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Sean paused on arriving at work to appreciate the changes that had occurred at the Dairy King over the past three weeks. The building had been air conditioned making it a much more pleasant place to work. The gravel parking lot had been paved with blacktop and a carport cover erected that allowed two rows of eight cars to park in the shade. Suzie had taken a job as a carhop, taking and delivering customer orders to the parked cars. Business was hopping at the Dairy King.
Sean went into the backdoor of the Dairy King expecting another busy day. Looking up from the grill where a dozen patties were cooking, Mr. Catchums said, “There you are. You’re right on time.”
“Thank you for reminding me of my space-time coordinates,” Sean said.
“Huh?”
“It always amazes me how few people take the time to extend that little courtesy nowadays. It is really refreshing to hear someone remind you that you exist in the here and now,” Sean answered.
“Whatever,” Mr. Catchums said.
Sean said, “Usually I am hit with a request to change my space-time coordinates.”
“What does that mean?” Mr. Catchums asked.
Sean answered, “Most people tell me to leave.”
“I can understand that,” Mr. Catchums said. Pointing to the fryer, he said, “We’re really busy today. We need some more fries and onion rings.”
“Yes, Sir,” Sean said moving over to the fryer.
“Strange kid,” Mr. Catchums said shaking his head. He flipped a patty and laid a slice of cheese on another one. He looked over at Sean and watched the kid fill a basket with frozen fries. He cringed at the thought of what was going to happen next.
“Fry you dastardly slivers of potato, fry,” Sean shouted as he set the fry basket into the hot oil.
“You don’t have to say that every time you cook some fries,” Mr. Catchums said.
“I know, but I feel compelled to do the best job possible,” Sean replied. He picked up the bag of frozen onion rings and poured them into the second fry basket.
“Really strange kid,” Mr. Catchums muttered.
Sean held the basket of onion rings aloft and said, “You have been found guilty by a jury of your peers for the high crime of hiding your true nature as onions by wearing a disguise of batter. Do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?”
In a high pitched voice, he answered, “No.”
“I sentence you to death by boiling in oil,” Sean said. He gave a little scream while the basket was lowered into the fryer.
Looking over at Suzy taking another order, Mr. Catchums said, “I have no idea what she sees in him.”
After a few minutes, Sean lifted the basket of fries out of the fryer. He said, “Another perfect batch of golden fries. French fry aficionados around the world will sing songs of praise about you.”
“I need two small fries,” Mr. Catchums said.
“You who are about to die, we salute you,” Sean said while salting the fries.
“We really don’t need all of those commentaries,” Mr. Catchums said.
Sean said, “I really hope that when something eats me that it takes a moment to appreciate the sacrifice that I’m making on its behalf.”
“For crying out loud; it’s a French fry,” Mr. Catchums said.
Sean handed two small orders of fries to Mr. Catchums. He said, “I know, but they are perfect French fries prepared by a master chef.”
Mr. Catchums put the fries into the bag and called out the pickup window, “Order up.”
Suzie picked up the bag and, smiling, said, “I heard Sean arrive.”
“What do you see in that guy?” Mr. Catchums asked.
In the background, Sean said, “Oh you perfect onion rings. While it is true that the Gods heap praises upon you, the onerous task of telling you that there is one other far more beautiful than you falls upon me. Your beauty pales beside that of my fair maiden, Suzie. Fret not; her beauty is such that even the sun pales in comparison.”
“That,” Suzie said with a smile.
“I’m going to have to remember that line,” Mr. Catchums muttered returning to the grill.
Returning home from a hard day at work, Sean stopped by the wooden box that was by the side of the path. Liam was leaning against the box polishing the fingernails of his right hand on his green coat. Looking down at Liam, Sean said, “Hello, Liam.”
“Hello, Sean.”
“How are things?” Sean asked. There were some muffled noises coming from inside the box.
“They couldn’t be better,” Liam answered. “Getting chased around the country-side by two women is rather exciting.”
“That’s nice,” Sean said. He looked at the box that was now shaking from side to side and commented, “It looks like something is trapped in the box.”
“You’re right. It does look like something was caught in this poorly disguised trap,” Liam said with a smile.
“Indeed it does,” Sean said nodding his head.
Liam said, “Imagine the shame of getting caught in such an ugly trap.”
“The horror of it all,” Sean said.
“Judging by the way the trap is moving around, I would say that something pretty big was inside,” Liam said.
“I hope that it isn’t a monster,” Sean said.
Liam rapped on the side with a knuckle. He shouted, “Hello in there.”
After listening to a few choice words issuing forth from inside the box, Sean said, “That voice sounds rather familiar.”
“Such language,” Liam said.
“Shocking and most foul,” Sean said.
Liam said, “It doesn’t sound that monstrous.”
“You can never be too careful,” Sean said.
Liam stepped back and said, “Would you like to have the honor of letting the poor unfortunate creature caught in this insidious trap loose?”
“That is most kind of you,” Sean said.
Bowing and pointing to the box, Liam said, “Be my guest.”
Sean stepped up to the box and opened the trap door. The next thing he knew was that he was on the ground with a pair of arms wrapped around his ankles and someone shouting, “I got you!”
Sean looked down the length of his body at the person holding onto him. In a conversational tone of voice, he said, “Hi, Mom.”
“Oh, it is you,” his mother said sounding a little disappointed.
Sean asked, “How was your miserable day?”
“Miserable,” his mother answered relaxing her grip on him.
“That’s nice. Would you mind getting off of me?” Sean asked.
“How was your miserable day?” his mother asked getting off of him.
“Perfectly miserable,” Sean answered.
“That’s nice,” his mother said.
Sitting up, Sean said, “Thank you.”
Liam asked, “Did you enjoy your time in the box?”
“Oh, yes. It was quite comfortable,” his mother answered looking over at Liam. He was too far away to have any chance of catching him.
“Really? It looked rather cramped to me,” Liam said.
“No. It is much bigger inside than it looks,” Sean’s mother said.
“I find that rather hard to believe,” Liam said skeptically.
Stepping back, Sean’s mother gestured to the interior of the box and said, “You can try it and see for yourself.”
“That’s okay, I’ll take your word on it,” Liam said with a twinkle in his eye.
The discussion was interrupted when Clea ran past giggling loudly. Max followed two steps behind her. Watching the pair disappear into the woods, Sean’s mother asked, “Is it my imagination or were they naked?”
“They were naked,” Liam said.
“Strange things are afoot in the forest this fine evening,” Sean said.
Liam said, “It looks like Clea found a little friend.”
Sean’s mother said, “It is nice to see Max smiling again. His mother was complaining the other day that he seemed rather sad all of the time.”
“I must admit that he did look happy,” Sean said.
“Well, I guess I’ll follow along and make sure that they don’t get in too much trouble,” Liam said looking in the direction that the pair had headed.
“Watch them closely,” Sean said.
Smiling, Liam said, “Oh, I will.”
Seeing Liam disappear into the forest, Sean’s mother glanced at her watch and said, “I suppose I ought to go home and get dinner ready.”
Since everyone else was making plans, Sean thought he should do the same. He said, “I think I’ll go home and do nothing.”
His mother said, “You need to set up the projector and concession stand for the movie tonight.”
“I forgot about that,” Sean said. After the weeklong Sean Connery film festival, his mother and father had continued by having Saturday night movies. He looked at the box and asked, “What about that?”
“The Dwarves will get it. After all, they brought it here,” his mother said heading towards home.
“Ah,” Sean said. “I had wondered how it got there. I was tempted to ask you, but I was afraid that you’d tell me.”
“You’re such a timid boy when it comes to learning. You should never be afraid to ask a question,” his mother commented.
Looking sideways at his mother at the suggestion that he was timid about anything, Sean said, “There was something that I was meaning to ask.”
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