The Riverside Girl Part 1
- 3 years ago
- 23
- 0
I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied
- J.M.
It’s funny how the smallest thing can make such a big difference in your outlook on life. When you least expect it, in a most unlikely way, and in the oddest of places, something appears that turns your view of the world inside out. Sometimes it can show you what really is important, dragging things out from some subconscious cave where they had retreated to hide, seemingly forever. Usually, it happens right when you need it most, as long as you pay attention.
The car ride up to the campground on Friday afternoon was quiet, as expected. Despite having to sit next to Lara for the duration, it was surprisingly tolerable. We each relied on our Walkman headphones to maintain the invisible wall between us and pass the hours.
When we arrived at the campsite, my parents’ friends, Jamie and Reese, were already setting up their camper. After greetings went around, I helped unload our gear, keeping quiet and to myself. My moms were amiably catching up on life with their old friends, so it was easy to while away the time with tent poles and tarp ropes.
I took a walk to the Ausable River that ran past the campground. Seeing the water flitting over rocks and a deep pool full of trout brought back some real emotions. For once, I didn’t try to suppress them. I hadn’t fished in a long while. Since Montauk almost one year ago, I suddenly realized with surprise. Autumn in the Catskills was prime fly-fishing time. In previous years, several fishing trips in the season were normal. Somehow, I hadn’t managed to go even once in the past year.
I was busy writing Julie in the fall, I thought with a pang of sadness. It seemed like such a long time ago. I wasn’t even the same person anymore. The naïve hope of keeping up my relationship with her over the long months seemed so silly now. I’d wasted the entirety of my first year of high school fawning after, worrying about, and finally regretting my involvement with Julie. I’d thrown away time I could have spent wading in mountain streams angling for fish, to say nothing of everything else I’d missed out on or screwed up.
I took a deep breath, finding the moist scent of the river strangely invigorating. It was as if I hadn’t smelled a single aroma in months. All around me, birds announced their availability, calling out over the buzzing background of insects. A flotilla of water-skimmers played Ring-around-the-Rosie in a nearby eddy. It looked like fun, so I took my shoes off and stepped into the river to join them. The water was cold, still carrying to the last echoes of snowmelt. Chilly, yes, and yet thawing decidedly toward summer.
Lara and I were sleeping in the same tent. It wasn’t an arrangement either of us liked, but that’s the way it was. Lara said she would rather sleep in the car, but my parents threatened to lock her out of it. I guess they hoped that sticking us together might create some communication between us. I thought it was unlikely, and as we lay in our sleeping bags that first night, Lara was as distant as ever. Oddly, I felt like reaching out to her again. But when I mentioned how cool the river looked, she just grunted in reply. I doubted that she would want to speak to me this weekend, so I didn’t press her further.
I spent the next day fishing and reading. Around four, I grabbed my tackle and headed up the road to a section of the river where the water crossed under a bridge. I was tying on a spinner when I heard car tires crushing the gravel of the shoulder. Hopefully it wasn’t competition for my fishing spot.
“Afternoon, son!”
I turned around to find a wildlife officer approaching me. He sported a set of reflective hunting glasses, so his attitude was unreadable.
“Good afternoon,” I greeted. I went back to tying the knot I was working on.
The man surveyed the area, perhaps wishing he was angling instead of on duty. “Any luck yet?”
“No, I just got here a few minutes ago. Haven’t even cast in.”
“This is a good hole, I tell you,” he said, gesturing with his head.
“Hope so.”
“There’s a bit of a deep spot at the tail end of those riffles there,” he said, indicating. “Sometimes there’s a nice trout waiting in there.”
“Thanks, I’ll give it a shot.”
“No problem. Can I see your fishing license?” he asked. “Just a routine check, you know,” he added casually.
Fishing license? Oops! I’d completely forgotten to buy one that morning. “Um, yeah, let me look,” I said evenly.
I wasn’t too worried; he’d probably give me a warning and let me off, since I was just a teenager. All I had to do was pretend I didn’t know any better and act stupid. I started opening the different compartments of my tackle box and made a show of searching, despite knowing there was nothing to find. When I flipped open the top flap of the box, he called out with satisfaction.
“There it is!”
Indeed, there was a license there! For a second I wondered if I’d bought one earlier in the season and somehow forgotten about it. But no, this one was partly crumpled up, clearly something old. Last year’s license and now invalid, I realized as I uncrinkled the paper. The stamp on the front said ‘1989’ in a large font. There was no way to pass it off as this year’s.
Memories suddenly flooded through me. I remembered stuffing the license into that part of the tackle box on the day that extraordinarily fascinating girl had returned it to me. The same day she’d walked away. The very last day I saw her.
The pier girl...
“Can I take a look at it?” the ranger asked, perhaps a bit impatiently.
I realized I was still clutching the paper in my hand. Act dumb!
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I held up the license, remaining seated and staring at the ground as he scrutinized it. A warm feeling was coursing through my body as I remembered those summer days catching fish with the pier girl. Well, mostly she caught the fish while I acted foolishly. I could almost sense her presence again, something forgotten and yet timelessly familiar.
“Do you have a current license?” the officer asked, jolting me away from the railing of the pier in Montauk and back to the dirt riverbank.
“What?” I replied innocently, faking a blank expression.
“I’m afraid this license has expired. It was for last...”
I have no idea what he said next. I sat dumbfounded for what must have been a full minute, gaping in shock at the paper that the man was holding as he presumably expounded on the rules of the river.
“Son, are you all right?”
“What?” I murmured in a trance.
“I asked if you’re all right. You look like you saw a ghost.”
The ranger was eyeing me suspiciously now, so I made an effort to snap out of it before he got the wrong idea. I jumped to my feet, regaining my senses a little.
“I’m sorry, I just ... I saw something I didn’t expect on the back of the license,” I said hurriedly. As I moved next to him, I felt incredibly light, like I was dreaming. He flipped the paper over and turned it in the afternoon light until he could make out what was there. In faded but legible pencil lettering, something was written on the back.
Matt, I really had fun fishing and hanging out with you. I hope we can do it again. Call me! —Heather Martin
There was a heart (a heart!) drawn after her name and a phone number printed below. The gray pencil lead seemed to shimmer in the tree-filtered light, almost as if it wasn’t really there. A ghost of a memory...
“Girlfriend?” the officer asked.
“Oh, no, no,” I said slowly. “Just someone I knew a while ago, and ... well, it’s a long story.” My voice must have betrayed my feelings, because he just grinned.
“Are you from Ohio?” he suddenly asked, confusion touching his voice. He turned over my license to examine it again, presumably checking my address.
I wondered what he meant. “No, New York, why?”
“This looks like an Ohio number,” he explained, flipping the paper over again and pointing to the number Heather had written.
“Ohio?” I echoed, completely confused. “I think it’s Montauk.”
“I don’t know, son. I have some family in Cleveland, and I’m pretty sure their number is area code two-one-six.”
I studied the paper closely. That was clearly the area code Heather had written, but the man had to be mistaken. “I don’t know. This girl lives in Montauk.”
The officer just shrugged as he handed the paper back to me. “Do you have a current license then?” he asked.
“I’m afraid I don’t,” I admitted. “I don’t think I bought one this year yet. Sorry.”
“Well, I don’t want to cut into your afternoon, but you really need a license before I can let you fish.”
“Yes, sir. I’ll go get one right now. I’m really sorry.”
“I appreciate it, son,” he said, clapping me on the shoulder. “Good luck on the river.” He turned and walked to his car. As he opened the door he called out to me. “Your friend, does she like to fish?”
“She loves to.”
“Well, I found my wife by a river, eighteen years ago. It was my best catch, ever!” he said with a chuckle.
I just nodded and smiled. He nodded back smartly, and then got into his car and drove off.
Heather. Heather Martin.
I sat in the dirt for a good fifteen minutes, reading and rereading the writing on the license. How could I have missed it? Idiot! Obviously I hadn’t seen the back of the paper when I stuffed it in my tackle box that summer morning last July. As I thought about her note, I realized the ranger had been right. The area code was not the one for Montauk, as I knew from Julie’s number. It didn’t make sense at first, but then it hit me: Heather must have wanted me to phone her at her relatives’ house. She’d mentioned going to Pennsylvania, and maybe she even said Ohio.
Feelings of elation were mixed with thoughts of what could have been. She must think I’m an ass for not calling! How long had she waited to hear from me, before... Oh god... My heart sank, each time I imagined her waiting for my call, day after day, eventually thinking that I didn’t wanted to talk to her after all.
Why hadn’t I expected this from her and looked at the license that day? I was so stupid! Then again, she was into playing games, so it was kind of her fault. She could’ve just told me her name and asked me to call her, like any reasonable person would’ve done.
I felt like jumping around in celebration, but also like banging my head against a rock. I was a little surprised at my reactions, too. Why was I so happy to know her name? A little mystery solved, perhaps, but no ... It was way more than that.
Yes, the fact that she’d written this note meant that she enjoyed her time with me! All those insecurities about whether she’d ditched me were completely unfounded. If I’d just looked at the paper that day, how would everything have turned out? Would I have gotten together with Julie? Would I have had to endure such heartbreak? Would my relationship with Lara be such a mess? Would my life be so barren and desolate?
Just by missing one little sign.
I didn’t know what to do. An emotional floodgate had been opened. Along with the nostalgia, elation, and frustration that came with seeing Heather’s note, all the other emotions I’d been holding back for months also reared up. Those checks and balances that I’d so carefully built up to suppress unwanted feelings were now swept away, like a toothpick pier by a raging sea. I was left flailing vaguely at the torrent flowing through me.
I hurried back to camp, driven by an overwhelming need to talk to Lara. I was suddenly aware of exactly how much I missed her friendship. Our car wasn’t there when I returned, so I endured a restless hour moving from chair to hammock to tent and back again, jittery, wondering how I would face my sister and my parents given the months I’d spent pushing them away.
Finally I saw our car approaching, silent as it rolled over the layer of pine needles that covered the camp road. I was nervous as hell so I grabbed my book and pretended to read. My parents and their friends got out and started unloading a few bags of food from the trunk. Apparently they’d gone into town to buy some supplies for dinner. Sarah asked me to help as they started making preparations.
“Where’s Lara?” I was unable to suppress the urgency in my voice.
“Is everything all right?” she asked, concern on her face.
“Yeah, it’s fine. I just need to talk to her.”
She looked at me for a long moment. Her expression was unreadable.
“I don’t know where she is. She stayed here while we were gone. She’s probably down by the river or over at the game room.”
“Okay, thanks,” I said, as I started off toward the campground store.
“Matt, hold on. What’s going on?” she called after me.
“I need to talk to Lara,” I repeated over my shoulder.
“We’re eating in a half hour, so make sure you’re back by then!”
I waved a hand in acknowledgement and picked up my pace to a run. When I reached the arcade room, Lara was not there. There were only a few punks shooting pool. I stopped to catch my breath, wondering where she could be. If she was by the river, she would be hard to find. Still, there was nothing else to do, so I walked to the water and started hiking along the bank. After ten minutes going upstream, I still hadn’t found her, so I went back to camp disappointed. As I approached, I saw Lara helping with dinner. My nerves kicked up another notch as I came near to her.
“Lara, can I talk to you for a sec?” I asked quietly.
She continued working. “Why?”
I followed her around awkwardly as she moved back and forth, placing the paper dishes and plastic dinnerware. “I need to talk. Can we go somewhere?”
“I don’t want to talk right now.”
I let out a breath. “Please. I really have some things I need to say.”
“Well, say them then. I can’t promise I’ll listen though.”
“Lara, come on! This is important!” I pleaded.
“Matt, leave me alone, all right?” she spat.
The adults were now watching our exchange. A light breeze punctuated the tense moment of silence. I glanced at my mothers, but they didn’t move. There was concern in their eyes.
“I said I don’t want to talk to you,” Lara muttered.
She put the last few utensils down and then stalked off toward the river. I got the impression that I shouldn’t follow her. I stood at the table, picking at some splinters with a plastic knife, avoiding the eyes of the adults that I knew were observing me. I was about ready to ram the knife through the tabletop.
“Matt?” asked Melissa, her hand on my shoulder.
I stood numbly, feeling foolish. I vaguely saw Sarah walk off toward the river after Lara. For a long while I said nothing. Jamie and Reese went back to cooking dinner.
“I need to talk to her. I’m ready to talk.”
“Well, that’s good, Matt. I’m happy to hear that,” my mom said cautiously. “Why right now? What happened between you two while we were gone?”
“Nothing. I haven’t seen her all day.”
“What, then?”
I wasn’t sure what to say next. Finally, I mustered up some courage.
“I just feel bad about ... about the way I’ve treated her. And the way I’ve treated you and Mom the last few months.”
I could sense my mom release some tension as I said those words. She took a slow, deep breath, as she sat down at the picnic table. I remained standing, still picking at the wood with the knife. Mom reached out and stopped my hand gently.
“Matt, sit down.”
I sat next to her, eyes wet, studying the blue and white patterned flowers on the waxed paper plate. The stupid design of this stupid plate...
The flowers jumped out at me like I’d never seen anything like that on a plate before. Someone had taken time to design and draw these soft petals and delicate stems, carefully capturing the essence of the blooms, placing them in the floral layout, and printing them up in pastel colors. Then we just slopped food on it and threw the plates out, never to be seen again.
In my mind I saw a mother carefully selecting just the right plate for her son’s birthday party, and then what? Did anyone even care what she had chosen, as the plates became smeared with chocolate frosting and then were unceremoniously discarded in a large black plastic trash bag along with a ton of other shit? What was the point of beauty, even stupid, stupid, useless beauty like the stupid flowers on this stupid plate in front of me, if we didn’t even appreciate it?
The world is such an endless waste, I thought through my tears. I’d wasted how much time being mad at Lara? And for what?
A tear dropped onto the plate, wetting the bouquet.
After a while, I started to calm down. Melissa seemed unsure where, or when, to begin. She just held my hand as I regained my composure. At last, she spoke.
“This’s been a rough time for all of us. I know you’ve had some tough things happen to you this winter.”
I wondered what she knew. Julie had broken it off with me. But what did she know from Lara?
“It’s been a difficult time for Lara, too,” she continued. “We’ve been at our wits’ end trying to figure out why the two of you have been so irritated with each other. Something obviously happened between you two back in January.”
She paused expectantly.
“Mom, I can’t—” I started to say.
“Matt, it’s okay. I don’t need to know what it was. I haven’t needed to know. What I want ... What your mother and I want is for you and Lara to be happy. If you have an issue with Lara, and if you can resolve it with her, then that’s fine,” she said, holding out her open hand. “But what’s not been fine is this anger, this shutting-out of your family.”
I sat quietly for a while, digesting some of my thoughts and feelings. Things are such a mess.
“I’m sorry. I was having a tough time, and I just couldn’t get out of it, I guess.”
“Why wouldn’t you let us help you?”
“I didn’t want to be helped.”
“Do you want help now?” she asked, looking at me intently.
I stared at the plate. It was just a paper circle with a mass-produced design on it. I thought for a moment. Did I want to come clean, examine my life?
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
“I think that, no matter what, if you get out what you need to get out, you’ll feel better than how you’ve felt these last months.”
I flinched at her statement, unsure of its truth. Some things seemed better left undisturbed. It had become instinctive to shut down any encroaching emotions for so long. That reflex was now threatening to kick in again, but for the first time, I was not welcoming it.
“How are you so sure?” I asked.
My mom put a hand on my shoulder. “Whatever it is, your mother and I have probably been somewhere just like it.”
I was doubtful of that, but I didn’t say so.
“Listen, Matt, I think it’s great that you want to talk with Lara.” Her voice was more animated now. “I know she wants to reach out to you too.”
I wondered why she thought that. It seemed like I was the last person in the world Lara wanted to see.
“I can just tell,” she added, seemingly reading my thoughts.
“Well, she obviously doesn’t want to reach out right now,” I said bitterly.
My mom smiled sadly. “Do you remember our talk in the cabin a few months ago?”
“You mean when you grounded me?” I asked, wincing at the memory.
“Yeah, that. Did you feel like reaching out that day?”
I stayed quiet, not sure what she was getting at. I thought back. Mostly, all I could remember was feeling detached from life.
“I don’t think so. I didn’t want to talk to you at all, back then.”
She looked at me and then said, “I was thinking more about reaching out to Lara.”
Again, I cast around in my memories. Yes ... There had been a moment when I wanted to talk to Lara. But how did my mom know? Or even remember?
“I guess so. I think I wanted to talk to Lara that afternoon, but I didn’t,” I admitted.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. I just wasn’t ready, I guess.”
“Well, she’s going through the same feelings you are.”
“So I have to wait until she’s ready? How long is that going to be?” I started feeling more depressed. Were Lara and I going to go around in a loop, always waiting for each other to be ready, then getting angry when it didn’t happen?
“No, I think she wants to talk now. But like you, she is also very confused, and hurting.”
Melissa glanced toward the river, where Sarah was walking back to camp.
“Have you talked with her?” I asked after a pause.
“Some.”
I could tell by her tone that it was probably more than ‘some’. I was slightly more optimistic that Lara might talk to me, if my mom really thought it was so.
“What has she said?” I asked.
“You really should work this out with her, Matt.”
“How?”
“Let’s see what Mom has to say.”
Sarah neared, her eyes were slightly red around the edges. She and Melissa looked at each other for a few long moments before she sat down across from us.
“How is she?” I asked.
“She says she wants to talk to you,” said my mom, nodding.
“Right now?”
She nodded again. “She’s waiting by the river.”
“What about dinner?” I asked. I didn’t think our conversation would last only five minutes.
“Don’t worry; you can eat when you’re done. This is more important than some corn and fish.”
I sat still, fidgeting with the cheap plastic fork. The tines were all twisted and bent. Sarah took my hand in hers.
“Matt, she said it was okay if you came to talk.”
I stood up, avoiding my mothers’ eyes. “All right. We’ll be over there, then.” I started off toward the river.
“Matt,” called out Sarah.
I turned to look at her.
“We love you. Both of you.”
I smiled a little and walked toward the sound of the rushing river.
It was cold on the beach that day. Low clouds were being dragged across the sky like gray finger paint. The washed-out light made everything white. Small but angry waves continued their endless erosion of the coastline. People were scarce, leaving me to command a huge expanse of sand that more than adequately served as the Saharan desert.
I was playing with my favorite Matchbox car, a Ford Escort decaled with rally-racing markings. The car jumped up over the giant dunes, gracefully landing on the down slopes.
Rrrrmmm... !
“Matt, come play with me in the water!” chirped Lara.
“No, I don’t want to. I’m racing in the Paris-Dakar rally.”
“Please? I’ll be your best friend forever?”
“No!”
Lara stamped her little foot. “Fine! You’re mean!”
She ran away toward where our mothers and aunt lay on bright colored towels. I watched her go for a moment, stung by her tone. Then the race called me back to the sand.
Rrrrmmm. Oh, an accident! The Escort was flipped over on its top. The drivers scrambled to get out of the flaming vehicle. Sand flew up everywhere, as the car was buried by a freak sandstorm. What would the drivers do? They would have to wait for their tow truck to pull it out.
Another engine sound was getting louder and louder. A real engine, I realized. I looked up. A red plane was flying low over the beach, trailing a green flag! I watched in awe as the pilot of the propeller plane waved to me. I waved back, jumping up and down, laughing giddily.
I had to tell Lara! I ran all the way back to where everyone was stretched out on towels.
“Lara, did you see the airplane? Did you see the airplane?”
She was looking after it into the distance.
“Yeah! That was neat!” she exclaimed.
She ran off toward the water, arms outstretched to her sides. I followed, echoing her echo of the engine sounds, so sure that if we could run just a little faster, we could fly after the plane. Lara jumped over the first waves and skipped into the ocean, eventually being tripped up and swallowed by the dark waters. I laughed to see her fall so.
“Lara, you’re silly,” I said, as she crawled out of the sea foam.
“No, you’re silly.”
We stared after the plane. It was but a speck in the sky now.
“Where do you think it was it going?” she asked.
“Probably Greenland,” I replied.
“Greenland? No, I think it was going to England.”
“Nah, that’s too far away.”
“No, it’s not,” answered Lara confidently. “Mom said that England is just on the other side of the ocean.”
“That’s far. The ocean is big. England is far away. If it was close I would go to watch the Paris-Dakar rally.”
“Did you win the race?”
Fear abruptly gripped me. In the excitement of seeing the plane, I’d forgotten all about my car! I ran up the beach toward where I’d been playing with it.
“Matt!” Lara called out behind me.
All I could see were endless white dunes that all looked the same. I’d left the car half-buried in the sand. My favorite car! I was so happy when I’d received it from Uncle Hans for my birthday a few days earlier. He’d also given me a real rally car magazine.
Now the car was gone. I ran around, searching for it frantically, my eyes tightening.
“Matt, what are you doing?” asked Lara as she caught up with me.
“I left my car in the sand. I can’t find it!” I cried, fighting back the inevitable tears.
“Don’t worry, I’ll help you look for it,” she said cheerily, as she started searching the area.
I couldn’t believe it. All because of that stupid plane. I was digging up everything white, with great hope, only to find it was just a shell or a pebble. Finally, I sat down and cried.
“Don’t cry, Matt,” said Lara, patting my back. “We’ll find it.”
“It’s lost. I lost it! It was my favorite car!”
“You won’t find it if you don’t look!”
I just hung my head as Lara crawled away again. What was Hans going to think when I had to tell him I lost the car? I was in despair. Tear drops left little craters in the blurry white sand below me.
“Matt! Matt! I found it!”
I looked at Lara through wet eyes. She was running toward me, smiling brightly. Unbelievably, she was holding a small white car in her outstretched hand. She handed it to me and watched happily as I examined it, shaking sand out of the beige interior. I was completely overjoyed. I stood and gave Lara a big hug.
“Lara! You’re my best friend!”
“Forever?” she asked with a happy smile.
“I promise. You’re my best friend, forever...”
When I reached the river, Lara was sitting on a slope of soft dry moss, arms clasping her knees up to her chest as she stared at the deep pool of water before her. Her long hair swayed gently in the breeze.
I wondered if she was as nervous as I was. I sat down a few quiet feet away from her, adding my gaze to the river’s surface. She didn’t acknowledge me, so I just sat still, trying to read her disposition. Every now and then a trout swam lazily up to the surface and sucked a floating bug into its mouth. If only my life was half as easy as that.
Where to start? I wished that there was some way of just making everything right, like it used to be. But there were demons to wrestle with, and even though I was ready to face them, I didn’t know which to tackle first.
“You haven’t fished much this weekend,” I finally murmured, just to wet my dry mouth.
“Haven’t felt like it.”
At least she doesn’t sound angry.
“Mmm ... Mom said it was okay if I came over,” I said, in an attempt to test her mood.
“Yeah. I’m sorry about earlier. Some asshole in the game room was hitting on me, and I was in a bad mood.”
“That sucks. Do you want me to go find him?” I asked, trying to sound playful.
“No, that’s all right. I kicked his ass for you already.”
I laughed a little and then took a deep breath. At least she seemed open to talking.
“I don’t know where to begin,” I admitted, picking at the moss vaguely.
“I don’t either.”
“I miss you.”
Lara was silent for a bit. “Me, too,” she whispered. “A lot.”
I chanced a glance at her. A single tear ran down her cheek as she continued to stare at the river.
“How did we get here?” she asked with a broken voice.
This was the moment of truth.
“It’s my fault,” I breathed. “I pushed you away, even after you tried to help me that night.”
Lara started to speak and then was quiet. When she didn’t talk again, I went on. I had to get things out before I lost courage.
“I’m really sorry for being such an asshole. I feel terrible about the last few months. But I just couldn’t snap out of my depression, you know? Every time I thought I should talk to you, I just couldn’t do it. Instead, I said mean things, and ... I can’t go on like this, though. I want to go back like things were before.”
“We can’t just go back,” Lara said.
Cocksucker Blues By Linda Laving [email protected] It was open mike night in the club, and I was in the closet that passed as a dressing room on my knees as the owner, a 30-something Italian guy, grunted and I felt the warmth flood my mouth as he drained his thick musky cum onto my tongue. I sucked out the last few drops when he was done and swallowed down the mouthful, which joined the previous four I'd already consumed that evening and felt it sliding down my throat on the...
Indru tamil kama kathaiyil ilamaiyaana magalum pinbu vithavai ammavaiyum eppadi usar seithu matter poten endru ungaluku solugiren. Suvarasiyam athigam irukum kama kathaikul selalam vaarungal, en peyar karthik. En veethiiyil oru pen ilamaiyaaga sexiyaaga irupaal, avalai thinamum sight adithu kondu irupen. Thinamum aval kalluri sendru varum pozhuthu iru velaiyilum sight adika arambithu viduven. Aval peyar nandhini vayathu 21 irukum, avaluku veetil aan thunai kidaiyaathu. Veetil oru amma iru...
As soon as he met Amanda, Brett knew that he had found the girl of his dreams. She was beautiful, sexy and clever. She could cook in seven languages, had a happy nature and was the most fun to be with, either in or out of bed. There was never any doubt in his mind, right from the outset, that this was the girl he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Then she dumped him.The only explanation she offered him was that he was boring, that he didn’t do anything but play golf. That was a...
Straight SexThis morning began like any other morning for me. I missed most of it. This is what comes of being a night person, you tend to miss most of the mornings, at least that part of the mornings between four and eleven. As far as I was concerned mornings ended not long after my head hit the pillow, and stuttered back to life at eleven. Whoever’s pillow it was didn’t bother me. This morning it was mine, and the one next to it was occupied by ‘Round Heels Rhonda’ who had agreed, when asked, to share my...
Summertime Blues Author's Note: This is an old story of mine which I self-edited using the great suggestions I been receiving. I will go back and edit it more. I want to see how well I could implement the suggestions which I got. Also, I want to give a thanks to all the people who had help me in my writing. It was a bright sunny Saturday afternoon in July yet it was raining in Joe's mind. This was for Joe was having a run of the mill bad day so he headed to the bar for a drink. He...
Jason woke up on the sofa at his father's house, and the first thing he realized was that he was desperately horny. He had been dreaming about sex again, and his eighteen year old cock was painfully erect. Idly, he listened for sounds in the house as he reached beneath the blanket covering him to stroke his bulge. The house was quiet, though Jason could tell it was already late in the morning. If he had been home, his mother would have dragged him out of bed already, whether it was Sunday or...
TabooNote : This story is completely fictional!In nineteen forty six Thelma Lou Anderson was married with three kids. Linda was the oldest. She was sixteen. Guy and George was ten and Guy seven. Thelma owned a beauty shop in Kansas City. She suspected her husband Lawerance was cheating on her again. She followed him one day when he thought she was at work and saw him go into a house. A woman opened the door and he went in. That was all the proof she needed. She went home and packed her suitcase and...
IncestI had just gotten dumped by a longtime girlfriend a couple weeks before, and I wasn't taking it well. I was frustrated with the world.At this stage of grief even thinking about women pained me, so I guess in my process I started thinking more about sex with men. I'd always been bisexual, and though I leaned more towards women, I regularly had fantasies about men too. Surprisingly, though, not only were my thoughts about men becoming more frequent, they were changing. In the past I only...
BisexualThe thought of having to wait for the following day was way to much, it couldn't come quick enough. The day dawned and I was getting ready to meet my destiny, again, this time I was going to be serviced, or at least I thought I was. The appointed hour had arrived and I set off to the park, this time I was in shorts and a baggy sweater. I arrived at the car park and noticed quite a few more cars than yesterday, not good news, more cars = more people walking about. I started off along the towpath...
Off work and bored I decided to have a gentle meander down by the local river. I parked the car in the car park and set off along the towpath, it wasn't long before I started feeling a bit horny. The footpath is quite open, not a lot of cover, and you can see people coming for quite a distance so I decided to pull my cock out from my tracky bottoms, it was nice feeling the breeze on my balls. In the distance I could see a couple of people walking their dogs I went to a picnic table on the grass...
My wife has a good figure but is normally reserved about showing it off. She is happy to wear bikinis, as long as they cover her bits effectively.She is quite sensual and likes to wear sexy underwear, but insists that it is purely for my benefit. I know that it makes her feel sexy as well (and possibly a bit naughty when she wears skimpy or transparent underwear).I would like her to reveal more of her figure and have suggested outings to naturist areas or nudist beaches. I get a thrill from the...
Hi this is a story which happened to me just a few weeks back and this about the way i lost my virginity.i had been very fond of hunting so i often imagined of wandering of to undiscovered and secluded areas,after finishing my boards i finally got a chance.me and my friend decided to go deep into himalyas and camp here and there for 1 month.so we started from ludhiana and reached manali in 6 hrs and that night decided to stay in a hotel.and then we started our journey deeper into the himalyas...
Cool water splashed as Amelia swam back and forth between the two riverbanks. The gentle current pushed her downriver, but she adjusted course. Her muscles burned. She sucked in a harsh breath, resolving to finish her arbitrary set. The noon sunlight shimmered across the water’s surface.Grass and dirt bumped into Amelia’s hand, and she curled her knees to stop. Her body pressed up against the bank. She pushed back and stretched her legs to reach the bottom. Nothing but empty water spread out...
Fantasy & Sci-FiTales of the Enclave: Moaning Lisa Sings the Blues Tales of the Enclave: Moaning Lisa Sings the Bluesby kinkston (On a secluded estate an hour's drive north of New York City lies a highly exclusive retreat known to its wealthy and decadent members simply as the Enclave. Here rock stars, investment bankers, potentates and plutocrats come to dominate and be dominated in privacy and safety, assisted by an elite staff of expert dominatrixes. Also in residence is a select stable of submissive...
Mother Ethel always enjoyed the short walk to the train station. It was beautiful Autumnal morning and Mother Ethel took the opportunity to walk to the train station as she knew that she had a very busy day ahead. Those that saw Mother Ethel along the way bowed reverently,they knew that Mother Ethel was a Nun of the Monastery of Repentance and when a Nun or a Monk walked past it was polite to bow, for many knew what the Nun's and Monk's of the Monastery were capable of. As Mother Ethel strolled...
Dot, Dorothea, and Dick Chapter One Dear sister: I found this letter among some others, scrolled up and tied with purple ribbon, in a chest belonging to our great grandfather. The name Charles has belonged to several in our family line, but I believe I know the one who received and saved this letter, and kept it preserved for so many years. I believe the letter speaks for itself, so I will now offer it up to you. Dearest Charles: I hope this missive finds you in such good...
Chapter 1 I'm pretty satisfied with my life and how I live. 35 years old, divorced, comfortably off and with no real responsibilities or worries and a job that I enjoy and get a sense of accomplishment from. Some years ago I went into partnership with a couple of friends and we operated a small but highly technical 'Machine Tools and Precise Fittings' workshop employing a small but highly qualified staff who are paid them well and rewarded for extra productivity and loyalty. I no longer...
Our Last Day of School. I can’t believe it. This is my last day of school, I thought, not sure how I felt now that the long awaited day was here. Stepping out into the beautiful sunny afternoon, heading toward the group of waiting yellow school buses I breathed a sigh of relief. I was glad school was finished. Throughout High School like a ship at sea, I had plotted my course, studying hard. However, the Scholarship that many felt I had rightfully won had somehow ended up going to one of...
“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?”Anthea looked up at her mum as she sat down at the dining table. “Nothing is wrong,” Anthea responded watching as her mum hurriedly dried her hands with a tea towel.“Is the baby okay? Are you okay? Is Jack okay?” she asked as her husband came into the room and pulled up a seat at the table.“We’re all fine Mum,” she responded exasperated with her mum’s anxiety. “I have something to tell you.”“Sit down Helen,” her dad snapped. “Give the lass a chance to speak.”Anthea...
My Golden Summer with Blythe – Part 2 Josh’s childhood dream girl visits him in San Francisco. The Return of Blythe Coming from a small farming community, San Francisco proved to be everything Josh had ever imagined – and then some. He loved the freewheeling atmosphere – the friendliness – in short, he fell in love with the city by the Bay. Because of early retirements, and dedication to his work, he had advanced much quicker than he had ever expected. Arriving at his chic little Apartment...
Long Gone Lonesome Blues Written and recorded by Hank Williams. Copyright, Acuff-Rose Music, Inc./Hiriam Music (BMI) Author's note: I was sipping on a scotch - Damn, I gotta stay away from that stuff - last night while working through my email. I was playing my Hank Williams playlist on iTunes, and one of the songs caught my ear. It was of course, "Long Gone Lonesome Blues." This is not as well known as many of his other songs but it has always been one of my favorites. Like many country...
TV Nudist Part 3: WEDDING BELL BLUES by Rachel Saunders Entertainment for adults only, please! All comments, questions, criticisms, etc. are gladly welcomed and greatly appreciated. Thank you! "Oh boy," I said again. Scott was still shaking my hand enthusiastically. Amy stood in the corner, leaning against the kitchen counter. "I told you she was something, didn't I?," Amy asked. Scott just answered with that...
Uther By Ellie Dauber (c) 2006 Introduction According to the legends of King Arthur, Merlin changed Uther Pendragon into a double for Duke Gorlois, so he could spend the night with Ygraine, the Duke's wife. Ygraine and Gorlois had three daughters: Elaine, Morgause, and Morgan le Faye. During their time together, Ygraine became pregnant with the child who was to become King Arthur. Uther's men killed Gorlois that same night. This is my TG (of course) version of what...
Once again, is this realy a BDSM story? Well, not really but it has, at it's heart, a Femdom relationship and I hope you'll enjoy it.You, the reader, should share in my heartfelt thanks to Estragon, Rhonda's biggest fan, who persuaded me that it was worth my effort and, far more importantly, worth his effort to correct the innumerable errors in grammar and punctuation so that Tracy's story could be properly enjoyed. Any errors that remain are my fault, not his.L.J. Tracy's StoryI was young and...
I am not a novice when it comes to masturbation, I’d actually be very embarrassed to share with you exactly how long I’ve been tickling my own fancy. Yup. Even when there is someone occupying my bed for a time, I find that I still masturbate for various reasons. Proud accomplishments? I’ve discovered that if my mind is properly stimulated, I can orgasm in just under five minutes. I timed it and everything. Yup. Had nothing better to do. I really do like the way I taste. I’ve discovered that if...
ExhibitionismChapter 11: Althea, the School Girl The infernal screeching of the alarm clock awoke Cal from his reverie. He had been up for about a half-hour, but he had only been lying in bed next to the love of his life. Althea's arms were still clutched about him as he stealthily clicked the snooze button, assuming that it was six o' five in the morning, his usual waking time during the school week. He had been thinking long and hard about the previous two nights. Evan... what have you become? He...
edited by Master Ken Wednesday, September 4th, 2013 "Hi, I am Miss Blythe," I said to my class, writing my name on the whiteboard with a red dry-erase marker. "I will be your World History teacher." It was the first day of the new school year and, as I launched into the course syllabus, my thoughts kept drifting to that day in June at the end of the last term, when my Living God, the Holy Mark Glassner, walked into this very classroom and changed my very outlook on life. I didn't know...
The the wind howled around the quayside as I stepped onto terra firma for the first time in weeks, the wind threw sharp shards of ice to sting our faces as we looked up at the sails as they were finally furled and stowed as our captain grinned at our discomfiture, "Au revoir!" he joked as if he knew we should soon be recalled. Those such as were left, and we were few enough, I shuddered. My best uniform packed securely in my Valise, awaited me, and just a few more duties before I...
Biloxi Blues by Allyssa Davis The following is a true story to the best of my recollection The year was 1995, May as I recall. I had just spent 19 months on the road working in close quarters with other people so I unfortunately could not practice in my secret obsession. I year and 3 months prior I had broken up with a woman that taught me some points as far as dressing as a woman and taught me makeup tips. It was all in fun for her at first, indulging my secret desires,...
As he approached one of the hall's long mirrors he stopped to inspect himself. It was a familiar sight, the flowing, billowy French maid outfit surrounding his body. His arms and legs were outlined in silky, white stockings and arm-gloves. He wore pearl earrings and the lacy white collar around his neck was adorned with a beautiful pendant. It was a gift from mother that he wore every day, without fail. Jon's painted red lips and neatly applied eyeliner and blush were evidence that he was...
PREFACE:There are no sex acts in the story but the patient does have an orgasm as a result of the Ther****t’s physical examination. Part 1 is the Sex Therapy appointment from the patient’s point of view and part 2 is the same examination seen through the eyes of the Ther****t. I don’t think it matters which one you read first.I hope you enjoy it and will let me know what you think in any...
Katherine stepped into her elegant living room and took a book from the shelf. She sat in a plush lounge chair, specifically selecting a chair in the back corner of the room next to an old dumbwaiter that was once used to ferry delicious meals from the downstairs kitchen to the dining room table. She planned to read the book for a short while, but she already knew her attention would soon be diverted. Tonight the dumbwaiter would once again be placed into service, except this time it would be...
Do you know of the porn site Motherless.com? You should. I’ve reviewed it a few times on my site, The Porn Dude, although it was for different genres every time. This time around, I’m going back to this place and looking at a specific and niche little category many of you are just begging me to cover. We’re looking at vintage porn today. While it doesn’t have the same resolution and quality as the porn you can find today, it’s definitely a genre of porn that has a lot of personality to it and...
Vintage Porn SitesI should have known better. I should have remembered that old saying, "If it looks too good to be true, it is." I was in love. She was damned near all I thought about with the exception of my studies and it didn't make sense to me. I prided myself on my intellect and my ability to think logically, but there wasn't anything logical about the way I felt about Althea. She was beautiful, smart and very popular and I was not. I wasn't a bed looking guy, but I was nothing exceptional. I was...
Motherless. A one-word website title that says everything it needs to say. This is a site where the rules are, more or less, completely thrown out the window, morality means absolutely nothing, and there is nobody to save you from it. Hedonism is God here.The site likely is also called this due to the fact that the girls who end up on motherless.com likely have no positive female influence in their lives to keep them from it. Motherless is the place parents spend their whole lives fearing that...
Porn Pictures SitesI always considered Motherless the “4chan” of porn. Not only because Motherless was somewhat popularized there, but because Motherless also encourages users to share their own content in a very open way. This means minimal bullshit like moderation and censorship, and a strong “anything goes” attitude that leads to free and extreme content. It encourages people to create and upload their own homegrown content, like videos of their girlfriend pissing or spycam videos of their cousin....
Amateur Porn SitesWhat is it about Motherless that makes me fucking cum every time? Maybe it is how raw and amateur the porn on the site comes across as, or the content is just that fucking hot. Perhaps it is the fact that there is an astronomical amount of pornography just waiting for a dumb fuck like you to beat off to! I really don’t know, and frankly, I’m not going to pretend that I do.But what I do know is that if you love BBWs, the Motherless.com homepage will not be of much use! Preferably, head on over...
BBW Porn SitesHave you ever heard about a website called Motherless? Home to all kinds of kinky porn niches, with a side of the mainstream crap? If you are into some questionable fap content, you might want to check this website out. Plus, Motherless is a free porn website, so you can browse as much as you fucking want. Now, I am not really here to talk about the website in general… I am here to tell you about their amazing category, called voyeur porn.The world of voyeur fucking is a rather interesting one....
Voyeur Porn SitesClothesline[This story is part of the Leather in Lawnville series.] Clothesline By DuskPetersonYou can tell a lot about a guy from where he shops. Take my friends, who have specialized tastes. Some of them spend their time at the hardware store, while others take an interest in our town's fabric shop, which has needles and pins that make them drool. Still others hang out at the department store, eyeing the cutlery collection. Somehow all of us end up rubbing shoulders at the town's jacket...
The Five Kingdoms of Arstoria had been embroiled in the Great Ancient War for centuries. The war came to an end when Kalace, the Wizard King conquered the five lands and brought them under his rule. Kalace, the Wizard King of Arstoria, conquered all of his opponents who were unable to deal with his overpowering magic. When Kalace had united the five kingdoms, he brought peace to the warring kingdoms and was revered and celebrated by his later generation. Kalace, however, had a dark weakness in...
FantasyWoah, did Motherless.com get a facelift? I know I suggested it in my review, so I guess they listened to me! Well, I’m not going to brag too much about it, and instead, I’m going to focus on what I’ve set out to bring you today. We’re looking at an amateur website, and I just know that many of you are begging for amateur creampie content, so that’s what we’re looking at. I know how much you think Motherless can look sickening and pretty gruesome at times, but the creampie content can be quite...
Creampie Porn SitesNo matter what type of porn you may be in the market for, Motherless has an ample supply of it, and cucking is no different. Actually, this might help to explain how you ended up being such a pussy little cuck.The journey that brought you to my website reading cuck porn reviews started in your childhood. A fair portion of my readership is actually motherless. Why, you ask? Your guys' moms chose a life of cucking and riding cock instead of raising you fucks properly.Don't worry, gents. I'm in...
Cuckold Porn SitesI browsed the horror stash at Motherless all morning, and now I don’t know if I should jack off or go hide in the closet until the danger has passed. Then again, hiding out might give me the perfect opportunity to rub one out in the peace and safety of the dark. Who knows who—or what—might be peeping in the windows with nefarious intent if I sit at my desk and shake my dick at the screen. Just like when I masturbate at the local Starbucks, I’ve got to be sure to balance the potential pleasure...
Extreme Porn WebsitesIncest porn has been a staple of pornography since the very first incel caveman realized that he couldn’t find fresh pussy out and about. He resorted to sniffing a whiff of his mother’s loincloth when she wasn’t looking, and beating his old cave meat into a leather sock.Now personally I’m not into the whole mommy-son dynamic – I’m a classy guy. But it’s no secret people like to get freaky when the lights go out, and if you’ve got a stiffy in your hand and you’re on Motherless, you gotta go...
Incest Porn SitesHi friends, indru tamil kama kathaiyil en sontha thangaiyai epadi oothen endra kudumba tamil kama kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. Vaarungal tamil kama kathaikul selalam, en peyar prathap vayathu 28 aagugirathu. Enaku oru thangi irukiraal aval peyar mala vayathu 26 aagugirathu, avaluku innum thirumanam seiya vilai Avaluku thirumanam seithu vaikum alavirku engal idam ipozhuthu panam ilai, loan apply seithu atharkaaga kathukondu irukirom. Naan oru kama veriyan eppozhuthu pen kidaikum avargalai...
My name is Rebecca. Everyone calls me Becca. I entered the police department right out of college. I progressed rapidly, through different divisions and assignments. I always had my eyes set on Robbery-Homicide and after six years of hard word and dedication, I finally made it. At age thirty, I was youngest female in the division for such a coveted assignment, but I was superb at my job. I made it because of my skill not my gender. It was Saturday. Dispatch called our number just after we had...
TabooThanks to my usual cast and crew of Editors and Advance Readers, most of whom prefer to pretend that they don’t know me and wisely wish to take no responsibility for any part of my addled writings... Il n’est rien de réel que le rêve et l’amour - Nothing is real but dreams and love (from Le Coeur innombrable, IV, Chanson du temps opportun by Anna de Noailles) She was my one true mistress and ever faithful lover, my Green Lady and guardian of my dreams and now that I was back home...
Hi friends, indru kathaiyil en nanbanai kathal seithu emathiriya pennai ootha kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. En tamil kathaiyai inaiya thalathil pathivu seithatharku nandri, en peyar pradeep vayathu 21 aagugirathu. En nanbanai oru pen kathal seithu matter mudinthathum kayati vitu vitaal, athanaal naan avalai usar seithu hardcore seiyanum endru mudithu seithen. En nanban enaku nanban endru kanbithukolamal aval idam muthal muthalil pesi pazhaga aarambithen. Aval pathini pola en idam nadika...
Hi friends, indru tamil kama kathaiyil en kanavanuku theriyamal ilamaiyaana kaal kathalanai eppadi love seithen endra kathaiyai ungal idam pagirugiren. Vaarungal tamil kama kathaikul selalam, enathu peyar jaya vayathu 36 agugirathu. Enaku thirumanam aagi oru paiyan irukiraan pinbu en kanavanuku vayathu 42 agugirathu. Naan santhoshamaaga thaan vaazhnthu vanthukondu irunthen, naan oru teacheraaga velai paarthu varugiren. Naan velai seiyum classku arugil oru veedu irukirathu, antha veetil oru...
My name is Anthony and I am twenty-two years old. I have extra-long dark hair and darker eyes. I tie my hair into a ponytail and have a close trimmed beard. I look handsome and enjoy keeping myself in shape. I am a lucky guy as I have a very sexy girlfriend who is two years older than me. Zoe and I met at a mutual friend’s party and hit it off right away. She has short blonde hair and blue eyes. Her small beautiful mouth sits beneath a cute button nose. All in all, Zoe is a goddess and I love...
CrossdressingHi friends, indru sex kathaiyil auntyai usar seithu eppadi matter adithen enbathai ungalidam pagirugiren. En peyar Seenu. Vayathu 21 aagugirathu. Naan ithu naal varai entha penaiyum sex seithathu kidaiyaathu. Naan engineering padithu varugiren, enathu nanbargal oru naal theaterku ennai azhaithaargal. Naangal neraga bar seithu saraku adithom, appozhuthu bagubali padam oodi kondu irunthathu. Naangal oru gramathil irukum theaterku sendru irunthom. Angu pothuvaga pengal athigam vara matargal,...
This incident took place around 5 years ago, when I completed my 12th boards exam. I was travelling to my native place-near Shimla- in the 2nd class AC with my cousins who will be joining me after 3 days. I met this lady in the train. We were in the same compartment. I expected more two people to be joining us as there were two more berths empty. The journey began and after 20 mins the TC came for a round up when I asked him about the remaining two people in our compartment but he told us that...
When the car with Jake in it became a dot on the horizon, Thea turned to go back in the house. Suddenly Floyd appeared. “Mrs. Thea, how you be?” Smiling, she knew immediately what he wanted. He had that look and a glance at his crotch confirmed it. The imprint of his cock was prominent as it pushed against the material. “Looks like everyone is gone.” Floyd said. His eyes looking out over the farm. “Yes, I am by myself for at least the next few days.” She replied in an...
“Well, hell,” Thea said as she wiped the beads of perspiration from her face. “I guess ‘spring’ is here, huh?” “Yeah. It’s supposed to be cooler at higher elevation,” I replied. We took a few minutes in the shade by the rocks before rejoining our boyfriends. The four of us had driven up into the pass to hike. According to the weather report, the last coolness of a fading winter was supposed to continue through mid-week, but they were wrong. Actually, from our view from Eagle Point, where we’d...
Motherless.com! What an original name for a porn site, don't you think? The title doesn't fuck around: your mother would never allow you to watch the kind of filth they’ve got on tap. They pride themselves on being a moral-free zone for sick fucks, where you can find damn near anything. I’m talking about desperate chicks fucking anything that resembles a dick and crazy bitches literally eating shit. When you’re done fapping to the weird vids, you can even find "normal" porno to pass the time....
Free Porn Tube SitesAh, motherless, here we are again. A site known for offering such a variety, that no matter how fucked up your needs are, there is a high chance that you will fulfill them here. However, I am not here to blab about the site in general; I am here to talk about one particular category, interracial. As for those who want to know more about the site, there is a whole different review on my website instead.As for those who came here to learn more about that interracial lovemaking, I got your back....
Interracial Porn SitesTherese looked at the scene before her. Her father and brother naked, her grandfather’s cock sticking out of his trousers and her grandmother eating her mother’s cunt, both of us naked. Beth with the camera, filming. “God, the slut is only in the door and she’s gone sex mad.” she said referring to me. She went and sat on the arm of her father’s chair putting her arm around him and kissing him on the cheek. My father was now hard again. He pushed my mother out of the way and started to fuck me...
Three months later, the sound of laughter made Thea Barton look up. The now twenty year -old blond-headed beauty was in the living room reading when she heard it. Recognizing the voice of Uncle Dan, she smiled as she waited to see whom he was going to be with. When the laughter grew louder, she smiled. Ah, yes! It was Irene, her now very good friend! Uncle Dan seemed to prefer her to the others. Her being married seemed to make no difference to all concerned parties. Thea smiled to herself,...