morning. Dad had ordered a few items for the Mustang. In particular, a few interior items he wanted fixed. He bought a headliner, new carpet and new vinyl for the both front seats. With installation, this was going to put him back nearly $400. But where to get the work done? Dad had called a brand...
TUESDAY DECEMBER 25, 1990, CHRISTMAS DAY I hadn’t seen Mel since Friday, and while I did miss her, it was probably good for my soul. Every moment seemed tumultuous, and drama buzzed around her like bees to flowers. We did everything at full throttle, whether it was making love or just not getting along. A few days of quiet time around my family was welcomed. Our family had our traditional Christmas Eve meal of oyster soup and appetizers like ham-wrapped pickles with pineapple cream cheese,...
FRIDAY, JUNE 28, 1991 After the playoff loss and public dumping, we skipped any kind of celebratory meal and headed home. I lugged my heavy bag of baseball gear into the house for the final time of the season. I didn’t even have time to strip and get my uniform into a soak before the phone rang. A tiny part of me wondered if Deedee had changed her mind. “Hello?” “Why didn’t you call me?” The feminine voice at the other end of the line was insistent and accusatory all at once. “I just...
SUNDAY, JUNE 30, 1991 I leaned forward with my head in my hands, rubbing my temples. Shelby pulled some of the blanket around her shivering form. It was a warm day, but a body soaked in sweat would get chilly in the breeze. Her horses, Destiny and Doc, munched grass lazily, paying us little heed. “Why not?” I asked the prairie scene in front of me, not wanting to look her in the eye. Shelby sighed and put her hand on my shoulder. “I might have done a bad thing today,” she sighed. “I did...
JULY 4, 1991 “Happy birthday, Jake.” It was a pleasant way to wake up. No alarm had been set. I was allowed to sleep in a bit. It was mom who woke me up in a gentle way at around 9:30. But it wasn’t her words that woke me up. It was the smell of bacon in the oven. I rolled out of bed and felt the sharp sting in my lower half. ‘Fucking leg day!’ I swore to myself. We’d spent the early part of Tuesday morning on the track, running short bursts of sprints on up to a full mile run. Then...
SATURDAY, JULY 6, 1991 ‘Breathe, just remember to breathe.’ The heat, the humidity. Oppressive. Harsh lights shining down on me. Mercifully, my Nomex head sock is soaking up the sweat from my head, keeping the stinging drips out of my eyes. My helmet feels a little suspiciously loose on my head, but the chinstrap is tight. All is almost silent here in the cockpit. I flip my visor up as my breathing is creating a little fog under the lense, with more than two dozen tear offs piled on...
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 1991 “I’m out in the cold (out in the cold) Body and soul (out in the cold) There’s nowhere to go (out in the cold) I’m out in the cold (out in the cold)” Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers had it about right. I was out in the cold. Of course, I still slapped the snooze button and shut him up anyway. I had a riot of feelings to deal with. Two rejections, were weighing heavily on my mind. Sure, I had sort of patched things up with Shelby. At the same time, we were...
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 9, 1991 “What’s on your mind,” I asked as I closed my car door carefully. Jen seemed to stiffen and forced herself to turn towards me in her seat so that she couldn’t avoid looking at me. “What I said about the dance wasn’t entirely true.” “So you DO want to go to the dance?” I said with a lopsided grin. “I don’t know,” she said softly. “Let me finish.” “OK,” I replied, letting her continue. “I have gone to a dance before. It was, it was horrible.” “Go on,” I...
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 1991 “And homegrown and down-home, that makes one Cookin’ up that old time, long lost recipe for me, woh It’s gettin’ hard to find Guess it ain’t hip enough now You take an average guy, he can’t identify, uh And there’s a short supply of her fine, fine stuff Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on some of that Shake it up, bake it up nice, uh Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on all that I so love my baby’s poundcake.” Van Halen was so much better with Sammy...
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 15, 1991 I woke with excitement Sunday morning. No alarm set, just the refreshing feeling of sleeping in after being worked hard for a few days. Well, that and the fact that I would be shooting hoops with a tall, gorgeous blond that day. The tantalizing aroma of a beef roast in the crock pot was what got me awake. I followed my nose out to the kitchen to see it bubbling away on the counter top. The parents had, as usual, let me have my Sunday while they headed to church...
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 27, 1991 Seven days of kisses and bliss. Jen got her kiss every day for a seventh day. Every time I saw her or thought about her, the butterflies were there. We held hands in the hallways and word around school was that we were the hot couple. The upperclassmen had accepted and welcomed me with open arms. If I’d been placed on the varsity team at the start of the season, I’d have likely faced some hazing. As it was, saving the big game and showing them I belonged put...
Harold Spencer Eversly was on vacation in Acapulco with his Mom. He was sixteen but looked younger. His father had died suddenly when he was only eight leaving his Ma a very rich woman. She was very possessive and Harold was something of a mother’s boy. They traveled around a lot, all over the world. Harold had been to a lot of different schools but not learned much. He figured he didn’t have to with the money coming to him from a Trust when he was 25. Until then he was quite...
American-Man At War By Paul G. Jutras "1,2, 3, 4...." Christine said as she stood in gold three inch pumps and a backless evening gown with spaghetti straps. With the clicking of drumsticks the band prepared to join in. Soto began to played the guitar in his usual leather jacket, pants and boots and red tee shirt. Mark played the drums, Luke the keyboard in their yellow and red striped coveralls, and Starshine the tambourine in her purple blouse, leopard print mini skirt...
Ida Hoe was waiting nervously back stage as her arch rival, Holly Keyhole, performed on stage riding Hoss Bigg cowgirl style on a trampoline. She could hear the audience shouting in delight. The raucous cheers were almost deafening.Ida was horrified that Holly might give an unsurmountable performance. Ida barely trailed her for first place in this grand finale episode of Miss American Pornstar. Winning the title of the first Miss American Pornstar would not only make her the newest rage in the...
Group SexNew Job for American-Man By Paul G Jutras Since American-Man's appearance the crime rate in Federation city had dropped way down. Too bad the number band of gigs his rock band had were also way down. Needing the extra pay, it was in his American-Man form that he became a bag man at a Federation City super market. The job was easy and American-man changed his costume with the bluish green shirt, black slacks and sneakers of the market. When he eyed a shoplifter trying to head out...
Okay, here goes nothing. African-American guys like myself have a certain image in the eyes of the world. We’re thought of as tougher, meaner and more athletic than the average guy. Also, people seem to think we gravitate toward either athletic pursuits or criminal endeavors, and nothing in between. Neither is exactly true for most Black men living in the United States of America. Just to prove to you how untrue these stereotypes are, take me for example. My name is Arnold Thompson. And I’m a...
“We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered the line from the Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad-Gita; Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and to impress him, takes on his multi-armed form and says, ‘Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.’ I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.” ― J. Robert Oppenheimer It seems sort of strange looking back on the unfolding events of...
-We learned in Part One of this story that I was a sixteen year-old virgin boy named James, who everyone called Jimmy, with a very thick, nine-inch-long cock. My neighbor Norm was forty-two at the time. His wife Lindsey was forty-one and their son Todd was eighteen and away at college.I went with Norm to open his lake cabin for the summer. We were skinny dipping on an unusually warm day for spring in Wisconsin and he convinced me that we should masturbate one another on the boat. That evening...
MILFTo begin, may I must make something perfectly clear. I’m virgin by my haughty cousin’s definition -- he says we may do it now because it is very assuered our families will marry us together -- but that doesn’t mean I have never made love. My story begins at St. Mary’s, an elite English-medium secondary school for girls. St. Mary’s has a Christian headmistress and several Christian faculty, but few of the students are of that faith. Christians know academics better than do mullahs and holy men....
The unlucky American. ? A reader of some of my other stories challenged me to write one about a terrified boy enslaved by a girl. This is the outcome of my efforts. ? Note: Tim’s private thoughts are marked by single inverted commas: ‘Shit’; direct speech by double: "Yes, Mistress". ? Part one. ? "I'm an American citizen, for chrissake. It's your fucking duty to defend me!" I shouted angrily at the embassy's legal secretary. ? "You are and I have". She looked calmly back. ? "But I was...
American Girl in Bangkok By Tiffany Parker The following story is a work of fiction and is copyright property of the author. Please don't repost it without permission. But most importantly, I hope you enjoy reading it. Chapter 1 Kaylee impatiently bided time while sitting in the middle seat in coach on the long trans-pacific flight. She was excited about her trip to Bangkok that would complete her journey and provide her the gender affirmation surgery she desperately...
Promises and Secrets: A Teenage Transsexual By Maria Ski Things changed for me after I was discovered trying on my sisters clothes. My mother had caught me. But there was no anger, no disgust, just a warm understanding smile and the love of a mother. From that day of being discovered, and after telling my sisters things seemed to change. Every weekend I became Maria. With a wardrobe of girls clothes of my own which I either bought myself or had bought for me. One thing led to...
Author's Note; This story is a dedication to Tom Petty. Song meaning to me are very subjective. I can take someone different out of song than someone else. I can even take something different out of a song depending on my mood. So with saying that this story is how I filled in the blanks of this great song. Debra Webster was an American girl who was raised on her mom and dad's promises.These promises were being able to be whatever she wanted to be in life, and their daughter would...
Alright, I can finally admit it to myself. I am a Muslim. I used to be one of those people who felt a strong dislike of Muslims, until I fell in love with one. It’s funny how these things happen, huh? My name is Solomon Kingsley Henderson, although many of my friends have taken to calling me ‘King Suleiman’ in recent times. It’s my Muslim name, though it’s not on my passport or anything. My wife Khadija Abdullah certainly likes it. She’s a lovely lady of Somali descent who saved my life back in...