Knobsworth not a jobsworth
- 3 years ago
- 48
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There weren't many people Topher would ever bother to talk to about his love life, fewer still he would expect to have any useful advice on the subject. His ex-girlfriend Estrella was the only one of those he trusted to reliably laugh at him if he was being ridiculous. It was a valuable service that no one else seemed comfortable providing.
She didn't laugh, but listened quietly when he called her up and told her about the arrangement he'd agreed to with Allegra. Instead, she said, "Well, it will either be brilliant or an unmitigated disaster. There's no middle ground here."
"I suspect you'd be right if romance were my only success condition," said Topher, still unsure there was any real chance of that. "If we end up being friends, I'd still count that a win."
"I can see that. There aren't a lot of people out there who think like you," said Estrella. "Of course, friends or lovers, if you're at cross-purposes, it will probably be like two cats in a bag."
Topher frowned. "How do you figure? It seems like we're two highly rational people with a better-than-average grasp of what we want out of life. Maybe we can be lovers. Maybe we can be friends. But if it turns out that what I want is incompatible with what she wants, we shake hands at the end of the night and don't see each other again."
Estrella gave a little grunt of surprise like she'd walked into something at stomach height and had a bit of wind knocked out of her. "Is that how you see it working out?"
"Why not? People have big, nasty fights because they get involved in mushy thinking. He thinks it was a one-night stand. She thought she was his girlfriend ... or one girl thought they were friends and the other thought sleeping with her boyfriend was okay." Topher chuckled. "I watched a couple episodes of Springer. I know how it works."
Estrella chuckled as well, but Topher suspected it was only a polite chuckle. "People also get into fights because neither side can give in enough to find a middle ground ... if you'll recall."
There was a hint of fondness behind the words that echoed in Topher's chest. It was funny that he could look back with something like nostalgia on arguments that had seemed so rancorous at the time. "You and I were in a very different situation than Allegra and I are. She and I are just trying to find out if we're compatible. We'd already been sleeping together for a while when you found out I was a soulless android aping human emotion without really understanding it."
That got a real laugh. "Wow. You hold a grudge, too. Don't you?"
"Not at all," said Topher. "Not with you and certainly not over that. It was probably the most insightful thing you ever said to me."
"Still..."
Topher hadn't brought it up to stir the ashes of their past relationship. "If I had given in more or you had, we might still be together. Is that a better outcome than you meeting and marrying Frank?"
"Not for me or Frank," said Estrella. "I do worry about you, though. You're thirty-six, Topher. At some point, you need to take a look at whoever you're with and ask yourself if they aren't the best chance at happiness you're going to have going forward."
"Why?" Topher was genuinely puzzled. "You found someone perfect for you. If you'd compromised sooner, you wouldn't have."
There was a long paused on the other end of the line. Topher let it stretch out. Aside from a willingness to mock him when he needed mocking, Estrella was also a close friend because she didn't dismiss what he said if it challenged her preconceived notions.
"I didn't compromise on Frank, but I compromise with Frank all the time," she said, seeming to consider each word carefully. "What we've discovered is that no matter how perfect someone starts out for you, somewhere along the line, compromise becomes necessary. You're like two boats at anchor. You're both drifting all the time. If you're not constantly adjusting course to stay together, eventually you float apart."
"And you think I should be ready to compromise with Allegra?"
"Only if she's willing to compromise with you," said Estrella. "She's a lot younger than us. She has time to be choosy. I just hope she's not so inflexible, the two of you miss out on something good."
Once they'd ordered dinner, Allegra leaned in a little closer to Topher to be heard over constant background of conversation that characterized Gator on a Friday night. "So, why did you choose this place for our first date? It seems a little unorthodox."
Topher considered that. He'd originally planned to take Allegra to a small, French bistro in Chelsea that he'd enjoyed in the past. It was much quieter and more upscale than this place - white tablecloths and soft, instrumental music. Here, the tables were lacquered driftwood and the music all-but-inaudible beneath the convivial crowd.
"I originally planned somewhere more neutral, but you made me realize I was going to need every advantage tonight," he admitted. "I'm comfortable here. The food is good. And the owner is an old friend of mine. If he gets you alone, he'll probably tell you some really audacious lies about me in the hopes you'll be impressed."
Allegra laughed. "Has he done this for you before?"
Topher shook his head. "I've seen him do it for other friends of his, so I assume he would do it for me. But, if he tells you I'm an astronaut, it's not true."
That got another laugh. "Actually, I was thinking about the kind of food. Most of it's really spicy. It's not exactly conducive to kissing afterwards."
Topher nodded. "That did occur to me. But, since you said you wanted to take it slow and not address the question of intimacy until we knew if we were going to be friends, I thought you might like to try the gumbo."
Allegra glanced back towards the kitchen. "The gumbo looks really good. But, when I said 'intimacy, ' I didn't mean a good night kiss. That's more of a declaration of intent."
There must have been some of Topher's sense of lost opportunity in his face because Allegra grinned at him. "Don't worry. If things go well, I brought a toothbrush."
"I brought one too," said Topher, not thinking about the implication until Allegra gave him a faint smirk. He considered explaining that he nearly always brought a toothbrush when he ate at a restaurant, but that might sound like he wasn't interested in kissing Allegra tonight, so he just gave a slight tilt of his head.
"I've been in one long-term and two shorter relationships since high school," said Allegra. "Both of the shorter-term ones were mistakes that I should have known better than to get involved in."
"And those led to the rules you made for yourself?" Topher took a draw of his beer, watching Allegra eat. She'd ordered a plate of gumbo and rice and ate like she was enjoying it, but what was drawing Topher's attention was the way she used her silverware after each bite to redistribute the food on her plate so that it was more or less centered. Her voice and body language were relaxed except for her hands, which suggested a boundless, nervous energy.
"They led me to realize I needed rules," said Allegra. "The rules are ... broader than just what I learned from my failed relationships. They're supposed to incorporate everything I've learned from dealing with people. Hopefully, they're more about what makes me happy than what doesn't."
Topher smiled. "So, what happened?"
"In the relationships?" Allegra seemed apologetic. "It wouldn't really make sense out of context ... or it might, but it wouldn't lead to the right conclusions yet. If you're still interested in the answer, I'll tell you on the third date."
Topher pursed his lips, considering the young woman across from him, wondering how many layers there were below the pleasing surface. She looked up from her food. "You're not going to press me to tell you now?"
Topher gave a brief head shake. "Was I supposed to?"
"No." Allegra leaned in. "But you had a look of deep thought on your face. I wondered what was causing it."
"I was thinking about the difference between being complicated and being complex," admitted Topher. "Complexity suggests a certain elegance. If you call someone complex, it's probably a compliment. If you call someone complicated, it suggests a messiness in their life."
"And you're trying to figure out which one I am?" Allegra watched him and Topher laughed.
"I suppose I am."
She considered that. "I'm not sure I know the answer myself. I hope that with the right person, I'll fit right into their life and be complex. But, if I'm not, I'd still settle for being complicated. Nobody wants to be simple."
Topher laughed at the truth of that, thought for a moment, and said, "I suspect it's not easy to be complex, but uncomplicated. I certainly don't know anyone who's managed it."
"Topher! Who is your lovely friend?" A heavy-set man with sandy hair and a florid complexion boomed as he approached the table. His apron bulged over his stomach and was stained with lurid yellow and red patches.
Topher saw Allegra flinch and her smile fade for a moment before coming back with slightly less self-assurance. Wanting to cover the tension before his friend noticed it, he said. "Random, this is Allegra. Allegra, this is Random, proud owner of Gator and a friend from way back." He turned to his old friend. "I was just telling Allegra here about my time as an astronaut.""
Random raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought that was still top secret. Did he tell you about the time he saved my life?"
After the initial shock of his approach, Allegra warmed greatly to Random. As the big man lumbered in and out of the kitchen, he never missed an opportunity to come by Topher and Allegra's table and frequently brought some little "fact" about Topher up. After about an hour, Allegra was laughing so hard her cheeks probably hurt. "Your friend is really an atrocious liar."
Topher shook his head, smiling broadly. "I'm not sure it counts as lying if you don't expect anyone to believe you."
Once Random had come over, it had seemed like permission for everyone to come see them. Topher had been to Gator enough times to kind of know most of the people there. Each new person seemed like a bit of a shock to Allegra and Topher was starting to think that bringing her here had been a bad idea, but after the first couple, she'd reached out and taken Topher's hand in her own, after which she'd seemed to relax considerably.
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Michael was standing in front of the DMD Offices, it was fall and Gainesville was cooling down. Having just finished the biggest sales pitch of his life the adrenaline was still pumping through his system. Fishing out a cigarette he lit it and took a long pull, finally starting to get his nerves under control. Walking around the side of the building he thought about the project he and Steve had been working to get for the last six months. The Equinox Center would be a multi-use...
I disembarked from my plane at New York's LaGuardia Airport and after collecting my luggage from the carrousel I headed over to the exit to get on a line for the cab. Jeez New York was still as ugly as I remembered I thought to myself while suspiciously eying the others waiting on the line. I remembered when there were more cabs than people but somewhere along the line greed took over and the cabbies decided $30 bucks wasn't enough for a 5 or 6 mile ride and stopped bothering with airport runs....
Incest“She was something new.” —G.S. Jennsen, Dissonance I SUPPOSE LAUGHING when you see a girl naked for the first time isn’t really the appropriate response, but I couldn’t help myself. Remas scowled at me and stomped her foot, which did nice things for her ample breasts. Despite the humor, my cock was rising in her direction. “What? What’s so funny about my naked body?” she demanded. Cindy and Desi returned from the bathroom with their toothbrushes in their mouths and both snorted when...
You're housesitting a friends cottage in the English countryside- it's pissing down outside, the phoneline has been blown down in the gale, but... the heatings on, the fridge is well stocked and your pal's left you a fine selection of booze. It's close to midnight and your sat in front of the fire, thoroughly contented, when there's a knock at the door. "Who's that?" you wonder, the rain is lashing down against the outside of the cottage. You are a little reluctant to open the door, until you...
Der Dieb Es war nebelig an diesem Sonntagmorgen in London. Gerald war extra fr?h schon wach um Leute abfangen zu k?nnen die in die Messe wollte. Er pers?nlich h?lt zwar nicht viel von der Messe, allerdings nehmen die Leute generell immer viel Geld dort hin mit. Zudem passen sie nicht sonderlich gut darauf auf. Die perfekte Gelegenheit um die eine oder andere Geldb?rse entwenden zu k?nnen. Es werden zwar auch andere Diebe ihr Unwesen treiben, aber er als Einsamer Wolf wird kaum erregen a...
One Sunday afternoon about a year ago, I had nothing really to do so I wandered down the hill from my house to a well-known Victorian public park quite close to where I live. It’s not very big and gets used as a cut-through for tourists and locals alike. It’s very well maintained by one of these ‘Friends of’ type societies and, as a result, it attracts a ‘better class of person’ lol!There are two paths forming an X across the park from each corner, which are lined by very mature trees,...
‘Are my dreams and expectations so unrealistic? All I ever wanted was to love and be loved. I put off getting involved in a relationship till I was established in my career, so I could have more to bring to a partnership. I never wanted to be dependent on anyone and wanted to feel I could carry my fair share of the load. I’ve kept myself in shape for my partner. I’ve done my best to be the best partner I could be. Now, I get this diagnosis and Pete jumps ship. To top it off, I discover he’s...
Author's note: There is a lot of identity jumping that happens in this older story of mine and back then when I was still writing for myself, I came up with the convention of using the first syllable of the wearer's name as a prefix to the victim's name as a way of keeping track of who was who. For example, the main character, "Warren" wearing a skin of the character "Fialla" would, after donning the skin would be referred to in narrative as "WaFialla:" that is, Warren inside...
Under the bleachers. The crowd cheered as the loacal high scholl team ran onto the feild. Amber who had just graduated the previous year attended tonights game, only she hadn't come to watch the game, she came for a whole other reason. Amber was a luscious red head with large breast and a small waste. Her cute freckled face and her green eyes were a sure bet that if she wanted to find a quick fuck, she wouldn't have to look...
We open this week’s show with a dreary, rain-soaked, grey-skied scene ... An establishing shot of a wide street, an industrial district on the edge of a large city. Long car-park/fore-courts, leading back to unexciting, single story industrial units ... Car dealerships, mechanics, etc. A large caption fills the screen, telling us that we are in: “STOKE-ON-TRENT, ENGLAND.” The caption fades as we come to rest on a car rental yard. Signage out front in green and black reads, “Enterprise...
Staggering into the train station, I swiped my MetroCard and looked around, seeing absolutely nobody. Coming back from a night out drinking, I just wanted to get home. It had been a fun night, but some cocktease girl left me all horny. Heading upstairs and going towards the platform for my train, I noticed a girl in her late teens leaning against the handrail halfway up the stairs. From the top of the stairs, I could see a woman further down the platform, sitting on a bench. I turned my head...
January 4, 1984, Rutherford, Ohio “How was New Year’s in Indianapolis?” I asked Dale when we sat down with our food at A&W. “Clara and I broke up,” he replied. “Whoa!” Jocelyn gasped. “What happened?” “It was building for the past few months,” Dale replied. “I’m not ready to be tied down as far as she wanted to tie me down.” “I don’t know,” I smirked, “I hear that can be fun!” Dale nodded, “Oh, it can!” Clarissa and I laughed and Jocelyn rolled her eyes as she had done so often...
Some marriages get stronger as the years go on. Mine wasn't one of them. It's not that I didn't love my wife, but she has her personality and rough edges, and I've got mine. Over the years, instead of wearing each other smooth to mesh better, they left each of us with raw spots. So, here we were with our separate careers, living in separate bedrooms in an upscale two-story in the classy part of town. I suppose we could have gotten divorced, but that would have required more effort than...