I Want to Play a Game
- 3 years ago
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KarenChapter 2 free porn video
Tuesday night I dragged Karen to a mixer. She resisted me at first, but it was my turn and I wouldn't let her say no. I always went with her and now it Karen's turn to indulge me.
"Who knows?" I teased my best friend as I watched her get slowly dressed. "You might meet some hot blonde and..."
"Named Bambi?" She giggled.
"I was thinking Tiffany." I stuck my tongue out at her. "You should wear skirts more often. You've got great legs."
"My short little legs?" Karen fixed the clasp on her skirt, black and red plaid with long thin pleats that fell just above her knees. I think she got it second hand from a thrift shop and it looked like half of a catholic schoolgirl uniform.
"I'm serious," I told her. "You should show off a little more."
"I hate wearing skirts," she sighed. "I feel ... Scottish."
"Scottish?" I laughed and tried not to stare at the girl. That skirt and the dark panties beneath it was all Karen was wearing at the moment. Her smallish breasts were pointed upward with long, puffy brown nipples and they liked to move around.
"Hmmm ... I'm not much for blouses either," she said, looking through her closet.
"Just wear a t-shirt," I shrugged. "That'll be cool."
I was wearing a somewhat shorter skirt than Karen's, a tight knit mini-skirt in baby blue and a black blouse over that. It wasn't silk, but it looked like it and the material wanted to cling to my bra, so I'd ditched it. There were going to be a lot of guys at the party and I really was starting to get desperate for a boyfriend, or at least a one night stand in some white boy's bedroom. I'd been spending too much time with Karen, both of us bewailing our non-existent love lives.
At least I had Rodney though. Karen only had me and that was why I was bringing her along. The thing with Karen was that she wasn't looking for a one night stand with anyone. She wanted the real deal and that was a much harder proposition no matter who you were. I'll admit that I was feeling sympathetic. You can't be best friends with someone and not feel empathy for them and Karen was doing everything right, if I'd stopped to think about it. If I'd been of a suspicious mind and could have actually imagined the girl being so devious.
Day by day I was becoming more comfortable with her. I could tell Karen anything and she'd listen. She'd laugh when it was funny, frown when it wasn't, and generally make me feel good about myself and the world around us. I could trust her enough to get drunk and pass out in bed with her. Even the one half-drunken kiss she'd given me, like the goodnight peck on her cheek I'd given her, had been perfectly imperfect. I wasn't queer, but the thought was in my head from time to time that I had the power to make Karen happy. I just tried not to pursue that line of reasoning, opting instead for the hope that Karen would somehow find a real girlfriend.
"Ta-dah!" Karen laughed, making fun of herself now that she was dressed and had fixed her face with the bare minimum amount of makeup a college girl could wear and get away with.
"About time!" I smiled at her.
"Do I look okay?" she asked, and the girl was definitely cute now.
As a tomboy she most often looked like a sixteen year old boy, albeit a rather feminine one. But now, all dressed up, Karen looked like the cute nineteen year old freshman she was and it was nice. Her short blonde hair was fluffed up into sort of a punk bed head, her blue eyes were bright and a little red lipstick really made a surprising difference. Karen's braless breasts were obvious beneath a golden t-shirt with the university logo across the front, and like I said, the girl had some real legs, even if they were white as snow and a little short maybe. They still looked pretty good to me.
"You look great," I nodded, standing up as I'd been sitting on her bed. "Ready to go?"
"I look like a total femme," Karen took a last look at herself in the mirror.
"Some girls like that look," I offered. "Right?"
"Yeah," she nodded and she was looking at me. "Some girls."
The mixer was supposed to be non-alcoholic, since it was an official university event for freshman and most of us were well under the legal drinking age. But wherever you get a couple hundred college kids together for dancing and socializing and a plain old good time, the drinking wasn't going to be very far away.
"What is it?" I asked Karen, who had found us some refreshments soon after arriving.
"Peppermint schnapps, I think," she shrugged. "It's good."
"It's hot!" I grimaced after taking a little too large of a swallow. She'd gotten us big 16 ounce cups and they were half-full, easily. That one drink was going to put me on my butt if I wasn't careful.
It was a regular college mixer and if you've been to one, you've been to all of them. The music was too loud, the venue was the Student Commons, outdoors in the center of campus with lights strung up in the trees and on poles decorated with blue and gold bunting. A lot of college kids were there, most of the freshman class it seemed to me, and Karen and I stayed close together as we moved through the crowd, pausing here and there to say hello to people we barely knew.
I did finish my drink and so did Karen and I had a pleasant, warm, and fuzzy buzz going on. Enough so that I didn't say no when Karen told me she wanted to dance. A lot of girls were dancing together and so it wasn't a big deal, but I'd been giving and getting some eye contact with a few guys, a few white guys that made my tummy tingle. They were all of a type too. My type, being rather tall and athletic looking, with short blonde or brown hair and blue eyes. Man! I was a sucker for a blonde guy with blue eyes and muscles and...
"Uh-oh," Karen giggled as the music slowed way down just a few minutes after we'd found the dance floor.
"Hmmm..." I shrugged and grinned at my best friend. "Are you going to lead?"
"Yeah!" She smiled back with happy surprise and I think she expected me to walk away rather than give her a slow dance.
Of course it wasn't real dancing so she didn't actually lead me at all. I put my hands on her shoulders and Karen's were on my hips. It was fun and we could actually talk without shouting now. I noticed most of the other girls had left the dance, leaving mostly couples and a bit more room to maneuver, but we weren't moving a whole lot anyway. Karen was content to hold me gently and we just moved slowly, shuffling our feet and smiling.
"I wish I was taller," Karen sighed and she was a good six inches shorter than me, her eyes about even with my breasts and she'd noticed that right away.
"Are you sure?" I teased her and Karen actually blushed a little as she realized I'd caught her.
"Any sign of Mr. Right?" she asked, changing the subject.
"Maybe," I shrugged and I could see one of those boys I'd been playing eye games with standing nearby. "But I think he's shy."
"Heh!" She snorted at that.
"What?" I looked down at her.
"You look like an underwear model, Kylie," Karen said. "You probably scare the hell out of him."
"I do not," I giggled.
"Hmph ... You have no idea," she sighed.
I almost frowned at that because Karen would know what she was talking about. She saw me pretty much like any white guy would, except she was probably a little biased since we were already friends. I'm attractive though, I knew that, and I did know that some men found beautiful women intimidating. I wasn't an underwear model though and I was just buzzed enough that the idea was keeping a happy smile on my lips.
"Any sign of Tiffany yet?" I asked and Karen shrugged.
"Bambi, you mean?" She glanced around. "Maybe. There's a couple girls here who look good enough to eat in bed."
"What?" I laughed at her. "Don't tell them that!"
"Nah, I wouldn't be that brave," Karen admitted with a longing look into my eyes and I felt a bit of heat growing inside me.
We didn't say anything for the next few minutes, until the song was almost over. The guy I was interested in was talking with a couple friends of his, holding a drink and watching me dance with Karen. Everytime I looked over, which was too often probably, I caught his eyes on me and that was making me warm too. He was interested and I was wondering how to get the man to introduce himself.
"Maybe we should advertise," I said with a small grin and Karen gave me a curious look.
"What do you mean?" she wondered.
"I mean, do something kind of ... sexy," I played my tongue across my bottom lip.
"Sexy?" Karen laughed lightly. "I'm sorta new to this whole mixer meeting people thing, remember?"
"Me too," I nodded. "But I know guys like it when girls kiss."
"Kiss?" Her blue eyes got a little bigger and I knew she wanted to push those cute little glasses up her nose. "You've been watching too many Girls Gone Wild videos, Kylie."
"You don't think so?" I asked her and I wasn't totally clear on what I was doing or why, but I was pretending pretty good. "We might get Bambi's undivided attention."
"You're serious? I thought you were teasing me," Karen laughed and the song was ending. "If you want to kiss me..."
I did kiss her, even as she said the words, telling myself I was doing it just to show my blonde stud how hot and sexy I really was. Guys love lesbians, everyone knows that, and I was willing to lie if it got me ten minutes alone with an attractive man so I could sell him on the idea of asking me out. Karen didn't mind, I'll tell you that much. I surprised her, but my dyke friend recovered quickly and for a second I wondered if I'd bitten off more than I could chew.
She pulled my hips to hers with one hand and the other was in my hair. Her tongue pushed into my mouth with a sense of urgency, almost desperation it seemed to me. I'd never been kissed so aggressively in my life and Karen may have imagined this was her one and only chance to possess me. I moaned and my hands were on her back and shoulders and I'd intended it to be a sexy little French kiss, like three seconds long maybe? But this was going on and on! Karen holding my head while she worked her jaw and kept our lips tightly sealed. Her surprisingly long tongue was exploring me everywhere, playing across mine and reaching for my tonsils it seemed.
It was a serious, serious kiss and after a good half minute or so, I was gasping for air, feeling my lips bruised and swallowing our mixed saliva. A lot of people had stopped to watch us, making Karen and me the center of attraction for the moment and it took a few seconds before we both realized it. Karen giggled nervously, pushing up her glasses and letting me go. I was nodding and licking my lips, determined to lose myself in the crowd and find something strong to drink. I felt a little confused actually, a little giddy, and my heart was beating fast. That kiss hadn't been part of my plan at all.
"Wow!" Karen was still pretty pink in the cheeks a couple minutes later as we found a guy selling peach wine coolers out of the trunk of his car.
"I think that was a little over-the-top," I said, looking back at the mixer half a block away now. When I run away, I run all the way.
"Oh." Karen had been all smiles, and it was hard for her to stop even as she tried to look contrite. "I'm sorry, Kylie. I didn't mean to..."
"It's okay," I said after drinking half of my wine cooler and it was slightly warm, but I didn't care. "I just didn't expect, um ... you know."
"Do you want to go back?" she wondered, glancing towards the music and she was drinking her wine quickly as well.
"Nah," I laughed and gave Karen a little bump with my shoulder. "You kiss like a guy, you know that?"
"I do?" She laughed too, relieved that I wasn't totally pissed, even though it had been my idea in the first place. "Well, yeah. You kiss like a girl."
"Heh!" I rolled my eyes and resigned myself to the fact that it was going to be another lonely night for Kylie. That guy had to think I was seriously gay after watching me make out with Karen. Him and all his friends, I sighed.
"Come on," Karen tugged at my hand. "We're all dressed up and it's too early to go home."
"Where are we going?" I asked, taking a second to finish my wine.
"I dunno," she shrugged. "Shopping."
"Shopping?" I blinked at her and Karen just grinned.
"The Pleasure-Trove?" I gave Karen a look and she just smiled, her pale skin and blonde hair taking on a pink glow from the neon surrounding the storefront.
"Ever been in here?" she asked me, holding the door open and I shook my head.
"Nope," I sighed, wondering why my best friend had to be so strange sometimes.
"It's nice," she promised, following me into the store. Pushing me sorta.
She'd told me we were going shopping, which had made zero sense at the time. Everything was closed except the little bars just off campus, a couple diners and the Winchell's Donut shop. And the local adult bookstore, of course, and that was where my lesbian friend had brought me, probably just to see the look on my face.
It was surprisingly nice inside and I suppose if a porn shop wanted a business license within a mile of the university it would have to be. The Pleasure-Trove was couples oriented, meaning it had a carpeted floor, wood paneling, decent lighting, and the local bubblegum radio station playing. No dirty old men in trench coats browsing fluorescent aisles of cellophane wrapped porn from Holland. The place looked an awful lot like the B. Dalton Bookseller I liked to browse at the mall. Except this one had a huge selection of dildos along one wall, no pun intended.
"Good evening, ladies." A clean cut young man, probably a grad student, was behind the counter to our immediate right and he looked nice and normal. Even cute, but I wasn't ever going to date a guy who worked in a porn shop, you know?
"Hi," I answered, feeling my tummy tighten with nervousness. I'd never been in an adult bookstore in my life!
"Come on." Karen grinned at me, looking like a high school girl in her plaid skirt and golden t-shirt with a pissed off gopher emblazoned on it.
"Dildos?" I giggled because that's where Karen was leading us, to that large selection displayed along a not-so-long wall.
"I really need one," she told me with a grin and she was clearly enjoying this. I felt pretty warm actually, not exactly embarrassed, but I was far from comfortable and I kept my eyes off the porn we were passing.
"I probably don't need to know that," I replied with a small laugh.
We were walking between a couple bookshelves packed with DVD videos and the shelves were labeled helpfully. Gay, Trans, Oriental, Lesbian, Interracial, Amateur ... Whoops ... I paused, looking at that word "Interracial" and wondering if they had movies of black girls with white guys. I'd seen a porn video before, but only once and it hadn't done a whole lot for me. Rodney had liked it, but until we'd started making out I'd pretty much been falling asleep. That movie hadn't had any white guys in it though.
I skipped quickly to catch up with Karen.
Back in Black. That's what that video had been called, I remembered. I wondered if they had any White in Black. That might be sorta fun to watch, but not alone probably and I laughed at myself for being silly. Did I really want to spend my hard earned allowance on porn? I doubted it. But I was interested, yeah, and not a little horny, which only added further to my discomfort.
"This is so weird," I made a face as Karen and I looked over the selection of toys.
"Yeah!" She grinned at me and she pointed at the biggest dildo there, a 36" long double headed dong as big around as my arm probably. "I wonder if they sell a lot of those."
"Oh God!" I didn't really want to look at it. "I don't even know what half this stuff is for."
"Yeah, you do," Karen said and I would have blushed then, if I weren't already so dark, but even so...
"Can I help you two find something?" the guy working there asked, almost making me jump out of my shoes. I hadn't realized he was standing behind us.
He was cute too and it was like finding Joaquin Phoenix working in a porn shop in that old movie, except maybe this guy didn't look quite that good. He was tall and white though, with soft brown eyes and dark brown hair. Dressed casual nice and looking neat, like I said. He looked like a thousand other guys I saw at the university everyday and if I'd been anyplace else I'd have been showing off probably, as Karen likes to call it.
"Yeah." She nodded and I stared at her for a second. "I'm looking for a decent strap-on. A realistic one, you know?"
"Right," the guy agreed, like girls came in all the time looking for strap-on dildos. "All the strap-on toys are down at this end..."
I felt like crawling into a hole. It was embarrassing and I wondered why Karen and this other guy were acting so normal. It was like we were looking for a decent pair of shoes or something, but these were cocks! Most of them didn't really look like cocks, true, but it was pretty unmistakable what they were for and where they were supposed to go, and ... What was I doing here? Karen was doing it on purpose too, I thought, asking for help just so this guy would stay close to me. I wondered if she was trying to make up for that tongue fucking kiss she'd given me at the mixer, the one that had basically scared me away from any chance I had at meeting a guy. But that was a mean thought and I pushed it away with a frown.
"Ohhh..." Karen laughed. "Here we go, Kylie. See anything you like?"
"What?" I blinked at her because she was almost making it sound like we were together.
"What size are you looking for?" the guy asked and I realized a second later that Karen wasn't answering because the man was looking at me. Like if Karen was wearing it, then I'd be the one...
"No! I'm not..." I stared at his handsome, smiling face for a second and then dropped my eyes and black or not, I was blushing hard.
"Like about mmmm ... eight inches? Maybe nine. Not huge," Karen said. "But definitely a Caucasian one. Right, Kylie?"
"White, huh?" He smiled at that and I gave Karen a dirty look, but she was too busy sticking her tongue out at me to notice. "How about the Peter North model?"
The guy was reaching up for the top shelf and pulling down a cardboard box with a plastic window. The sort of box Barbie dolls come in, you know? And inside was a large, white penis, obviously fake, but pretty realistic looking too, so far as I knew. It had balls and everything, but I'd never actually seen a white cock in person.
"That looks promising." Karen was all smiles as she took the box, turning it this way and that. "Modeled on adult film star Peter North from cast molds of his very own penis! What do you think, Kylie?"
"Karen..." I frowned at her.
"I can open it, if you want," the man offered.
"Yeah!" She agreed happily, ignoring my looks. "Can I take it for a test drive? I'm just kidding."
The salesman laughed as he opened the box and the dildo was fixed to a piece of cardboard with wire ties, the thin straps folded neatly and taped behind it. I stood there watching, feeling like I was at the scene of a crime and despite myself, I was checking the clerk out. I couldn't help it. He was standing three feet away from me, smiling and friendly and looking good while he did it. I'd seen his ass when he reached for the box and it was round and firm. God! And in front ... Yeah, he had a sweet bulge, not obscene or anything, but the man had something in his pants and I kept dropping my eyes to it every few seconds.
Something was wrong with my brain.
"Yeah, sorry," he laughed. "No driving on the premises."
"Oh, wow!" Karen grinned. "It's kind of soft. Is it supposed to be like that?"
"Uh..." the guy kind of shrugged.
"I've never touched a real one," she told him. "I thought they were supposed to be hard or something?"
"Karen, come on," I sighed, glancing at the guy and wondering if he knew my friend was teasing him, because it seemed obvious to me.
"What?" Karen smiled at me. "I haven't, you know that. Feel it, Kylie. Tell me if a cock is supposed to be that soft."
"It's soft on the outside," the guy explained. "But very firm on the inside. We sell a lot of these, so..."
"I don't want to touch it," I told Karen, looking at the dildo and it was still tied down so Karen couldn't really play with it or bend it, or anything.
"Firm sounds pretty good," she nodded. "What's this for though?"
"That's the ... Clitoral stimulator," the guy read from the box. "It says it's designed to provide hours of comfort and pleasure for the wearer."
"Hours? Cool!" Karen giggled. "What do you think, Kylie? Would it look good on me?"
"Uh, yeah," I surrendered with a roll of my eyes and the clerk was chuckling, giving me a sympathetic look which surprised me. "It's definitely you, Karen."
"Yeah," she agreed. "How much is it, anyway?"
"Huh? Oh..." The man had been looking at me, really looking, and I'd been looking back. When he turned his eyes to the box, I looked away and swallowed hard. "It's, uh ... Sixty-two fifty, plus tax."
"Sixty-two ... dollars?" Karen stared at him. "Don't you have any used ones or something?"
I laughed at that, just because it was pretty funny and the guy grinned at her. Karen had given him the dildo and he was working it back into the box carefully.
"Well, I'm not supposed to do this, but..." the man said, sounding like a used car salesman, and Karen laughed and I bit my bottom lip, finding his crotch with my eyes again.
That dildo was about nine inches long, or close to it anyway, and I wondered how that compared with the man in front of me. He seemed pretty confident. Most guys would be a little intimidated showing a couple girls, a couple of very attractive girls, a large penis ... Unless he was reasonably certain of his manhood, wouldn't you think? Eight inches of hard white cock would be really nice right about then and I could feel my pussy twinkling, which was the perfect word for it, believe me. I had a growing wet spot on my panties and that was ridiculous!
" ... I can knock off twenty percent," the man continued. "But don't tell anyone, okay?"
"You won't get in trouble?" Karen wondered with a little teasing in her voice.
"I'll say you had a coupon," he said with a smile. "We advertise in the papers all the time, so it's no big deal."
"Okay," she decided. "I'll take it. What are you gonna get, Kylie?"
"What? Me? I don't think..." I cleared my throat, glancing at the man.
"If you see anything you like..." he said gently. "Don't hesitate to ask. I have a lot of coupons in the register."
"Yeah," Karen laughed lightly. "You can't leave without getting something. Maybe they have t-shirts."
"A t-shirt?" I giggled nervously. "Shut-up."
"We have t-shirts," the guy said, as if Karen had been serious. "They're pretty explicit though."
"Explicit?" She grinned at him. "Like what?"
"For women? Like, ohhh... 'I love Cock' with the heart, you know," he said. "Or 'Got Sperm?' that sort of thing."
"God!" Karen laughed happily. "That's sick!"
"I don't think I need a t-shirt." I cleared my throat again and my mouth was unbearably dry.
"What's your most popular t-shirt?" Karen wondered and I looked around, really wishing some other customers would come in, but we were it. I suppose being a weeknight and with the big mixer going strong on campus, it was probably slow everywhere. The guy had nothing better to do than entertain us and Karen was having a great time.
"Karen ... Maybe the guy has to work?" I said, whining a little, but I was ready to go back to my room and just frig myself. That was my plan. I had a guy to fantasize about, our anonymous porn clerk, and I could get off and go to sleep and never go shopping with Karen again.
"I am working," the guy smiled at me and wow! His eyes were pretty. "The most popular one? A lot of girls get the one that says 'Slut for Black Cock' on it."
"Slut for black cock?" Karen laughed and I blinked at the guy.
"Yeah, white college girls," he shrugged. "I think it's a sorority thing mostly. They make the new pledges get them and wear them around for a day or two."
"Oh man!" Karen shook her head.
"It's a seasonal item," the man laughed. "Hazing season for the Greek Houses."
"Heh!" I laughed at his little joke and I'd actually been thinking about joining a Greek Society, but maybe not.
"Do you have any that say 'Slut for White Cock' on them?" Karen asked and I jerked slightly. "You could get one of those, Kylie. That would be pretty awesome."
"Yeah, we have those," the man said, looking at me. "Not a big seller, but if you're interested..."
"Uh ... no, that's ... okay..." I said slowly, avoiding his eyes.
"Kylie?" My friend giggled. "Are you kidding? She's always interested in white cock!"
"Karen!" I blinked at her.
"What? You don't have to be shy about it," she teased me and I was ready to run. "You should tell the world how you feel. Maybe all those black guys would leave you alone."
"Just ... stop, okay?" I frowned at her. She wasn't talking about 'all those black guys' either, Karen was talking about one black guy, Rodney, and we both knew it.
"Tell you what," the man cleared his throat. "Spend a hundred dollars and I can give you the t-shirt for free."
"Really?" Karen grinned at him. "Before or after the discount?"
"Before," the guy laughed.
"Alright. Sure." She grinned at me. "We just have to spend another, um ... forty bucks? Not even that."
"It's getting late," I said, but Karen was in a mood and I didn't know what I was feeling.
I was embarrassed now, like totally, and I hadn't really been comfortable since stepping through the door. But Karen was having fun and that guy was cute as hell and being ridiculous nice, and we were surrounded by sex. I mean, everywhere I looked I saw something that was making my mind wander. Talking about white cocks and seeing interracial videos and realistic dildos ... It was insane and my pussy was dripping and my tummy all knotted up with butterflies. My nipples itched like crazy and I kept checking that guy out, and ... Fuck! Why me?
"Come on, let's check out some videos or something," Karen was tugging at me arm.
"You want me to hold that up at the register?" the man asked, meaning the dildo Karen was buying and she nodded.
"Yeah," she agreed. "We're just gonna browse a little. Do you have like white guys with black girl videos?"
"Interracial?" The man pointed with a smile just for me. "Right over there."
"Thanks." Karen was already leading me reluctantly towards the bookshelves. "We gotta get you a good one, Kylie!"
"You're crazy! You know that?" I whispered as soon as we were out of sight of the guy, except there were cameras and mirrors all over, so he was probably watching us anyway.
"Come on!" Karen pushed her glasses up her pert nose. "We're just having fun. You seriously have to relax, Kylie. That guy's totally cool."
"I don't care," I insisted. "It's embarrassing."
"I'm sorry, okay?" She gave me a small frown. "I was just teasing you a little. The guy's cute anyway, isn't he? I saw you checking him out."
"I was not!" I whispered loudly.
"Yeah right!" Karen laughed at me and then it was my turn to frown. "You were posing for the guy, come on!"
"No, I wasn't." I swallowed hard. "He thinks I'm queer anyway now. Thanks a lot."
"No, he doesn't." Karen shook her head. "He saw you looking, that's the only reason he's knocking the price down."
"Looking at what?"
"At him, dopey!" She nudged me with her shoulder. "You oughta just give him your phone number."
"What? I'm not gonna go out with a guy who works in a porn shop!"
"Whatever," Karen sighed. "He's cute, he likes you, he's got a cool job, and he's probably got a dick as big as that dildo."
"How would you know..."
"And he's as white as I am," the girl kept going. "I bet he's fun as hell in bed. If you're into the whole man thing, I mean."
"Karen!"
"I wonder if he has a little sister?" She grinned at me and I had no choice but to laugh. "Oh, check this out! 'Little Black Box' ... Ouch!" Karen held up a video of a cute black girl with her ass impaled on a huge white cock. "I bet that hurts!"
"Uhhh..." I blinked at it.
"Too much, huh?" Karen laughed. "Let's find one with a girl who looks like you."
"What?"
"And then you can help me find one that looks like me!" Karen nodded happily. "Oh ... Hold on! Lesbian interracial? God!"
"Huh? Where?" I looked down and sure enough, Karen was holding a DVD promising six hours of interracial girl-on-girl action. "Oh no," I groaned and Karen was all smiles.
"Oh yes! I found my video," she giggled. "Where's yours?"
"I can't believe you're buying porn," I sighed.
"You mean, we're buying porn," Karen corrected me. "Keep looking, they say everyone has a twin someplace. Maybe yours is a porn star!"
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